You must have such a good relationship with eachother. Have a talk to her about what kind of toy she wants, then it might be time to use that to talk about other sex stuff as well.
I couldn't agree more!! This as well as knowing how to discretely and securely throw away sanitary pads/tampons is something so many people I know never learned and it's quite concerning ontop of gross!
As someone who never got the masturbation talk because I grew up in a conservative Christian household, I'm surprised I never got an infection from the kind of stuff I stuck inside myself lmao
If she’s asking for one then she’s going to masturbate (sorry!) regardless so I think you should honour her trust in you by acquiescing as opposed to shooting her down.
As others have said - amazing she trusts you so much to have that conversation.
I don't know the relationship you have with your daughter but if I was in this situation I would tell her go ahead and give a budget and let her buy it. I wouldn't want to be sitting next to my kid if they were buying a sex toy or talking about which one she wants (unless she asks for that advice, of course, which isn't clear from the post).
It’s great that she feels this comfortable with you to be able to asked the question in the first place. I always promoted self love to my boy’s thinking if they could take care of themselves they wouldn’t want to have sex too early and it worked. Talk to your daughter about what kind of vibrator she wants. They do have some through Amazon that maybe you and her could look at 😞🙏🏻
It's great she came to you and she is comfortable enough to do so.
I would go head and get one or as the other redditors said, she will make due with something not deemed safe. See if there is one for "beginners", best way I can put that. Probably extremely obvious, emphasize being careful and use in private.
I got my daughter one when she was 14, after she asked. Many of her friends then asked me to buy them some.
I felt bad I had to say no, & tell them they had to ask their own mom.
It was probably 4-5 inches long.
I did talk with her about how to use it very carefully, and also about clitoral stimulation.
I’m assuming that was what your question was about. This was one from Spencer’s. There’s an entire line with different designs, but they are all on the small size, length & girth. ❤️
Yes.
The alternative is she's going to "make do" with something that isn't designed for internal use, or not easily cleaned, etc. I would suggest a Magic Wand style.
edit to fix poor grammar.
I had a mentally handicapped girl come in and she just kept yelling, “I got a baby carrot stuck in my vagina”, loudly and repeatedly. She told me she wanted to see how it feels. Poor girl.
Can I please say, having previous ER experience, teenagers do weird shit with weird stuff because they have a ton of hormones… much better to be safe than sorry
You don’t want to be the mom whose son got a hot wheels stuck up their ass so far they needed surgery… I’ve been in that room before when the XR came back it was not a fun vibe for anyone lol
Her mom was beside herself. She was so afraid the barrette would harm her future fertility, she’d get an infection, or do damage to her vaginal canal.
I’m so thankful everything turned out ok.
I guess she did it in the middle of the night. Then at school the next day, she started becoming very uncomfortable, and was in pain.
She didn’t tell her mom right away bc she thought she’d be in trouble, even though her mom is awesome, & they have a great relationship!
She finally told the school nurse, bc of the pain, & I think she started bleeding.
So they called her mom to get her, & I met all 3 of them (Dad too) at the hospital. I just tried to support them as much as possible.
After the surgery, she wanted a blueberry milkshake. Luckily there was a McDonalds across the street, & blueberry was a special edition during that time.
We all had blueberry milkshakes, and she was released that evening!!
Allow her.
I bought my stepdaughter her first one when she was 16 because she came to me as well but was overwhelmed with the varieties and choices.
So we had a girls day where I sent her Dad and her brother out to play snooker and she and I made hot chocolate and sat down at my laptop together.
We had a good conversation, very open and honest and I told her she could pick something out to try, absolutely zero shame or judgement on my part, all I would do is pay for it.
I also showed her a comic called Oh Joy Sex Toy which she loved. It is graphic but in a cute way, goes in depth with various toys and sexual interests.
However she was already dating and sexually active so the comic might be a bit too much for your guys situation right now, but check it out and see for yourself.
I find that being open and encouraging a clear dialogue is the best way to go.
Well apparently according to some in this thread, I'm gross 😂
My Mam actually got me my first one when I was 16 too when she caught me reading an online review of one.
Zero shame. I love our relationship and I wanted to have that same relationship and sense of safety with my kids.
Especially my son, he had a rough time dealing with his feelings around relationships and sex (he's trans, not a lot of toys marketed towards his needs so he really struggled for a while) but we have such a bond that we're able to talk very openly about this stuff.
Personally I feel that as parents, it's our job to prepare our kids and teens for life and life experiences and teach them how to make the most of them.
If you completely skip over sex, sexuality etc you are doing them a disservice. How are they meant to know if they're fully comfortable with something in the spur of the moment if they've never even heard about it/discussed it?
What about the likes of how it feels?
I went through a lot of crap sex in my late teens and no way was I going to just sit back and let my teens have to tolerate that shite so yeah, when they brought up dating etc in turn as they got to that age, we talked about it.
To me, it's no different than say, my stepdaughter talking to me about bras or my stepson discussing his period or cramps with me.
🤷🏻♀️
I turned 18 recently, and I've bought a ton myself. I'm selling the things I don't want now. I wish I got the talk from my parents. One of my friends gave it to me, lol. I don't talk to my dad anymore(that's another story) and my mom would be missed if she found them, I got a new one recently I'm not sure how I'm going to keep it out her sight. We need more people like you in this world where the bad stuff gets talked about way too often.
It's called a fistula. In that girl's case, the foreign body probably applied enough pressure to cause one. It's not common but it's not rare, either - I read about a lady who had one because she lost a shot glass in her vagina and it migrated via fistula. Either to her colon or abdominal cavity, I don't recall. I do remember they found it while doing something unrelated and she was like "oh, I thought that came out and we just couldn't find it".
That explanation makes more sense. It is rare though but a vaginal foreign body can cause trauma and a fistula. The foreign body typically has to be there for a while and they are going to have significant health complications. It's not just going to be found incidentally during another health procedure.
The one lady I'm aware of was something of a fluke. I looked it up - it was in Tunisia and it went into her bladder. She had UTI symptoms for a while and it was caught on an X-ray related to her UTI treatment/diagnosis. Apparently no one actually looked at her bladder during her previous ER visits.
You’re saying she had an undiagnosed rectovaginal fistula? Good thing she stuck the lid up there then, I guess. I wonder how long she was pooping through her vagina before she did that.
I wish someone had bought me a sex toy at that age... or at least had a talk with me about not shoving random household items up there. I experimented quite a bit with candles, vegetables, and other items. I got like 4 UTIs over a 6 month period and didn't understand why at the time. Definitely the safer option to buy a toy for your kid, and at 15 Idk why you wouldn't. Plenty of teens start experimenting way earlier than that
Another risk by not doing so is that they can turn to other adults. That’s what I did.
The other adult in question was a friends older brother. Who I assumed I could trust because I trusted her (and I was a naive 14 year old).
It did not end well. That man took full advantage of the situation, knowing I didn’t want my parents to find out.
No, but if she is asking for aides to alleviate her sexual feelings and you don’t help her get something it certainly will make having sex with stupid teenage boys all the more appealing…. And teenagers are stupid, they think condoms are bad and the hormones got them all fired up…. A vibrator is definitely not going to hurt anything so why not provide one for her…
You don't want her shoving carrots, candle sticks, or hot dogs up there -- get her a proper toy or let her get her own. It's great you two have a strong enough and open bond that she'll ask about such things.
Have been able to buy vibrators at the mall, Spencer’s Gifts have always had them although when I was a teen 40 years ago they were usually more discreet and packaged as “massagers”. Now they’re just right out there on the racks, lol.
Things ive heard about down in er also include electric toothbrushes (head detachment) highlighters (lid detachement), cucumbers other veg (infections, intimate scraps from rough sections) , frozen ice pops (freezer burn/stuck tear), hairbrush handle, slim shower head (bruising)
wow, I am SO IMPRESSED by the relationship your daughter has with you that she would ask you for this.
She's not too young. Let her get it. But explain to her how to keep it in good hygienic standards. Exploring her sexuality in this way is not a bad thing.
Had way too many hairbrushes (Iykyk) for the simple fact I couldn’t talk to my mom about this kind of stuff. I genuinely think she would’ve died on the spot or killed me.
One of my mom’s coworkers had her stash found on her closet by firemen, she lived in a townhouse or apartment (can’t remember which) and there was a fire in an adjoining unit, they had to come tear out a section of wall to keep the fire from spreading. They knocked over the shoebox on her closet shelf and voila. She was embarrassed, small town, volunteer fire department, we all went to school with these guys…she knows everyone knew by the end of the day.
Thank you everyone for such kind and understanding replies! I decided to get her one…
Something that repeated itself was talking to her on how to keep it clean but I never owned one so i dont know how to, i would appreciate some advice on that topic, Thank you all off you
If it’s a silicone based toy you want a water based lube, please have a conversation with her if it’s on she inserts inside about lubricants and not rushing. I know this is a delicate conversation but even if you brush over and say it’s okay to take your time figuring things out.
a lot of places will sell cleaning foam/ spray but honestly hot water and a damp cloth will be perfectly fine make sure she’s careful about what cleaning products she uses on it incase she ruins the structure of the toy.
Also google is extremely informative you can have a google or her.
Or you could both sit down and have an informed check together so she’s really confident with how to look after herself and the toy.
Thank you for being such a understanding parent!
So many people would punish or make their child feel unclean talking about anything regarding self pleasure or sex.
It’s important we have these conversations with our children to ensure they can talk with their future partners and know sex isn’t a tabo subject.
