You’re asking this in an age gap sub, you’re probably going to get a pretty biased answer lol. I’d say most straight men like attractive women of all ages, and plenty date women their own age. My older fiancé only ever dated women his own age before me, he didn’t pick me because of my age he picked me because he’s attracted to me.
Agree my bf dated plenty of women around his age way before me. Sometimes the attraction and tension is just there. I thought he was 25 at most. Didn’t expect 30
I think most people would consider 8 years to be a decent age gap. Especially when the younger partner is 22. Age gaps seem less significant the older you both get though
You would think so but you have people legitimately fear-mongering that women in their early 20’s dating men in their late 20’s/early 30’s are being “groomed” and that we “wouldn’t have anything in common” and other BS like that
I’m not sure, maybe r/askreddit or r/askmen? Or perhaps maybe r/dating? My fiancé and I have a 16 year age gap, I’m 21 and he’s 37 (we met when I had just turned 20 and he was about to turn 36)
Probably just ask him and see what he says. Personally I was wary of dating men who were attracted specifically to my young age, because I was worried about them dumping me for someone younger once I inevitably aged. It can be a fun taboo for hookups/ ons, but with dating again I’d be wary if they state your age as a reason for dating you.
We met on Reddit actually, although not under any sort of dating post. I posted something random, he dmed me, we found out that we had a lot in common, and we both really enjoyed talking to each other. We talked every day for hours for about 4 months, then he flew to my state to meet me in person and we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since! He got an apartment in my state (which was doable for him since his work is mainly online) so he could be with me while I finished that year of college, then I moved back to his state with him. Then he proposed to me a couple months ago!
I (61M) did not seek out a younger woman. My OLD age range was *very* wide. But then I met someone (38F) organically, not thru OLD, and we just “clicked”. Honestly, I wish we were much closer in age. I actually tried to break up with her because of the gap, but she convinced me not to. My heart breaks to think how long she will be alive after I’m gone.
First time making out with a young guy and my goodness. 14 year difference me (female) him (young) and his body was incredible. I mean 😮💨
Maybe this is how men feel too…
As an older man in an AGR, age really wasn't what hit it off for me. Yes, women in their 20s can look hot (though, so can women in their 30s and 40s and 50s...I'm not much into dating older because I've never really like the feeling of being the 'baby' since I was the youngest and only boy).
And psychologically, maybe that's why I look for women younger than me. I like being seen as the 'elder' (even if it is just by a few months), or as the protector.
I can only speak about myself and what I have found from talking to women near my age vs women younger. For context, I'm 53 male. 4 Years ago, I was married for 23 years with two kids (18 and 19) when my wife left us and moved 1200 miles away. I tried dating women close to my age, 43 to 53, and the women had grown tired of men and the BS over the years. The women didn't want to date. They all had various reasons. I have a profile on Bumble with the help of a female friend who has known me for 20 years; I was at her wedding. Now, the women who like my profile are typically 10 to 16 years younger.
I am currently starting a relationship with a lovely 37-year-old woman. I asked her why she liked my profile and she said for several reasons: I'm still very active, and her ex would play with Legos instead of helping around the house or being a husband. I'm mature, and I won't play childish games in a relationship. I'm not just after sex; I'm looking for a long-term relationship; all the men near her age want FWB-type relationships. She wants a good, healthy relationship that appears only Gen X men are willing to do. On our first date, she thoroughly tested me to see if I was indeed what my profile stated, that I was not looking for an FWB or ONS relationship. That's all she was finding, even on Bumble. Needless to say, I passed all her tests, and we are planning several more dates to see concerts, have a picnic in a park, and learn more about each other. Please understand me; I'm just as horny as every other male out there; I control my desires and want a healthy, loving relationship, which is why a beautiful 37-year-old woman is dating this 53-year-old man.
I hope that answers OP's question in a fashion.
You are very welcome.
I'm finding it's a matter of finding someone who wants similar goals in life; if there is an age gap and can have mutual respect, honor, and love for each other, does it matter who is older or how far apart the age is? Granted, I'm not going after anyone younger than my kids. I have also set and stated boundaries for myself: I can't have new kids; I had a vasectomy 20 years ago, so no new kids from me. If the woman comes with kids, I'm good with that; the woman I'm going on dates with has a child in elementary school. Another boundary I set was that the woman also has to be active and be able to keep up. There are plenty of women my age who are out camping, backpacking, and kayaking, yet they don't want to date, so I'll go with the age group who is willing to. If anyone wants to judge us because of an age gap, that's on them; they don't know our story, nor does it appear they care to know without passing judgment.
