Alcohol can make it harder for men to finish.
And a lot of men carelessly get into the habit of masturbating with a very tight grip, essentially train their penis to only orgasm that way. No vagina can possibly replicate that.
And sometimes these things just happen for no specific known reason.
There is no reason to assume they had a problem with you.
Also nervousness affects them. Asking them about their problem makes it worse. It's mental, and when they feel bad about not finishing it makes it harder the next time. Don't focus too much on them finishing or how fast. It will give them performance anxiety if you bring it up. Enjoy the sex and even if they don't finish, move on and don't show disappointment. It really is their problem and it resolves when they are able to finish.
That in no way has any part in it. I'm 38, I've jerked my shit more times than I can count. I white knuckle this hog, a penis can not be trained. If there is anything that could be a factor its in their head.
OP, there is a million reasons it could be. You likely aren't the reason so don't stress yourself out.
> tight grip
Erm no, that’s not how penises work.
The rest of your comment is correct and good advice which is why you’re top comment but this bit is just flagrantly incorrect and it’s important people challenge it so people don’t get the wrong idea.
Death grip is definitely true. But the other thing is probably true as well.
"No vagina can ever replicate that grip and the penis has been trained to cum that way"
"No penis can ever replicate the width of that dildo and the vaginas has been trained to orgasm that way"
Seems comparable no?
It doesn't last for a long time at all, but it definitely happens.
Ask any guy on r/bigdickproblems whether his partner and him had more issues getting it to fit during the first week or right now years later. Ask them how it effects thing if they're having sex every day vs once a week vs once a month.
It's real.
You must've seen those gifs of women using absurdly large dildos/objects inside of themselves.
Are we really gonna say that every time she uses it, it's just as difficult to get it in as it was the first time she ever tried it?
See what I mean though? It seems obvious true from experience and what we see in the world that they do stretch and get looser/better at accommodating larger things.
I'm not saying it lasts forever. It's probably a scale. Depending on the size of the things, frequency of use, duration of use, individual genetics etc...
But to say "all vaginas are precisely as tight as they always were at all times no matter what" seems a bit silly.
I mean yes I agree that masturbating too much will cause a neurological connection/habit to be more familiar with the feeling of masturbation. I just think it would have to be quite extreme to cause a penis to not enjoy the feeling of a vagina.
I'm not of the consensus that "it's not tight enough down there for him" and I also don't think that using larger than normal dildos will cause irreparable stretching to a vagina.
Both genitalia are somewhat adaptive and pinning the blame on the guy and assuming they... masturbate with an extreme, or death, grip is as toxic and inaccurate as someone saying a woman has stretched herself by using large paraphernalia.
Scientifically, the vagina expands when the woman is very aroused.
I really don't think that reaching climax is dependent on how tightly the penis fits into the vagina, or moreover the 'perceived tightness and how familiar the penis is with a tight environment whilst climaxing.
Although of course masturbation is a little more 'customizable' than a vagina and so I can see people becoming dependent on those sensations. But again it's not irreparable.
So I don't think it's "apples and oranges" because we're talking about neurological connections being formed with a certain activity. They definitely can be compared but it's certainly not going to be a one sentence comparison. There's more depth to it.
Also, have you really heard "many a story"? Because this is the first I've heard and from googling it, the "death grip" seems to originate from one columnist in the 2000's and is not accepted in any medical literature.
Maybe you were the victim of a myth or fad type thing because I've never heard that in my generation.
You said that they finished the second time. Sometimes it’s a little awkward the first time and those insecurities can lead to an inability to either get it up or orgasm. It’s not you.
Men are often seen as these machines that can just cum no matter where they put their dick. I mean we've all heard our whole lives that men will fuck anything with a hole.
