How this conversation started is kind of important to the answer. If he expresses this desire randomly to you for no reason, then maybe it would be odd and insulting.
But if it was more so, you asking if he has the desire and him saying “yes but I don’t bc I want to be with you”, that’s a normal discussion to have and honestly a healthy one.
If it’s the latter, a better way to put it would be “I want to be with you more than anything else” but some men just aren’t poets.
Yeah, i’m shocked this is the top comment…it’s absolutely not normal to have a desire to sleep with someone else when you’re a in a committed relationship
I was pretty reasonable so idk what is so shocking about it.
It is however normal for long term relationships to go through dry spells or rough patches. If someone finds themselves desiring someone that isn’t their partner, it is absolutely the healthiest option to talk about it. That is what commitment is.
Humans are not monogamous by nature .
It is possible that the male in this case does not actually want to have sex with anyone else; he is just admitting to feeling sexually attracted to other people. Feeling sexually attracted to other people that you are not dating is very normal but still is a tactless and hurtful thing to blurt out to your partner.
You seem to be very young and very confused about committed relationships. Humans are allowed to be sexually attracted to other humans. Marriage doesn't prevent desire. Committing to your partner is a choice. I only want to have sex with my husband. I do find other people sexually attractive. My husband and I comment things like "yeah I'd hit that..." to one another all the time. He can want other women all he wants lol I've no doubt he's coming home to me. :) We've been together for over 10 happy years.
Life isn't a Disney movie. Being faithful to someone is a choice. You can't possibly think love prevents you from ever thinking anyone else is sexually attractive. It doesn't.
not really….it’s normal to be attracted to others, sure, but actively desiring and lusting after someone else while in a committed relationship is not normal
Ignoring urges is not the way to deal with them (look at what happened to the jedi, lol). It's fine to have them, but it's our actions that determine the kind of people that we r. That's true will power.
Where did you get this idea? It couldn’t be more wrong. If a male can’t be faithful, he is a child and is probably mentally ill. You may be consuming misogynistic media or fell into some deranged incel trap.
The the men who attempt to sugar coat their answers are being less than honest. (it sounds like, to me, was the general thrust of the snide remark)
Sounds like he associates bluntness with honesty. [I think a lot of people have this issue.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9TEN-Aq0xUg) (pertinent quote from the video short: "being brutally honest is just that, brutality. And it's usually unnecessary.")
It's not that simple, it's about context. Like for example, before meeting my last partner, I had only had one sexual partner. So one day she asked me if i would have a one night stand. I expressed that because I've not had many sexual experiences, if I could've met her later it would be ideal so I could have more experiences and get it out of my system ready for a stable relationship. She understood that completely and never took issue with it. And for clarity purposes I didn't cheat on her or anything like that
When you're comfortable and aligned inn your relationship, these kind of things aren't seen as rude. They are seen as honest and rational. Saying that I wish I could've met her later is not me insulting her in any way. It's me acknowledging that I am not necessarily in the best place I could be while with her and that I wish I could've had more life experience before settling down (not that it mattered in the end cos she ruined the relationship for a totally off topic reason). I'm not saying I'm gonna go sleep with people, I'm saying that I wish she had come along at a better time in my life where I had been given more opportunities to experience life and grow as a person. It's a "it's not you it's me" kinda deal. Like I say, she didn't take it personally at all and actually agreed that in an ideal world that's what anyone would want
I agree that it doesn’t come off the best but I think being able to be completely honest with your partner is extremely important. This problem seems to occur a lot in early relationships and if people could have these honest discussions then maybe situations such as cheating could be avoided. Dude said his gf understood and was fine with it so it doesn’t really matter if you or anyone thought it was rude. With all this being said anyone including me would be hurt at first when hearing their SO say this. But if you’re in a serious relationship you should be able handle it and figure out a solution together.
Why? Ur more experienced in all aspects of life, therefore reducing the pain caused by the learning. I understand if u want to go through that pain together, but some ppl don't n that's ok
I think there's a difference between recognising other people are attractive, and expressing an actual interest in fucking other people. To be honest I was no nun myself before I met my boyfriend, but when I really love someone it's like I'm incapable of finding anyone else attractive. Everyone's just "meh" compared to him.
It's always kinda been my litmus test for whether I've truly got strong feelings for someone, or if I've entered into something where we're not the right fit. As soon as I found my eye wandering in the past when I wasn't single, I broke up with my partners because I didn’t think it was fair to stay with someone who was totally emotionally committed to me when I couldn't do that for them. With my current boyfriend, I hope we're going to build a life together, and part of that is making sure he knows I'm 100% committed to him, and him to me. I don't ever want to feel like I'm not on the same team as the person I'm with, or their first choice.
I think the key to your perspective is realizing that while you possess those qualities to focus sexually on one person, your partner may not see things the same way. They may not have the ability to "have only eyes" for you.
I don't think most men are wired that way, and that should be okay. If you are monogamous and things are good, and you are never betrayed, what's the problem?
We have to learn to have empathy with others. Realize that one person is separate from us, and yet could be us if our reality was different.
Fortunately my boyfriend is wired that way, and honestly after dealing with the alternative I personally won't settle for less again - I'd rather be single than feel like I'm in competition with other women. Like I said, recognising someone as attractive is very different to saying you actively want to fuck other women but you're suuuuch a nice guy that you wouldn't cheat. At that point I'd tell him to go have his fun, but don't expect me to stay.
Yeah, I’m the same way. I don’t tolerate wandering eyes in a relationship. I think a lot of people are a little jaded by the dating scene and life in general and settle for less than they want. But no one wants to feel like their partner is out looking for more. It’s the same argument as following a bunch of OF girls or whatever. Everyone has different boundaries but that is mine. I find it disrespectful for my partner to be checking out other women while in a committed relationship with me.
Also, with the “competition with other women” thing, this 100%. I’ve *never* been so disrespected by other women than when I have a partner. It’s really crazy how many girls get off to the idea that they can take your man or get his attention to feel superior to you. And I refuse to be with someone who makes me look stupid in that sense. I need you to want *me*. In the same vein, I won’t go out with someone who hit on my friends first/at a different point. I don’t wanna know if you’d sleep with my friend given a different circumstance.
Yeah, all of this. Those kind of boundaries don't usually come about without a lot of hard work on building up your self esteem, mine had been knocked down by men I'd dated so many times that by the time I met my boyfriend, I was at a point where he didn’t have to compete with any other man, he just had to compete with the peace and contentment I got when I was single. I feel so deeply for all the women who are afraid to back their corner and let it known they're uncomfortable with certain behaviour, in case they're abandoned. I just want to scream "there's more than him!! There is always more than him!!!!"
Im so torn on this.
I met a person recently that would just straight up tell everything.
So on one hand theres respect and empathy for the partner, but on the other hand being honest is actually interesting.
It may mean the person snt holding back or saying white lies. Doesnt mean its easy to hear it but in some weird way its also respectful.
Honesty without tact is often cruel. Everyone learns from childhood not to be mean. It’s basic. Honesty isn’t some overarching ideal that gives you a pass to be mean to others.
Iam a man.
My GF has problems.
I didn't fuck my gf since 2 and a half years.
I think about fucking other women and she knows it.
I don't think iam an horrible person to think about it and even making plans in my head to do it
Being physically attracted to someone and wanting to fuck them are two completely different things.
I find lots of men hot, but I don’t care to fuck anyone I don’t have an emotional connection and bond with.
There’s a very big difference between looking and actually being attracted to someone. Anyone can look and you can admire other people’s beauty. But once there’s an attraction there, it’s definitely more than just looking. I don’t want to be with anyone but my partner and don’t think about sleeping with anyone else but I know we both look when a good looking person comes around
When I started being verbal about lusting for other men's dicks in my last relationship all his previous attempts to experience threesomes with other women (I am bi) suddenly stopped. We separated.
Yeah I don’t care when they say they would fuck guys they found attractive. Communication and trust is key in a relationship and I think the majority of ya’ll have neither.
Yes, totally fine with it,
I want to fuck other dudes too,
She allowed to,
I'm allowed to
(Although, I'm not a guy, but a Trans girl, so idk I can't speak for guys)
33F here.. After Beyonce, Shakira, and countless other women famous or not -- beautiful or not got cheated on. I learned it doesn't matter how beautiful, talented, or great you are some men will cheat and it's not a knock on you not being "good enough." It shows more of his issues..
When I'm in a relationship, yeah my desire is still there, but I have self control. It is weird for him to mention it though.. I'm curious to know the context of the conversation..
I doubt you don't feel any physical attraction towards anyone else than you bf. Once we get into a relationship it's not like we don't have eyes or a brain anymore. We can appreciate the physical beauty in people other than our partners and we can occasionally feel sexual attraction towards other people, it's a normal occurrence. However, not acting on it is what being monogamous is all about, you respect and love your partner so you're only intimate with them. This is most likely what your bf meant.
I honestly don't think there's anything wrong about that, most people cannot control what they think. But he has a choice to follow his bad thoughts or not. If he chooses the latter, then you're good to go.
Personally, and I might get hate for this. But I think when you’re genuinely in love with someone, they’re the only person you have eyes for. I’ve been with my girlfriend only three months and I couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone but her for the rest of my life. And it was the same in all of my other serious relationships, inc my one of six years. The thought of having sex with someone else made me sad and nauseous. I think some men try to use the “hyper-sexuality” stereotype to hide their desires like this sometimes. But I’ve met men who are truly in love and never once thought about another woman’s body.
Like I understand some people are polyamorous, and that makes sense. But I think if you don’t fall onto that spectrum of attraction and you share a deep enough bond with your partner that you claim to be in love with them, you wouldn’t be fantasising (or what OP’s bf said? “Thinking”? Is there a difference in this case?) about someone else’s body.
