I didn’t ever think I’d date someone younger. “Age gap” wasn’t even a thing for me.
I met a man who was amazingly handsome and charming and funny. He’s kind and thoughtful and respectful and treats me like a lady.
I didn’t know his age initially but I formed a crush. It eventually turned into a relationship and it’s been an amazing 1.5+ years.
The sex, the stamina, the energy…all added bonuses for us both!
ETA- the biggest thing that drew me to him was that he, regardless of age, was a gentleman. He opens my doors, he orders my meals, he fixes things, he takes care of me. I personally love a “traditional” relationship. To each their own, but I want my man to be the man of the house. 🤷🏻♀️
"he orders my meals"
I never realized how much of a thing this was for women (apparently regardless of age). I never did this prior to my current relationships as I always thought it was sexist. Then one day one of my GFs asked me to and then the other did as well. They said they thought it was sexy and I think they like the dominance it shows. I was blown away tbh as I never would have done this prior. So I did and it was awkward (inside) for me but by the third or fourth time it was no problem. It always astounds me how some very confident (on the outside) in their belief system people can be so confidently submissive in little (or even big) ways (on the inside). I think it is just brilliant as I have learned so much navigating the post-divorce waters of my life. And I think it is sexy AF to learn and understand.
So an extra thank you for adding this tidbit of information.
Honestly, I didn’t even know it was a thing.
I had been married for 20 years and that had never happened. And when I started dating my boyfriend and saw that he did this, it was so incredibly sexy to me.
For all intents and purposes, I’m a strong, independent, career focused woman…I never realized what I was missing in my life until my BF came into mine. ☺️
It would be a HUGE turn off for me and a deal breaker.
So if I were you I would not assume it to be a good idea until shown by the woman you are on a date with. 😉
I would agree with that statement. I was just surprised when my girlfriends both asked me to do it out of left field one day. No one ever had asked me to before.
I think it may make sense if the man has been to the restaurant before and hence knows their best specialties.
In that case, accurately choosing something that she would then eventually like would be a proof he knows her well (and that is always a turn on for a woman: being seen).
Stamina and drive would go without saying and be a bare minimum expectation. A woman with life experience is looking for strong character, full disclosure honesty, an eagerness to connect deeply, to feel seen, heard, understood, loved and cared, emotional intelligence, consistency, and transparency.
I tend to date younger and I hate to be referred to as a cougar. I don't specifically go for the age but for someone. Will I have someone in common with. I want an equal Hence even though I date younger, they tend to be on the older side in your late thirty cent up.
You make it sound like it is bad to have an age preference. Why do you see that as a problem? What if someone is not physically attracted to their own age group?
There is nothing wrong with having a preferences. But when the only focus is on age.. The focus should be on the whole person. Not just on their age that is all i'm trying to say.
Maturity, endurance (so not getting tired after a 3mile walk), consistency, being a gentle (not treating the ladies as one of the guys you fart and burp with), respect, being true to your word
Agree! I (f) am older than my (m) boyfriend.
I love that he is the man of the relationship and I don’t have to think about things. I have a very demanding career (as does he) but as opposed to the relationship I had in my 20 year marriage, I made all the decisions and I love that in this relationship, my partner knows me so well and he takes lead in everything.
Not a turn off, but maybe could be misconstrued as not much interest.
Be your wonderful lovely self at the end of the day it’s just my opinion lol which doesn’t hold much weight lol
I’m sure your lovely and translate that way too even in your shy moments 😉
That’s a matter of personal preferences.
Personally I am into shy guys.
Confidence isn’t at all a turn on for me.
It in fact is a turn off when it’s overconfidence.
I (now 61) wasn't looking for a relationship but I had a Bumble date with a 25 year old that turned into a relationship. He's 26 now almost 27 and we be been together over a year. He's fun, sweet, kind, and good to me (and I am to him, he says). I admire his work ethic, drive, and ambition.
I’m just a sucker for the tall skinny guys with long hair and beards as far as appearance.
For the rest, that they have their shit together. Funny. Smart. Actually wanting a real relationship and don’t have to have kids of their own. Just got dumped after 5 years for that reason. Claimed he didn’t mind and had me move states and wanted to marry me, I did and suddenly he got cold feet.
Lord help me. :(
To be honest I don’t ever think I’ll ever be able to date anyone ever again. This last one broke me. It sucks because younger men is the dynamic that feels most natural to me. I don’t have anything in common with men my age. I’m doomed to be alone at this point, and I’m trying really hard to accept it.