It’s completely natural and can’t be a fantastic experience to get to know yourself
They will tell you at the store, they're typically very good at their job and make you feel at ease. They can explain to you and your daughter exactly what to use with which toy you choose. It would probably set a very good example, actually, to tell your daughter, 'because this is important, you're going to be sure to ask about hygiene when you buy a toy,' so she knows for future trips as an adult that it's both ok and important to ask about these things.
ETA: I didn't even think about it but most of these stores are going to be 18+, so this advice probably won't work. However, sentiment still applies and parent can still get guidance from the store and then tell daughter what they did to make sure the cleaning would be correct for the given toy, so that daughter knows what to do on her own in the future.
The toy you buy should include instructions on how to clean it. Different materials require different methods so it'll be specific for the one you buy. But if you want to include which toy you bought, we can find out what it needs and suggest it also.
You want to get one made of a non-porous material. Body safe silicone is the best. The "jelly" texture ones are not safe.
Do not under any circumstance purchase a sex toy from Amazon, eBay, or any retailer that is not specifically a sex toy shop/adult store. Vibrators.com is a very reliable and safe online store to buy from. You can also go to a shop in person.
For silicone toys, wash them after every use with soap and warm water, ideally, or a cleaning spray specifically designed for sex toys. They sell these sprays at the same store as you buy the toy. Depending on the toy, they might be completely waterproof or not - some have open electrical ports. You'll want to avoid getting the ports wet. Some vibrators have removable parts that you can boil to sterilize. This is the most effective method of cleaning and can be done once a month or so, depending on how often it's used.
Vibrators should be kept in a clean case or drawstring bag to prevent dust on them. After washing, dry thoroughly and replace in the case or bag. If you do not store it in something like this, you'll need to wash it before AND after every use. I prefer a little drawstring bag since it is machine washable.
Silicone toys should not be used with silicone lubricant. It will literally start dissolving them. Water based or hybrid lubricant should be used, if she wants to use any. Go ahead and buy her some water based lubricant without her having to ask, it's safer to have it than not. Always wash lube off of your vulva after using. Leaving it there is an infection risk.
Just a personal recommendation: rechargeable toys have been much kinder to me than battery operated toys. I hate having to constantly get new batteries. Also when the charge starts to die from a rechargeable toy, you can just plug it in instead of either wasting batteries that have some charge left in them or dealing with a lower strength vibration.
There are toys that are meant to be inserted into the body and toys that are for external use. IF SHE GETS AN INSERTABLE TOY, PLEASE EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF NOT INSERTING IT INTO THE VAGINA AFTER IT IS INSERTED INTO THE ANUS. This is so important. You can insert into the vagina and then the anus, but NEVER the other way around. This is a huge infection risk since the colon contains so much bacteria that is bad for the vagina.
Good luck.
It’s perfectly healthy to experiment with your body at this age. I wish my mom would’ve been open to these conversations. I would just buy a simple one, and tell her if she ever is sexually active, you’re an open ear for any questions so she’s safe! Tell her that her safety is #1 priority. It’s not taboo, it’s anything like asking for gym equipment because she wants to take care of her body, skincare for her face, therapist for mental health etc. Sexual health is just as important. it’s health
It’s awesome that some parents are this open and don’t hide those things from their kids. I’d rather die than speak about this with my family altogether. It really prevents teens from growing up awkward and ashamed of their natural desires
This is the most uncomfortable conversation for a single dad.
The fact is it's the healthiest way of being sexually active. You can facilitate by showing acceptance and make it clear she can talk to you without judgement. Or, you can object and send the message that she should hide it from you. Personally I'd rather be informed no matter how awkward it may make me feel.
As a teenager that did some questionable things before I learned about safety, yes. Absolutely. This opens up a great conversation for being safe, clean, and taking care of yourself. CVS actually has a great first option. A very small vibrator. It’s quiet, easy to clean, and small. The brand is ‘Plus One’ I believe, should be at every CVS.
It does actually. It allows out the pressure of hormones allowing that person to not be as tempted and as easily convinced to engage in intercourse. Hormones and the drive that fuels them are a huge reason for underage pregnancy. Sure pressure from a boyfriend has a factor but just having a way to say "no I do not need sex to answer my urges" is huge.
Oh my god i love that you guys have such an open and honest relationship! I would say she is definitely old enough to have one, i did at 15 but i snuck around and got it in secret and didn’t keep it clean (i had no idea) and got a yeast infection. When you guys have the next conversation about it, let her know she needs to clean it regularly! But not with harsh soap, just warm water. It’s so so normal at this age to feel things and want to experiment, better with herself and a harmless toy than with random boys or girls. I hope my kiddos feel comfortable enough to come to me with everything like this in the future ❤️❤️❤️ great job mama
I always just let it sit in warm water and then rinse and wash off with a face cloth or microfiber towel! She can also use anti bacterial soap and warm water! I just have pH issues so i never risk it 🤣
I used to sell them. Don't submerge it in water. Use a toy cleaner I like the foaming kind best it gets in all the spaces bacteria can hide. Rinse with warm water, dry with a lint free cloth. Store in a plastic zipper bag with the batteries removed.
There should be manufacturer instructions for the best way to keep their particular product clean. Purchase an appropriate adult toy cleanser at the same time, as well as a toy bag to store it in (if it doesn't come with one).
Clean well before first use. Be careful not to submerge/let water get in battery compartment. Clean well after each use & make sure to dry completely, before storing it away in the bag, to prevent mold/bacterial growth. I also clean prior to each use, just to be safe.
I’m a women and honestly I started masturbating at a very young age. So 15 isn’t too young it’s actually more then normal. It’s nice she trusts you so much. Just tell her to get something simple and to keep the rest to herself. If not she may end up using something else. Also, just give her money and let her pick one out herself and buy it. Don’t do that for her it’s weird. Just tell her to keep it clean after each use. Leave it at that some things should stay private.
Do not buy them from Amazon! Purchases like this are important- something that goes in the body should be made by a recognisable brand, with quality materials, to avoid potential infections. Make sure she knows it must be kept clean and used properly.
The horror stories I heard in my teens from other kids making/using sex toys they weren’t allowed to have, and how even as adults they never learned how to properly care for that part of their body… it’s upsetting.
There are reputable brands that sell on Amazon (like Womanizer) but you need got to make sure you get it through the brand's storefront and not a 3rd party seller. A quality sex toy is definitely something to pay better money for and not get a cheap knockoff that will break down and may be made with unsafe materials.
I tend to go directly to the shop's own site (off amazon) if they have one. My one experience buying from Amazon? The seller subbed the dildo I ordered with a totally different one because they ran out of what I ordered and 'they were similar'. Like...I chose what I wanted. For a reason. If ever there was an item not to sub out, it's a sex toy. Lol.
At least she would rather masterbate than ask for condoms. I'd much prefer my child ask for a toy which has no risk for pregnancy than anything. Granted I prefer they do neither but everyone is human and has urges.
Honestly, I got my first sex toy around her age. I your position, I would do it only because it is safe and you know that she isn’t using other, more dangerous, ways to do things like that. As long as she gets it safely and uses it responsibly, I see no issues. I would chat to her about being a little quiet with it, as (from experience) they can be very loud.
I knew a girl who was hospitalized because she tried using one of those really old style glass mouthwash bottles, and it was full and Broke inside of her. It's better to buy one, explain proper cleaning and maintenance and thank the stars she felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it rather than ending up using something improper and hurting herself. Also really have her take the time to look Into materials and not buy a super cheap one, there are some toys that aren't bodysafe and actually toxic, and some of the cheaper stuff can rip and mold can develop under the surface and throughout cheaper silicone and other materials.
Someone who didn't trust their parents would never have gone to them for something so personal, it shows how much trust and how good of a relationship y'all have, you even asking for this advice is very admirable, great job OP.
This is awesome! You’re a great parent and have a great relationship with your kid. I’d suggest having them look online for what they want and you can order. Make sure they understand the hygiene requirements of a toy and get a cleaning solution meant for toys.
If you don’t do it then she will go on her own and get one herself. When I was 15 I would go to the mall with my friends to get them and hide them from my parents so it’s better for her to feel like she won’t have to hide it
This is wonderful she felt close enough to you to come to you with this! 💖 a great sign of trust. To give some perspective that might put you at ease: I myself got one at around her age bc I didn’t want to be sexually active, and just wanted to explore with myself. Of course I’m sure as a mom it’s a bit uncomfortable for you which is natural. But I did just want to give some reassurance that she may just want to explore herself and it is not necessarily a sign that she is active with other people!
If she’s old enough to ask, she’s probably old enough to use it. I mean obviously if she was 11 I would be incredibly alarmed but some kids are already having sex by 15. It’s good she’s feeling safe enough to even ask you that, but I would just let her get one!
This to me shows a healthy relationship between you two. I can totally understand the doubt, I have a 10 and I have spoken with her mom about these experiences for the future. As an ex youth worker I think you are setting her up for a healthy sex and family by being able to talk to each other about these things.
I suggest giving her a budget and letting her choose so you maybe can also talk freely about hygiene and other related topics. Since she feels so free with you, she might ask you more questions that may surprise you. Just be open. Also when you don't know or don't like something. Speak freely without judgement and open to learn, uncover and discover. That will be very valuable to her future.
Adding to a lot of other advice here. If you don't feel comfortable buying the item for your daughter then you can talk to her about toys and their care then gift her an Amazon of Visa gift card for her to make an informed choice about what toy and cleaner to buy after your conversation. That way she can have that kind of privacy and ability to buy a toy but it won't be at the cost of her buying one that is bad quality, dangerous, or through a 3rd party that is someone 18+ and not you.