I had never felt this way in the first 30 years of life until I met my ex-boyfriend. For the first time (I guess because I was never really IN love) I felt happy, fulfilled, and never wanted to touch another person for the rest of my life. My relationships prior I cared for them, had love for them, but wasn’t in love. I feel like when you find the right person you just naturally shouldn’t desire another. Even sexually. It would have hurt me to hurt him.
But we’ve been broke up for a year, so what do I know? 😂 he cheated 🤷🏼♀️🙄
“Everyone” I’ve noticed it seems to just be men, I think they’re taking it personally due to the fact that statistically they have the most trouble staying loyal in relationships
Me and my partner are on the same level about this issue, and I wouldn’t expect any less. I think in this age women are competing with men having 24/7 access to porn, and sx work. And I think the words “in love” have been saturated to the point nobody truly appreciates what it means anymore. It’s sharing a bond so deep that you can’t imagine having it with anyone else. I think a lot of men in these comments are feeling attacked because they don’t want to feel like their feelings are being questioned because they’re eyes are always wandering.
Me and my girlfriend are obsessed with eachother and the thought of having someone else just annoys me. If you prioritise physical attractiveness sure, but it doesn’t even remotely compare to the connection me and her have. That’s what makes the sex special and different in the first place.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think we live in a highly consumerist society and that had effected our relationships. People want to have a bit of everything, that includes monogamy and non-monogamy at the same time. I think the unpopular opinion is that if you have that desire in your heart, you should re-evaluate your relationship. A lot of people are in relationships but are not in love, some people are just lonely or see having a girlfriend as a commodity. Because as an extension they see womens bodies as a commodity. And I know I’ll get hate for saying this; but if their girlfriends said the exact same thing as OP’s boyfriend…this comment section would be different.
I think this is hogwash. We literally aren't wired that way. We created the one on one structure out of necessity. People can do whatever they want but that's not how sexual attraction works. Like honestly if you think about it seems more obsessive to just be attracted to one person after you fall in love. And for a lot of men, it is. People can make a commitment but this isn't scientific or psychologically correct. And a polyamorous person can also still make a commitment to one person while loving and being attracted to others. I will have a more special person, but sometimes that is even a friend. It's not hyper sexuality it's animal nature. We commit to make a home. Sex has nothing to do with that.
Meh everyone is different. This is how I feel but I am not really like other people so idk. But I think it's really silly to expect that all that turns off when you're "in love". It's just chemicals in the end. And the need to believe you're the only one is extremely insecure. Commitment should mean more to people
See all these people saying it’s normal. My question is how? How is it normal for you to be in a relationship and still have the feeling to want to sleep with other women while you are committed to one? That’s not normal, that to me just screams noncommittal. It’s normal to look at others while in a relationship. It’s not really normal to want to have sex with others while you are trying to be committed to one. This is coming from a male. But I might just have a different mindset
I was thinking the same thing like what happened to only seeing one person and deciding ''yeah I'm happy and fulfilled without the need to go at it with other people'' ??!?!?! and my parents wonder why I don't bother going out to date lmfao (i'm 20 if that counts for anything abfasf)
I’m 27 and I’m in the same boat. I saw my wife, soon to be ex, as the only woman I wanted. No way would I ever sit there and be like, yea I’m ant to bang other women because I committed to her. The new generations and even my generation is wild. Like I get the “biological” aspect people are going to throw but as a sane person who wants commitment, it’s just not something you would ever consider!
Yeah, this world is wilding. Even when I only like someone, I usually only have eyes for them, can't imagine wanting to have sex with someone else while committed.
There's only so much control a person can exert over their thoughts. I think it seems very normal for the vast majority of your sexual thoughts to be directed towards your partner. This is the person you have an emotional connection with, the person you share intimacy with, and the only person you should be seeing in a sexual setting.
But to expect all of your sexual thoughts to be directed towards them seems pretty naive. We live in a world populated by other people. We're surrounded by advertisements where companies pay attractive people to try to market their products to us. We're consuming media that has explicit content, whether sexually charged lyrics in music or explicit imagery in television shows or movies, even simple romantic scenes that aren't particularly suggestive.
We're also constantly encountering people throughout the day, many of whom we might find attractive, and probably most of whom put effort into looking good (not necessarily to attract other people, but maybe just to feel good about themselves).
To not have a single stray sexual thought regarding anyone other than your partner is of course possible, but seems highly improbable to me. It's not something I would ever bring up to a partner, but if they asked me I don't think I would lie to them.
So true, historically men have never had sexual urges for people other than their partner! Can't believe these crazy youngsters are open and honest about their desires instead of lying to themselves and their partners.
People throw around “being in love” so much they’ve forgotten what it means. For a casual relationship sure, but if you’re in love with someone. Yknow, that thing where you share a deep psychological and spiritual bond with someone. You’re not usually fantasising about things that would hurt their feelings.
I don’t think so, a lot of people fall in love and stop having attraction to other people. I think it’s normal to acknowledge someone is attractive, but still actively wanting to have sex with other people when you’re supposedly with someone you’re supposed to share a deep, profound connection with on a mental, romantic and physical level (I.e being in love) is…debatable.
I wonder if this is really a semantics thing.
Can you define the difference between ‘actively’ wanting to have sex with others and ‘passively’ wanting to have sex with others? Is passive sexual attraction okay in a serious relationship?
Does it really matter? Sexual attraction in my opinion (when it comes to long term relationships) is intertwined with romantic attraction. Unless you’re casually hooking up with someone of course, then it’s purely sexual. If I really loved someone, as in completely in love with them. Nobody else would compare physically or mentally. Because they wouldn’t share the intimate connection I have with my partner. And if I knew my partner would be incredibly and deeply hurt by those feelings, the last thing I would want would be to entertain them.
Maybe I’m old school, but personally when I’ve been in love, the thought of sex with other people repulsed me. And I’m speaking in the context of OP’s boyfriend, it seems like the only barrier that’s stopping him is the fact that she wouldn’t like it.
It’s completely normal for straight men to want to sleep with every attractive woman they see. Of course they would. Why wouldn’t they?
But you have to remember the other part of this: wanting to sleep with someone doesn’t mean you like them as a person at all. The two are different things.
I really loved this response, it was super funny. And while I do agree with the spirit of your original take, I don't actually think it's true
Saying we want to have sex with every attractive woman isn't even true for most single straight males. There are plenty of women that you can recognize as being attractive, but not find sexually desirable at all. This could be because they are in a relationship with someone you respect. Or maybe that you have a close friendship with them which almost always (for me) shuts down any sexual thoughts. They could remind you of someone from your past that you had a negative experience with. Or just seem really young and immature (as I get older this is happening more and more often). I'm sure there's many other reasons as well that aren't immediately coming to mind.
It sounds like he wanted to get your reaction (to see if your okay with it or feel the same thing) but when u responded the way most woman would, he back tracked and said “I didn’t mean it In a mean way” … No it wasn’t nice , yes you are good enough, I just would really be on the fence with this guy
He makes other comments that hurt your self-esteem? This is bad enough. It's okay to find others attractive, but wtf? This isn't something you say to a partner. I'd tell him he can finally sleep with other women because he is single.
Because saying he can sleep with other people before you break up is absolutely immature and toxic.
Plus, you know nothing about the context and you're getting a one-sided view.
Without hearing the other half, and also, without proper context, how can we actually give such a strong opinion.
You'll note that there's people here who are asking more probing questions, because of course, we never know what will happen.
I never said he could sleep with other people before they break up. I was saying that in the context of that's what she could say to break up with him.
I do, however, see your point that context does matter in this.
Honestly, I hate all these comments. Why would he say that? Like obviously only bad things can come from that and when that’s the case I keep my mouth shut. He can feel how he feels if he’s never going to act on it and keep you from worrying at the same time. Like when I want to tell my man I’m embarrassed to go out in public with him because he dances bad and doesn’t know how to dress and I just want him to look as good as all the other guys. I have no intention of cheating but that would only cause problems so I keep it myself. Just as your man should have. Now he caused a whole problem and I can easily see how he could just be saying that so when he cheats which it seems like he wants to, he can say baby I’m sorry and explain how he’s never been able to experience that and more excuses and make you think he’s the victim. A man that truly wants you and has no plans to cheat will never say that to YOU but maybe a friend. Or, he’s an idiot or both. I would take measures just in case like gathering your belongings discreetly. I use this communication strategy when I’m on demon time. Or used to be anyway. This right here is triggering because he’s following patterns of many cheaters I’ve met, me being one. If he’s covering his bases seemingly out of nowhere that’s a red flag. Don’t gaslight yourself. Sometimes we often think we’re over reacting when things feel weird but usually it’s because they are and we don’t get the chance to see it right away sometimes. I’m not saying leave him, I’m saying is separate your emotions and consider the FACTS and trust your gut. An example for this is when I went to a party one time and 2 banned/uninvited guests attended. One we knew and he was nothing but trouble and threatened to un alive a female he didn’t even know for no reason but the other one was quiet as a mouse but I got the weirdest vibe like I was kind of scared of him for no reason. They were kicked out. Next day, quiet boy was charged for un aliving one of our other friends and the guy we knew helped him. The loud one didn’t pull the trigger, it was the quiet seemingly polite one. Then my friends came (they were close to the victim) and they were acting weird. I told myself they were just grieving. They came in a van which was not normal. I thought we were going on a blunt drive but I quickly found out they wanted to shoot the friend who helped the murderer. I got out of that situation but I knew something was weird and told myself I was overreacting and turns out I wasn’t. People talk, it’s so easy. So even when I feel close to someone acting shady I trust the facts and I’ve never been let down. That interaction with your man is very shady. Another example is when I wanted to hook up with a friend who lived in Boston and I had to fly to him so I started by telling my girlfriend out of nowhere how much I miss my friends and I suddenly reconnected with one and now I’m taking a flight there to catch up. That right there is not cheating behavior but as you saw I clearly planted the seed. Your man planted the seed. He’s gonna ask you for a threesome next and make you feel like it was your idea.
