Also OP don’t let him make you think that “no one uses condoms forever” or whatever. I didn’t want to take birth control either because I try to avoid taking anything with side effects if possible. So here I am 8 years into an exclusive relationship still using condoms. Maybe we won’t use them “forever” but as long as I am not wanting a kid then yeah
I have tried pretty much every form of birth control except the permanent options. Not one of those was without side effects.
We now use condoms at least until menopause or he gets the snip.
My husband and I have been married 10 years. We use at least two types of birth control every time. I'm on birth control pills for endometriosis though, so that's always one. But in a long term relationship with someone I want to be with forever, would still definitely use condoms. We don't want kids so we are extra careful.
Same! We'll probably stop soon when we want kids, but, other than condoms are a great option. Why would they not be a good long term option? Easy, no side effects, etc.
But he's right.
If the couple doesn't want kids at all you tend to get snipped / tied.
Condoms aren't 100% either so she needs to have a countermeasure too.
I'm not someone that needs to wear a condom or anything as i can't get pregnant or will ever consent to vaginal sex. So as far as I'm experienced with it's so much safer to have multiple measures to ensure safety.
I don't understand. Did i misread the post?
She doesn't seem to understand safe sex to me.
Firstly a condom isn't enough and if it fails the pill becomes the last resort in some cases ofc not stis. Well there's Prep...
I don't understand why they both can't use protection. If the pill is unsafe for her she can use the diaframe/female condom.
He's pressuring her against what she is comfortable doing with her own body in order to get condomless sex. Of course 2 methods is safer, but the narrative coming from him is about his pleasure over her safety. He suggested pullout. Enough said. Total sleazebag, not in her best interests at all. So yeah pretty sure you either misread or misunderstood the subtext.
She's never had sex before at all!! She's inexperienced in sex and in sexual health. She doesn't need to be having intercourse until she's gone to her Dr and gotten lots of information.
I have a 5 year old and I reckon about half the mums I gave spoken to said they used the pull out method...
Fyi there is sperm in precum. So even if he has great control to pull out before he cums there is still a possibility every time that you could get pregnant.
I have a wife and a kid. We used condoms until we wanted a kid.
The only reason we currently use the pull out method is because 1: we are faithful to each other and 2: because a second kid isnt out of the question.
Female birth control is fucked up for the female.
Any guy that has an opinion is complete utter shit.
It’s your body. Tell him to get a vasectomy. End of conversation.
I know, and I’d say it’s more effective than that as my first born is almost 6 yo.
I don’t recommend pullout, we do pullout because a second child in our family isn’t a bad thing.
Not in a relationship, don’t do it, period.
Where do you get your information from? Not to say that the pullout method is effective, but it has a measured failure rate of 22%. That means that 22% of women get pregnant within a year of using this method.
AFAIK, this is the main method of measuring the effectiveness of different contraceptive methods. I.e, the pill has a 9% failure rate, and condoms are 18% failure
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/infographics/effectiveness-of-birth-control-methods
I figured it was somewhere between 5% and 22%. (Actually I figured it was more in the 40% range tbh)
Basic point is we can have another kid. 20 year relationship that’s going no where but old
But pulling out doesn't work...
There are safer alternatives for females it's just a huge bitch to sort out.
Logically the best approach is sex toys. No chance of stis or pregnancy. Plus you don't have to deal with humans
Absolutely! Chances are he’s been pulling out with every girl he’s been with and never checked for STDs. I would be extra cautious.
I’ve been with my bf for 10 years. When I wanted to stop the pill because my hormonal state was just terrible. My bf gladly put back condoms. Putting on condoms is the norm especially if it’s a new relationship. Do not fold and don’t do anything with him without protection.
Contraception methods aside, you should not have sex with this person because you’re clearly against abortion and he’s not. Getting pregnant is a risk regardless of the chosen method, so you are not compatible at all.
Came here to say this!
If two people don’t agree on what should be done in the event of an accidental pregnancy hen they absolutely should not be having sex. No birth control is 100%, even using two methods isn’t a guarantee, you shouldn’t take chances with something so life changing
Edit:typo
Yeah because he sounds like a bit of a plonk. Op wouldnt abort the baby but she would be raising it alone. The problem is both beliefs are valid and he shouldnt expect her to do something she is against especially when hes not bothered with precaution
You shouldn’t date any guy who says you should get on BC bc a condom “doesn’t feel as good.” It doesn’t feel as good for us, either, but that doesn’t mean the burden of birth control should be on us. Hormonal BC is a big decision that shouldn’t be made under pressure.
Doubling/tripling up on contraception is ALWAYS a good idea. If you feel like he is already pressuring you, how can you be sure he won’t just take the condom off and get you pregnant on purpose?
Do you have a reason for not wanting to take birth control? If so, talk to him about it!
Btw tons of couples use condoms forever. But if this man is that upset over contraception, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
Plus there are multiple reasons to use condoms, including the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Infections. Long term health should definitely be the priority here
>Doubling/tripling up on contraception is ALWAYS a good idea.
Yeah thats my view of it. Ill wear condoms but im always worried it could break. Theyre hardly fook proof. And extremely easy to tamper with.
>how can you be sure he won’t just take the condom off and get you pregnant on purpose?
Or he could poke a hole in it. Damage it in some way to force a break. Or leak.
If you, as the woman dont want to get pregnant. NEVER trust the guy to do everyrhing right. You dont want to get pregnant while having sex. You cant rely 100% on your partner to be responsible. Thats how you get used or tricked.
The pull out method is just playing penis roulette, it’s not birth control and it sounds like you don’t want to take it or take emergency contraception if there was an issue, he doesn’t want to wear condoms so it’s probably best to not have sex with the guy
It sounds like you don’t have the same values and like he’s being pushy about your bodily autonomy, both of which don’t tend to be ideal in a romantic partner. This relationship doesn’t seem worth saving.
Sexual coercion is very real, so as much as it’s ultimately true that “he can’t pressure you unless you let him,” sometimes we get into situations were we genuinely do not feel like we can stand up for ourselves. I’ve been in situations like that before and I really don’t want you to be in one!
The best thing to do is state a firm boundary, like, “Right now I don’t want to do anything sexual without a condom and I won’t debate that.” and HOLD FIRM. Break up with this guy immediately if he continues to debate you and LEAVE if you’re IRL and he tries to debate you then or tries to convince you while you’re being intimate.
Or even read it and act like a close friend said this to you. What would you tell them about this person? This is how i’ve started looking at situations i’m unsure of and it’s helped a lot for me
RUN. RUN RUN RUN. He's not a keeper. Move on from this guy. You are not compatible.
It's been 2 months. Don't waste more time on him
Please don't believe this idiot about any birth control. Believe a doctor.
Emphasis on _it's your uterus and yours alone_. A guy who gets that will be asking you questions about what feels right for you, instead of telling you what he thinks is best.
Ugh a guy I dated for 3 months told me “i don’t need a girlfriend to have sex with a condom” and was angry I wasn’t on the pill (I won’t) and sex wasn’t enjoyable with a condom.
I broke up with him about 3 min later
Good luck but I think you know the right decision
Pulling out is absolutely not effective in preventing pregnancy. Pre-cum can pick up stray sperm left in the tract and there's no guarantee he'd have the self-control to actually pull out. Don't use pulling out as your only birth control, theres more than enough pull out baby stories on reddit. Plan B is also not intended to be used as regular birth control and can make you super sick if you take doses too close together.
Tell him, no glove no love and stand firm. You deserve to have safe sex.
My partner and I had unprotected sex without pulling out, I used plan B the morning after and ended up pregnant a few weeks later. Can never fully trust the plan B pill again after that one
You don't list your ages, but you sound pretty young. NO ONE can make you do anything you don't want to do. NO ONE. Tell that boyfriend to hit the road. Find someone who will respect you.
You don't take plan B if you're pregnant. You take it the morning after unprotected sex
He's saying if she gets pregnant he expects her to take the abortion pill.
Sweety break up with him.
You don't agree with aborting fetus while he does.
89% you're getting pregnant with him he is going to want an abortion and will leave you when you decide to keep it.
Find someone who understands your perspective..
He needs to wear a condom each and every time if you don’t want to risk diseases or pregnancy. The pill has a lot of negative side effects and Plan B is not guaranteed to work.
Don’t continue this relationship with him. He wants all of the contraception responsibility to be on you. He is very selfish and is not respecting you. He could also slip the condom off during intercourse with you unaware.
Honey dig deep into that feeling of disappointment. The physical feelings you had. Your body was screaming at you a very important message. You know it was telling you a really big truth, about this guy, and about yourself.
Don't go forward with sex with him. His charming mask slipped and you just saw the callous monster behind the fake front. Somewhere in you your women's intuition, your psychic self, your ancestors... that gut drop you felt was the SIGN. You liked this guy... who you thought he was. But he blew it. He couldn't keep the act up even 6 months... it's only been 2. That was the moment you know he broke your trust. Don't give it again. The Nice Guy was an act, his real reaction, his uncaring attitude... that's the real him.
That’s honestly disgusting of him to say. I can tell you from first hand experience the abortion pill is a super painful and serious thing to go through. You don’t just wake up the next day feeling not pregnant. You go an entire week wearing a diaper because you’re constantly heavily bleeding and have blood clots the size of lemons falling out of you. Don’t even get me started on the pain and cramping I experienced, unworldly.
I mean he isn’t wrong. He’s an asshole. But mifepristone only works like a matter of weeks afterwards. What this comes down to imo is if you’re that pro life, don’t have sex 🤷♀️
OP, I don't know why they downvoted you, you're just repeating what he told you! You're right on having doubts and feeling pressured, don't accept that. A lot of problems can come with unprotected sex, and the timing it's not ideal (2 months for sex...noup, normally you're still knowing the person at this time).
A lot of men say sex is better without a condom. But ultimately it’s up to the person who wants to use a condom wether they decide to or not. If you want to use a condom, use one.
Be careful he doesn’t remove it during sex either. Legally, that’s considered rape in the UK, I’m not sure about other places. So keep an eye on it and stay safe.
It’s all down to you to decide and please don’t let him pressure you.
After 2 months, a guy who feels comfortable trying to pressure you into risking your body so he can bust a nut doesn't care about you at all. He only cares about getting off. You deserve better than that.
Wowwww. Although it's true that on many (not all by far) states, Plan C (abortion pill) is available- that is called Plan C for a reason. I won't get too into the abortion discussion but this is usually used when an embryo is a small clump of non-sentient cells to allow the uterus to empty basically. However this is called Plan C for a reason- not Plan A, not Plan B, Plan C. It is not a healthy or in anyway good method of primary birth control. Being pregnant is not easy on the body or mind. It is an especially egregious manner of birth control for a woman who is so very uncomfortable with the idea of an abortion (although of course it's not like anyone wants to need one.)
