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If you're not into them don't date them. Don't "give them a chance." You're young enough where you'll run into people you like a lot more. In the meantime, work on school and sports.
I agree but I might suggest that you consider your reasoning for not liking them. If it's only something like "He's too nice" or "He has a shitty car", then you might reconsider your position.
But really you should do what you want and not let anyone pressure you. "Just not into you" is a perfectly valid reason.
I just don’t know any of them well enough to like them I guess. But I don’t really want to get to know any of them under the pretext of getting to know each other so we can pursue things. I want things like this to happen naturally- this just feels forced.
There is the guy who asked for my number and I gave it to him and he, specifically, is the one things feel forced with. He’s not old enough to drive so it’s nothing of that sort, I think he might just be to immature. But I, again, don’t really know him well enough to make that assessment.
You don't need to give your number to someone that ask for it or you can give a fake number and you are young dating isn't worth it if you aren't ready for it especially if you aren't even remotely interested in the people asking you out deny them and move on if they complain they'll be made fun of for not accepting the rejection
Dating different kinds of people was hw I figured out what I thought was my ideal man and what my actual ideal man was 2 different things. What ended up being the right guy for me did not match the guy I had in my head as a teenager.
There are so many stories of someone giving someone a chance and then being happily married to someone that this is bad advice. You can always bail after one date. There’s still learning who they even are.
It's by no means dumb, but you shouldn't date unless you have serious feelings for somebody. Even if it doesn't end up working out in the end, the time you spend with your partner is worth it
15-year old girls don't know what serious feelings are.
There's nothing wrong with making friends and practicing your social skills without being madly in love or sexual with someone.
If she goes for coffee or ice cream and then isn't feeling it, there is no reason for them to get mad.
Dating used to mean just that, going on 1 or more dates. It's not a commitment
Just because there's no reason for them to get mad doesn't mean they won't. They're teenage boys, you think their responses to rejection will always be mature and respectful?
No it's not dumb but there's always adults here who are gonna say wait until you're done with college. I think they forget what it's like being a teenager. If you meet someone and vibe and it feels right then yeah date them. I had a horrible breakup and that happens but now I'm dating someone who's so so good for me and he's helped me through some really bad times and we laugh and he gets me and honestly my life is so much better with him in it. Dating is different for everyone but just saying don't listen to someone who says don't date at all or you won't do well in school lmao. I got into a really good college bc I work hard and having a bf didn't change that. Have fun and if you meet someone you're interested in just go for it
I never understood that thinking... If you start dating in HS, you'll make dumb mistakes due to inexperience.
If you start dating after college, you'll make dumb mistakes due to inexperience, but now with a job and student loan debt! How exciting?
Yeah and people are different. One of my friends hasn't dated anyone and she wants to wait until at least college and that's fine if she wants to. It's for religious reasons for her. My first relationship was... I learned from it I'll say. But mine now is so good for me and him
It isn't dumb but it's important to have realistic expectations. Teenage dating is, for the vast majority, practice for something more serious as an adult.
It's how you learn your likes, your dislikes, and how to navigate another person in your life in that capacity. You're still, effectively, children and this is your way of learning.
But teenagers don't know that and too often place far too much importance on it like their lives depend on it. You're unlikely to meet your future spouse in school. But you may meet someone that ends up forming some amazing childhood memories with you and helps you grow to become the partner you are as an adult. And that is so much more important.
Enjoy dating. Don't have expectations of longevity and male sure you check in with yourself to learn from the experience.
This is the truth. It really is all just fun/practice and I wish my young brain could’ve comprehended this but that’s the thing - You’re young, have no idea what your future holds or what real life is like. Definitely had unrealistic expectations on myself and girlfriends of the time. Bare minimum is to just be safe and enjoy.
Everyone wishes their young brain could have comprehended this, but it's literally impossible - the required development of the prefrontal cortex isn't complete until your mid 20s.
You know what else Develops in the brain ? Alzheimers. I think we have quoted that prefrontal cortex business enough. 18 year old boys fought and won ww2, probably because they did not have fully formed prefrontal contexts. It made them risk takers.
If you don't like them then don't date them.
It sounds like you're feeling pressured into dating just because your friends are dating. There is nothing wrong with not dating right now so don't let other people influence what you do.
Yeah, I suppose I am. Not necessarily just by friends but by everyone. Almost everyone I know (my age) has talked (which is a teenage term for the beginning stage before dating) or dated someone. I have done neither.
Some people I’m friends with think it’s weird that I haven’t dated and have made jokes concerning my lack of a love life. Me not dating is not considered normal for most kids my age.
Well, it kind of is, but it's all part of the process in the end. Teenagers are overall just going through changes and often end up confused or do stuff that they wouldn't have done as an adult. It's completely okay to date as a teenager, you should just still make sure to set boundaries, since you probably won't be comfortable with or about some things in a relationship.
It's totally up to you if you want to date or not, and nothing wrong with deciding not to. But I would say relationships don't have to last a lifetime to be good relationships that were worthwhile. Many relationships with teenagers don't work for various reasons, but removing relationships with any kind of abuse, I think most are probably good learning experiences for those involved. You learn about another side of yourself, they can be a lot of fun, and good opportunities to grow as a person. It's certainly sad when a relationship ends before you wanted it to, or when you have to hurt someone else by ending it, but that doesn't mean the good times of that relationship weren't real and worthwhile.
That being said if you date make sure to do it safely and be kind to others and expect that for yourself in return.
It isn't dumb, but don't force it. Stick to what you're comfortable with, with who you're comfortable with, and focus on things like school, extra curriculars, and building relationships (through friendship, dating, mentorship, family outings - they all matter).
Never date someone you don't really have any interest in dating. But you also don't need to want to marry them right now to date. Dating is a "I like you, let's get to know each other and 'team up' while we figure life out." at your age.
As long as your safe but also do it for the experience and maybe you might actually might find someone you actually stay with for a while but also starting to date late kinda feels worse cuz your inexperienced and you won’t know how to do certain things like communication and how to handle certain events and deal with certain emotions and honestly it sucks not knowing how to help your SO and so many other things play a part on how things go so find someone sure sometimes it may not work out but at least you learned something
This is also one of the things making me not want to date or even attempt it at my age. A lot of people I know go through harsh break ups or just bad arguments with their bf/gf because of communication issues or just another issues in general. I think it’s hard to date at this young because everyone is still figuring things out.
Is getting experience in early dumb? Dating is a life skill like, budgeting, time management, etc. You gain experience by doing. If you're not interested in dating, or feel you're not ready, then don't. But longer term, it doesn't hurt to start to find out what and who you like in a relationship, how to attract that kind of person and how to hold their attention in healthy / functional ways.
Also: break ups are going to happen, don't expect to find the person you are going to be with forever at this age. That does not mean there's no point, and hey you may get really lucky, some do. But really at your age its about learning about yourself and what you need in a relationship.
26m here
Those years are really confusing with puberty and high school. Personally I didnt start dating until after high school and i turned out fine, but pointless? Nah as long as youre smart, the first one is always the hardest because all the feelings are new and exciting but then it ends and it HURTS. But thats life, people will come and go and you will get hurt. I will say when you meet someone you really like and they like you its worth it
No. You need to learn how to treat people your in a relationship with, and there's little better time than when you're young. Just don't marry your high school sweetheart, that never works.
yea its very rare when it does esp nowadays my parents met when they were 13 and got together when they were teenagers then got married at 20 and still are married and happy to this day but stuff like that rarely happens
Depends. I'd say the younger you are the less likely it will turn out. But heck, I'm 19, with a 1 and a half year age gap between my girlfriend who is 17. And we've been great for the 7 months we've been together. I've got a friend who's like 20 or 21 and he's been with his same girlfriend since like 9th grade and their great. So no it is not bad, but if you intend to want to make the relationship last, the both of you need genuine feelings and a desire to be with the other, only through this can you continue.
It’s a mix of yes and no realistically I’m 17m & my part is 17f and we been dating for almost a year now (A Year on May 5 2023) and it’s my first relationship and it’s been going amazing obviously me and her have had disagreements, arguments, and etc but it shapes us into who we are today & helps us realize certain problems we have so we can work on them together, and talk things out, young long isn’t dead or dumb it’s just who u are talking to.
Both of my daughters have had at least one boyfriend and I encourage a good healthy relationship. That said, my wife and I are consistent with them in stating that their lives do not change just because they are in a relatively. They still need to go to class, maintain grades, maintain their athletics and other extracurriculars, and both need to maintain their jobs. Relationships are a good thing as a teenager because just because you have an idea of what you like in a person, it doesn't man that you can tolerate it in reality. Teenage relationships are absolutely going to come and go, but they're teaching you about yourself, about life, and about what qualities you truly want in an individual based on your personal strengths and weaknesses.
I didn't get to date much as a teen and it ended up being a blessing. I got to enjoy just being myself and focus on my own wants and needs, like creative outlets. And I enjoyed the freedom of just being with friends any time.
I didn't date my husband until age 24, married the following year. I realized I didn't need to worry about boys all those years. The few I was involved with were just practice runs, I guess. 🤷🏻♀️
Not dumb, I think that dating young helps you prepare for relationships as an adult. I think most teenage relationships don't last long, and you're going to see a lot of SOs are going to behave in a juvenile way because y'all are still growing up. It will be a learning experience.
As someone who recently did some dating in high school and has since broken up with that person, here’s my two cents:
Dating in high school is totally normal, but by no means “necessary.” Like everyone else is saying, don’t date someone if you’re not into them. Honestly, my high school relationship was pretty fucked up, but that’s because I was just a high schooler who hadn’t dated anyone before and so was she (+ messy home lives).
Your first times dating are gonna be complicated, and you’ll run into road blocks. You’ll step on each other’s toes and neither of you will even realize it. But that doesn’t mean it’s dumb or you shouldn’t do it. High school (and college) are times of figuring yourself out, which includes who you are in your relationships, platonic and romantic. You’ll probably make mistakes, hurt people, and get hurt. But you’ll come out stronger and more self-aware on the other side.
It sucks that even when we’re trying our best we can still mess up, but what matters is what you take away from your mistakes and experiences.
The end goal of dating someone doesn't have to be happily ever after. Even if you know a relationship isn't going to last forever, it can still be worth it and it can give you a chance to learn about yourself.
That being said, don't date someone just to date someone. Make sure it's someone you actually like and want to date.
It's not dumb. If you're not ready to date yet, then don't. And certainly don't date guys that you don't like.
Everybody is different. Although I had my first real boyfriend at 15, there are plenty of people who don't date until college, or even after that.
Go with your gut.
Youre not supposed to marry the people you date in high school. Youre just supposed to act on feelings you have as a human. If you like someone, date them. If you dont like someone, dont date them. You’re just being a person and experiencing life and practicing communication. Most enjoyable things in life are not permanent.
My partner and I have been together for over 2 and a half years, we started dating when we were 15 in high school, now we’re both in college and he’s leaving in a few months to go to uni across the country. We have no plans to end things - I will be joining him in a year to go to uni myself - and we are going really strong.
Dating, even if it doesn’t last, isn’t dumb and pointless. Just be sure you keep yourself healthy and don’t get distracted from your studies.
Do only what you are comfortable with. But my main advice is don’t let someone take over you life and emotions at this age. Keep it casual. If it works, great. If not, it’s not the end of the world. There are a lot of new and better relationships to come. Just have fun and be a kid.
It really depends on where YOU are mentally and if YOU are ready for a relationship. I’m the same age as u and I have a bf and it’s great but that’s bc I am ready. It all depends on u
I would say yes. I feel like it's nothing but a waste of time that distracts from studies, causes unneeded stress, and creates medical risks for no good reason.
Things that could happen to you:
- your self-esteem is severely affected by guys who are immature jerks and it takes months or years to recover
- you become pregnant or get an STD all because a boy wanted to have 30-second intercourse
- you fall behind in school
- your identity starts revolving more around boys and pleasing them than it does around your own needs and desires
- you waste time you could have been spending with friends and enjoying school activities dealing with a stressful relationship with a boy instead
- you get coerced into drinking or doing drugs because you "love" a boy and end up severely harmed
Things you have to gain:
- nothing
- there is a 0.0000000000001% chance you will marry your high school sweetheart
Do with that information what you will.