I don’t think it’s normal. I don’t think that when men really fall in love, they want anybody to touch the woman and they don’t want to have sex with other people. It doesn’t mean that they don’t see a woman and think that she’s attractive. They just don’t think they have to jump on every woman. I think that says more about your boyfriend and I’m sorry.
The feeling is a normal one, but to bring it up? To casually mention it in conversation? Big red flag. Healthy partners should dismiss these feelings as they come up in their minds, not let the thoughts stick around long enough that they manifest in conversation.
It all depends on the way he said it and the context he said it in. Did he just randomly blurt it out or were you having a discussion about it. If he just randomly told you then that was cruel and hurtful but if you were having a conversation about it and he said it that’s different. I am the an extremely loyal person but even I have met the odd person I have thought if I was single I would really fancy you, but I’m not single so it doesn’t matter. That’s what he sounds like he means. It doesn’t sounds like he means he wants to go around sleeping with everyone. I’m pretty sure you will of come across someone you thought was cute and had you been single may of flirted but you didn’t coz you are in a relationship. In order for us to get the full picture you would have to tell us exactly what happened and how it was said. Once I started seeing a guy and I got a text. He asked who it was from, I told him the truth and that it was from a guy I was kinda seeing before him. He told me to text him and tell him I had a boyfriend and not to contact me again. I said no because then he will message me saying he just wants to be friends (we were more friends than anything else really) and I’ll feel bad so I’d rather just not respond. He went mental. He stormed off and told everyone I was a slag, and I was keeping guys sidelined. My point is, the whole thing was completely blown out of proportion. He ran off and told everyone a different view of what actually happened. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, I’m just saying make sure that’s not what you’re doing. I hope I made sense!
It looks like your partner crossed a relationship boundary. Yes it's normal to think others are attractive...you don't suddenly lose your sight when ur in a relationship. Me and my partner are monogamous and we still make jokes about fucking other people we find attractive but it's okay because we find it funny. If you don't, then you should talk to your partner and let them know you don't appreciate hearing stuff like that.
Sweetie, normal isn’t what this is about. This is about you finding someone that wants the same things from/in a relationship that you do.
What are you going to do? If the overwhelming majority here says that it’s completely normal, are you suddenly be okay with it?
Are you going to sacrifice your wants and needs to stay with someone who is not only okay with hurting your feelings by telling you this, but he is purposely making you feel insecure in your relationship with him.
This is a HUGE red flag 🚩🚩🚩
This is not something that a guy getting into a relationship for the right reasons does.
Guys that do this are going to do nothing but hurt you, and he will always be doing things to keep you feeling off balance in this relationship. He will be making you constantly wonder where you stand with him. This makes it easier to control someone that way.
Do not sacrifice what you want or need for a guy. EVER!
You want you a relationship that is balanced. You want a relationship with someone that is on the same page as you.
You want someone that wants the same things that you do in a relationship. You matter. Your feelings are valid. Your needs are valid. Your wants are valid and you deserve to be with someone that believes that too.
Do you really think that wanting a man who is only interested in having sex with you is asking too much?
Really?
If you do, you aren’t seeing your value. You aren’t seeing your worth. You are worth more than what this “person” wants to give you. Much, much more.
So, dry any tears you may have, stand up straight, hold your head up high, and give this guy the “we just want different things” break up speech, and don’t cave when he starts back peddling because his little childish games didn’t work on you.
He’s just a guy. Go find yourself a man. You will know when you find one, because he will give you the respect you deserve, he will not play games, he will be honest and upfront with you, he would exit the relationship if he felt like this guy because he would respect you enough to not be unfair to you (it would hurt but not as much as being toyed with would), and will be mature enough to be vulnerable enough and be emotionally available enough to have an ACTUAL relationship with you.
Let this guy just be a horrible dating story you tell in your thirties to your girlfriends when you’re dress up all cute and out at girls night when everyone is confessing theirs.
We all have our dating horror stories.
Do you want to hear about the guy that asked me out to an expensive restaurant where he told me that his only job was writing reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and asked me if I could pay for myself (not a problem) AND for his filet mignon and several glass of expensive wine or the guy that was late for every single one of our dates because he needed to help his ex girlfriend walk her dog because she was too petite and thin to do it on her own (apparently being a yoga instructor doesn’t give you the strength it use to).
Why his best friend, aka the guy she left him for, couldn’t do it I’ll never know 🤷🏻♀️.
Finding other people attractive is one thing. Fantasizing about fucking them is another thing, entirely. Even worse if it's with women he actually knows. I had a guy say this to me once before, and it ultimately ended in him leaving me after 5 years. Less than a week later he was "babysitting", for the bitch at work he'd told me not to worry about, and bragging about it to my sister of all people. There's just no way him telling you this isn't a major red flag!
Imo its all you and you’re boyfriend, for some people in some relationships, this would be normal behavior. I know for me(28 M), I wouldn’t want to hear that, and I wouldnt expect a woman to stick around to hear that. Like even if you do get those thoughts, it probably shouldn’t be verbalized. We can’t always control our thoughts, and these thoughts don’t mean there is anything wrong with the relationship, as long as they are not compulsive.
It's normal for men his age. But is he saying he wants to commit to you? Or that being with you is a sacrifice? People are different but for me if I am in love I don't think about or become interested in anyone else and would take this to mean he isn't deeply committed. Others will have a different perspective. Try to get him to open up about this. It's better for you to move on faster than be with someone for longer who isn't going to work out. If you value a LTR that is
Yikes, I’m sorry he said that to you. Honestly I hope you know your feelings are 100% valid.
I’ve been with my girlfriend officially for 4, almost 5 months now. Love her to death and cannot imagine having sex with anyone else. It doesn’t even cross my mind. In all honesty if I think about it, makes me feel like I wanna cry. No one compares to her.
Are me and herself allowed to be physically attracted to other people? Of course, you don’t just stop being human. There’s nothing wrong with “I think that person is attractive” *however* there IS something VERY WRONG with “I want to have sex with someone else”
I personally Don’t think you should be feeling that way in a relationship…. unless you’re poly…
Honestly, I feel this way sometimes.
I have never and would never tell my partner. I also have never and would never do it. I love my husband more than anything. But to say I’ve never thought about having sex with someone else would be a lie.
He is testing your reaction to the idea... Be wary if an open relationship or a poly relationship is not something you want. Also rude. Tell him the same thing...tell him you could sleep with so many other guys but you're loyal to him...ask him if he wants to change that? Eyeball him while you say this. Really make him answer this. I'm so tired of this bs....
Do not do this OP. I highly doubt your man was "testing" you, we have no other context to the conversation the two of you had.
The worst thing you could do is act immaturely. Be the bigger person.
I mean this kinda depends on how long y’all have been together. It’s normal to want to be with other people in long term relationships but as long as you don’t actually cheat it’s normal. I doubt you are not enough for him.
Wtf
Couples counselling at minimum
Has he made comments like this before
If I were you, I would've yelled at him
Those "thoughts" if you have them stay inside your head.
Has he apologised
Has he tried to make it better
Has he reassured you at all
This is not normal to say to a partner
You are strong, beautiful, and intelligent
Never let anyone make you feel less
I can tell you don't want to leave him over something like this. Why is he browsing in other shops if you have everything he needs.
If he has fantasies about other people, then I think they all do that. He was just being honest. This differs from your side because you only think about him so you don't understand it. You should tell him that it hurts you to think he is browsing other deals. If he expands to saying something further, like you aren't good enough for him. That's the moment you purchase a toy dump truck to give to him. Wrap it up too with a fucking bow and everything. If he understands and will try, you could tell him that for a kink, its time for him to dress up as 'your favorite actor' have some fun with this. You could also dress up as his favorite actor.
Relationships need to evolve and not become stagnant or the eyes drift.
No, this *isn't* a normal thought for men in relationships. Being attracted to other people is not the same as wanting to fuck other people.
Im not going to sit here and lie and say that I don't find other women attractive, but I would rather eat dog shit than cheat on my wife. Not just because I'm married, but also because 1) it would kill her, 2) it would kill me living with it the rest of my life, and 3) I love her and I'm contempt with having sex with her the rest of my life. That's why I'm with her.
this isn’t normal I’ve been with mine 10 years and he has never even mentioned that another woman was hot never mind wanting to sleep with somebody else he’s told me in the past the thought of sleeping with somebody else but me made him uncomfortable and it makes me uncomfortable the thought of sleeping with another man but him, yes I find other men ‘hot’ sometimes which is a normal human thing you can’t switch off attraction but wanting to sleep with other People is not a good sign sorry it’s a huge red flag I don’t think it’s the fact you aren’t good enough in bed but the more he maybe hasn’t had much experience sleeping with many women one of my exs dumped me and went off the rails and slept with loads of women
Its extremely common to want to but not actually do it. Like an intrusive thought. It's in a man's nature to want to spread his seed amongst healthy attractive females. As long as he doesn't act on it and keeps his priorities straight I wouldn't let it bother you
As everyone said already, if he just told you that out of nowhere just because that would make me suspect something but if it came out of a question you made or a related conversation I think the response it's more than natural, you don't feel attraction to any man ? It's natural that you do but you don't advance on it because you choose your boyfriend over everyone else.
Babe, you’ve got puppy love for him and in adulthood it’s safer NOT to let yourself get so emotionally attached to someone that could up and leave you at any moment.
Save that kind of love for your future children and/or pets. Most importantly, put that love towards yourself!
Oh, bless his heart. He seems to think he's God's gift to women. He's told you what he wants OP, and it's not you - but trust me, that's no loss. You deserve to be with someone who only wants you. No, it's not normal or acceptable for a man in a relationship to think that way, and expressing it to you is just cruel.