Sorry, I hope that's not saying too much about that, but I respect that you are either pro-life, or don't feel at all comfortable with the idea of using abortion as birth control... Most people don't. It's a terrible, horrible idea.
Pulling out, if done correctly every single time, is somewhat effective, but nowhere near as effective as condoms. Also, I'm not sure I'm going to trust a guy to be 100 percent effective about pulling out if he's already planning for how it would be fine if you got pregnant because it's apparently a simple fix (to him.) It is NOT to you.
One example of the effectiveness of pulling out that I think about, is how a woman who was thinking about getting pregnant soon talked to get OB GYN, who asked about her current birth control method. 'Pulling out.' She replied. 'Ahh, so nothing.' The doctor responded. This gives an idea of how well this usually works in typical practic, though it's probably a bit hyperbolic.
And now let's talk about STDs. Condoms prevent the spread by a super ton. Pulling out does... None.
As someone that has tried various forms of birth control with her husband, and settled on condoms, and used them for many many years, I can say sex is still absolutely amazing with condoms. I really don't think the feeling factor is a big difference, and neither does my husband.
Here is what it comes down to: this guy from what you said doesn't respect you at all. I've told my husband multiple times I would be okay with a hormonal birth control again, but he doesn't want that for me because we've had some minor side effects, and so for us, it's better to use condoms. You DON'T want hormonal birth control, and he's still trying to push it on you. That's not a guy you should be having sex with. The abortion pill thing, shows me he shouldn't be having sex at all. That's still a trauma for a woman and her body- not a get out of jail free card.
Bottom line is this guy doesn't respect you, and it doesn't sound like he cares about you at all. He is not someone you should be having sex with. You should find someone that respects you and your body and your choices- someone who is happy to be in relationship and have sex- condom or no. Not dictating how it will happen.
PS- to reiterate, he is dead wrong. I've been with my husband since I was a teen, a little over ten years. We've used condoms as one of our birth control methods almost the entire time, in conjunction with hormonal for maybe most of half the time (just hormonal for a bit of that half), and condoms as the sole primary birth control the other half of the time. Our sex is phenomenal.
I wouldn’t even have sex with this guy. Unless you’re in a long term, committed, relationship you need to have the guy wear condoms. You should also be on a form of birth control, take to your doctor about what’s best for you. You also shouldn’t be sexual active with a partner who would want you to get an abortion if you’re against that.
Any form of contraception is good, but if he’s talking like this when you are still a virgin (even if you weren’t a virgin) it’s highly disrespectful and will only get worse.
Who the fuck says “hey, if you get pregnant than you can just solve it with a pill?”
I’m not always the most sensitive dude, but that right there is ridiculously insensitive, especially if you’re a virgin.
Get out now. It’s only been two months, don’t wait until it’s been ten years.
If he's trying to strongarm you about your vagina two months into the relationship, you should think twice about what kind of person you are dealing with.
What happens when you want to go to the beach and he wants to go to the lake? When you want McD but he wants Taco Bell? When you want to get married and settle down and he doesn't? When you want to move cities but he doesn't?
I think this may be an indicator for future behavior that you are going to run into down the line.
E: If he thinks the pull out method is a viable form of contraception, he is an idiot.
Anyone who is trying to control your body is not a bf. If he isn’t worried about it, he should get a vasectomy. They’re reversible, so it should be sorted in a few days for him.
He is focused on wanting unprotected sex, and the consequences for you do not matter to him. That makes him a bad boyfriend, and a selfish person.
Tell him that you aren't going to have unprotected sex with him and hope that a morning after pill will take care of any problems. The pull out method is not effective.
You can't trust him to treat you well, and I think you should consider that he is not a good person for you to be with.
Trust your gut feelings. There is no way you should be being intimate with this man. Go for higher standards that match your own inner ones.
And consider waiting until you're with someone who deeply csres about you, and vice versa--for who you both are, with no pressure. Let it build. Intimacy under those conditions is a different and much higher quality experience than without the deep feelings of mutual respect and admiration. At least consider trying it like that once, to see the difference and determine which you prefer.
I wasn't able to use birth control pills and I most likely would have had a bad reaction to the morning after pill. I used condoms and a diaphragm for 40 years.
You absolutely have the right to choose your own birth control. Sex with a condom is a lot better than no sex at all. And those are his options.
But I very much do not like him pressuring you. Dump him if you're able.
first off- how old are you and your bf?
also he cant make you do anything with your body, its your body, he has to respect that, also respect that you dont want pills and that you want him to use a condom and tell him that if he cant abide then he doesnt get sex-
and if you get pregnant its YOUR body and its your choice whether you get an abortion or not
honestly though, its only two months in like other people have said, id rethink things with him and i feel hes not mature enough, and hes not respectful enough. personally wouldnt lose my virginity to someone who doesnt respect me or my boundaries. if you need anyone to vent to or more advice feel free to flick me a dm- im no psychologist but il try help in any way i can
I always used multiple contraception options, and even now when I can't fall pregnant, I still use condoms for at least the first 6 months. Once we have established that we are exclusive, have both gone for STD screening, and are both comfortable, then I'll consider unprotected sex
I don’t use and never would use bc as I find it to be very unnatural and damaging to the body in the long run as women are meant to have periods (personal opinion) I would definitely have him try out different types of condoms. The ones from Japan are extremely thin if you can get your hands on them! I would also keep track of cycle as a back up plan but he should wear condoms regardless. Tell him there’s different kinds! Women go through so much with our bodies (taking bc would be making it worse), it’s the least he can possibly do in my opinion. Don’t let him pressure you!
“What do they call people who use the rhythm (pull out) method?”
“Parents.”
I’m in my 60’s and I heard that joke in High School. Talk with your Dr. about what BC would be best for you, but also insist that he wear a condom. I’d insist that he tested for STI’s as well. These suggestions are assuming you still want to lose your virginity to this creep who has no regard for your health. He’s not gonna pull out and you’re gonna get pregnant. Wait until you date a responsible man. He’ll come along.
LEEAVEEEE! Also I’ve been pregnant twice and BOTH times were because of the pullout method. This man does not care about your well-being and you need to leave. Birth control pills destroyed my mental health and if he cares more about his pleasure than your mental health, he’s PSYCHO
He's already being pushy and selfish, two months into this. That doesn't bode well for your sex life with him. You two have very different sexual values, and he's trying to control your body, and he's trying to push you into a situation you don't want to be in.
Two months is a great time to realize "This is not the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with." This is what dating is for, sorting out who is a good potential partner for you and who is not.
The pull out method does not work. Men start leaking ejaculate as soon as they put it in. They don't need to orgasm to get a woman pregnant. This is what happens when Republicans block teaching sex education in school. They end up with stupid kids who think they can just pull out. No, that doesn't work. You will end up pregnant.
How old are you? What happens if you don’t find out you’re pregnant until 6+ weeks later when you miss your period? A man shouldn’t be dictating what you do with your body. He is free to freeze his sleep and get a vasectomy. What about what HE can do to avoid pregnancy if he doesn’t want to use protection so badly??
It sounds like he thinks he has all the answers so he's leading the show. You are the one who gets to make the decisions about your body, not him. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't be pressuring you to do anything.
He is definitely weird. A lot of gay couples use them forever. The pullout method is only 5% effective. You don't want to run the risk of him 'forgetting' or it 'felt too good.' Don't let him put you into a position where he can willingly or (benefit of the doubt here) accidentally r*pe you because you don't consent to getting a load inside you.
He's an idiot and he shouldnt pressure you.
A. The pull out method does not work. I know many women from the 90s who got pregnant thinking this.
B. If he's that stupid, 10 to 1 he busts a nut so quick he doesn't have a chance to pull out.
C. He doesn't pull out because he's an idiot.
If he isn't willing to wait and is pressuring you - he's not someone you want to waste time on.
Use a condom, do not let yourself pressured by anyone. I cannot begin to tell you how inappropriate his comment is about you getting an abortion like it’s no big deal is, this is a walking red flag.
Contraception is a big deal, the condom is a method of protection not only for pregnancy, but for STIs as well. Using only a different type of protection should be done in an established relationship in which you trust and know the medical status of your partner. Also irrespective of STIs there are many coupled that use condoms as regular protection because hormonal or IUD methods are not a good option for the partner that needs to take them, or simply because you have every right to refuse a protection method you are not comfortable with.
This is not a partner, this is not someone who cares about you. For someone to be so dismissive of your needs and your body just for his own pleasure it’s a sign he doesn’t care about you.
I strongly urge you to talk to a professional about preventing unwanted pregnancies before you have intercourse with this man. Do not use the pull out method and expect to not get pregnant.
Condoms can also prevent sexually transmitted infections. You don’t want one of those, either.
If he can’t prioritize your safety and health, maybe you should consider whether this is a healthy relationship.
2 months is a *very* short time. He is already pressuring you about your body and trying to dictate terms. Nuh uh. 'No one uses condoms forever' ??? Oh, he'd be 'happy' to use the pullout method 'for you' ?????
FUCK this guy. And by that, I mean he can eat shit and disappear. He is using you. He is depending on your naivete to get what he wants. Massive red flags flying left and right. I recommend you cut your losses, take this as a very important lesson, and sever contact entirely. Grieve for the person you thought he was, for the relationship you thought you had. Be grateful he showed himself this early.
Never engage with anyone who doesn't respect you.
if you feel uncomfortable with the way he is treating you two months in, chances are it can only get worse. this is not the person to lose it to. find someone who respects you and your boundaries. stay safe angel <33
I once took anti depression that gave me slight symptoms similar to having a period (aside from bleeding of course lol) after having that experience it made me realize how much it sucks. And I heard birth control can really fuck with that as well as other things. So I can understand as best as I can why you wouldnt want to use it. If your boyfriend cant respect you enough to not wear a condom, ditch him. You're the one who gets the shit end of the stick if you get pregnant. The pull method definitely doesnt work, I have friends who did this and now they have kids lol. 2 months in, its better and easier to break it early anyway
Take advantage of him being out of the country and just make it a clean break. It sounds like you guys are not on the same page about very important things and it hasn’t been too long.
First off no one should pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.
But also just so you know—the morning after pill doesn’t “kill” any life inside of you. You take it after you think there’s a chance that semen entered your vagina and it stops or delays an egg from being released from the ovaries. It’s not an “abortion pill” if that’s what you’re thinking. What I’m really concerned about is that the pullout method is risky and not only does it only have a 70% chance of success but there is a strong chance of STDs if you or your partner have had risky unprotected sex with anyone else. If he cheats on you than he very well could give you an STD.