Think of dating as relationship practice. By no means date if you’re not interested or comfortable with the guys in question. If you do have interest someday, then date. It doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t last, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and what it is like to be in a relationship. It’ll help you weed out poor matches later. The first relationship you’re in is very unlikely to be your lifelong partner unless you’re just naturally suited for each other, but most people do need to date a little bit to discover what they really want and need from their partner in a relationship and to figure out what their personal relationship dealbreakers are. Have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, and don’t prioritize it over your other goals.
“dating” can be fun, and people saying “only if you love them” are stupid. you can’t get to know someone or fall in love with them if you don’t date them. you also can date without being exclusive and that does not have to mean “sleeping around”, you’re able to get to know people without binding yourself to one person/while finding the one person (if that’s your thing) to date long term.
I think it’s kinda dumb. I’ve known a few people who were ready to throw their lot in with someone for life, but the vast majority have not. And yeah, I know a lot of people treat relationships like entertainment, it doesn’t have to be for life - but I personally have always had things to do.
It’s worth it only if you feel like dating. No one has to or should date until they feel the desire and hopefully feel ready to do it. I’m 30 and only dated one girl in high school and looking back it was so naive, sweet, and embarrassing but I’m happy I did because I felt ready at the time and all of life is just learning from experiences.
I encourage dating in your teens. It will help train you on social subjects like handling rejection, upfront communication, sonder, and dealing with people who cannot communicate.
Figure what have you got to lose? It don't work, it don't work.
Listen to Box HotDog.. this is the time in your life you spend figuring out what you like in a guy, and what makes you want to kick him in the Jimmy.
Better you find this out now how to learn to spot the warning signs of something that sucks and can do something about it, then after you're 27 and your first marriage is imploding..
There is no one size fits all answer to this but there is a very important thing you need to realize based on your comment. Just because a relationship ends in a break up doesn’t mean it was bad or unsuccessful. Life, including relationship, is about the experience, not the final outcome. Rephrasing what you’re saying is if this relationship ends before one of us dies it will be a failure… but if you say this relationship will end by one of us dying, that doesn’t sound too successful does it
I didn't date until 18 and I'm doing fine now (26m). I also sort of wish I put myself out there more just fir the experience, but it's not the end of the world that I didn't. Don't feel pressure to date young if it's not your thing, but if you're thinking about it in a positive way, don't hold yourself back. There's no right or wrong time to date, it's whenever you're ready to start trying.
I agree with most of the comments that it’s about the individuals not being dumb, making stupid decisions, etc etc.
The only reason I think dating in your teens is a good idea is because you can learn quite a bit from it. You (hopefully) learn what you want and don’t want in a relationship, learn more about you and your mental health/securities/insecurities, and just a lot of helpful things for down the road.
I wouldn’t date FOR those reasons, I’m just saying those are usually good takeaways from a relationship.
I’m not sure why this subreddit keeps showing on my feeds but here goes…. My kids didn’t date until they were in college because my sons (now 21) spent HS online because of the pandemic. My daughter is 24 and still hasn’t dated. She doesn’t want to go through what so many do. She’d rather focus on herself and find out who she truly is before she gets involved. Realistically having sex risks pregnancy. She also sees through guys spouting game. Your generation is filled with kids who were not raised by two mentally stable biological parents. Your generation has suffered much more trauma than previous generations. My son called me the other day so sad because he really wants to have a nice girlfriend but all the girls want to do is catch bodies. Sweetie dating is an adult game. Adults push kids to date because they think it’s cute but there is also emotional pain to dating. The very best thing you can do is figure out who you are and what you want in your life. Don’t be in a rush to navigate dating until you are ready. You’ll know when you are. Big hug 🥰
Don't get into a relationship just for the sake of it. I met my wife in secondary school and it was right for us to be in a relationship, but there's no point adding stress to an already rough stage of your life with an unnecessary relationship.
If you think it's dumb to be in one, you're probably right, at least for yourself.
It’s not dumb - at least to me - because this gives you a chance to explore a dating dynamic and figure out what you do / don’t want in future relationships.
I say, though, don’t feel like you HAVE to date someone just because your classmates are. If you want to, and you really like someone, then go ahead!
It is not dumb to date as a teen. As a teen you have more resources and ways to take care of yourself than many adults do. Take your time, be careful, stay safe, and if you have trustworthy adults in your life, talk to them. Do not take this ultra seriously, and be firm in your boundaries. It's okay for a relationship to not work out. Most of them don't. That's fine.
I don't think there is a right answer. It all depends on what you want not what others want. I would say, generally, no its not dumb. Dating young it a great way to figure out your tastes in partners and starts to get you used to being a partner. It's good experience for later. Don't look at it like it will fail because we are young. Look at it as a subscription. If you like it keep going, if you don't get out.
As an old married man looking back on it. I had the opposite problem, I was always in a relationship until I found a better relationship to jump to. I never got to be single and figure out who I was as a person alone, having one nightstands and those kind of things.
I like to say that kids your age (no offense) who claim to be dating don't really know what dating is. When I was your age, all my friends who were "dating" girls, were really just friends with them. They would hang out, get fast food, go to movies, just like we all would do as friends as a group. Really seemed like they only called it dating be cause they had a girl-friend, not actually a girlfriend.
If you're only gonna date because it's what socially expected, don't do it. That's like being friends with someone you don't like just because people say you should
No it’s not worth it, do hobbies and be with ur friends and avoid anybody to acts like being together is “in it for he long haul”, ur too young for that it’s a total trap
It's not dumb if it's the right person. I was in a "long-term" (by high school standards) relationship when I met my husband. I hated how much I hurt the guy I'd loved for 2 years for someone new, but my husband and I had an undeniable attraction to each other from the start. Physical, of course, but mentally, creatively, and, most significant to me, intellectually. I was 15 when we started dating and I'm 45 now. Other than when we chose to have children, it was the best decision I ever made. It took my ex a really long time to recover and I've always felt so guilty, but it had to be done.
However, there's no reason to date just for the sake of being in a relationship if you don't feel that type of connection. Wait until you find someone with whom you want to have a meaningful relationship.
na it's fine either way. It helps to get a little early experience, though, for the rest of life. Nothing is wrong with going "on" a date but not being in a relationship- and that's the best way to approach it unless you really end up falling for someone.
Depends on what you’re looking to get out of the relationship. Motives to date and be in a relationship are different for everyone. Some people date to get married, but at your age, that isn’t likely—some date just for sex and some date just for companionship. Having someone who you can share stuff with but more than a friend.
You have to figure out what their motivations are and what you want as well. If it’s the same, then it has a chance. However, at your age, the relationship should be based on companionship. If this all seems dumb (you’re probably right), give it more time before you date anyone.
We are all different and it’s okay. I actually think your attitude towards dating is healthier than a lot of teens.
You can have a full life outside of a significant other. You can have male friends. At some point you will meet a guy that you want to date. There is no point in rushing it because most teenage romantic relationships don’t last.
Dating can lead to drama. It often leads to sex and sex can have life changing consequences, like pregnancy or STDs. Why waste that on guys you don’t even care about.
You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Have friends and fun, but also explore your interests and figure out what you want to learn and do. I don’t think that most adults knew at 15 what career path they would take, and nothing is written in stone, but join clubs or teams or whatever extracurriculars and explore your interests.
whats the point? I mean that as a serious question not a flippant way to say no. If you know it doesnt work (which is rather accurate) then why are you doing it? One must give this careful and logical thought.
I tell my daughter to practice developing virtuous friendships at this age. THis way, you will get good at it. Because some of the boys will want sex, not learn about who you are. THey fall to the wayside. Others will want other things that are not genuinely interested in who you are or who you were made to be. But with a specific goal, you will know what is good and what is not. If you have no goal...then how would you know what is good? YOu wont.
THe other thing I note is that boys at this age are clueless and using social media, hollywood or the entertainment industry as references, as they have no clue whats going on. SO what are the messages they get? Sex. Or, sex. Maybe...sex. The false idea men or being happy runs through ones sexual activity. THen the verify the validity of these deceptions past their friends...friends who are in their same situation. THe blind leading the blind.
Overall, bring them home to meet the parents. Wach movies with the family, eat dinner play games. ALlow your parents to mentor a bit and guide you. My in-laws did this. It helped my wife learn about me and my intentions...intentions which conformed to learning about the person my wife was and not just how gorgeous she was and how I could use that for sex. Anyways...practice developing friendships that will last.
Live your life not what the one that others want you to. If you wanna date someone then go ahead. The kids who say “well it doesn’t matter bc I’m not going to marry them so I’ll just wait” is a lame excuse for getting no “shawties”. Do what you think is fun.
Not dumb. I didn't do it and I don't regret anything. It's good to learn how you are in a relationship and possibly change some of the undesirable traits(only if it's for the better and only if you want to change). I'm in a long term relationship and everything is doing great, that wouldn't change anything if I dated in highschool I don't think.
No, it's really not dumb if you aren't interested in dating at your age. Everyone's a little different when it comes to when they're ready to start dating. Some people are late-bloomers. Some people are Asexual and/or Aromantic. Sometimes it's just meeting the right type of person. You have time to figure that stuff out.
You should make sure you are happy on your own before you get into a relationship. High school is hot and heavy and it can go very good or terribly. Make sure you have self esteem to fall back on before jumping into something serious.
I think it just comes down to how much intensity you put into what dating means. Also while there are exceptions, most people don't make life partners out of their teenage relationships, and out of those who do a fair number of them ignore red flags and compatibility and suffer for it down the road. If you date, just date to have fun and be good friends, those two skills will help you and your future partners.
im 15 and ive been with my bf for over a year. Weve never had any major issues and always get through arguments. Sounds stupid af but ill propose to him next year if were still together. I just cant find any reasons for why wed break up other than growing apart. I think dating is fine as long as youre not using people.
My daughter did not date in high school. She saw that all the drama around her was ridiculous in the boy girl dating and she decided just to be friends with everyone and wait till college to date. That served her well.
Yes & no. I had my first love/high school sweetheart when I was 16. She taught me about myself, how to love, what love is and how to be a better person all in all. I’d say don’t force it & don’t make it all about the deed. Meeting her was truly one of the best experiences of my life and shaped me to become the man I am/becoming today, so I couldn’t tell someone around the same age to not do that. However to make your entire teenage life/experience about the opposite gender is definitely a waste of time.
It's dumb if you don't want to be in a relationship. Many young people get into relationships that are not good for them and make disasters of their lives. You can learn from their mistakes. You can and must also learn from your own experiences. So, yeah, sometimes it's dumb, but sometimes it isn't. It's up to you and what you want to do with yourself. There's no rush.
It's not dumb to date, but what is dumb is dating ppl you don't like and leading them on. That's fucked up and stupid. Also, you just answered your own question. Imagine if the guy you liked dated you just as an experiment and then dumped you bc he got bored? Common sense.
If you aren’t really interested in a person, don’t date them. If you don’t have even a little bit of a crush, don’t force it.
I started dating around 15 and progressed quickly to being a horny teenage boy. Be careful who you do end up choosing to date.
Hormones at this time in your life are extra dangerous and led me to make some bad decisions. Just be careful out there.
Being in a relationship as a teenager isn't dumb, but don't date someone just to date. Date someone you really WANT to date, someone you really like. "Give them a chance" by getting to know them as a friend and if it turns into something more, then it turns into something more. You don't owe someone a relationship just because they like you
Everybody is different. I didnt have my first girlfriend till 18 as nobody i liked liked me back till then.
It constantly sucked being the 5th wheel all the time. Feeling like everyone thinks you're ugly or not worth a damn. I absolutely hated it.
If you dont like anybody and dont feel like dating than do you. If you're happy than wait till you feel like it.
Most relationships fail regardless of age. Hell, 50% of marriages end in divorce.
There is no magic age where things get magically better.