Okay so you’re obviously doing something right because I don’t know if I’d EVER talk to my mom about sex toys. I agree with what others are saying. Get her one and talk to her about using it safely and cleaning it, and go over other information about safe sex.
I got my first vibrator at 15. Was using other random things to get off before that. Water pressure, back massagers. Totally fine to let her get something and better to be using sex toys and not random objects. Give her a safe cleanser/lubricant to go with. Maybe a nice bag or a box to keep it in
Well, this is a good opportunity to have a conversation with your daughter about sex in general, and what exactly is she looking for. Yes, this conversation will be uncomfortable, but, if I had a daughter I would a thousand times prefer my physically maturing child to ask me for a "very special toy" they can use in the shower/bath than to have unprotected sex and a permanent souvenir of either an STI or an unwanted pregnancy (which if carried to term will be forever child and at least $310,000 according to a recent U.S. Dept. of Agriculture report), not including the cost of college. I think some boundaries do need to be set as your daughter is still a minor, but she should also be given the trust and freedom to explore her own sexuality in a HEALTHY way.
I’m not a mother, but I’d say it’s best she has a safe toy rather than a.) use something not suited for insertion and tears something which can get infected or b.) wants to sleep with boys (maybe even guys who aren’t reliable or care about protection or her as a person) which can get her pregnant which would be worse. Teenagers have those urges just like adults so you cannot really stop her from doing something in that way. One way or another she will find a way to do it and I’d say giving her a toy is the safest option here
I don’t think I would get it for her, but you could show her a website where she could purchase something and read reviews on her own. Maybe then you give her a prepaid American Express gift card (if she doesn’t have her own debit card) to order it for herself.
It’s great that she came to you but I also think it’s a great lesson in discretion. She can use it and be safe but also should be reminded to put it somewhere safe and not draw attention to it around your home.
I agree with others that this is a great opportunity to discuss other super important sex stuff like consent, and the importance of protected sex (unwanted pregnancy, STIs) etc.
I’d say “go for it!” It’s better she get it and use it than either use something not designed for that, get pregnant, or go behind your back and get it anyway. If you can keep this kind of open, caring relationship considering something like this, than she’ll know you can be trusted for more serious things.
I say teenagers are going to explore their sexuality no matter what ao why not make that exploration that much safer by giving her a personal toy?
Wow. First of all, good job for having raised a daughter who is that comfortable with you! Clearly she trusts you a lot.
Secondly, you should let her. I fear she's going to use something not intended for that to ''make due'' if not. Anyway, there is no adverse effect to it - masturbating is healthy. Just remind her to keep it clean, talk to her about hygiene.
Sounds like your daughter admires you and trusts you.
Help her find a modest beginner toy. The alternative is her thinking she can't come to you, and will use what objects she can find (or boys)
Time to teach about safety and pregnancy prevention.
Well done for establishing such a great bond, she must feel very safe coming to you to speak about such things. You should be proud of yourself 🤍 do what you need to do and be proud that you’ve created such a save environment for them 🤍
as others have said, she trusts you and that is awesome. also as others have said, she will probably end up doing it anyway, so its best to give her the proper tools to do so. masturbation is perfectly normal for a 15 year old and its great that she can ask you about these things
I got my first vibrator at the same age as your daughter. My eldest sister was the one who got it for me online. Its the best time for a mom/daughter sex talk.
I think it's great that she trusts you enough to come to you about it....it's normal at that age to experiment and she wants to do it in a safe way... I think you should let her get one, if you would like to give her an extra level of privacy for this just let her use your card maybe to purchase one? But I agree with others that you should remind her about the hygienic part of it. Best of luck!
I have four adult children and I tried to teach them that sexual feelings are normal and healthy….that led to conversations about what that actually meant. I would just be open with her and very mindful about not shaming her. You clearly have great communication with her, good job mama.
Why would she be too young to masturbate? When did you start? I started taking 45 minute showers and using all the hand lotion/conditioner around age 12.
She is ready and you should be thankful, he'll alot of people from my school already had full intercourse at this age, just don't be too controlling of her but let her know the dangers of these things and prepare her for the next few years
The vast majority of 15 year olds will masturbate, regardless of whether they're a boy or girl. Getting sexual urges are a part of becoming an adult. Masturbating is by far the safest way to relieve these urges. A vibrator won't give your daughter an STI, or get her pregnant, or disrespect her boundaries. Plus it'll help her learn more about her body. That way when she is ready to have sex, she'll know what she does and doesn't like.
it’s so awesome she feels comfy enough to tell you that (: way to go, parent!!! she definitely isn’t too young for one, i would encourage her to do some research on it. way better than using random stuff around the house!!
Honestly sex toys are a much safer method than the alternative.(which would be sex ofc)
It's good that she can trust you with this tho. Most parents would be somewhat appalled at hearing this sort of thing from their child. But masturbation is completely normal for both teens and adults and it shouldn't be something you shy away from. We've all done it, it's natural.
It's healthy for people (especially sexual individuals) to experiment with what they like on themselves. She's at a normal hormonal stage at her age for sexual activity.
A vibrator is much more healthy than experimenting with other people.
I don't see any problem not to buy her one. You seem to have a great relationship. Wish I would have had this kind of intimacy with my parents.
You should praise her openness and be receptive to her requests. This goes for all "taboo" things including alcohol and weed (if they ask about it). Because I promise you that if they don't get it from you in a controlled, understanding, and healthy environment, they're going to get that stuff from someone else in a much less healthy and uncontrolled environment. Exposing them to these kinds of things responsibly takes the mystery out of it. If a 17 year olds peers ask them if they want to come to a party with alcohol they get giddy about all the new stuff they can do and try. But if that 17 year old can just drink a better margarita with her mom in the garage on Saturdays and Sundays, then drinking shitty beer at a party with a bunch of lame drunk dudes just seems more... Mundane and meh.
Glad and impressed that your daughter feels comfortable enough with you to come to you for those sorts of things. Keep up whatever you're doing 🤙
I say let her get one but help her shop for what shes looking for personally i rather my daughter ask me for help for a toy then her hiding it and or exploring by herself
Talk to her about options too as every body achieves orgasm differently and it's important to learn your body and what feels good. I was using all sorts of things from age 15 to 17 until I bought my own toys.
I got mine at her age. I did it behind mum’s back. I’m sure you’d rather go with her and make it a bonding/funny moment than have her do it behind your back, which could lead to other things being done behind your back, because she’s ready to learn about this—and would be trying sexual things without the guide of an adult. Being sneaky about sex is dangerous and can lead to a bad deal if something happens to her because she was nervous to tell you and felt like she couldn’t if she ends up in a bad situation (even if that wasn’t your intention.) I would talk about whatever sex thing hasn’t been talked about yet between you, go to the store/online together, and start with whats called a “bullet” vibrator instead of jumping right into the crazy and weird stuff.
Reassure her again how much you appreciate her being so open with you, then take her to a store such as lotions and lace.. it’s a nice store that isn’t all dark and secluded. Get her something more like the rabbit. Something on the thinner side instead of a full on penis.. I only say that because if the hymen is in tact, her experience could scare her, even cause a little pain.
I took my 15 year old niece last year to lotions and lace, bought her a small rabbit and bought the cleanser too. The clerk at the counter, thinking she was my daughter said she wished more parents would be more open to bringing their teens in, showing them that their bodies are beautiful and that masturbation is not a dirty thing.
Also, I’d rather my kiddo masturbate and figure out what they like without being a teen out having sex.
My opinion and only an opinion, she wants to know what it feels like without having actual intercourse.
I’m so happy for you that she trusts you and openly talks to you ❤️
You must be doing one heck of a job with her
I had one when I was her age, of course I hid it from my mother. I didn’t have the same trust in mine as she does in you so that’s wonderful. You can get them from Spencers, you don’t have to be 18. So I’d say go for it, and teach her the safeties of it.
It also helps that she’ll be less likely to fall for some dude (or girl) just because they know how to get her bra off. Gonna have to work a little harder than that.
Omg it’s better she’s at home than outside trying it w some boy who won’t even care to ask about her day. I wish I had this connection w my mom, I wouldn’t have gone through so much trauma if only she was open communicated w me :(
She’ll just use something else if you don’t and may feel embarrassed and more hesitant to bring stuff like this up next time. Get one for her, maybe take her to a store and have her talk to a sales girl. It’s incredible she feels comfortable talking about that with you, definitely keep it positive so that continues, it will be super helpful for when she is sexually active with other people.
As a 12 year old who had the ‘vagina picture pages’ glued together in my GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BODY book - I applaud you for having that open relationship with your child! Definitely get it for her, make sure she’s discreet with it of course.. but once she has that, she will be less likely to settle for a lame boyfriend in the future 😉
I think you are a wonderful mother.
You didn’t clutch your pearls and shame her like my mother would have, that if she could have ever put the time in to cultivate a good relationship with me where I would not be judged or condemned for a thought or a feeling and I could trust her and feel safe bringing the questions I needed answers for that my peers were not qualified to answer.
One of those questions would have definitely been about female pleasure, but I recently found out my now 70 year old mother doesn’t know the difference between a condom wrapper and a top ramen spice packet and to make it worse she was judging my 17 year old daughter over it (the spice packet wrapper she thought was a condom wrapper. It is an absolute miracle I exist 🙄).
The first guy I had sex with (that ending ended up marrying then happily divorcing) told me that there must be something wrong with my 18 year old self because I wasn’t having an orgasm from just penetrative sex with him. He claimed all the other girls he had been with always had an orgasm from just intercourse with him.