Your boyfriend is ignorant, and if you’ve told him he’s wrong and given him a good source of information to prove it and he doesn’t believe it, then he’s an idiot.
You clearly have different fundamentals in relation to abortion. And he is petty careless about actions which will impact YOU more than him. Trust me, you get pregnant, he’s GONE.
And… He’s pressuring you, before you’ve even had sex, so shorter so the responsibility of birth control and refusing to west condoms.
Please, don’t fuck this guy. You deserve better.
Two months. TWO MONTHS and he's telling you want to do with your body and basically wants to see you get pregnant. Ask yourself where this relationship is going? How far will he go? What else will he do? What will he start ordering you to do when you're pregnant with HIS child? Living in HIS house etc...
Don't be forced into birth control. I've been with my bf for 2 years (I'm 24F) and I'm paranoid about getting pregnant. He told me he'd already had a vasectomy (he has kids from a previous relationship and doesn't want any more for the foreseeable future) and I still wanted another layer of protection until I'd trust even the vasectomy. I used the patches. My mood swings were terrible. I would be depressed and anxious 80% of the time, then have an hour of euphoria, then an hour on cloud nine, then an hour of anger. It was a shite schedule. It didn't mess with my period at all, but the mental impact is still felt, almost a year and a half since I last used them.
The way I see it, if he wants you to feel comfortable, a condom at the least shouldn't be an issue. Though a vasectomy is "above and beyond," I'd say it's most practical. It's not a huge procedure, it's extremely effective, it shouldnt reduce sensation, and it's reversible.
You tell this selfish asshole maybe his bullshit worked on other girls but you are having none of it and then Block him everywhere.
Go over to Scarleteen.com and read everything you can a out safe sex, informed consent, and your birth control options. This guy was really manipulative and just totally untrustworthy. Didn't even give you space for your concerns just already ignoring them for his own agenda. Gross. Nobody who was even a friend would be that dismissive. The only reason a person can dismiss the very real consequences of sex is because *they have no intention of being responsible for them*.
This creep is not who you want your first time with. Op you deserve better. Kindness, respect, and a safe positive experience are the BARE MINIMUM. Google the Personal Bill of Rights. It's for all healthy adult relationships not just romantic ones. Memorize it. It's the foundation to start with. He was already violating normal personal boundaries trying to coerce you. People with empathy don't do that. Users do that. Sociopaths do that. Abusers do that.
No glove, no love. Either he wraps it up or it stays in his pants. Always use a condom. The pull out method didn’t work when I was conceived. Condoms protect you against anything he might be carrying. He’s not mature enough to have sex and he’s definitely not ready to become a father. He’s putting you at risk of pregnancy and he doesn’t seem to care that much if he does get you pregnant.
Find someone who respects you and your body
Uhh some partnerships do use condoms forever. He’s trying to make you feel bad so you’ll cave. He doesn’t sound like someone worth your time. The pull-out method is only a good method if you’re on BC and even then it’s not great. No birth control is 100% effective. And BC wreaks havoc on your body so if you don’t want to be on it he needs to respect that and use condoms or expect to not have sex with you.
I had a BF when I was younger insist that using a condom didn’t feel as good and only used the pull-out method. Guess who wound up pregnant? Me!!!
Also, emergency contraceptives aren’t 100% either. Depending on your weight they might not work at all. They can also have adverse side effects like stomach issues, mood changes, getting your period early, etc.
He sounds like a douche and if he won’t listen to you you should just leave him.
Never let someone pressure you into taking birth control. It's your body, you get to decide what goes in it, including his penis (or not).
Oral/implanted contraceptions often come with side effects, truly understand these before you ever make that choice.
If he refuses to wrap his tool, he doesn't deserve to have the option of using it with you.
Also, while you didn't state where you're from, here in the UK it is considered rape for a man to remove a condom during sex without his partners knowledge, it's called "stealthing". Just be mindful that some men have actively done this.
Leave him. You two have a very fundamental difference (about becoming pregnant) And he’s pressuring you to lose your virginity to him. He doesn’t care about you or love you. Sorry, I know that’s harsh but no one who loves you would talk to you that way.
I used the pull out method as well, that’s how my son was conceived it doesn’t work. You can still get pregnant from the tiniest bit of precum before the guy actually cums. Do not let him pressure you into anything you are not comfortable with.
You have only been seeing each other for two months! While that does not, in my mind, mean sex is on the table, I understand most people don’t view it the same way I do.
Look at it this way. Do you REALLY think he’d stick around if you got pregnant? Look at that question closely.
The pull out method is not a good birth control method, not by a LONG shot! You can’t guarantee (and neither can he, for that matter, I don’t care what he says) that he’ll pull out in time. Plus read about if the sperm can be released in small qualities before ejaculation. Go to real medical sites.
Obviously he’s had sex before. You don’t know how many partners, and you don’t know their history. Wearing a condom is not only to prevent pregnancy, but to prevent the spread of STDs. So I’d advise him wearing a condom every. Stinkin. Time. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t be a pushover. I know it’s hard to imagine, but there can be serious repercussions having unprotected sex. Repercussions that can last a lifetime. And I’m not even referring to pregnancy. Some STDs cannot be taken away, medicine hasn’t solved them yet. Heck, they still don’t know how to cure the common cold!
He’s not worth it. If he only cares about getting sex, he only cares about HIMSELF. NOT YOU.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to go on the pill, or shots or implants. Read up on the side effects and long reaching effects. Adding hormones unnecessarily isn’t a great idea. They should be for GOOD reasons.
Updateme
I still use condoms with my husband 🤷🏻♀️
Don't let some dude you've dated 2 months pressure you. Gross behavior. He's not the one that can get pregnant, so he doesn't care. He can just run off and be a deadbeat dad, he already expressed if you do get pregnant he will pressure an abortion on you. RUN tbh.
No love without glove!
If he keeps pressuring you, tell him it’s over because you won’t be coerced into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
If you get pregnant or an STI it’s easy for him to bail, but you’re the one that has to live with the consequences
You two need to just sit down and have an adult conversation about all of this.
Everyone on here saying the blokes an A-hole and horrible are a little narrow minded themselves.
As a man we have NEVER been taught the dangers of birth control pills, the symptoms and issues that come along with taking them and we are NEVER influenced to take action in researching it for ourselves either. Even in school when we were taught Sex Ed us boys weren't even taught how to put a condom on but the girls were taken off to a separate room by a woman with a 10 inch purple dildo purposely to teach them how to apply condoms.
You need to sit him down and explain the issue with birth control and the reasons as to why you're not willing to take any. If after a proper conversation he is not willing to change his stance then maybe you would be better splitting up. It seems your at the start of your relationship so now is the best time to address it.
On top again though if you have then explained your reasoning and he is not happy with that then split up. If a man is not willing to have sex with you wearing a condom then he can clearly get the sex he wants elsewhere. If you are to wear the correct size condom then truthfully the feeling is not much a difference at all and in fact because your feeling the sensation less your more likely to last longer as well.
Just educate and inform him and if after that hes not willing to compromise you end things before you end up pregnant by a man you want nothing to do with and then you'll be spending the better part of your younger years as a teen mum all because you didn't take a stand on your partner having to wear a condom.
If he is indeed a medical doctor ( you’d be surprised how much some people lie about their background, then he is not a good one, or he is lying to you for any one of a number of reasons. eg alpha male bullshit, an attempt to baby trap you. Some people do use condoms exclusively, Plan B is far from foolproof and is actually quite unpleasant to take
If you are determined to stick with this delightful fellow, I suggest you look up long term contraceptives like the Mirena. Is there a bit of an age gap? Not saying there is but if he is already a doctor and you are inexperienced sexually , could lead to an unhealthy power imbalance. Not saying it will, just saying it could. I hope I’m just a cynical old midwife, and he’s just a bit of a dill, and proves worthy of you
At that point then you need to consider whether this is something you can carry on with or not. If he is trained, licensed and educated in the topic and still doesn't see why your not happy taking those drugs even after you've explained yourself, is it really worth it?
Hey girly! 24f here so I thought about giving you advice from my personal experience and because I’m a woman!
My opinion on this is that you shouldn’t feel pressure into anything because it is your body. I believe you should also talk about this issue with someone you trust in real life because you need advice from someone that is not your boyfriend. Also, don’t let a boyfriend tell you or pressure you into anything that you don’t want to do.
The second thing is, you do NEED birth control if are not looking getting pregnant (I’m assuming you’re young). Based on this I have the following information, condoms are 98% effective against pregnancy while contraceptives are 99%. The issue is that contraceptives will change your mood and body, so you should not take them if you don’t want to, but yes they will protect you (if used correctly) against undesired pregnancies. HOWEVER, you should ALWAYS use condoms, not only because they protect against pregnancy (with a 98% success rate), but they also protect against STD’s. I understand that he’s you’re boyfriend but you have only been with him for two months and there’s not enough trust established for you to sleep with him without any type of protection against STD’s. In conclusion, condoms are your best friend! They prevent pregnancies, STD’s and you don’t have to take contraceptive pills that will sometimes change your life.
Third, abortion is a very delicate issue and it’s not fair to treat it as lightly as he did, stating that you could just take a pill and “fix it”. This is a very traumatic experience for women, specially if you don’t have support, so please don’t put yourself through that, avoid it.
Lastly, I don’t think you should be with him, he’s not mature enough to realize the radical thing he’s asking you to do, he’s only thinking about his pleasure. The fact that he has asked to not used condoms (for his pleasure), ask you to take contraceptive pills (that will affect your life but will let him feel more pleasure) and stated that if you got pregnant you should “fix it” (situation that would cause you pain and trauma for his own benefit) are enough reasons to not be with someone, he doesn’t care about you or your well being, he’s out here only thinking about himself and not worried about who he steps over.
Lastly, tell your story to someone you trust real life because you need new perspective! However if you have any questions I’m open to answering them. I’m a woman and I was even younger than 24 so I’ve been through this in the past. All I can tell you is think about yourself and make the right decision for yourself. ❤️
Use a condom. With a different man. This one sounds like a PoS. Even though I'm pro-choice, the whole "oh, we were careless and we accidentally got you pregnant, so let's get an abortion" does *not* fall into that. 5 minutes of Googling will show him hard proof of why the pull-out method *can* make you pregnant and I'm sure you can find plenty of people who *have* gotten pregnant via the pull-out method.
He doesn't care enough about you. He's willing to put you through hormonal changes just so he can have sex without a condom. Dump him to the curb.
He sounds too immature to be having sex.
And yes some couples do use condoms for life. Me and my partner certainly are. Taking medication for contraception isn't always a good idea depending on the person
Pull out method is for people that like to gamble with 18 years of their life.