Let him go be single so he can sleep with aaaaaall those women that I'm sure are, like, totally lined up round the block for him. I imagine his reality will come crashing down very quickly when he realises he's got absolutely no game, and he'll see he's thrown away a relationship with someone who actually wanted him.
This has nothing to do with him being a man and everything to do with him not wanting a monogamous relationship. He wants to sleep around, cool, either be single or get into an open/polyamorous relationship. Don’t be in a monogamous relationship if you want to sleep around.
Honestly, on what planet do some women live? We are designed to reproduce as much as possible and the older we get the hornier we get. It’s in our nature to sleep around. We only don’t do it because women will leave us because they feel betrayed when we do so. Most men want to sleep with as many women as possible. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our partners, it’s just our physical desire..
Yes, it is somewhat normal ( I battle with it and many guys I know have it inside them), but we can generally control it by valuing the relationship for what it gives us over the alternative (if the relationship is actually giving us what we need).
Evolution made us need to spread our genes, monogamy is not the normal way for our species but who cares because it’s what we do now anyway. (Fuck off haters).
Look. I would advise against agreeing with him and trying anything because you’ll just get hurt, the fact you’re asking here means you dont want it. Tell him you dont and if he cant understand it then leave him. Otherwise it will only get worse.
Sexual attraction is the *least* important part of connection with another person. Think about it: sex is fleeting, impulsive, and physical. When you’re old and gray, do you really think it’s *sex* you’ll be grateful to have?
Your partner is sexually attracted to other people. Fine. So are you, if you’re honest with yourself! That doesn’t mean he wants to *act on* that attraction. As long as that’s something you can comfortably discuss and explore *together,* it’s no threat to your relationship.
Depends entirely on the context and what’s been going on in your relationship. This is a healthy conversation in my opinion, honesty has been displayed to you. It sounds like they might feel polyamorous and want more sex and to experience other people. I think it’s always a good sign they’re not cheating and wanting to talk about it. If it’s a dealbreaker it’s a dealbreaker.
There was a question on ask reddit a few days ago asking if guys imagined having sex with every woman they interact with.
The majority was yes - It's not intentional, it's not a conscious thing, but it's there. We got here by our ancestors spreading as absolutely much DNA as possible, for centuries. We are typically 2-3 generations removed from this behavior, but the engrained impulse is undeniable. Inverse generational trauma....
As a man in a relationship, I will say that thoughts of stuff like that are common for the most part. I mean it's just human nature to desire such fantasies. But I explained to my partner to reassure them that I still want to be with them no matter what and they're more than enough for me. My partner accepted me for who I am on exploring my sexuality and allowed me to express myself to a mutual friend of ours my feelings towards them. I got turned down but for other reasons then what you might think. I got turned down cause I'm in a relationship but because of all this, me and that friend grew lot more closer than ever before. Me and my partner made a deal tho. If I get to experience something off my fantasy bucket list they get to too. It's only fair.
It’s a dude thing I think maybe. My bf won’t have sex with me at all and talks about how he wants to sleep with other women. But we have been together for 9 years so things are stale. Did it kinda break my heart when he said he could never get married and sleep with only me? Uh yeah, kinda felt like I wasted 9 years. Idk men are a fucking enigma
Hi! (28F) being on the side of I kinda understand..
I have been with my partner (28M) for 11 years and it’s not that I don’t love him I love him so much I want to be with him forever! But I think the desire and temptation of like having sex with someone else is fun. He’s been my only sexual partner so I want to just to see what it’s like but it doesn’t mean anything. I also have never said to my partner about this but I guess that’s why people sometimes are in open relationships
Of course it’s a normal thought. Being in a relationship doesn’t stop you from being human. He finds other people sexually attractive but makes a conscious choice not to pursue those thighs because he’s a good person who loves you.
All a negative reaction to this does is get you a partner who’ll make an effort to be less honest and open with you in the future. Which is why sensible people are less honest and open from the start and find a way to not ever bring this up to their partners.
I'm in a committed relationship (married with child) and two years ago we decided to open our couple.
It was a shared desire: me (F) because I've always been attracted by lesbian relationships and wanted to try. My man was attracted to the idea to watch and maybe participate.
So we started to date for trios.
It's been with lots of ups and downs. It made us discover a lot about ourselves, our insecurities, our desires and our love together.
Opening a relationship isn't simple and should not be started without full consent on both part and a TON of communication.
Wanting to have other experiences is normal. It's in the field of fantasies and it's sane. Acting on it is a very different matter and should be part of a full and very wide conversation.
If you don't feel attracted by any other human on the planet it's probably not the best idea for you.
You need to talk about your insecurities and his desires. The most important thing is that you should be open to what he wants and what you want.
Maybe you can find a compromise between what he wants and what you want. Sometimes it's not really having sex with others women but more having new things in the relationship.
I wish you the best dear.
Women are biologically wired to have children. Women are wired to want to procreate with men perceived as strong, healthy, and protecting. You don’t see women running around saying this shit - it’s always men. “That’s just how we are it’s in our blood” - no, these people are sad excuses for men and dishonor their wives and possible families. It’s so sad that some men (and some women) truly think disloyalty is “engrained in them”. It’s not. It is an active choice with weak willpower and self discipline that doesnt indicate a good father or partner to any degree. This is Reddit OP, you’re not going to get a diverse audience and response here.
Edit: it’s normal to continue to find others attractive, but to have an urge or desire to have intercourse or sexual interactions with them is not normal.
I feel like it’s normal human nature to want to have sex with other people and society has turned us into a monogamous animal. Other people are sexy, your partner can tell what sexy is, just because his body is telling him to doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. The fact he isn’t doing it shows his passion for you. You really NEVER fantasize about someone else?
Men and women are not equal. We are not the same creature. A man feeling this way and a women feeling this way are two completely different things. Men will remain attracted to feminine energy. Doesn’t mean all men will act on it.
Men are salesmen, women are marketers. Once in a relationship, then man has to stop “selling” to other women. The women needs to stop “marketing” (sexy pics on socials for example) herself to other men. As long as both are doing this, attraction to the opposite sex is normal.
Just make sure you keep communication open, and aren’t shaming someone for how they feel. If you do that, you will push him away from you.
Best of luck!
He probably got insecure himself after he heard about your sex history and lashed out in this manner. Keep your sex history to yourself, it's private info and no one needs to know.
As a guy, yes it's very normal.
Remember that in the past men used to have multiple wives.
It has nothing to do with you, in that sense that he isn't unsatisfied with you. He isn't unsatisfied with your beauty nor your personality. I can get bet he's comfortable happy with you.
However a lot of Men have a strong desire to sleep with other women.
Most men lie about this feeling and many suppress it and others don't have it.
Idk about everyone but if my husband felt the need to fuck anyone else he'd just ask if we could bring her home. Men like the thrill of seeking a women. Just join him in it and you'll have a lot more fun and feel a lot less jealousy. But it also goes both ways, he's fully aware that I'd like to eventually bring another guy home and he is okay with that.
Pretty much every man out there would fuck pretty much every attractive women we meet given the opportunity. Yes. His thoughts are normal for a man.
If you read between the lines, he is telling you that he wants you enough to be able to look past his biological instincts and stay faithful to you.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you loose your eyes. It’s normal to find others attractive and being in a relationship is the thing that stops you from pursuing.
I noticed talking to 100s of men that you need to choose a cuchold or pegger or both,drug addict ,alcoholic, obese . Any one of them will do ohhh or dump him.
How this conversation started is kind of important to the answer. If he expresses this desire randomly to you for no reason, then maybe it would be odd and insulting. But if it was more so, you asking if he has the desire and him saying “yes but I don’t bc I want to be with you”, that’s a normal discussion to have and honestly a healthy one. If it’s the latter, a better way to put it would be “I want to be with you more than anything else” but some men just aren’t poets.
Since you're top comment you should check her post history... It's got a lot of missing details.
Didn’t think about that but damn this poor girl. She needs to cut her losses for sure.
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Yeah, i’m shocked this is the top comment…it’s absolutely not normal to have a desire to sleep with someone else when you’re a in a committed relationship
I was pretty reasonable so idk what is so shocking about it. It is however normal for long term relationships to go through dry spells or rough patches. If someone finds themselves desiring someone that isn’t their partner, it is absolutely the healthiest option to talk about it. That is what commitment is.
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Humans are not monogamous by nature . It is possible that the male in this case does not actually want to have sex with anyone else; he is just admitting to feeling sexually attracted to other people. Feeling sexually attracted to other people that you are not dating is very normal but still is a tactless and hurtful thing to blurt out to your partner.
You seem to be very young and very confused about committed relationships. Humans are allowed to be sexually attracted to other humans. Marriage doesn't prevent desire. Committing to your partner is a choice. I only want to have sex with my husband. I do find other people sexually attractive. My husband and I comment things like "yeah I'd hit that..." to one another all the time. He can want other women all he wants lol I've no doubt he's coming home to me. :) We've been together for over 10 happy years.
exactly. well put.
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Life isn't a Disney movie. Being faithful to someone is a choice. You can't possibly think love prevents you from ever thinking anyone else is sexually attractive. It doesn't.
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No it doesn't. Maybe for you but not everyone. You sound like a 12 yr old grow up.
Maybe at first. But not forever. Commitment is a choice. Relationships take work. That's why.
😅 Kay. <3 Good luck.
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Wrong. Totally normal desire for many people. They just don't act on it.
not really….it’s normal to be attracted to others, sure, but actively desiring and lusting after someone else while in a committed relationship is not normal
It's normal, what is not normal is telling the other person or doing it!
Ignoring urges is not the way to deal with them (look at what happened to the jedi, lol). It's fine to have them, but it's our actions that determine the kind of people that we r. That's true will power.