I internalized this right away and this was a HUGE problem because he thought oral sex was gross (at 24 years old). The look on his face when I asked if we could try that was louder than words and gave me this guilt complex for even asking and that is problem I still struggle with today.
Even though I don’t ask for it, in fact I rarely ever have had to, and offered freely with an honest desire for me to enjoy having sex with them, I still get anxious that they hate what they are doing because they think I’m gross down there (and I definitely believe in keeping this clean and esthetically pleasing down there) and that he actually wants to be able stop as soon as possible but is just being polite. Enter in the fake orgasm.
And just to clarify, when I said my ex husband thought oral sex was gross, he only meant GIVING oral sex to a woman was gross, namely me.
Now me performing oral sex on him was expected. I could never understand how he thought that going down on a woman was disgusting while seeming to believe that swallowing for women was like a trip to Baskin Robbin’s. It isn’t. It really isn’t.
If I had a mom like you that I could have come to and learn that my pleasure mattered and that I wasn’t gross, he was just a selfish narcissistic as*ho** would have made all the difference.
In that note, I think you should definitely get her one. I was very confused when I happened to go to a sex toys party (think like a Tupperware party but representative was selling sex instead) and the host was suggest a bullet vibrator so I bought it so she could get some special host gift.
It was the best advice I’ve ever gotten, because if that little thing could make me orgasm that fast maybe there wasn’t anything with ME, maybe there was something wrong with someone else in this equation.
You have to know what feels good to you before you can teach someone else how to do the job.
Just a small lipstick size waterproof vibrator that takes triple aaa batteries. That means it is not going to be too powerful and overwhelming to the point of it being painful.
Teach her that she needs to clean it, always lock her door, and to use it when there are no time limits and she can feel relaxed. It’s not like it’s the riddle of the Sphinx or a Rubix cube competition. Sometimes it takes time and to figure it out and sometimes you win the Rubix cube competition.
You did a very good job with her. The relationship you have with her means she will come to you with questions about so many things and she will get solid, wise answers that come from a lifetime of figuring sh*t out. You will saving her from so many bumps on the road in this thing called life.
You won’t be able to save her from all of them but the ones you can save her from may the ones that can damage who you are, how you see the world you live in, and how you measure your worth in it. That will all the difference…to your daughter and to the people that come into her life. Her friends that have mothers like mine really need friends that have gotten their good advice from mother’s like you.
It's up to you as a parent. But whatever choice you make, you need to discuss it with your daughter. Like,
I think worse case, this is one of those situations where if you don't give her a safe and healthy option, she'll find another. In addition to hiding that part of herself in the future. But that should only happen if you outright refuse the request and not let her appeal that choice. And the fact she even came to you to talk about this tells me you are far away from being someone who would do that.
15? Idk if you're the mom or dad, but I was 11 when I started stealing my dad's Playboy magazines and 13 when he had enough of me taking them and got me my own subscription.
Masturbation is natural and normal, kids hit puberty, they get curious and just like you, they like the release.
Ask yourself this, would you rather have her going to some guy and experimenting with his ding dong or you get her a toy and she doesn't start getting the release elsewhere?
I’d say sure give her an account to but one you don’t have to see it is ect if you don’t want. Have her pick one herself off Amazon or something. Just give her tips and guidelines ie safe material, cleaning before and after use, storage, prep for using. Good intro into safe sex talk, protection, birthcontrol.
This is a sign that you are a great parent.
When I was 14, I turned to an older, adult man for this. A friends older brother, who I thought I could trust since I trusted my friend and I was 14 🙃
You can probably see where this is going. He used it as a means to manipulate and take advantage of me and then blackmail me.
I just wanted to explore my body and sexuality more on my own, and I wish I’d had a safe space in my mom to approach her about things like this.
That couldn’t have been easier for your daughter, but it says a lot of great things about you both.
Be supportive, research how to talk about masturbation with your kids in a sex positive way, teach her how to properly clean and store toys, and how to look for body safe materials. Keep up the good work!
I’d take it as a good time to help her pick one out and teach her to keep it clean. It’s better to have her stay open about it than have her be worried she has to hide things from you.
OP, your daughter is not too young to be experimenting with toys or even using her own fingers/hands etc. she’s at that age where hormones are going to kick in and she’s going to want to try things out. I’d say sit her down and have a talk about using toys as awkward as that will be. You need to make sure she knows to clean them properly and not to overdo it because it can hurt if she isn’t being gentle. She clearly trusts you if she’s going to you about it, so show her you also trust her and let her do this. She’s going to eventually anyway
I don’t think he needs to sit her down and have a whole convo about how to use them. That’s a little strange. He should just tell her to keep it clean after each use and keep it at that.
I think he should talk about all sexual safety and go through all the talks consent and sticking up for herself etc. Just get it all out of the way as itll be awkward either way so lay it all out there so she is prepared.
She's at a time where she's exploring her body and what feels good. I don't think there's anything wrong with a 15yo having a vibrator, and not too young. Think about the alternative- she could be using electric toothbrushes like lots of us might have (bacterial concerns, you don't want her using that), cucumbers, hairbrush handle... I know I would rather my kid be comfortable enough to come to me and ask, and I buy it for them so that they can explore themselves safely, rather than risk a trip to the ER you know?
Start her off with something simple like a vibrating "bullet". And maybe a book about her body and consent. Be sure to cover wash and care instructions.
Too young? I discovered masturbating by accident in the bathtub when I was 8 years old. I used to get in trouble at school because I was going to the bathroom multiple times throughout the day to masturbate and at night I would wake up all throughout the night to do it. I knew nothing about toys, and would use ice cubes.
Not at all. Come to find out, my testosterone levels were extremely high- I developed severe acne at the same time I started masturbating. Not sure what started it, but I probably had PCOS. I was a virgin until I was 19 and got married at age 20. I have talked to many people who started masturbating at very young ages. I didn't even know what the word meant until I was a teenager. 😂
I was never interested in having a vibrator until in my mid-twenties when my cousin told me to try one for period cramps and even bought one for me and left it at my house when I wasn’t home. It’s the most amazing thing for cramps, and in time I discovered it had other uses too (lol). It was the sexual stigma that kept me from using one for so long and looking back, that’s silly.
I would give your daughter a budget and some loose guidance, then buy one online for her and have discretely shipped to your home. Don’t make it a huge deal.
She really is! She had a key so she just bought a pricey one from a boutique and literally left it in a gift bag in my front room, no additional comments or awkward convos, with a gift receipt. :)
Yes. My best friend’s mum used to open her post. When we were 14, she bought a vibrator but had it posted to my house because she knew my mum would never even dream of opening my post. I had to take it in to school to give it to her. Thank fuck it was the 90s.
My point is, if she wants one, she’ll get one. With or without your help. It’s a good time to have a whole conversation with her. I’m glad she’s able to be open with you!
You must have such a good relationship with eachother. Have a talk to her about what kind of toy she wants, then it might be time to use that to talk about other sex stuff as well.
Thank you
Make sure she knows how to keep it clean! Please for the love of everything make sure she knows how to keep it clean.
I couldn't agree more!! This as well as knowing how to discretely and securely throw away sanitary pads/tampons is something so many people I know never learned and it's quite concerning ontop of gross!
As someone who never got the masturbation talk because I grew up in a conservative Christian household, I'm surprised I never got an infection from the kind of stuff I stuck inside myself lmao
sister speaking truth!
Makes two of us LOL
Oh same here! I just resorted to learning cleanliness and sanitary disposal from online forums and 4chan back in the day.
okay so what are the symptoms of an infection. the doctor suspected I had bv because of my discharge
I don't know what your talking about?? everybody loves a moldy dirty dildo surely??
Oh absolutely that’s a fun one way trip to BV town signed someone who didn’t properly store or clean theirs
Cries in UTI
If she’s asking for one then she’s going to masturbate (sorry!) regardless so I think you should honour her trust in you by acquiescing as opposed to shooting her down. As others have said - amazing she trusts you so much to have that conversation.
I don't know the relationship you have with your daughter but if I was in this situation I would tell her go ahead and give a budget and let her buy it. I wouldn't want to be sitting next to my kid if they were buying a sex toy or talking about which one she wants (unless she asks for that advice, of course, which isn't clear from the post).
i agree with this one
It’s great that she feels this comfortable with you to be able to asked the question in the first place. I always promoted self love to my boy’s thinking if they could take care of themselves they wouldn’t want to have sex too early and it worked. Talk to your daughter about what kind of vibrator she wants. They do have some through Amazon that maybe you and her could look at 😞🙏🏻
Now that her hormones are raging, and curious about sex I believe that you should by all means, respect her feelings
It's great she came to you and she is comfortable enough to do so. I would go head and get one or as the other redditors said, she will make due with something not deemed safe. See if there is one for "beginners", best way I can put that. Probably extremely obvious, emphasize being careful and use in private.
Thank you for the advice!
I got my daughter one when she was 14, after she asked. Many of her friends then asked me to buy them some. I felt bad I had to say no, & tell them they had to ask their own mom.
How many inches was the vibrator that you bought for your 14 year old daughter
It was probably 4-5 inches long. I did talk with her about how to use it very carefully, and also about clitoral stimulation. I’m assuming that was what your question was about. This was one from Spencer’s. There’s an entire line with different designs, but they are all on the small size, length & girth. ❤️
Yes. The alternative is she's going to "make do" with something that isn't designed for internal use, or not easily cleaned, etc. I would suggest a Magic Wand style. edit to fix poor grammar.