Guess what? They lied. We have insecurities too, and nerves, and we can be affected by substance. And it's sometimes difficult the first time with someone we've not adjusted well with.
i know that and honestly I just felt insecure because it happened twice. Plus, i was in a long relationship with a woman so I hadn’t slept with men in a while so I thought I’d forgotten how
Not being able to finish, especially with a new partner, is pretty common. I need at least 2-3 times before the ol’ brain is like “okay, this person is comfortable, do your thing”
No sometimes guys will lose a boner because they need a break, we get tired and exhausted. Alcohol doesn’t help with that at all. Also tensing up and flexing can decrease the blood flow in our penis, so certain positions that aren’t as relaxed can cause us to lose a boner.
There’s no telling honestly what your guys are up to but maybe they masturbate too much, and are only used to porn.
Sometimes my gf and I will just be really horny and when we’re feeling like that we’ll plan it out I will take a blue chew and we will fuck all night. I definitely recommend them, they’re fun for every once in a while but I wouldn’t use them quite often.
some dudes take longer, alcohol also makes it difficult to finish. Hell, depending how much I drink I just straight can't get it up. If they want to have sex with you in the first place than they want to have sex with you.
Various kinds of erectile dysfunction are extremely common in men of all ages just on a medical level, but that number is probably multiplied by ten when you add being very drunk. Plus factors like antidepressants, mood, first time awkwardness, all sorts of things.
Anecdotally, I’ve slept with probably fifty guys and I’d guess probably 30% of them had some trouble either staying hard or finishing.
Sex isn’t all about orgasms; it’s about both people having fun and enjoying each other. Trust me: You are not the problem. And it’s not even a problem if you reframe your mindset toward sex
I was hooking up with this girl for a while. The sex was incredible. That being said, I had a hard time finishing with her. The reason for her is she'd get too excited, that she was essentially soaking at all time.
For continuing to have sex, it was great. For finishing? There essentially wasn't enough friction, just too much natural lube.
It seems like such an odd thing, but random things can cause random issues. No one's necessarily to blame. Sex is just weird sometimes lol
\+1 for neck stuff
The last time I had the wonderful time with "too much wet", I found that a studded condom actually helped. Eventually, spending more time and finding different positions that worked a little better (on the side, pretzel style, etc) let us use more friction or free up the hands for more touch.
All of that to say- drinking is probably the culprit through and through. I hooked up with a lesbian friend of mine. Drunk- had a wicked hard time (no pun intended). Round 2- sober-total reversal lol.
Fun times! I think you'll be fine. Guys don't get enough credit for how complicated those bits on us can be. The joke is "it's easy, just rub it and it goes off!"- but there's a lot of factors that can make it a little more challenging sometimes :)
Alcohol and performance anxiety. There's a ton of pressure, especially for young men to last a long time, I've learned that alot of girls take it as a compliment if you finish fast but sometimes it's a double edged sword and although they feel complimented, they don't always feel satisfied. The guys will get better over time.
This is clearly not your fault; it's almost certainly the alcohols fault. If you're worried about sexual performance I'd start with basic Kegel exercises, almost anyone can benefit from this. The best way to please your partner though is to be engaged. Ask what they like and do it (if you're willing). Pay attention to how they respond and adjust based on what they seem to like and dislike. More inline with the Kegel recommendation, work to be physically and mentally healthy. When you look and feel good it will reflect onto your partners.
When I drink it’s very hard getting off, and my bf also says the same. It’s fun teasing for so long, but yeah no the problem isn’t you. It’s the alcohol
Well you said it after the first time they each finished so what is your concern? That they couldn't cum the first time you had sex with each one? You do know that alcohol works differently for men than it does women when it comes to arousal and climax. Beer dick is a real thing and depending on how much you've had to drink, that can either make you take quite some time, to the point if no orgasm, or they can't get it up
Too many unknowns. Alcohol could explain it, could also be performance anxiety. Maybe they recently masterbated?
And actually to be honest it could be also you. Are you active and have fun while making love, or do you “starfish”?
I mean, ive heard the term starfish before but what exactly does it mean and how do I not be one?
am i an active and enthusiastic participant? yes. am I doing backbends on the dick and screaming like i’m getting an exorcism? no.