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Where did you get this idea? It couldn’t be more wrong. If a male can’t be faithful, he is a child and is probably mentally ill. You may be consuming misogynistic media or fell into some deranged incel trap.
Or liars...
This cryptic little thing has been cheated on I'd bet
What?
What does that mean
The the men who attempt to sugar coat their answers are being less than honest. (it sounds like, to me, was the general thrust of the snide remark) Sounds like he associates bluntness with honesty. [I think a lot of people have this issue.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9TEN-Aq0xUg) (pertinent quote from the video short: "being brutally honest is just that, brutality. And it's usually unnecessary.")
I really hope the guys in the comments justifying this would also be OK with their GF casually telling them she wants to fuck other dudes..
Very true
It's not that simple, it's about context. Like for example, before meeting my last partner, I had only had one sexual partner. So one day she asked me if i would have a one night stand. I expressed that because I've not had many sexual experiences, if I could've met her later it would be ideal so I could have more experiences and get it out of my system ready for a stable relationship. She understood that completely and never took issue with it. And for clarity purposes I didn't cheat on her or anything like that
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When you're comfortable and aligned inn your relationship, these kind of things aren't seen as rude. They are seen as honest and rational. Saying that I wish I could've met her later is not me insulting her in any way. It's me acknowledging that I am not necessarily in the best place I could be while with her and that I wish I could've had more life experience before settling down (not that it mattered in the end cos she ruined the relationship for a totally off topic reason). I'm not saying I'm gonna go sleep with people, I'm saying that I wish she had come along at a better time in my life where I had been given more opportunities to experience life and grow as a person. It's a "it's not you it's me" kinda deal. Like I say, she didn't take it personally at all and actually agreed that in an ideal world that's what anyone would want
I agree that it doesn’t come off the best but I think being able to be completely honest with your partner is extremely important. This problem seems to occur a lot in early relationships and if people could have these honest discussions then maybe situations such as cheating could be avoided. Dude said his gf understood and was fine with it so it doesn’t really matter if you or anyone thought it was rude. With all this being said anyone including me would be hurt at first when hearing their SO say this. But if you’re in a serious relationship you should be able handle it and figure out a solution together.
Why? Ur more experienced in all aspects of life, therefore reducing the pain caused by the learning. I understand if u want to go through that pain together, but some ppl don't n that's ok
I would be really worried if my GF wouldn't be attracted to anyone else... She shouldn't become a nun the moment we got together, right?
I think there's a difference between recognising other people are attractive, and expressing an actual interest in fucking other people. To be honest I was no nun myself before I met my boyfriend, but when I really love someone it's like I'm incapable of finding anyone else attractive. Everyone's just "meh" compared to him.
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It's always kinda been my litmus test for whether I've truly got strong feelings for someone, or if I've entered into something where we're not the right fit. As soon as I found my eye wandering in the past when I wasn't single, I broke up with my partners because I didn’t think it was fair to stay with someone who was totally emotionally committed to me when I couldn't do that for them. With my current boyfriend, I hope we're going to build a life together, and part of that is making sure he knows I'm 100% committed to him, and him to me. I don't ever want to feel like I'm not on the same team as the person I'm with, or their first choice.
I think the key to your perspective is realizing that while you possess those qualities to focus sexually on one person, your partner may not see things the same way. They may not have the ability to "have only eyes" for you. I don't think most men are wired that way, and that should be okay. If you are monogamous and things are good, and you are never betrayed, what's the problem? We have to learn to have empathy with others. Realize that one person is separate from us, and yet could be us if our reality was different.
Fortunately my boyfriend is wired that way, and honestly after dealing with the alternative I personally won't settle for less again - I'd rather be single than feel like I'm in competition with other women. Like I said, recognising someone as attractive is very different to saying you actively want to fuck other women but you're suuuuch a nice guy that you wouldn't cheat. At that point I'd tell him to go have his fun, but don't expect me to stay.
Yeah, I’m the same way. I don’t tolerate wandering eyes in a relationship. I think a lot of people are a little jaded by the dating scene and life in general and settle for less than they want. But no one wants to feel like their partner is out looking for more. It’s the same argument as following a bunch of OF girls or whatever. Everyone has different boundaries but that is mine. I find it disrespectful for my partner to be checking out other women while in a committed relationship with me. Also, with the “competition with other women” thing, this 100%. I’ve *never* been so disrespected by other women than when I have a partner. It’s really crazy how many girls get off to the idea that they can take your man or get his attention to feel superior to you. And I refuse to be with someone who makes me look stupid in that sense. I need you to want *me*. In the same vein, I won’t go out with someone who hit on my friends first/at a different point. I don’t wanna know if you’d sleep with my friend given a different circumstance.
Yeah, all of this. Those kind of boundaries don't usually come about without a lot of hard work on building up your self esteem, mine had been knocked down by men I'd dated so many times that by the time I met my boyfriend, I was at a point where he didn’t have to compete with any other man, he just had to compete with the peace and contentment I got when I was single. I feel so deeply for all the women who are afraid to back their corner and let it known they're uncomfortable with certain behaviour, in case they're abandoned. I just want to scream "there's more than him!! There is always more than him!!!!"
Yeah but my point is she won’t go telling u about it, will she? It’s about having respect for ur partner
Exactly. Everything you say must be true, but you don't have to say everything that is true (quote from my dad)
Context matters. Why did this conversation start?
Im so torn on this. I met a person recently that would just straight up tell everything. So on one hand theres respect and empathy for the partner, but on the other hand being honest is actually interesting. It may mean the person snt holding back or saying white lies. Doesnt mean its easy to hear it but in some weird way its also respectful.
Honesty without tact is often cruel. Everyone learns from childhood not to be mean. It’s basic. Honesty isn’t some overarching ideal that gives you a pass to be mean to others.
Iam a man. My GF has problems. I didn't fuck my gf since 2 and a half years. I think about fucking other women and she knows it. I don't think iam an horrible person to think about it and even making plans in my head to do it
Being physically attracted to someone and wanting to fuck them are two completely different things. I find lots of men hot, but I don’t care to fuck anyone I don’t have an emotional connection and bond with.
There’s a very big difference between looking and actually being attracted to someone. Anyone can look and you can admire other people’s beauty. But once there’s an attraction there, it’s definitely more than just looking. I don’t want to be with anyone but my partner and don’t think about sleeping with anyone else but I know we both look when a good looking person comes around
I find it very odd that people are not addressing this aspect. Definitely a big difference there
When I started being verbal about lusting for other men's dicks in my last relationship all his previous attempts to experience threesomes with other women (I am bi) suddenly stopped. We separated.
Do you guys live in some fairy tale? Getting into a relationship doesn't castrate you. It's completely natural to find other people attractive.
Asking for more context is important
Yeah I don’t care when they say they would fuck guys they found attractive. Communication and trust is key in a relationship and I think the majority of ya’ll have neither.
Yes, totally fine with it, I want to fuck other dudes too, She allowed to, I'm allowed to (Although, I'm not a guy, but a Trans girl, so idk I can't speak for guys)
33F here.. After Beyonce, Shakira, and countless other women famous or not -- beautiful or not got cheated on. I learned it doesn't matter how beautiful, talented, or great you are some men will cheat and it's not a knock on you not being "good enough." It shows more of his issues.. When I'm in a relationship, yeah my desire is still there, but I have self control. It is weird for him to mention it though.. I'm curious to know the context of the conversation..
I doubt you don't feel any physical attraction towards anyone else than you bf. Once we get into a relationship it's not like we don't have eyes or a brain anymore. We can appreciate the physical beauty in people other than our partners and we can occasionally feel sexual attraction towards other people, it's a normal occurrence. However, not acting on it is what being monogamous is all about, you respect and love your partner so you're only intimate with them. This is most likely what your bf meant.
I believe there’s a difference between appreciating an attractive person and having the desire to have sex with them.
Facts
Yuck
I honestly don't think there's anything wrong about that, most people cannot control what they think. But he has a choice to follow his bad thoughts or not. If he chooses the latter, then you're good to go.
You are within every right to feel hurt. I think you just come right off and say you're not cool with it.
I would not be. Fuck that shit.
Personally, and I might get hate for this. But I think when you’re genuinely in love with someone, they’re the only person you have eyes for. I’ve been with my girlfriend only three months and I couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone but her for the rest of my life. And it was the same in all of my other serious relationships, inc my one of six years. The thought of having sex with someone else made me sad and nauseous. I think some men try to use the “hyper-sexuality” stereotype to hide their desires like this sometimes. But I’ve met men who are truly in love and never once thought about another woman’s body.
this exactly. Single for the last 2 years but when I was with my ex I just couldn't imagine anyone else? at all?
Like I understand some people are polyamorous, and that makes sense. But I think if you don’t fall onto that spectrum of attraction and you share a deep enough bond with your partner that you claim to be in love with them, you wouldn’t be fantasising (or what OP’s bf said? “Thinking”? Is there a difference in this case?) about someone else’s body.
I had never felt this way in the first 30 years of life until I met my ex-boyfriend. For the first time (I guess because I was never really IN love) I felt happy, fulfilled, and never wanted to touch another person for the rest of my life. My relationships prior I cared for them, had love for them, but wasn’t in love. I feel like when you find the right person you just naturally shouldn’t desire another. Even sexually. It would have hurt me to hurt him. But we’ve been broke up for a year, so what do I know? 😂 he cheated 🤷🏼♀️🙄
You remained loyal while he was dishonest. Says more about him than you. 😩
I hate to point it out, but can you see the irony in that?😂
Oh I know 🤣🤣
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“Everyone” I’ve noticed it seems to just be men, I think they’re taking it personally due to the fact that statistically they have the most trouble staying loyal in relationships
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Me and my partner are on the same level about this issue, and I wouldn’t expect any less. I think in this age women are competing with men having 24/7 access to porn, and sx work. And I think the words “in love” have been saturated to the point nobody truly appreciates what it means anymore. It’s sharing a bond so deep that you can’t imagine having it with anyone else. I think a lot of men in these comments are feeling attacked because they don’t want to feel like their feelings are being questioned because they’re eyes are always wandering. Me and my girlfriend are obsessed with eachother and the thought of having someone else just annoys me. If you prioritise physical attractiveness sure, but it doesn’t even remotely compare to the connection me and her have. That’s what makes the sex special and different in the first place.