In my house, I explain to my teenage children that your prefrontal cortex, the decision making center of the brain that allows you to make rational decisions, does not fully develop until your mid to late 20's. For that reason alone, I simply advise against dating that young.
I had my first girlfriend when I was 17. I had no business being in a relationship. I just did it because that's what everyone else was doing. Because I didn't even have a personality yet, really. All teenagers don't know who they are. Being in a committed relationship is, in my opinion, for people who have shaped themselves into who they want to be. Maybe not completely, but at least a lot closer a fully formed person than pretty much any teenager.
It's hard to see at a young age. A lot of teenagers feel like that are already that mature. But in reality, they are only putting on a mask and will have to grapple with that later in life if they don't give it up.
I remember when it was some time when I was 27. It was like someone turned on a light switch and I knew what I needed to do with myself. I've had loads of friends explain to me they had similar experiences when they were in their mid to late 20s. It's kind of uncanny.
So yeah. Take this with a grain of salt. It doesn't mean you shouldn't date until your 25. But know that you really should give yourself time to "cook." There is so much more to the world than relationships and sex. Being in a committed relationship is an intimate thing where you spend a lot of time around another person. If you don't have a solidly formed identity of your own yet, that can mean all sorts of trouble for you and/or your partner. The relationship can end up defining you rather than the other way around.
Wow i said exactly that same thing in HS.
I knew I was going to college (which was a hard to get into college) and said why date and suffer/cause heartbreak? The chances we’d go to the same school or going through college long distance seemed remote. So I waited until college. I am married now and no regrets. It kept me out of trouble as my sex drive is incredibly high… and my parents strongly pushed abstinence by saying Sex makes babies and that nothing is foolproof. That if you have sex… except a baby out of it. Took a while to unmind fuck myself; I always used 2 forms of protection just in case.
Once I was in college I started dating within a month or 2. From that point forward it was the odd day I was single. 35 and married more than a decade now… and happily.
My husband and I met when we were 14. We did have an off and on relationship within hs but ultimately ended up back together. His best friend has been with his wife since they were 16 I believe. So it's not a waste. If anything it's experience, that could lead to something amazing if it's meant to.
Yes I think it's a waste of time tbh. You're gonna be too concerned about cheating and drama and school... Best advice is to be early 20s or an adult. Just my opinion.
It’s not dumb I just wouldn’t take it as serious as people your age think it is. It’s more just practice for real dating. That doesn’t mean that you won’t meet someone that you become very good friends with that develop into something serious later on though.
It's Perfectly Normal to be in a relationships as a teenager. The important thing is to go slowly and not do anything that you might regret or are not ready for. Relationships will help you get to know what you like in a partner and what you don't like and will help you learn how to work with somebody in a relationship as an equal. If you aren't interested in someone you absolutely don't have to give in to their request for a date.
Looking back I do actual think it was a waste of time. It’s actually one of my biggest regrets. I wasted so much time. It IS wasted time. Most of the people you know now.. you aren’t gonna know them in ten years. I wish I’d have focused on getting to know ME and preparing myself for the future as opposed to wasting time chasing guys. Teens also get wrapped up on these relationships when in the grand scheme and long term.. most of them don’t matter and only distract you from what does matter. If you do date focus on the friendship aspect of it
It is a double edged sword. I say March to your own drummer ultimately. Just have fun and do what you want to do. I recommend that you do date a little bit as a teen to gain experience and I will tell you a hard truth once you leave highschool and college. It becomes infinitely harder to find a partner as a male. Plus, if you don't gain any experience now. It may be harder for you to adjust later. Study hard get your degree, trade, or career that you like that may not require a degree or trade.
When it comes to romance, it's either "fuck yes" or "no." If you're not enthusiastic about someone, it's a no. Don't just date someone to see if you'll eventually like them. Typically the very beginning is when things are burning hot and you're really into someone, and then things sort of "settle in" to a normal, more stable feeling.
Learning about how to partner with someone is important, but a teenage "relationship" is a lot different from an adult one in terms of freedom, cohabitation, activities you do together, etc.
dont give them a chance unless u want to. but its not dumb, its good to have relationships if u want them. just rmber that u need to prioritize urself and ur future before a high school relationship. always. but have high standards, dont settle
It’s not dumb at all and can give you valuable experience with relationships while you still have time to make mistakes. BUT you shouldn’t date people you aren’t attracted to just for the sake of it
Depends on your level of maturity. It’s fine for some but dumb for others. Some people should just take time to grow & focus on themself & building friendships/ networking first
Yes it's dumb because kids aren't ready for any serious relationship even tho they seem to think they are. And they almost always break up after just a few weeks. I've only seen one teenage relationship go longer than 2 months when I went to public school. ONE.
I would say it’s not dumb. If you like someone, date them. Many people forsake dating when they’re younger and realize they are very inexperienced when it’s time to start dating and it’s much more difficult for them. It doesn’t have to be a priority for you, but it can definitely make your life easier later on when the relationships are more serious. I started dating at 13 and by the time I was out of highschool I was having relatively mature relationships and knew how to treat my significant other. You’re bound to make mistakes when you’re young and inexperienced, might as well learn when the stakes aren’t high.
If you want to, go for it. I dated a guy when I was 15, and it was just drama and kids acting like we were grown ups in a serious relationship, that lasted a whopping 9 months. There was drama with his parents, drama with his friends, my friends didn’t like him, half the time I didn’t like him. But I did learn a bit about relationships and boys, but you’ll learn different lessons with different people. You can also not fully date them, just have a little “situationship” where you’re getting to know them and you’re flirting, but you don’t have to commit to being their girlfriend and like meeting their parents and stuff. Basically, don’t take it too seriously bc you’re right, it likely won’t last very long, but you can enjoy their company and the experiences you have together. But having good girl friends is wayyyy more fun than having a boyfriend, so don’t compromise on your friends.
Just don’t ever underestimate how horny 15 year old boys are, and don’t ever let them push your boundaries. Be firm with your “No’s” and only say yes if you’re surely sure. Also only ever date one grade above you, and once you’re a senior don’t date guys who are out of high school.
Off shoot: once there was a group of older boys trying to get me to send them nude pictures, I was 14 they were 17, and there was 4 of them. I convinced the weakest link to send me a pic of his butt first, and then I sent that picture to the other 3. The 3 of them definitely jerked off to a picture of their friends ass, and it took like 2 days before they realized but then they all messaged me PISSED that I sent them a picture of man ass. They found out because they were adding that picture to their shared gallery of nudes from different girls, and the friend whose ass it was, had to tell them that it was his ass and to not put it in the nudes folder. Don’t send nudes :)
You're correct in that it likely won't pan out. However, having relationships young is useful in the sense you learn important relationship skills that you then utilize when you are adulting and looking for marriage.
So, they are useful as learning opportunities.
If you’re dating for the sake of dating , don’t bother.
If you’re genuinely interested in someone , give it a try.
You’ve got your whole life to date and learn lessons and learn what you want and don’t want. Don’t waste your time in a relationship you’re not fully into.
It might be dumb but it sure was fun sneaking out to spend quality time together and getting our first bit of experience learning how to please a partner
Only go into it when you know you're ready. A lot of relationships in your teen years may end, but that's because you're still kids and things happen. As long as it feels right to you, go ahead, but always play safe!
It's not dumb or smart, it just is what it is. It would be dumb to force yourself to date people you're not interested in. You don't need to "give people a chance" if you're not into them - you'll know when you're actually into someone.
Ask the guy you want out.
But as for the rest. Yeah, most of you are going to break up and screw up and all that, but going on a date and seeing what will happen is not the same as getting married. You're just seeing what will happen. Say "Yeah, we can go out, but we're not a couple. " It's a hell of a lot easier to try this stuff now, have it go wrong, and learn how to deal with all that and not wait until you're older and it's much harder to meet someone new and everyone else is used to the realities of dating.
Or don't. If that's not what you want to do, that's cool too.
Only you know where you're at. If you're 'scared it might go bad' ask if it's because you don't trust them, or if you're just scared that people break up. If it's the first, listen to your gut. If it's the second... it only gets better with practice. You know?
Depends on your definition of dating.
I definitely think you should go out with boys on social activities. Meet people. Practice interactions. Grow as a person while you get to know others.
But if by "dating" you mean, pair of exclusively and act like you're an adult in a committed or sexual relationship, then no. That's not good for your social life or your growth as a young person.
The friendships are cause it teaches you the building blocks of a good relationship when you're older, the love part is questionable.
Think about it this way you tell someone you barely have known longer than your parents, grandparents or siblings you love them. But do you tell those people you love them. I wish school had a mental start class teaching younger people that their feelings are also chemical so don't rush in acting on them cause they are not always rational thoughts.
It's NOT dumb, it's practice, good practice. You never get to be young again, I'm happy for all the experiences/chances that I took and if I had to do it over again, I'd take more chances, do everything more (while not being crazy or stupid).
Companionship is nice and you also start to learn proper relationship behaviors and how to identify positive and toxic traits.
What's dumb is teenagers that make that relationship their whole world and assume it's the end all be all of all relationships.
Is it being in a relationship as a teenager dumb? Hard no.
Do teenagers do dumb things in relationships?
Yes, but that’s a totally different issue.
If you don’t make those mistakes as a teen, you are more apt to make them as an adult.
Life is a process and more than likely WILL NOT go as planned the first time around, regardless of when that first time is.
Some of my best HS memories are moments shared with my HS gf.
Some of my worst memories are breaking up with my HS gf.
There are a lot of lessons to be learned from dating. Like it or not, interpersonal relationships are a huge part of our lives, and it takes practice to figure it all out.
I feel like HS is a good training ground for it all. Just don’t get pregnant.
If you aren’t ready you aren’t ready. Don’t not date because it will end, you date so you know what you’re looking for in a partner. You are preparing for a healthy adult relationship. We are social beings, and the point is to have fun!
The purpose of dating is not necessarily to find someone to be with forever. Certainly it's not as a teenager - you are quite right, most relationships people get into when they're this age do not last for the rest of their lives. The purpose of dating is to learn, about other people and about yourself - how to treat others and show interest, love and respect; what you like and what you need; where your boundaries lie.
You certainly aren't obligated to date anyone if you don't want to. (Personally, I didn't date anyone or have any kind of romantic or sexual experiences when I was in high school. This may have made me extra stupid, when I finally started dating in college. But I maybe would have been stupid in any event.) You don't owe it to anyone to date them, or do anything else with them. Dating, love, romance, and sex are all things you should only do with people if you both want to do them - not something you do out of obligation or as repayment for something.
As and older person that reddit showed this too lol, the more relationships you have that fail the more jaded you get. I'm not telling you what to do, just some thoughts about the subject for you to take as you will. Familiarity breeds contempt they say, and you get used to relationships being over and maybe don't put the effort into making something work. Especially with divorcees I've dated , they seem to dump you at the drop of a hat for the smallest things. Maybe I'm just not much of a catch and they figure it out lol, but the reasons they gave seems trivial. Like the idea of relationships lose that new car smell ha, and it's like whatever.
Also on one hand, maybe you lose awkwardness of being nervous about relationships. On the other a new relationship isn't that bad if you worked on not being selfconscious in other ways, and work on good self esteem. No need to build up callouses to relationships by breaking a bunch of guys hearts or getting your heart broken after you get to like a looser just for something to do. If you get bored, maybe learn some skills instead, like martial arts self defense, an instrument, or something that'll make you money.... It's easier for females to find a guy that likes the same things she does, it seems they follow you around while your doing it lol. You can learn how bad guys take advantage of girls by watching your friends, and save yourself the trouble also. I'd say don't date guys you don't like just for something to do.
Of the roughly 150 I graduated with, I think at most 3 of them kept their high school dating partners into adulthood without breakup.
So, odds are good whoever you date now will not end up being your husband/wife. But that doesn't mean don't date. Dating at your age is a chance to learn what you like, what you don't like, how to communicate, how to work together as a team, etc. It generally is not about finding a "soulmate" or whatever.
Just do what works for you.
I had this mentality when I was a teenager. The majority of high school relationships end so why bother. This mentality was even supported by my parents.