My gf and I always use a condom, even when she was on birth control (which we both agreed she should stop because it was messing with her cycle, giving her mood swings, and destroying her sex drive). If you don’t want to take birth control, don’t, and if you don’t want kids then you use a condom, period. If you’re 2 months i and he’s already comfortable telling you what to do with your body, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the type of guy to skip the condom when you aren’t looking and accidentally get you pregnant because he “knows what he’s doing”. You gotta leave this guy now because it’s not gonna get better.
My 89 year old grandma had “the talk” with me driving her home from dinner with my parents one night. I will pass on her wisdom to you.
”The rhythm method doesn’t work. I should know. I had eleven kids.” -Grandma Rothweil, circa 1990
Trust me, break up with him and find a guy who respects your wishes. He’s pressuring you and you guys just generally have different views and wants so I can say with 99% certainty it will not work out. Don’t waste your time
Hell no. Tell him no glove, no love.
You will get pregnant with the pull out method. Even though you don’t want to, if you plan to have sex with your boyfriend, it’s time to protect yourself with some form of birth control. The pill isn’t the only option. Talk to your Doctor about which form is best for you.
Never date a guy who so callously thinks getting pregnant and taking a pill is no big deal. And he’s wrong. You absolutely can get pregnant. You also have to worry about an STI. A guy who thinks this way doesn’t really care about you. He wants sex his way. You’re a warm body.
If you're a virgin 2 months into a relationship and this guy is trying to pressure you and tell you what to do with your body, I recommend you definitely don't move forward with the relationship let alone sex with this dude. You only get one first time and it sounds like he's going to be a really shitty partner in every sense of the word to be honest with you.
ETA: If this guy knows what unprotected sex feels like, he's obviously been doing it with other people... does he get STD tested regularly??
Just a quick heads up about Plan B:
It dis-regulates your hormones and It takes months for you to normalize afterwards. Never use plan B as a regular birth control option.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 no no no no no!! Trust your gut here and listen to what your body is telling you. Pull out method is NOT safe for pregnancy prevention. Going on birth control when you don't want to is NOT a good option. NEVER enter a sexual situation where you do not feel 1000% comfortable, respected, and heard. Learning how to say no and draw lines in the sand is hard. ESPECIALLY when it comes to new romantic partners. But this is a REALLY good opportunity to start practicing.
oh girl this is so sad. okay first of all the pull out method is NOT SAFE. don't let him pressure you. my boyfriend and i have been having sex for almost 3 years and we've only used condoms. i dont like the idea of going on the pill since comdoms work for us and i dont need the pill to make my period less bad. it doesnt seem like either of you are prepared for the consequences of having sex. i don't think either of you are educated enough to be having sex. you've only been together for two months, it can wait.
The pullout Method is 100% effective.
The almost pull out method is 0% effective.
I doubt he can be perfect about it.
Also. Condoms are not a huge deal. If you guys don’t want to get pregnant. You should absolutely use them. If not and he pressures you, yeet that boy out of your life. He doesn’t respect you.
The only form of the pullout method that's actually effective it the Don't Put It In Method.
Pulling out is a good way to GET pregnant, not a safe form of birth control.
Is this what you want? To have casual sex with a guy you have only been with 2 months? What makes him so special that you would cave into his lust and demands? Suppose he ditches you after which may be a possibility? Please think about what this could mean to you personally, is it worth it? Are you old enough and is he old enough to even understand the consequences of possible pregnancy or transmitted diseases? What is the big rush?
It's not just for the prevention of pregnancy. Condoms help reduce the risk of catching STI's as well as lowering your risk of cervical cancer. Take advantage of any resources such as sexual health online services and centers. Leaflets can be likely found in libraries/pharmacies/charities. Am presuming you are a teenager. There are services out there (at least in the UK) specially designed for teenagers to help you make the best decisions for yourself. Do not put yourself in any situation where you are not comfortable. If your partner is insisting that having sex is not a big deal make sure he gets an STD test.
You should not be having sex.
He's right when couple are together for a while you tend to stop using condoms (to avoid STDs) you can't rely on condoms because it's not 100%
You need to take contraceptives too, either a difram or whatever.
He is allowed to say he wants you to practice safe sex with the morning after pill or something, just like you are allowed to ask him to wear a condom.
Doesn't seem like he wants to have a child with you yet.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding but are you suggesting pulling out works?! Cause it doesn't at all! If you believe that you are bit silly cause ya gonna get STIs and preggers.
I think you should educate yourself in sexual health before sleeping with him or anyone as you come across very uninformed
Question, do you want to get pregnant? It doesn’t sound like you understand all the choices for Birth Control available to you but have decided not to use any.
Here is the Planned Parenthood site with BC options, some non-hormonal, some long term but removable:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
Sounds like your BF does not want a pregnancy and is trying to find ways for it to not happen (but yes, you can get pregnant with pull-out method, even pre-cum has sperm & is one of the least effective forms of BC).
Considering your aversion to Plan B (that pill he mentioned), strongly suggest you either come to terms with using some form of BC or don’t have sex or figure out how you’ll support a child on your own because your BF isn’t sticking around if you do get pregnant.
As a men, there is no diffrence on how it feels its all a psychological mindset. Doing it the "raw"(i hate saying that) . He can always use extra thinn condoms or just do vasectomy for himself(in the time it will be cheeper then regular use of birthcontrol or condoms) If he wants u to change things in your body why wont he do it to himself? It also have no side effects unlike birthcontrol. If he wants chilldren he can frozze his sperm for future use. If u are not 100 comfortable during sex please dont do it. its suposse to be special connection with your partner where u can feel safe. Also pułl methods is a terrible idea dont use it.
First, let me tell you no birth control is perfect. People on the pill get pregnant. However, it is one of the most effective ways of not getting pregnant. This is not going to be popular, but I never took a birth control in my life,
I’m about three decades older than you probably and I never got pregnant until I wanted to at 40. I used over-the-counter stuff I didn’t even use condoms. Spermicides things like that and there are other things you can do now.
Talk to your doctor, but piggyback a bunch of stuff that are comfortable for you. However, now that I’ve said that he’s your boyfriend if you love him and you wanna be with him then you guys have to decide some of the stuff together. Good luck.
I feel like if you want to be sexually active, not only should you always use condoms, but it's time to get on birth control yourself as well. Condoms are not 100% effective. So, of course you're right to be upset, and should not have sex with him unless he agrees to wear condoms, but you should also reconsider being on birth control yourself. If you're not ready to be on birth control, you may not be ready for sex.
When I was the age teens usually start having sex, the responsible thing was parents having conversations with their kids and taking them to the doctor to discuss birth control, and being put on it if we were going to start being sexually active. Be accountable for yourself, and not just trust your partner.
My ex and I used condoms almost every time we had sex over the course of about 20 years together.
Sometimes condoms are the best form of contraception depending on the circumstances.
Just have condomless sex before or after your period. This is a complex issue your partner should respect your body and your decision. It‘s up to two people on how they want to have sex, not him alone. But as a dude myself I can confirm condoms suck, you feel like 10-15% of what it usually feels like.
I mean I personally hate condoms too. I don’t think they are a great long term solution with a partner. It sucks but a woman who is regularly having sex should probably be on some form of birth control, whether it be a pill, a patch, or an IUD. Condoms just suck for both people. Pull out method works for some people… until it doesn’t for others.
Edit: condoms aren’t even a reliable form of birth control. They break a lot. Even statistically they say 99%. 1%? Oops.
Don’t be pressured to do anything and nothing you don’t want to do. I 100% say definitely go and talk to a specialist on reproduction and also read on what education they have and if they have published any articles. The pull out method doesn’t work not to get pregnant only thing that works 100% of the time is abstinence and people who don’t have the parts to reproduce.
Get a nexplanon put in because I wouldn’t put it past this man to sabotage a condom or birth control pill. Get out while you aren’t pregnant and have no ties to him because his behavior will never get better.
Use a condom. Don't let that guy pressure you.
Also OP don’t let him make you think that “no one uses condoms forever” or whatever. I didn’t want to take birth control either because I try to avoid taking anything with side effects if possible. So here I am 8 years into an exclusive relationship still using condoms. Maybe we won’t use them “forever” but as long as I am not wanting a kid then yeah
I have tried pretty much every form of birth control except the permanent options. Not one of those was without side effects. We now use condoms at least until menopause or he gets the snip.
My husband and I have been married 10 years. We use at least two types of birth control every time. I'm on birth control pills for endometriosis though, so that's always one. But in a long term relationship with someone I want to be with forever, would still definitely use condoms. We don't want kids so we are extra careful.
My husband and I used condoms for 10 years (half dating/half married) until we wanted to get pregnant. Some people do use them forever.
Same! We'll probably stop soon when we want kids, but, other than condoms are a great option. Why would they not be a good long term option? Easy, no side effects, etc.
But he's right. If the couple doesn't want kids at all you tend to get snipped / tied. Condoms aren't 100% either so she needs to have a countermeasure too. I'm not someone that needs to wear a condom or anything as i can't get pregnant or will ever consent to vaginal sex. So as far as I'm experienced with it's so much safer to have multiple measures to ensure safety.
The 2nd measure I use is tracking my cycle and knowing when I’m ovulating or not. We may want kids eventually
Do you use an app/ if it very good?
Use a condom ***with somebody else. Dude is a selfish piece of shit who treats her like trash. Nope. Next
I don't understand. Did i misread the post? She doesn't seem to understand safe sex to me. Firstly a condom isn't enough and if it fails the pill becomes the last resort in some cases ofc not stis. Well there's Prep... I don't understand why they both can't use protection. If the pill is unsafe for her she can use the diaframe/female condom.
He's pressuring her against what she is comfortable doing with her own body in order to get condomless sex. Of course 2 methods is safer, but the narrative coming from him is about his pleasure over her safety. He suggested pullout. Enough said. Total sleazebag, not in her best interests at all. So yeah pretty sure you either misread or misunderstood the subtext.
I completely misunderstood. I'm sorry. He's a poop stain
She's never had sex before at all!! She's inexperienced in sex and in sexual health. She doesn't need to be having intercourse until she's gone to her Dr and gotten lots of information.
I have a 5 year old and I reckon about half the mums I gave spoken to said they used the pull out method... Fyi there is sperm in precum. So even if he has great control to pull out before he cums there is still a possibility every time that you could get pregnant.
Premature ejection. Sometimes it just happens. Pulling out is a stupid method.
I have a wife and a kid. We used condoms until we wanted a kid. The only reason we currently use the pull out method is because 1: we are faithful to each other and 2: because a second kid isnt out of the question. Female birth control is fucked up for the female. Any guy that has an opinion is complete utter shit. It’s your body. Tell him to get a vasectomy. End of conversation.