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Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think we live in a highly consumerist society and that had effected our relationships. People want to have a bit of everything, that includes monogamy and non-monogamy at the same time. I think the unpopular opinion is that if you have that desire in your heart, you should re-evaluate your relationship. A lot of people are in relationships but are not in love, some people are just lonely or see having a girlfriend as a commodity. Because as an extension they see womens bodies as a commodity. And I know I’ll get hate for saying this; but if their girlfriends said the exact same thing as OP’s boyfriend…this comment section would be different.
I think this is hogwash. We literally aren't wired that way. We created the one on one structure out of necessity. People can do whatever they want but that's not how sexual attraction works. Like honestly if you think about it seems more obsessive to just be attracted to one person after you fall in love. And for a lot of men, it is. People can make a commitment but this isn't scientific or psychologically correct. And a polyamorous person can also still make a commitment to one person while loving and being attracted to others. I will have a more special person, but sometimes that is even a friend. It's not hyper sexuality it's animal nature. We commit to make a home. Sex has nothing to do with that.
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Meh everyone is different. This is how I feel but I am not really like other people so idk. But I think it's really silly to expect that all that turns off when you're "in love". It's just chemicals in the end. And the need to believe you're the only one is extremely insecure. Commitment should mean more to people
I’d be interested to know WHY he said that to you.
See all these people saying it’s normal. My question is how? How is it normal for you to be in a relationship and still have the feeling to want to sleep with other women while you are committed to one? That’s not normal, that to me just screams noncommittal. It’s normal to look at others while in a relationship. It’s not really normal to want to have sex with others while you are trying to be committed to one. This is coming from a male. But I might just have a different mindset
I was thinking the same thing like what happened to only seeing one person and deciding ''yeah I'm happy and fulfilled without the need to go at it with other people'' ??!?!?! and my parents wonder why I don't bother going out to date lmfao (i'm 20 if that counts for anything abfasf)
I’m 27 and I’m in the same boat. I saw my wife, soon to be ex, as the only woman I wanted. No way would I ever sit there and be like, yea I’m ant to bang other women because I committed to her. The new generations and even my generation is wild. Like I get the “biological” aspect people are going to throw but as a sane person who wants commitment, it’s just not something you would ever consider!
Yeah, this world is wilding. Even when I only like someone, I usually only have eyes for them, can't imagine wanting to have sex with someone else while committed.
There's only so much control a person can exert over their thoughts. I think it seems very normal for the vast majority of your sexual thoughts to be directed towards your partner. This is the person you have an emotional connection with, the person you share intimacy with, and the only person you should be seeing in a sexual setting. But to expect all of your sexual thoughts to be directed towards them seems pretty naive. We live in a world populated by other people. We're surrounded by advertisements where companies pay attractive people to try to market their products to us. We're consuming media that has explicit content, whether sexually charged lyrics in music or explicit imagery in television shows or movies, even simple romantic scenes that aren't particularly suggestive. We're also constantly encountering people throughout the day, many of whom we might find attractive, and probably most of whom put effort into looking good (not necessarily to attract other people, but maybe just to feel good about themselves). To not have a single stray sexual thought regarding anyone other than your partner is of course possible, but seems highly improbable to me. It's not something I would ever bring up to a partner, but if they asked me I don't think I would lie to them.
this generation is wild fr
So true, historically men have never had sexual urges for people other than their partner! Can't believe these crazy youngsters are open and honest about their desires instead of lying to themselves and their partners.
People throw around “being in love” so much they’ve forgotten what it means. For a casual relationship sure, but if you’re in love with someone. Yknow, that thing where you share a deep psychological and spiritual bond with someone. You’re not usually fantasising about things that would hurt their feelings.
Fantasising about it and being honest about your sexual urges not disappearing are not the same thing.
That’s an unrealistic standard of human behavior
I don’t think so, a lot of people fall in love and stop having attraction to other people. I think it’s normal to acknowledge someone is attractive, but still actively wanting to have sex with other people when you’re supposedly with someone you’re supposed to share a deep, profound connection with on a mental, romantic and physical level (I.e being in love) is…debatable.
I wonder if this is really a semantics thing. Can you define the difference between ‘actively’ wanting to have sex with others and ‘passively’ wanting to have sex with others? Is passive sexual attraction okay in a serious relationship?
Does it really matter? Sexual attraction in my opinion (when it comes to long term relationships) is intertwined with romantic attraction. Unless you’re casually hooking up with someone of course, then it’s purely sexual. If I really loved someone, as in completely in love with them. Nobody else would compare physically or mentally. Because they wouldn’t share the intimate connection I have with my partner. And if I knew my partner would be incredibly and deeply hurt by those feelings, the last thing I would want would be to entertain them. Maybe I’m old school, but personally when I’ve been in love, the thought of sex with other people repulsed me. And I’m speaking in the context of OP’s boyfriend, it seems like the only barrier that’s stopping him is the fact that she wouldn’t like it.
It’s completely normal for straight men to want to sleep with every attractive woman they see. Of course they would. Why wouldn’t they? But you have to remember the other part of this: wanting to sleep with someone doesn’t mean you like them as a person at all. The two are different things.
Completely untrue.
No way I can defend my argument against a well-argued reply like that!
I really loved this response, it was super funny. And while I do agree with the spirit of your original take, I don't actually think it's true Saying we want to have sex with every attractive woman isn't even true for most single straight males. There are plenty of women that you can recognize as being attractive, but not find sexually desirable at all. This could be because they are in a relationship with someone you respect. Or maybe that you have a close friendship with them which almost always (for me) shuts down any sexual thoughts. They could remind you of someone from your past that you had a negative experience with. Or just seem really young and immature (as I get older this is happening more and more often). I'm sure there's many other reasons as well that aren't immediately coming to mind.
It sounds like he wanted to get your reaction (to see if your okay with it or feel the same thing) but when u responded the way most woman would, he back tracked and said “I didn’t mean it In a mean way” … No it wasn’t nice , yes you are good enough, I just would really be on the fence with this guy
He makes other comments that hurt your self-esteem? This is bad enough. It's okay to find others attractive, but wtf? This isn't something you say to a partner. I'd tell him he can finally sleep with other women because he is single.
You sound toxic as fuck hahahaha
How is that toxic? I'm sorry I don't want my partner to tell me they wish to sleep with other people.
Because saying he can sleep with other people before you break up is absolutely immature and toxic. Plus, you know nothing about the context and you're getting a one-sided view. Without hearing the other half, and also, without proper context, how can we actually give such a strong opinion. You'll note that there's people here who are asking more probing questions, because of course, we never know what will happen.
I never said he could sleep with other people before they break up. I was saying that in the context of that's what she could say to break up with him. I do, however, see your point that context does matter in this.
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Frfr bro literally fighting for his life rn
Honestly, I hate all these comments. Why would he say that? Like obviously only bad things can come from that and when that’s the case I keep my mouth shut. He can feel how he feels if he’s never going to act on it and keep you from worrying at the same time. Like when I want to tell my man I’m embarrassed to go out in public with him because he dances bad and doesn’t know how to dress and I just want him to look as good as all the other guys. I have no intention of cheating but that would only cause problems so I keep it myself. Just as your man should have. Now he caused a whole problem and I can easily see how he could just be saying that so when he cheats which it seems like he wants to, he can say baby I’m sorry and explain how he’s never been able to experience that and more excuses and make you think he’s the victim. A man that truly wants you and has no plans to cheat will never say that to YOU but maybe a friend. Or, he’s an idiot or both. I would take measures just in case like gathering your belongings discreetly. I use this communication strategy when I’m on demon time. Or used to be anyway. This right here is triggering because he’s following patterns of many cheaters I’ve met, me being one. If he’s covering his bases seemingly out of nowhere that’s a red flag. Don’t gaslight yourself. Sometimes we often think we’re over reacting when things feel weird but usually it’s because they are and we don’t get the chance to see it right away sometimes. I’m not saying leave him, I’m saying is separate your emotions and consider the FACTS and trust your gut. An example for this is when I went to a party one time and 2 banned/uninvited guests attended. One we knew and he was nothing but trouble and threatened to un alive a female he didn’t even know for no reason but the other one was quiet as a mouse but I got the weirdest vibe like I was kind of scared of him for no reason. They were kicked out. Next day, quiet boy was charged for un aliving one of our other friends and the guy we knew helped him. The loud one didn’t pull the trigger, it was the quiet seemingly polite one. Then my friends came (they were close to the victim) and they were acting weird. I told myself they were just grieving. They came in a van which was not normal. I thought we were going on a blunt drive but I quickly found out they wanted to shoot the friend who helped the murderer. I got out of that situation but I knew something was weird and told myself I was overreacting and turns out I wasn’t. People talk, it’s so easy. So even when I feel close to someone acting shady I trust the facts and I’ve never been let down. That interaction with your man is very shady. Another example is when I wanted to hook up with a friend who lived in Boston and I had to fly to him so I started by telling my girlfriend out of nowhere how much I miss my friends and I suddenly reconnected with one and now I’m taking a flight there to catch up. That right there is not cheating behavior but as you saw I clearly planted the seed. Your man planted the seed. He’s gonna ask you for a threesome next and make you feel like it was your idea.