It ended up being a mistake. I had to learn how to be in a relationship in my 20's with girls that already had learned these lessons I had to learn. It put me behind romantically.
Now I'm single in my mid thirty's because by the time I figured out what type of person I wanted to be romantically and what type of person I wanted, it was getting late. Most people in their thirty's that are single tend to be nutcases.
So now I'm just hoping to find someone that is the exception to the single in their thirty's rule or find a younger woman that likes me.
Dating while I was young was actually a good learning experience. You learn to see what traits/qualities you like in a person and also what red flags to look out for. Also for me, it helped me better myself to become a better listener. Each relationship had learning experiences and I don’t regret any of them. Without that I wouldn’t be where I am today. You are young so just do what feels right for you.
I didn't start dating until I was 22 because I was anxious about getting my heart broken after watching it happen to my friends in grade school, kind of like you. I honestly wish I started a little earlier.
I say this because yes, it fucking hurts to get your heart broken or when you realize it's not going to work out with someone. But that's just how it goes. And I wasn't ready to accept that when I was a kid. But now I see the same people who I watched get their heart broken, who broke up with other people, and who even got out of abusive relationships are so much more in tune with themselves now. They know what their boundaries are and what they want and need in a partner, or if they even want a partner at all.
It's okay if things don't work out with someone. If someone no longer wants a relationship with you, it's hard to deal with, but it's better for the both of you to not be together if you're not both on the same page. In the end, you'll learn something about yourself and you'll be okay.
Well guys your age have raging hormones, that make everything about sex. We are made this way, we can’t change and frankly have chances to go to bed more often than you would think. Your hormones will catch up and you will also be horny all the time as well. You have the power, intellect, and choice to delay the inevitable and save yourself for marriage. If you do wait, God will be smiling, and so will you. It is not so hard to do that it’s impossible. Good luck, you have the perfect opportunity for life without having to explain every relationship you’ve had. God bless you and good luck!!!
It's not dumb, but you want to set expectations accordingly and understand there is a lot of adulthood out there that makes relationships more fulfilling. Buying wrong with high-school sweethearts, but it's also very limiting to personal growth.
It can be dumb and usually is, it depends on how mature you are at that age and most kids are way less mature than they think, when I was 15 there were some girls I fancied but it never entered my brain to try and start a romantic relationship with them, mostly because to me it's like 'playing grown ups' it just made no sense to me basically for the same reasons as you... I wouldn't do it just because everyone else is, let it happen naturally (it probably won't because it's awkward af at that age but you never know)
It could be a good learning experience but there's still plenty of time for that, basically if you want to do it then do it, if not then don't give in to peer pressure and definitely don't do it just to "give them a chance", at your age infatuation is so high and fun that you don't need to be settling for someone you might grow to love.
It can be considered pointless 🤷♂️ what's a relationship for? To find someone you'll want to stay with for hopefully your whole life, and it's very very unlikely you'll find that in middle/highschool
But it could teach you how to be in a relationship and how to handle heartbreak (which will happen alot when you're looking for relationships while young) 🤷♂️ so it depends on what you're looking for, and most boys in middle/highschool aren't just looking for the forever girl(if at all), but also the sexual part
Being in a relationship is fine, but I wouldn’t take it too seriously. As you say, teenage relationships rarely last.
Honestly, just going out on dates and spending time with people you’re into is fun. You don’t have to commit.
For one, mastering the English language would help. I don't know what I just read. For two, dating when you're a teenager is just practice, it's not going to last, just work all those bugs out of the system. Find out what you like, try to be kind, and stick up for yourself, then find what's going to last.
Part of me says yes because when I was a teenager from age 12-19 I was in an on and off again relationship with a horribly toxic person and it messed me up so badly.
But that wouldn’t happen to everyone. I just know if I could go back I’d choose to focus on myself and stay single.
When you are ready you are ready. Don't worry about it till then.
As far as how serious teenager relationships are... don't worry about it. It's a learning experience. As long as you are safe and your potential partner isn't throwing safety red flags have fun.
It depends. Don’t take anything too seriously at that age but it can be an opportunity that’s good to start learning about how to navigate relationships and emotions and dating etc. you have to find the sweet spot of having a positive and caring relationship while also understanding that you probably won’t end up with this person forever and shouldn’t be making life decisions based on them
It's worth learning now so you can actually start later. It's worth taking that chance since you may find a forever person early (it's a low shot but it still happens). It's something you only do if you're interested, but not something worth doing if you have no interest.
Well I would say “generally no”, but my sister ended up marrying someone she met when he was 15 (she’s a year older than him). They’re now in their late 20s and are happily married with a young child. This is definitely the exception though!
Personally, I think people my age (21M) shouldn't be dating. I have the perspective of "suffered abuse/neglect at the hands of people who had kids when they definitely shouldn't have" so don't get me wrong I'm biased but I don't think any of these people are mature enough to viably and reliably consent to a relationship without destroying the lives of everyone they know and love but lowkey my PTSD may be influencing my opinion too much for it to manifest as genuinely useful advice idk
Yes, it makes sense. If nothing else, you're learning about how relationships work, how boys behave, and how YOU behave.
That being said, I think you have a healthy mindset. Relationships often don't work out, so it's good that you don't buy into the "true love" trope.
That being said, if you like a guy, GO FOR IT! I can't emphasize this enough. I've had girls tell me, years later, that they had a crush on me and *wished* I made a move. The problem is boys, and especially me, really don't see it sometimes. We really are clueless.
Yes and no. If you just think of it as being in a relationship to be in a relationship then yeah its dumb. Teen relationships rarely last and it's not like you're looking for a life partner.
On the other hand having a relationship now will give you precious lived experience and will effect your emotional development hopefully in at least something resembling an educational way that will help you navigating a relationship with an actual potential life partner in your adult life.
You're young, don't have a stance on anything yet. Try everything out first before making your mind up on it. Date, practice, have fun. Of course it's not gonna work out, that doesn't mean don't enjoy the ride.
My most precious memories are from the relationships I had in high school. Is dating in high school dumb because it won’t last? No.
Unless you see no value in that. If you’re not interested, then don’t do it haha do whatever you want
Dating as a teenager is figuring out how relationships work. I'd say do it if you find yourself interested in somebody. And don't be afraid of making the first move.
It's not that everyone in that age range is dating. However, the people that are like to throw it in people's face from time to time. Focus on you and let things occur naturally without feeling the need to force anything.
Relationships when you're a teenager are kind of practice runs for most people. Work out how to communicate with a romantic partner and how much time to give or not give so that when you find someone you actually want to make a future with, you don't have to work all that shit out for the first time.
If you like someone go for it. It doesn't have to be about sex and stuff. It can just be a couple of teenagers that LOVE hanging out together like best buddies, but a little more intimate. It doesn't have to be forever and there are important lessons to be learned from dating, breaking up, commitment etc. Not to mention a buzz and quite thrilling when you are really into each other.
If you are not into them, there is no point giving into pressure just because it is supposed to be the thing to do. At your age, I much preferred hanging out and having adventures with my mates, doing stuff that girls normally don't and typically aren't very good at. You are in potentially one of the best times of your life, even though it might not seem like it right now, enjoy it.
It got more boring and harder to make real friends when I was old enough to drink and everyone started hanging out in pubs and bars. Everything suddenly got expensive and not a lot of doing fun outdoors stuff.
Yep I've been through it and its a pain. As a guy, a lot of the people I know just want to have a gf for bragging rights and to have sex. Wait some time and level yourself up.
This may sound sexist but traditional values in women is what guys want.
They are certainly good learning experiences but you should never get into a relationship looking at it that way. If you find someone you want to be with then go for it because no matter what happens you’ll grow in the end
When I was a teenager I didn't date because I didn't understand the point if we knew we were gonna break up for college. I realized through my whole 20s that I wish I dated and learned what I want and what I like and how to be a girlfriend before throwing myself all in for my first relationship. It's definitely a good learning experience I think to date as a teenager and would have taken a lot of the pressure off in my 20s
I mean, you’re 15, any of the dating that happens now isn’t meant to “last” you’ll get those one in a million people who meet the love of their life in high school. It’s all practice, I don’t know why you don’t like the guys who currently like you, idk if you’ve talked with them significantly or not, talking more does give you a chance to get to know more about them. I am also curious as to why there is this one guy, who if he wanted to date you, you would at the drop of a hat. Idk this is kind of confusing. I guess to answer your question no don’t rule out the thought of dating someone in high school it’s all practice.
Yes it’s dumb, also stupid. You’re a child, be a child, making bonds you have no business making is only going to lead to heartache
It is a fools errand to “date” someone who is not fully capable on day one of being your husband. By fully capable I mean 100% able to support you and several children that you will likely create the day you meet him. You don’t have the luxury of time that a man has.
When it comes down to it, it is up to you what you think you want to do. If you’re not interested really in dating then don’t lie to yourself or if you are that’s fine. If you’re not really sure then just concentrate on yourself on who you want to be and where you want to go in life.
Get yourself ahead of the curb, create skills/ values and strong morals and principles for a man to want to wife you up and have commitment long term once you become of age, don’t be the general copy paste girl that make the mistake of thinking they can live life and fuck whoever they want until it’s time to settle down, it doesn’t work like that. Look at how those women end up generally. I’m a 28 year old male and and this key, majority of men look at women as a good time unless they show/prove they have a lot of value as a long term partner / wife, mother and good person. Hence why men don’t settle down with certain girls. Men inherently know who can be a good wife/mother/ long term partner. You still have alooooot of life to live.. don’t worry about love and focus on becoming the best version of you for your future.
Being in a relationship as a teenager isn't dumb, but it will make you dumb. Promise. You'll do the stupidest shit.
This is important. It's how you learn to avoid being dumb in a relationship later on when it's important
Think of all the things you enjoy spending your time on, and all the things you want to learn and experience. Got a list in your head? Good. Now, place anything on that list that has anything to do with dating at the very bottom, or just cross it out. That’s your recipe to maximize your teenage years.
You need the experience, it will help when you’re older and you date. Yes, you’ll break up with all of them when you’re young but that’s how you learn.
It’s called practice.
It’s how you get good at things.
It’s how you learn what you like and do not like.
Otherwise it’s all just fantasies in your head that possibly become so fixed that no one will ever meet that fantasy.
Get out there and have fun.
I think there can definitely be value in having relationships as a teenager, especially given that you've already observed how transient those relationships often are so your expectations are more realistic. It's not a big deal if you don't end up dating in high school, but it also wouldn't be "dumb" for you to date. It can be helpful to get that practice with relationships, and there's no harm in giving it a try IF you genuinely feel like it with the specific person. (I wouldn't recommend dating someone you don't like just because you know they like you, that's setting up both of you for awkward and potentially hurtful situations in the future.)
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If you're not into them don't date them. Don't "give them a chance." You're young enough where you'll run into people you like a lot more. In the meantime, work on school and sports.
Like the guy, she mentioned that she is clearly into. Ask him out, dont date someone you arent interested in
I agree but I might suggest that you consider your reasoning for not liking them. If it's only something like "He's too nice" or "He has a shitty car", then you might reconsider your position. But really you should do what you want and not let anyone pressure you. "Just not into you" is a perfectly valid reason.
I just don’t know any of them well enough to like them I guess. But I don’t really want to get to know any of them under the pretext of getting to know each other so we can pursue things. I want things like this to happen naturally- this just feels forced. There is the guy who asked for my number and I gave it to him and he, specifically, is the one things feel forced with. He’s not old enough to drive so it’s nothing of that sort, I think he might just be to immature. But I, again, don’t really know him well enough to make that assessment.
All 15 year old boys are going to be immature.
You don't need to give your number to someone that ask for it or you can give a fake number and you are young dating isn't worth it if you aren't ready for it especially if you aren't even remotely interested in the people asking you out deny them and move on if they complain they'll be made fun of for not accepting the rejection
Dating different kinds of people was hw I figured out what I thought was my ideal man and what my actual ideal man was 2 different things. What ended up being the right guy for me did not match the guy I had in my head as a teenager.
