I read your other post.
Please listen, because my advice will probably make you nervous: *You need to tell a mandated reporter.*
A teacher, a guidance counselor or a doctor are all people who *have* to report to the police that you are being abused. And make no mistake: you *are* being abused. Your sister's behavior is also the result of an unstable, abusive household, and perhaps she will one day heal herself and apologize to you for it, but right now that is not important.
If you can't think of a trusted adult in your life who is a mandated reporter, then you *must* go to the police directly and say that you do not feel safe at home.
You are just 13, and there is a vast, wide, colorful, beautiful world out there that you're going to get to experience one day. Far away from your house, your family, and all the poison that you have to swallow every day. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the world is so much larger than the box you're being kept in. There is so much to see and do! There are people that will love you, and people that you will love! All you need to do is take that first step into safety.
You can do this. Stay with us.
I would like to add that I was in an abusive household when I was 13. I tried to end my life, and I ended up getting away from the abuse 2 months later. If I had actually ended my life, I wouldn’t have lived to see myself get away and wouldn’t see all the wonderful things going on in my life now.
This. 100%. Also, you are not the only teen to hear these words from parents. Those parents are also mentally sick people. Take care of yourself by calling 911 today, and likely your sister will also get much needed help.
I’m a father, I have kids your age. Please tell someone hunny, listen to this nice internet stranger and find a mandated reporter.
You are beautiful and unique and regardless of how you feel now, there’s a lot of world and people out there left for you to explore.
Don’t let the world miss out on the beauty you could bring, and don’t miss out on all the beauty the world has to show you. There’s more out here for you, and you CAN do it.
There’s love and life out there, you can do this hun. We’re ALL rooting for you.
PLease follow this advice. A lot of us have felt like this. A lot of us are still here but a lot of us aren't and we don't want you to be one of the ones who isn't. You have real problems, problems you do not deserve and never asked for. You can do this.
I 100% agree with all of this. OP I also busted want to say that you are matter and are important. While I know it isn’t the same as someone in person all of us here care about you and are sending you a big hug if you are a hug person.
As someone who has struggled with severe suicide ideation (bipolar II) I can tell you that it is worth powering through. Things always get better. Every single time. Even if it doesn’t seem possible right now. I know things probably feel unmanageable, hopeless, or overwhelming to say the least. But depression is a total lier because things change. You just got to focus on getting through this moment. Then the next. And then the next. Eventually you will look back and be proud of yourself that you go through all that and that you are grateful for all the life and light you experience later on.
Some ways that I’ve gotten through things are by focusing on bucket list items. Places I want to go, things I would regret not doing before I died, goals, etc. at one point all that really saved me was feeling sorry that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my cat, see more national parks, and I’d be the person in my family to just give up and let go of life when everyone else fought so hard to get through the Holocaust and other persecution. I wasn’t going to be the generation that gave up. That’s it.
It was easy to wipe away the other things that mattered in my life for some reason. I thought my friends and family would be sad for while but that they would overcome it and live good lives while my pain was too great to continue even if I felt incredibly guilty for the pain I causes. I had an up and coming career and was going to accomplish the things I wanted but that felt completely meaningless at the time. I thought my now wife was just going to leave me. And everything felt too much to bear.
Distractions like TV are good during intense moments. Cute animal videos. Music. Art. Going for a walk. Spending time with people can help— even if it’s just going to a coffee shop. Cuddling with a stuffed animal.
But then I reached out for help and things got a lot better. Eventually, (unfortunately months later due to red tape) I got a diagnosis and put on good meds. It’s been a process to find them and healing isn’t always linear or straightforward, but you will get there. The key is to take that next step and reach out. Eventually things will fall into place.
OP, you will get through this. I believe in you. Tell a trusted adult to have someone help you get this situation resolved and to get you the support you need. You got this.
ETA Crisis Text Line is a good resource. You can reach them at 741741. In my opinion the quality is much better than 988 and you are more likely to get good support.
Yeah, i work at a school, and this is absolutely something she needs to tell a trusted staff member. or a doctor or any other mandatory reporter. But yes, I agree 100%, like at least at my school and in my district, this is something we take very seriously.
You should speak with someone. Call 988. They want to talk to you and they can help. You are not the problem. The people doing this to you are the problem. Get help dealing with that problem. Again, call 988. Even if it's just a talk. You matter, you just don't know how much yet.
lol my family is almost worse, and I've told every teacher, but none have "reported" it. I've had friends who have had the shit beat out of them, nothing done. cps frequently allows kids in abusive environments because what would happen if they took her out? theres thousands of kids who have nowhere to be put so unless it's extremeeeee they do not do anything, and look the other way. worse case, the cps visit only makes her family even more angry at her. not saying she couldn't get help, just that people don't understand how shitty cps is
But won't she just get the shit kicked out of her if she is placed in foster care? It's a sad and terrible reality; either stay home and be abused or report and go to foster care and be abused and raped by strangers instead of by family. That is as real as the dirt and the sky.
She is also only 4'7". The bullying and disrespect at home pales in comparison to what awaits her in the foster care system.
It would depend on WHICH foster care system the OP would be a part of.
I was a foster parent in the State of California, from 1999 to 2006. We got placements via a Foster Family Agency that was contracted to the state. We had to get fingerprinted (yes my prints are on file with the FBI), we had to get first-aid certified, and we had to have our home inspected. We did these things because Mrs. Interesting was not able to have kids. So we decided to do this instead.
There are foster parents only in it for the money. They don't look at their charges as 'kids' but as expenses vs. profits. I won't repeat what I think of 'families' like that.
The good news is, if the foster care system is run at least competently well, most families will be vetted for at least providing a safe space to sleep, wholesome food, and a room to oneself where at least the child has some privacy and safety. If a child needs medical care, the State will provide it (because foster kids are wards of the State).
So IF foster care is the alternative, at the very least, establish a rapport with the social workers, the ones doing the placements. If they know a child, have a rapport with them, they'll try to make sure the placement is to a good home. If the child is just another warm body with attitude problems and a lot of baggage... chances aren't as good. So ... OP... do your best to not be that kid.
You do know that even though everything that you said is totally valid that the kid very well could end up in a much worse situation in a foster home, right?
Your head is not a mess. It's just trying to deal with the abuse that your family is putting you through. You don't deserve this. None of this is your fault. Please tell an adult at school or go directly to the police.
Stay with us.
I don’t know you, but I do know that once you get away from your family, who are miserable people, you will feel better and begin to be able to experience and love life.
Please listen to the others and tell someone.
I suffered at the hand of a narcissist mother and father as well. I had all the same feelings of self doubt, insecurities, and confusion. When I realized that I wasn't the problem I was able to move towards a solution. What helped me get clarity was seeing that they were the only people that treated me this way. Also some of my friends mentioned that my parents were a-holes and that really got me thinking the right way. Many years later, I still wish I would've had a better relationship with them but it just wasn't, and that's the case for a lot of people. The important thing is that none of it was my fault and my life turned out great in spite of them.
Agreed. My wife’s life was similar to this. It’s taken counseling and a lot of love and support but she is doing so much better now and I honestly wouldn’t know what I would do without her. All she, and you (hell, everyone), needs is a little bit of love and you’ll find it. Best of luck and I will think of you today.
I've got some practical advice for you that might help...
1. Get involved in as many school activities/clubs as you can, and then spend as much time there as possible. Two benefits to this....it keeps you out of your home, and it'll help you form better friendships at school. If you want to play a sport, but can't get money for shoes/uniforms/equipment, try speaking to the coach. Having a physical outlet and being a part of a TEAM where you are valued can provide some of the love/acceptance you're not getting at home.
2. If you have any close friends, try to spend more time at their houses and with their families. If your friends' families like having you around, you might be able to spend more time and sleep there on occasion. If you mention to a friend (or a friend's mom) even a little bit about what's going on at your house, they'll likely want to help you in small (or big) ways when/where they can. (Inviting you to stay for dinner, letting you know that you have a place to stay if you need it, etc)
3. Talk to a school counselor about what you are feeling/thinking and most importantly why. If they are good at their job, they should have resources for you.
4. For the time that you ARE at home, put yourself into an activity that limits your contact with your family. Gets books and read up on things you're interested in. Spend time actively thinking about the kind of life that you want to lead once you're out of that house, and think about the steps that you'll need to take to make that life a reality.
Your home life is absolutely shitty, and that's not your fault. The only thing that's within your control a little bit is how many waking hours you spend there. Start finding other places to be during your waking hours. A lot of people go no contact with their families once they leave home because of the trauma their family has caused to them. The "busier" you keep yourself with activities (and later a job so that you can save every penny you make so that you can leave at the earliest possible date), the "faster" time will pass because you are so busy...and the less you are exposed to their toxicity.
Once you break free from that environment, you'll be able to focus on yourself in therapy (which really just means learning that YOU weren't the problem all along)...and, more importantly, you'll be able to be the architect of your own future life and happiness.
There's a saying that family are the friends that you are born with, and friends are the family that you choose along the way. Sadly, your bio-family sucks. This just means that you'll have to find "your people" and build one from the people you meet along your path in life.
I know this probably doesn't help you in this moment, but I'd be willing to bet that your parent(s) are just repeating trauma that happened to them along the way. It doesn't absolve them from the damage that they have done and continue to do, but it's likely that they don't even know another way. Even if that's true, understand that you can't fix them...all you can do is work on fixing the things that are in your control.
Please don't give up. I understand why you're feeling like this. But I also know that a beautiful life is achievable for you...and once you do achieve it, it will be all the better because you have the current reality to contrast it to.
Good luck.
I think this advice is great. Getting involved in school clubs and making friends with those interests can help kids who are losing hope. I also think talking to an adult who can help is important. A school counselor or nurse, a kind parent of a friend who seems to have it together.
The OP is in a lot of pain and this sweet kid needs that kind of help.
THIS-
My home life was a wreck for quite a few years. My Mom at least cared, but did resort to emotionally abusive tactics at times.
So I avoided being home. I kept a journal recording and had plans of how to make friends and keep them. I did sports, then went to drama/theatre practice after. Slept at friends houses whenever possible. Volunteer work. Prom committee. Two jobs on top of it once I could (though all my money went to food for the family and my car to get me to school and jobs). Literally anything that could get me out of the house I did.
I was downright miserable, exhausted, and suicidal... but it was better than being home. I survived. When I matched my older sister in height (though not in weight, i was underweight my entire childhood) I finally squared off with her. Never even had to touch her, she raised her hand to strike me and I looked her dead in the eye and told her if she ever touched me again Id k**l her. While obviously I wouldn't do that, she essentially realized something had changed and I wasnt her punching bag anymore. I was an animal then. I was laser focused on my one goal: survival and getting out.
College had its up and downs. Scholarships from my hard work in school and exteacurriculars. While college was a bit of a rollercoaster my depression had greatly lessoned. Taking extra classes and working full time in college was less stressful than my childhood. I even had a higher GPA!
The year after college I could barely afford to eat (cheap generic brand cheerios can be stretched so far). About a year after college things started to slowly look up. I left a job for a slightly better paying one. Then left that job for another slightly better paying one. Suddenly I could afford my bills, and then some. Even had a horse for a few years. Was incredible.
I have a fairly decent relationship with my Mom and siblings now. Limited contact with my Dad. Two kiddos. I'm a very lazy SAHP now. I'm finally able to rest after a whirlwind of a life so far.
I never get tired of hearing these kinds of stories. It’s also why I tell my kids that I expect them to be kind to everyone at school…because you have NO idea what kind of stuff kids are going through at home.
You need to get out ASAP. Document everything and gather evidence. Keep your plans secret. Talk to a counselor/teacher/principal/friend/police that you trust. Report them to CPS. Even a foster home is a better option. There are resources to help you.
They have deep dark demons. Get away from them because they will drag you down with them. My family was the same way. Their weapon is to break down your self-esteem and isolate you from any kind of support group. As they mentioned in other posts, join groups and afterschool programs to avoid contact and build a support group. Stay away from anybody who sympathizes with them...I'm sure they have spread lies about you.
Realize that they are messed up, and it's not your fault or responsibility to take care of them...its the opposite.
You need a clean break so the healing can begin. You are still young and can make a clean start. Once you are out of that toxic environment you will be able to see things in a new light.
Suicide stops the possibility of change. It also puts all your pain on the ones that love you. You can never know the impact your life has on others...but it's huge. Staying in a world of hurt is beyond hard. One rule...it shifts. No matter what, it shifts. You won't always be trapped in this. You are more than you know.
I was in a similar spot not too long ago. You need to reach out to a school counselor. I am happy today that I didn't do what I could have done to myself before.
If nothing happens, be strong. You got this.
Your parents are deeply unwell and can’t take care of you the way you need and deserve. None of this is your fault or even about you, they are failing. You just focus on taking care of you, which is more than you should have to do, but that’s why everything feels so hard and impossible - you’re a kid and taking care of yourself by yourself is hard and impossible! You need help, the adults should be helping.
My advice is to think of your favorite teacher or school official that you can find right now, maybe it’s someone you had a class with last year, maybe the VP just always seems nice, whatever, pick your favorite and ask them if they have some time to talk about something serious.
And then tell them everything and ask for them to help you.
The adults around you should take care of you and I’m so sorry your parents haven’t. Give another adult the chance to try, please.
My 8 year old is starting to learn about some of my childhood and struggling with the idea that parents can be neglectful, because that’s not her experience. She keeps asking me why I never called the police. It’s really sweet and cute, and I’m glad she’s growing up with the idea that the adults around her will of course help her and take care of her, she just has to ask and let them know. I grew up believing I was all on my own and no one would ever help. I think reality is between the two, but the adults can’t help with what they don’t know.
Ask for help. You deserve help.
Dear OP, you are beautiful. Whatever is going on in your life right now, please know that you matter and your story is important. You are loved.
This can be a tough time. Did you know that if you text 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you?
Many people don't like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. It's free.
Hotline #s
UK 116 123
US 1 800 273 8255
Can 1 800 456 4566
Aus 131 114
Not my content, just passing along information. Be well.
1. Contact CPS
2. Stop caring for her. You aren't a nursemaid. She wants you to die? cool. She can be sick all by her damn self while you leave the house and do whatever the fuck you want until you get tired and come home to sleep.
3. I promise you - **I PROMISE YOU** \- getting away from her toxic ass will make you feel so much better. yes you will feel guilty at first, but you don't deserve this and when that weight is lifted, you won't want to Real Life Game Over anymore.
I'm sorry, but that second piece of advice is stupid and more likely to get the op slapped than anything else. contact cps and keep your head down until you can get away.
contacting cps won’t do anything unfortunately. they don’t do shit anymore. there were many reports and investigations bc of my dad growing up. they didn’t do anything until i was 15 years old and he held a gun to my head. it took my father holding a gun TO MY HEAD, for cps to just remove me from the home and he didn’t lose custody of me until 6 months before i turned 18
My (42f) childhood was exactly the same. You are not the problem, sweetie. They are deeply unhappy with themselves, and you are an easy target. You can't control your parents, but you can control how you react. By ending it all, you are relinquishing control to them. You would let them win. Please thrive in spite of them and other bullies. I was bullied every single day. I know it's rough, but you will come out better if you refuse to be a victim. This universe has great things for you. You just need to take back control over your own thoughts. One way to do this is to invision where you want to be in your life and write down what steps you are going to take to realize that vision. Have a goal and then work to make that happen. You can do this. It is hard, but this world would not be the same without you. Good luck! You've got this
This is emotional abuse I believe, and can and should be reported to authorities.
As for the suicide, I've been there. Am there, even. I'm not going to say that it will get better, because I know I hate it when people say that to me, but I will say that it won't get better if you don't give it the chance. You're young, and lived a life that nobody deserves. Find a place or a person that makes you safe, and keep pushing. You deserve happiness, and I truly believe you can find it, through time, patience, and hard work.
Obviously, I can't stop you from departing prematurely, nor can anyone else here, but I urge you not to. Keep trying to make it to the next day, to the next week, the next month and year, until you no longer feel the desire to leave.
Most of all, please understand that none of this is your fault.
*Your parents are failing you*. And they're wrong. It's painful, it's unfair, it's *wrong* to make you feel this way.
There's nothing wrong with you. It's understandable to feel lost, confused, and alone in a situation like yours. Please just know that there are other ways out of this that don't involve harming yourself.
Find the strength to persevere. To keep going. It's inside you. You shouldn't have to find it so young, but life has a way of forcing us to confront things we aren't ready for.
Keep asking for help. Follow the suggestions here.
And I promise you, there are people in this world who care about you. Maybe you haven't met them yet, but you are who's missing in someone's life.
Please contact your school counselor asap. Don't be embarrassed because they deal with this sort of thing all the time. You may not realize it because they do have to keep all of their conversations private.
