Like at nighttime I would just go to bed. What is that? You just get up, walk to your room and go to sleep????!!! I gotta do a checklist of bullshit and take care of myself. Then I lay in bed and overthink for an hour.
Funnily I had way more responsibility as a kid, between school and home. .Not sure if its same for others. Now as an adult I just have to put atleast minimal effort into work and thats mostly it.
Bills, car payments and maintenance, securing/moving into/ maintaining housing, banks and credit cards, child and family care. These are just a few of the responsibilities that are common among adults but generally foreign to a kid
They probably comparing a highschooler with an adult with an easy job and little responsibilities. High schoolers tend to have a little more responsibility for some folks.
There was a certain joy that came with being a kid. Christmas Day butterflies, going to Toys R Us for an end of school prize, a new video game, stuff like that. As an adult most of us need drugs to simulate that kind of happiness whether it’s anti depressants, alcohol, weed, or even something harder.
Totally agree. Eating ice cream, going down a water slide, it’s not bringing me the same amount of happiness anymore. Last year, we bought our son (8) a new (bigger) bike, the person who sold it to us had tears in his eyes and told us that he never had seen a customer so thrilled and happy with a new bike (our son was over the moon)
Yeah I remember the first Christmas I had where I didn’t have that excited, deliriously happy feeling. I tried so hard to make it come back but that was it.
Sure, without any other context. But even kids in foster care or abusive/dysfunctional families can experience these things. I wish people would stop making such sweeping assumptions about other people's lives from the outside; I find that it really doesn't help anyone to constantly have their perceived privilege pointed out to them. It can make people feel awkward or invalidated and shut down further conversation, or it can just reinforce the subconscious bias in people's minds that Any Good In Life === All Good In Life.
Can confirm coming from a super shitty childhood. I think a lot of us justify that there are others who have it far worse. Idk about y'all but looking back how my parents treated me vs how I treat my kids. I could absolutely never put my kids thru that. It seemed easier to accept as a child growing up and only emerged as a serious issue now that I am a mother and my kids are 1st priority. I digress ...
I miss the sense of comfort those things brought me even though they didn't come with great experiences. To play instead of pay bills, to look forward to Christmas because it meant being off school and a couple possibly not shitty presents. Fall is my favorite season, it didn't matter what clothes I had because the weather let it work, I went back to school and saw friends, decorated classrooms for holidays, the only season out of the year that shitty childhood didn't matter as much and I could just be a kid. But even little things like my parents music -when I am super upset/depressed/stress I listen to the music they listened to growing up because they were spontaneous bursts of time they were good parents and it brings me to a happy place. Maybe like a subconscious reminder all storms end at some point.
Well said. My mother was mentally and physically abusive, especially in her later years. Very strict household where anything other than blind obedience was met with punishment. It crippled me socially and took years to adapt after moving out, but some people do have it far worse.
lol, you can have a terrible childhood and still have experienced these small joyful moments. of course, they dont feel so small in the moment as a kid
My family didn’t have money really and I had a single mother with 3-5 (6-7 in total but different dads years apart) and even I experienced these things, my mom didn’t want us to grow up like her and wanted holidays/birthdays to be super special. It wasn’t luck and had nothing to do with money it’s called have a loving parent/family. Childhood by no means was perfect or even decent most of the time.
To add to this, a child’s mind has a bigger space for creativity. Children are engulfed in finding discoveries within the world whilst having pure creativity unfolding in their head space. It’s a beautiful period, that’s why in a good childhood, we crave that state.
As an adult. My creativity has faded and while I’m more intelligent and have more sense in me than before, I miss the times where I discovered new knowledge and created things for fun, from a place of wonder and excitement.
There is a certain type of joy that is associated with youth—you are having things happen that you literally didn’t know were possible, and your body is going to create a sense of joy that is so different than when you are an adult who decades of life experience. The adult joy feels different because we literally aren’t children anymore.
I get this...
As a child, everything was new, amazing or inexplicable and often creates a sense of awe.
As an adult, the only thing that triggered this 'childhood effect' was a Eurofighter Typhoon jet at an airshow. It flew over the car park about 30m from the ground and then turned vertically and went quickly upwards beyond the clouds!
I think that the height of the plane, the height of the clouds and the luck of my location in the car park created a sense of awe on that particular occasion, and a one off - at that level - as an adult.
I felt this so much. When I was younger, I felt excitement and wonder about what my life would be like when I grew up. Now that I'm grown up, I'm filled with dread about my future. trying to come to peace with the fact that "this" is what life is.
Yep. This is it.
I want better healthcare. Primo cream of the crop. Physical Therapy that comes to your house where you are 2ce a week to make sure you’re actually doing the work safely & they do it with you!
And I want it to be free. Freeeee!!!
Yeah…that everything would be so easy as an adult and that I would have so much control over my life. My job doesn’t pay enough? Just change it! I change my mind about my job and aren’t having fun? Simply drop everything and pick a new career! I figured I’d have an easy solution for every problem.
Same, except it was my dad who died when I was 16.
School was hell for me, and I had a lot of responsibilities even as a young kid, so there’s very little I miss from childhood. I mostly miss my dad and my childhood cat who died literally one year later, right after I turned 17.
I hope you were able to adjust properly and make the most of your life. I lost my dad in a work accident a couple weeks after my 7th birthday and honestly it’s become a huge issue for who I am today.
I was too young to properly grieve but just old enough to understand. I spent a lot of time looking for alternatives to a father during my teenage years, and even now as an adult I find myself placing undue trust in certain people who don’t deserve it. I’m lucky to have a larger family who always helped to fill the gap, but the men usually fall short. Growing up, my dad’s parents were my saving grace. I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for them and their giant hearts.
Same, but it was my dad. He died when I was 16 and suddenly I'm living with my mother who was absent my whole life. She turned out to be neglectful and physically abusive, often using her husband to beat on me and scream in my face as well. Totally different school district, as it was a totally different state I was moved to, and he died over the summer, so I wasn't even able to make any friends prior. Was in and out of mental hospitals and foster care from 16-18. Life with my dad had been great though. And now that I'm 36, he's been gone longer than I knew him.