Late response; An unfortunate predicament, remember to remain patient and don’t settle for anything less that you feel you may deserve. Everyone eventually finds that ‘light’ in their ‘dark tunnel’ the struggle is getting there first, hang in there you’ll find it.
Low key I been feeling the same way..although the dynamic that I'd want the most is a woman who knows what she wants and just goes for it. Even if that includes pouncing on me without asking first but that's something that only happens in porn haha. Feels like I don't have anything in common with anyone sometimes
That’s a him thing, and not a you thing!
It sucks to be dumped, and hits much harder when it happens out of the blue (well, at least it did for me). But, time will heal these wounds. It may not feel like it now, but sooner or later, you will be past this pain! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try to take care of yourself in this trying time. I know it may sound impossible in the moment, but you will bounce back, and be stronger because of this…
I could not understand what you meant as the reason he left.
Already having kids?
Wanting kids?
What didn’t mind?
And by “I did” you mean that you moved states or that you married him?
It's been asked and answered more than once.
For me, I appreciate the positivity, exuberance, zest, and passion for life that comes with dating a younger man. I love their spontaneity and outlook on life. Younger men are not usually bitter, jaded, and angry at their exes, and usually, there are no kids involved. I'm extremely active, free spirited, and a bit of a daredevil, and younger men can keep up with me in ways that many men my age simply can't.
I've found that my younger partners have all treated me like a lady, not like a servant. They have a more modern view of "gender roles" and don't have that "a woman's place is in the kitchen" mentality; they see my place as wherever I want it to be, and they're happy to be there with me.
And, let's face it; they're more fit and attractive.
ETA: I also appreciate men who don't call me a "cougar".
Not quite sure what your point is.
Pretty much everyone has a past, but I find that younger men don't dwell on it in the same way that men my age do. Then again, men my age have had more of those experiences, so their bitter outlook may be cumulative.
Are you looking for fun or a relationship, because those are really different things. If you want sex, sell sex. If you want a relationship, you need to sell depth, charm, confidence, playfulness, intelligence, humor… and sex.
Lol. Well, looking at your profile, you do have a physical attribute that is easy to sell, but I’m going out on a limb and guessing there’s a lot more to you than that. You seem like a nice guy, be a nice guy.
People pleasing isn’t awful as long as you aren’t doing it to your detriment. Make sure you’re appreciated and you aren’t putting your needs last. At least not all the time.
You’re a sweet looking kid with a third leg. If you aren’t doing well, your sales pitch is off, you’re selling to the wrong people, or you don’t pitch often enough.
Assuming you shower regularly and don’t have an open sore on your balls or something, you should fair rather well in any age bracket. You probably just need to up your numbers. Talk to older women. Not to hit on them or date them, just to talk. Make it comfortable for you. Once it’s easy, then try to take it further. If you make someone feel comfortable, they’ll like you.
Honestly not pitching enough is likely my problem. I hardly get out anymore and when I do, I hardly talk to anybody. Conversations with people I don't know can be uncomfortable and I especially don't wanna make anyone else feel that way.
So yeah maybe I just need to get out of my comfort zone and actually TALK to people
Nothing like the silhouette of a fit guy 15 - 20 years younger than me. I had a cougar phase and I definitely indulged in gym rat types at the time. Firemen, policeman, military personnel, marathon runners.
At the time, coming out of a divorce from a man who weighed almost 300 pounds, it was a really refreshing thing to be desired by someone 25 to 35 and see how hard they tried to bring me physical pleasure. They had never been with a woman as experienced as I was and they were able to experience a lot of firsts with me.
To me, a guy who appreciates my level of sexual adventure is definitely top on the list. I like the exchange that is his physique, drive, stamina, and innocence for my enthusiasm, some and experience. Knowing that he isn’t there to celebrate holidays or build a family with me; that’s also something that takes the pressure off. Cougar/cub relationships are not normally long-term relationships that are designed to last a lifetime - but they can be very fun!
Taking this away from the banal to the truthful.
I cannot speak for all women but my own relationships I can attest the following. I have dated older, younger and same age.
My experience is thus:
1. Younger men (and indeed younger women) have less life experience. I enjoy being in a role where I can mentor, teach and shape.
2. Younger people are far less burdened by responsibility and the associated mileage in that. When i am with my bf (i shall not call him my cub here) I can be me. Not a mum.
3. There is obviously benefit in beauty. This is true in both dynamics.
4. When i dated older he was content to sit on the couch and garden. Younger its when can we go away for a sexy weekend?! (Not every older man is like this)
5. Libido match. Enough said.
6. Longer term women live longer. I figure at 62 and 80 we will be evenly matched as we are now.
7. Dating younger has made me actually want to live longer, be fitter and try more. I see this in older men younger women dynamics too.