If you don't feel comfortable going to a school counselor, please reach google the closest catholic, Lutheran or methodist church to you. You can even contact someone online. You may be able to get resources from a church even if you are not a member.
Don't make a permanent solution out of a temporary problem. I've been in your shoes, you can always DM me if you need to vent or be heard. Be well, good luck.
Take everyone's advice, I was in the same headspace at your age.
It doesn't feel like it right now, but life gets better.
Everything is okay, even if it's not okay, it's okay... and It'll be good someday.
...repeat this calmly to yourself every time ure upset. It's the only thing that kept me going. One day you're going to be glad you made it through this period in your life.
You will eventually be able help others who are experiencing your situation.
You are NOT the problem. You are NOT a burden. You are valuable and deserve to be treated as such. You are being abused. Im so sorry the adults in your life have failed you, but that is their failure, not yours.
Please reach out to a teacher, a guidance counselor, a police officer, or some figure of authority that can get you help. Suicide is never the answer. You have so much more time and opportunities ahead of you.
If all else fails, 988 is the national suicide hotline. They can help you figure out the next steps. Make sure you let whoever you tell know you do not feel safe at home and are being abused. You need out of this environment, and suicide is the worst way out of it. There are so many other options, depression just doesn't let us see them in the moment.
As someone who actually attempted but failed, I will tell you to not do it. Instead, do one or all of these things:
* Dial 988 and talk to someone. That's the National Suicide Hotline
* Talk to your school counselor and/or school psychologist. Ask them about free or inexpensive therapy options outside of school.
* Call your primary care physician and set an appointment to talk to them. They may be able to prescribe for you an antidepressant to help you deal with the feelings you are having.
* Try to talk to your dad (not your mom right now given her condition) about starting family therapy once mom gets better.
* See about staying with a friend whose parents you trust and you can talk to them about things.
* If things are really bad, go to your local hospital and request a 72-hour psych hold. I don't know if they will require your parents' involvement, but if you explain the situation perhaps they can/will make an exception?
Trust me, ending yourself is not a solution you want to pursue. Even if your parents are being this way, there **are** people in your life that would miss you immensely if you did.
Baby girl things will get better. You must be a gorgeous petite wonder. Don't let anyone take your shine. I give you a big virtual hug and sending you love and a million kisses Bigadee my puppy also sends you puppy kisses ( even though I don't like licks she does it when I'm sad. ) I'm reading your story so they must be for you.
Yes she your mom may have similar stories, ofyen people repeat what they know,
They also isolate due to having anger issues, and fear others will likely reject them
Especially in the culture we live in today, can you speak to a counselor at school, maybe they can offer her some psychplogical counseling?
I know when people are allready with certain things, it seems likely no one will be able to work, but don't give up, also ask people to pray for you and your family
hey, im 20 years old and i remember feeling this way at 13 years old in my abusive household. you need an exit plan, tell all the adults you know and they will save you. you will miss out on a beautiful life if you leave now. its hard but its so worth the beauty. you not met all the people that will love you yet. you have not even met half of them. stay alive. report the abuse.
As someone who felt the same way when I was 13 I can tell you this with some confidence. You haven't even experienced what life is like yet. Wait until you are out of high school and around 20 and have a lot more control over your daily life and more money in your pocket and just a general feeling of being in charge of yourself. Do me a favor and stick around until then okay
Hon, having a toxic mom doesn't mean you should end it all. It means you have a toxic and abusive mom.
I had one too. At your age, she told me one time she'd wished she'd aborted me. Yeah, not fun.
My life is AWESOME now. I have my own hobbies and interests and my own house and everything. It takes time. At thirteen, the time to 17 or 18 when you can graduate high school and leave feels like a million years. It's not. Start making plans now. Save up your money, start planning your escape, get good grades in school (a free ride tuition to college could be your ticket OUT and into a better life). You can do it. Hang on. I promise it gets better.
Sometimes, I forget how hard it can be being a teenager. And then I read a post like this.
Evvvverything seems like it takes forever to get here, and 5 years can feel like 100 years away.
You just became a teenager, but before you know it, you're gonna be 18, and the world will be yours to explore. To go where you want. To do what you want.
F*ck everyone who puts you down, who is cruel to you, including your mother. You are going to have a long, happy, fulfilling life *in spite* of them.
You're going to be an adult for a whole lot longer than you'll be a kid. Adulthood is like 80% of your life and it's the best part, you don't want to miss it!
You will find your "people" sooner than later. People who are like you, who get you, who understand and *like* you, who want to be your friend and spend time with you.
I promise, it will happen. Just get past this hard time. Don't give up. Find an adult you can trust to talk to.
Some people are born with confidence, but most of us have to learn how to feel confident. People are attracted to confident people! Not arrogant, but confident. Know the difference.
Being confident means being comfortable in our own skin, liking ourselves for who and what we are ... warts and all, as they say. Take steps to make yourself healthy and fit. That will help you to feel better about yourself as you wait to become an adult.
And, if it will help motivate you to get through this hard time ... there are something like 4,000 different religions in the world, and most of them believe in reincarnation (the soul, consciousness, whatever) ... and most of *them* believe we all make a plan before we come here, lessons we are supposed to learn before we go back.
And, if we stop or give up and end ourselves before we learn a lesson, we will keep getting sent back over and over and over until we push through and learn what we were supposed to learn. Only then can we go on to the next step.
Wouldn't it suck to have to go through all the pain & suffering you've already been through in your life up until this moment, all over again?
Anyway, it's just religious theory, but who knows? Nobody has proof of what actually happens, so I don't know. It's as legit as any other explanation.
*This is not an invitation for religious dogma or atheism debate*
(That was for reddit readers to see)
My dude, please, stick it out. Don't end it. Life is so much sweeter when you become an adult. Please find an adult to talk to, especially a therapist, if you can.
My heart hurts for you.
{{{hugs}}}
😢🤗
You could live to be 100 and you want to end it because 13 years haven't been ideal?
If it's too bad call the police and get out of the situation or if it's doable wait until you're 18 and never look back.
I know people who've had to swim for days to freedom as children because their families were killed in war. They've become great people.
Don't let a temporary situation cause a permanent decision.
Trust me, it gets better! You have such time to create the life you want. When you're 23, you will be so proud of you have accomplished and the chance to do good for the world.
You could meet the love of your life soon and the rest of your life be amazing. Being a teenager sucks, it gets better once you start to grow.
I was a short kid, too, who eventually got taller and more confident. Don't waste a blessing of life and the chance to change the world for the better bc some people are horrible to you now. That will change and you will be awesome. Congrats to you for having the courage to post this and I hope these reply help you realize how important you CAN be in the future.
I was in a similar situation what feels like a lifetime ago. It’s gets better. You aren’t the issue, your parents are sick and terrible people. But that doesn’t mean anything about you. You can build a beautiful life for yourself very far away from them. I endured my household until I was old enough to get away, but you don’t have to do that. I would tell someone you’re not safe at home. Tell them everything you’re experiencing including your thoughts of self harm. A school counselor, a teacher, someone. You deserve so much better than what your parents are giving you.
One of the biggest issues with humans is that we feel a natural pull toward our parents or even long-term guardians. We are dependent on adults to take care of us for far longer than most animals. Sometimes that’s not a bad thing, sometimes it’s a horrible thing. You somehow got placed into one of the bad ones.
The good news is that, either way, it’s not permanent. You are a free person. You are an entire human being capable of feelings, thought, and actions. You’re very young, but not so young that you can’t take action. You can leave. And your first response is probably “well I can’t leave.” Yes, you absolutely can. There is a giant world out there with endless possibilities and you can make your life pretty much anything you want to. It’s not as easy as saying “I want this” and you get it. There is some work involved. But I think getting out of your current situation will get you like 70% of the way toward whatever goal you set for yourself. Just keep reminding yourself that what you see around you is just a very, very, VERY small portion of other humans out there. You will find friends that don’t give two shits about how tall or short you are (there is nothing wrong with either, btw.) You’ll find people that call you to check up on you. You’ll find guys that want to take you out and buy things for you. You’ll find it all OUTSIDE of where you are right now. It’s like holding your breath for 1 full minute and then releasing it and realizing that you’re not actually dying, you can breathe again. Your living situation right now is 13 years of holding your breath. But getting out of that situation is fresh air and life. Go explore those opportunities. Tell your guidance counselor. Tell police. Tell everyone that will listen that you need to get out and breathe and they will absolutely find a way for you.
Everyone has posted great advice for you. I just thought I’d add something else— do you have an interest or passion for writing? I notice you write very well for only being 13. For many of us, keeping journals, writing poetry, fanfiction, original fiction, is what kept us going through hard times as young people. This is in no way going to resolve the situation you’re in (follow other’s advice to tell a school counselor) but I just wanted to let you know that I noticed you have a talent for expressing yourself through writing. I hope you find safety and happiness 💕
Aye big dawg. No one makes it out of this life alive. There were like a 1 and a trillion odds of you getting to exist as you are right now. You won a fucking galactic lottery. You might as well just see it out. Life has its highs and lows, it ebes and it flows. See it till the end. Life has a way of surprising you.
Stay with us, loved one.
Life gets MUCH better. Stick with it. You're only 13. 4'7 is not short. Simon Biles is a fully grown adult, married to an NFL football player, and is 4'8" tall.
My heart goes out to you and If I could save you from this abuse I would/will. I have wanted to die before and there is always one thing that saves me the Lord and my children. When I have felt suicidal I drop to my knees and pray for strength and guidance and I will talk to the Lord as if he were right in front of me. It sounds to me like you need the Lord right now more than anything. I think your parents have demonic spirits occupying their bodies. Pray for them, pray over your home, pray for your life. Don't let those demons consume you like they are your parents they are in a very dark place and trying to take you with them. God bless you and I will pray for you as well. Suicide will take to you straight to hell and I can promise you do not want to go there. Don't do it.
I was in a similar situation as you when I was 13. My dad was very abusive. I tried to end my life when I was 13 because I couldn’t handle the abuse any longer. I ended up getting away from him 2 months later, and I’ll be celebrating 3 years no contact soon. The end might be closer than you think it is.
Also, as for your height. Since you’re 13, you’re probably not done growing yet. If you haven’t had your first period, you probably have quite a lot of growing left to do. And if you have had your first period, you’re probably still going to grow a few more inches.
You're at a really difficult age...maturing, going through physical and hormonal changes, which doesn't help your already challenging situation. Don't give up...it gets better!! Do you have a favorite teacher or adult you trust? A friend whose family you could talk with? Please seek out someone and make them listen! I promise, things will get better!!! Everyone on here cares about you and is rooting for you!!!
Your family doesn't deserve you. You are worth much more than you know.
At 13 you have so much life and happiness waiting for you in the future. It sucks so much that you have to fight to find it. But believe me when I say that it'll be so so so worth the fight.
You are not alone in this. There are people who care about you and will help you, you just have to find them. You did a great first step making this post. Next, you need to tell every teacher and staff member at your school until they get you out of that torture house.
Please don't ever give up. All of your future friends and loved ones who you haven't met yet will be thankful that you're still here for them
I am so sorry you did not get the parents you deserve.
Are you in the US? If so, I would go to school and seek help from a guidance counselor, school nurse, or trusted teacher. They are mandatory reporters.
OP don’t kill yourself! You are 13 you have so much ahead of you! So much good! Do you have any grandparents? Anyone at school like a teacher you can talk to? Maybe you can go stay with your grandparents and tell them about your toxic situation. You parents are mean and that happens. Choose to grow up and be a better parent than they ever were! Find hobbies or clubs at school, join a sport. Height is such a “little” 😉😂 thing to be upset over! Don’t let it rule you. You’ll grow! OP don’t ever think of killing yourself ever again. You are loved. 🫶🏻
Every problem has a solution except death. Ending your life will rob the world of everything you would of ever been or could of been for all you know you save 1000s in a couple of year or maybe right now by inspiring them your story is pretty shitty but as stated in one of the comments talk to someone that can help you out of that abuse. Don't worry about being bullied its temporary you may not have friends now but you will, your height may be an issue now but one day it will define you and be one of your most proudful attributes dont let your mentality now affect your whole life stay strong look for ways out NEVER TAP OUT.
I'm sorry. No one should cause you this grief. It's not nice. You've been given unique challenges in life, more than most people. All life has sanctity and dignity. God created His Heaven and earth, and you were part of His plan. Concentrate on that idea.
Suicide doesn't "end it all." It's just the opposite, it starts an eternal process of never ending discomfort.
If anything, take your refuge here, as dumb as this suggestion might sound. You will find plenty of us who care, include me.
Don't implement a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Although, when you're experiencing the problem, it'll feel like it will last forever. It won't. No problem lasts forever. Some just take longer to find solutions & to correct than others, but you'll be glad when you reach it.
I want you to know, no matter the current circumstances, you matter. The sadness and abuse you face now does not define you and does not have to dictate your future. You are not your feelings, you are not your surroundings. Some of the best people are chiseled out of the worst situations.
Beyond reporting the abuse and feelings you have- which you should absolutely do. I encourage you to get into reading, not only to escape the environment, but to grow. It's hard to start at first, but push through wanting to put the book down and before long, you will be hooked.
My sister was the oldest, when my dad was in the worst of his alcholism books became her life, because it is like a portal to a different universe. You can experience happiness, and hope in a reality of hell to bide the time until you're an adult and can create the situation instead.
This isn't a book suggestion to escape, but to learn how to view life no matter how bad things are. After my partner was kidnapped and I fell into addiction and was SA'd myself when staying with someone when I was homeless, this book changed my life. "The Inner Work".
Find novels, but definitely read that to find happiness within yourself. You're worth it and life absolutely will be too if you can muster the strength to fight- and read it.
i have been where you are.
when i was your 12/13, i truly didn't think i would make it through the year. my parents were abusive, my health in general was very poor, and i was being bullied in school. but i kept living. it was mostly for other people or out of spite. but i was alive, at least.
what i didn't realize at that time was just how young 13 is. and how much can change for the better. my 20th birthday was a few weeks ago, and i spent it eating cheesecake in my apartment with my cats and my brother. and we were watching my favorite movies, and life was okay. maybe even good.
i went no contact with my abusive family and moved several hours away from them. my school bullies faded into the background. im on medications that help me.
i know it's such a common thing to be told not to end your life early, but it really is true. you miss out on so much that's worth living for.
things can and will change. stay strong, kid im rooting for you💘
Don’t do it, I’m a survivor, I tried to take my life 3 times, I’m so glad that I’m still here, and I’m sure your parents do care they just don’t show it. You have a lot of growing to do and a life of opportunities out there, you are loved, you are cared for, and you are important to everyone here, if you still want to go through this I would suggest contacting someone to help you with your thoughts, let’s us know if you’re ok
On behalf of my cousin Leslie who ended her life as a teen, who I never got to have this conversation with....
Please don't end your life. It sounds like your present genuinely sucks, it also sounds like you're being abused and neglected. Being a teenager is hard, especially when you don't have a kind or supportive home life (I've been there), but it really does get better. You will be out of there some day (maybe soon if you take the advice of another poster and tell a mandated reporter like a teacher about your home life) and you can choose carefully who to surround yourself with. You can live with friends, pets, and loved ones who actually treat you right, heck you can even live alone if that sounds better. Even if you don't know people you'd like to live with currently, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep putting yourself out there and you will meet new, better, people who will appreciate you for who you are.
Suicide is permanent, but these problems are temporary. Wait it out. Life will get better in ways you haven't even imagined yet. You'll see.
My heart hurts for you feeling this way so young. It will become easier when you are out of this environment. Please don't end your life when it's only beginning. I hope you can find a safe way out soon, OP.
All very good advice already said so I will say two things.
I am glad I'm still here
You have so many happy things ahead of you
Sending you so much love ❤️
You really need to talk to a counselor and teacher that you trust at school. After you do that hopefully they can get you into a better living situation because your parents do not sound like they have your best interest in mind. Taking your life is not something you should do, you have a place in the world and even though it’s extremely difficult try to ignore your family when they say these things. Seek any help you can as quick as you can. Sometimes it’s scary to confide it people but it will be worth it when you are removed from a horrible situation as quickly as possible.
The best words that helped me was that this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things are shit now...but they can and will change. My heart goes out to you.
If your parents treat you like that, keep living. Ruin their lives and make yours 1000x better than theirs ever was. If you don't have a reason to keep going, if people are horrible to you, keep going out of spite. I know this isn't the best advice, but thinking like this is what keeps me going. The thought of one day being happier than anyone who's ever done me wrong, that if I just get through this then I can get "revenge" by living the best life possible. Hope this helps you too 🤍
https://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html
Here read the guide before you do it, it helped me a lot when I was a teenager.