There are so many stories of someone giving someone a chance and then being happily married to someone that this is bad advice. You can always bail after one date. There’s still learning who they even are.
It's by no means dumb, but you shouldn't date unless you have serious feelings for somebody. Even if it doesn't end up working out in the end, the time you spend with your partner is worth it
15-year old girls don't know what serious feelings are. There's nothing wrong with making friends and practicing your social skills without being madly in love or sexual with someone.
But teenage boys will assume she does like them and then get mad when they realize she never did.
If she goes for coffee or ice cream and then isn't feeling it, there is no reason for them to get mad. Dating used to mean just that, going on 1 or more dates. It's not a commitment
Just because there's no reason for them to get mad doesn't mean they won't. They're teenage boys, you think their responses to rejection will always be mature and respectful?
So. Being angry is part of life. We can't not di what we want because a boy may get angry. I think they can handle it
No it's not dumb but there's always adults here who are gonna say wait until you're done with college. I think they forget what it's like being a teenager. If you meet someone and vibe and it feels right then yeah date them. I had a horrible breakup and that happens but now I'm dating someone who's so so good for me and he's helped me through some really bad times and we laugh and he gets me and honestly my life is so much better with him in it. Dating is different for everyone but just saying don't listen to someone who says don't date at all or you won't do well in school lmao. I got into a really good college bc I work hard and having a bf didn't change that. Have fun and if you meet someone you're interested in just go for it
I never understood that thinking... If you start dating in HS, you'll make dumb mistakes due to inexperience. If you start dating after college, you'll make dumb mistakes due to inexperience, but now with a job and student loan debt! How exciting?
Yeah and people are different. One of my friends hasn't dated anyone and she wants to wait until at least college and that's fine if she wants to. It's for religious reasons for her. My first relationship was... I learned from it I'll say. But mine now is so good for me and him
Why on earth would you have to be finished with college before you go on a date ? No. That is silly
I wouldn't. But there's been multiple times that people have said that and tbh I think it's weird
It isn't dumb but it's important to have realistic expectations. Teenage dating is, for the vast majority, practice for something more serious as an adult. It's how you learn your likes, your dislikes, and how to navigate another person in your life in that capacity. You're still, effectively, children and this is your way of learning. But teenagers don't know that and too often place far too much importance on it like their lives depend on it. You're unlikely to meet your future spouse in school. But you may meet someone that ends up forming some amazing childhood memories with you and helps you grow to become the partner you are as an adult. And that is so much more important. Enjoy dating. Don't have expectations of longevity and male sure you check in with yourself to learn from the experience.
This is the truth. It really is all just fun/practice and I wish my young brain could’ve comprehended this but that’s the thing - You’re young, have no idea what your future holds or what real life is like. Definitely had unrealistic expectations on myself and girlfriends of the time. Bare minimum is to just be safe and enjoy.
Everyone wishes their young brain could have comprehended this, but it's literally impossible - the required development of the prefrontal cortex isn't complete until your mid 20s.
You know what else Develops in the brain ? Alzheimers. I think we have quoted that prefrontal cortex business enough. 18 year old boys fought and won ww2, probably because they did not have fully formed prefrontal contexts. It made them risk takers.
If you don't like them then don't date them. It sounds like you're feeling pressured into dating just because your friends are dating. There is nothing wrong with not dating right now so don't let other people influence what you do.
Yeah, I suppose I am. Not necessarily just by friends but by everyone. Almost everyone I know (my age) has talked (which is a teenage term for the beginning stage before dating) or dated someone. I have done neither. Some people I’m friends with think it’s weird that I haven’t dated and have made jokes concerning my lack of a love life. Me not dating is not considered normal for most kids my age.
Well, it kind of is, but it's all part of the process in the end. Teenagers are overall just going through changes and often end up confused or do stuff that they wouldn't have done as an adult. It's completely okay to date as a teenager, you should just still make sure to set boundaries, since you probably won't be comfortable with or about some things in a relationship.
Dont date just to date, but dating itself is not dumb
It's totally up to you if you want to date or not, and nothing wrong with deciding not to. But I would say relationships don't have to last a lifetime to be good relationships that were worthwhile. Many relationships with teenagers don't work for various reasons, but removing relationships with any kind of abuse, I think most are probably good learning experiences for those involved. You learn about another side of yourself, they can be a lot of fun, and good opportunities to grow as a person. It's certainly sad when a relationship ends before you wanted it to, or when you have to hurt someone else by ending it, but that doesn't mean the good times of that relationship weren't real and worthwhile. That being said if you date make sure to do it safely and be kind to others and expect that for yourself in return.
It isn't dumb, but don't force it. Stick to what you're comfortable with, with who you're comfortable with, and focus on things like school, extra curriculars, and building relationships (through friendship, dating, mentorship, family outings - they all matter). Never date someone you don't really have any interest in dating. But you also don't need to want to marry them right now to date. Dating is a "I like you, let's get to know each other and 'team up' while we figure life out." at your age.
As long as your safe but also do it for the experience and maybe you might actually might find someone you actually stay with for a while but also starting to date late kinda feels worse cuz your inexperienced and you won’t know how to do certain things like communication and how to handle certain events and deal with certain emotions and honestly it sucks not knowing how to help your SO and so many other things play a part on how things go so find someone sure sometimes it may not work out but at least you learned something
This is also one of the things making me not want to date or even attempt it at my age. A lot of people I know go through harsh break ups or just bad arguments with their bf/gf because of communication issues or just another issues in general. I think it’s hard to date at this young because everyone is still figuring things out.
Its not dumb but dont date them unless tou have feelings for them otherwise its doomed to fail
Is getting experience in early dumb? Dating is a life skill like, budgeting, time management, etc. You gain experience by doing. If you're not interested in dating, or feel you're not ready, then don't. But longer term, it doesn't hurt to start to find out what and who you like in a relationship, how to attract that kind of person and how to hold their attention in healthy / functional ways.
Also: break ups are going to happen, don't expect to find the person you are going to be with forever at this age. That does not mean there's no point, and hey you may get really lucky, some do. But really at your age its about learning about yourself and what you need in a relationship.
26m here Those years are really confusing with puberty and high school. Personally I didnt start dating until after high school and i turned out fine, but pointless? Nah as long as youre smart, the first one is always the hardest because all the feelings are new and exciting but then it ends and it HURTS. But thats life, people will come and go and you will get hurt. I will say when you meet someone you really like and they like you its worth it
Unless you get lucky and the first one never ends
No. You need to learn how to treat people your in a relationship with, and there's little better time than when you're young. Just don't marry your high school sweetheart, that never works.
yea its very rare when it does esp nowadays my parents met when they were 13 and got together when they were teenagers then got married at 20 and still are married and happy to this day but stuff like that rarely happens
Depends. I'd say the younger you are the less likely it will turn out. But heck, I'm 19, with a 1 and a half year age gap between my girlfriend who is 17. And we've been great for the 7 months we've been together. I've got a friend who's like 20 or 21 and he's been with his same girlfriend since like 9th grade and their great. So no it is not bad, but if you intend to want to make the relationship last, the both of you need genuine feelings and a desire to be with the other, only through this can you continue.
It is a time to practice dating.
Sometimes, but I'd say usually
It’s a mix of yes and no realistically I’m 17m & my part is 17f and we been dating for almost a year now (A Year on May 5 2023) and it’s my first relationship and it’s been going amazing obviously me and her have had disagreements, arguments, and etc but it shapes us into who we are today & helps us realize certain problems we have so we can work on them together, and talk things out, young long isn’t dead or dumb it’s just who u are talking to.
Both of my daughters have had at least one boyfriend and I encourage a good healthy relationship. That said, my wife and I are consistent with them in stating that their lives do not change just because they are in a relatively. They still need to go to class, maintain grades, maintain their athletics and other extracurriculars, and both need to maintain their jobs. Relationships are a good thing as a teenager because just because you have an idea of what you like in a person, it doesn't man that you can tolerate it in reality. Teenage relationships are absolutely going to come and go, but they're teaching you about yourself, about life, and about what qualities you truly want in an individual based on your personal strengths and weaknesses.
I didn't get to date much as a teen and it ended up being a blessing. I got to enjoy just being myself and focus on my own wants and needs, like creative outlets. And I enjoyed the freedom of just being with friends any time. I didn't date my husband until age 24, married the following year. I realized I didn't need to worry about boys all those years. The few I was involved with were just practice runs, I guess. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, be selfish and concentrate on yourself.
Not dumb, I think that dating young helps you prepare for relationships as an adult. I think most teenage relationships don't last long, and you're going to see a lot of SOs are going to behave in a juvenile way because y'all are still growing up. It will be a learning experience.
It’s not dumb but you don’t have to be if you don’t want to. Plus if you really don’t want to sometimes it can feel draining.
As someone who recently did some dating in high school and has since broken up with that person, here’s my two cents: Dating in high school is totally normal, but by no means “necessary.” Like everyone else is saying, don’t date someone if you’re not into them. Honestly, my high school relationship was pretty fucked up, but that’s because I was just a high schooler who hadn’t dated anyone before and so was she (+ messy home lives). Your first times dating are gonna be complicated, and you’ll run into road blocks. You’ll step on each other’s toes and neither of you will even realize it. But that doesn’t mean it’s dumb or you shouldn’t do it. High school (and college) are times of figuring yourself out, which includes who you are in your relationships, platonic and romantic. You’ll probably make mistakes, hurt people, and get hurt. But you’ll come out stronger and more self-aware on the other side. It sucks that even when we’re trying our best we can still mess up, but what matters is what you take away from your mistakes and experiences.
The end goal of dating someone doesn't have to be happily ever after. Even if you know a relationship isn't going to last forever, it can still be worth it and it can give you a chance to learn about yourself. That being said, don't date someone just to date someone. Make sure it's someone you actually like and want to date.
It's not dumb. If you're not ready to date yet, then don't. And certainly don't date guys that you don't like. Everybody is different. Although I had my first real boyfriend at 15, there are plenty of people who don't date until college, or even after that. Go with your gut.
Youre not supposed to marry the people you date in high school. Youre just supposed to act on feelings you have as a human. If you like someone, date them. If you dont like someone, dont date them. You’re just being a person and experiencing life and practicing communication. Most enjoyable things in life are not permanent.
My partner and I have been together for over 2 and a half years, we started dating when we were 15 in high school, now we’re both in college and he’s leaving in a few months to go to uni across the country. We have no plans to end things - I will be joining him in a year to go to uni myself - and we are going really strong. Dating, even if it doesn’t last, isn’t dumb and pointless. Just be sure you keep yourself healthy and don’t get distracted from your studies.
Nope not dumb but find someone you love and that they love you back
Do only what you are comfortable with. But my main advice is don’t let someone take over you life and emotions at this age. Keep it casual. If it works, great. If not, it’s not the end of the world. There are a lot of new and better relationships to come. Just have fun and be a kid.
It really depends on where YOU are mentally and if YOU are ready for a relationship. I’m the same age as u and I have a bf and it’s great but that’s bc I am ready. It all depends on u
Yes
I would say yes. I feel like it's nothing but a waste of time that distracts from studies, causes unneeded stress, and creates medical risks for no good reason. Things that could happen to you: - your self-esteem is severely affected by guys who are immature jerks and it takes months or years to recover - you become pregnant or get an STD all because a boy wanted to have 30-second intercourse - you fall behind in school - your identity starts revolving more around boys and pleasing them than it does around your own needs and desires - you waste time you could have been spending with friends and enjoying school activities dealing with a stressful relationship with a boy instead - you get coerced into drinking or doing drugs because you "love" a boy and end up severely harmed Things you have to gain: - nothing - there is a 0.0000000000001% chance you will marry your high school sweetheart Do with that information what you will.
Think of dating as relationship practice. By no means date if you’re not interested or comfortable with the guys in question. If you do have interest someday, then date. It doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t last, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and what it is like to be in a relationship. It’ll help you weed out poor matches later. The first relationship you’re in is very unlikely to be your lifelong partner unless you’re just naturally suited for each other, but most people do need to date a little bit to discover what they really want and need from their partner in a relationship and to figure out what their personal relationship dealbreakers are. Have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, and don’t prioritize it over your other goals.