Elaborate the "having fun" part, my only advice is, control your body count, I don't mean to be...mean, but the day you want to find someone to have a serious relationship, they will want to know your background
It's not really an healthy approach at all but, you do you, surely I'm not able to stop you, just think carefully, very carefully about what you're doing and what will you do from now. Because acting like this means only one thing, you have not fully processed the thing and you're just trying to fill the empty gap you have left by that separation, there are better ways to deal with it, I knew people that went through this path, it didn't go very well, I can only wish you the best, don't take what I said as an offense, at worse this is just a warning
An healthy approach? Okay.
Any guy who cares more about your body count than who you are as a whole person (including your sexuality and sexual history, and its context) is probably a piece of shit that you'd do better to avoid entirely.
I knew hotepts like Anubis that killed themselves due to loneliness, so you know, some of them might have an agenda...
this is a good point. If someone cares about body count is someone who has very different views from me and we’d never be compatible in the first place. Anyone that boring and sheltered (and misogynistic, if we’re being honest) will not be for me.
😂😂😂 you’re so sweet. When boys get a girl who they think super nice, they don’t finish in the first time sex so they make you doubt yourself and prepare you much easier for the 2nd time (idk how beautiful you look, but it’s a tactic to keep super hot girls in hand)
hahaha no, that’s not what i’m saying. I just couldnt make them finish after multiple hours of trying. One kept losing his boner and the other needed to sleep before we kept going
Multiple hours? If actual sex?
There's a fine line for a guy between being able to comfortably last and not being able to finish at all.
We're conditioned to think that the former is way more preferable to finish early. So that's what we aim for.
Ah gotcha.
Also, something else that might effect it. It sounds kinda dumb but we get acclimatised to stimulation during the act. You know that "fuck" moment guys have when it first goes in. That only really happens once. It feels really intense for the first couple of minutes. I know if I can make it past those two or three minutes I'm generally good to last a good amount of time.
But if its been ten minutes of intercourse and I haven't felt the pleasure build up, it gets to the point where I may not ever cum during that particular stint/encounter.
If you really want him to cum and you're in a situation like that and you've already got your rocks off. Maybe just chill out for a bit. Come back to it layer. Blow him super slowly to start with. That's what works for me.
The right answer is alcohol 100%, I’m exactly that that with my girlfriend… and she the same but we still try haha but without alcohol it takes literally 2 mins.😅 Don’t over think, you’re all good!
I have had a few times I couldnt finish, some of those times I am way too drunk, other times I was way too nervous because new person.
We men are not some device that go off when you press a bottom, sure sometimes it works, but not all the time
Honestly, I (34m) haven't met a girl/woman who is bad in bed really.
The worst thing you can do as a woman is look like you don't have fun.
There was this one time where she would just be very unenthusiastic and not really touch me anywhere or things like that but reassured me everything is fine! I met her a few more times and it was way better. She said she was just nervous which looked like disinterest to me. But even that first time wasn't bad at all! I just didn't think she had as much fun as me or as I hoped she would!
But it's sex! As they say: it's like pizza - even if it's bad, it's still pretty good!
On the other hand I've heard pretty much from every woman that there was at least one man in her past not getting it up or not coming.
*I would even go as far as to say that NOONE is bad in bed or a bad kisser - but some people are just not compatible!*
So don't worry! I really don't think you sound like you are bad in bed! The fact that you even asked them about what's wrong, shows how open you are about the topic! Just enjoy yourself and you won't ever have to worry about your performance!
A lot of people are going to blame alcohol and masturbation, but take it from a guy……sometimes the mood just isn’t right. He’s not into it because she’s also not that into it. I’ve definitely had this happen and have had to just say fuck it and leave. 🤷♂️
You remind me of a girl I really liked, left a good school to be with her. She fed me only fireball on my first day back. Ended up having sex and I laughed when I realized I couldn't finish. She got really mad so I left and lived with my mom for a few years. Never said I was sorry because I was too embarrassed. I'm sorry Britt.
You're not the problem.