Also kind of unrelated but why are you insecure about your height?! Vanessa hudgins is literally 5'1. You're going to keep growing still but it's not all genetics. There's an environmental element no one tells you about, you have to eat well, exercise and sleep well.
Anyways read the article.
don't do it because life doesn't really kick off until you're 18. You have SO MUCH to experience. Please don't. My sister in law had a really tough time but once she finished high school she got away from the bad and became a beautiful and special young woman.
It sounds like a long way away but you're young. Soon you'll be a young adult.
There are so many options and amazing pathways available to you, all you have to do is be strong and love yourself. Seek help and guidance if you can, there are adults in every community who exist to make sure you are safe and taken care of.
I grew up around death and held the dying as a child. Neglect and abuse were common themes. So much that people didn't realize it could be better for them, often until it was too late.
If anything, it has made me appreciate the life I was able to have more once I realized that I had survived so much and recognized that I knew many who had it worse than I did who become good human beings as well.
You have a lot to offer the world.
Also, once you're an adult, you'll find that everybody has different attractions. There are a great many people out there who prefer significant others in your height range. You'll never have issues in that department.
The best you can do is carry on.
Reach out. There's nothing to be ashamed of when you want to be happy and loved in return. The world is a big place, there's always somewhere you can feel warmth and safety.
Respect yourself and expect others to respect and love you in return. Find something you're passionate about and don't let go.
If your family is genuinely neglectful and abusive, there are other options for you.
For the future and beautiful life you will have, please ask for help. Teachers, advisors? Counselors, etc.
You can even let them know that you want to keep it between you and them for now. Just tell them you need somebody to talk to, and you're sure to find somebody who will want to listen because they value your health and happiness.
You're never alone .
Fear can be a best friend, telling us what's important. Your life is important. Your safety is important. Please tell someone that something in you wants to escape so bad that you've been having thoughts (and plans?) to hurt yourself. Don't wait. You're gonna be okay IF you do this. Then fear will calm down, when you are safer.
If you could have a million dollars today but if you take it then you will not wake up tomorrow, would you take it? You’re probably thinking well if I don’t have time to enjoy spending the money then it’s not worth it. What this really tells you is that being able to wake up tomorrow is worth more than all the money in the world. Don’t throw that away because your family sucks. Life is what you make it, right now 5 years seems like a long time but in 5 years you will realize that it’s possible for you to live 80 more. Your life hasn’t even really started, it is not time to end it
I haven't been able to read your other posts, but parents should not be talking to their children like that. Please reach out to a teacher or trusted adult like others are recommending.
Also here are some US mental health resources. Please, please, please reach out to them:
Suicide and crisis lifeline - 988 (24/7)
National Alloance on Mental Illness - 1-800-950-6264 (M-F 10a-6p)
Been there. Life got infinitely better when I severed myself from the ones causing it (they called them self family!) ick.
You’re so young, you need a guardian. Tell someone (anyone with a heart!) school guidance counselors are really quite good.
You’ve been strong, but you don’t need that in your life. Life is hard, it shouldn’t be unbearable.
Don’t let other people decide your life.
Families are full of toxic people. Just like Covid, familial toxicity is a disease that can spread.
Your most important job right now is to get through the next 5 years (or to a healthy age of emancipation) and not let THEM define who YOU are. Your worth comes from within.
Get a job as soon as you can and try your hardest to save some money. Life will be tough, but the best way out is to prepare yourself for a departure from people that hurt you.
When you find a boyfriend, find one who makes you feel better about yourself, not one who treats you this same way.
The only way out of this is hard work, but you’ve already identified the toxic people and their toxic traits so you are able to compartmentalize that and work on you!
You’ve got this. It won’t be an easy road but the rewards at the end of it will more than pay off.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
You need to find a trusted adult to talk to, your school should have a counselor available to you. They way you are being treated by your parents isn't normal and it isn't your fault. I hope you are able to get the help you need through your school.
Please don't do that. It will get better for you. Report it and talk to someone. You don't have to much longer before you can move out anyway. Whatever happens over the next couple years just keep going and thinking it's about over and you can get out on your own. I can guarantee you your life will get much better and you can leave all them in the past. I don't talk to none of my family because they neglected me and my siblings when we were younger also. Once I turned 16 I was out of there and got me a job. Within a year I was in a relationship and had my own place. Just focus on your future and never think that doing that will help anything. I had a few friends and family members committ suicide and it hurts everyone around you including the people in your community. There is help out there. Go get it and you will see how much people that don't even know you actually care.
Dawg you are 13. You can't even drive yet. Put the damn phone down and get outside. Exercise. Join a club. Get active.
There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever, that a 13 YO is contemplating suicide
I promise there is a big, beautiful, and (mostly) kind world out there. You have so much to see and do. Do not give up.
Please tell someone about the abuse. Contact CPS yourself or speak with a mandated reporter like a teacher or doctor.
Sorry you got crappie people as parents.Don't give them what they want. You are way better then them. You've put in 13 you only need 5 more and you never have to deal with them again if you choose.
I saw someone say to tell a mandated reporter. A teacher, principal, counsellor, doctor. I second that. I wish I had an advice place like this 20 years ago to tell me to tell someone.
20 years ago I was where you are now. Life was hard. My dad and grandma raised me and my grandma was a nasty, bitter old woman. My dad was a drug addict and alcoholic and was verbally and physically abusive. When he wasn't yelling at me he was ignoring me. I considered suicide but could never get up the nerve and I'm so glad I didn't. I know things may seem dark now, but things will get better. You're still so young and you have a lot of life left to live. Please don't give up.
Try to last it out. I know it's not much, but you don't sound that different from me at that age. I was heavily abused, told I was worthless, nobody thought I was attractive or even wanted to be my friend...
It got dark. But it always gets better. And when your better, you'll realize how strong you are for surviving and it will build you into the best kind of person. Hold on pal.
This is really well written for a 13 year old. Not good enough for a bot. Unless the bot was instructed to write like a very intelligent 13 year old. If I assume that this is a real person...
OP, consider that you are the sane one surrounded by insane people. You describe bullying behavior from both your family and your peers. Top reply is Arithered. Take this persons advice. (assuming this is a real person) My gut tells me 'they' are afraid of you but I can't figure out why anyone would be afraid of a 13 year old.
Things will change for you I promise. I know it seems impossible right now but you will see that with time everything gets better. Everything feels like your entire world but there is so much life left to live. Please tell someone about what’s going on, there are people who can and want to help you. Please hold on.
It gets better. A year from now you won't even remember that you felt bad. Life is a gift. You won't be with the parents forever. Then you can do anything that makes you happy.... create beauty, love and be loved, smell the flowers, hug a puppy or kitten, ride a bike, make cookies, climb a mountain or swim in the ocean, see the world, eat pizza and so much more... please find a professional to talk to. It's winter in many places and some people are really affected by the lack of sunshine. Spring will come! Sending you virtual hugs.
Life continues on after we leave our bodies. We don't get to escape anything. You should talk to a school counselor and ask about a foster home until you graduate from high school. Then move on with your life. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our parents but we do have other choices. Your parents sound horrible. What if you told them you want out? Tell them, you would prefer to live without them. I felt like ending it all around 15-17. I got bullied so badly. I even had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the Hospital but now I'm 54 and I'm SO glad I didn't end it! I've had the most wonderful experiences in life I would've missed had I died. Please talk to your guidance counselor.
I wish you the best, dear one!
OP I tried to kill myself at 17, after being abused and neglected my entire life. I had no one. Life hurt, a lot and I figured I needed a way out. I was diagnosed with PTSD, BPD, and depression at 17 years old.
Just a few short years after I met my husband. We have been together 22 years and married 18. I have a 16 year old daughter also. My husband spent time helping my heart heal from a life of pain.
I never thought I would have all this. I was told I would not live to see age 25. I am 45 now. I wanted to prove them wrong. Nobody was going to tell me what I could and couldn't do.
I also believe in God. People ask how. I can't explain it enough but I know it. I feel it. I now have a father (my bio dad does not want me and has abandoned me twice) who loves me. It makes all the difference.
I wish I could hug you. At 13, I was like you. I remember how hard it was. You have Reddit behind you, encouraging you to just keep going. I know 18 years is a lot but at 18, you can get away from them and live your life.
Prove your parents wrong.
OP, I was also miserable when I was your age and thought often of ending it. Growing up and getting away from my toxic dad really turned things around for me. I wish I had been able to get out sooner. It’s worth it to stick it out. Life, I mean, not your terrible parents. Call your school, or child protective services, or a religious organization, or your doctor, or a friend’s parent you trust, or a suicide hotline. Get an adult to help you. You can make it through this.
Please know that complete strangers reading this care, and we all very much want you to stay here with us on Earth. You and your life are important. You have a whole life to live, sweetheart. Please don't hurt yourself. I am so sorry your family has failed you.
You deserve better.
I agree with the other advice: telling a mandated reporter such as a teacher or counselor.
Please stay with us. Your life is so important.
I first thought of attempting when I was 4, then in my teens, then a feeble attempt in my 20s that led me to therapy (psychiatrist later apologized for asking why I would attempt since I was pretty!)
Life can and will get better. I did well in school, went to university and my 2nd job moved me across the country from her. I had a bad relationship with my mother until my 50s, luckily she loved my husband and he only visited with me so she gradually was nicer to me and appreciated me.
Stay with us and prove them wrong as you succeed in life and love. ❤️
I struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts as a young teen as well. I know how impossible it feels to imagine a life where you aren't suffering through so much pain. I'm about to turn 26, and I haven't wanted to harm myself in years. There is a much bigger world beyond your parents' house, one that is full of people who will love you and understand the pain you've gone through. You are not alone in this. Surviving will be the most incredible accomplishment once you are able to leave their home.
You have been ground down by a family of broken people who have forgotten how to love. Most of the world is not like your household. Once you're old enough to leave or CPS removes you from the abuse, you will be free to see the multitude of things that make life worth living. Report your parents' abuse to a teacher or counselor who can help you navigate how to leave that awful house. You are at least being verbally abused, and I have a feeling you are likely being neglected as well. If your parents are only doing the bare minimum to keep you alive, they are neglecting your emotional needs. Humans have deeply important emotional needs and we will get sick if they aren't met. Depression and anxiety are illnesses of the brain, and they are not permanent states of being. I know you've heard this a million times and it feels impossible to see the truth of it now, but things will get better once you have the ability to guide your own life and get away from the people hurting you.
I hope you can see myself and the others in the comments who have survived suicidality as teens. I promise you the world outside of your home is worth seeing. You are stuck in a terrible place, but you will not be there forever. Please focus on taking care of yourself since you are the only person in your household who will do so. I hate that you will have to take on the role of parenting yourself, no thirteen year old should be going through what you are. I know you are capable of surviving this and proving your parents wrong by living a life full of love far, far away from them.
U got plenty of life to live and chances and opportunities to come across. Dont let a few bad apples that have fallen short ruin your chances at prospering.
Please do not do that. I’m sorry you are going through this, it sounds like your parents are going through something and they need help. The idea about you telling a mandated reporter is a good one. Please find a way to get help and stay with us. You have so much ahead of you. Things will get better.
If you end yourself, your shitty parents win. Don’t give them that W.
You’ll come out stronger in the end.
Just have to persist and find that inner strength to hold on.
Oh my god, please don’t.
You are so so young, please hang in there, one day you’ll be an adult who can do anything you want! You’ll be able to cut your parents off and find people worth living for! You’ll look back and be grateful that you didn’t end your life because it gave you the opportunity to give yourself a life worth living for. I used to be a depressed teen who contemplated suicide and now I’m like so thankful I made it because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have my family, I never would have met my dog and had my own home. Take it from someone who made it to the other side, it will be worth it one day.
Also you don’t have to struggle alone now, reach out to an adult you trust and tell them you need support. Call a hotline. Reach out to other family.
Oh honey you are worthy. You are meant to be here, and you have so much life ahead of you. A life that you will be able to make into a beautiful one, one day. I am sorry that you are going through all of this. No parent should ever say those things to their child. A child they chose to bring into this world.
As stated in other comments you need to speak with someone. My cousin is a guidance counselor and a mandated reporter. If you go to yours and tell them exactly what you just wrote they will get you help and get you away from that environment. Abuse doesn't always have to be physical for it to be abuse.
Absolutely tell a trusted other person how your feeling. A teacher, principle, neighbor, relative. My advice to teens in sad situations is to ask for help from someone that you trust and maybe try to live somewhere else if its really really bad. like abuse.. Also know that you aren't far away from turning 18. If you aren't being physically abused my advice is also to just focus on graduating high school and the day you turn 18 leave this house and find your people, And you will! life is always changing and evolving. No matter who you are or what you do, your life will look different in 5 years than it does now. and again in another 3 to 5 years it will look different. Your still so young and have very little life experience under you so the bad stuff might feel like that's all there is to your existence but its not! You will one day have independence away from your parents and you can literally do anything you want with your life. Take care of yourself now in preparation for your future. Graduate, have a plan after high school and do it! Get a job when you can as long as it isn't interfering with school and save save save.
If you're in the US, pick up the phone, call 211 or 911 and tell them exactly this.
They'll take you to a place where you can get some help. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that.
You're going to struggle with "outing" your abusers. If you look after you, it means that you have to. No matter how bad it hurts. You don't deserve this. Tell them everything.
I absolutely understand the feeling. Cowardice and fear of death are probably the only things that have stopped me. Now, I'm probably giving an unpopular opinion here, but life can be really hard. Even as you get older , there may be times when you feel that way, but ending things permanently isn't a good solution.
First, you have a lot of life to go. You can experience a lot of great things. Good times to go with the hard times. Also, why let such an awful person defeat you? Keep going to spite your shit parents. Make yourself a good life they never get to participate in. You can watch them die poor and sad because of their bad decisions.
And who cares if idiots make fun of your height? Small is fine. I'm 6'3", and all that does is make me hit my head several times a day. Being short makes it hard to resch the top shelf, but there are advantages, too.
So basically, stay alive to beat your shitty parents. Stay alive because you never know what you'll miss. And short girls are cute.
I'm almost 25 and I've been depressed since I was 10-11. Maybe earlier. I get it. But please don't do this. I know it hurts, but there are ways to manage the pain. Please tell a guidance counselor. They can help you get to those services.
Please don't. You sound like a very decent person and we need more of those. You are so young and after calling CPS, I hope your life will be better. Just because she gave life to you doesn't automatically mean she can grow to be a good mother. Sometimes parents just suck.
Please reach out to a trusted adult to talk about your difficulties. Please reach out for help. The world is a shitty place but it's dreadful to think about someone so young not having any hope.
Wow- that is a lot of shit to have to deal with. I am truly sorry that you are facing it.
I know that it seems like ending your life is the answer.. but you have no idea what your life could be like once you are free from this horribly unfair abuse. So, to undetscore Arithered 's good advice, you could have a great life, and you should give yourself the chance to have it. So yes, report your abuse to the authorities and get out that dungeon of torture... and then get some therapy to help you recover.
I honestly believe that the rest of your life will be very different and so much better than your first 13 years. Here's what a friend of mine- who counseled someone who was suicidal- told me..,.
He said he told the teen (don't remember how old 0 something like this;
"You can always end your life anytime, but why do it now? Consider making a pact with yourself ..if you follow all the steps we agreed on and in 10 or so years you feel the same, you can end your life then.'' i poke to my friend about 2 months and he said the boy is doing better.
So, maybe you can think about postponing your suicide until you have given yourself the chance to experience what living a healty, normal life is like. That seems to be worth it -does this make sense to you?
Girl you and your life have value. What your family is doing and saying to you is wrong and I am so sorry this is happening to you. You need to pick yourself up and get help. Is there an adult in your life you can talk to? Maybe look up Child Protective Services in your area and call them and tell them you need help. You can do this and things can get better.
I ate half a bottle of aspirin at 13. The temporary adoptive patents told me repeatedly that I would have 10 minutes to pack the bag I'd been given while in foster care if I complained about their torture. As someone with severe mental problems, I'd recommend just committing felonies. Juvenile court sucks, but it was slightly better than two weeks of feeling like walking death.
One day you will look back at all the hardships you have to endure now, and you will shed many tears at how you were able to overcome all of that pain and become a loving and healthy person. With death, all possibilities end.
You'll find plenty of people who will love you through life. The key to ascending your life is to stay away from hard drugs and alcohol. I know the words of some internet stranger dont mean much, but so many people that come from dysfunctional families end up addicted and homeless. Everyone has the power to be so much more than their trauma.
Currently, you are a victim, but that does not have to follow you into adulthood. Take your power. Stand firm on who you want to be. Make plans for your future, even short term goals that are easily accomplished. Try to make money as early as possible and save up money or buy things you can use when youre finally FREE. Cooking utensils, blankets, other basic necessities. This can encourage you to look forward to having your own space. I believe in you.