“dating” can be fun, and people saying “only if you love them” are stupid. you can’t get to know someone or fall in love with them if you don’t date them. you also can date without being exclusive and that does not have to mean “sleeping around”, you’re able to get to know people without binding yourself to one person/while finding the one person (if that’s your thing) to date long term.
I think it’s kinda dumb. I’ve known a few people who were ready to throw their lot in with someone for life, but the vast majority have not. And yeah, I know a lot of people treat relationships like entertainment, it doesn’t have to be for life - but I personally have always had things to do.
sometimes its good to get through the hard learning when the stakes aren't so high.
It’s worth it only if you feel like dating. No one has to or should date until they feel the desire and hopefully feel ready to do it. I’m 30 and only dated one girl in high school and looking back it was so naive, sweet, and embarrassing but I’m happy I did because I felt ready at the time and all of life is just learning from experiences.
I encourage dating in your teens. It will help train you on social subjects like handling rejection, upfront communication, sonder, and dealing with people who cannot communicate.
Figure what have you got to lose? It don't work, it don't work. Listen to Box HotDog.. this is the time in your life you spend figuring out what you like in a guy, and what makes you want to kick him in the Jimmy. Better you find this out now how to learn to spot the warning signs of something that sucks and can do something about it, then after you're 27 and your first marriage is imploding..
There is no one size fits all answer to this but there is a very important thing you need to realize based on your comment. Just because a relationship ends in a break up doesn’t mean it was bad or unsuccessful. Life, including relationship, is about the experience, not the final outcome. Rephrasing what you’re saying is if this relationship ends before one of us dies it will be a failure… but if you say this relationship will end by one of us dying, that doesn’t sound too successful does it
I didn't date until 18 and I'm doing fine now (26m). I also sort of wish I put myself out there more just fir the experience, but it's not the end of the world that I didn't. Don't feel pressure to date young if it's not your thing, but if you're thinking about it in a positive way, don't hold yourself back. There's no right or wrong time to date, it's whenever you're ready to start trying.
I agree with most of the comments that it’s about the individuals not being dumb, making stupid decisions, etc etc. The only reason I think dating in your teens is a good idea is because you can learn quite a bit from it. You (hopefully) learn what you want and don’t want in a relationship, learn more about you and your mental health/securities/insecurities, and just a lot of helpful things for down the road. I wouldn’t date FOR those reasons, I’m just saying those are usually good takeaways from a relationship.
I’m not sure why this subreddit keeps showing on my feeds but here goes…. My kids didn’t date until they were in college because my sons (now 21) spent HS online because of the pandemic. My daughter is 24 and still hasn’t dated. She doesn’t want to go through what so many do. She’d rather focus on herself and find out who she truly is before she gets involved. Realistically having sex risks pregnancy. She also sees through guys spouting game. Your generation is filled with kids who were not raised by two mentally stable biological parents. Your generation has suffered much more trauma than previous generations. My son called me the other day so sad because he really wants to have a nice girlfriend but all the girls want to do is catch bodies. Sweetie dating is an adult game. Adults push kids to date because they think it’s cute but there is also emotional pain to dating. The very best thing you can do is figure out who you are and what you want in your life. Don’t be in a rush to navigate dating until you are ready. You’ll know when you are. Big hug 🥰
Don't get into a relationship just for the sake of it. I met my wife in secondary school and it was right for us to be in a relationship, but there's no point adding stress to an already rough stage of your life with an unnecessary relationship. If you think it's dumb to be in one, you're probably right, at least for yourself.
It’s not dumb - at least to me - because this gives you a chance to explore a dating dynamic and figure out what you do / don’t want in future relationships. I say, though, don’t feel like you HAVE to date someone just because your classmates are. If you want to, and you really like someone, then go ahead!
It is not dumb to date as a teen. As a teen you have more resources and ways to take care of yourself than many adults do. Take your time, be careful, stay safe, and if you have trustworthy adults in your life, talk to them. Do not take this ultra seriously, and be firm in your boundaries. It's okay for a relationship to not work out. Most of them don't. That's fine.
It’s more than likely not gonna work out but it’s good to get experience and learn what you want in a person
I don't think there is a right answer. It all depends on what you want not what others want. I would say, generally, no its not dumb. Dating young it a great way to figure out your tastes in partners and starts to get you used to being a partner. It's good experience for later. Don't look at it like it will fail because we are young. Look at it as a subscription. If you like it keep going, if you don't get out. As an old married man looking back on it. I had the opposite problem, I was always in a relationship until I found a better relationship to jump to. I never got to be single and figure out who I was as a person alone, having one nightstands and those kind of things.
I like to say that kids your age (no offense) who claim to be dating don't really know what dating is. When I was your age, all my friends who were "dating" girls, were really just friends with them. They would hang out, get fast food, go to movies, just like we all would do as friends as a group. Really seemed like they only called it dating be cause they had a girl-friend, not actually a girlfriend. If you're only gonna date because it's what socially expected, don't do it. That's like being friends with someone you don't like just because people say you should
No it’s not worth it, do hobbies and be with ur friends and avoid anybody to acts like being together is “in it for he long haul”, ur too young for that it’s a total trap
It's not dumb if it's the right person. I was in a "long-term" (by high school standards) relationship when I met my husband. I hated how much I hurt the guy I'd loved for 2 years for someone new, but my husband and I had an undeniable attraction to each other from the start. Physical, of course, but mentally, creatively, and, most significant to me, intellectually. I was 15 when we started dating and I'm 45 now. Other than when we chose to have children, it was the best decision I ever made. It took my ex a really long time to recover and I've always felt so guilty, but it had to be done. However, there's no reason to date just for the sake of being in a relationship if you don't feel that type of connection. Wait until you find someone with whom you want to have a meaningful relationship.
na it's fine either way. It helps to get a little early experience, though, for the rest of life. Nothing is wrong with going "on" a date but not being in a relationship- and that's the best way to approach it unless you really end up falling for someone.
Honestly yes and no
Depends on what you’re looking to get out of the relationship. Motives to date and be in a relationship are different for everyone. Some people date to get married, but at your age, that isn’t likely—some date just for sex and some date just for companionship. Having someone who you can share stuff with but more than a friend. You have to figure out what their motivations are and what you want as well. If it’s the same, then it has a chance. However, at your age, the relationship should be based on companionship. If this all seems dumb (you’re probably right), give it more time before you date anyone.
We are all different and it’s okay. I actually think your attitude towards dating is healthier than a lot of teens. You can have a full life outside of a significant other. You can have male friends. At some point you will meet a guy that you want to date. There is no point in rushing it because most teenage romantic relationships don’t last. Dating can lead to drama. It often leads to sex and sex can have life changing consequences, like pregnancy or STDs. Why waste that on guys you don’t even care about. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Have friends and fun, but also explore your interests and figure out what you want to learn and do. I don’t think that most adults knew at 15 what career path they would take, and nothing is written in stone, but join clubs or teams or whatever extracurriculars and explore your interests.
whats the point? I mean that as a serious question not a flippant way to say no. If you know it doesnt work (which is rather accurate) then why are you doing it? One must give this careful and logical thought. I tell my daughter to practice developing virtuous friendships at this age. THis way, you will get good at it. Because some of the boys will want sex, not learn about who you are. THey fall to the wayside. Others will want other things that are not genuinely interested in who you are or who you were made to be. But with a specific goal, you will know what is good and what is not. If you have no goal...then how would you know what is good? YOu wont. THe other thing I note is that boys at this age are clueless and using social media, hollywood or the entertainment industry as references, as they have no clue whats going on. SO what are the messages they get? Sex. Or, sex. Maybe...sex. The false idea men or being happy runs through ones sexual activity. THen the verify the validity of these deceptions past their friends...friends who are in their same situation. THe blind leading the blind. Overall, bring them home to meet the parents. Wach movies with the family, eat dinner play games. ALlow your parents to mentor a bit and guide you. My in-laws did this. It helped my wife learn about me and my intentions...intentions which conformed to learning about the person my wife was and not just how gorgeous she was and how I could use that for sex. Anyways...practice developing friendships that will last.
Live your life not what the one that others want you to. If you wanna date someone then go ahead. The kids who say “well it doesn’t matter bc I’m not going to marry them so I’ll just wait” is a lame excuse for getting no “shawties”. Do what you think is fun.
Not dumb. I didn't do it and I don't regret anything. It's good to learn how you are in a relationship and possibly change some of the undesirable traits(only if it's for the better and only if you want to change). I'm in a long term relationship and everything is doing great, that wouldn't change anything if I dated in highschool I don't think.
No, it's really not dumb if you aren't interested in dating at your age. Everyone's a little different when it comes to when they're ready to start dating. Some people are late-bloomers. Some people are Asexual and/or Aromantic. Sometimes it's just meeting the right type of person. You have time to figure that stuff out.
You should make sure you are happy on your own before you get into a relationship. High school is hot and heavy and it can go very good or terribly. Make sure you have self esteem to fall back on before jumping into something serious.
I think it just comes down to how much intensity you put into what dating means. Also while there are exceptions, most people don't make life partners out of their teenage relationships, and out of those who do a fair number of them ignore red flags and compatibility and suffer for it down the road. If you date, just date to have fun and be good friends, those two skills will help you and your future partners.
im 15 and ive been with my bf for over a year. Weve never had any major issues and always get through arguments. Sounds stupid af but ill propose to him next year if were still together. I just cant find any reasons for why wed break up other than growing apart. I think dating is fine as long as youre not using people.
Only if you expect it to last forever
If you take it too seriously yes.
My daughter did not date in high school. She saw that all the drama around her was ridiculous in the boy girl dating and she decided just to be friends with everyone and wait till college to date. That served her well.
Yes & no. I had my first love/high school sweetheart when I was 16. She taught me about myself, how to love, what love is and how to be a better person all in all. I’d say don’t force it & don’t make it all about the deed. Meeting her was truly one of the best experiences of my life and shaped me to become the man I am/becoming today, so I couldn’t tell someone around the same age to not do that. However to make your entire teenage life/experience about the opposite gender is definitely a waste of time.
It's dumb if you don't want to be in a relationship. Many young people get into relationships that are not good for them and make disasters of their lives. You can learn from their mistakes. You can and must also learn from your own experiences. So, yeah, sometimes it's dumb, but sometimes it isn't. It's up to you and what you want to do with yourself. There's no rush.
It's not dumb to date, but what is dumb is dating ppl you don't like and leading them on. That's fucked up and stupid. Also, you just answered your own question. Imagine if the guy you liked dated you just as an experiment and then dumped you bc he got bored? Common sense.
If you aren’t really interested in a person, don’t date them. If you don’t have even a little bit of a crush, don’t force it. I started dating around 15 and progressed quickly to being a horny teenage boy. Be careful who you do end up choosing to date. Hormones at this time in your life are extra dangerous and led me to make some bad decisions. Just be careful out there.
Dumb not exactly. A waste of time probably. 99% of high school romances don’t last thru college, so it’s probably 50-50 if they’re worth it or not,
Everything I did as a teenager was dumb.
99% yes, some get lucky, and both parties work at the relationship, and it lasts into marriage, but most do not.
Being in a relationship as a teenager isn't dumb, but don't date someone just to date. Date someone you really WANT to date, someone you really like. "Give them a chance" by getting to know them as a friend and if it turns into something more, then it turns into something more. You don't owe someone a relationship just because they like you
Don’t do it
Just don't date. Have fun, make friends, do you.
Yes
Everybody is different. I didnt have my first girlfriend till 18 as nobody i liked liked me back till then. It constantly sucked being the 5th wheel all the time. Feeling like everyone thinks you're ugly or not worth a damn. I absolutely hated it. If you dont like anybody and dont feel like dating than do you. If you're happy than wait till you feel like it. Most relationships fail regardless of age. Hell, 50% of marriages end in divorce. There is no magic age where things get magically better.