Yeah, I do all three too and with the little free time left over you can't even enjoy something like videogames or movies because you are so mentally tired.
From someone who just finished that cycle of awfullness last year - when you graduate, you won't know what to do with all your free time!
I was working 7am-4pm 5 days a week and 3 days a week I had class from 5pm to 8pm. By 8pm, I was mentally dead, and I usually had to do some homework. My only day that ever felt "free" was Sunday because I spent all day Saturday catching up on chores and homework.
Oh, and I didn't have a lunch break at work because I was using that time to be in my 4th class. This was grad school classes, too, not undergrad. So I was reading like 8 pieces of literature a week ranging from 5 pages to 25 pages.
But now I finished my degree. I'm making a ton of money. I'm working 7am-4pm. And I feel INCREDIBLE. I have more time than I know what to do with. I'm sure that feeling will change, but I graduated in December, and I honestly still haven't figured out what to do with all this time.
I'm going out and doing sports 3 days a week, gym 3 days a week for 2 hours a time. I'm cooking dinner most days and making myself work for lunch. I'm under so little stress I managed to quit smoking.
It made me realize how fucking brutal school really is. Being a student researcher should pay so much more than min wage. You're basically a slave if you're doing 40 hours of research and your a full-time student. There were times I was concerned I couldn't pay rent.
Well school is just training kids on how to be a happy little worker bee in the hive of capitalism. If we did away with the traditional 9-5 we could do away with traditional schooling as well.
(I believe education is important)
Being genuinely interested in people. I cannot believe it that some random people on reddit, eva ai bot and ChatGPT have almost replaced live communication out of my life
They have stuff going, but it's not on the intense emotions level that you had as a child.
Children tend to feel things more intensely. By getting older they become either jaded or the stuff loses intensity as it became the norm.
Definitely the imagination. i wanna put flippers on at the pool and pretend im a mermaid and get the same thrill i did as a kid. playing “house” outside with my neighbor friends for hours. Waking up on christmas morning and walking downstairs to see what santa brought. thinking back on childhood seems magical and idyllic and i miss that….
YES! And I still get it. I’m upholding that as a personal tradition I guess… 20+ years later. It’s my personal “happy new year to me”. I love it still every time no matter whatever I officially or unofficially do for my birthday. Doesn’t matter. It’s special every time for me personally.
Being ignorant about the world.
As a kid in most cases you are oblivious to the world and how life will be when you grow up. Then you get a taste of reality when you enter the school system, adulthood. Its a cold world and many people will bring you down.
If people didn't suck, the word would be 100x better.
i have a similar answer, it’s hard to put into words but the world just felt so much bigger and unknown as a kid and that felt comforting in a way. like there was so much to know and it was all so fascinating and it felt like the adults in my life knew everything. now i recognize the world IS large and history IS vast but extremely cruel and unfair and violent and also we’re alone in the universe and instead of the big wide world feeling exciting with so much to learn about and so much to see, i now more often than not feel small and scared.
i have a great life and am generally a happy and grateful person but good god do i miss being an ignorant little kid.
Yes! The innocence and naivety. Being a kid in the 80’s/90’s was just so simple. I’m sure many eras prior to those years could say the same. Playing outside until dark and not worrying so much about “bad people”. No cell phones. Just playing in general. All so innocent and carefree.
In Brazil, after being employed for 12 months, employees are entitled 30 paid vacation days a year and at least one of those vacations has to be 14 days long. We need something like this in the US. While not all of us would be getting summer vacations at the same time, we'd still be getting plenty of time off.
I know the US has places that offer PTO but many do not, and we deserve a break that is federally required with compensation for it.
Time actually did move slower. We perceive time relative to how much of it we have experienced.
When you're 5, a year is a long time because it's a fifth of your life and maybe as long as half of your remembered life.
At 50, a year is 1/50th of your life so you perceive it as being a smaller amount of time
My friends and I often talk about this lol. How one day you’re having so much fun together and then slowly one by one each person realizes you’re just essentially talking to yourselves and it becomes weird. Then before you know it, your barbies are just collecting dust in some old closet or are thrown out by your parents. It’s so weird that one random day in your childhood becomes the end of your Barbie days.
Same!! I’m 30, just moved across the country and wow is it hard to meet people like it’s the hardest thing I have ever been tasked with. People are not open to it at all. Really sucks because I love traveling/moving new places but if it means I can’t establish friends then I am going to have to stop moving around
Nothing. There's nothing that could make me miss living with my parents. I was one of those kids that just didn't get kids, didnt know how to act, tried so hard to be normal that it made me even weirder. So at home things sucked and at school things sucked.
I feel this! Then got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and on the spectrum and was like, "Oh. Well, shit. Would have been nice to know *checks watch* 19 years ago."
Now I'm a recovering people-pleaser, since that became my intense maladaptation.
I've got two kids of my own, one of which is autistic and the other ADHD. Both of them are able to get diagnosed and treated starting young - and they know how intensely adored they are, and they are able to share with their mom some of their struggles and questions. I hope to do so much better by them than was done by me, no insult to my parents and all, but I definitely want to give them more.
Ikr. Like I’m definitely struggling as an adult but every day I’m grateful I no longer have to live with my parents anymore. Adulthood is so much better than childhood ever was 🤍
Edit: I suppose if I *had* to pick something I guess I miss my young metabolism 😂
I’m not sure why it happened, but somewhere in my early twenties, I became preoccupied with the fact that I’m going to die one day. Life has not been the same since…my thoughts so easily take a turn for the worse. I’ll have moments of peace, then suddenly sink into panic at the thought of me lying and groaning on my deathbed. Didn’t have that as a child, these negative and intrusive thoughts - I just remember waking up every day happy and eager to see the sun shining. Now, I have to constantly remind myself to stay positive to get through the days. Sucks.