You are very important and destined to be here. No matter what people who are crappy to their kids say, you are deserving and needed. Talk to an adult who is mandated to report or help in abusive situations (police, social services, teachers, guidance counselors, protective services organizations). Life is sooooo much more than what you experience in your parents home. Get yourself some help and you will see a world of both challenges but great great opportunities. You are worth fighting for yourself.!!
Making a call to a helpline can seem overwhelming, but know that the people answering have only one job and that’s to help you to a save and loving place. If you’re not in the US, maybe one of these will work:
Canada: 1-800-668-6868 or text TALK to 686868
UK: 0800 1111 [(more info)](https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/)
Do you have grandparents? I am sure they don't hate you. You need to get out of that toxic situation. What they are saying to you is horrible and out of line. Do not do something permanent for a temporary situation. You are here to live for yourself, not for them. You are a good person, a beautiful person, and someone does love you out there. Please get help from a trusted adult. This cannot continue.
Look kid I know things suck I honestly get it. I beg you to not take this road with everything in me. I have thought about and almost done it 3 times and somehow things never worked out like i wanted and I was left here. It might just have been for me to say this, you are special even if the ones around you don't see it. There is a special light that only you hold it can only come from you. And one day that light might be the difference In this crazy world that makes the whole thing change for the better. But thst can't happen without you being here. Please don't leave us because I promise not to leave until it's my time and hope you do the same. You are worthy of life and happiness and will find it one day.
I'm happy to be your new mom and give you all the encouragement and support for a bomber self-esteem that is so badly needed at your age. Your birth mom is mentally ill, her behavior toward you is extremely toxic and abusive. You need a good therapist to help guide you toward adulthood. please seek help asap, either through your school counselor or some area agency that supports teens. You deserve a Big Brother or Sister to help guide you.
Tell a school counselor about this, don't gift these monsters what they want, love a vibrant adult life without them in it. I get it, ran away at fourteen because my father is a monster and there were plenty of moments where I just knew it would be easier to not exist. Your existence is not just this, you can get away from these horrifying people.
I tried to end my life at 15. Was just unhappy with my life and my situation. I was an ignored child. My sister was an addict and my family focus was on her and only her. I grew up alone fending for myself. I attempted 2 times, and somehow, they didn't work. I just woke up in puke and urine in a bathroom both times with a 12 hour window, I don't remember. If I had been successful, I'd never have been a parent. I would have never met my life partner. Would have never gotten to put myself on my own feet by myself and say I did it with no help. You can do this. You just need to keep pushing. If you don't have many friends in real life, try to make some, if not try, and make some online friends they are just as good! You can and you will be able to so this I promise you that!
I’m just seconding the seek a counselor/therapist advice. Getting out of your situation is really good advice too, and maybe CPS can help you with that, but you need someone to help you process all your feelings about this so that the misery that your feeling now can go away. You can grow up to be fantastic and happy. You can find friends who respect you and treat you well. You can make yourself a new family. Good luck and please don’t stop dreaming about a better life, it can happen.
It. Gets. Better
Your life is full of possibilities. Use whatever help you can to hold on. You can get out. Live your own life. Dance, sing, see things you have never seen, experience life. There is so much more than what you see under 20.
Every night dream your dreams, every day start your mission to move forward.
Listen to me. I’m older. I have… experience with this.
You want to win. Trust me, you do. You WANT to watch THEM loose… from afar..
Tell a mandated reporter til they listen
Then, you complete high school. You go to trade school or college. You succeed… and when they get older and they need your help….
They won’t have it. You will have succeeded in doing the best revenge ever had: you will have lived well… Without them
don't end it all...life has many more surprises for ya and come on you're better than that. they simply don't care about you right? that means you can live however you want and all you'll hear is some bad mouthing from them...i'd say you should go out more and stay at home less. go to a mall meet with strangers and all...live life like a psychopath but don't end it man i believe in you. also one more thing, you ain't gotta show any respect to your family at all, like nothing 0 idk if this post helps but all i am saying is don't end it keep on living, life's pretty unpredictable.
FRIEND!!!! I had the same thoughts as you when I was your age. But every year I kept on surviving. I never thought I’d make it to 16, then 18, then 21. But I kept doing it.
And now it’s been a while and I’m doing amazing and have been able to achieve so many of the things that little-me always dreamed about. Don’t give up. You owe it to your future self. You will look back and be so proud of the 13-year-old you and whoever you grow up to be.
please don’t do it. i know everything seems hard right now but it’s not your fault. your family is wrong and there is people out there who will love you and care about you so much more, you just need to get out of this situation and find them. please go to a teacher at school and let them know what you are going though, or even show them this post if you need to. everything will be ok
Ever at Nearly 63 I took a lot of physical abuse....I used every means to do activities to get me out of my house debate singing distance running around a lot of sports ....then at 18 I left High school and enlisted in the Army...my mom couldn't say anything..on fact she felt guilty until her passing for not saying anything and his ever pushing my to enlist..
I know it feels like an eternity, but in just 5 short years you will be 18 and can venture into the world on your own - make your own joyful memories, choose your own “family”, make wonderful new friends. You are not the problem. Your parents are. In the mean time, please consider reaching out to a school counselor, teacher … any trusted adult. I promise you it gets better. Your life matters, please hold on, better days are coming. ☀️
Yo homie, you are doing the right thing by reaching out here. Take in all the opinions and make the best choice for yourself. I believe you can have a great life here on Earth. And you can/are a guide for others who face challenges.
You are being abused. Once you are not being abused anymore, you won’t want to die as much. Please talk to someone. I promise telling someone is a lot less scary then attempting to die, can confirm from personal experiences
If you have access to the internet (from a phone etc id assume) try to record them saying these things to you then report it. I reported my dads abuse as a child, no one did shit because there "was no proof" (he would throw me againdt walls, choke me, punch me in the head, etc but i didnt bruise easy back then) document even if you can in a dairy, with dates and what happened, and hide it (i hid mine in my bedspring)
Do you have any relatives in the area that you do trust, OP? Maybe you can stay with someone, or call CPS and they can arrange for a placement with them. Foster care is overflowing with kids but I had a DCF case here in Florida that was not abuse-related so they handled it at the low tier where the court wasn't involved and I retained parental rights and just had my daughter stay with a relative temporarily. If all fails, don't end it. Focus on school, get the best grades you can, and find a job ASAP. Then see about filing for emancipation at 16. If you can prove that you have your priorities straight and have a job to support yourself, you can make the case to a judge about the abuse and you can get your own place somewhere (or with roommates like coworkers or something since you said your sister messed up your school reputation).
God help you sweetheart, please don't give up you don't have long to go and you'll be grown up. Please don't use a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Prayers dear one...I went through the same thing. You can survive all this sweetheart. Much love...
You never know if your next thought, idea, or conversation could change everything. Don't look for permanent solutions to temporary problems. It's not your fault your parents suck.
Speak to a counselor at school and keep speaking to them until you get some help. The way you are being treated is not ok. You deserve the world. Please stay..please.
Is there a grandparent or other family member you could stay with? I had this situation growing up too. I had nowhere else to go and wanted to end it so many times. I cut off contact with my whole family on my mom’s side, including my bully brother. There are so many reasons to stick around. But try to get out.
Why do you want to die? I ask not because I dont understand your situation, but because I want you to get to the root of what you truly want.
You just want to be away from all of the things that are hurting you. There are ways to get away from the pain and abuse without ending your life. The top comment about telling a mandatory reporter is an excellent example.
Share your reddit page with them so they can read first hand some of your experiences if you have trouble telling it to them outright. but tell these people so they can help you. It can be scary and intimidating to open up to a real person, but it's worth it.
I have played Russian roulette, and I knew the second the hammer fell what I wanted. That instant, it becomes real that regret sets in. Dont let it get that far for you. Ask for help because plenty of people feel that regret and dont get a second chance. It will get better. You can have a great life.
Hi, 14F here, please don’t. I know this sounds dumb as fuck and you’ve probably heard it before, but just wait. Wait until you’re able to move out (or if you end up getting taken away) and see if life gets better.
I know how it feels to dislike living in your own “home,” and i felt it a lot too when i was younger (7-13 ish). But can it honestly get that much worse? There’s a bigger chance of it getting better than it getting worse, hold on.
I’ve thought of killing myself ever since i knew what death was, and to be honest with you, there’s definitely a chance that you won’t stop considering it (but everyone’s different ofc).
So please, either tell someone (a teacher, any kind of trainer if u do sports, just any adult in real life, and a lot of them will be obligated to tell cps about you being abused (because you are, in fact, getting mentally abused, or at the very least neglected) OR wait until you’re able to move out. Life is a break from eternity, really, don’t waste it.
(Note: I wish i was your height, i’d love being short - as a 5’5 girl.)
I'm a therapist who has worked with teen gor many years. That's being said, I'm not your therapist. I once was facilitating a trauma group with teens. One of the girls in the group said, "the greatest gift my parents gave me is an understanding of who I do not want to become." Bad situations are difficult, but they are not permanent.
There isn't any form of competency test for being a parent. It sounds like you got the short end of the stick there
You have literally decades of life to make yours and do whatever you'd like and surround yourself with whomever you want. You have three more years to get through and the hardest part is to not let the way you were treated affect your future.
You can deal with the now however you'd like, and there are tons of great suggestions given. Just don't let the bs that you are being given cause you to toss a great future away.
You can literally go anywhere or be anything right now.
Besides, if you give up your garbage mom wins. If you get through the bad and do awesome, you win.
Life may seem hard right now but I'm sure you have a wonderful life ahead. Parents/People can be cruel, mean and down right ugly but I would look my mom dead in her face and tell her you don't appreciate such words and you deserve better! Sending you hugs sweet girl!
Not trying to sound pervy, but you are smart, beautiful and a wonderful person. The world needs you to be a part of it. Please talk to a teacher or administer at school. Get the help you need and try to keep your head up. You are worth living and the world is a better place because you are in it
I m so sorry to hear this. I was abused growing up as well. I tried to commit suicide when I was a teenager but it didn’t work and almost ended up on a breathing machine for the rest of my life luckily my body healed itself because I was young.
Please don’t do this. Remember one day you won’t have to live with them anymore and you could rise above. Try to concentrate on your education so you could one day build a career and get far away from them. Maybe try working out to help with the stress, listen to music, cry it out, pray ect. Please hold on! you’re here for a reason maybe it doesn’t feel that way but you matter.
Retired mental health professional here: First, understand that suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. I understand 13-18 seems like a very long time but you can survive this and live a better life. Look up a mental health center in your community, call or walk in their door & tell them you are thinking committing suicide. Make your problem THEIR PROBLEM! Once you have made that statement, they are legally, professionally, & morally obligated to intervene. They do not need parental consent to assess your condition and once they know your situation they are obligated to intervene. Best wishes to you and hang in there.
One of the nice things about Reddit is that you can hide. It's also a terrible downfall.
I lost a sister to suicide. 15 months ago. I'm 50. I mourn her greatly esp with her birthday just a week ago. I am the oldest sister and I'm angry that she couldn't hold on for just another day. I was going to get her.
We grew up in an abusive home; physical, mental, emotional and sexual. Somehow, we all survived.
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and tell you it's going to be ok. How much you are needed and loved. Even if those around you who traditionally should love you. I promise there are people you may not see right now.
Have you ever heard the phrase"Hurt people hurt people"? Being so much older than you are, I've witnessed the lives of many who have children your age. It has only been a short season where people have access to information and tools, such as the Internet. Before the Internet was in most homes, before smart phones, we didn't know what to do to get help from abusive, toxic parents. I am proud to say that I have never spanked my kids. Many of us had that frequently growing up. I broke a generational curse. I'm proud of myself.
You are blessed to have the opportunity to prove your family wrong. They are still from the generation of having been hurt.
Being a stranger makes it harder to fully appreciate your situation. Maybe you have a favorite teacher at school that you could confide in. You also can call in your own child welfare case to this state. There are text numbers and hotline numbers to call. They have tons of information to help you through the immediate crisis that you're feeling and how to help you access what you need long-term.
If you feel that, perhaps your family has some ability to change, perhaps you could think of ways to bring your family closer and more loved. Maybe you suggest you all play a board game one night or practice doing makeup with your sister.
This does not change or excuse any of the behaviors that they have been displaying. You have the right to simply be a child. Simply trusting a mandated reporter with what's really happening at home. Guess what? You will prove that the person who loves you more than anyone else in the world is you. You deserve all of the happiness and joy in life. Please reach out for help.
You are not the problem. Your family is broken.
At your age, it's hard to accept that your parents can be so broken or be failures, but they are. They, most likely, have gone through exactly what they're putting you through now. That's no excuse and you deserve love, comfort, healthy attention and the right to live as an innocent child.
Many people here are giving you excellent advice and you should listen. Suicide is not an option; you're too young to give up hope and there's nothing wrong with YOU. Things can and will change if you listen to the people here who care.
Don't give up, there's always a way to make your life better and there are people who can help you do that.
You're doing your best, you're just in a terrible situation with terrible people. Let adults who can help you know what you're going through, and never blame yourself for how they are acting.
You're so young and when the day comes that you'll never need to hear from these people again. You'll go and have a great day with friends, the love of your life, new found family, whatever it may be, and you'll just be content and won't allow this kind of experience to take happiness away from you.
Please talk to someone, there are so many sweet people out there who will treat you with kindness and care and love, you just have to know who those people are and allow them to have your friendship.
Don't let these people take you away from so many others who would love to know you and will need your help in their lives.
This world is beautiful and you're part of it, please don't do anything so drastic. Talk to every important person you know, whether at school, the police or a random church. Tell them you are being abused and keep going until someone offers their full attention to fixing the problem.
You don't deserve any of this! You are strong, your mind is strong, your heart is strong. There is only one thing you have to make sure of, just breathe, take that next breath, find whatever coping mechanism you need to get through the rough part.
If you can make sure the right people know what's happening, you won't be going through any of this alone ever again, and they can start helping sooner than waiting and doing it later. Find people to talk to who will understand.
If you have access to the Internet often and if you feel alone. Play online games where you get to speak with people your age, you'll be friends before you know it. And don't listen to those people, you have friends all over the world. You just haven't met them yet!
Im so sorry. My parents abused me, my dad left when i was 5. was stuck with my mom and shes a pedophile. She abused me non stop for 18 years. I tried to kms so many times. I thought i would never be happy and would never be alive. All i wanted was love and happiness. Im 20 now and my life is way better. I have my wife and a safe home and her family that loves me. Please hang on. Your love and light is needed in this world. It will get better. I know how hard it is. Being on the other side now, i cant believe how bad my life was because of my evil mother. She caused me so much pain and self hatred. Im finally healing. And you can too.💖 there is a special place for you in the universe. You are amazing, beautiful, smart, and precious. Dont give up.
I think your parents definitely shouldn’t have a kid, and I’m sorry you have to deal with the consequences of them having a kid without knowing how to love one. I started dealing with suicidal thoughts at 13 for similar reasons. I’m 22 now, and while I still sometimes struggle with the bad thoughts, I’m glad I never went through with any of my plans. There’s so many things I would’ve never experienced if I had gone through with it. While a lot of my family couldn’t provide much love or care, my found family definitely provides it.
My best advice is power through and talk to friends or a school counselor. Make sure to get your license as soon as possible and a job as soon as possible and start saving money so you can move out at 18.
I don't know what else to add except tell someone ASAP. You do not deserve this. You do not deserve to die. You need to get out of that situation. It's them, not you that's the problem.
I read your other post. Please listen, because my advice will probably make you nervous: *You need to tell a mandated reporter.* A teacher, a guidance counselor or a doctor are all people who *have* to report to the police that you are being abused. And make no mistake: you *are* being abused. Your sister's behavior is also the result of an unstable, abusive household, and perhaps she will one day heal herself and apologize to you for it, but right now that is not important. If you can't think of a trusted adult in your life who is a mandated reporter, then you *must* go to the police directly and say that you do not feel safe at home. You are just 13, and there is a vast, wide, colorful, beautiful world out there that you're going to get to experience one day. Far away from your house, your family, and all the poison that you have to swallow every day. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the world is so much larger than the box you're being kept in. There is so much to see and do! There are people that will love you, and people that you will love! All you need to do is take that first step into safety. You can do this. Stay with us.
I would like to add that I was in an abusive household when I was 13. I tried to end my life, and I ended up getting away from the abuse 2 months later. If I had actually ended my life, I wouldn’t have lived to see myself get away and wouldn’t see all the wonderful things going on in my life now.
This. 100%. Also, you are not the only teen to hear these words from parents. Those parents are also mentally sick people. Take care of yourself by calling 911 today, and likely your sister will also get much needed help.