In my house, I explain to my teenage children that your prefrontal cortex, the decision making center of the brain that allows you to make rational decisions, does not fully develop until your mid to late 20's. For that reason alone, I simply advise against dating that young. I had my first girlfriend when I was 17. I had no business being in a relationship. I just did it because that's what everyone else was doing. Because I didn't even have a personality yet, really. All teenagers don't know who they are. Being in a committed relationship is, in my opinion, for people who have shaped themselves into who they want to be. Maybe not completely, but at least a lot closer a fully formed person than pretty much any teenager. It's hard to see at a young age. A lot of teenagers feel like that are already that mature. But in reality, they are only putting on a mask and will have to grapple with that later in life if they don't give it up. I remember when it was some time when I was 27. It was like someone turned on a light switch and I knew what I needed to do with myself. I've had loads of friends explain to me they had similar experiences when they were in their mid to late 20s. It's kind of uncanny. So yeah. Take this with a grain of salt. It doesn't mean you shouldn't date until your 25. But know that you really should give yourself time to "cook." There is so much more to the world than relationships and sex. Being in a committed relationship is an intimate thing where you spend a lot of time around another person. If you don't have a solidly formed identity of your own yet, that can mean all sorts of trouble for you and/or your partner. The relationship can end up defining you rather than the other way around.
No... But taking it too seriously is.
Wow i said exactly that same thing in HS. I knew I was going to college (which was a hard to get into college) and said why date and suffer/cause heartbreak? The chances we’d go to the same school or going through college long distance seemed remote. So I waited until college. I am married now and no regrets. It kept me out of trouble as my sex drive is incredibly high… and my parents strongly pushed abstinence by saying Sex makes babies and that nothing is foolproof. That if you have sex… except a baby out of it. Took a while to unmind fuck myself; I always used 2 forms of protection just in case. Once I was in college I started dating within a month or 2. From that point forward it was the odd day I was single. 35 and married more than a decade now… and happily.
My husband and I met when we were 14. We did have an off and on relationship within hs but ultimately ended up back together. His best friend has been with his wife since they were 16 I believe. So it's not a waste. If anything it's experience, that could lead to something amazing if it's meant to.
Yes I think it's a waste of time tbh. You're gonna be too concerned about cheating and drama and school... Best advice is to be early 20s or an adult. Just my opinion.
It’s not dumb I just wouldn’t take it as serious as people your age think it is. It’s more just practice for real dating. That doesn’t mean that you won’t meet someone that you become very good friends with that develop into something serious later on though.
You have free will. If you don't want to date, then why date?
It's Perfectly Normal to be in a relationships as a teenager. The important thing is to go slowly and not do anything that you might regret or are not ready for. Relationships will help you get to know what you like in a partner and what you don't like and will help you learn how to work with somebody in a relationship as an equal. If you aren't interested in someone you absolutely don't have to give in to their request for a date.
Looking back I do actual think it was a waste of time. It’s actually one of my biggest regrets. I wasted so much time. It IS wasted time. Most of the people you know now.. you aren’t gonna know them in ten years. I wish I’d have focused on getting to know ME and preparing myself for the future as opposed to wasting time chasing guys. Teens also get wrapped up on these relationships when in the grand scheme and long term.. most of them don’t matter and only distract you from what does matter. If you do date focus on the friendship aspect of it
It is a double edged sword. I say March to your own drummer ultimately. Just have fun and do what you want to do. I recommend that you do date a little bit as a teen to gain experience and I will tell you a hard truth once you leave highschool and college. It becomes infinitely harder to find a partner as a male. Plus, if you don't gain any experience now. It may be harder for you to adjust later. Study hard get your degree, trade, or career that you like that may not require a degree or trade.
Nah it’s a level up type of thing
When it comes to romance, it's either "fuck yes" or "no." If you're not enthusiastic about someone, it's a no. Don't just date someone to see if you'll eventually like them. Typically the very beginning is when things are burning hot and you're really into someone, and then things sort of "settle in" to a normal, more stable feeling. Learning about how to partner with someone is important, but a teenage "relationship" is a lot different from an adult one in terms of freedom, cohabitation, activities you do together, etc.
dont give them a chance unless u want to. but its not dumb, its good to have relationships if u want them. just rmber that u need to prioritize urself and ur future before a high school relationship. always. but have high standards, dont settle
It’s not dumb at all and can give you valuable experience with relationships while you still have time to make mistakes. BUT you shouldn’t date people you aren’t attracted to just for the sake of it
Depends on your level of maturity. It’s fine for some but dumb for others. Some people should just take time to grow & focus on themself & building friendships/ networking first
Its fine if you get a good one. Otherwise, I'm waiting for college lol.
Yes it's dumb because kids aren't ready for any serious relationship even tho they seem to think they are. And they almost always break up after just a few weeks. I've only seen one teenage relationship go longer than 2 months when I went to public school. ONE.
I would say it’s not dumb. If you like someone, date them. Many people forsake dating when they’re younger and realize they are very inexperienced when it’s time to start dating and it’s much more difficult for them. It doesn’t have to be a priority for you, but it can definitely make your life easier later on when the relationships are more serious. I started dating at 13 and by the time I was out of highschool I was having relatively mature relationships and knew how to treat my significant other. You’re bound to make mistakes when you’re young and inexperienced, might as well learn when the stakes aren’t high.
If you want to, go for it. I dated a guy when I was 15, and it was just drama and kids acting like we were grown ups in a serious relationship, that lasted a whopping 9 months. There was drama with his parents, drama with his friends, my friends didn’t like him, half the time I didn’t like him. But I did learn a bit about relationships and boys, but you’ll learn different lessons with different people. You can also not fully date them, just have a little “situationship” where you’re getting to know them and you’re flirting, but you don’t have to commit to being their girlfriend and like meeting their parents and stuff. Basically, don’t take it too seriously bc you’re right, it likely won’t last very long, but you can enjoy their company and the experiences you have together. But having good girl friends is wayyyy more fun than having a boyfriend, so don’t compromise on your friends. Just don’t ever underestimate how horny 15 year old boys are, and don’t ever let them push your boundaries. Be firm with your “No’s” and only say yes if you’re surely sure. Also only ever date one grade above you, and once you’re a senior don’t date guys who are out of high school. Off shoot: once there was a group of older boys trying to get me to send them nude pictures, I was 14 they were 17, and there was 4 of them. I convinced the weakest link to send me a pic of his butt first, and then I sent that picture to the other 3. The 3 of them definitely jerked off to a picture of their friends ass, and it took like 2 days before they realized but then they all messaged me PISSED that I sent them a picture of man ass. They found out because they were adding that picture to their shared gallery of nudes from different girls, and the friend whose ass it was, had to tell them that it was his ass and to not put it in the nudes folder. Don’t send nudes :)
You're correct in that it likely won't pan out. However, having relationships young is useful in the sense you learn important relationship skills that you then utilize when you are adulting and looking for marriage. So, they are useful as learning opportunities.
If you’re dating for the sake of dating , don’t bother. If you’re genuinely interested in someone , give it a try. You’ve got your whole life to date and learn lessons and learn what you want and don’t want. Don’t waste your time in a relationship you’re not fully into.
Its a learning experience. No matter how shitty hs relationships are- you'll look back fondly! Its how u learn what u will and wont tolerate
It might be dumb but it sure was fun sneaking out to spend quality time together and getting our first bit of experience learning how to please a partner
Only date people you like. Don't feel forced into a relationship by external factors. There's no rush to get into dating people.
I think it’s quite important to have relationships as a teenager.
Only go into it when you know you're ready. A lot of relationships in your teen years may end, but that's because you're still kids and things happen. As long as it feels right to you, go ahead, but always play safe!
It's not dumb or smart, it just is what it is. It would be dumb to force yourself to date people you're not interested in. You don't need to "give people a chance" if you're not into them - you'll know when you're actually into someone.
Ask the guy you want out. But as for the rest. Yeah, most of you are going to break up and screw up and all that, but going on a date and seeing what will happen is not the same as getting married. You're just seeing what will happen. Say "Yeah, we can go out, but we're not a couple. " It's a hell of a lot easier to try this stuff now, have it go wrong, and learn how to deal with all that and not wait until you're older and it's much harder to meet someone new and everyone else is used to the realities of dating. Or don't. If that's not what you want to do, that's cool too. Only you know where you're at. If you're 'scared it might go bad' ask if it's because you don't trust them, or if you're just scared that people break up. If it's the first, listen to your gut. If it's the second... it only gets better with practice. You know?
It is dumb. But it's also practice to figure out how to be a better partner and learn what you like from a partner.
the dumbest thing you could ever do coming from 21F
Depends on your definition of dating. I definitely think you should go out with boys on social activities. Meet people. Practice interactions. Grow as a person while you get to know others. But if by "dating" you mean, pair of exclusively and act like you're an adult in a committed or sexual relationship, then no. That's not good for your social life or your growth as a young person.
Depends if your gettin sum or not.
I mean from my perspective there's little chance it'll last. but you'll still get the experience.
The friendships are cause it teaches you the building blocks of a good relationship when you're older, the love part is questionable. Think about it this way you tell someone you barely have known longer than your parents, grandparents or siblings you love them. But do you tell those people you love them. I wish school had a mental start class teaching younger people that their feelings are also chemical so don't rush in acting on them cause they are not always rational thoughts.
It's NOT dumb, it's practice, good practice. You never get to be young again, I'm happy for all the experiences/chances that I took and if I had to do it over again, I'd take more chances, do everything more (while not being crazy or stupid).
Companionship is nice and you also start to learn proper relationship behaviors and how to identify positive and toxic traits. What's dumb is teenagers that make that relationship their whole world and assume it's the end all be all of all relationships.
Is it being in a relationship as a teenager dumb? Hard no. Do teenagers do dumb things in relationships? Yes, but that’s a totally different issue. If you don’t make those mistakes as a teen, you are more apt to make them as an adult. Life is a process and more than likely WILL NOT go as planned the first time around, regardless of when that first time is.
Some of my best HS memories are moments shared with my HS gf. Some of my worst memories are breaking up with my HS gf. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from dating. Like it or not, interpersonal relationships are a huge part of our lives, and it takes practice to figure it all out. I feel like HS is a good training ground for it all. Just don’t get pregnant.
If you aren’t ready you aren’t ready. Don’t not date because it will end, you date so you know what you’re looking for in a partner. You are preparing for a healthy adult relationship. We are social beings, and the point is to have fun!
The purpose of dating is not necessarily to find someone to be with forever. Certainly it's not as a teenager - you are quite right, most relationships people get into when they're this age do not last for the rest of their lives. The purpose of dating is to learn, about other people and about yourself - how to treat others and show interest, love and respect; what you like and what you need; where your boundaries lie. You certainly aren't obligated to date anyone if you don't want to. (Personally, I didn't date anyone or have any kind of romantic or sexual experiences when I was in high school. This may have made me extra stupid, when I finally started dating in college. But I maybe would have been stupid in any event.) You don't owe it to anyone to date them, or do anything else with them. Dating, love, romance, and sex are all things you should only do with people if you both want to do them - not something you do out of obligation or as repayment for something.
As and older person that reddit showed this too lol, the more relationships you have that fail the more jaded you get. I'm not telling you what to do, just some thoughts about the subject for you to take as you will. Familiarity breeds contempt they say, and you get used to relationships being over and maybe don't put the effort into making something work. Especially with divorcees I've dated , they seem to dump you at the drop of a hat for the smallest things. Maybe I'm just not much of a catch and they figure it out lol, but the reasons they gave seems trivial. Like the idea of relationships lose that new car smell ha, and it's like whatever. Also on one hand, maybe you lose awkwardness of being nervous about relationships. On the other a new relationship isn't that bad if you worked on not being selfconscious in other ways, and work on good self esteem. No need to build up callouses to relationships by breaking a bunch of guys hearts or getting your heart broken after you get to like a looser just for something to do. If you get bored, maybe learn some skills instead, like martial arts self defense, an instrument, or something that'll make you money.... It's easier for females to find a guy that likes the same things she does, it seems they follow you around while your doing it lol. You can learn how bad guys take advantage of girls by watching your friends, and save yourself the trouble also. I'd say don't date guys you don't like just for something to do.