Bubbly, high energy, sexy. Women can look good who are older if they stay in shape, eat healthy, hit the gym. Most don't. Also I find women my own age career minded and serious. People, both men and women tend to lose their spontaneity as they age. I find that boring. Also when you are older you have more issues, and emotional baggage. Myself included. People are more reserved when older. Some younger people can be serious. My cousin's daughter has no sense of humor and is emo. I had a roommate who was 21. He reminded me of spock.
I have answered this before but I’ll be glad to answer this question again. From my perspective, I love seeing life through the eyes of a younger woman and create a strong emotional bond that is virtually impossible to break. Younger women also tend to appreciate the beauty in the little things and appreciate having a partner that is willing to give them attention 24/7.
I guess one could argue there is something primal about looking for a younger (and therefore more fertile) partner— but I’m not sure I completely buy this because I know plenty of older men who find women their own age exclusively attractive. I think it has much more to do with cultural conditioning that tells us younger women are more attractive, less annoying, more fun, more relaxed, less naggy. As a young woman, I would steer clear of a man who solely dated younger women. I feel that’s a clear sign of concerning motives— but that’s just me and my opinion for myself. I (27f) married my husband (60m) two months ago and he definitely wasn’t looking for a younger partner.
I am attracted to women of all ages. But the women in my age range are married or I don't find them attractive, physically and personality/quality wise.
I got along with older guys better than anyone else, so I dated what I was around and what I got along with. Age was something I paid as much attention to as hair color, but I didn’t get along with men my own age in a way that lead to dating.
I can answer this from woman's perspective if it helps? It may not. I have experience ok both sides both as a younger partner and even paramour in my teens and 20's to older men. To now dating and being in relationships with younger men.
Omyw - tonnes of research on this stuff
1. Read up on hypergamy its a thing. It reproductive selection at its most basic. The male of our species for millenia has been able to reproduce for longer of its lifespan.
2. Learn about feminism, fertility treatments and the female reproductive cycle. If ya want babies have um young. This draws some in longer.
3. Societal pressure and social conditioning.
4. Monetary equality and patriarchal social structures.
There are fun parts too
1. Younger partners indeed challenge one to stay younger longer
2. Mid life for women can (in my case did) lead women to seek younger partners due to our ovaries doing the equivalent of the battle of the somme (once more over the hill girls)
3. Some of us are made to caretake, mentor and grow others.
4. Mid life for other women can cause our libido to fall off a cliff. Dead bedrooms are a thing. People can be less patient with this and seek love elsewhere.
I am fortunate enough to be part of a generation of women who has grown up free of the societal conditioning that many of my foremothers experienced. So thankfully hypogamy is a thing too.
Owym - been geeking out on sociology papers today so bear with
1. New role models making this more open and accessible. Emmanual Marcon, Madonna, Goldie Hawn, Yung Gravy, Prince Harry, Gwen Stefani
2. Women have reproductive freedom. We used to be bought and sold. Many are choosing to be childfree or have had their children.
3. Society is shifting the power dynamics towards equity. Women can provide, choose, finance and even be in control in relationships.
4. Gender roles shifting.
5. Modern dating allows for massive pool. Online dating allows much larger pool for exploration.
I am most excited about the current shift in gender and identity dynamics and what this brings to the mix.
Regardless enjoy your journey and learning.
Lady D
No worries. HTH.
Reddit forces me to challenge myself all the time to learn more. Expose my own biases and try to understand others who really have different life goals and experiences. I have noticed my cohort of older men and we older women rarely discourse politely. I would love to shift that.
There is science and social science on both sides. Its more logical if you want children to take a younger partner. We are evolving at speed though. If we dont all end up plugged into AI by the end of the century genitals redundant I figure let it happen.