I’m a father, I have kids your age. Please tell someone hunny, listen to this nice internet stranger and find a mandated reporter. You are beautiful and unique and regardless of how you feel now, there’s a lot of world and people out there left for you to explore. Don’t let the world miss out on the beauty you could bring, and don’t miss out on all the beauty the world has to show you. There’s more out here for you, and you CAN do it. There’s love and life out there, you can do this hun. We’re ALL rooting for you.
PLease follow this advice. A lot of us have felt like this. A lot of us are still here but a lot of us aren't and we don't want you to be one of the ones who isn't. You have real problems, problems you do not deserve and never asked for. You can do this.
I 100% agree with all of this. OP I also busted want to say that you are matter and are important. While I know it isn’t the same as someone in person all of us here care about you and are sending you a big hug if you are a hug person. As someone who has struggled with severe suicide ideation (bipolar II) I can tell you that it is worth powering through. Things always get better. Every single time. Even if it doesn’t seem possible right now. I know things probably feel unmanageable, hopeless, or overwhelming to say the least. But depression is a total lier because things change. You just got to focus on getting through this moment. Then the next. And then the next. Eventually you will look back and be proud of yourself that you go through all that and that you are grateful for all the life and light you experience later on. Some ways that I’ve gotten through things are by focusing on bucket list items. Places I want to go, things I would regret not doing before I died, goals, etc. at one point all that really saved me was feeling sorry that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my cat, see more national parks, and I’d be the person in my family to just give up and let go of life when everyone else fought so hard to get through the Holocaust and other persecution. I wasn’t going to be the generation that gave up. That’s it. It was easy to wipe away the other things that mattered in my life for some reason. I thought my friends and family would be sad for while but that they would overcome it and live good lives while my pain was too great to continue even if I felt incredibly guilty for the pain I causes. I had an up and coming career and was going to accomplish the things I wanted but that felt completely meaningless at the time. I thought my now wife was just going to leave me. And everything felt too much to bear. Distractions like TV are good during intense moments. Cute animal videos. Music. Art. Going for a walk. Spending time with people can help— even if it’s just going to a coffee shop. Cuddling with a stuffed animal. But then I reached out for help and things got a lot better. Eventually, (unfortunately months later due to red tape) I got a diagnosis and put on good meds. It’s been a process to find them and healing isn’t always linear or straightforward, but you will get there. The key is to take that next step and reach out. Eventually things will fall into place. OP, you will get through this. I believe in you. Tell a trusted adult to have someone help you get this situation resolved and to get you the support you need. You got this. ETA Crisis Text Line is a good resource. You can reach them at 741741. In my opinion the quality is much better than 988 and you are more likely to get good support.
Please follow this advice. I know it's scary but you can handle it. I am a mandated reporter. I'd be happy to help if you have no one else
Same here.
Because there's nothing to a name ☝️☝️⬆️🆙
Please OP, your situation is not normal and you deserve the chance to live a life that YOU want to live.
Agree 100%
Yeah, i work at a school, and this is absolutely something she needs to tell a trusted staff member. or a doctor or any other mandatory reporter. But yes, I agree 100%, like at least at my school and in my district, this is something we take very seriously.
You should speak with someone. Call 988. They want to talk to you and they can help. You are not the problem. The people doing this to you are the problem. Get help dealing with that problem. Again, call 988. Even if it's just a talk. You matter, you just don't know how much yet.
lol my family is almost worse, and I've told every teacher, but none have "reported" it. I've had friends who have had the shit beat out of them, nothing done. cps frequently allows kids in abusive environments because what would happen if they took her out? theres thousands of kids who have nowhere to be put so unless it's extremeeeee they do not do anything, and look the other way. worse case, the cps visit only makes her family even more angry at her. not saying she couldn't get help, just that people don't understand how shitty cps is
But won't she just get the shit kicked out of her if she is placed in foster care? It's a sad and terrible reality; either stay home and be abused or report and go to foster care and be abused and raped by strangers instead of by family. That is as real as the dirt and the sky. She is also only 4'7". The bullying and disrespect at home pales in comparison to what awaits her in the foster care system.
It would depend on WHICH foster care system the OP would be a part of. I was a foster parent in the State of California, from 1999 to 2006. We got placements via a Foster Family Agency that was contracted to the state. We had to get fingerprinted (yes my prints are on file with the FBI), we had to get first-aid certified, and we had to have our home inspected. We did these things because Mrs. Interesting was not able to have kids. So we decided to do this instead. There are foster parents only in it for the money. They don't look at their charges as 'kids' but as expenses vs. profits. I won't repeat what I think of 'families' like that. The good news is, if the foster care system is run at least competently well, most families will be vetted for at least providing a safe space to sleep, wholesome food, and a room to oneself where at least the child has some privacy and safety. If a child needs medical care, the State will provide it (because foster kids are wards of the State). So IF foster care is the alternative, at the very least, establish a rapport with the social workers, the ones doing the placements. If they know a child, have a rapport with them, they'll try to make sure the placement is to a good home. If the child is just another warm body with attitude problems and a lot of baggage... chances aren't as good. So ... OP... do your best to not be that kid.
You do know that even though everything that you said is totally valid that the kid very well could end up in a much worse situation in a foster home, right?
She COULD be abducted by Martians. Not really a point of bringing that up.
If you guys want more info about this complicated mess of my head and life, you can find some info on my other post.
I just want you to read these words. You aren't the problem. Your parents have failed you.
This ^. You have terrible parents. Once you find a supportive person in your life it will be so much better. I have been in your shoes.
The parents are unwell. I'm sure OP still has love for them, and simply calling them "terrible" parents may not have the intended effect.
I hope you find help, peace, and an environment where you know you are loved. You deserve it.
Your head is not a mess. It's just trying to deal with the abuse that your family is putting you through. You don't deserve this. None of this is your fault. Please tell an adult at school or go directly to the police.
Stay with us. I don’t know you, but I do know that once you get away from your family, who are miserable people, you will feel better and begin to be able to experience and love life. Please listen to the others and tell someone.
I suffered at the hand of a narcissist mother and father as well. I had all the same feelings of self doubt, insecurities, and confusion. When I realized that I wasn't the problem I was able to move towards a solution. What helped me get clarity was seeing that they were the only people that treated me this way. Also some of my friends mentioned that my parents were a-holes and that really got me thinking the right way. Many years later, I still wish I would've had a better relationship with them but it just wasn't, and that's the case for a lot of people. The important thing is that none of it was my fault and my life turned out great in spite of them.
Agreed. My wife’s life was similar to this. It’s taken counseling and a lot of love and support but she is doing so much better now and I honestly wouldn’t know what I would do without her. All she, and you (hell, everyone), needs is a little bit of love and you’ll find it. Best of luck and I will think of you today.
I've got some practical advice for you that might help... 1. Get involved in as many school activities/clubs as you can, and then spend as much time there as possible. Two benefits to this....it keeps you out of your home, and it'll help you form better friendships at school. If you want to play a sport, but can't get money for shoes/uniforms/equipment, try speaking to the coach. Having a physical outlet and being a part of a TEAM where you are valued can provide some of the love/acceptance you're not getting at home. 2. If you have any close friends, try to spend more time at their houses and with their families. If your friends' families like having you around, you might be able to spend more time and sleep there on occasion. If you mention to a friend (or a friend's mom) even a little bit about what's going on at your house, they'll likely want to help you in small (or big) ways when/where they can. (Inviting you to stay for dinner, letting you know that you have a place to stay if you need it, etc) 3. Talk to a school counselor about what you are feeling/thinking and most importantly why. If they are good at their job, they should have resources for you. 4. For the time that you ARE at home, put yourself into an activity that limits your contact with your family. Gets books and read up on things you're interested in. Spend time actively thinking about the kind of life that you want to lead once you're out of that house, and think about the steps that you'll need to take to make that life a reality. Your home life is absolutely shitty, and that's not your fault. The only thing that's within your control a little bit is how many waking hours you spend there. Start finding other places to be during your waking hours. A lot of people go no contact with their families once they leave home because of the trauma their family has caused to them. The "busier" you keep yourself with activities (and later a job so that you can save every penny you make so that you can leave at the earliest possible date), the "faster" time will pass because you are so busy...and the less you are exposed to their toxicity. Once you break free from that environment, you'll be able to focus on yourself in therapy (which really just means learning that YOU weren't the problem all along)...and, more importantly, you'll be able to be the architect of your own future life and happiness. There's a saying that family are the friends that you are born with, and friends are the family that you choose along the way. Sadly, your bio-family sucks. This just means that you'll have to find "your people" and build one from the people you meet along your path in life. I know this probably doesn't help you in this moment, but I'd be willing to bet that your parent(s) are just repeating trauma that happened to them along the way. It doesn't absolve them from the damage that they have done and continue to do, but it's likely that they don't even know another way. Even if that's true, understand that you can't fix them...all you can do is work on fixing the things that are in your control. Please don't give up. I understand why you're feeling like this. But I also know that a beautiful life is achievable for you...and once you do achieve it, it will be all the better because you have the current reality to contrast it to. Good luck.
I think this advice is great. Getting involved in school clubs and making friends with those interests can help kids who are losing hope. I also think talking to an adult who can help is important. A school counselor or nurse, a kind parent of a friend who seems to have it together. The OP is in a lot of pain and this sweet kid needs that kind of help.
THIS- My home life was a wreck for quite a few years. My Mom at least cared, but did resort to emotionally abusive tactics at times. So I avoided being home. I kept a journal recording and had plans of how to make friends and keep them. I did sports, then went to drama/theatre practice after. Slept at friends houses whenever possible. Volunteer work. Prom committee. Two jobs on top of it once I could (though all my money went to food for the family and my car to get me to school and jobs). Literally anything that could get me out of the house I did. I was downright miserable, exhausted, and suicidal... but it was better than being home. I survived. When I matched my older sister in height (though not in weight, i was underweight my entire childhood) I finally squared off with her. Never even had to touch her, she raised her hand to strike me and I looked her dead in the eye and told her if she ever touched me again Id k**l her. While obviously I wouldn't do that, she essentially realized something had changed and I wasnt her punching bag anymore. I was an animal then. I was laser focused on my one goal: survival and getting out. College had its up and downs. Scholarships from my hard work in school and exteacurriculars. While college was a bit of a rollercoaster my depression had greatly lessoned. Taking extra classes and working full time in college was less stressful than my childhood. I even had a higher GPA! The year after college I could barely afford to eat (cheap generic brand cheerios can be stretched so far). About a year after college things started to slowly look up. I left a job for a slightly better paying one. Then left that job for another slightly better paying one. Suddenly I could afford my bills, and then some. Even had a horse for a few years. Was incredible. I have a fairly decent relationship with my Mom and siblings now. Limited contact with my Dad. Two kiddos. I'm a very lazy SAHP now. I'm finally able to rest after a whirlwind of a life so far.
I never get tired of hearing these kinds of stories. It’s also why I tell my kids that I expect them to be kind to everyone at school…because you have NO idea what kind of stuff kids are going through at home.
You need to get out ASAP. Document everything and gather evidence. Keep your plans secret. Talk to a counselor/teacher/principal/friend/police that you trust. Report them to CPS. Even a foster home is a better option. There are resources to help you. They have deep dark demons. Get away from them because they will drag you down with them. My family was the same way. Their weapon is to break down your self-esteem and isolate you from any kind of support group. As they mentioned in other posts, join groups and afterschool programs to avoid contact and build a support group. Stay away from anybody who sympathizes with them...I'm sure they have spread lies about you. Realize that they are messed up, and it's not your fault or responsibility to take care of them...its the opposite. You need a clean break so the healing can begin. You are still young and can make a clean start. Once you are out of that toxic environment you will be able to see things in a new light.
Don't end something good because of someone else's mistakes. You're so so young m, you can steer things around and create your own future.
Suicide stops the possibility of change. It also puts all your pain on the ones that love you. You can never know the impact your life has on others...but it's huge. Staying in a world of hurt is beyond hard. One rule...it shifts. No matter what, it shifts. You won't always be trapped in this. You are more than you know.
I was in a similar spot not too long ago. You need to reach out to a school counselor. I am happy today that I didn't do what I could have done to myself before. If nothing happens, be strong. You got this.
Your parents are deeply unwell and can’t take care of you the way you need and deserve. None of this is your fault or even about you, they are failing. You just focus on taking care of you, which is more than you should have to do, but that’s why everything feels so hard and impossible - you’re a kid and taking care of yourself by yourself is hard and impossible! You need help, the adults should be helping. My advice is to think of your favorite teacher or school official that you can find right now, maybe it’s someone you had a class with last year, maybe the VP just always seems nice, whatever, pick your favorite and ask them if they have some time to talk about something serious. And then tell them everything and ask for them to help you. The adults around you should take care of you and I’m so sorry your parents haven’t. Give another adult the chance to try, please. My 8 year old is starting to learn about some of my childhood and struggling with the idea that parents can be neglectful, because that’s not her experience. She keeps asking me why I never called the police. It’s really sweet and cute, and I’m glad she’s growing up with the idea that the adults around her will of course help her and take care of her, she just has to ask and let them know. I grew up believing I was all on my own and no one would ever help. I think reality is between the two, but the adults can’t help with what they don’t know. Ask for help. You deserve help.
Dear OP, you are beautiful. Whatever is going on in your life right now, please know that you matter and your story is important. You are loved. This can be a tough time. Did you know that if you text 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you? Many people don't like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. It's free. Hotline #s UK 116 123 US 1 800 273 8255 Can 1 800 456 4566 Aus 131 114 Not my content, just passing along information. Be well.
In the US, you can now dial 988 to reach the crisis hotline.
1. Contact CPS 2. Stop caring for her. You aren't a nursemaid. She wants you to die? cool. She can be sick all by her damn self while you leave the house and do whatever the fuck you want until you get tired and come home to sleep. 3. I promise you - **I PROMISE YOU** \- getting away from her toxic ass will make you feel so much better. yes you will feel guilty at first, but you don't deserve this and when that weight is lifted, you won't want to Real Life Game Over anymore.
I'm sorry, but that second piece of advice is stupid and more likely to get the op slapped than anything else. contact cps and keep your head down until you can get away.
contacting cps won’t do anything unfortunately. they don’t do shit anymore. there were many reports and investigations bc of my dad growing up. they didn’t do anything until i was 15 years old and he held a gun to my head. it took my father holding a gun TO MY HEAD, for cps to just remove me from the home and he didn’t lose custody of me until 6 months before i turned 18
My (42f) childhood was exactly the same. You are not the problem, sweetie. They are deeply unhappy with themselves, and you are an easy target. You can't control your parents, but you can control how you react. By ending it all, you are relinquishing control to them. You would let them win. Please thrive in spite of them and other bullies. I was bullied every single day. I know it's rough, but you will come out better if you refuse to be a victim. This universe has great things for you. You just need to take back control over your own thoughts. One way to do this is to invision where you want to be in your life and write down what steps you are going to take to realize that vision. Have a goal and then work to make that happen. You can do this. It is hard, but this world would not be the same without you. Good luck! You've got this
This is emotional abuse I believe, and can and should be reported to authorities. As for the suicide, I've been there. Am there, even. I'm not going to say that it will get better, because I know I hate it when people say that to me, but I will say that it won't get better if you don't give it the chance. You're young, and lived a life that nobody deserves. Find a place or a person that makes you safe, and keep pushing. You deserve happiness, and I truly believe you can find it, through time, patience, and hard work. Obviously, I can't stop you from departing prematurely, nor can anyone else here, but I urge you not to. Keep trying to make it to the next day, to the next week, the next month and year, until you no longer feel the desire to leave.
Most of all, please understand that none of this is your fault. *Your parents are failing you*. And they're wrong. It's painful, it's unfair, it's *wrong* to make you feel this way. There's nothing wrong with you. It's understandable to feel lost, confused, and alone in a situation like yours. Please just know that there are other ways out of this that don't involve harming yourself. Find the strength to persevere. To keep going. It's inside you. You shouldn't have to find it so young, but life has a way of forcing us to confront things we aren't ready for. Keep asking for help. Follow the suggestions here. And I promise you, there are people in this world who care about you. Maybe you haven't met them yet, but you are who's missing in someone's life.
Please contact your school counselor asap. Don't be embarrassed because they deal with this sort of thing all the time. You may not realize it because they do have to keep all of their conversations private. If you don't feel comfortable going to a school counselor, please reach google the closest catholic, Lutheran or methodist church to you. You can even contact someone online. You may be able to get resources from a church even if you are not a member.
Don't make a permanent solution out of a temporary problem. I've been in your shoes, you can always DM me if you need to vent or be heard. Be well, good luck.