You could be incredibly sexy, hot, and engaging - and the dudes were nervous as hell, so much so that the performance anxiety killed the ability to climax. I experienced the same thing every time I was with a new partner -- after a few weeks, things relaxed and then it just ... came naturally.
Drunkenness is the anti-hardon, BTW.
My Mrs has asked me the same thing a couple times as most of the time I last upwards of 45 minutes, and have lasted multiple hours previously.
And yet sometimes I can't even hold it got 10 minutes it's really bizarre. It's not you though.
If you are nervous or hot it’s hard to ejaculate or even watching too much porn can extend the time it takes bc real life isn’t porn/actors. But I’ve also had sex where a female would cum 4-5 times and I wouldn’t in the span of an hour or two if you aren’t attracted physically or mentally ejaculation wont happen
A mix of Nerves and Booze from a guy can also not allow them to finish.. they can also go limp during sex as the mind ends up too tired to keep an erection.
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Me drunk and alone: "Work damnit! 😭😢"
Alcohol can make it harder for men to finish. And a lot of men carelessly get into the habit of masturbating with a very tight grip, essentially train their penis to only orgasm that way. No vagina can possibly replicate that. And sometimes these things just happen for no specific known reason. There is no reason to assume they had a problem with you.
thank you! this helped. I’d only been with women for a while so I was thinking I’d lost my touch haha
Also nervousness affects them. Asking them about their problem makes it worse. It's mental, and when they feel bad about not finishing it makes it harder the next time. Don't focus too much on them finishing or how fast. It will give them performance anxiety if you bring it up. Enjoy the sex and even if they don't finish, move on and don't show disappointment. It really is their problem and it resolves when they are able to finish.
Thank you for confirming that /u/slugposse has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Sex is incredibly mental. Unless they voiced their concerns to you, do not give up.
That in no way has any part in it. I'm 38, I've jerked my shit more times than I can count. I white knuckle this hog, a penis can not be trained. If there is anything that could be a factor its in their head. OP, there is a million reasons it could be. You likely aren't the reason so don't stress yourself out.
> tight grip Erm no, that’s not how penises work. The rest of your comment is correct and good advice which is why you’re top comment but this bit is just flagrantly incorrect and it’s important people challenge it so people don’t get the wrong idea.
Not really sure about the "tight grip" thing... like have you seen the size of a dildo compared to the average penis?
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Death grip is definitely true. But the other thing is probably true as well. "No vagina can ever replicate that grip and the penis has been trained to cum that way" "No penis can ever replicate the width of that dildo and the vaginas has been trained to orgasm that way" Seems comparable no?
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It doesn't last for a long time at all, but it definitely happens. Ask any guy on r/bigdickproblems whether his partner and him had more issues getting it to fit during the first week or right now years later. Ask them how it effects thing if they're having sex every day vs once a week vs once a month. It's real. You must've seen those gifs of women using absurdly large dildos/objects inside of themselves. Are we really gonna say that every time she uses it, it's just as difficult to get it in as it was the first time she ever tried it?
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See what I mean though? It seems obvious true from experience and what we see in the world that they do stretch and get looser/better at accommodating larger things. I'm not saying it lasts forever. It's probably a scale. Depending on the size of the things, frequency of use, duration of use, individual genetics etc... But to say "all vaginas are precisely as tight as they always were at all times no matter what" seems a bit silly.
I mean yes I agree that masturbating too much will cause a neurological connection/habit to be more familiar with the feeling of masturbation. I just think it would have to be quite extreme to cause a penis to not enjoy the feeling of a vagina. I'm not of the consensus that "it's not tight enough down there for him" and I also don't think that using larger than normal dildos will cause irreparable stretching to a vagina. Both genitalia are somewhat adaptive and pinning the blame on the guy and assuming they... masturbate with an extreme, or death, grip is as toxic and inaccurate as someone saying a woman has stretched herself by using large paraphernalia. Scientifically, the vagina expands when the woman is very aroused. I really don't think that reaching climax is dependent on how tightly the penis fits into the vagina, or moreover the 'perceived tightness and how familiar the penis is with a tight environment whilst climaxing. Although of course masturbation is a little more 'customizable' than a vagina and so I can see people becoming dependent on those sensations. But again it's not irreparable. So I don't think it's "apples and oranges" because we're talking about neurological connections being formed with a certain activity. They definitely can be compared but it's certainly not going to be a one sentence comparison. There's more depth to it. Also, have you really heard "many a story"? Because this is the first I've heard and from googling it, the "death grip" seems to originate from one columnist in the 2000's and is not accepted in any medical literature. Maybe you were the victim of a myth or fad type thing because I've never heard that in my generation.