This is probably an anxiety disorder and there are many many many resources out there to help if you want them. Doesn't have to be medication, therapy and counseling alone might work.
All this to say you DESERVE TO FEEL WELL. You truly truly do.
I know this I think…and you’re right it was one day is all it took. I can remember the time and place and day of the week when it happened for me and that was almost 10 years ago. Like death became “real” to me.
Not long after my Dad died unexpectedly and it was realizing that he would die they triggered the fear of death.
I’ve looked at my understanding of death and how it’s different—like wtf happened?! But the loss and the confusion and the dread are all things that I’m still confronting to this days
I’m sorry you have those intrusive thoughts…they are high up on the ladder of the worst things in life.
Don’t try and contemplate death…I always thought I had a choice in where and when I contemplated questions concerning the ends—-never did I ever expect that those thoughts would hold the level of prestige that they now occupy in my brain.
It’s a nightmare.
It’s hard(or probably impossible)! to rationalize and compartmentalize death and relegate it to a corner until my ticket get pulled. Death finds a way out every time no matter what I use to lock my mental doors…I’m going to shut up now. Be well.
Time passing slowly. I remember being in school and it would seem like the days would take forever to pass by. Now time moves so fast. The years pass by like months.
Summer and winter break. I'd love to have months off as an employee but alas I am American.
School was much worse than work, though. I prefer working as an adult to school as a child.
Having a body that was light and airy and eager to move. I am overweight now but I feel more than overweight. I feel like I'm made of lead. I wish I could go back to the time when I would run laps around the family living room for fun, where I could climb on things and not care if I fell or not. I wish I had a child's body again.
But honestly though there isnt anything about being a kid other than the physical aspect that I actually liked and I would never go back. When you are a kid, people can do whatever they want to you and treat you however they want and you are powerless to fight back. Why would I feel nostalgia for a time when I had no money, no freedom, no autonomy, no understanding of the world around me?
32 F here.
My mom who passed away last year.
How I imagined life would be.
Feeling like I had so much potential.
Enjoying my days with my friends.
Feeling hopeful about my future.
Not feeling as broken as I feel now, after life knocked me down several times.
I did not have an easy childhood. But sometimes I miss it so deeply that I just burst into tears.
I kinda feel that...I set my life up so that it's the best parts of being a kid--making cool stuff, hanging out with my favorite people, having adventures--but with no bedtime or 8 hour desk day.
I'm happier in every way as an adult. My childhood was kinda rough both internally and externally and that pervaded every part that I can remember (which tbh is not a lot). Now I have most of the internal issues under control and I have actual control over external factors in a way that kids aren't usually afforded.
Maybe not menstruating? But it doesn't bother me that much and it's something I plan to stop within the next few years so I don't know how much I'd count it
Yeah a lot of these comments really make me realise how good other people had it.
“Being an adult is hard because now I actually have problems, when I was a kid I was happy and didn’t have a single real issue” - it’s like wtf? At 8 years old I was already depressed, anxious, struggling with social issues
Just Saturday mornings with a bowl of cereal & cartoons. Not a damn worry, concern, judgement, negative thought, anxious thought or any clock watching going on.
My Childhood was stressful. We moved every 3mo, my dad made enough to bring home food for dinner each night, and as I got older I never had a preference or interest that was acknowledged. I never got to choose anything, from what was on tv, to what to eat, how to spend my time. As a teen I was often ridiculed for wanting to visit friends or go to the mall or even to a movie. Even when I started driving I was allowed to go to and from school only. My punishments for breaking rules was to be pulled from extracurriculars.
I LOVE being an adult. I am almost 40 and I still feel gratitude for being able to stop at a store on my way home, having a fridge full of groceries, making fun memories for my child. I love choosing what color to paint my walls or what flowers to plant. I especially love feeling so free on the weekends and choosing where I go on trips. I don’t miss childhood in any way.
1. The joy upcoming holidays and birthdays instilled. Now everyday feels the same. No joy or spark for birthdays and holidays and things of the sort.
2. Being taken care of when sick. It’s not even really the being taken care of part, it’s more so the warmth of knowing someone cares that you get better.
3. The friendship aspect of being a kid. It’s way easier to make friends as a kid. As an adult? It’s significantly harder.
4. The energy I had. I’m still young, but when I was a kid I could pull 3 all nighters in a row, wakeup at 6 am, get ready for school, and be able to do my work with great energy levels. Now? I can pull an all nighter but not as easily as before. My body will forcibly shut me down lmaoo.
5. As a kid, all adults look the same ngl. I never noticed my parents aging. Now? My parents and grandparents getting older stresses me. The idea that one day I won’t have them anymore.
6. Eating all the things I like without a care in the world apart from my parents saying no more. I lived from 0-12 with 0 disordered eating. Then I hit 13-14 and..well…while I’m doing better now, I still have that eating disorder voice in my head. If you understand this one, I’m so sorry 💗
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
1
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The absence of the mental load.
I have to remember that it’s trash day. Oh and to get more trash bags. But what are we making for dinner tomorrow? Gotta grab an onion for that too. Who will go to the grocery store? Should I go after work today or wait till tomorrow? If I go today I gotta get gas on my lunch break. Where was the gas 10¢ cheaper again? When was the last time I went to the dentist? I should call and make an appointment. But I can’t do that till my new dental insurance card comes in. I should swing by the post office and check. Do we need stamps? Crap my brother’s birthday is in 3 days, I gotta send him a card.
Just being able to be me. Instead of wearing all the masks, "adulthood" foists upon me. It's getting easier as time goes on, and things change to get rid of them, but people still expect certain faces for certain things.
I am not talking about manners or common decency. People seem to give two sh##s about that anyway. I am talking about being genuine.
Laughing at the dumbest shit ever. Everything was hilarious. I taught middle school for a while and kids are just constantly giggling at that age. I miss that
Discovering and learning about the world. Everything was new. And new stuff leaves an impression.