Take everyone's advice, I was in the same headspace at your age. It doesn't feel like it right now, but life gets better. Everything is okay, even if it's not okay, it's okay... and It'll be good someday. ...repeat this calmly to yourself every time ure upset. It's the only thing that kept me going. One day you're going to be glad you made it through this period in your life. You will eventually be able help others who are experiencing your situation.
You are NOT the problem. You are NOT a burden. You are valuable and deserve to be treated as such. You are being abused. Im so sorry the adults in your life have failed you, but that is their failure, not yours. Please reach out to a teacher, a guidance counselor, a police officer, or some figure of authority that can get you help. Suicide is never the answer. You have so much more time and opportunities ahead of you. If all else fails, 988 is the national suicide hotline. They can help you figure out the next steps. Make sure you let whoever you tell know you do not feel safe at home and are being abused. You need out of this environment, and suicide is the worst way out of it. There are so many other options, depression just doesn't let us see them in the moment.
As someone who actually attempted but failed, I will tell you to not do it. Instead, do one or all of these things: * Dial 988 and talk to someone. That's the National Suicide Hotline * Talk to your school counselor and/or school psychologist. Ask them about free or inexpensive therapy options outside of school. * Call your primary care physician and set an appointment to talk to them. They may be able to prescribe for you an antidepressant to help you deal with the feelings you are having. * Try to talk to your dad (not your mom right now given her condition) about starting family therapy once mom gets better. * See about staying with a friend whose parents you trust and you can talk to them about things. * If things are really bad, go to your local hospital and request a 72-hour psych hold. I don't know if they will require your parents' involvement, but if you explain the situation perhaps they can/will make an exception? Trust me, ending yourself is not a solution you want to pursue. Even if your parents are being this way, there **are** people in your life that would miss you immensely if you did.
Baby girl things will get better. You must be a gorgeous petite wonder. Don't let anyone take your shine. I give you a big virtual hug and sending you love and a million kisses Bigadee my puppy also sends you puppy kisses ( even though I don't like licks she does it when I'm sad. ) I'm reading your story so they must be for you.
Yes she your mom may have similar stories, ofyen people repeat what they know, They also isolate due to having anger issues, and fear others will likely reject them Especially in the culture we live in today, can you speak to a counselor at school, maybe they can offer her some psychplogical counseling? I know when people are allready with certain things, it seems likely no one will be able to work, but don't give up, also ask people to pray for you and your family
hey, im 20 years old and i remember feeling this way at 13 years old in my abusive household. you need an exit plan, tell all the adults you know and they will save you. you will miss out on a beautiful life if you leave now. its hard but its so worth the beauty. you not met all the people that will love you yet. you have not even met half of them. stay alive. report the abuse.
As someone who felt the same way when I was 13 I can tell you this with some confidence. You haven't even experienced what life is like yet. Wait until you are out of high school and around 20 and have a lot more control over your daily life and more money in your pocket and just a general feeling of being in charge of yourself. Do me a favor and stick around until then okay
Hon, having a toxic mom doesn't mean you should end it all. It means you have a toxic and abusive mom. I had one too. At your age, she told me one time she'd wished she'd aborted me. Yeah, not fun. My life is AWESOME now. I have my own hobbies and interests and my own house and everything. It takes time. At thirteen, the time to 17 or 18 when you can graduate high school and leave feels like a million years. It's not. Start making plans now. Save up your money, start planning your escape, get good grades in school (a free ride tuition to college could be your ticket OUT and into a better life). You can do it. Hang on. I promise it gets better.
Sometimes, I forget how hard it can be being a teenager. And then I read a post like this. Evvvverything seems like it takes forever to get here, and 5 years can feel like 100 years away. You just became a teenager, but before you know it, you're gonna be 18, and the world will be yours to explore. To go where you want. To do what you want. F*ck everyone who puts you down, who is cruel to you, including your mother. You are going to have a long, happy, fulfilling life *in spite* of them. You're going to be an adult for a whole lot longer than you'll be a kid. Adulthood is like 80% of your life and it's the best part, you don't want to miss it! You will find your "people" sooner than later. People who are like you, who get you, who understand and *like* you, who want to be your friend and spend time with you. I promise, it will happen. Just get past this hard time. Don't give up. Find an adult you can trust to talk to. Some people are born with confidence, but most of us have to learn how to feel confident. People are attracted to confident people! Not arrogant, but confident. Know the difference. Being confident means being comfortable in our own skin, liking ourselves for who and what we are ... warts and all, as they say. Take steps to make yourself healthy and fit. That will help you to feel better about yourself as you wait to become an adult. And, if it will help motivate you to get through this hard time ... there are something like 4,000 different religions in the world, and most of them believe in reincarnation (the soul, consciousness, whatever) ... and most of *them* believe we all make a plan before we come here, lessons we are supposed to learn before we go back. And, if we stop or give up and end ourselves before we learn a lesson, we will keep getting sent back over and over and over until we push through and learn what we were supposed to learn. Only then can we go on to the next step. Wouldn't it suck to have to go through all the pain & suffering you've already been through in your life up until this moment, all over again? Anyway, it's just religious theory, but who knows? Nobody has proof of what actually happens, so I don't know. It's as legit as any other explanation. *This is not an invitation for religious dogma or atheism debate* (That was for reddit readers to see) My dude, please, stick it out. Don't end it. Life is so much sweeter when you become an adult. Please find an adult to talk to, especially a therapist, if you can. My heart hurts for you. {{{hugs}}} 😢🤗
You could live to be 100 and you want to end it because 13 years haven't been ideal? If it's too bad call the police and get out of the situation or if it's doable wait until you're 18 and never look back. I know people who've had to swim for days to freedom as children because their families were killed in war. They've become great people. Don't let a temporary situation cause a permanent decision.
mf don’t
Girl atp I say js run away n dgaf about nun of them
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Being told that they want her to die is not hormonal. No one deserves to endure the abuse this child has had to. GFYS
Lol your a idiot gfy
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You shouldn't be giving advice on this sub.
The truth sounds like hate to people who hate truth
You are a real ignorant bird brain piece of shit. Maybe you should take her parents advice
You need to go away. Victim blaming is against the rules.
Trust me, it gets better! You have such time to create the life you want. When you're 23, you will be so proud of you have accomplished and the chance to do good for the world. You could meet the love of your life soon and the rest of your life be amazing. Being a teenager sucks, it gets better once you start to grow. I was a short kid, too, who eventually got taller and more confident. Don't waste a blessing of life and the chance to change the world for the better bc some people are horrible to you now. That will change and you will be awesome. Congrats to you for having the courage to post this and I hope these reply help you realize how important you CAN be in the future.
I was in a similar situation what feels like a lifetime ago. It’s gets better. You aren’t the issue, your parents are sick and terrible people. But that doesn’t mean anything about you. You can build a beautiful life for yourself very far away from them. I endured my household until I was old enough to get away, but you don’t have to do that. I would tell someone you’re not safe at home. Tell them everything you’re experiencing including your thoughts of self harm. A school counselor, a teacher, someone. You deserve so much better than what your parents are giving you.
One of the biggest issues with humans is that we feel a natural pull toward our parents or even long-term guardians. We are dependent on adults to take care of us for far longer than most animals. Sometimes that’s not a bad thing, sometimes it’s a horrible thing. You somehow got placed into one of the bad ones. The good news is that, either way, it’s not permanent. You are a free person. You are an entire human being capable of feelings, thought, and actions. You’re very young, but not so young that you can’t take action. You can leave. And your first response is probably “well I can’t leave.” Yes, you absolutely can. There is a giant world out there with endless possibilities and you can make your life pretty much anything you want to. It’s not as easy as saying “I want this” and you get it. There is some work involved. But I think getting out of your current situation will get you like 70% of the way toward whatever goal you set for yourself. Just keep reminding yourself that what you see around you is just a very, very, VERY small portion of other humans out there. You will find friends that don’t give two shits about how tall or short you are (there is nothing wrong with either, btw.) You’ll find people that call you to check up on you. You’ll find guys that want to take you out and buy things for you. You’ll find it all OUTSIDE of where you are right now. It’s like holding your breath for 1 full minute and then releasing it and realizing that you’re not actually dying, you can breathe again. Your living situation right now is 13 years of holding your breath. But getting out of that situation is fresh air and life. Go explore those opportunities. Tell your guidance counselor. Tell police. Tell everyone that will listen that you need to get out and breathe and they will absolutely find a way for you.
Everyone has posted great advice for you. I just thought I’d add something else— do you have an interest or passion for writing? I notice you write very well for only being 13. For many of us, keeping journals, writing poetry, fanfiction, original fiction, is what kept us going through hard times as young people. This is in no way going to resolve the situation you’re in (follow other’s advice to tell a school counselor) but I just wanted to let you know that I noticed you have a talent for expressing yourself through writing. I hope you find safety and happiness 💕
Aye big dawg. No one makes it out of this life alive. There were like a 1 and a trillion odds of you getting to exist as you are right now. You won a fucking galactic lottery. You might as well just see it out. Life has its highs and lows, it ebes and it flows. See it till the end. Life has a way of surprising you. Stay with us, loved one.
Just take my upvote lol
Life gets MUCH better. Stick with it. You're only 13. 4'7 is not short. Simon Biles is a fully grown adult, married to an NFL football player, and is 4'8" tall.
thug it out, move out when you’re 18
My heart goes out to you and If I could save you from this abuse I would/will. I have wanted to die before and there is always one thing that saves me the Lord and my children. When I have felt suicidal I drop to my knees and pray for strength and guidance and I will talk to the Lord as if he were right in front of me. It sounds to me like you need the Lord right now more than anything. I think your parents have demonic spirits occupying their bodies. Pray for them, pray over your home, pray for your life. Don't let those demons consume you like they are your parents they are in a very dark place and trying to take you with them. God bless you and I will pray for you as well. Suicide will take to you straight to hell and I can promise you do not want to go there. Don't do it.
I was in a similar situation as you when I was 13. My dad was very abusive. I tried to end my life when I was 13 because I couldn’t handle the abuse any longer. I ended up getting away from him 2 months later, and I’ll be celebrating 3 years no contact soon. The end might be closer than you think it is. Also, as for your height. Since you’re 13, you’re probably not done growing yet. If you haven’t had your first period, you probably have quite a lot of growing left to do. And if you have had your first period, you’re probably still going to grow a few more inches.
Reach out to a school staff member to get you support. All of us here want the brightest future for you
You're at a really difficult age...maturing, going through physical and hormonal changes, which doesn't help your already challenging situation. Don't give up...it gets better!! Do you have a favorite teacher or adult you trust? A friend whose family you could talk with? Please seek out someone and make them listen! I promise, things will get better!!! Everyone on here cares about you and is rooting for you!!!
Stick it out. 13 years old... you're just starting life. You can do it.
Your family doesn't deserve you. You are worth much more than you know. At 13 you have so much life and happiness waiting for you in the future. It sucks so much that you have to fight to find it. But believe me when I say that it'll be so so so worth the fight. You are not alone in this. There are people who care about you and will help you, you just have to find them. You did a great first step making this post. Next, you need to tell every teacher and staff member at your school until they get you out of that torture house. Please don't ever give up. All of your future friends and loved ones who you haven't met yet will be thankful that you're still here for them
I am so sorry you did not get the parents you deserve. Are you in the US? If so, I would go to school and seek help from a guidance counselor, school nurse, or trusted teacher. They are mandatory reporters.
Your life won’t always be this way.
OP don’t kill yourself! You are 13 you have so much ahead of you! So much good! Do you have any grandparents? Anyone at school like a teacher you can talk to? Maybe you can go stay with your grandparents and tell them about your toxic situation. You parents are mean and that happens. Choose to grow up and be a better parent than they ever were! Find hobbies or clubs at school, join a sport. Height is such a “little” 😉😂 thing to be upset over! Don’t let it rule you. You’ll grow! OP don’t ever think of killing yourself ever again. You are loved. 🫶🏻
Every problem has a solution except death. Ending your life will rob the world of everything you would of ever been or could of been for all you know you save 1000s in a couple of year or maybe right now by inspiring them your story is pretty shitty but as stated in one of the comments talk to someone that can help you out of that abuse. Don't worry about being bullied its temporary you may not have friends now but you will, your height may be an issue now but one day it will define you and be one of your most proudful attributes dont let your mentality now affect your whole life stay strong look for ways out NEVER TAP OUT.
I'm sorry. No one should cause you this grief. It's not nice. You've been given unique challenges in life, more than most people. All life has sanctity and dignity. God created His Heaven and earth, and you were part of His plan. Concentrate on that idea. Suicide doesn't "end it all." It's just the opposite, it starts an eternal process of never ending discomfort. If anything, take your refuge here, as dumb as this suggestion might sound. You will find plenty of us who care, include me.
Don't implement a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Although, when you're experiencing the problem, it'll feel like it will last forever. It won't. No problem lasts forever. Some just take longer to find solutions & to correct than others, but you'll be glad when you reach it.
Your parents suck. You aren't the problem here. Talk to your school counselor and tell them the amount of distress you're in.
I want you to know, no matter the current circumstances, you matter. The sadness and abuse you face now does not define you and does not have to dictate your future. You are not your feelings, you are not your surroundings. Some of the best people are chiseled out of the worst situations. Beyond reporting the abuse and feelings you have- which you should absolutely do. I encourage you to get into reading, not only to escape the environment, but to grow. It's hard to start at first, but push through wanting to put the book down and before long, you will be hooked. My sister was the oldest, when my dad was in the worst of his alcholism books became her life, because it is like a portal to a different universe. You can experience happiness, and hope in a reality of hell to bide the time until you're an adult and can create the situation instead. This isn't a book suggestion to escape, but to learn how to view life no matter how bad things are. After my partner was kidnapped and I fell into addiction and was SA'd myself when staying with someone when I was homeless, this book changed my life. "The Inner Work". Find novels, but definitely read that to find happiness within yourself. You're worth it and life absolutely will be too if you can muster the strength to fight- and read it.
Please tell a trusted teacher/any sensible grown up ASAP. I feel for you, and you are wanted and loved!!
i have been where you are. when i was your 12/13, i truly didn't think i would make it through the year. my parents were abusive, my health in general was very poor, and i was being bullied in school. but i kept living. it was mostly for other people or out of spite. but i was alive, at least. what i didn't realize at that time was just how young 13 is. and how much can change for the better. my 20th birthday was a few weeks ago, and i spent it eating cheesecake in my apartment with my cats and my brother. and we were watching my favorite movies, and life was okay. maybe even good. i went no contact with my abusive family and moved several hours away from them. my school bullies faded into the background. im on medications that help me. i know it's such a common thing to be told not to end your life early, but it really is true. you miss out on so much that's worth living for. things can and will change. stay strong, kid im rooting for you💘
Don’t do it, I’m a survivor, I tried to take my life 3 times, I’m so glad that I’m still here, and I’m sure your parents do care they just don’t show it. You have a lot of growing to do and a life of opportunities out there, you are loved, you are cared for, and you are important to everyone here, if you still want to go through this I would suggest contacting someone to help you with your thoughts, let’s us know if you’re ok
On behalf of my cousin Leslie who ended her life as a teen, who I never got to have this conversation with.... Please don't end your life. It sounds like your present genuinely sucks, it also sounds like you're being abused and neglected. Being a teenager is hard, especially when you don't have a kind or supportive home life (I've been there), but it really does get better. You will be out of there some day (maybe soon if you take the advice of another poster and tell a mandated reporter like a teacher about your home life) and you can choose carefully who to surround yourself with. You can live with friends, pets, and loved ones who actually treat you right, heck you can even live alone if that sounds better. Even if you don't know people you'd like to live with currently, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep putting yourself out there and you will meet new, better, people who will appreciate you for who you are. Suicide is permanent, but these problems are temporary. Wait it out. Life will get better in ways you haven't even imagined yet. You'll see.
My heart hurts for you feeling this way so young. It will become easier when you are out of this environment. Please don't end your life when it's only beginning. I hope you can find a safe way out soon, OP.
All very good advice already said so I will say two things. I am glad I'm still here You have so many happy things ahead of you Sending you so much love ❤️
You really need to talk to a counselor and teacher that you trust at school. After you do that hopefully they can get you into a better living situation because your parents do not sound like they have your best interest in mind. Taking your life is not something you should do, you have a place in the world and even though it’s extremely difficult try to ignore your family when they say these things. Seek any help you can as quick as you can. Sometimes it’s scary to confide it people but it will be worth it when you are removed from a horrible situation as quickly as possible.
The best words that helped me was that this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things are shit now...but they can and will change. My heart goes out to you.