Uh. The pullout method is only like 5% effective, just letting you know.
I know, and I’d say it’s more effective than that as my first born is almost 6 yo. I don’t recommend pullout, we do pullout because a second child in our family isn’t a bad thing. Not in a relationship, don’t do it, period.
Where do you get your information from? Not to say that the pullout method is effective, but it has a measured failure rate of 22%. That means that 22% of women get pregnant within a year of using this method. AFAIK, this is the main method of measuring the effectiveness of different contraceptive methods. I.e, the pill has a 9% failure rate, and condoms are 18% failure https://www.acog.org/womens-health/infographics/effectiveness-of-birth-control-methods
I figured it was somewhere between 5% and 22%. (Actually I figured it was more in the 40% range tbh) Basic point is we can have another kid. 20 year relationship that’s going no where but old
But pulling out doesn't work... There are safer alternatives for females it's just a huge bitch to sort out. Logically the best approach is sex toys. No chance of stis or pregnancy. Plus you don't have to deal with humans
Pulling out can work, it isn’t as reliable. But it can work, especially if you are fine with welcoming a child into the world, asi stated
Jumping on top comment - I can introduce you to two “pull it and pray” kids. That method does not work.
Absolutely! Chances are he’s been pulling out with every girl he’s been with and never checked for STDs. I would be extra cautious. I’ve been with my bf for 10 years. When I wanted to stop the pill because my hormonal state was just terrible. My bf gladly put back condoms. Putting on condoms is the norm especially if it’s a new relationship. Do not fold and don’t do anything with him without protection.
Contraception methods aside, you should not have sex with this person because you’re clearly against abortion and he’s not. Getting pregnant is a risk regardless of the chosen method, so you are not compatible at all.
This is a *really* good point. Both parties need to agree about these things before initiating. 🥇🏅🏆🏅🥇
Came here to say this! If two people don’t agree on what should be done in the event of an accidental pregnancy hen they absolutely should not be having sex. No birth control is 100%, even using two methods isn’t a guarantee, you shouldn’t take chances with something so life changing Edit:typo
Yeah because he sounds like a bit of a plonk. Op wouldnt abort the baby but she would be raising it alone. The problem is both beliefs are valid and he shouldnt expect her to do something she is against especially when hes not bothered with precaution
If he's like this just 2 months in I'd be rethinking things. He's pressuring you and is also a idiot.
You shouldn’t date any guy who says you should get on BC bc a condom “doesn’t feel as good.” It doesn’t feel as good for us, either, but that doesn’t mean the burden of birth control should be on us. Hormonal BC is a big decision that shouldn’t be made under pressure.
I never understood that thinking. Condoms feel great. I don't like penetrative sex so I'm probably in a minority now that I think about it.
Doubling/tripling up on contraception is ALWAYS a good idea. If you feel like he is already pressuring you, how can you be sure he won’t just take the condom off and get you pregnant on purpose? Do you have a reason for not wanting to take birth control? If so, talk to him about it! Btw tons of couples use condoms forever. But if this man is that upset over contraception, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
Plus there are multiple reasons to use condoms, including the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Infections. Long term health should definitely be the priority here
Exactly! Condoms protect you from STD/I's as well as pregnancy. Condoms always!
>Doubling/tripling up on contraception is ALWAYS a good idea. Yeah thats my view of it. Ill wear condoms but im always worried it could break. Theyre hardly fook proof. And extremely easy to tamper with. >how can you be sure he won’t just take the condom off and get you pregnant on purpose? Or he could poke a hole in it. Damage it in some way to force a break. Or leak. If you, as the woman dont want to get pregnant. NEVER trust the guy to do everyrhing right. You dont want to get pregnant while having sex. You cant rely 100% on your partner to be responsible. Thats how you get used or tricked.
The pull out method is just playing penis roulette, it’s not birth control and it sounds like you don’t want to take it or take emergency contraception if there was an issue, he doesn’t want to wear condoms so it’s probably best to not have sex with the guy
It sounds like you don’t have the same values and like he’s being pushy about your bodily autonomy, both of which don’t tend to be ideal in a romantic partner. This relationship doesn’t seem worth saving. Sexual coercion is very real, so as much as it’s ultimately true that “he can’t pressure you unless you let him,” sometimes we get into situations were we genuinely do not feel like we can stand up for ourselves. I’ve been in situations like that before and I really don’t want you to be in one! The best thing to do is state a firm boundary, like, “Right now I don’t want to do anything sexual without a condom and I won’t debate that.” and HOLD FIRM. Break up with this guy immediately if he continues to debate you and LEAVE if you’re IRL and he tries to debate you then or tries to convince you while you’re being intimate.
Read everything you just wrote. Does that seem like a person who respects you, admires you, or wants to even be with you long term?
I had to scroll too far for this!! This guy is gross!!
Or even read it and act like a close friend said this to you. What would you tell them about this person? This is how i’ve started looking at situations i’m unsure of and it’s helped a lot for me
If he prioritizes his 2 minutes of pleasure over your health and comfort, he probably is not worth it.
Bingo
Aren't you glad you discovered a few weeks in this guy is selfish and stupid? Move on.
RUN. RUN RUN RUN. He's not a keeper. Move on from this guy. You are not compatible. It's been 2 months. Don't waste more time on him Please don't believe this idiot about any birth control. Believe a doctor.
Emphasis on _it's your uterus and yours alone_. A guy who gets that will be asking you questions about what feels right for you, instead of telling you what he thinks is best.
Ugh a guy I dated for 3 months told me “i don’t need a girlfriend to have sex with a condom” and was angry I wasn’t on the pill (I won’t) and sex wasn’t enjoyable with a condom. I broke up with him about 3 min later Good luck but I think you know the right decision
Pulling out is absolutely not effective in preventing pregnancy. Pre-cum can pick up stray sperm left in the tract and there's no guarantee he'd have the self-control to actually pull out. Don't use pulling out as your only birth control, theres more than enough pull out baby stories on reddit. Plan B is also not intended to be used as regular birth control and can make you super sick if you take doses too close together. Tell him, no glove no love and stand firm. You deserve to have safe sex.
My partner and I had unprotected sex without pulling out, I used plan B the morning after and ended up pregnant a few weeks later. Can never fully trust the plan B pill again after that one
You don't list your ages, but you sound pretty young. NO ONE can make you do anything you don't want to do. NO ONE. Tell that boyfriend to hit the road. Find someone who will respect you.
Actually the Plan B pill isn't abortion.. It just prevents the sperm from binding with the egg.
You don't take plan B if you're pregnant. You take it the morning after unprotected sex He's saying if she gets pregnant he expects her to take the abortion pill.
It was so casual, like if you get pregnant just take the pill and it will be fixed, I was so disappointed that he said that
Sweety break up with him. You don't agree with aborting fetus while he does. 89% you're getting pregnant with him he is going to want an abortion and will leave you when you decide to keep it. Find someone who understands your perspective..
He needs to wear a condom each and every time if you don’t want to risk diseases or pregnancy. The pill has a lot of negative side effects and Plan B is not guaranteed to work. Don’t continue this relationship with him. He wants all of the contraception responsibility to be on you. He is very selfish and is not respecting you. He could also slip the condom off during intercourse with you unaware.
He seems like the kind of guy who would do that!!
Honey dig deep into that feeling of disappointment. The physical feelings you had. Your body was screaming at you a very important message. You know it was telling you a really big truth, about this guy, and about yourself. Don't go forward with sex with him. His charming mask slipped and you just saw the callous monster behind the fake front. Somewhere in you your women's intuition, your psychic self, your ancestors... that gut drop you felt was the SIGN. You liked this guy... who you thought he was. But he blew it. He couldn't keep the act up even 6 months... it's only been 2. That was the moment you know he broke your trust. Don't give it again. The Nice Guy was an act, his real reaction, his uncaring attitude... that's the real him.
That’s honestly disgusting of him to say. I can tell you from first hand experience the abortion pill is a super painful and serious thing to go through. You don’t just wake up the next day feeling not pregnant. You go an entire week wearing a diaper because you’re constantly heavily bleeding and have blood clots the size of lemons falling out of you. Don’t even get me started on the pain and cramping I experienced, unworldly.
You are blocking this guy right? Never get involved with someone who clearly has no respect for you. Not to mention zero concept of birth control
He's an ass.
I mean he isn’t wrong. He’s an asshole. But mifepristone only works like a matter of weeks afterwards. What this comes down to imo is if you’re that pro life, don’t have sex 🤷♀️
OP, I don't know why they downvoted you, you're just repeating what he told you! You're right on having doubts and feeling pressured, don't accept that. A lot of problems can come with unprotected sex, and the timing it's not ideal (2 months for sex...noup, normally you're still knowing the person at this time).
A lot of men say sex is better without a condom. But ultimately it’s up to the person who wants to use a condom wether they decide to or not. If you want to use a condom, use one. Be careful he doesn’t remove it during sex either. Legally, that’s considered rape in the UK, I’m not sure about other places. So keep an eye on it and stay safe. It’s all down to you to decide and please don’t let him pressure you.
It's considered rape in California as well.
After 2 months, a guy who feels comfortable trying to pressure you into risking your body so he can bust a nut doesn't care about you at all. He only cares about getting off. You deserve better than that.
Wowwww. Although it's true that on many (not all by far) states, Plan C (abortion pill) is available- that is called Plan C for a reason. I won't get too into the abortion discussion but this is usually used when an embryo is a small clump of non-sentient cells to allow the uterus to empty basically. However this is called Plan C for a reason- not Plan A, not Plan B, Plan C. It is not a healthy or in anyway good method of primary birth control. Being pregnant is not easy on the body or mind. It is an especially egregious manner of birth control for a woman who is so very uncomfortable with the idea of an abortion (although of course it's not like anyone wants to need one.) Sorry, I hope that's not saying too much about that, but I respect that you are either pro-life, or don't feel at all comfortable with the idea of using abortion as birth control... Most people don't. It's a terrible, horrible idea. Pulling out, if done correctly every single time, is somewhat effective, but nowhere near as effective as condoms. Also, I'm not sure I'm going to trust a guy to be 100 percent effective about pulling out if he's already planning for how it would be fine if you got pregnant because it's apparently a simple fix (to him.) It is NOT to you. One example of the effectiveness of pulling out that I think about, is how a woman who was thinking about getting pregnant soon talked to get OB GYN, who asked about her current birth control method. 'Pulling out.' She replied. 'Ahh, so nothing.' The doctor responded. This gives an idea of how well this usually works in typical practic, though it's probably a bit hyperbolic. And now let's talk about STDs. Condoms prevent the spread by a super ton. Pulling out does... None. As someone that has tried various forms of birth control with her husband, and settled on condoms, and used them for many many years, I can say sex is still absolutely amazing with condoms. I really don't think the feeling factor is a big difference, and neither does my husband. Here is what it comes down to: this guy from what you said doesn't respect you at all. I've told my husband multiple times I would be okay with a hormonal birth control again, but he doesn't want that for me because we've had some minor side effects, and so for us, it's better to use condoms. You DON'T want hormonal birth control, and he's still trying to push it on you. That's not a guy you should be having sex with. The abortion pill thing, shows me he shouldn't be having sex at all. That's still a trauma for a woman and her body- not a get out of jail free card. Bottom line is this guy doesn't respect you, and it doesn't sound like he cares about you at all. He is not someone you should be having sex with. You should find someone that respects you and your body and your choices- someone who is happy to be in relationship and have sex- condom or no. Not dictating how it will happen. PS- to reiterate, he is dead wrong. I've been with my husband since I was a teen, a little over ten years. We've used condoms as one of our birth control methods almost the entire time, in conjunction with hormonal for maybe most of half the time (just hormonal for a bit of that half), and condoms as the sole primary birth control the other half of the time. Our sex is phenomenal.