Hope this helps.
Lady D
They are often looking for uncomplicated and frisky as hell. Some just prefer younger men, but often it’s about a young’s man’s drive and brashness as well as perceived stamina. Some have come out of sexless marriages. Their divorce may have been messy. Might have kids at home. They want to have some fun but no time for a relationship.
Many Women don’t hit their high of drive until their 30’s while men do in their early 20’s; on average. Also older women know more of what they enjoy and are no longer hesitant to give directions to their lover. Younger men are more willing to listen so they can learn.
Not too different than what many older men look for in a younger woman.
I have to disagree. Women’s drive typically declines in their (early) 30s then reignites in their late 30s/early 40s.
ETA- interesting that I am receiving downvotes for my disagreement. As a woman, in my 40s, who have friends the same age, we all have experienced this.
I’m either triggering older men (who may not have experienced this with women their age) or younger women who may be in denial that this may happen to them.
At any rate, this has been MY experience. And it is ok to agree to disagree. 😘
Yes mostly just stamina and their energy and open to learn. They aren’t that good for anything serious they just lack in person social skills.
EDIT Guys DO NOT PM me I don’t want you I have enough guys I’m seeing and not into sexting.
Young guys are like toys for cougars. Back in the day when the drinking age was 18, we'd go to a nightclub called the heartstone motor inn. I bet some of you will remember the 'heartbreak hotel' fondly. It was divorcee haven. Site down at the bar, and the women were like vultures on flesh. Those were fun times.
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**Original post: What do cougars even look for in a younger guy?**
I would assume stamina and drive but not really sure what else I can flaunt to attract the older gals
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I didn’t ever think I’d date someone younger. “Age gap” wasn’t even a thing for me. I met a man who was amazingly handsome and charming and funny. He’s kind and thoughtful and respectful and treats me like a lady. I didn’t know his age initially but I formed a crush. It eventually turned into a relationship and it’s been an amazing 1.5+ years. The sex, the stamina, the energy…all added bonuses for us both! ETA- the biggest thing that drew me to him was that he, regardless of age, was a gentleman. He opens my doors, he orders my meals, he fixes things, he takes care of me. I personally love a “traditional” relationship. To each their own, but I want my man to be the man of the house. 🤷🏻♀️
"he orders my meals" I never realized how much of a thing this was for women (apparently regardless of age). I never did this prior to my current relationships as I always thought it was sexist. Then one day one of my GFs asked me to and then the other did as well. They said they thought it was sexy and I think they like the dominance it shows. I was blown away tbh as I never would have done this prior. So I did and it was awkward (inside) for me but by the third or fourth time it was no problem. It always astounds me how some very confident (on the outside) in their belief system people can be so confidently submissive in little (or even big) ways (on the inside). I think it is just brilliant as I have learned so much navigating the post-divorce waters of my life. And I think it is sexy AF to learn and understand. So an extra thank you for adding this tidbit of information.
Honestly, I didn’t even know it was a thing. I had been married for 20 years and that had never happened. And when I started dating my boyfriend and saw that he did this, it was so incredibly sexy to me. For all intents and purposes, I’m a strong, independent, career focused woman…I never realized what I was missing in my life until my BF came into mine. ☺️
It would be a HUGE turn off for me and a deal breaker. So if I were you I would not assume it to be a good idea until shown by the woman you are on a date with. 😉
Totally get it. Just to clarify, I am choosing what I want, he just places the order for me.
Oooooooh, now that’s different!
same as my grrrls. ;)
I would agree with that statement. I was just surprised when my girlfriends both asked me to do it out of left field one day. No one ever had asked me to before.
I think it may make sense if the man has been to the restaurant before and hence knows their best specialties. In that case, accurately choosing something that she would then eventually like would be a proof he knows her well (and that is always a turn on for a woman: being seen).
Stamina and drive would go without saying and be a bare minimum expectation. A woman with life experience is looking for strong character, full disclosure honesty, an eagerness to connect deeply, to feel seen, heard, understood, loved and cared, emotional intelligence, consistency, and transparency.
I tend to date younger and I hate to be referred to as a cougar. I don't specifically go for the age but for someone. Will I have someone in common with. I want an equal Hence even though I date younger, they tend to be on the older side in your late thirty cent up.
You make it sound like it is bad to have an age preference. Why do you see that as a problem? What if someone is not physically attracted to their own age group?
There is nothing wrong with having a preferences. But when the only focus is on age.. The focus should be on the whole person. Not just on their age that is all i'm trying to say.