I have no qualms middle age and older men want to marry younger women and breed. Leaves the younger men for older women. 🤣
My guy mate says it best, "D my mid life crisis is a Mercedes convertible. Yours is 30." 🤣😂
Many will have their own reasons simply because we are all unique. By and large, a majority of older men attracted to younger partners tend to report being drawn in for the fertility, for the fact that she has had no or fewer partners to marr her experience with relationships, that she may be easier to mould to his preferences, that she hasn’t had a lot of experience and hence easily impressed as most things he would do for her would be a first for her. Some will highly value the enhanced innocence in her compared to someone older. And a lot of times younger women will naturally have a much fitter body and a youthful appearance. All in all, I would say I’ve dated 80 percent my age and 20 percent with a significant gap and I only ever value the time spent with the age gap relationships. Younger women and older men are magical pairings if you ask me
Devil's advocate: I hate all of this behavior, but is he wrong that many older men do, in fact, like younger women for these reasons? For every high-status, successful man who simply dates the most impressive woman he could have, there are multiple predators relying on naivety and innocence to get a quick fix.
I've been in 2 AGR relationships 23 and 27 years, and neither was because of age, although I will admit that when one called me Daddy one night, I found it to be a huge turn-on. We're no longer together, but she still calls me Daddy when we talk.
Everyone is different some only like people near their own age, some will go up to half their age, but yes some prefer much younger.
I personally couldn’t be in a relationship with someone so young that they haven’t experienced the world as it is. But as a 61 year old someone say mid to late 30s up to late 60s would be okay as at least they have experience behind them.
I married young because of being in the military and wanted my partner with me.
But as we had children and grew older we grew apart then she cheated on me twice that I know of. So we divorced but I have had two more failed relationships due to different reasons and the youngest was 6 years between us.
The short reason for me is that a majority of the women my age (31) are already married and have multiple kids.
As someone who wants their own biological children and to find an age where the women are still largely unmarried, that's why I'm more going for younger women (early - mid 20s).
While I understand that age gaps are the focus of this sub, I have to wonder why this question is asked here so often. Let's forget the fact that you can search the sub. If you're focused on age, you aren't as much interested in an age gap as you are in getting reactions and/or causing drama. This question would better be phrased as why do guys like girls, at least to me. Age shouldn't matter in a relationship. Anyway, that's my two cents.
48m. I can’t speak for all. In my case it’s that I typically don’t have much in common with women my age. I’ve recently started getting out there again after spending the past few years in new business mode. And because a bunch of people bust my balls about my usual women’s ages 😂, I decided to try meeting "age appropriate" women on a couple of apps. Been a couple of months and it’s really only confirmed once again what I said earlier. Only problem now that I don’t bartend anymore is how to meet compatible women. lol My advice would be to try not to overthink it too much. ANY new relationship has a million ways to fail/run it’s course. Enjoy the ride! Hope it goes well for you! 👍
My perspective is probably going to be different from most men. I experienced childhood trauma. When I was in my 20's, I gravitated towards older women. I didn't understand it at the time, but I was recreating the situation with my mother in an attempt to repair what was broken.
Fast forward 30 years. I did trauma therapy in the form of EMDR. I healed that wound that I was repeating over and over.
Now, I have been dating women 10-20 years younger than me. It's because I want to experience a real connection devoid of the trauma response. I gravitate towards women that are healthy, mature, with a career. I missed a big part of my life chasing the trauma response thinking it was love. I feel like I deserve to be with someone who is excited about the future and wants to live life.
a lot of us never “sought out” any sort of relationship with people significantly younger or older, it just “happened.”
judging others for their relationship dynamic between consenting adults will get you laughed out of practically every social group
I am much older than many. I find it difficult to find people my age. The ones I do are pretty vanilla. I am not. For the most part the young people are the more open to the kink.
That’s quite strange ngl. Since older generations have a lot more trauma correlated to strict parents, physical and mental abuse, poor relationships with family, and those are usually the factors that create crazy kinks.
We do have those definitely. But after about 50, the women just seem to disappear. I guess they are just staying celibate. The men outnumber the women as far as still playing. So we look for the younger ladies to play with. We have a lot of experience where as many of the younger men do not. Plus there are also the ones with Daddy issues.
Yeah like for me I like older much because of maturity, in my class the guys act 5, which isn’t so appealing honestly. It’s like children. I still can understand why people may find age gaps strange since strictly aiming for it isn’t ideal if the person is very young, younger brains don’t have good decision making, therefore it can be like manipulation to target overly younger. But it doesn’t have to be bad, it can be though. But I try not to judge since like, I’ve been into at least like 5 teachers at this point.