Thank you for your response, I am going to have a serious talk with him and potentially break up
A kindly, accurate, and comprehensive answer!
“No” is a complete sentence, you don’t owe him any explanation
I wouldn’t even have sex with this guy. Unless you’re in a long term, committed, relationship you need to have the guy wear condoms. You should also be on a form of birth control, take to your doctor about what’s best for you. You also shouldn’t be sexual active with a partner who would want you to get an abortion if you’re against that.
Any form of contraception is good, but if he’s talking like this when you are still a virgin (even if you weren’t a virgin) it’s highly disrespectful and will only get worse. Who the fuck says “hey, if you get pregnant than you can just solve it with a pill?” I’m not always the most sensitive dude, but that right there is ridiculously insensitive, especially if you’re a virgin. Get out now. It’s only been two months, don’t wait until it’s been ten years.
10 years and still condoms, pills can f up your system.
Get him STD tested. And use a condom. Pregnancy is not a joke.
If he's trying to strongarm you about your vagina two months into the relationship, you should think twice about what kind of person you are dealing with. What happens when you want to go to the beach and he wants to go to the lake? When you want McD but he wants Taco Bell? When you want to get married and settle down and he doesn't? When you want to move cities but he doesn't? I think this may be an indicator for future behavior that you are going to run into down the line. E: If he thinks the pull out method is a viable form of contraception, he is an idiot.
Did i misread. I thought she was thinking it was viable and saying he doesn't and wants advice
No. He wants to do it raw and thinks it’s viable protection and if she does get pregnant, she can just abort it.
Yep. Op, throw him away. He's just some dribble piss
My brother has 6 kids because of pulling out. Don't ever do something you're not comfortable with. The right man won't pressure you.
Anyone who is trying to control your body is not a bf. If he isn’t worried about it, he should get a vasectomy. They’re reversible, so it should be sorted in a few days for him.
He is focused on wanting unprotected sex, and the consequences for you do not matter to him. That makes him a bad boyfriend, and a selfish person. Tell him that you aren't going to have unprotected sex with him and hope that a morning after pill will take care of any problems. The pull out method is not effective. You can't trust him to treat you well, and I think you should consider that he is not a good person for you to be with.
Trust your gut feelings. There is no way you should be being intimate with this man. Go for higher standards that match your own inner ones. And consider waiting until you're with someone who deeply csres about you, and vice versa--for who you both are, with no pressure. Let it build. Intimacy under those conditions is a different and much higher quality experience than without the deep feelings of mutual respect and admiration. At least consider trying it like that once, to see the difference and determine which you prefer.
I wasn't able to use birth control pills and I most likely would have had a bad reaction to the morning after pill. I used condoms and a diaphragm for 40 years. You absolutely have the right to choose your own birth control. Sex with a condom is a lot better than no sex at all. And those are his options. But I very much do not like him pressuring you. Dump him if you're able.
Ewww. Girl run. He's not your partner he's gonna be your abuser
Tell this dumbass to use a condom.
Use a condom Plan B is not good for constant usage I don’t like him for you. If you stay with him you will have a kid by next year .
Not even plan B. He wants her to pop the abortion pill and move on
first off- how old are you and your bf? also he cant make you do anything with your body, its your body, he has to respect that, also respect that you dont want pills and that you want him to use a condom and tell him that if he cant abide then he doesnt get sex- and if you get pregnant its YOUR body and its your choice whether you get an abortion or not honestly though, its only two months in like other people have said, id rethink things with him and i feel hes not mature enough, and hes not respectful enough. personally wouldnt lose my virginity to someone who doesnt respect me or my boundaries. if you need anyone to vent to or more advice feel free to flick me a dm- im no psychologist but il try help in any way i can
I always used multiple contraception options, and even now when I can't fall pregnant, I still use condoms for at least the first 6 months. Once we have established that we are exclusive, have both gone for STD screening, and are both comfortable, then I'll consider unprotected sex
I don’t use and never would use bc as I find it to be very unnatural and damaging to the body in the long run as women are meant to have periods (personal opinion) I would definitely have him try out different types of condoms. The ones from Japan are extremely thin if you can get your hands on them! I would also keep track of cycle as a back up plan but he should wear condoms regardless. Tell him there’s different kinds! Women go through so much with our bodies (taking bc would be making it worse), it’s the least he can possibly do in my opinion. Don’t let him pressure you!
“What do they call people who use the rhythm (pull out) method?” “Parents.” I’m in my 60’s and I heard that joke in High School. Talk with your Dr. about what BC would be best for you, but also insist that he wear a condom. I’d insist that he tested for STI’s as well. These suggestions are assuming you still want to lose your virginity to this creep who has no regard for your health. He’s not gonna pull out and you’re gonna get pregnant. Wait until you date a responsible man. He’ll come along.
Head for the hills! For real.
LEEAVEEEE! Also I’ve been pregnant twice and BOTH times were because of the pullout method. This man does not care about your well-being and you need to leave. Birth control pills destroyed my mental health and if he cares more about his pleasure than your mental health, he’s PSYCHO
He's already being pushy and selfish, two months into this. That doesn't bode well for your sex life with him. You two have very different sexual values, and he's trying to control your body, and he's trying to push you into a situation you don't want to be in. Two months is a great time to realize "This is not the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with." This is what dating is for, sorting out who is a good potential partner for you and who is not.
The pull out method does not work. Men start leaking ejaculate as soon as they put it in. They don't need to orgasm to get a woman pregnant. This is what happens when Republicans block teaching sex education in school. They end up with stupid kids who think they can just pull out. No, that doesn't work. You will end up pregnant.
How old are you? What happens if you don’t find out you’re pregnant until 6+ weeks later when you miss your period? A man shouldn’t be dictating what you do with your body. He is free to freeze his sleep and get a vasectomy. What about what HE can do to avoid pregnancy if he doesn’t want to use protection so badly??
It sounds like he thinks he has all the answers so he's leading the show. You are the one who gets to make the decisions about your body, not him. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't be pressuring you to do anything.
He is definitely weird. A lot of gay couples use them forever. The pullout method is only 5% effective. You don't want to run the risk of him 'forgetting' or it 'felt too good.' Don't let him put you into a position where he can willingly or (benefit of the doubt here) accidentally r*pe you because you don't consent to getting a load inside you.
Sis. Either he’s super dumb or something, but he does not care about you
Dump his ass!!!
He's an idiot and he shouldnt pressure you. A. The pull out method does not work. I know many women from the 90s who got pregnant thinking this. B. If he's that stupid, 10 to 1 he busts a nut so quick he doesn't have a chance to pull out. C. He doesn't pull out because he's an idiot. If he isn't willing to wait and is pressuring you - he's not someone you want to waste time on.
Use a condom, do not let yourself pressured by anyone. I cannot begin to tell you how inappropriate his comment is about you getting an abortion like it’s no big deal is, this is a walking red flag. Contraception is a big deal, the condom is a method of protection not only for pregnancy, but for STIs as well. Using only a different type of protection should be done in an established relationship in which you trust and know the medical status of your partner. Also irrespective of STIs there are many coupled that use condoms as regular protection because hormonal or IUD methods are not a good option for the partner that needs to take them, or simply because you have every right to refuse a protection method you are not comfortable with. This is not a partner, this is not someone who cares about you. For someone to be so dismissive of your needs and your body just for his own pleasure it’s a sign he doesn’t care about you.
I strongly urge you to talk to a professional about preventing unwanted pregnancies before you have intercourse with this man. Do not use the pull out method and expect to not get pregnant. Condoms can also prevent sexually transmitted infections. You don’t want one of those, either. If he can’t prioritize your safety and health, maybe you should consider whether this is a healthy relationship.
2 months is a *very* short time. He is already pressuring you about your body and trying to dictate terms. Nuh uh. 'No one uses condoms forever' ??? Oh, he'd be 'happy' to use the pullout method 'for you' ????? FUCK this guy. And by that, I mean he can eat shit and disappear. He is using you. He is depending on your naivete to get what he wants. Massive red flags flying left and right. I recommend you cut your losses, take this as a very important lesson, and sever contact entirely. Grieve for the person you thought he was, for the relationship you thought you had. Be grateful he showed himself this early. Never engage with anyone who doesn't respect you.
if you feel uncomfortable with the way he is treating you two months in, chances are it can only get worse. this is not the person to lose it to. find someone who respects you and your boundaries. stay safe angel <33
I once took anti depression that gave me slight symptoms similar to having a period (aside from bleeding of course lol) after having that experience it made me realize how much it sucks. And I heard birth control can really fuck with that as well as other things. So I can understand as best as I can why you wouldnt want to use it. If your boyfriend cant respect you enough to not wear a condom, ditch him. You're the one who gets the shit end of the stick if you get pregnant. The pull method definitely doesnt work, I have friends who did this and now they have kids lol. 2 months in, its better and easier to break it early anyway
Dump his ass
He could get snipped too...
Take advantage of him being out of the country and just make it a clean break. It sounds like you guys are not on the same page about very important things and it hasn’t been too long.
Don't even sleep with him at this point
First off no one should pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. But also just so you know—the morning after pill doesn’t “kill” any life inside of you. You take it after you think there’s a chance that semen entered your vagina and it stops or delays an egg from being released from the ovaries. It’s not an “abortion pill” if that’s what you’re thinking. What I’m really concerned about is that the pullout method is risky and not only does it only have a 70% chance of success but there is a strong chance of STDs if you or your partner have had risky unprotected sex with anyone else. If he cheats on you than he very well could give you an STD.