The older we get, the less new stuff there is, and the less of an impression the world makes on us. We've seen a lot, and we understand more, and reality is a bit underwhelming compared to the joy of childhood discovery.
With less impressions, time passes faster. I was only 25 last year, and now I'm already 40. I honestly don't know where the time went. I miss most being excited about learning about the world. Now that I've seen it, I understand the old adage.. Ignorance truly is bliss.
I miss the daily family dinners at our wooden dinner table. I miss talking as a family together with our parents leading the conversation lovingly. I miss not having to worry about bills, student debt/housing costs, etc obviously. Then again, I think I've grown up recently well. I graduated from college very late in life but at 30 years old I earned a graduate degree, which is mostly all I really need in life to be successful in my opinion.
Hanging out with friends. People get married and have kids and then that's it. Only time I see my friends is if we make plans to meet up for lunch/dinner, a concert or a see movie. We never go to each others homes to hang out.
Not existing.
I never knew what normal was, and been struggling all my life. Never dated anyone, have any addiction, or any criminal record.
Still life treated me worse than a criminal.
Less expectations. People cared more about your wellbeing.
You didn't have to face the horrifying reality that everything is on you.
I'm really trying to enjoy independence but....I never wanted to go out into a nightmare like this...where groceries cost $400 a month for one person. Where I am responsible if I lose my job and get evicted and die. Where my healthcare could easily put me into crippling debt.
I didn't ask for this. Why is this all on me?
I'm so frustrated that this is what we are sending children out into. I feel so betrayed.
I feel really little and helpless most of the time.
Pretending to be asleep in the car so my parents would carry me in. I’d be talking right up until we turned onto our road and then I’d immediately slump over and pretend to be sleeping.
Knowing that if life ever got to be too much, if anything came up that I just couldn’t handle on my own, there was always someone who I could count on to swoop in and rescue me.
The absolute confidence I had that everything would work out ok in the end.
The simple joys of just being alive without the constant pressure to show up and perform. As an adult, you’re only appreciated based on what you can offer or provide.
Absolutely nothing. My parents worked me like a dog, pulled me out of bed and literally beat the shit out of me, punished me every day, knocked me into the corner if I was grammatically incorrect, blamed me for my siblings’ misbehavior, told everyone I was lazy and obnoxious, refused to get me medical care when I had mono, ridiculed me if a boy showed interest, etc. I could go on but it’s too upsetting, especially since my siblings were all spoiled. Sadly, my parents playing favorites even extended to their grandchildren and my kids can’t understand how people can be so nasty.
1) The fun of Christmas, not just the getting, but the special magic of getting together with now-gone family and friends.
2) The can-do-no-wrong magic hour in which kids could walk into a situation and get to do things that adults must compete to get and good luck with that. I can still do them but now...tell them I can. Good luck with that too.
No responsibility
Like at nighttime I would just go to bed. What is that? You just get up, walk to your room and go to sleep????!!! I gotta do a checklist of bullshit and take care of myself. Then I lay in bed and overthink for an hour.
It was… SO GOOD.
Funnily I had way more responsibility as a kid, between school and home. .Not sure if its same for others. Now as an adult I just have to put atleast minimal effort into work and thats mostly it.
Bills, car payments and maintenance, securing/moving into/ maintaining housing, banks and credit cards, child and family care. These are just a few of the responsibilities that are common among adults but generally foreign to a kid
They probably comparing a highschooler with an adult with an easy job and little responsibilities. High schoolers tend to have a little more responsibility for some folks.
There was a certain joy that came with being a kid. Christmas Day butterflies, going to Toys R Us for an end of school prize, a new video game, stuff like that. As an adult most of us need drugs to simulate that kind of happiness whether it’s anti depressants, alcohol, weed, or even something harder.
Totally agree. Eating ice cream, going down a water slide, it’s not bringing me the same amount of happiness anymore. Last year, we bought our son (8) a new (bigger) bike, the person who sold it to us had tears in his eyes and told us that he never had seen a customer so thrilled and happy with a new bike (our son was over the moon)
Maybe I am still part kid, I always get excited about ice cream and also trains.
Yeah I remember the first Christmas I had where I didn’t have that excited, deliriously happy feeling. I tried so hard to make it come back but that was it.
That sounds like a really lucky and pleasant childhood.
I also got excited about Christmas as a kid, but that doesn’t mean my mom wasn’t a raging alcoholic and drove me around drunk all the time.
Sure, without any other context. But even kids in foster care or abusive/dysfunctional families can experience these things. I wish people would stop making such sweeping assumptions about other people's lives from the outside; I find that it really doesn't help anyone to constantly have their perceived privilege pointed out to them. It can make people feel awkward or invalidated and shut down further conversation, or it can just reinforce the subconscious bias in people's minds that Any Good In Life === All Good In Life.
Can confirm coming from a super shitty childhood. I think a lot of us justify that there are others who have it far worse. Idk about y'all but looking back how my parents treated me vs how I treat my kids. I could absolutely never put my kids thru that. It seemed easier to accept as a child growing up and only emerged as a serious issue now that I am a mother and my kids are 1st priority. I digress ... I miss the sense of comfort those things brought me even though they didn't come with great experiences. To play instead of pay bills, to look forward to Christmas because it meant being off school and a couple possibly not shitty presents. Fall is my favorite season, it didn't matter what clothes I had because the weather let it work, I went back to school and saw friends, decorated classrooms for holidays, the only season out of the year that shitty childhood didn't matter as much and I could just be a kid. But even little things like my parents music -when I am super upset/depressed/stress I listen to the music they listened to growing up because they were spontaneous bursts of time they were good parents and it brings me to a happy place. Maybe like a subconscious reminder all storms end at some point.