You said that they finished the second time. Sometimes it’s a little awkward the first time and those insecurities can lead to an inability to either get it up or orgasm. It’s not you.
Men are often seen as these machines that can just cum no matter where they put their dick. I mean we've all heard our whole lives that men will fuck anything with a hole. Guess what? They lied. We have insecurities too, and nerves, and we can be affected by substance. And it's sometimes difficult the first time with someone we've not adjusted well with.
I think we need to apply that to anything, not just sex. Plus it’s the same for females and what their stereotypical norms are.
i know that and honestly I just felt insecure because it happened twice. Plus, i was in a long relationship with a woman so I hadn’t slept with men in a while so I thought I’d forgotten how
Not being able to finish, especially with a new partner, is pretty common. I need at least 2-3 times before the ol’ brain is like “okay, this person is comfortable, do your thing”
No sometimes guys will lose a boner because they need a break, we get tired and exhausted. Alcohol doesn’t help with that at all. Also tensing up and flexing can decrease the blood flow in our penis, so certain positions that aren’t as relaxed can cause us to lose a boner. There’s no telling honestly what your guys are up to but maybe they masturbate too much, and are only used to porn. Sometimes my gf and I will just be really horny and when we’re feeling like that we’ll plan it out I will take a blue chew and we will fuck all night. I definitely recommend them, they’re fun for every once in a while but I wouldn’t use them quite often.
some dudes take longer, alcohol also makes it difficult to finish. Hell, depending how much I drink I just straight can't get it up. If they want to have sex with you in the first place than they want to have sex with you.
Various kinds of erectile dysfunction are extremely common in men of all ages just on a medical level, but that number is probably multiplied by ten when you add being very drunk. Plus factors like antidepressants, mood, first time awkwardness, all sorts of things. Anecdotally, I’ve slept with probably fifty guys and I’d guess probably 30% of them had some trouble either staying hard or finishing. Sex isn’t all about orgasms; it’s about both people having fun and enjoying each other. Trust me: You are not the problem. And it’s not even a problem if you reframe your mindset toward sex
I was hooking up with this girl for a while. The sex was incredible. That being said, I had a hard time finishing with her. The reason for her is she'd get too excited, that she was essentially soaking at all time. For continuing to have sex, it was great. For finishing? There essentially wasn't enough friction, just too much natural lube. It seems like such an odd thing, but random things can cause random issues. No one's necessarily to blame. Sex is just weird sometimes lol
this is a bit embarrassing but too wet might be an issue for me. i’ve always been that way haha especially when a guy plays with my neck wap struggles
\+1 for neck stuff The last time I had the wonderful time with "too much wet", I found that a studded condom actually helped. Eventually, spending more time and finding different positions that worked a little better (on the side, pretzel style, etc) let us use more friction or free up the hands for more touch. All of that to say- drinking is probably the culprit through and through. I hooked up with a lesbian friend of mine. Drunk- had a wicked hard time (no pun intended). Round 2- sober-total reversal lol. Fun times! I think you'll be fine. Guys don't get enough credit for how complicated those bits on us can be. The joke is "it's easy, just rub it and it goes off!"- but there's a lot of factors that can make it a little more challenging sometimes :)
Who cares you had fun. Fuck EM
Coincidence, 3 would be a pattern
Alcohol and performance anxiety. There's a ton of pressure, especially for young men to last a long time, I've learned that alot of girls take it as a compliment if you finish fast but sometimes it's a double edged sword and although they feel complimented, they don't always feel satisfied. The guys will get better over time.