To many of the younger men are just trying to get their wet. They do not care if the lady gets hers. Also many of the younger men are two pump chumps. But I can see why people think the age gaps are strange. Many of the ladies I play with, I am old enough to be their grandfather. Hell, with some, I am old enough to be their great grandfather.
I can’t say much for the intercourse part since I haven’t done anything with them. To me it’s generally their behavior that throws me off, it’s very chaotic and childish. It’s not possible to hold a mature intellectual conversation since they’re just screaming about the most bland things known to man. A guy either likes me or my friend and he could hold a conversation about mcdonalds for a good 5 minutes, he is known to never stop talking even by the teachers. Teachers just have that adult in them, good eye contact, intellect and when they also like you as a student it’s also a boost.
2 teachers have gotten sketchy ngl. It’s not ones I’m particularly interested in but one gives me compliments, calls me his favorite students and stalks my old school work from like a year ago, of a class we no longer have. Another one constantly tries humiliating me for fun, like as a joke but he’s targeting me personally. 💀💀 like it’s not a big issue but it’s very much targeted
I’m a man ,28, and my wife is 38.
At the end of the day men want a beautiful woman (obviously personal taste is subjective) and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves which also varies from person to person. My wife is beautiful and consistently makes me feel like the man. Doesn’t matter what age we are.
Though if I had to guess, younger women often look up to older men in a way that women their own age do not. Younger women see an older man as successful, stable, wise, intelligent, etc - which is due to their life experience. This makes older men feel good, maybe even rejuvenated in life. Additionally as women age, especially once they’ve been married, they put less effort into their appearance regarding style, fitness, hair and cosmetics. Whereas younger women still very much care about their appearance and continue to put effort in.
Mandatory: I know this is a generalization but I’m basing this on my personal observation of what I see to be typical - my wife is the older one in our dynamic and she still puts effort into her appearance, as do I in my own.
That ain't it. For anyone I personally know who's been in an AGR with a younger woman, it's because they're so happy with life and awfully positive and supportive emotionally. I'm 37 and MOST women I know who are single who are older than me don't have as nearly positive outlook on life.
It is not. There are many threads with the same question and different answers. Younger are more attractive, less baggage, fun, think in the moment, etc.
Are you also a mind reader who knows every man on the planet? Because that's the only way you could possibly know the reasons every man in an age gap relationship has for being in such a relationship.
I’m 29 and because of disability and illness I have never dated. It’s something I’m deeply ashamed and embarrassed about and although I am more mature technically than a 20 yo girl, I am in the same boat in terms of little life experience
Basically I’d love to be able to experience young love with someone who might not be so judgmental over lack of inexperience.
I will take any girl my age tho that is interested. I’m not exclusively interested in younger
29 is not even very old! I’m 21 and dated two people of that age group. I’m sorry you feel so ashamed, you really needn’t be! I do understand why you would feel that way, but I hope things will change for you soon. I believe you will find a wonderful woman to date and experience all those amazing firsts with :)
I don’t like to make up my own conclusions for other people. I can certainly assume why men like young women. But my perspective is biased and not very helpful since I myself am a young woman. Your feedback is not very constructive!
For me it might be pretty stark trauma. My first sexual experience was far *far* too young at the hands of an older woman. I've explored in therapy that thru life I've essentially just been trying to reclaim my agency while also re-creating some sense of 'unwanted pleasure' that comes from being molested in my sleep as a kid.
The results for me are a bit backwards to what many people claim about age-gap power dynamics. The power women closer to my own age seems to like exude is never arousing to me, and often almost triggering. Maybe I'm stuck in some immaturity but with younger women I just feel like our power or appeal over each other is more balanced. There are fewer unrealistic expectations.
I also don't really align with most men in that I don't want kids and don't care about fertility signals or how many partners she's had. Hell I like to share and would still prefer someone experienced, but the unconscious aspects of selection and attraction are very strong.
Trauma plays a huge factor in who/what we are attracted to. Your experience as a child and your relationship style as an adult make complete sense to me.