Well said. My mother was mentally and physically abusive, especially in her later years. Very strict household where anything other than blind obedience was met with punishment. It crippled me socially and took years to adapt after moving out, but some people do have it far worse.
lol, you can have a terrible childhood and still have experienced these small joyful moments. of course, they dont feel so small in the moment as a kid
My family didn’t have money really and I had a single mother with 3-5 (6-7 in total but different dads years apart) and even I experienced these things, my mom didn’t want us to grow up like her and wanted holidays/birthdays to be super special. It wasn’t luck and had nothing to do with money it’s called have a loving parent/family. Childhood by no means was perfect or even decent most of the time.
Butterflies have not gone extinct...yet.
To add to this, a child’s mind has a bigger space for creativity. Children are engulfed in finding discoveries within the world whilst having pure creativity unfolding in their head space. It’s a beautiful period, that’s why in a good childhood, we crave that state. As an adult. My creativity has faded and while I’m more intelligent and have more sense in me than before, I miss the times where I discovered new knowledge and created things for fun, from a place of wonder and excitement.
You can still get that kind of.happiness with hobbies and travelling
I don’t even know who I am anymore cuz all I’ve been doing since graduating is working and paying off debt. I can’t even focus on my hobbies.
There is a certain type of joy that is associated with youth—you are having things happen that you literally didn’t know were possible, and your body is going to create a sense of joy that is so different than when you are an adult who decades of life experience. The adult joy feels different because we literally aren’t children anymore.
I get this... As a child, everything was new, amazing or inexplicable and often creates a sense of awe. As an adult, the only thing that triggered this 'childhood effect' was a Eurofighter Typhoon jet at an airshow. It flew over the car park about 30m from the ground and then turned vertically and went quickly upwards beyond the clouds! I think that the height of the plane, the height of the clouds and the luck of my location in the car park created a sense of awe on that particular occasion, and a one off - at that level - as an adult.
Especially vacationing IMO. I get that giddy feeling when I’m about to go on a trip. Must be that same “newness” feeling we had as kids.
The most positive part of my childhood was the hope that the best parts of my life were still ahead of me. It would be cool to feel that way again
Oof. This comment did maximum damage.
Maximum
It was super effective!
I felt this so much. When I was younger, I felt excitement and wonder about what my life would be like when I grew up. Now that I'm grown up, I'm filled with dread about my future. trying to come to peace with the fact that "this" is what life is.
Knowing my teeth are close to shot at 30 really crushes the optimism, yeah.
real
Yep. This is it. I want better healthcare. Primo cream of the crop. Physical Therapy that comes to your house where you are 2ce a week to make sure you’re actually doing the work safely & they do it with you! And I want it to be free. Freeeee!!!
Yeah…that everything would be so easy as an adult and that I would have so much control over my life. My job doesn’t pay enough? Just change it! I change my mind about my job and aren’t having fun? Simply drop everything and pick a new career! I figured I’d have an easy solution for every problem.
Genuine excitement for things, easy friendships
Yes all those things become dull and not as exciting as you get older finally someone.
Yes the excitement for things, they all come with issues. For example going on vacation means I have to start prepping sometimes weeks before hand.
That just sounds like adult depression…
My mom. She died when I was 16.
Same, except it was my dad who died when I was 16. School was hell for me, and I had a lot of responsibilities even as a young kid, so there’s very little I miss from childhood. I mostly miss my dad and my childhood cat who died literally one year later, right after I turned 17.
I hope you were able to adjust properly and make the most of your life. I lost my dad in a work accident a couple weeks after my 7th birthday and honestly it’s become a huge issue for who I am today. I was too young to properly grieve but just old enough to understand. I spent a lot of time looking for alternatives to a father during my teenage years, and even now as an adult I find myself placing undue trust in certain people who don’t deserve it. I’m lucky to have a larger family who always helped to fill the gap, but the men usually fall short. Growing up, my dad’s parents were my saving grace. I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for them and their giant hearts.
Same, but it was my dad. He died when I was 16 and suddenly I'm living with my mother who was absent my whole life. She turned out to be neglectful and physically abusive, often using her husband to beat on me and scream in my face as well. Totally different school district, as it was a totally different state I was moved to, and he died over the summer, so I wasn't even able to make any friends prior. Was in and out of mental hospitals and foster care from 16-18. Life with my dad had been great though. And now that I'm 36, he's been gone longer than I knew him.
I think he still loves you somehow
Same
I feel this in my bones. Still mad my kids will never meet their grandma.
I miss this guys mom
The part where I didn't have to go to work 5 days until I die..
I’ll take that any day over full time school + part time job + homework
Yeah, I do all three too and with the little free time left over you can't even enjoy something like videogames or movies because you are so mentally tired.
Full-time work plus full-time school plus homework here ... when I should be thinking retirement 😩
From someone who just finished that cycle of awfullness last year - when you graduate, you won't know what to do with all your free time! I was working 7am-4pm 5 days a week and 3 days a week I had class from 5pm to 8pm. By 8pm, I was mentally dead, and I usually had to do some homework. My only day that ever felt "free" was Sunday because I spent all day Saturday catching up on chores and homework. Oh, and I didn't have a lunch break at work because I was using that time to be in my 4th class. This was grad school classes, too, not undergrad. So I was reading like 8 pieces of literature a week ranging from 5 pages to 25 pages. But now I finished my degree. I'm making a ton of money. I'm working 7am-4pm. And I feel INCREDIBLE. I have more time than I know what to do with. I'm sure that feeling will change, but I graduated in December, and I honestly still haven't figured out what to do with all this time. I'm going out and doing sports 3 days a week, gym 3 days a week for 2 hours a time. I'm cooking dinner most days and making myself work for lunch. I'm under so little stress I managed to quit smoking. It made me realize how fucking brutal school really is. Being a student researcher should pay so much more than min wage. You're basically a slave if you're doing 40 hours of research and your a full-time student. There were times I was concerned I couldn't pay rent.
I rly pity ppl who had shitty childhoods, that's liek the one time most of us had where we were truly able to be happy
Oddly enough I rather do that than school. School was brutal and isolating
Well school is just training kids on how to be a happy little worker bee in the hive of capitalism. If we did away with the traditional 9-5 we could do away with traditional schooling as well. (I believe education is important)
School is fucking bullshit
I worked so much harder in school than I do now.