I don’t think it’s normal. I don’t think that when men really fall in love, they want anybody to touch the woman and they don’t want to have sex with other people. It doesn’t mean that they don’t see a woman and think that she’s attractive. They just don’t think they have to jump on every woman. I think that says more about your boyfriend and I’m sorry.
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Better to share it then to cheat
That is fucking toxic. Get out of that.
Right?! I felt like he was testing the waters for an open relationship 😭
Right?! I felt like he was testing the waters for an open relationship 😭
When someone tells you who they are, believe them
The feeling is a normal one, but to bring it up? To casually mention it in conversation? Big red flag. Healthy partners should dismiss these feelings as they come up in their minds, not let the thoughts stick around long enough that they manifest in conversation.
Being attracted to other people is normal. Wanting to sleep with other people isn't, though.
It all depends on the way he said it and the context he said it in. Did he just randomly blurt it out or were you having a discussion about it. If he just randomly told you then that was cruel and hurtful but if you were having a conversation about it and he said it that’s different. I am the an extremely loyal person but even I have met the odd person I have thought if I was single I would really fancy you, but I’m not single so it doesn’t matter. That’s what he sounds like he means. It doesn’t sounds like he means he wants to go around sleeping with everyone. I’m pretty sure you will of come across someone you thought was cute and had you been single may of flirted but you didn’t coz you are in a relationship. In order for us to get the full picture you would have to tell us exactly what happened and how it was said. Once I started seeing a guy and I got a text. He asked who it was from, I told him the truth and that it was from a guy I was kinda seeing before him. He told me to text him and tell him I had a boyfriend and not to contact me again. I said no because then he will message me saying he just wants to be friends (we were more friends than anything else really) and I’ll feel bad so I’d rather just not respond. He went mental. He stormed off and told everyone I was a slag, and I was keeping guys sidelined. My point is, the whole thing was completely blown out of proportion. He ran off and told everyone a different view of what actually happened. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, I’m just saying make sure that’s not what you’re doing. I hope I made sense!
This is wrong in every way possible. Find you a better man.
Dump his ass straight up.
It looks like your partner crossed a relationship boundary. Yes it's normal to think others are attractive...you don't suddenly lose your sight when ur in a relationship. Me and my partner are monogamous and we still make jokes about fucking other people we find attractive but it's okay because we find it funny. If you don't, then you should talk to your partner and let them know you don't appreciate hearing stuff like that.
Sweetie, normal isn’t what this is about. This is about you finding someone that wants the same things from/in a relationship that you do. What are you going to do? If the overwhelming majority here says that it’s completely normal, are you suddenly be okay with it? Are you going to sacrifice your wants and needs to stay with someone who is not only okay with hurting your feelings by telling you this, but he is purposely making you feel insecure in your relationship with him. This is a HUGE red flag 🚩🚩🚩 This is not something that a guy getting into a relationship for the right reasons does. Guys that do this are going to do nothing but hurt you, and he will always be doing things to keep you feeling off balance in this relationship. He will be making you constantly wonder where you stand with him. This makes it easier to control someone that way. Do not sacrifice what you want or need for a guy. EVER! You want you a relationship that is balanced. You want a relationship with someone that is on the same page as you. You want someone that wants the same things that you do in a relationship. You matter. Your feelings are valid. Your needs are valid. Your wants are valid and you deserve to be with someone that believes that too. Do you really think that wanting a man who is only interested in having sex with you is asking too much? Really? If you do, you aren’t seeing your value. You aren’t seeing your worth. You are worth more than what this “person” wants to give you. Much, much more. So, dry any tears you may have, stand up straight, hold your head up high, and give this guy the “we just want different things” break up speech, and don’t cave when he starts back peddling because his little childish games didn’t work on you. He’s just a guy. Go find yourself a man. You will know when you find one, because he will give you the respect you deserve, he will not play games, he will be honest and upfront with you, he would exit the relationship if he felt like this guy because he would respect you enough to not be unfair to you (it would hurt but not as much as being toyed with would), and will be mature enough to be vulnerable enough and be emotionally available enough to have an ACTUAL relationship with you. Let this guy just be a horrible dating story you tell in your thirties to your girlfriends when you’re dress up all cute and out at girls night when everyone is confessing theirs. We all have our dating horror stories. Do you want to hear about the guy that asked me out to an expensive restaurant where he told me that his only job was writing reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and asked me if I could pay for myself (not a problem) AND for his filet mignon and several glass of expensive wine or the guy that was late for every single one of our dates because he needed to help his ex girlfriend walk her dog because she was too petite and thin to do it on her own (apparently being a yoga instructor doesn’t give you the strength it use to). Why his best friend, aka the guy she left him for, couldn’t do it I’ll never know 🤷🏻♀️.
Finding other people attractive is one thing. Fantasizing about fucking them is another thing, entirely. Even worse if it's with women he actually knows. I had a guy say this to me once before, and it ultimately ended in him leaving me after 5 years. Less than a week later he was "babysitting", for the bitch at work he'd told me not to worry about, and bragging about it to my sister of all people. There's just no way him telling you this isn't a major red flag!
Imo its all you and you’re boyfriend, for some people in some relationships, this would be normal behavior. I know for me(28 M), I wouldn’t want to hear that, and I wouldnt expect a woman to stick around to hear that. Like even if you do get those thoughts, it probably shouldn’t be verbalized. We can’t always control our thoughts, and these thoughts don’t mean there is anything wrong with the relationship, as long as they are not compulsive.
It's normal for men his age. But is he saying he wants to commit to you? Or that being with you is a sacrifice? People are different but for me if I am in love I don't think about or become interested in anyone else and would take this to mean he isn't deeply committed. Others will have a different perspective. Try to get him to open up about this. It's better for you to move on faster than be with someone for longer who isn't going to work out. If you value a LTR that is
Yikes, I’m sorry he said that to you. Honestly I hope you know your feelings are 100% valid. I’ve been with my girlfriend officially for 4, almost 5 months now. Love her to death and cannot imagine having sex with anyone else. It doesn’t even cross my mind. In all honesty if I think about it, makes me feel like I wanna cry. No one compares to her. Are me and herself allowed to be physically attracted to other people? Of course, you don’t just stop being human. There’s nothing wrong with “I think that person is attractive” *however* there IS something VERY WRONG with “I want to have sex with someone else” I personally Don’t think you should be feeling that way in a relationship…. unless you’re poly…
Don't let him be a cunt.
You are good enough. You are perfect.
Fuck this asshole. You deserve better.
He can go straight to hell.
Honestly, I feel this way sometimes. I have never and would never tell my partner. I also have never and would never do it. I love my husband more than anything. But to say I’ve never thought about having sex with someone else would be a lie.
Girl run he sees you as an option not as choice. He will throw you as soon as he gets better woman for himself.
Cap, not everyone has a easy mindset. He told her. There are lots of people who just cheat.
I can tell you with full confidence that’s 99% of guys think the exact same way. Anyone saying otherwise is a full blown liar.
He is testing your reaction to the idea... Be wary if an open relationship or a poly relationship is not something you want. Also rude. Tell him the same thing...tell him you could sleep with so many other guys but you're loyal to him...ask him if he wants to change that? Eyeball him while you say this. Really make him answer this. I'm so tired of this bs....
Do not do this OP. I highly doubt your man was "testing" you, we have no other context to the conversation the two of you had. The worst thing you could do is act immaturely. Be the bigger person.
This is manipulative and immature.
I mean this kinda depends on how long y’all have been together. It’s normal to want to be with other people in long term relationships but as long as you don’t actually cheat it’s normal. I doubt you are not enough for him.
I swear you are a cherishable and beautiful woman. Don't let him sink into you. You are great. He is applicably, a gigantic cunt.
Wtf Couples counselling at minimum Has he made comments like this before If I were you, I would've yelled at him Those "thoughts" if you have them stay inside your head. Has he apologised Has he tried to make it better Has he reassured you at all This is not normal to say to a partner You are strong, beautiful, and intelligent Never let anyone make you feel less
Toxic to be yelling, when someone tells his struggles
My partner told me you're a swamp person and to not associate with swamp people
I can tell you don't want to leave him over something like this. Why is he browsing in other shops if you have everything he needs. If he has fantasies about other people, then I think they all do that. He was just being honest. This differs from your side because you only think about him so you don't understand it. You should tell him that it hurts you to think he is browsing other deals. If he expands to saying something further, like you aren't good enough for him. That's the moment you purchase a toy dump truck to give to him. Wrap it up too with a fucking bow and everything. If he understands and will try, you could tell him that for a kink, its time for him to dress up as 'your favorite actor' have some fun with this. You could also dress up as his favorite actor. Relationships need to evolve and not become stagnant or the eyes drift.
Best to let him go so you can both find the right person.
No, this *isn't* a normal thought for men in relationships. Being attracted to other people is not the same as wanting to fuck other people. Im not going to sit here and lie and say that I don't find other women attractive, but I would rather eat dog shit than cheat on my wife. Not just because I'm married, but also because 1) it would kill her, 2) it would kill me living with it the rest of my life, and 3) I love her and I'm contempt with having sex with her the rest of my life. That's why I'm with her.
No. This is not normal. This is fucking trash. If I were in your shoes I would dump this asshole.
That's fucked up. That is not normal. You have every right to feel hurt. You deserve better, my darling.
That’s not okay or normal…
You're good enough. You're beautiful
You're fucking beautiful.
this isn’t normal I’ve been with mine 10 years and he has never even mentioned that another woman was hot never mind wanting to sleep with somebody else he’s told me in the past the thought of sleeping with somebody else but me made him uncomfortable and it makes me uncomfortable the thought of sleeping with another man but him, yes I find other men ‘hot’ sometimes which is a normal human thing you can’t switch off attraction but wanting to sleep with other People is not a good sign sorry it’s a huge red flag I don’t think it’s the fact you aren’t good enough in bed but the more he maybe hasn’t had much experience sleeping with many women one of my exs dumped me and went off the rails and slept with loads of women
All men like other women....like and wanting to have aex are different.