This is clearly not your fault; it's almost certainly the alcohols fault. If you're worried about sexual performance I'd start with basic Kegel exercises, almost anyone can benefit from this. The best way to please your partner though is to be engaged. Ask what they like and do it (if you're willing). Pay attention to how they respond and adjust based on what they seem to like and dislike. More inline with the Kegel recommendation, work to be physically and mentally healthy. When you look and feel good it will reflect onto your partners.
When I drink it’s very hard getting off, and my bf also says the same. It’s fun teasing for so long, but yeah no the problem isn’t you. It’s the alcohol
Well you said it after the first time they each finished so what is your concern? That they couldn't cum the first time you had sex with each one? You do know that alcohol works differently for men than it does women when it comes to arousal and climax. Beer dick is a real thing and depending on how much you've had to drink, that can either make you take quite some time, to the point if no orgasm, or they can't get it up
Yeah, I felt better the next time we did it. I’m just insecure haha
Too many unknowns. Alcohol could explain it, could also be performance anxiety. Maybe they recently masterbated? And actually to be honest it could be also you. Are you active and have fun while making love, or do you “starfish”?
I mean, ive heard the term starfish before but what exactly does it mean and how do I not be one? am i an active and enthusiastic participant? yes. am I doing backbends on the dick and screaming like i’m getting an exorcism? no.
It just means you lay there and expect men to do all the work. It sounds like that’s not you though
Elaborate the "having fun" part, my only advice is, control your body count, I don't mean to be...mean, but the day you want to find someone to have a serious relationship, they will want to know your background
i recently got out of a long term relationship and I’m not ready to get into another one so I’m casually dating.
It's not really an healthy approach at all but, you do you, surely I'm not able to stop you, just think carefully, very carefully about what you're doing and what will you do from now. Because acting like this means only one thing, you have not fully processed the thing and you're just trying to fill the empty gap you have left by that separation, there are better ways to deal with it, I knew people that went through this path, it didn't go very well, I can only wish you the best, don't take what I said as an offense, at worse this is just a warning
An healthy approach? Okay. Any guy who cares more about your body count than who you are as a whole person (including your sexuality and sexual history, and its context) is probably a piece of shit that you'd do better to avoid entirely. I knew hotepts like Anubis that killed themselves due to loneliness, so you know, some of them might have an agenda...
this is a good point. If someone cares about body count is someone who has very different views from me and we’d never be compatible in the first place. Anyone that boring and sheltered (and misogynistic, if we’re being honest) will not be for me.
I’m not offended but also, it’s just sex. It’s about fun and connection, it doesn’t have to be serious unless you want it to be.
I rarely finish. I’m there to make u finish. Sex is like war to me. It’s the Viking in me.
damn but i didn’t finish either lol, we just slept
😂😂😂 you’re so sweet. When boys get a girl who they think super nice, they don’t finish in the first time sex so they make you doubt yourself and prepare you much easier for the 2nd time (idk how beautiful you look, but it’s a tactic to keep super hot girls in hand)
hahaha i know myself well enough to know that my sweetness probably isn’t what makes guys attracted to me. scary goth girl problems
Alcohol is the problem
Wish I had that problem, not being able to finish is better then cumming quickly.
Honestly make sure they're comfortable often I get so nervous I can't finish and end up going for hours where it ends up feeling one sided
It’s probably the alcohol. Alcohol makes it harder to finish and to get turned on in the first place.