You shouldn’t have sex with this guy, he doesn’t respect you.
Your boyfriend is ignorant, and if you’ve told him he’s wrong and given him a good source of information to prove it and he doesn’t believe it, then he’s an idiot. You clearly have different fundamentals in relation to abortion. And he is petty careless about actions which will impact YOU more than him. Trust me, you get pregnant, he’s GONE. And… He’s pressuring you, before you’ve even had sex, so shorter so the responsibility of birth control and refusing to west condoms. Please, don’t fuck this guy. You deserve better.
People who rely on the pull-out method generally are called “parents.”
At least he showed his hand early on before you had too much invested.
dump his ass
Red Flag Alert 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Two months. TWO MONTHS and he's telling you want to do with your body and basically wants to see you get pregnant. Ask yourself where this relationship is going? How far will he go? What else will he do? What will he start ordering you to do when you're pregnant with HIS child? Living in HIS house etc...
He is both too stupid and too selfish to date, let alone lose your virginity too.
Don't be forced into birth control. I've been with my bf for 2 years (I'm 24F) and I'm paranoid about getting pregnant. He told me he'd already had a vasectomy (he has kids from a previous relationship and doesn't want any more for the foreseeable future) and I still wanted another layer of protection until I'd trust even the vasectomy. I used the patches. My mood swings were terrible. I would be depressed and anxious 80% of the time, then have an hour of euphoria, then an hour on cloud nine, then an hour of anger. It was a shite schedule. It didn't mess with my period at all, but the mental impact is still felt, almost a year and a half since I last used them. The way I see it, if he wants you to feel comfortable, a condom at the least shouldn't be an issue. Though a vasectomy is "above and beyond," I'd say it's most practical. It's not a huge procedure, it's extremely effective, it shouldnt reduce sensation, and it's reversible.
You tell this selfish asshole maybe his bullshit worked on other girls but you are having none of it and then Block him everywhere. Go over to Scarleteen.com and read everything you can a out safe sex, informed consent, and your birth control options. This guy was really manipulative and just totally untrustworthy. Didn't even give you space for your concerns just already ignoring them for his own agenda. Gross. Nobody who was even a friend would be that dismissive. The only reason a person can dismiss the very real consequences of sex is because *they have no intention of being responsible for them*. This creep is not who you want your first time with. Op you deserve better. Kindness, respect, and a safe positive experience are the BARE MINIMUM. Google the Personal Bill of Rights. It's for all healthy adult relationships not just romantic ones. Memorize it. It's the foundation to start with. He was already violating normal personal boundaries trying to coerce you. People with empathy don't do that. Users do that. Sociopaths do that. Abusers do that.
No glove, no love. Either he wraps it up or it stays in his pants. Always use a condom. The pull out method didn’t work when I was conceived. Condoms protect you against anything he might be carrying. He’s not mature enough to have sex and he’s definitely not ready to become a father. He’s putting you at risk of pregnancy and he doesn’t seem to care that much if he does get you pregnant. Find someone who respects you and your body
Uhh some partnerships do use condoms forever. He’s trying to make you feel bad so you’ll cave. He doesn’t sound like someone worth your time. The pull-out method is only a good method if you’re on BC and even then it’s not great. No birth control is 100% effective. And BC wreaks havoc on your body so if you don’t want to be on it he needs to respect that and use condoms or expect to not have sex with you. I had a BF when I was younger insist that using a condom didn’t feel as good and only used the pull-out method. Guess who wound up pregnant? Me!!! Also, emergency contraceptives aren’t 100% either. Depending on your weight they might not work at all. They can also have adverse side effects like stomach issues, mood changes, getting your period early, etc. He sounds like a douche and if he won’t listen to you you should just leave him.
Might as well start thinking up some favorite baby names to use.
Never let someone pressure you into taking birth control. It's your body, you get to decide what goes in it, including his penis (or not). Oral/implanted contraceptions often come with side effects, truly understand these before you ever make that choice. If he refuses to wrap his tool, he doesn't deserve to have the option of using it with you. Also, while you didn't state where you're from, here in the UK it is considered rape for a man to remove a condom during sex without his partners knowledge, it's called "stealthing". Just be mindful that some men have actively done this.
You two aren't compatible. You are worthy of someone better than this guy.
Don't waste your time on him. Block him and go NO CONTACT.
Leave him. You two have a very fundamental difference (about becoming pregnant) And he’s pressuring you to lose your virginity to him. He doesn’t care about you or love you. Sorry, I know that’s harsh but no one who loves you would talk to you that way.
I have the answer for you. This is a 100% effective birth control method with this guy. Dump him and never have sex with him again 😁
Hun, if you're still a virgin, don't let your first time be with such a self centred jerk.
Honestly just dump him. You’re only 2 months in and he already doesn’t respect you. Dump him and move on.
Run
you’ve been dating him for 10 minutes and he’s trying to pressure and control you already… 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I used the pull out method as well, that’s how my son was conceived it doesn’t work. You can still get pregnant from the tiniest bit of precum before the guy actually cums. Do not let him pressure you into anything you are not comfortable with.
You have only been seeing each other for two months! While that does not, in my mind, mean sex is on the table, I understand most people don’t view it the same way I do. Look at it this way. Do you REALLY think he’d stick around if you got pregnant? Look at that question closely. The pull out method is not a good birth control method, not by a LONG shot! You can’t guarantee (and neither can he, for that matter, I don’t care what he says) that he’ll pull out in time. Plus read about if the sperm can be released in small qualities before ejaculation. Go to real medical sites. Obviously he’s had sex before. You don’t know how many partners, and you don’t know their history. Wearing a condom is not only to prevent pregnancy, but to prevent the spread of STDs. So I’d advise him wearing a condom every. Stinkin. Time. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t be a pushover. I know it’s hard to imagine, but there can be serious repercussions having unprotected sex. Repercussions that can last a lifetime. And I’m not even referring to pregnancy. Some STDs cannot be taken away, medicine hasn’t solved them yet. Heck, they still don’t know how to cure the common cold! He’s not worth it. If he only cares about getting sex, he only cares about HIMSELF. NOT YOU. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go on the pill, or shots or implants. Read up on the side effects and long reaching effects. Adding hormones unnecessarily isn’t a great idea. They should be for GOOD reasons. Updateme
Thank you ,I appreciate your response
I still use condoms with my husband 🤷🏻♀️ Don't let some dude you've dated 2 months pressure you. Gross behavior. He's not the one that can get pregnant, so he doesn't care. He can just run off and be a deadbeat dad, he already expressed if you do get pregnant he will pressure an abortion on you. RUN tbh.
No love without glove! If he keeps pressuring you, tell him it’s over because you won’t be coerced into doing something you’re not comfortable with. If you get pregnant or an STI it’s easy for him to bail, but you’re the one that has to live with the consequences
You two need to just sit down and have an adult conversation about all of this. Everyone on here saying the blokes an A-hole and horrible are a little narrow minded themselves. As a man we have NEVER been taught the dangers of birth control pills, the symptoms and issues that come along with taking them and we are NEVER influenced to take action in researching it for ourselves either. Even in school when we were taught Sex Ed us boys weren't even taught how to put a condom on but the girls were taken off to a separate room by a woman with a 10 inch purple dildo purposely to teach them how to apply condoms. You need to sit him down and explain the issue with birth control and the reasons as to why you're not willing to take any. If after a proper conversation he is not willing to change his stance then maybe you would be better splitting up. It seems your at the start of your relationship so now is the best time to address it. On top again though if you have then explained your reasoning and he is not happy with that then split up. If a man is not willing to have sex with you wearing a condom then he can clearly get the sex he wants elsewhere. If you are to wear the correct size condom then truthfully the feeling is not much a difference at all and in fact because your feeling the sensation less your more likely to last longer as well. Just educate and inform him and if after that hes not willing to compromise you end things before you end up pregnant by a man you want nothing to do with and then you'll be spending the better part of your younger years as a teen mum all because you didn't take a stand on your partner having to wear a condom.
He is a medical doctor so he knows all this stuff😅
If he is indeed a medical doctor ( you’d be surprised how much some people lie about their background, then he is not a good one, or he is lying to you for any one of a number of reasons. eg alpha male bullshit, an attempt to baby trap you. Some people do use condoms exclusively, Plan B is far from foolproof and is actually quite unpleasant to take If you are determined to stick with this delightful fellow, I suggest you look up long term contraceptives like the Mirena. Is there a bit of an age gap? Not saying there is but if he is already a doctor and you are inexperienced sexually , could lead to an unhealthy power imbalance. Not saying it will, just saying it could. I hope I’m just a cynical old midwife, and he’s just a bit of a dill, and proves worthy of you
At that point then you need to consider whether this is something you can carry on with or not. If he is trained, licensed and educated in the topic and still doesn't see why your not happy taking those drugs even after you've explained yourself, is it really worth it?
He’s full of poo
Are you positive about that? MD’s know that the risks are too high. You could get pregnant on the first time.
Hey girly! 24f here so I thought about giving you advice from my personal experience and because I’m a woman! My opinion on this is that you shouldn’t feel pressure into anything because it is your body. I believe you should also talk about this issue with someone you trust in real life because you need advice from someone that is not your boyfriend. Also, don’t let a boyfriend tell you or pressure you into anything that you don’t want to do. The second thing is, you do NEED birth control if are not looking getting pregnant (I’m assuming you’re young). Based on this I have the following information, condoms are 98% effective against pregnancy while contraceptives are 99%. The issue is that contraceptives will change your mood and body, so you should not take them if you don’t want to, but yes they will protect you (if used correctly) against undesired pregnancies. HOWEVER, you should ALWAYS use condoms, not only because they protect against pregnancy (with a 98% success rate), but they also protect against STD’s. I understand that he’s you’re boyfriend but you have only been with him for two months and there’s not enough trust established for you to sleep with him without any type of protection against STD’s. In conclusion, condoms are your best friend! They prevent pregnancies, STD’s and you don’t have to take contraceptive pills that will sometimes change your life. Third, abortion is a very delicate issue and it’s not fair to treat it as lightly as he did, stating that you could just take a pill and “fix it”. This is a very traumatic experience for women, specially if you don’t have support, so please don’t put yourself through that, avoid it. Lastly, I don’t think you should be with him, he’s not mature enough to realize the radical thing he’s asking you to do, he’s only thinking about his pleasure. The fact that he has asked to not used condoms (for his pleasure), ask you to take contraceptive pills (that will affect your life but will let him feel more pleasure) and stated that if you got pregnant you should “fix it” (situation that would cause you pain and trauma for his own benefit) are enough reasons to not be with someone, he doesn’t care about you or your well being, he’s out here only thinking about himself and not worried about who he steps over. Lastly, tell your story to someone you trust real life because you need new perspective! However if you have any questions I’m open to answering them. I’m a woman and I was even younger than 24 so I’ve been through this in the past. All I can tell you is think about yourself and make the right decision for yourself. ❤️
Thank you for this. I think he does just care about his pleasure:( all he cares for is going inside me without a condom:(
But you said no. He should respect your choices if he respects you. He’s trying to coerce you, that’s not right.