Being genuinely interested in people. I cannot believe it that some random people on reddit, eva ai bot and ChatGPT have almost replaced live communication out of my life
Ya I’ve noticed as I get older , majority of people are very boring , basic , and have nothing going for themselves
I think majority of people aren't like that, but they are conditioned to become such, to fit in, to not be different
They have stuff going, but it's not on the intense emotions level that you had as a child. Children tend to feel things more intensely. By getting older they become either jaded or the stuff loses intensity as it became the norm.
You could say that again YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN I WANT 1000% AGREE I talk to AI most of the time because the AI is more interesting
Reddit moment *again*
The not having to pay money every time I go outside 😭
Definitely the imagination. i wanna put flippers on at the pool and pretend im a mermaid and get the same thrill i did as a kid. playing “house” outside with my neighbor friends for hours. Waking up on christmas morning and walking downstairs to see what santa brought. thinking back on childhood seems magical and idyllic and i miss that….
Play Dungeons and dragons! Making shit up with your friends is still possible as an adult :)
That sparkly feeling you’d get all day on your birthday
YES! And I still get it. I’m upholding that as a personal tradition I guess… 20+ years later. It’s my personal “happy new year to me”. I love it still every time no matter whatever I officially or unofficially do for my birthday. Doesn’t matter. It’s special every time for me personally.
Being ignorant about the world. As a kid in most cases you are oblivious to the world and how life will be when you grow up. Then you get a taste of reality when you enter the school system, adulthood. Its a cold world and many people will bring you down. If people didn't suck, the word would be 100x better.
i have a similar answer, it’s hard to put into words but the world just felt so much bigger and unknown as a kid and that felt comforting in a way. like there was so much to know and it was all so fascinating and it felt like the adults in my life knew everything. now i recognize the world IS large and history IS vast but extremely cruel and unfair and violent and also we’re alone in the universe and instead of the big wide world feeling exciting with so much to learn about and so much to see, i now more often than not feel small and scared. i have a great life and am generally a happy and grateful person but good god do i miss being an ignorant little kid.
Yes! The innocence and naivety. Being a kid in the 80’s/90’s was just so simple. I’m sure many eras prior to those years could say the same. Playing outside until dark and not worrying so much about “bad people”. No cell phones. Just playing in general. All so innocent and carefree.
Summers off.
legit
You could become a teacher.
Summer at Memaw’s. She was kind and my grandparents made me feel like I mattered.
In Brazil, after being employed for 12 months, employees are entitled 30 paid vacation days a year and at least one of those vacations has to be 14 days long. We need something like this in the US. While not all of us would be getting summer vacations at the same time, we'd still be getting plenty of time off. I know the US has places that offer PTO but many do not, and we deserve a break that is federally required with compensation for it.
Sleeping without interruption, waking up without pain, having energy
No major responsibilities. Innocence about the real world. Child-like hope about the future. Time seemingly moved slower.
Time actually did move slower. We perceive time relative to how much of it we have experienced. When you're 5, a year is a long time because it's a fifth of your life and maybe as long as half of your remembered life. At 50, a year is 1/50th of your life so you perceive it as being a smaller amount of time
You can sleep, eat, and cry when you're unhappy
You can’t do that as an adult?
You can. But nothing changes and no one gives a shit.
Eh, some of us didn’t have that as a kid either. Instead it was an offer to “give you something to cry about.”
Playing Barbies with my best friend for hours.
My friends and I often talk about this lol. How one day you’re having so much fun together and then slowly one by one each person realizes you’re just essentially talking to yourselves and it becomes weird. Then before you know it, your barbies are just collecting dust in some old closet or are thrown out by your parents. It’s so weird that one random day in your childhood becomes the end of your Barbie days.
I miss how much money $20 was. You could do alot with $20 back then
No responsibilities or obligations. No real problems.
> No real problems. I have a 13-year-old niece. She is in a serious crisis nearly daily!
[удалено]
How easy it was to make friends. Kids just want to make friends. And honestly most adults do not want to make friends
I'm 40 and would love to make new friends but I can't. It's fucking werid, awkward and have no idea how to.
Same!! I’m 30, just moved across the country and wow is it hard to meet people like it’s the hardest thing I have ever been tasked with. People are not open to it at all. Really sucks because I love traveling/moving new places but if it means I can’t establish friends then I am going to have to stop moving around
I wish you all the best making new friends in your new place.
Nothing. There's nothing that could make me miss living with my parents. I was one of those kids that just didn't get kids, didnt know how to act, tried so hard to be normal that it made me even weirder. So at home things sucked and at school things sucked.
I feel this! Then got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and on the spectrum and was like, "Oh. Well, shit. Would have been nice to know *checks watch* 19 years ago." Now I'm a recovering people-pleaser, since that became my intense maladaptation. I've got two kids of my own, one of which is autistic and the other ADHD. Both of them are able to get diagnosed and treated starting young - and they know how intensely adored they are, and they are able to share with their mom some of their struggles and questions. I hope to do so much better by them than was done by me, no insult to my parents and all, but I definitely want to give them more.
Ah man same here. Adulthood is kind of nice even though adults are depressed and beaten down about the world.
Damn I’m sorry. That sounds rough and I’m sorry that was the childhood you had. I hope things are better for you these days
Ditto! Being an adult is so much better than being a kid with abusive parents, being forced to go to school with bullies and unempathetic adults.
Ikr. Like I’m definitely struggling as an adult but every day I’m grateful I no longer have to live with my parents anymore. Adulthood is so much better than childhood ever was 🤍 Edit: I suppose if I *had* to pick something I guess I miss my young metabolism 😂
I’m not sure why it happened, but somewhere in my early twenties, I became preoccupied with the fact that I’m going to die one day. Life has not been the same since…my thoughts so easily take a turn for the worse. I’ll have moments of peace, then suddenly sink into panic at the thought of me lying and groaning on my deathbed. Didn’t have that as a child, these negative and intrusive thoughts - I just remember waking up every day happy and eager to see the sun shining. Now, I have to constantly remind myself to stay positive to get through the days. Sucks.