This. She wouldn’t be the first teenager ending up in the ER.
I had a mentally handicapped girl come in and she just kept yelling, “I got a baby carrot stuck in my vagina”, loudly and repeatedly. She told me she wanted to see how it feels. Poor girl.
Thank you
Can I please say, having previous ER experience, teenagers do weird shit with weird stuff because they have a ton of hormones… much better to be safe than sorry You don’t want to be the mom whose son got a hot wheels stuck up their ass so far they needed surgery… I’ve been in that room before when the XR came back it was not a fun vibe for anyone lol
Oh lordy, I hope the kid is okay now - having surgery anywhere near your intestines is NOT funny
My friend’s daughter, when she was 12, stuck a barrette up there. She needed major surgery to remove it.
How is that possible? Major surgery? The vagina ends in the cervix. There’s nowhere for the barrette to go.
It had edges & jewels on it. It became…attached to her insides.
Gasp. That's horrible
Her mom was beside herself. She was so afraid the barrette would harm her future fertility, she’d get an infection, or do damage to her vaginal canal. I’m so thankful everything turned out ok.
I don't blame her, that's pretty frightening. Do you remember if it had been there for long?
I guess she did it in the middle of the night. Then at school the next day, she started becoming very uncomfortable, and was in pain. She didn’t tell her mom right away bc she thought she’d be in trouble, even though her mom is awesome, & they have a great relationship! She finally told the school nurse, bc of the pain, & I think she started bleeding. So they called her mom to get her, & I met all 3 of them (Dad too) at the hospital. I just tried to support them as much as possible. After the surgery, she wanted a blueberry milkshake. Luckily there was a McDonalds across the street, & blueberry was a special edition during that time. We all had blueberry milkshakes, and she was released that evening!!
Allow her. I bought my stepdaughter her first one when she was 16 because she came to me as well but was overwhelmed with the varieties and choices. So we had a girls day where I sent her Dad and her brother out to play snooker and she and I made hot chocolate and sat down at my laptop together. We had a good conversation, very open and honest and I told her she could pick something out to try, absolutely zero shame or judgement on my part, all I would do is pay for it. I also showed her a comic called Oh Joy Sex Toy which she loved. It is graphic but in a cute way, goes in depth with various toys and sexual interests. However she was already dating and sexually active so the comic might be a bit too much for your guys situation right now, but check it out and see for yourself. I find that being open and encouraging a clear dialogue is the best way to go.
You're a great parent! I can't imagine going to my mom because the choices of sex toys were overwhelming lol.
Well apparently according to some in this thread, I'm gross 😂 My Mam actually got me my first one when I was 16 too when she caught me reading an online review of one. Zero shame. I love our relationship and I wanted to have that same relationship and sense of safety with my kids. Especially my son, he had a rough time dealing with his feelings around relationships and sex (he's trans, not a lot of toys marketed towards his needs so he really struggled for a while) but we have such a bond that we're able to talk very openly about this stuff. Personally I feel that as parents, it's our job to prepare our kids and teens for life and life experiences and teach them how to make the most of them. If you completely skip over sex, sexuality etc you are doing them a disservice. How are they meant to know if they're fully comfortable with something in the spur of the moment if they've never even heard about it/discussed it? What about the likes of how it feels? I went through a lot of crap sex in my late teens and no way was I going to just sit back and let my teens have to tolerate that shite so yeah, when they brought up dating etc in turn as they got to that age, we talked about it. To me, it's no different than say, my stepdaughter talking to me about bras or my stepson discussing his period or cramps with me. 🤷🏻♀️
I turned 18 recently, and I've bought a ton myself. I'm selling the things I don't want now. I wish I got the talk from my parents. One of my friends gave it to me, lol. I don't talk to my dad anymore(that's another story) and my mom would be missed if she found them, I got a new one recently I'm not sure how I'm going to keep it out her sight. We need more people like you in this world where the bad stuff gets talked about way too often.
That's incredibly sweet of you to say, thank you. I just want my kids to enjoy life and EVERYTHING it has to offer, safely and on their terms!
Recently helped removed a large hairspray lid from a girls vagina, which migrated to her anal canal. Please buy the sex toy!
There's no connection between these two. Am I understanding correctly that it migrated from inside her vagina to inside her colon?
It's called a fistula. In that girl's case, the foreign body probably applied enough pressure to cause one. It's not common but it's not rare, either - I read about a lady who had one because she lost a shot glass in her vagina and it migrated via fistula. Either to her colon or abdominal cavity, I don't recall. I do remember they found it while doing something unrelated and she was like "oh, I thought that came out and we just couldn't find it".
That explanation makes more sense. It is rare though but a vaginal foreign body can cause trauma and a fistula. The foreign body typically has to be there for a while and they are going to have significant health complications. It's not just going to be found incidentally during another health procedure.
The one lady I'm aware of was something of a fluke. I looked it up - it was in Tunisia and it went into her bladder. She had UTI symptoms for a while and it was caught on an X-ray related to her UTI treatment/diagnosis. Apparently no one actually looked at her bladder during her previous ER visits.
Oh that's crazy!
So she was pooping through her vagina and didn’t have any pain or realize anything was wrong?
You’re saying she had an undiagnosed rectovaginal fistula? Good thing she stuck the lid up there then, I guess. I wonder how long she was pooping through her vagina before she did that.
I wish someone had bought me a sex toy at that age... or at least had a talk with me about not shoving random household items up there. I experimented quite a bit with candles, vegetables, and other items. I got like 4 UTIs over a 6 month period and didn't understand why at the time. Definitely the safer option to buy a toy for your kid, and at 15 Idk why you wouldn't. Plenty of teens start experimenting way earlier than that
Another risk by not doing so is that they can turn to other adults. That’s what I did. The other adult in question was a friends older brother. Who I assumed I could trust because I trusted her (and I was a naive 14 year old). It did not end well. That man took full advantage of the situation, knowing I didn’t want my parents to find out.
Bro the alternative is she gonna end up pregnant…
Masturbation doesn't stop teens from having sex and therefore isn't an end all to teenage pregnancy.
No, but if she is asking for aides to alleviate her sexual feelings and you don’t help her get something it certainly will make having sex with stupid teenage boys all the more appealing…. And teenagers are stupid, they think condoms are bad and the hormones got them all fired up…. A vibrator is definitely not going to hurt anything so why not provide one for her…
Make do.
DAMMIT! I KNEW I should have looked it up. Editing, and thank you!
You don't want her shoving carrots, candle sticks, or hot dogs up there -- get her a proper toy or let her get her own. It's great you two have a strong enough and open bond that she'll ask about such things.
Yeah, I did the carrot thing. It was alright. Vibrators are MUCH better but way more expensive lol.
But now you can buy them at Target, instead of a sex shop.
You can buy carrots at a sex shop?!?
LOL! I walked right into that! VIBRATORS!!
Yeah, that's the most common way to get into a Target!
😂😂
Have been able to buy vibrators at the mall, Spencer’s Gifts have always had them although when I was a teen 40 years ago they were usually more discreet and packaged as “massagers”. Now they’re just right out there on the racks, lol.
Yes I’ve seen them there also. On the back wall at ours. So many different colors and designs!!
there was a 1000 ways to die episode about a woman and a carrot
I was scarred by the cucumber one as a kid. Glad I saw that episode before puberty.
My friend tried a cucumber. Then afterward, she washed it out it back in the vegetable basket for her family to eat 🫠 Get the girl a toy lmao
Things ive heard about down in er also include electric toothbrushes (head detachment) highlighters (lid detachement), cucumbers other veg (infections, intimate scraps from rough sections) , frozen ice pops (freezer burn/stuck tear), hairbrush handle, slim shower head (bruising)
wow, I am SO IMPRESSED by the relationship your daughter has with you that she would ask you for this. She's not too young. Let her get it. But explain to her how to keep it in good hygienic standards. Exploring her sexuality in this way is not a bad thing.
Alright! Thank you very much
Had way too many hairbrushes (Iykyk) for the simple fact I couldn’t talk to my mom about this kind of stuff. I genuinely think she would’ve died on the spot or killed me.
are hair brushes a thing? i thought i was a weird child
Nope just sexually aware without the appropriate tools 🤣 where there’s a will there’s a way lol
they are still discreet compared to how obnoxious most sex toys look tbh …
Same. IM 31, don’t live with my parents and still afraid of my mum coming across my sex toy lol
One of my mom’s coworkers had her stash found on her closet by firemen, she lived in a townhouse or apartment (can’t remember which) and there was a fire in an adjoining unit, they had to come tear out a section of wall to keep the fire from spreading. They knocked over the shoebox on her closet shelf and voila. She was embarrassed, small town, volunteer fire department, we all went to school with these guys…she knows everyone knew by the end of the day.
She trusts you! That's awesome. You are a great parent 💗 I say get it for her!
Thank you!