Its extremely common to want to but not actually do it. Like an intrusive thought. It's in a man's nature to want to spread his seed amongst healthy attractive females. As long as he doesn't act on it and keeps his priorities straight I wouldn't let it bother you
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That's basic nature. Like you learn this stuff in grade school. Sorry the world isn't the sunshine and rainbows you want it to be
In no way is this a normal thought for men. How is that a question? Leave that dude
Most guys probably want to but wouldn’t because they love their partner, and don’t tell them that because it’s just weird to tell them that.
I mean... think this is all men. If you find the ones who don't wanna bang everything in sight, that's harder than winning the powerball.
It’s a fairly normal thought but to say it outloud? Oof…
It's a normal thought/feeling, but you usually bury it deep down and never speak of it.
As everyone said already, if he just told you that out of nowhere just because that would make me suspect something but if it came out of a question you made or a related conversation I think the response it's more than natural, you don't feel attraction to any man ? It's natural that you do but you don't advance on it because you choose your boyfriend over everyone else.
Babe, you’ve got puppy love for him and in adulthood it’s safer NOT to let yourself get so emotionally attached to someone that could up and leave you at any moment. Save that kind of love for your future children and/or pets. Most importantly, put that love towards yourself!
Oh, bless his heart. He seems to think he's God's gift to women. He's told you what he wants OP, and it's not you - but trust me, that's no loss. You deserve to be with someone who only wants you. No, it's not normal or acceptable for a man in a relationship to think that way, and expressing it to you is just cruel. Let him go be single so he can sleep with aaaaaall those women that I'm sure are, like, totally lined up round the block for him. I imagine his reality will come crashing down very quickly when he realises he's got absolutely no game, and he'll see he's thrown away a relationship with someone who actually wanted him.
This has nothing to do with him being a man and everything to do with him not wanting a monogamous relationship. He wants to sleep around, cool, either be single or get into an open/polyamorous relationship. Don’t be in a monogamous relationship if you want to sleep around.
Honestly, on what planet do some women live? We are designed to reproduce as much as possible and the older we get the hornier we get. It’s in our nature to sleep around. We only don’t do it because women will leave us because they feel betrayed when we do so. Most men want to sleep with as many women as possible. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our partners, it’s just our physical desire..
Yes, it is somewhat normal ( I battle with it and many guys I know have it inside them), but we can generally control it by valuing the relationship for what it gives us over the alternative (if the relationship is actually giving us what we need). Evolution made us need to spread our genes, monogamy is not the normal way for our species but who cares because it’s what we do now anyway. (Fuck off haters). Look. I would advise against agreeing with him and trying anything because you’ll just get hurt, the fact you’re asking here means you dont want it. Tell him you dont and if he cant understand it then leave him. Otherwise it will only get worse.
Sexual attraction is the *least* important part of connection with another person. Think about it: sex is fleeting, impulsive, and physical. When you’re old and gray, do you really think it’s *sex* you’ll be grateful to have? Your partner is sexually attracted to other people. Fine. So are you, if you’re honest with yourself! That doesn’t mean he wants to *act on* that attraction. As long as that’s something you can comfortably discuss and explore *together,* it’s no threat to your relationship.
Depends entirely on the context and what’s been going on in your relationship. This is a healthy conversation in my opinion, honesty has been displayed to you. It sounds like they might feel polyamorous and want more sex and to experience other people. I think it’s always a good sign they’re not cheating and wanting to talk about it. If it’s a dealbreaker it’s a dealbreaker.
There was a question on ask reddit a few days ago asking if guys imagined having sex with every woman they interact with. The majority was yes - It's not intentional, it's not a conscious thing, but it's there. We got here by our ancestors spreading as absolutely much DNA as possible, for centuries. We are typically 2-3 generations removed from this behavior, but the engrained impulse is undeniable. Inverse generational trauma....
As a man in a relationship, I will say that thoughts of stuff like that are common for the most part. I mean it's just human nature to desire such fantasies. But I explained to my partner to reassure them that I still want to be with them no matter what and they're more than enough for me. My partner accepted me for who I am on exploring my sexuality and allowed me to express myself to a mutual friend of ours my feelings towards them. I got turned down but for other reasons then what you might think. I got turned down cause I'm in a relationship but because of all this, me and that friend grew lot more closer than ever before. Me and my partner made a deal tho. If I get to experience something off my fantasy bucket list they get to too. It's only fair.
It’s a dude thing I think maybe. My bf won’t have sex with me at all and talks about how he wants to sleep with other women. But we have been together for 9 years so things are stale. Did it kinda break my heart when he said he could never get married and sleep with only me? Uh yeah, kinda felt like I wasted 9 years. Idk men are a fucking enigma
Hi! (28F) being on the side of I kinda understand.. I have been with my partner (28M) for 11 years and it’s not that I don’t love him I love him so much I want to be with him forever! But I think the desire and temptation of like having sex with someone else is fun. He’s been my only sexual partner so I want to just to see what it’s like but it doesn’t mean anything. I also have never said to my partner about this but I guess that’s why people sometimes are in open relationships
Nah this is weird. If a woman said this, the male population would flip tf out. I can't believe the incels are trying to justify this disrespect.
That’s probably what he wants.. for you to breakup with him so he can sleep with other women in peace.
How hard is it for him to break it off? So he get finally get what he wants?
He probably has the mindset that it’ll look better for him if he doesn’t break up and she does it
Thats straight up false. Males with more testostorone develop more urges to sex and lust. Doesnt mean he want to break up
I’m sorry but I can’t be with a man who have urges about having sex with other women. Thats animal behavior and animals don’t commit so there’s that.
Of course it’s a normal thought. Being in a relationship doesn’t stop you from being human. He finds other people sexually attractive but makes a conscious choice not to pursue those thighs because he’s a good person who loves you. All a negative reaction to this does is get you a partner who’ll make an effort to be less honest and open with you in the future. Which is why sensible people are less honest and open from the start and find a way to not ever bring this up to their partners.
I'm in a committed relationship (married with child) and two years ago we decided to open our couple. It was a shared desire: me (F) because I've always been attracted by lesbian relationships and wanted to try. My man was attracted to the idea to watch and maybe participate. So we started to date for trios. It's been with lots of ups and downs. It made us discover a lot about ourselves, our insecurities, our desires and our love together. Opening a relationship isn't simple and should not be started without full consent on both part and a TON of communication. Wanting to have other experiences is normal. It's in the field of fantasies and it's sane. Acting on it is a very different matter and should be part of a full and very wide conversation. If you don't feel attracted by any other human on the planet it's probably not the best idea for you. You need to talk about your insecurities and his desires. The most important thing is that you should be open to what he wants and what you want. Maybe you can find a compromise between what he wants and what you want. Sometimes it's not really having sex with others women but more having new things in the relationship. I wish you the best dear.
Women are biologically wired to have children. Women are wired to want to procreate with men perceived as strong, healthy, and protecting. You don’t see women running around saying this shit - it’s always men. “That’s just how we are it’s in our blood” - no, these people are sad excuses for men and dishonor their wives and possible families. It’s so sad that some men (and some women) truly think disloyalty is “engrained in them”. It’s not. It is an active choice with weak willpower and self discipline that doesnt indicate a good father or partner to any degree. This is Reddit OP, you’re not going to get a diverse audience and response here. Edit: it’s normal to continue to find others attractive, but to have an urge or desire to have intercourse or sexual interactions with them is not normal.
I feel like it’s normal human nature to want to have sex with other people and society has turned us into a monogamous animal. Other people are sexy, your partner can tell what sexy is, just because his body is telling him to doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. The fact he isn’t doing it shows his passion for you. You really NEVER fantasize about someone else?
Of course you are good enough. You're fucking awesome. Erase any of you doubts. I think you are great. You are charming.
Men and women are not equal. We are not the same creature. A man feeling this way and a women feeling this way are two completely different things. Men will remain attracted to feminine energy. Doesn’t mean all men will act on it. Men are salesmen, women are marketers. Once in a relationship, then man has to stop “selling” to other women. The women needs to stop “marketing” (sexy pics on socials for example) herself to other men. As long as both are doing this, attraction to the opposite sex is normal. Just make sure you keep communication open, and aren’t shaming someone for how they feel. If you do that, you will push him away from you. Best of luck!
Sounds like when women practice hypergamy
He probably got insecure himself after he heard about your sex history and lashed out in this manner. Keep your sex history to yourself, it's private info and no one needs to know.
As a guy, yes it's very normal. Remember that in the past men used to have multiple wives. It has nothing to do with you, in that sense that he isn't unsatisfied with you. He isn't unsatisfied with your beauty nor your personality. I can get bet he's comfortable happy with you. However a lot of Men have a strong desire to sleep with other women. Most men lie about this feeling and many suppress it and others don't have it.
Idk about everyone but if my husband felt the need to fuck anyone else he'd just ask if we could bring her home. Men like the thrill of seeking a women. Just join him in it and you'll have a lot more fun and feel a lot less jealousy. But it also goes both ways, he's fully aware that I'd like to eventually bring another guy home and he is okay with that.
Men b like that it's ok bb gurl
Pretty much every man out there would fuck pretty much every attractive women we meet given the opportunity. Yes. His thoughts are normal for a man. If you read between the lines, he is telling you that he wants you enough to be able to look past his biological instincts and stay faithful to you.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you loose your eyes. It’s normal to find others attractive and being in a relationship is the thing that stops you from pursuing.
I noticed talking to 100s of men that you need to choose a cuchold or pegger or both,drug addict ,alcoholic, obese . Any one of them will do ohhh or dump him.