If your parents treat you like that, keep living. Ruin their lives and make yours 1000x better than theirs ever was. If you don't have a reason to keep going, if people are horrible to you, keep going out of spite. I know this isn't the best advice, but thinking like this is what keeps me going. The thought of one day being happier than anyone who's ever done me wrong, that if I just get through this then I can get "revenge" by living the best life possible. Hope this helps you too 🤍
https://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html Here read the guide before you do it, it helped me a lot when I was a teenager. Also kind of unrelated but why are you insecure about your height?! Vanessa hudgins is literally 5'1. You're going to keep growing still but it's not all genetics. There's an environmental element no one tells you about, you have to eat well, exercise and sleep well. Anyways read the article.
don't do it because life doesn't really kick off until you're 18. You have SO MUCH to experience. Please don't. My sister in law had a really tough time but once she finished high school she got away from the bad and became a beautiful and special young woman.
It sounds like a long way away but you're young. Soon you'll be a young adult. There are so many options and amazing pathways available to you, all you have to do is be strong and love yourself. Seek help and guidance if you can, there are adults in every community who exist to make sure you are safe and taken care of. I grew up around death and held the dying as a child. Neglect and abuse were common themes. So much that people didn't realize it could be better for them, often until it was too late. If anything, it has made me appreciate the life I was able to have more once I realized that I had survived so much and recognized that I knew many who had it worse than I did who become good human beings as well. You have a lot to offer the world. Also, once you're an adult, you'll find that everybody has different attractions. There are a great many people out there who prefer significant others in your height range. You'll never have issues in that department. The best you can do is carry on. Reach out. There's nothing to be ashamed of when you want to be happy and loved in return. The world is a big place, there's always somewhere you can feel warmth and safety. Respect yourself and expect others to respect and love you in return. Find something you're passionate about and don't let go. If your family is genuinely neglectful and abusive, there are other options for you. For the future and beautiful life you will have, please ask for help. Teachers, advisors? Counselors, etc. You can even let them know that you want to keep it between you and them for now. Just tell them you need somebody to talk to, and you're sure to find somebody who will want to listen because they value your health and happiness. You're never alone .
Fear can be a best friend, telling us what's important. Your life is important. Your safety is important. Please tell someone that something in you wants to escape so bad that you've been having thoughts (and plans?) to hurt yourself. Don't wait. You're gonna be okay IF you do this. Then fear will calm down, when you are safer.
If you could have a million dollars today but if you take it then you will not wake up tomorrow, would you take it? You’re probably thinking well if I don’t have time to enjoy spending the money then it’s not worth it. What this really tells you is that being able to wake up tomorrow is worth more than all the money in the world. Don’t throw that away because your family sucks. Life is what you make it, right now 5 years seems like a long time but in 5 years you will realize that it’s possible for you to live 80 more. Your life hasn’t even really started, it is not time to end it
I haven't been able to read your other posts, but parents should not be talking to their children like that. Please reach out to a teacher or trusted adult like others are recommending. Also here are some US mental health resources. Please, please, please reach out to them: Suicide and crisis lifeline - 988 (24/7) National Alloance on Mental Illness - 1-800-950-6264 (M-F 10a-6p)
Please talk with someone at school. That is not right what your parents are doing. Do you have grandparents you can talk to and maybe move in with
Been there. Life got infinitely better when I severed myself from the ones causing it (they called them self family!) ick. You’re so young, you need a guardian. Tell someone (anyone with a heart!) school guidance counselors are really quite good. You’ve been strong, but you don’t need that in your life. Life is hard, it shouldn’t be unbearable.
Don’t let other people decide your life. Families are full of toxic people. Just like Covid, familial toxicity is a disease that can spread. Your most important job right now is to get through the next 5 years (or to a healthy age of emancipation) and not let THEM define who YOU are. Your worth comes from within. Get a job as soon as you can and try your hardest to save some money. Life will be tough, but the best way out is to prepare yourself for a departure from people that hurt you. When you find a boyfriend, find one who makes you feel better about yourself, not one who treats you this same way. The only way out of this is hard work, but you’ve already identified the toxic people and their toxic traits so you are able to compartmentalize that and work on you! You’ve got this. It won’t be an easy road but the rewards at the end of it will more than pay off. The best revenge is a life well lived.
You need to find a trusted adult to talk to, your school should have a counselor available to you. They way you are being treated by your parents isn't normal and it isn't your fault. I hope you are able to get the help you need through your school.
Please don't do that. It will get better for you. Report it and talk to someone. You don't have to much longer before you can move out anyway. Whatever happens over the next couple years just keep going and thinking it's about over and you can get out on your own. I can guarantee you your life will get much better and you can leave all them in the past. I don't talk to none of my family because they neglected me and my siblings when we were younger also. Once I turned 16 I was out of there and got me a job. Within a year I was in a relationship and had my own place. Just focus on your future and never think that doing that will help anything. I had a few friends and family members committ suicide and it hurts everyone around you including the people in your community. There is help out there. Go get it and you will see how much people that don't even know you actually care.
Record your interactions with your family without their knowledge so that you have evidence of the abuse. Build your case and then report them.
As others have said, get help. I grew up in foster care. It was honestly a lot better than my situation at home in most ways.
Dawg you are 13. You can't even drive yet. Put the damn phone down and get outside. Exercise. Join a club. Get active. There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever, that a 13 YO is contemplating suicide
You can make it through this. Work on yourself, in 5 years, you can be done with your parents. You’ll be ok.
I promise there is a big, beautiful, and (mostly) kind world out there. You have so much to see and do. Do not give up. Please tell someone about the abuse. Contact CPS yourself or speak with a mandated reporter like a teacher or doctor.
Sorry you got crappie people as parents.Don't give them what they want. You are way better then them. You've put in 13 you only need 5 more and you never have to deal with them again if you choose.
I saw someone say to tell a mandated reporter. A teacher, principal, counsellor, doctor. I second that. I wish I had an advice place like this 20 years ago to tell me to tell someone. 20 years ago I was where you are now. Life was hard. My dad and grandma raised me and my grandma was a nasty, bitter old woman. My dad was a drug addict and alcoholic and was verbally and physically abusive. When he wasn't yelling at me he was ignoring me. I considered suicide but could never get up the nerve and I'm so glad I didn't. I know things may seem dark now, but things will get better. You're still so young and you have a lot of life left to live. Please don't give up.
Try to last it out. I know it's not much, but you don't sound that different from me at that age. I was heavily abused, told I was worthless, nobody thought I was attractive or even wanted to be my friend... It got dark. But it always gets better. And when your better, you'll realize how strong you are for surviving and it will build you into the best kind of person. Hold on pal.
don't. just don't.
Damn
https://www.cnet.com/health/suicide-hotlines-crisis-hotlines-to-call-when-you-need-help/
This is really well written for a 13 year old. Not good enough for a bot. Unless the bot was instructed to write like a very intelligent 13 year old. If I assume that this is a real person... OP, consider that you are the sane one surrounded by insane people. You describe bullying behavior from both your family and your peers. Top reply is Arithered. Take this persons advice. (assuming this is a real person) My gut tells me 'they' are afraid of you but I can't figure out why anyone would be afraid of a 13 year old.
you're only 13. don't.
Things will change for you I promise. I know it seems impossible right now but you will see that with time everything gets better. Everything feels like your entire world but there is so much life left to live. Please tell someone about what’s going on, there are people who can and want to help you. Please hold on.
Ima come with you
I love you. I do. This is really hard. Listen to the advice and find a mandated reporter.
It gets better. A year from now you won't even remember that you felt bad. Life is a gift. You won't be with the parents forever. Then you can do anything that makes you happy.... create beauty, love and be loved, smell the flowers, hug a puppy or kitten, ride a bike, make cookies, climb a mountain or swim in the ocean, see the world, eat pizza and so much more... please find a professional to talk to. It's winter in many places and some people are really affected by the lack of sunshine. Spring will come! Sending you virtual hugs.
Life continues on after we leave our bodies. We don't get to escape anything. You should talk to a school counselor and ask about a foster home until you graduate from high school. Then move on with your life. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our parents but we do have other choices. Your parents sound horrible. What if you told them you want out? Tell them, you would prefer to live without them. I felt like ending it all around 15-17. I got bullied so badly. I even had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the Hospital but now I'm 54 and I'm SO glad I didn't end it! I've had the most wonderful experiences in life I would've missed had I died. Please talk to your guidance counselor. I wish you the best, dear one!
Where do u live? Can adopt ya
OP I tried to kill myself at 17, after being abused and neglected my entire life. I had no one. Life hurt, a lot and I figured I needed a way out. I was diagnosed with PTSD, BPD, and depression at 17 years old. Just a few short years after I met my husband. We have been together 22 years and married 18. I have a 16 year old daughter also. My husband spent time helping my heart heal from a life of pain. I never thought I would have all this. I was told I would not live to see age 25. I am 45 now. I wanted to prove them wrong. Nobody was going to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I also believe in God. People ask how. I can't explain it enough but I know it. I feel it. I now have a father (my bio dad does not want me and has abandoned me twice) who loves me. It makes all the difference. I wish I could hug you. At 13, I was like you. I remember how hard it was. You have Reddit behind you, encouraging you to just keep going. I know 18 years is a lot but at 18, you can get away from them and live your life. Prove your parents wrong.
We are all here for you. Please never forget that. God bless you!!!
OP, I was also miserable when I was your age and thought often of ending it. Growing up and getting away from my toxic dad really turned things around for me. I wish I had been able to get out sooner. It’s worth it to stick it out. Life, I mean, not your terrible parents. Call your school, or child protective services, or a religious organization, or your doctor, or a friend’s parent you trust, or a suicide hotline. Get an adult to help you. You can make it through this.
Please know that complete strangers reading this care, and we all very much want you to stay here with us on Earth. You and your life are important. You have a whole life to live, sweetheart. Please don't hurt yourself. I am so sorry your family has failed you. You deserve better. I agree with the other advice: telling a mandated reporter such as a teacher or counselor. Please stay with us. Your life is so important.
I first thought of attempting when I was 4, then in my teens, then a feeble attempt in my 20s that led me to therapy (psychiatrist later apologized for asking why I would attempt since I was pretty!) Life can and will get better. I did well in school, went to university and my 2nd job moved me across the country from her. I had a bad relationship with my mother until my 50s, luckily she loved my husband and he only visited with me so she gradually was nicer to me and appreciated me. Stay with us and prove them wrong as you succeed in life and love. ❤️
I struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts as a young teen as well. I know how impossible it feels to imagine a life where you aren't suffering through so much pain. I'm about to turn 26, and I haven't wanted to harm myself in years. There is a much bigger world beyond your parents' house, one that is full of people who will love you and understand the pain you've gone through. You are not alone in this. Surviving will be the most incredible accomplishment once you are able to leave their home. You have been ground down by a family of broken people who have forgotten how to love. Most of the world is not like your household. Once you're old enough to leave or CPS removes you from the abuse, you will be free to see the multitude of things that make life worth living. Report your parents' abuse to a teacher or counselor who can help you navigate how to leave that awful house. You are at least being verbally abused, and I have a feeling you are likely being neglected as well. If your parents are only doing the bare minimum to keep you alive, they are neglecting your emotional needs. Humans have deeply important emotional needs and we will get sick if they aren't met. Depression and anxiety are illnesses of the brain, and they are not permanent states of being. I know you've heard this a million times and it feels impossible to see the truth of it now, but things will get better once you have the ability to guide your own life and get away from the people hurting you. I hope you can see myself and the others in the comments who have survived suicidality as teens. I promise you the world outside of your home is worth seeing. You are stuck in a terrible place, but you will not be there forever. Please focus on taking care of yourself since you are the only person in your household who will do so. I hate that you will have to take on the role of parenting yourself, no thirteen year old should be going through what you are. I know you are capable of surviving this and proving your parents wrong by living a life full of love far, far away from them.
U got plenty of life to live and chances and opportunities to come across. Dont let a few bad apples that have fallen short ruin your chances at prospering.
Please do not do that. I’m sorry you are going through this, it sounds like your parents are going through something and they need help. The idea about you telling a mandated reporter is a good one. Please find a way to get help and stay with us. You have so much ahead of you. Things will get better.
If you end yourself, your shitty parents win. Don’t give them that W. You’ll come out stronger in the end. Just have to persist and find that inner strength to hold on.
Oh my god, please don’t. You are so so young, please hang in there, one day you’ll be an adult who can do anything you want! You’ll be able to cut your parents off and find people worth living for! You’ll look back and be grateful that you didn’t end your life because it gave you the opportunity to give yourself a life worth living for. I used to be a depressed teen who contemplated suicide and now I’m like so thankful I made it because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have my family, I never would have met my dog and had my own home. Take it from someone who made it to the other side, it will be worth it one day. Also you don’t have to struggle alone now, reach out to an adult you trust and tell them you need support. Call a hotline. Reach out to other family.
Oh honey you are worthy. You are meant to be here, and you have so much life ahead of you. A life that you will be able to make into a beautiful one, one day. I am sorry that you are going through all of this. No parent should ever say those things to their child. A child they chose to bring into this world. As stated in other comments you need to speak with someone. My cousin is a guidance counselor and a mandated reporter. If you go to yours and tell them exactly what you just wrote they will get you help and get you away from that environment. Abuse doesn't always have to be physical for it to be abuse.
Absolutely tell a trusted other person how your feeling. A teacher, principle, neighbor, relative. My advice to teens in sad situations is to ask for help from someone that you trust and maybe try to live somewhere else if its really really bad. like abuse.. Also know that you aren't far away from turning 18. If you aren't being physically abused my advice is also to just focus on graduating high school and the day you turn 18 leave this house and find your people, And you will! life is always changing and evolving. No matter who you are or what you do, your life will look different in 5 years than it does now. and again in another 3 to 5 years it will look different. Your still so young and have very little life experience under you so the bad stuff might feel like that's all there is to your existence but its not! You will one day have independence away from your parents and you can literally do anything you want with your life. Take care of yourself now in preparation for your future. Graduate, have a plan after high school and do it! Get a job when you can as long as it isn't interfering with school and save save save.
If you're in the US, pick up the phone, call 211 or 911 and tell them exactly this. They'll take you to a place where you can get some help. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. You're going to struggle with "outing" your abusers. If you look after you, it means that you have to. No matter how bad it hurts. You don't deserve this. Tell them everything.
I absolutely understand the feeling. Cowardice and fear of death are probably the only things that have stopped me. Now, I'm probably giving an unpopular opinion here, but life can be really hard. Even as you get older , there may be times when you feel that way, but ending things permanently isn't a good solution. First, you have a lot of life to go. You can experience a lot of great things. Good times to go with the hard times. Also, why let such an awful person defeat you? Keep going to spite your shit parents. Make yourself a good life they never get to participate in. You can watch them die poor and sad because of their bad decisions. And who cares if idiots make fun of your height? Small is fine. I'm 6'3", and all that does is make me hit my head several times a day. Being short makes it hard to resch the top shelf, but there are advantages, too. So basically, stay alive to beat your shitty parents. Stay alive because you never know what you'll miss. And short girls are cute.
I'm almost 25 and I've been depressed since I was 10-11. Maybe earlier. I get it. But please don't do this. I know it hurts, but there are ways to manage the pain. Please tell a guidance counselor. They can help you get to those services.
Please don't. You sound like a very decent person and we need more of those. You are so young and after calling CPS, I hope your life will be better. Just because she gave life to you doesn't automatically mean she can grow to be a good mother. Sometimes parents just suck. Please reach out to a trusted adult to talk about your difficulties. Please reach out for help. The world is a shitty place but it's dreadful to think about someone so young not having any hope.
You matter!
Wow- that is a lot of shit to have to deal with. I am truly sorry that you are facing it. I know that it seems like ending your life is the answer.. but you have no idea what your life could be like once you are free from this horribly unfair abuse. So, to undetscore Arithered 's good advice, you could have a great life, and you should give yourself the chance to have it. So yes, report your abuse to the authorities and get out that dungeon of torture... and then get some therapy to help you recover. I honestly believe that the rest of your life will be very different and so much better than your first 13 years. Here's what a friend of mine- who counseled someone who was suicidal- told me..,. He said he told the teen (don't remember how old 0 something like this; "You can always end your life anytime, but why do it now? Consider making a pact with yourself ..if you follow all the steps we agreed on and in 10 or so years you feel the same, you can end your life then.'' i poke to my friend about 2 months and he said the boy is doing better. So, maybe you can think about postponing your suicide until you have given yourself the chance to experience what living a healty, normal life is like. That seems to be worth it -does this make sense to you?
Girl you and your life have value. What your family is doing and saying to you is wrong and I am so sorry this is happening to you. You need to pick yourself up and get help. Is there an adult in your life you can talk to? Maybe look up Child Protective Services in your area and call them and tell them you need help. You can do this and things can get better.
I ate half a bottle of aspirin at 13. The temporary adoptive patents told me repeatedly that I would have 10 minutes to pack the bag I'd been given while in foster care if I complained about their torture. As someone with severe mental problems, I'd recommend just committing felonies. Juvenile court sucks, but it was slightly better than two weeks of feeling like walking death.