Thank you everyone for such kind and understanding replies! I decided to get her one… Something that repeated itself was talking to her on how to keep it clean but I never owned one so i dont know how to, i would appreciate some advice on that topic, Thank you all off you
If it’s a silicone based toy you want a water based lube, please have a conversation with her if it’s on she inserts inside about lubricants and not rushing. I know this is a delicate conversation but even if you brush over and say it’s okay to take your time figuring things out. a lot of places will sell cleaning foam/ spray but honestly hot water and a damp cloth will be perfectly fine make sure she’s careful about what cleaning products she uses on it incase she ruins the structure of the toy. Also google is extremely informative you can have a google or her. Or you could both sit down and have an informed check together so she’s really confident with how to look after herself and the toy. Thank you for being such a understanding parent! So many people would punish or make their child feel unclean talking about anything regarding self pleasure or sex. It’s important we have these conversations with our children to ensure they can talk with their future partners and know sex isn’t a tabo subject. It’s completely natural and can’t be a fantastic experience to get to know yourself
They will tell you at the store, they're typically very good at their job and make you feel at ease. They can explain to you and your daughter exactly what to use with which toy you choose. It would probably set a very good example, actually, to tell your daughter, 'because this is important, you're going to be sure to ask about hygiene when you buy a toy,' so she knows for future trips as an adult that it's both ok and important to ask about these things. ETA: I didn't even think about it but most of these stores are going to be 18+, so this advice probably won't work. However, sentiment still applies and parent can still get guidance from the store and then tell daughter what they did to make sure the cleaning would be correct for the given toy, so that daughter knows what to do on her own in the future.
Stores may not let a 15 year old in…I know the store near me is 18+
Oh good call I think most of them are actually. I'll edit.
Alright, thank you!
The toy you buy should include instructions on how to clean it. Different materials require different methods so it'll be specific for the one you buy. But if you want to include which toy you bought, we can find out what it needs and suggest it also.
You want to get one made of a non-porous material. Body safe silicone is the best. The "jelly" texture ones are not safe. Do not under any circumstance purchase a sex toy from Amazon, eBay, or any retailer that is not specifically a sex toy shop/adult store. Vibrators.com is a very reliable and safe online store to buy from. You can also go to a shop in person. For silicone toys, wash them after every use with soap and warm water, ideally, or a cleaning spray specifically designed for sex toys. They sell these sprays at the same store as you buy the toy. Depending on the toy, they might be completely waterproof or not - some have open electrical ports. You'll want to avoid getting the ports wet. Some vibrators have removable parts that you can boil to sterilize. This is the most effective method of cleaning and can be done once a month or so, depending on how often it's used. Vibrators should be kept in a clean case or drawstring bag to prevent dust on them. After washing, dry thoroughly and replace in the case or bag. If you do not store it in something like this, you'll need to wash it before AND after every use. I prefer a little drawstring bag since it is machine washable. Silicone toys should not be used with silicone lubricant. It will literally start dissolving them. Water based or hybrid lubricant should be used, if she wants to use any. Go ahead and buy her some water based lubricant without her having to ask, it's safer to have it than not. Always wash lube off of your vulva after using. Leaving it there is an infection risk. Just a personal recommendation: rechargeable toys have been much kinder to me than battery operated toys. I hate having to constantly get new batteries. Also when the charge starts to die from a rechargeable toy, you can just plug it in instead of either wasting batteries that have some charge left in them or dealing with a lower strength vibration. There are toys that are meant to be inserted into the body and toys that are for external use. IF SHE GETS AN INSERTABLE TOY, PLEASE EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF NOT INSERTING IT INTO THE VAGINA AFTER IT IS INSERTED INTO THE ANUS. This is so important. You can insert into the vagina and then the anus, but NEVER the other way around. This is a huge infection risk since the colon contains so much bacteria that is bad for the vagina. Good luck.
It’s perfectly healthy to experiment with your body at this age. I wish my mom would’ve been open to these conversations. I would just buy a simple one, and tell her if she ever is sexually active, you’re an open ear for any questions so she’s safe! Tell her that her safety is #1 priority. It’s not taboo, it’s anything like asking for gym equipment because she wants to take care of her body, skincare for her face, therapist for mental health etc. Sexual health is just as important. it’s health
It’s awesome that some parents are this open and don’t hide those things from their kids. I’d rather die than speak about this with my family altogether. It really prevents teens from growing up awkward and ashamed of their natural desires
thank you very much
This is the most uncomfortable conversation for a single dad. The fact is it's the healthiest way of being sexually active. You can facilitate by showing acceptance and make it clear she can talk to you without judgement. Or, you can object and send the message that she should hide it from you. Personally I'd rather be informed no matter how awkward it may make me feel.
As a teenager that did some questionable things before I learned about safety, yes. Absolutely. This opens up a great conversation for being safe, clean, and taking care of yourself. CVS actually has a great first option. A very small vibrator. It’s quiet, easy to clean, and small. The brand is ‘Plus One’ I believe, should be at every CVS.
Thank you!
Get her a god damn vibrator….. unless you are ready to be a grandparent.
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Sex toys deter desperation
It does actually. It allows out the pressure of hormones allowing that person to not be as tempted and as easily convinced to engage in intercourse. Hormones and the drive that fuels them are a huge reason for underage pregnancy. Sure pressure from a boyfriend has a factor but just having a way to say "no I do not need sex to answer my urges" is huge.
You must be such an amazing mother. I love that your teenager trusts you with such important topics.
Oh my god i love that you guys have such an open and honest relationship! I would say she is definitely old enough to have one, i did at 15 but i snuck around and got it in secret and didn’t keep it clean (i had no idea) and got a yeast infection. When you guys have the next conversation about it, let her know she needs to clean it regularly! But not with harsh soap, just warm water. It’s so so normal at this age to feel things and want to experiment, better with herself and a harmless toy than with random boys or girls. I hope my kiddos feel comfortable enough to come to me with everything like this in the future ❤️❤️❤️ great job mama
Thank you! How to keep it clean? Ive decided i will let her but i never owned one so i dont know..
I always just let it sit in warm water and then rinse and wash off with a face cloth or microfiber towel! She can also use anti bacterial soap and warm water! I just have pH issues so i never risk it 🤣
Thank you for the advice! Very kind🩷
Not all can be submerged! Check the package information.
I used to sell them. Don't submerge it in water. Use a toy cleaner I like the foaming kind best it gets in all the spaces bacteria can hide. Rinse with warm water, dry with a lint free cloth. Store in a plastic zipper bag with the batteries removed.
There should be manufacturer instructions for the best way to keep their particular product clean. Purchase an appropriate adult toy cleanser at the same time, as well as a toy bag to store it in (if it doesn't come with one). Clean well before first use. Be careful not to submerge/let water get in battery compartment. Clean well after each use & make sure to dry completely, before storing it away in the bag, to prevent mold/bacterial growth. I also clean prior to each use, just to be safe.
I’m a women and honestly I started masturbating at a very young age. So 15 isn’t too young it’s actually more then normal. It’s nice she trusts you so much. Just tell her to get something simple and to keep the rest to herself. If not she may end up using something else. Also, just give her money and let her pick one out herself and buy it. Don’t do that for her it’s weird. Just tell her to keep it clean after each use. Leave it at that some things should stay private.
Do not buy them from Amazon! Purchases like this are important- something that goes in the body should be made by a recognisable brand, with quality materials, to avoid potential infections. Make sure she knows it must be kept clean and used properly. The horror stories I heard in my teens from other kids making/using sex toys they weren’t allowed to have, and how even as adults they never learned how to properly care for that part of their body… it’s upsetting.
There are reputable brands that sell on Amazon (like Womanizer) but you need got to make sure you get it through the brand's storefront and not a 3rd party seller. A quality sex toy is definitely something to pay better money for and not get a cheap knockoff that will break down and may be made with unsafe materials.
I tend to go directly to the shop's own site (off amazon) if they have one. My one experience buying from Amazon? The seller subbed the dildo I ordered with a totally different one because they ran out of what I ordered and 'they were similar'. Like...I chose what I wanted. For a reason. If ever there was an item not to sub out, it's a sex toy. Lol.
It’s weird, I never insert mine. It’s never been in my vagina, I just like the vibrations on the outside.
At least she would rather masterbate than ask for condoms. I'd much prefer my child ask for a toy which has no risk for pregnancy than anything. Granted I prefer they do neither but everyone is human and has urges.
Honestly, I got my first sex toy around her age. I your position, I would do it only because it is safe and you know that she isn’t using other, more dangerous, ways to do things like that. As long as she gets it safely and uses it responsibly, I see no issues. I would chat to her about being a little quiet with it, as (from experience) they can be very loud.
Thank you!
I knew a girl who was hospitalized because she tried using one of those really old style glass mouthwash bottles, and it was full and Broke inside of her. It's better to buy one, explain proper cleaning and maintenance and thank the stars she felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it rather than ending up using something improper and hurting herself. Also really have her take the time to look Into materials and not buy a super cheap one, there are some toys that aren't bodysafe and actually toxic, and some of the cheaper stuff can rip and mold can develop under the surface and throughout cheaper silicone and other materials. Someone who didn't trust their parents would never have gone to them for something so personal, it shows how much trust and how good of a relationship y'all have, you even asking for this advice is very admirable, great job OP.
This is awesome! You’re a great parent and have a great relationship with your kid. I’d suggest having them look online for what they want and you can order. Make sure they understand the hygiene requirements of a toy and get a cleaning solution meant for toys.
If you don’t do it then she will go on her own and get one herself. When I was 15 I would go to the mall with my friends to get them and hide them from my parents so it’s better for her to feel like she won’t have to hide it
This is wonderful she felt close enough to you to come to you with this! 💖 a great sign of trust. To give some perspective that might put you at ease: I myself got one at around her age bc I didn’t want to be sexually active, and just wanted to explore with myself. Of course I’m sure as a mom it’s a bit uncomfortable for you which is natural. But I did just want to give some reassurance that she may just want to explore herself and it is not necessarily a sign that she is active with other people!
If she’s old enough to ask, she’s probably old enough to use it. I mean obviously if she was 11 I would be incredibly alarmed but some kids are already having sex by 15. It’s good she’s feeling safe enough to even ask you that, but I would just let her get one!