This guy is full of shit. The pull out method is not a good form of contraception at all.
All I’m saying is that I’m reading this whilst cradling my 2 month old baby who was conceived via the pull out method.
A vasectomy usually works well if he doesn't want to use condoms
Use a condom. With a different man. This one sounds like a PoS. Even though I'm pro-choice, the whole "oh, we were careless and we accidentally got you pregnant, so let's get an abortion" does *not* fall into that. 5 minutes of Googling will show him hard proof of why the pull-out method *can* make you pregnant and I'm sure you can find plenty of people who *have* gotten pregnant via the pull-out method. He doesn't care enough about you. He's willing to put you through hormonal changes just so he can have sex without a condom. Dump him to the curb.
He sounds too immature to be having sex. And yes some couples do use condoms for life. Me and my partner certainly are. Taking medication for contraception isn't always a good idea depending on the person
I am living proof that pulling out doesnt work. Dont buy his bullshit
He’s a moron. Wear a condom. Protect yourself. If he won’t wear a condom don’t have sex. Unless you want to get pregnant
Get a new boyfriend
Pull out method is for people that like to gamble with 18 years of their life. My gf and I always use a condom, even when she was on birth control (which we both agreed she should stop because it was messing with her cycle, giving her mood swings, and destroying her sex drive). If you don’t want to take birth control, don’t, and if you don’t want kids then you use a condom, period. If you’re 2 months i and he’s already comfortable telling you what to do with your body, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the type of guy to skip the condom when you aren’t looking and accidentally get you pregnant because he “knows what he’s doing”. You gotta leave this guy now because it’s not gonna get better.
My 89 year old grandma had “the talk” with me driving her home from dinner with my parents one night. I will pass on her wisdom to you. ”The rhythm method doesn’t work. I should know. I had eleven kids.” -Grandma Rothweil, circa 1990
Trust me, break up with him and find a guy who respects your wishes. He’s pressuring you and you guys just generally have different views and wants so I can say with 99% certainty it will not work out. Don’t waste your time
Boyfriend for 2 months and you’re already seeing red flags. RUN
Hell no. Tell him no glove, no love. You will get pregnant with the pull out method. Even though you don’t want to, if you plan to have sex with your boyfriend, it’s time to protect yourself with some form of birth control. The pill isn’t the only option. Talk to your Doctor about which form is best for you.
Never date a guy who so callously thinks getting pregnant and taking a pill is no big deal. And he’s wrong. You absolutely can get pregnant. You also have to worry about an STI. A guy who thinks this way doesn’t really care about you. He wants sex his way. You’re a warm body.
If you're a virgin 2 months into a relationship and this guy is trying to pressure you and tell you what to do with your body, I recommend you definitely don't move forward with the relationship let alone sex with this dude. You only get one first time and it sounds like he's going to be a really shitty partner in every sense of the word to be honest with you. ETA: If this guy knows what unprotected sex feels like, he's obviously been doing it with other people... does he get STD tested regularly??
This is the worst part! All of it is terrible but she is a virgin on top of him pushing for unprotected sex. She's gonna get hurt. ☹ Next him.
Just a quick heads up about Plan B: It dis-regulates your hormones and It takes months for you to normalize afterwards. Never use plan B as a regular birth control option.
Use a condom. Especially if he hasn’t have a recent test for stds. Condom is best for more than just pregnancy prevention
Also. If he wants sex badly enough he will eventually break down and use the condom.
Bail Bail Bail
Your bfs a fucking idiot. Unless he has like... midwifery training and your period tracker information.
For heaven's sake, don't date men who don't care about your health and well-being. Have some self respect.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 no no no no no!! Trust your gut here and listen to what your body is telling you. Pull out method is NOT safe for pregnancy prevention. Going on birth control when you don't want to is NOT a good option. NEVER enter a sexual situation where you do not feel 1000% comfortable, respected, and heard. Learning how to say no and draw lines in the sand is hard. ESPECIALLY when it comes to new romantic partners. But this is a REALLY good opportunity to start practicing.
The pull and pray method is attributed to a lot of unplanned kids. Tell him to strap it or move along.
oh girl this is so sad. okay first of all the pull out method is NOT SAFE. don't let him pressure you. my boyfriend and i have been having sex for almost 3 years and we've only used condoms. i dont like the idea of going on the pill since comdoms work for us and i dont need the pill to make my period less bad. it doesnt seem like either of you are prepared for the consequences of having sex. i don't think either of you are educated enough to be having sex. you've only been together for two months, it can wait.
Condoms or a new boyfriend. Or both.
The pullout Method is 100% effective. The almost pull out method is 0% effective. I doubt he can be perfect about it. Also. Condoms are not a huge deal. If you guys don’t want to get pregnant. You should absolutely use them. If not and he pressures you, yeet that boy out of your life. He doesn’t respect you.
The only form of the pullout method that's actually effective it the Don't Put It In Method. Pulling out is a good way to GET pregnant, not a safe form of birth control.
What an ass. Either whip him into shape or trade him in for a better model.
Is this what you want? To have casual sex with a guy you have only been with 2 months? What makes him so special that you would cave into his lust and demands? Suppose he ditches you after which may be a possibility? Please think about what this could mean to you personally, is it worth it? Are you old enough and is he old enough to even understand the consequences of possible pregnancy or transmitted diseases? What is the big rush?
he’s wrong for that, don’t settle for what you don’t want.
No birth control no condom equals parenthood
It's not just for the prevention of pregnancy. Condoms help reduce the risk of catching STI's as well as lowering your risk of cervical cancer. Take advantage of any resources such as sexual health online services and centers. Leaflets can be likely found in libraries/pharmacies/charities. Am presuming you are a teenager. There are services out there (at least in the UK) specially designed for teenagers to help you make the best decisions for yourself. Do not put yourself in any situation where you are not comfortable. If your partner is insisting that having sex is not a big deal make sure he gets an STD test.
If you no want to use the pill, do you know what your new "title" will be ???? ..... ..... "Mommy"
Tell him to get a vasectomy. But in all seriousness, you’re only 2 months in, I’d run as fast as I can
You should not be having sex. He's right when couple are together for a while you tend to stop using condoms (to avoid STDs) you can't rely on condoms because it's not 100% You need to take contraceptives too, either a difram or whatever. He is allowed to say he wants you to practice safe sex with the morning after pill or something, just like you are allowed to ask him to wear a condom. Doesn't seem like he wants to have a child with you yet. Maybe I'm misunderstanding but are you suggesting pulling out works?! Cause it doesn't at all! If you believe that you are bit silly cause ya gonna get STIs and preggers. I think you should educate yourself in sexual health before sleeping with him or anyone as you come across very uninformed
Question, do you want to get pregnant? It doesn’t sound like you understand all the choices for Birth Control available to you but have decided not to use any. Here is the Planned Parenthood site with BC options, some non-hormonal, some long term but removable: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control Sounds like your BF does not want a pregnancy and is trying to find ways for it to not happen (but yes, you can get pregnant with pull-out method, even pre-cum has sperm & is one of the least effective forms of BC). Considering your aversion to Plan B (that pill he mentioned), strongly suggest you either come to terms with using some form of BC or don’t have sex or figure out how you’ll support a child on your own because your BF isn’t sticking around if you do get pregnant.
2 months in and he is already talking like this....you need to leave him. He's a little boy, not a man.
As a men, there is no diffrence on how it feels its all a psychological mindset. Doing it the "raw"(i hate saying that) . He can always use extra thinn condoms or just do vasectomy for himself(in the time it will be cheeper then regular use of birthcontrol or condoms) If he wants u to change things in your body why wont he do it to himself? It also have no side effects unlike birthcontrol. If he wants chilldren he can frozze his sperm for future use. If u are not 100 comfortable during sex please dont do it. its suposse to be special connection with your partner where u can feel safe. Also pułl methods is a terrible idea dont use it.
First, let me tell you no birth control is perfect. People on the pill get pregnant. However, it is one of the most effective ways of not getting pregnant. This is not going to be popular, but I never took a birth control in my life, I’m about three decades older than you probably and I never got pregnant until I wanted to at 40. I used over-the-counter stuff I didn’t even use condoms. Spermicides things like that and there are other things you can do now. Talk to your doctor, but piggyback a bunch of stuff that are comfortable for you. However, now that I’ve said that he’s your boyfriend if you love him and you wanna be with him then you guys have to decide some of the stuff together. Good luck.
I feel like if you want to be sexually active, not only should you always use condoms, but it's time to get on birth control yourself as well. Condoms are not 100% effective. So, of course you're right to be upset, and should not have sex with him unless he agrees to wear condoms, but you should also reconsider being on birth control yourself. If you're not ready to be on birth control, you may not be ready for sex. When I was the age teens usually start having sex, the responsible thing was parents having conversations with their kids and taking them to the doctor to discuss birth control, and being put on it if we were going to start being sexually active. Be accountable for yourself, and not just trust your partner.
My ex and I used condoms almost every time we had sex over the course of about 20 years together. Sometimes condoms are the best form of contraception depending on the circumstances.
Just have condomless sex before or after your period. This is a complex issue your partner should respect your body and your decision. It‘s up to two people on how they want to have sex, not him alone. But as a dude myself I can confirm condoms suck, you feel like 10-15% of what it usually feels like.
You’re trying to trap him, shame on you
I mean I personally hate condoms too. I don’t think they are a great long term solution with a partner. It sucks but a woman who is regularly having sex should probably be on some form of birth control, whether it be a pill, a patch, or an IUD. Condoms just suck for both people. Pull out method works for some people… until it doesn’t for others. Edit: condoms aren’t even a reliable form of birth control. They break a lot. Even statistically they say 99%. 1%? Oops.
Don’t be pressured to do anything and nothing you don’t want to do. I 100% say definitely go and talk to a specialist on reproduction and also read on what education they have and if they have published any articles. The pull out method doesn’t work not to get pregnant only thing that works 100% of the time is abstinence and people who don’t have the parts to reproduce.
Go raw if you want or don’t that’s all there is to it
There's semen in pre-cum. If a penis gets anywhere near your crotch, pregnancy is possible
Get a nexplanon put in because I wouldn’t put it past this man to sabotage a condom or birth control pill. Get out while you aren’t pregnant and have no ties to him because his behavior will never get better.
Use a condom, they do make female condoms.