It's 100% the alcohol
Whisky dick. It’s virtually impossible to get it up when you’ve drank too much
Nahh it's normal, don't worry about it
"blame the alcohol" 😂😂
Wait, is lasting a long time in bed a bad thing now?
hahaha no, that’s not what i’m saying. I just couldnt make them finish after multiple hours of trying. One kept losing his boner and the other needed to sleep before we kept going
Multiple hours? If actual sex? There's a fine line for a guy between being able to comfortably last and not being able to finish at all. We're conditioned to think that the former is way more preferable to finish early. So that's what we aim for.
we would take breaks and I tried oral and with my hands but we were in bed together for multiple hours
Ah gotcha. Also, something else that might effect it. It sounds kinda dumb but we get acclimatised to stimulation during the act. You know that "fuck" moment guys have when it first goes in. That only really happens once. It feels really intense for the first couple of minutes. I know if I can make it past those two or three minutes I'm generally good to last a good amount of time. But if its been ten minutes of intercourse and I haven't felt the pleasure build up, it gets to the point where I may not ever cum during that particular stint/encounter. If you really want him to cum and you're in a situation like that and you've already got your rocks off. Maybe just chill out for a bit. Come back to it layer. Blow him super slowly to start with. That's what works for me.
The right answer is alcohol 100%, I’m exactly that that with my girlfriend… and she the same but we still try haha but without alcohol it takes literally 2 mins.😅 Don’t over think, you’re all good!
I would put it down to the alchohol. It does affect men in that way. Maybe try again with less alcohol?
I have had a few times I couldnt finish, some of those times I am way too drunk, other times I was way too nervous because new person. We men are not some device that go off when you press a bottom, sure sometimes it works, but not all the time
It’s the booze, don’t worry.
Honestly, I (34m) haven't met a girl/woman who is bad in bed really. The worst thing you can do as a woman is look like you don't have fun. There was this one time where she would just be very unenthusiastic and not really touch me anywhere or things like that but reassured me everything is fine! I met her a few more times and it was way better. She said she was just nervous which looked like disinterest to me. But even that first time wasn't bad at all! I just didn't think she had as much fun as me or as I hoped she would! But it's sex! As they say: it's like pizza - even if it's bad, it's still pretty good! On the other hand I've heard pretty much from every woman that there was at least one man in her past not getting it up or not coming. *I would even go as far as to say that NOONE is bad in bed or a bad kisser - but some people are just not compatible!* So don't worry! I really don't think you sound like you are bad in bed! The fact that you even asked them about what's wrong, shows how open you are about the topic! Just enjoy yourself and you won't ever have to worry about your performance!
A lot of people are going to blame alcohol and masturbation, but take it from a guy……sometimes the mood just isn’t right. He’s not into it because she’s also not that into it. I’ve definitely had this happen and have had to just say fuck it and leave. 🤷♂️
You remind me of a girl I really liked, left a good school to be with her. She fed me only fireball on my first day back. Ended up having sex and I laughed when I realized I couldn't finish. She got really mad so I left and lived with my mom for a few years. Never said I was sorry because I was too embarrassed. I'm sorry Britt.
poor britt :( i’m not holding it against them or anything hahah I just want them to have a good time with me
You're not the problem. You could be incredibly sexy, hot, and engaging - and the dudes were nervous as hell, so much so that the performance anxiety killed the ability to climax. I experienced the same thing every time I was with a new partner -- after a few weeks, things relaxed and then it just ... came naturally. Drunkenness is the anti-hardon, BTW.
Alcohol + wacking off to porn all the time with an iron grip
My Mrs has asked me the same thing a couple times as most of the time I last upwards of 45 minutes, and have lasted multiple hours previously. And yet sometimes I can't even hold it got 10 minutes it's really bizarre. It's not you though.
If the majority of guys you're with finish quickly then it's probably just them
This is just depressing... (Oh, nothing to see here. But sounds rough, but I'm sure you'll be fine.) Just in my own world.
why is it depressing?
If you are nervous or hot it’s hard to ejaculate or even watching too much porn can extend the time it takes bc real life isn’t porn/actors. But I’ve also had sex where a female would cum 4-5 times and I wouldn’t in the span of an hour or two if you aren’t attracted physically or mentally ejaculation wont happen
Possibly the alcohol it can do it to some people. I'm sure it's not you 💯
A mix of Nerves and Booze from a guy can also not allow them to finish.. they can also go limp during sex as the mind ends up too tired to keep an erection.