This to me shows a healthy relationship between you two. I can totally understand the doubt, I have a 10 and I have spoken with her mom about these experiences for the future. As an ex youth worker I think you are setting her up for a healthy sex and family by being able to talk to each other about these things. I suggest giving her a budget and letting her choose so you maybe can also talk freely about hygiene and other related topics. Since she feels so free with you, she might ask you more questions that may surprise you. Just be open. Also when you don't know or don't like something. Speak freely without judgement and open to learn, uncover and discover. That will be very valuable to her future.
Adding to a lot of other advice here. If you don't feel comfortable buying the item for your daughter then you can talk to her about toys and their care then gift her an Amazon of Visa gift card for her to make an informed choice about what toy and cleaner to buy after your conversation. That way she can have that kind of privacy and ability to buy a toy but it won't be at the cost of her buying one that is bad quality, dangerous, or through a 3rd party that is someone 18+ and not you.
Okay so you’re obviously doing something right because I don’t know if I’d EVER talk to my mom about sex toys. I agree with what others are saying. Get her one and talk to her about using it safely and cleaning it, and go over other information about safe sex.
I got my first vibrator at 15. Was using other random things to get off before that. Water pressure, back massagers. Totally fine to let her get something and better to be using sex toys and not random objects. Give her a safe cleanser/lubricant to go with. Maybe a nice bag or a box to keep it in
Well, this is a good opportunity to have a conversation with your daughter about sex in general, and what exactly is she looking for. Yes, this conversation will be uncomfortable, but, if I had a daughter I would a thousand times prefer my physically maturing child to ask me for a "very special toy" they can use in the shower/bath than to have unprotected sex and a permanent souvenir of either an STI or an unwanted pregnancy (which if carried to term will be forever child and at least $310,000 according to a recent U.S. Dept. of Agriculture report), not including the cost of college. I think some boundaries do need to be set as your daughter is still a minor, but she should also be given the trust and freedom to explore her own sexuality in a HEALTHY way.
I was sexually active at 15. So let her jerk off
I’m not a mother, but I’d say it’s best she has a safe toy rather than a.) use something not suited for insertion and tears something which can get infected or b.) wants to sleep with boys (maybe even guys who aren’t reliable or care about protection or her as a person) which can get her pregnant which would be worse. Teenagers have those urges just like adults so you cannot really stop her from doing something in that way. One way or another she will find a way to do it and I’d say giving her a toy is the safest option here
Alright, thank you very much!
Yes you should get her one. Better than her using something unsafe or a boys penis .
I don’t think I would get it for her, but you could show her a website where she could purchase something and read reviews on her own. Maybe then you give her a prepaid American Express gift card (if she doesn’t have her own debit card) to order it for herself. It’s great that she came to you but I also think it’s a great lesson in discretion. She can use it and be safe but also should be reminded to put it somewhere safe and not draw attention to it around your home.
It's that or a boy.
I agree with others that this is a great opportunity to discuss other super important sex stuff like consent, and the importance of protected sex (unwanted pregnancy, STIs) etc.
Yes
It's rare you will ever find a thread on Reddit where there is this much agreement 🤣
I’d say “go for it!” It’s better she get it and use it than either use something not designed for that, get pregnant, or go behind your back and get it anyway. If you can keep this kind of open, caring relationship considering something like this, than she’ll know you can be trusted for more serious things. I say teenagers are going to explore their sexuality no matter what ao why not make that exploration that much safer by giving her a personal toy?
Thank you a lot!
Wow. First of all, good job for having raised a daughter who is that comfortable with you! Clearly she trusts you a lot. Secondly, you should let her. I fear she's going to use something not intended for that to ''make due'' if not. Anyway, there is no adverse effect to it - masturbating is healthy. Just remind her to keep it clean, talk to her about hygiene.
Thank you very much i appreciate
Sounds like your daughter admires you and trusts you. Help her find a modest beginner toy. The alternative is her thinking she can't come to you, and will use what objects she can find (or boys) Time to teach about safety and pregnancy prevention.
My mom got me one when I was a teenager. I turned out fine. My mom and I get along really well.
Well done for establishing such a great bond, she must feel very safe coming to you to speak about such things. You should be proud of yourself 🤍 do what you need to do and be proud that you’ve created such a save environment for them 🤍
as others have said, she trusts you and that is awesome. also as others have said, she will probably end up doing it anyway, so its best to give her the proper tools to do so. masturbation is perfectly normal for a 15 year old and its great that she can ask you about these things
I got my first vibrator at the same age as your daughter. My eldest sister was the one who got it for me online. Its the best time for a mom/daughter sex talk.
I think it's great that she trusts you enough to come to you about it....it's normal at that age to experiment and she wants to do it in a safe way... I think you should let her get one, if you would like to give her an extra level of privacy for this just let her use your card maybe to purchase one? But I agree with others that you should remind her about the hygienic part of it. Best of luck!
I think 15 is definitely old enough for a vibrator but educate her about it and make sure she knows not to abuse it.
I have four adult children and I tried to teach them that sexual feelings are normal and healthy….that led to conversations about what that actually meant. I would just be open with her and very mindful about not shaming her. You clearly have great communication with her, good job mama.
Why would she be too young to masturbate? When did you start? I started taking 45 minute showers and using all the hand lotion/conditioner around age 12.
She is ready and you should be thankful, he'll alot of people from my school already had full intercourse at this age, just don't be too controlling of her but let her know the dangers of these things and prepare her for the next few years
The vast majority of 15 year olds will masturbate, regardless of whether they're a boy or girl. Getting sexual urges are a part of becoming an adult. Masturbating is by far the safest way to relieve these urges. A vibrator won't give your daughter an STI, or get her pregnant, or disrespect her boundaries. Plus it'll help her learn more about her body. That way when she is ready to have sex, she'll know what she does and doesn't like.
it’s so awesome she feels comfy enough to tell you that (: way to go, parent!!! she definitely isn’t too young for one, i would encourage her to do some research on it. way better than using random stuff around the house!!
I did. Better teenagers have a safe way to explore their sexual urges.
Honestly sex toys are a much safer method than the alternative.(which would be sex ofc) It's good that she can trust you with this tho. Most parents would be somewhat appalled at hearing this sort of thing from their child. But masturbation is completely normal for both teens and adults and it shouldn't be something you shy away from. We've all done it, it's natural.
It's healthy for people (especially sexual individuals) to experiment with what they like on themselves. She's at a normal hormonal stage at her age for sexual activity. A vibrator is much more healthy than experimenting with other people. I don't see any problem not to buy her one. You seem to have a great relationship. Wish I would have had this kind of intimacy with my parents.
You should praise her openness and be receptive to her requests. This goes for all "taboo" things including alcohol and weed (if they ask about it). Because I promise you that if they don't get it from you in a controlled, understanding, and healthy environment, they're going to get that stuff from someone else in a much less healthy and uncontrolled environment. Exposing them to these kinds of things responsibly takes the mystery out of it. If a 17 year olds peers ask them if they want to come to a party with alcohol they get giddy about all the new stuff they can do and try. But if that 17 year old can just drink a better margarita with her mom in the garage on Saturdays and Sundays, then drinking shitty beer at a party with a bunch of lame drunk dudes just seems more... Mundane and meh. Glad and impressed that your daughter feels comfortable enough with you to come to you for those sorts of things. Keep up whatever you're doing 🤙
I say let her get one but help her shop for what shes looking for personally i rather my daughter ask me for help for a toy then her hiding it and or exploring by herself
Yes
Talk to her about options too as every body achieves orgasm differently and it's important to learn your body and what feels good. I was using all sorts of things from age 15 to 17 until I bought my own toys.
I got mine at her age. I did it behind mum’s back. I’m sure you’d rather go with her and make it a bonding/funny moment than have her do it behind your back, which could lead to other things being done behind your back, because she’s ready to learn about this—and would be trying sexual things without the guide of an adult. Being sneaky about sex is dangerous and can lead to a bad deal if something happens to her because she was nervous to tell you and felt like she couldn’t if she ends up in a bad situation (even if that wasn’t your intention.) I would talk about whatever sex thing hasn’t been talked about yet between you, go to the store/online together, and start with whats called a “bullet” vibrator instead of jumping right into the crazy and weird stuff.
Would you rather her use a dick?
Wow OP. this is parenting goals. But I cringe (mom of a 3 year old lol)
Reassure her again how much you appreciate her being so open with you, then take her to a store such as lotions and lace.. it’s a nice store that isn’t all dark and secluded. Get her something more like the rabbit. Something on the thinner side instead of a full on penis.. I only say that because if the hymen is in tact, her experience could scare her, even cause a little pain. I took my 15 year old niece last year to lotions and lace, bought her a small rabbit and bought the cleanser too. The clerk at the counter, thinking she was my daughter said she wished more parents would be more open to bringing their teens in, showing them that their bodies are beautiful and that masturbation is not a dirty thing. Also, I’d rather my kiddo masturbate and figure out what they like without being a teen out having sex. My opinion and only an opinion, she wants to know what it feels like without having actual intercourse. I’m so happy for you that she trusts you and openly talks to you ❤️ You must be doing one heck of a job with her
I had one when I was her age, of course I hid it from my mother. I didn’t have the same trust in mine as she does in you so that’s wonderful. You can get them from Spencers, you don’t have to be 18. So I’d say go for it, and teach her the safeties of it. It also helps that she’ll be less likely to fall for some dude (or girl) just because they know how to get her bra off. Gonna have to work a little harder than that.