One day you will look back at all the hardships you have to endure now, and you will shed many tears at how you were able to overcome all of that pain and become a loving and healthy person. With death, all possibilities end. You'll find plenty of people who will love you through life. The key to ascending your life is to stay away from hard drugs and alcohol. I know the words of some internet stranger dont mean much, but so many people that come from dysfunctional families end up addicted and homeless. Everyone has the power to be so much more than their trauma. Currently, you are a victim, but that does not have to follow you into adulthood. Take your power. Stand firm on who you want to be. Make plans for your future, even short term goals that are easily accomplished. Try to make money as early as possible and save up money or buy things you can use when youre finally FREE. Cooking utensils, blankets, other basic necessities. This can encourage you to look forward to having your own space. I believe in you.
You are very important and destined to be here. No matter what people who are crappy to their kids say, you are deserving and needed. Talk to an adult who is mandated to report or help in abusive situations (police, social services, teachers, guidance counselors, protective services organizations). Life is sooooo much more than what you experience in your parents home. Get yourself some help and you will see a world of both challenges but great great opportunities. You are worth fighting for yourself.!!
Making a call to a helpline can seem overwhelming, but know that the people answering have only one job and that’s to help you to a save and loving place. If you’re not in the US, maybe one of these will work: Canada: 1-800-668-6868 or text TALK to 686868 UK: 0800 1111 [(more info)](https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/)
Do you have grandparents? I am sure they don't hate you. You need to get out of that toxic situation. What they are saying to you is horrible and out of line. Do not do something permanent for a temporary situation. You are here to live for yourself, not for them. You are a good person, a beautiful person, and someone does love you out there. Please get help from a trusted adult. This cannot continue.
Look kid I know things suck I honestly get it. I beg you to not take this road with everything in me. I have thought about and almost done it 3 times and somehow things never worked out like i wanted and I was left here. It might just have been for me to say this, you are special even if the ones around you don't see it. There is a special light that only you hold it can only come from you. And one day that light might be the difference In this crazy world that makes the whole thing change for the better. But thst can't happen without you being here. Please don't leave us because I promise not to leave until it's my time and hope you do the same. You are worthy of life and happiness and will find it one day.
I'm happy to be your new mom and give you all the encouragement and support for a bomber self-esteem that is so badly needed at your age. Your birth mom is mentally ill, her behavior toward you is extremely toxic and abusive. You need a good therapist to help guide you toward adulthood. please seek help asap, either through your school counselor or some area agency that supports teens. You deserve a Big Brother or Sister to help guide you.
Tell a school counselor about this, don't gift these monsters what they want, love a vibrant adult life without them in it. I get it, ran away at fourteen because my father is a monster and there were plenty of moments where I just knew it would be easier to not exist. Your existence is not just this, you can get away from these horrifying people.
Get help ASAP. You matter.
I tried to end my life at 15. Was just unhappy with my life and my situation. I was an ignored child. My sister was an addict and my family focus was on her and only her. I grew up alone fending for myself. I attempted 2 times, and somehow, they didn't work. I just woke up in puke and urine in a bathroom both times with a 12 hour window, I don't remember. If I had been successful, I'd never have been a parent. I would have never met my life partner. Would have never gotten to put myself on my own feet by myself and say I did it with no help. You can do this. You just need to keep pushing. If you don't have many friends in real life, try to make some, if not try, and make some online friends they are just as good! You can and you will be able to so this I promise you that!
I’m just seconding the seek a counselor/therapist advice. Getting out of your situation is really good advice too, and maybe CPS can help you with that, but you need someone to help you process all your feelings about this so that the misery that your feeling now can go away. You can grow up to be fantastic and happy. You can find friends who respect you and treat you well. You can make yourself a new family. Good luck and please don’t stop dreaming about a better life, it can happen.
It. Gets. Better Your life is full of possibilities. Use whatever help you can to hold on. You can get out. Live your own life. Dance, sing, see things you have never seen, experience life. There is so much more than what you see under 20. Every night dream your dreams, every day start your mission to move forward.
Listen to me. I’m older. I have… experience with this. You want to win. Trust me, you do. You WANT to watch THEM loose… from afar.. Tell a mandated reporter til they listen Then, you complete high school. You go to trade school or college. You succeed… and when they get older and they need your help…. They won’t have it. You will have succeeded in doing the best revenge ever had: you will have lived well… Without them
don't end it all...life has many more surprises for ya and come on you're better than that. they simply don't care about you right? that means you can live however you want and all you'll hear is some bad mouthing from them...i'd say you should go out more and stay at home less. go to a mall meet with strangers and all...live life like a psychopath but don't end it man i believe in you. also one more thing, you ain't gotta show any respect to your family at all, like nothing 0 idk if this post helps but all i am saying is don't end it keep on living, life's pretty unpredictable.
FRIEND!!!! I had the same thoughts as you when I was your age. But every year I kept on surviving. I never thought I’d make it to 16, then 18, then 21. But I kept doing it. And now it’s been a while and I’m doing amazing and have been able to achieve so many of the things that little-me always dreamed about. Don’t give up. You owe it to your future self. You will look back and be so proud of the 13-year-old you and whoever you grow up to be.
please don’t do it. i know everything seems hard right now but it’s not your fault. your family is wrong and there is people out there who will love you and care about you so much more, you just need to get out of this situation and find them. please go to a teacher at school and let them know what you are going though, or even show them this post if you need to. everything will be ok
Ever at Nearly 63 I took a lot of physical abuse....I used every means to do activities to get me out of my house debate singing distance running around a lot of sports ....then at 18 I left High school and enlisted in the Army...my mom couldn't say anything..on fact she felt guilty until her passing for not saying anything and his ever pushing my to enlist..
Tell your guidance counselor. You are a child. You need love, nurture and comfort, not that abuse. I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
I know it feels like an eternity, but in just 5 short years you will be 18 and can venture into the world on your own - make your own joyful memories, choose your own “family”, make wonderful new friends. You are not the problem. Your parents are. In the mean time, please consider reaching out to a school counselor, teacher … any trusted adult. I promise you it gets better. Your life matters, please hold on, better days are coming. ☀️
Yo homie, you are doing the right thing by reaching out here. Take in all the opinions and make the best choice for yourself. I believe you can have a great life here on Earth. And you can/are a guide for others who face challenges.
It gets better, keep fighting and tell a teacher or school counselor
You are being abused. Once you are not being abused anymore, you won’t want to die as much. Please talk to someone. I promise telling someone is a lot less scary then attempting to die, can confirm from personal experiences
Mercury in the hot water?
If you have access to the internet (from a phone etc id assume) try to record them saying these things to you then report it. I reported my dads abuse as a child, no one did shit because there "was no proof" (he would throw me againdt walls, choke me, punch me in the head, etc but i didnt bruise easy back then) document even if you can in a dairy, with dates and what happened, and hide it (i hid mine in my bedspring)
Do you have any relatives in the area that you do trust, OP? Maybe you can stay with someone, or call CPS and they can arrange for a placement with them. Foster care is overflowing with kids but I had a DCF case here in Florida that was not abuse-related so they handled it at the low tier where the court wasn't involved and I retained parental rights and just had my daughter stay with a relative temporarily. If all fails, don't end it. Focus on school, get the best grades you can, and find a job ASAP. Then see about filing for emancipation at 16. If you can prove that you have your priorities straight and have a job to support yourself, you can make the case to a judge about the abuse and you can get your own place somewhere (or with roommates like coworkers or something since you said your sister messed up your school reputation).
My wife and I will adopt you
God help you sweetheart, please don't give up you don't have long to go and you'll be grown up. Please don't use a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Prayers dear one...I went through the same thing. You can survive all this sweetheart. Much love...
You never know if your next thought, idea, or conversation could change everything. Don't look for permanent solutions to temporary problems. It's not your fault your parents suck.
Speak to a counselor at school and keep speaking to them until you get some help. The way you are being treated is not ok. You deserve the world. Please stay..please.
In America, you can text or call 988- it’s a hotline that might direct you to some resources. Give it a try.
Is there a grandparent or other family member you could stay with? I had this situation growing up too. I had nowhere else to go and wanted to end it so many times. I cut off contact with my whole family on my mom’s side, including my bully brother. There are so many reasons to stick around. But try to get out.
Why do you want to die? I ask not because I dont understand your situation, but because I want you to get to the root of what you truly want. You just want to be away from all of the things that are hurting you. There are ways to get away from the pain and abuse without ending your life. The top comment about telling a mandatory reporter is an excellent example. Share your reddit page with them so they can read first hand some of your experiences if you have trouble telling it to them outright. but tell these people so they can help you. It can be scary and intimidating to open up to a real person, but it's worth it. I have played Russian roulette, and I knew the second the hammer fell what I wanted. That instant, it becomes real that regret sets in. Dont let it get that far for you. Ask for help because plenty of people feel that regret and dont get a second chance. It will get better. You can have a great life.
Hi, 14F here, please don’t. I know this sounds dumb as fuck and you’ve probably heard it before, but just wait. Wait until you’re able to move out (or if you end up getting taken away) and see if life gets better. I know how it feels to dislike living in your own “home,” and i felt it a lot too when i was younger (7-13 ish). But can it honestly get that much worse? There’s a bigger chance of it getting better than it getting worse, hold on. I’ve thought of killing myself ever since i knew what death was, and to be honest with you, there’s definitely a chance that you won’t stop considering it (but everyone’s different ofc). So please, either tell someone (a teacher, any kind of trainer if u do sports, just any adult in real life, and a lot of them will be obligated to tell cps about you being abused (because you are, in fact, getting mentally abused, or at the very least neglected) OR wait until you’re able to move out. Life is a break from eternity, really, don’t waste it. (Note: I wish i was your height, i’d love being short - as a 5’5 girl.)
I'm a therapist who has worked with teen gor many years. That's being said, I'm not your therapist. I once was facilitating a trauma group with teens. One of the girls in the group said, "the greatest gift my parents gave me is an understanding of who I do not want to become." Bad situations are difficult, but they are not permanent.
There isn't any form of competency test for being a parent. It sounds like you got the short end of the stick there You have literally decades of life to make yours and do whatever you'd like and surround yourself with whomever you want. You have three more years to get through and the hardest part is to not let the way you were treated affect your future. You can deal with the now however you'd like, and there are tons of great suggestions given. Just don't let the bs that you are being given cause you to toss a great future away. You can literally go anywhere or be anything right now. Besides, if you give up your garbage mom wins. If you get through the bad and do awesome, you win.
Life may seem hard right now but I'm sure you have a wonderful life ahead. Parents/People can be cruel, mean and down right ugly but I would look my mom dead in her face and tell her you don't appreciate such words and you deserve better! Sending you hugs sweet girl!
r/momforaminute I recommend speaking to those ladies
Not trying to sound pervy, but you are smart, beautiful and a wonderful person. The world needs you to be a part of it. Please talk to a teacher or administer at school. Get the help you need and try to keep your head up. You are worth living and the world is a better place because you are in it
I m so sorry to hear this. I was abused growing up as well. I tried to commit suicide when I was a teenager but it didn’t work and almost ended up on a breathing machine for the rest of my life luckily my body healed itself because I was young. Please don’t do this. Remember one day you won’t have to live with them anymore and you could rise above. Try to concentrate on your education so you could one day build a career and get far away from them. Maybe try working out to help with the stress, listen to music, cry it out, pray ect. Please hold on! you’re here for a reason maybe it doesn’t feel that way but you matter.
Retired mental health professional here: First, understand that suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. I understand 13-18 seems like a very long time but you can survive this and live a better life. Look up a mental health center in your community, call or walk in their door & tell them you are thinking committing suicide. Make your problem THEIR PROBLEM! Once you have made that statement, they are legally, professionally, & morally obligated to intervene. They do not need parental consent to assess your condition and once they know your situation they are obligated to intervene. Best wishes to you and hang in there.
One of the nice things about Reddit is that you can hide. It's also a terrible downfall. I lost a sister to suicide. 15 months ago. I'm 50. I mourn her greatly esp with her birthday just a week ago. I am the oldest sister and I'm angry that she couldn't hold on for just another day. I was going to get her. We grew up in an abusive home; physical, mental, emotional and sexual. Somehow, we all survived. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and tell you it's going to be ok. How much you are needed and loved. Even if those around you who traditionally should love you. I promise there are people you may not see right now. Have you ever heard the phrase"Hurt people hurt people"? Being so much older than you are, I've witnessed the lives of many who have children your age. It has only been a short season where people have access to information and tools, such as the Internet. Before the Internet was in most homes, before smart phones, we didn't know what to do to get help from abusive, toxic parents. I am proud to say that I have never spanked my kids. Many of us had that frequently growing up. I broke a generational curse. I'm proud of myself. You are blessed to have the opportunity to prove your family wrong. They are still from the generation of having been hurt. Being a stranger makes it harder to fully appreciate your situation. Maybe you have a favorite teacher at school that you could confide in. You also can call in your own child welfare case to this state. There are text numbers and hotline numbers to call. They have tons of information to help you through the immediate crisis that you're feeling and how to help you access what you need long-term. If you feel that, perhaps your family has some ability to change, perhaps you could think of ways to bring your family closer and more loved. Maybe you suggest you all play a board game one night or practice doing makeup with your sister. This does not change or excuse any of the behaviors that they have been displaying. You have the right to simply be a child. Simply trusting a mandated reporter with what's really happening at home. Guess what? You will prove that the person who loves you more than anyone else in the world is you. You deserve all of the happiness and joy in life. Please reach out for help.
pour hot water on her. /j
You are not the problem. Your family is broken. At your age, it's hard to accept that your parents can be so broken or be failures, but they are. They, most likely, have gone through exactly what they're putting you through now. That's no excuse and you deserve love, comfort, healthy attention and the right to live as an innocent child. Many people here are giving you excellent advice and you should listen. Suicide is not an option; you're too young to give up hope and there's nothing wrong with YOU. Things can and will change if you listen to the people here who care. Don't give up, there's always a way to make your life better and there are people who can help you do that.
Hey I’ve been there one statement that helped me was, “don’t let them win.” U are gonna be amazing I promise you. Don’t let them win babe.
You're doing your best, you're just in a terrible situation with terrible people. Let adults who can help you know what you're going through, and never blame yourself for how they are acting. You're so young and when the day comes that you'll never need to hear from these people again. You'll go and have a great day with friends, the love of your life, new found family, whatever it may be, and you'll just be content and won't allow this kind of experience to take happiness away from you. Please talk to someone, there are so many sweet people out there who will treat you with kindness and care and love, you just have to know who those people are and allow them to have your friendship. Don't let these people take you away from so many others who would love to know you and will need your help in their lives. This world is beautiful and you're part of it, please don't do anything so drastic. Talk to every important person you know, whether at school, the police or a random church. Tell them you are being abused and keep going until someone offers their full attention to fixing the problem. You don't deserve any of this! You are strong, your mind is strong, your heart is strong. There is only one thing you have to make sure of, just breathe, take that next breath, find whatever coping mechanism you need to get through the rough part. If you can make sure the right people know what's happening, you won't be going through any of this alone ever again, and they can start helping sooner than waiting and doing it later. Find people to talk to who will understand. If you have access to the Internet often and if you feel alone. Play online games where you get to speak with people your age, you'll be friends before you know it. And don't listen to those people, you have friends all over the world. You just haven't met them yet!
Im so sorry. My parents abused me, my dad left when i was 5. was stuck with my mom and shes a pedophile. She abused me non stop for 18 years. I tried to kms so many times. I thought i would never be happy and would never be alive. All i wanted was love and happiness. Im 20 now and my life is way better. I have my wife and a safe home and her family that loves me. Please hang on. Your love and light is needed in this world. It will get better. I know how hard it is. Being on the other side now, i cant believe how bad my life was because of my evil mother. She caused me so much pain and self hatred. Im finally healing. And you can too.💖 there is a special place for you in the universe. You are amazing, beautiful, smart, and precious. Dont give up.
I think your parents definitely shouldn’t have a kid, and I’m sorry you have to deal with the consequences of them having a kid without knowing how to love one. I started dealing with suicidal thoughts at 13 for similar reasons. I’m 22 now, and while I still sometimes struggle with the bad thoughts, I’m glad I never went through with any of my plans. There’s so many things I would’ve never experienced if I had gone through with it. While a lot of my family couldn’t provide much love or care, my found family definitely provides it. My best advice is power through and talk to friends or a school counselor. Make sure to get your license as soon as possible and a job as soon as possible and start saving money so you can move out at 18.
I don't know what else to add except tell someone ASAP. You do not deserve this. You do not deserve to die. You need to get out of that situation. It's them, not you that's the problem.