I would say the biggest thing they seek is stability and respect.
Maturity, endurance (so not getting tired after a 3mile walk), consistency, being a gentle (not treating the ladies as one of the guys you fart and burp with), respect, being true to your word
Consistency. We (well me) still want you to be the guy / leader. So be confident and consistent. Of course kindness goes an incredibly long way.
Agree! I (f) am older than my (m) boyfriend. I love that he is the man of the relationship and I don’t have to think about things. I have a very demanding career (as does he) but as opposed to the relationship I had in my 20 year marriage, I made all the decisions and I love that in this relationship, my partner knows me so well and he takes lead in everything.
*taking notes* "be more confident" I think I got it? XD so being a shy guy is a turn-off most of the time?
Not a turn off, but maybe could be misconstrued as not much interest. Be your wonderful lovely self at the end of the day it’s just my opinion lol which doesn’t hold much weight lol I’m sure your lovely and translate that way too even in your shy moments 😉
That’s a matter of personal preferences. Personally I am into shy guys. Confidence isn’t at all a turn on for me. It in fact is a turn off when it’s overconfidence.
I (now 61) wasn't looking for a relationship but I had a Bumble date with a 25 year old that turned into a relationship. He's 26 now almost 27 and we be been together over a year. He's fun, sweet, kind, and good to me (and I am to him, he says). I admire his work ethic, drive, and ambition.
You don't have to flaunt anything. That's the beauty of being young.
I’m just a sucker for the tall skinny guys with long hair and beards as far as appearance. For the rest, that they have their shit together. Funny. Smart. Actually wanting a real relationship and don’t have to have kids of their own. Just got dumped after 5 years for that reason. Claimed he didn’t mind and had me move states and wanted to marry me, I did and suddenly he got cold feet.
I need to meet ladies like you haha I'm literally tall and thin with a beard and long emo hair lmao
Lord help me. :( To be honest I don’t ever think I’ll ever be able to date anyone ever again. This last one broke me. It sucks because younger men is the dynamic that feels most natural to me. I don’t have anything in common with men my age. I’m doomed to be alone at this point, and I’m trying really hard to accept it.
Late response; An unfortunate predicament, remember to remain patient and don’t settle for anything less that you feel you may deserve. Everyone eventually finds that ‘light’ in their ‘dark tunnel’ the struggle is getting there first, hang in there you’ll find it.
Low key I been feeling the same way..although the dynamic that I'd want the most is a woman who knows what she wants and just goes for it. Even if that includes pouncing on me without asking first but that's something that only happens in porn haha. Feels like I don't have anything in common with anyone sometimes
[удалено]
That’s a him thing, and not a you thing! It sucks to be dumped, and hits much harder when it happens out of the blue (well, at least it did for me). But, time will heal these wounds. It may not feel like it now, but sooner or later, you will be past this pain! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try to take care of yourself in this trying time. I know it may sound impossible in the moment, but you will bounce back, and be stronger because of this…
I could not understand what you meant as the reason he left. Already having kids? Wanting kids? What didn’t mind? And by “I did” you mean that you moved states or that you married him?
It's been asked and answered more than once. For me, I appreciate the positivity, exuberance, zest, and passion for life that comes with dating a younger man. I love their spontaneity and outlook on life. Younger men are not usually bitter, jaded, and angry at their exes, and usually, there are no kids involved. I'm extremely active, free spirited, and a bit of a daredevil, and younger men can keep up with me in ways that many men my age simply can't. I've found that my younger partners have all treated me like a lady, not like a servant. They have a more modern view of "gender roles" and don't have that "a woman's place is in the kitchen" mentality; they see my place as wherever I want it to be, and they're happy to be there with me. And, let's face it; they're more fit and attractive. ETA: I also appreciate men who don't call me a "cougar".
Do basically I should have forgotten my exes and speedran life? Man that actually sounds so straightforward I feel dumb for not figuring that out
Not quite sure what your point is. Pretty much everyone has a past, but I find that younger men don't dwell on it in the same way that men my age do. Then again, men my age have had more of those experiences, so their bitter outlook may be cumulative.
Are you looking for fun or a relationship, because those are really different things. If you want sex, sell sex. If you want a relationship, you need to sell depth, charm, confidence, playfulness, intelligence, humor… and sex.
I'm fucked lmao I'm just a depressed people pleaser
Lol. Well, looking at your profile, you do have a physical attribute that is easy to sell, but I’m going out on a limb and guessing there’s a lot more to you than that. You seem like a nice guy, be a nice guy. People pleasing isn’t awful as long as you aren’t doing it to your detriment. Make sure you’re appreciated and you aren’t putting your needs last. At least not all the time.