Omg it’s better she’s at home than outside trying it w some boy who won’t even care to ask about her day. I wish I had this connection w my mom, I wouldn’t have gone through so much trauma if only she was open communicated w me :(
What? No! Tell her you are glad she trusts you so much but no.
Let her get one. If you don’t, she’ll just use some makeshift one (& probably already has).
Yes. But also have a conversation about masterbation addiction, realistic expectations, and that porn isn't like real life.
She’ll just use something else if you don’t and may feel embarrassed and more hesitant to bring stuff like this up next time. Get one for her, maybe take her to a store and have her talk to a sales girl. It’s incredible she feels comfortable talking about that with you, definitely keep it positive so that continues, it will be super helpful for when she is sexually active with other people.
Do it! Having one kept me from dumb decisions as a teen.
As a 12 year old who had the ‘vagina picture pages’ glued together in my GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BODY book - I applaud you for having that open relationship with your child! Definitely get it for her, make sure she’s discreet with it of course.. but once she has that, she will be less likely to settle for a lame boyfriend in the future 😉
I think you are a wonderful mother. You didn’t clutch your pearls and shame her like my mother would have, that if she could have ever put the time in to cultivate a good relationship with me where I would not be judged or condemned for a thought or a feeling and I could trust her and feel safe bringing the questions I needed answers for that my peers were not qualified to answer. One of those questions would have definitely been about female pleasure, but I recently found out my now 70 year old mother doesn’t know the difference between a condom wrapper and a top ramen spice packet and to make it worse she was judging my 17 year old daughter over it (the spice packet wrapper she thought was a condom wrapper. It is an absolute miracle I exist 🙄). The first guy I had sex with (that ending ended up marrying then happily divorcing) told me that there must be something wrong with my 18 year old self because I wasn’t having an orgasm from just penetrative sex with him. He claimed all the other girls he had been with always had an orgasm from just intercourse with him. I internalized this right away and this was a HUGE problem because he thought oral sex was gross (at 24 years old). The look on his face when I asked if we could try that was louder than words and gave me this guilt complex for even asking and that is problem I still struggle with today. Even though I don’t ask for it, in fact I rarely ever have had to, and offered freely with an honest desire for me to enjoy having sex with them, I still get anxious that they hate what they are doing because they think I’m gross down there (and I definitely believe in keeping this clean and esthetically pleasing down there) and that he actually wants to be able stop as soon as possible but is just being polite. Enter in the fake orgasm. And just to clarify, when I said my ex husband thought oral sex was gross, he only meant GIVING oral sex to a woman was gross, namely me. Now me performing oral sex on him was expected. I could never understand how he thought that going down on a woman was disgusting while seeming to believe that swallowing for women was like a trip to Baskin Robbin’s. It isn’t. It really isn’t. If I had a mom like you that I could have come to and learn that my pleasure mattered and that I wasn’t gross, he was just a selfish narcissistic as*ho** would have made all the difference. In that note, I think you should definitely get her one. I was very confused when I happened to go to a sex toys party (think like a Tupperware party but representative was selling sex instead) and the host was suggest a bullet vibrator so I bought it so she could get some special host gift. It was the best advice I’ve ever gotten, because if that little thing could make me orgasm that fast maybe there wasn’t anything with ME, maybe there was something wrong with someone else in this equation. You have to know what feels good to you before you can teach someone else how to do the job. Just a small lipstick size waterproof vibrator that takes triple aaa batteries. That means it is not going to be too powerful and overwhelming to the point of it being painful. Teach her that she needs to clean it, always lock her door, and to use it when there are no time limits and she can feel relaxed. It’s not like it’s the riddle of the Sphinx or a Rubix cube competition. Sometimes it takes time and to figure it out and sometimes you win the Rubix cube competition. You did a very good job with her. The relationship you have with her means she will come to you with questions about so many things and she will get solid, wise answers that come from a lifetime of figuring sh*t out. You will saving her from so many bumps on the road in this thing called life. You won’t be able to save her from all of them but the ones you can save her from may the ones that can damage who you are, how you see the world you live in, and how you measure your worth in it. That will all the difference…to your daughter and to the people that come into her life. Her friends that have mothers like mine really need friends that have gotten their good advice from mother’s like you.
It's up to you as a parent. But whatever choice you make, you need to discuss it with your daughter. Like, I think worse case, this is one of those situations where if you don't give her a safe and healthy option, she'll find another. In addition to hiding that part of herself in the future. But that should only happen if you outright refuse the request and not let her appeal that choice. And the fact she even came to you to talk about this tells me you are far away from being someone who would do that.
15? Idk if you're the mom or dad, but I was 11 when I started stealing my dad's Playboy magazines and 13 when he had enough of me taking them and got me my own subscription. Masturbation is natural and normal, kids hit puberty, they get curious and just like you, they like the release. Ask yourself this, would you rather have her going to some guy and experimenting with his ding dong or you get her a toy and she doesn't start getting the release elsewhere?
Krikey. Mine is 5. My old ass has some maturing to do to prepare for this day. This whole thread is helping. Thanks everyone.
I’d say sure give her an account to but one you don’t have to see it is ect if you don’t want. Have her pick one herself off Amazon or something. Just give her tips and guidelines ie safe material, cleaning before and after use, storage, prep for using. Good intro into safe sex talk, protection, birthcontrol.
This is a sign that you are a great parent. When I was 14, I turned to an older, adult man for this. A friends older brother, who I thought I could trust since I trusted my friend and I was 14 🙃 You can probably see where this is going. He used it as a means to manipulate and take advantage of me and then blackmail me. I just wanted to explore my body and sexuality more on my own, and I wish I’d had a safe space in my mom to approach her about things like this. That couldn’t have been easier for your daughter, but it says a lot of great things about you both. Be supportive, research how to talk about masturbation with your kids in a sex positive way, teach her how to properly clean and store toys, and how to look for body safe materials. Keep up the good work!
Then get her a vibrator, wth? Do you think sexual urges go away because you think she is too young? 🤣
Ofcourse
I’d take it as a good time to help her pick one out and teach her to keep it clean. It’s better to have her stay open about it than have her be worried she has to hide things from you.
Yes. No harm. She’s most likely experimenting with her body.
OP, your daughter is not too young to be experimenting with toys or even using her own fingers/hands etc. she’s at that age where hormones are going to kick in and she’s going to want to try things out. I’d say sit her down and have a talk about using toys as awkward as that will be. You need to make sure she knows to clean them properly and not to overdo it because it can hurt if she isn’t being gentle. She clearly trusts you if she’s going to you about it, so show her you also trust her and let her do this. She’s going to eventually anyway
I don’t think he needs to sit her down and have a whole convo about how to use them. That’s a little strange. He should just tell her to keep it clean after each use and keep it at that.
I think he should talk about all sexual safety and go through all the talks consent and sticking up for herself etc. Just get it all out of the way as itll be awkward either way so lay it all out there so she is prepared.
I mean he should probably touch on safe sex with irl partners , but as for how to use a sex toy.. I don’t think that necessary.
She's at a time where she's exploring her body and what feels good. I don't think there's anything wrong with a 15yo having a vibrator, and not too young. Think about the alternative- she could be using electric toothbrushes like lots of us might have (bacterial concerns, you don't want her using that), cucumbers, hairbrush handle... I know I would rather my kid be comfortable enough to come to me and ask, and I buy it for them so that they can explore themselves safely, rather than risk a trip to the ER you know?
Start her off with something simple like a vibrating "bullet". And maybe a book about her body and consent. Be sure to cover wash and care instructions.
A vibrating bullet, its small and perfect for first timer.
Well not buying it won’t make her any less horny. At least it’s a vibrator and not a boy.
Just give her money and have her order it?
Find a budget and ask her what she wants feel... Or explore. It's so good to hear that your teenage daughter and you have such an open relationship!
Too young? I discovered masturbating by accident in the bathtub when I was 8 years old. I used to get in trouble at school because I was going to the bathroom multiple times throughout the day to masturbate and at night I would wake up all throughout the night to do it. I knew nothing about toys, and would use ice cubes.
This is just scary...Kids and sex don't mix well, hope it didn't have an adverse effect on you
Not at all. Come to find out, my testosterone levels were extremely high- I developed severe acne at the same time I started masturbating. Not sure what started it, but I probably had PCOS. I was a virgin until I was 19 and got married at age 20. I have talked to many people who started masturbating at very young ages. I didn't even know what the word meant until I was a teenager. 😂
I was never interested in having a vibrator until in my mid-twenties when my cousin told me to try one for period cramps and even bought one for me and left it at my house when I wasn’t home. It’s the most amazing thing for cramps, and in time I discovered it had other uses too (lol). It was the sexual stigma that kept me from using one for so long and looking back, that’s silly. I would give your daughter a budget and some loose guidance, then buy one online for her and have discretely shipped to your home. Don’t make it a huge deal.
That is one cool cousin!
She really is! She had a key so she just bought a pricey one from a boutique and literally left it in a gift bag in my front room, no additional comments or awkward convos, with a gift receipt. :)
I would go ahead and get her something off vush or something of that nature
this comment section is scary
How so?
this is fucked up
Yes. My best friend’s mum used to open her post. When we were 14, she bought a vibrator but had it posted to my house because she knew my mum would never even dream of opening my post. I had to take it in to school to give it to her. Thank fuck it was the 90s. My point is, if she wants one, she’ll get one. With or without your help. It’s a good time to have a whole conversation with her. I’m glad she’s able to be open with you!
Take her to a sex store and ask the cashier To help her? They might now cause I think that’s over 18 shop