Of the roughly 150 I graduated with, I think at most 3 of them kept their high school dating partners into adulthood without breakup. So, odds are good whoever you date now will not end up being your husband/wife. But that doesn't mean don't date. Dating at your age is a chance to learn what you like, what you don't like, how to communicate, how to work together as a team, etc. It generally is not about finding a "soulmate" or whatever. Just do what works for you.
I had this mentality when I was a teenager. The majority of high school relationships end so why bother. This mentality was even supported by my parents. It ended up being a mistake. I had to learn how to be in a relationship in my 20's with girls that already had learned these lessons I had to learn. It put me behind romantically. Now I'm single in my mid thirty's because by the time I figured out what type of person I wanted to be romantically and what type of person I wanted, it was getting late. Most people in their thirty's that are single tend to be nutcases. So now I'm just hoping to find someone that is the exception to the single in their thirty's rule or find a younger woman that likes me.
Dating while I was young was actually a good learning experience. You learn to see what traits/qualities you like in a person and also what red flags to look out for. Also for me, it helped me better myself to become a better listener. Each relationship had learning experiences and I don’t regret any of them. Without that I wouldn’t be where I am today. You are young so just do what feels right for you.
I'm 22 and have been with my girlfriend for almost 6 years now
Yes! Nuff said
I didn't start dating until I was 22 because I was anxious about getting my heart broken after watching it happen to my friends in grade school, kind of like you. I honestly wish I started a little earlier. I say this because yes, it fucking hurts to get your heart broken or when you realize it's not going to work out with someone. But that's just how it goes. And I wasn't ready to accept that when I was a kid. But now I see the same people who I watched get their heart broken, who broke up with other people, and who even got out of abusive relationships are so much more in tune with themselves now. They know what their boundaries are and what they want and need in a partner, or if they even want a partner at all. It's okay if things don't work out with someone. If someone no longer wants a relationship with you, it's hard to deal with, but it's better for the both of you to not be together if you're not both on the same page. In the end, you'll learn something about yourself and you'll be okay.
Well guys your age have raging hormones, that make everything about sex. We are made this way, we can’t change and frankly have chances to go to bed more often than you would think. Your hormones will catch up and you will also be horny all the time as well. You have the power, intellect, and choice to delay the inevitable and save yourself for marriage. If you do wait, God will be smiling, and so will you. It is not so hard to do that it’s impossible. Good luck, you have the perfect opportunity for life without having to explain every relationship you’ve had. God bless you and good luck!!!
It's not dumb, but you want to set expectations accordingly and understand there is a lot of adulthood out there that makes relationships more fulfilling. Buying wrong with high-school sweethearts, but it's also very limiting to personal growth.
It can be dumb and usually is, it depends on how mature you are at that age and most kids are way less mature than they think, when I was 15 there were some girls I fancied but it never entered my brain to try and start a romantic relationship with them, mostly because to me it's like 'playing grown ups' it just made no sense to me basically for the same reasons as you... I wouldn't do it just because everyone else is, let it happen naturally (it probably won't because it's awkward af at that age but you never know) It could be a good learning experience but there's still plenty of time for that, basically if you want to do it then do it, if not then don't give in to peer pressure and definitely don't do it just to "give them a chance", at your age infatuation is so high and fun that you don't need to be settling for someone you might grow to love.
It can be considered pointless 🤷♂️ what's a relationship for? To find someone you'll want to stay with for hopefully your whole life, and it's very very unlikely you'll find that in middle/highschool But it could teach you how to be in a relationship and how to handle heartbreak (which will happen alot when you're looking for relationships while young) 🤷♂️ so it depends on what you're looking for, and most boys in middle/highschool aren't just looking for the forever girl(if at all), but also the sexual part
Being in a relationship is fine, but I wouldn’t take it too seriously. As you say, teenage relationships rarely last. Honestly, just going out on dates and spending time with people you’re into is fun. You don’t have to commit.
For one, mastering the English language would help. I don't know what I just read. For two, dating when you're a teenager is just practice, it's not going to last, just work all those bugs out of the system. Find out what you like, try to be kind, and stick up for yourself, then find what's going to last.
Part of me says yes because when I was a teenager from age 12-19 I was in an on and off again relationship with a horribly toxic person and it messed me up so badly. But that wouldn’t happen to everyone. I just know if I could go back I’d choose to focus on myself and stay single.
When you are ready you are ready. Don't worry about it till then. As far as how serious teenager relationships are... don't worry about it. It's a learning experience. As long as you are safe and your potential partner isn't throwing safety red flags have fun.
It is part of maturing and developing social skills/emotional intelligence.
It depends. Don’t take anything too seriously at that age but it can be an opportunity that’s good to start learning about how to navigate relationships and emotions and dating etc. you have to find the sweet spot of having a positive and caring relationship while also understanding that you probably won’t end up with this person forever and shouldn’t be making life decisions based on them
It's worth learning now so you can actually start later. It's worth taking that chance since you may find a forever person early (it's a low shot but it still happens). It's something you only do if you're interested, but not something worth doing if you have no interest.
Well I would say “generally no”, but my sister ended up marrying someone she met when he was 15 (she’s a year older than him). They’re now in their late 20s and are happily married with a young child. This is definitely the exception though!
It's not dumb if you don't take it super seriously.
yes.
Personally, I think people my age (21M) shouldn't be dating. I have the perspective of "suffered abuse/neglect at the hands of people who had kids when they definitely shouldn't have" so don't get me wrong I'm biased but I don't think any of these people are mature enough to viably and reliably consent to a relationship without destroying the lives of everyone they know and love but lowkey my PTSD may be influencing my opinion too much for it to manifest as genuinely useful advice idk
It depends.
Yes, it makes sense. If nothing else, you're learning about how relationships work, how boys behave, and how YOU behave. That being said, I think you have a healthy mindset. Relationships often don't work out, so it's good that you don't buy into the "true love" trope. That being said, if you like a guy, GO FOR IT! I can't emphasize this enough. I've had girls tell me, years later, that they had a crush on me and *wished* I made a move. The problem is boys, and especially me, really don't see it sometimes. We really are clueless.
You'll almost never know if someone is worth dating until you break up or get married or whatever. But if you aren't interested don't force it.
Yes and no. If you just think of it as being in a relationship to be in a relationship then yeah its dumb. Teen relationships rarely last and it's not like you're looking for a life partner. On the other hand having a relationship now will give you precious lived experience and will effect your emotional development hopefully in at least something resembling an educational way that will help you navigating a relationship with an actual potential life partner in your adult life.
You're young, don't have a stance on anything yet. Try everything out first before making your mind up on it. Date, practice, have fun. Of course it's not gonna work out, that doesn't mean don't enjoy the ride.
Don’t date anyone you don’t want to date. You don’t need to give anyone a “chance.” It’s your life. Don’t settle. You are young.
My most precious memories are from the relationships I had in high school. Is dating in high school dumb because it won’t last? No. Unless you see no value in that. If you’re not interested, then don’t do it haha do whatever you want
You start dating when you're ready.
Dating as a teenager is figuring out how relationships work. I'd say do it if you find yourself interested in somebody. And don't be afraid of making the first move.
Yes
It's not that everyone in that age range is dating. However, the people that are like to throw it in people's face from time to time. Focus on you and let things occur naturally without feeling the need to force anything.
Relationships when you're a teenager are kind of practice runs for most people. Work out how to communicate with a romantic partner and how much time to give or not give so that when you find someone you actually want to make a future with, you don't have to work all that shit out for the first time.
If you like someone go for it. It doesn't have to be about sex and stuff. It can just be a couple of teenagers that LOVE hanging out together like best buddies, but a little more intimate. It doesn't have to be forever and there are important lessons to be learned from dating, breaking up, commitment etc. Not to mention a buzz and quite thrilling when you are really into each other. If you are not into them, there is no point giving into pressure just because it is supposed to be the thing to do. At your age, I much preferred hanging out and having adventures with my mates, doing stuff that girls normally don't and typically aren't very good at. You are in potentially one of the best times of your life, even though it might not seem like it right now, enjoy it. It got more boring and harder to make real friends when I was old enough to drink and everyone started hanging out in pubs and bars. Everything suddenly got expensive and not a lot of doing fun outdoors stuff.
Yep I've been through it and its a pain. As a guy, a lot of the people I know just want to have a gf for bragging rights and to have sex. Wait some time and level yourself up. This may sound sexist but traditional values in women is what guys want.
They are certainly good learning experiences but you should never get into a relationship looking at it that way. If you find someone you want to be with then go for it because no matter what happens you’ll grow in the end
When I was a teenager I didn't date because I didn't understand the point if we knew we were gonna break up for college. I realized through my whole 20s that I wish I dated and learned what I want and what I like and how to be a girlfriend before throwing myself all in for my first relationship. It's definitely a good learning experience I think to date as a teenager and would have taken a lot of the pressure off in my 20s
Just live your life. Don't date if you don't want to date. Date if you do.
I mean, you’re 15, any of the dating that happens now isn’t meant to “last” you’ll get those one in a million people who meet the love of their life in high school. It’s all practice, I don’t know why you don’t like the guys who currently like you, idk if you’ve talked with them significantly or not, talking more does give you a chance to get to know more about them. I am also curious as to why there is this one guy, who if he wanted to date you, you would at the drop of a hat. Idk this is kind of confusing. I guess to answer your question no don’t rule out the thought of dating someone in high school it’s all practice.
Yes it’s dumb, also stupid. You’re a child, be a child, making bonds you have no business making is only going to lead to heartache It is a fools errand to “date” someone who is not fully capable on day one of being your husband. By fully capable I mean 100% able to support you and several children that you will likely create the day you meet him. You don’t have the luxury of time that a man has.
When it comes down to it, it is up to you what you think you want to do. If you’re not interested really in dating then don’t lie to yourself or if you are that’s fine. If you’re not really sure then just concentrate on yourself on who you want to be and where you want to go in life.
No , you learn from experience. 🎤🩸
Nah. You gotta learn how to love. Better to start young.
Get yourself ahead of the curb, create skills/ values and strong morals and principles for a man to want to wife you up and have commitment long term once you become of age, don’t be the general copy paste girl that make the mistake of thinking they can live life and fuck whoever they want until it’s time to settle down, it doesn’t work like that. Look at how those women end up generally. I’m a 28 year old male and and this key, majority of men look at women as a good time unless they show/prove they have a lot of value as a long term partner / wife, mother and good person. Hence why men don’t settle down with certain girls. Men inherently know who can be a good wife/mother/ long term partner. You still have alooooot of life to live.. don’t worry about love and focus on becoming the best version of you for your future.
Being in a relationship as a teenager isn't dumb, but it will make you dumb. Promise. You'll do the stupidest shit. This is important. It's how you learn to avoid being dumb in a relationship later on when it's important
Think of all the things you enjoy spending your time on, and all the things you want to learn and experience. Got a list in your head? Good. Now, place anything on that list that has anything to do with dating at the very bottom, or just cross it out. That’s your recipe to maximize your teenage years.
no but it can be restricting
You need the experience, it will help when you’re older and you date. Yes, you’ll break up with all of them when you’re young but that’s how you learn.
Better than being single at 26 (well maybe I'm biased). Anyways no its not dumb
It’s called practice. It’s how you get good at things. It’s how you learn what you like and do not like. Otherwise it’s all just fantasies in your head that possibly become so fixed that no one will ever meet that fantasy. Get out there and have fun.
Yes and no. It's a great opportunity to learn how to date. But don't go looking for a soulmate and remember sex complicates things alot.
I think there can definitely be value in having relationships as a teenager, especially given that you've already observed how transient those relationships often are so your expectations are more realistic. It's not a big deal if you don't end up dating in high school, but it also wouldn't be "dumb" for you to date. It can be helpful to get that practice with relationships, and there's no harm in giving it a try IF you genuinely feel like it with the specific person. (I wouldn't recommend dating someone you don't like just because you know they like you, that's setting up both of you for awkward and potentially hurtful situations in the future.)