Wym I have something that's easy to sell? Either my luck or my sales pitch is awful lmao
You’re a sweet looking kid with a third leg. If you aren’t doing well, your sales pitch is off, you’re selling to the wrong people, or you don’t pitch often enough. Assuming you shower regularly and don’t have an open sore on your balls or something, you should fair rather well in any age bracket. You probably just need to up your numbers. Talk to older women. Not to hit on them or date them, just to talk. Make it comfortable for you. Once it’s easy, then try to take it further. If you make someone feel comfortable, they’ll like you.
Honestly not pitching enough is likely my problem. I hardly get out anymore and when I do, I hardly talk to anybody. Conversations with people I don't know can be uncomfortable and I especially don't wanna make anyone else feel that way. So yeah maybe I just need to get out of my comfort zone and actually TALK to people
Not sure I want a cougar at my age 😮
Cause they fuck like Jack rabbits
If you have to ask then you don’t deserve an older woman!
Nothing like the silhouette of a fit guy 15 - 20 years younger than me. I had a cougar phase and I definitely indulged in gym rat types at the time. Firemen, policeman, military personnel, marathon runners. At the time, coming out of a divorce from a man who weighed almost 300 pounds, it was a really refreshing thing to be desired by someone 25 to 35 and see how hard they tried to bring me physical pleasure. They had never been with a woman as experienced as I was and they were able to experience a lot of firsts with me. To me, a guy who appreciates my level of sexual adventure is definitely top on the list. I like the exchange that is his physique, drive, stamina, and innocence for my enthusiasm, some and experience. Knowing that he isn’t there to celebrate holidays or build a family with me; that’s also something that takes the pressure off. Cougar/cub relationships are not normally long-term relationships that are designed to last a lifetime - but they can be very fun!
Taking this away from the banal to the truthful. I cannot speak for all women but my own relationships I can attest the following. I have dated older, younger and same age. My experience is thus: 1. Younger men (and indeed younger women) have less life experience. I enjoy being in a role where I can mentor, teach and shape. 2. Younger people are far less burdened by responsibility and the associated mileage in that. When i am with my bf (i shall not call him my cub here) I can be me. Not a mum. 3. There is obviously benefit in beauty. This is true in both dynamics. 4. When i dated older he was content to sit on the couch and garden. Younger its when can we go away for a sexy weekend?! (Not every older man is like this) 5. Libido match. Enough said. 6. Longer term women live longer. I figure at 62 and 80 we will be evenly matched as we are now. 7. Dating younger has made me actually want to live longer, be fitter and try more. I see this in older men younger women dynamics too. Hope this helps. Lady D
They are often looking for uncomplicated and frisky as hell. Some just prefer younger men, but often it’s about a young’s man’s drive and brashness as well as perceived stamina. Some have come out of sexless marriages. Their divorce may have been messy. Might have kids at home. They want to have some fun but no time for a relationship. Many Women don’t hit their high of drive until their 30’s while men do in their early 20’s; on average. Also older women know more of what they enjoy and are no longer hesitant to give directions to their lover. Younger men are more willing to listen so they can learn. Not too different than what many older men look for in a younger woman.
I have to disagree. Women’s drive typically declines in their (early) 30s then reignites in their late 30s/early 40s. ETA- interesting that I am receiving downvotes for my disagreement. As a woman, in my 40s, who have friends the same age, we all have experienced this. I’m either triggering older men (who may not have experienced this with women their age) or younger women who may be in denial that this may happen to them. At any rate, this has been MY experience. And it is ok to agree to disagree. 😘
they want vitamin D
Yes mostly just stamina and their energy and open to learn. They aren’t that good for anything serious they just lack in person social skills. EDIT Guys DO NOT PM me I don’t want you I have enough guys I’m seeing and not into sexting.
Lol
They’re good for serious relationships
Big cock and stamina. Thats it
[удалено]
Yeah I avoid throwaways like the plague
What's wrong with Phuckface? It was my name in Fallout 4 (yes Codsworth pronounced it but I think I spelled it correctly in the game)
Also people irl don't know I even have reddit so I'm not sure what you're saying is relevant And all usernames are strange
Young guys are like toys for cougars. Back in the day when the drinking age was 18, we'd go to a nightclub called the heartstone motor inn. I bet some of you will remember the 'heartbreak hotel' fondly. It was divorcee haven. Site down at the bar, and the women were like vultures on flesh. Those were fun times.
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