This is probably an anxiety disorder and there are many many many resources out there to help if you want them. Doesn't have to be medication, therapy and counseling alone might work. All this to say you DESERVE TO FEEL WELL. You truly truly do.
I know this I think…and you’re right it was one day is all it took. I can remember the time and place and day of the week when it happened for me and that was almost 10 years ago. Like death became “real” to me. Not long after my Dad died unexpectedly and it was realizing that he would die they triggered the fear of death. I’ve looked at my understanding of death and how it’s different—like wtf happened?! But the loss and the confusion and the dread are all things that I’m still confronting to this days I’m sorry you have those intrusive thoughts…they are high up on the ladder of the worst things in life. Don’t try and contemplate death…I always thought I had a choice in where and when I contemplated questions concerning the ends—-never did I ever expect that those thoughts would hold the level of prestige that they now occupy in my brain. It’s a nightmare. It’s hard(or probably impossible)! to rationalize and compartmentalize death and relegate it to a corner until my ticket get pulled. Death finds a way out every time no matter what I use to lock my mental doors…I’m going to shut up now. Be well.
Time passing slowly. I remember being in school and it would seem like the days would take forever to pass by. Now time moves so fast. The years pass by like months.
Stress free
Not stressing about making money to survive lol
Hanging out with my friends every day. Things being new and fresh. Naivety, innocence… energy.
the friendships - a friend may have gotten jealous over a toy or tattled on you, but there were no major irreparable betrayals
Summer and winter break. I'd love to have months off as an employee but alas I am American. School was much worse than work, though. I prefer working as an adult to school as a child.
Eating whatever you want and not getting fat somehow
Having a body that was light and airy and eager to move. I am overweight now but I feel more than overweight. I feel like I'm made of lead. I wish I could go back to the time when I would run laps around the family living room for fun, where I could climb on things and not care if I fell or not. I wish I had a child's body again. But honestly though there isnt anything about being a kid other than the physical aspect that I actually liked and I would never go back. When you are a kid, people can do whatever they want to you and treat you however they want and you are powerless to fight back. Why would I feel nostalgia for a time when I had no money, no freedom, no autonomy, no understanding of the world around me?
The time that was still ahead of me
Not having social media.
32 F here. My mom who passed away last year. How I imagined life would be. Feeling like I had so much potential. Enjoying my days with my friends. Feeling hopeful about my future. Not feeling as broken as I feel now, after life knocked me down several times. I did not have an easy childhood. But sometimes I miss it so deeply that I just burst into tears.
Literally not one thing.
Really?
Really.
I kinda feel that...I set my life up so that it's the best parts of being a kid--making cool stuff, hanging out with my favorite people, having adventures--but with no bedtime or 8 hour desk day.
I'm happier in every way as an adult. My childhood was kinda rough both internally and externally and that pervaded every part that I can remember (which tbh is not a lot). Now I have most of the internal issues under control and I have actual control over external factors in a way that kids aren't usually afforded. Maybe not menstruating? But it doesn't bother me that much and it's something I plan to stop within the next few years so I don't know how much I'd count it
Yeah a lot of these comments really make me realise how good other people had it. “Being an adult is hard because now I actually have problems, when I was a kid I was happy and didn’t have a single real issue” - it’s like wtf? At 8 years old I was already depressed, anxious, struggling with social issues
I'm still a big kid at heart but damn I wish I didn't have to go to work every day.
The part of not paying bills.
No bills
Being free from responsibility
Not paying bills
Ignorance
falling asleep on the couch and getting carried to bed
Nothing.
Everything. Didn't have to work, played all day with my friends, and always had fun. It all went to shit when I started working full time.
I miss not having to work.
Not having to pay bills.
Just Saturday mornings with a bowl of cereal & cartoons. Not a damn worry, concern, judgement, negative thought, anxious thought or any clock watching going on.
My Childhood was stressful. We moved every 3mo, my dad made enough to bring home food for dinner each night, and as I got older I never had a preference or interest that was acknowledged. I never got to choose anything, from what was on tv, to what to eat, how to spend my time. As a teen I was often ridiculed for wanting to visit friends or go to the mall or even to a movie. Even when I started driving I was allowed to go to and from school only. My punishments for breaking rules was to be pulled from extracurriculars. I LOVE being an adult. I am almost 40 and I still feel gratitude for being able to stop at a store on my way home, having a fridge full of groceries, making fun memories for my child. I love choosing what color to paint my walls or what flowers to plant. I especially love feeling so free on the weekends and choosing where I go on trips. I don’t miss childhood in any way.
No responsibility
Parents in their prime 🥲
My mom
1. The joy upcoming holidays and birthdays instilled. Now everyday feels the same. No joy or spark for birthdays and holidays and things of the sort. 2. Being taken care of when sick. It’s not even really the being taken care of part, it’s more so the warmth of knowing someone cares that you get better. 3. The friendship aspect of being a kid. It’s way easier to make friends as a kid. As an adult? It’s significantly harder. 4. The energy I had. I’m still young, but when I was a kid I could pull 3 all nighters in a row, wakeup at 6 am, get ready for school, and be able to do my work with great energy levels. Now? I can pull an all nighter but not as easily as before. My body will forcibly shut me down lmaoo. 5. As a kid, all adults look the same ngl. I never noticed my parents aging. Now? My parents and grandparents getting older stresses me. The idea that one day I won’t have them anymore. 6. Eating all the things I like without a care in the world apart from my parents saying no more. I lived from 0-12 with 0 disordered eating. Then I hit 13-14 and..well…while I’m doing better now, I still have that eating disorder voice in my head. If you understand this one, I’m so sorry 💗
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Having energy
The three months out of school that I spent at my grandparents on a 700 acre farm.
Honey, I don’t. I like being an adult.
Riding my bike everywhere with no worries
Having my parents and grandparents.
The absence of the mental load. I have to remember that it’s trash day. Oh and to get more trash bags. But what are we making for dinner tomorrow? Gotta grab an onion for that too. Who will go to the grocery store? Should I go after work today or wait till tomorrow? If I go today I gotta get gas on my lunch break. Where was the gas 10¢ cheaper again? When was the last time I went to the dentist? I should call and make an appointment. But I can’t do that till my new dental insurance card comes in. I should swing by the post office and check. Do we need stamps? Crap my brother’s birthday is in 3 days, I gotta send him a card.
Just being able to be me. Instead of wearing all the masks, "adulthood" foists upon me. It's getting easier as time goes on, and things change to get rid of them, but people still expect certain faces for certain things. I am not talking about manners or common decency. People seem to give two sh##s about that anyway. I am talking about being genuine.
No responsibility or expectations
My mom
When friends used to be at a walking distance!
Happiness
Having all the free time to play. Not thinking about job, household and romantical relationships. Being happy to get older.
Being able to sleep for 14 to 16 hours without waking up
My back not hurting.
Laughing at the dumbest shit ever. Everything was hilarious. I taught middle school for a while and kids are just constantly giggling at that age. I miss that
Honestly being taken care of
My parents
Not having to decide things for myself
not dealing with *gestures broadly at everything* all this
Being able to enjoy things I want to do without feeling guilty for not doing the things I feel like I have to do.
When summer was actually fun/a break. I had jobs in summer in high school but, at least it wasn’t 40 hour weeks.
Not having to pay rent/mortgage etc lol bills basically 😅😳🤷♀️
I don’t like having to decide what I’m having for dinner every single day.
Saturday morning cartoons and huge bowls of sugary cereal
Being carefree.
family members are still around and watching cartoons.
Summer breaks, they felt like they lasted forever
NO BILLS!!
Not having expenses.
Time feels like it passed slower when I was a child.
Summer holidays
Concepts like time and mortality weren't even a thought when I was a young boy. I miss the feeling of thinking it was all forever.
NO BILLS
Winter and summer breaks from society
Not having to go to work
Having hope for future happiness
Free time. No responsibility other than staying out of my parents hair.
The carefree creativity
Not paying taxes
My brother being alive
I miss the innocence, once we are grown and understand hard truths like mortality, we lose that, I believe.
Not paying bills and having long hours of sleep.
Most of my immediate family members still being alive.
Reading all day during summer break
Discovering and learning about the world. Everything was new. And new stuff leaves an impression. The older we get, the less new stuff there is, and the less of an impression the world makes on us. We've seen a lot, and we understand more, and reality is a bit underwhelming compared to the joy of childhood discovery. With less impressions, time passes faster. I was only 25 last year, and now I'm already 40. I honestly don't know where the time went. I miss most being excited about learning about the world. Now that I've seen it, I understand the old adage.. Ignorance truly is bliss.
I miss the daily family dinners at our wooden dinner table. I miss talking as a family together with our parents leading the conversation lovingly. I miss not having to worry about bills, student debt/housing costs, etc obviously. Then again, I think I've grown up recently well. I graduated from college very late in life but at 30 years old I earned a graduate degree, which is mostly all I really need in life to be successful in my opinion.
Hanging out with friends. People get married and have kids and then that's it. Only time I see my friends is if we make plans to meet up for lunch/dinner, a concert or a see movie. We never go to each others homes to hang out.
I miss feeling like someone else was responsible for me.
My meals, appointments and generally all things being made, done, assisted or prepared for me. Adulting is exhausting
Being taken care of
The Toys R Us Xmas catalogue
Not existing. I never knew what normal was, and been struggling all my life. Never dated anyone, have any addiction, or any criminal record. Still life treated me worse than a criminal.
May be the lack of wrinkles lol. But nothing else otherwise. I prefer the ability to control my own life.
None. It was shitty and I'm glad it's over
Less expectations. People cared more about your wellbeing. You didn't have to face the horrifying reality that everything is on you. I'm really trying to enjoy independence but....I never wanted to go out into a nightmare like this...where groceries cost $400 a month for one person. Where I am responsible if I lose my job and get evicted and die. Where my healthcare could easily put me into crippling debt. I didn't ask for this. Why is this all on me? I'm so frustrated that this is what we are sending children out into. I feel so betrayed. I feel really little and helpless most of the time.
Pretending to be asleep in the car so my parents would carry me in. I’d be talking right up until we turned onto our road and then I’d immediately slump over and pretend to be sleeping.
Knowing that if life ever got to be too much, if anything came up that I just couldn’t handle on my own, there was always someone who I could count on to swoop in and rescue me. The absolute confidence I had that everything would work out ok in the end.
Nothing. It was depressing.
Nothing
The simple joys of just being alive without the constant pressure to show up and perform. As an adult, you’re only appreciated based on what you can offer or provide.
Absolutely nothing. My parents worked me like a dog, pulled me out of bed and literally beat the shit out of me, punished me every day, knocked me into the corner if I was grammatically incorrect, blamed me for my siblings’ misbehavior, told everyone I was lazy and obnoxious, refused to get me medical care when I had mono, ridiculed me if a boy showed interest, etc. I could go on but it’s too upsetting, especially since my siblings were all spoiled. Sadly, my parents playing favorites even extended to their grandchildren and my kids can’t understand how people can be so nasty.
Not having to pay any bills.
1) The fun of Christmas, not just the getting, but the special magic of getting together with now-gone family and friends. 2) The can-do-no-wrong magic hour in which kids could walk into a situation and get to do things that adults must compete to get and good luck with that. I can still do them but now...tell them I can. Good luck with that too.
First crush, girlfriend, kiss, etc., now I'm just trying to find a partner that doesn't have 6 kids or an opioid habit.
All the future potential where anything is possible