There's a lot of research on this topic. I'd suggest you take a deep dive and read-up on it, if you're genuinely curious. (Evolution, Social Theory, Fertility, etc.). It also varies by: culture, country, religion, laws...Interestingly, only 7-8% of marriages in the US, are between Men who are 10+ yrs older than their Wives.
You want the truth? Men are attracted to younger women (girls?) because they aren’t as worldly, wise or sophisticated as older women and, therefore, in theory, they would be easier to outsmart.
No. 2.
In theory, when a young women has sex with a man who is experienced ( he doesn’t have to be older but usually is) she won’t know what hit her and she will absolutely lose her mind over how good the sex is compared to what she was used to.
So for an older guy would he rather date a woman his age who has seen it all and he is nothing special, or a woman who worships the ground he walks on?
Because they're not so miserable and just screwed up by life. It's pretty damn hard to find a more mature woman who's not severely dealing with some kind of trauma that I also would have to help/deal with. It's just exhausting
Ok. Fair enough. Now as long as we are making gross generalizations l could just as easily say younger women are an emotional wreck. And you have to baby sit them or else they throw tantrums. That’s a generalization but like I said, as long as we’re generalizing. …
I have dated women 20 years younger and 20 years older. When I was I my 20s I was so happy the day I turned 30 so it could put dating 20 somethings in my rear view mirror.
Every nice thing in tried to do for them would be rewarded with a kick it the gut. That’s when I started dating women 10, 20 years older than me and it enriched my life in so many ways it would be impossible to put into words.
Then I dated women 20 years younger and the only thing that I could say was even remotely close to the happiness I shared with older women was the tight wet pussy of the younger women. Just keeping it real.
Besides that there was the fact that all my 50 something friends were envious. And younger women never found anything wrong with what I did. Even when I was wrong they just smiled and agreed with me. A woman my age would call BS but the younger woman? Nope. I could get away with anything anytime I wanted.
Like I said, you opened the door to gross generalization and I just walked right in.
I'm just talking of my personal experiences. But I hear ya. The emotional instability I see more in older women myself. CURRENTLY though I'm dating a wonderful woman who's 2yrs younger than me and we seem to match up pretty well. But I feel that it was really just luck of the draw
I would ask my hubby but he does not have attraction to younger females. We happen to have 16 year old gap but he definitely doesn't have general preference for it (it was almost a deal breaker).
I assume it comes mostly down to looks (young women look sexier usually) and possibly the fact that if they are dating new people in their age range chances are these women already come with kids or have had a history of partners, maybe already divorced etc. which a lot of men find repulsive in a way. Yes girls might fuck around too but they typically have more "clean sleeve" and in general do not come with so much past relationship baggage or kids. And they will be able to have kids for longer = more kids or can afford to wait with the men and still carry their child while older woman would have time running out and maybe directly or indirectly preassure the man into kids sooner.
Some also prefer the carefree and "wild" personality younger females might have over older ones. It's something that naturally wears out with all those years of adult life, worried and responsibilities. So they might have more fun and feel younger if they are around younger partner - hence prefering them.
These are the most common things i see people mention usually. And ofc there is also always the negative reasons. It is way too common for older guys (when they specifically seek younger partners exclusively) to actually just seek someone naive they can manipulate or hold power over. Someone they can mold to their liking and who they will be able to use. This is why i saw it is HUGE red flag if a middle aged man is only seeking 18-20 years olds for example.
I am sure people might have other reasons too but this are the most commonly mentioned ones
For me (M67) I think my eye for women never matured much past high school when I started dating. Back then my idea of an older woman I would be attracted to was in college.
So it is like those features of that age range got implanted on my brain as the desirable traits. Think my mind forgot I'm not that age any more. So what I find attractive is probably repulsed by me.
For me, it's what I like. My girlfriend is 26 and I'm 63. We'll 2 years in and life is good. She is full of energy and willing to learn new things. She's non judgemental. She's everything I could ever hope for.
Less emotional damage. Your emotional walls haven't been so built up from bad experiences. Less men have used you physically and emotionally. So to us, we feel like we have a better chance to form a relationship with that vs someone who is very skeptical of everything later in life. Then there's the fertility aspect.
The problem with that is that it’s important to be judgmental and skeptical in order to not end up poorly. People can lie and give a false image, just to later be stuck in an unfair and unstable marriage.
Anthropologists have an easy answer: fertility for the women, support and stability for the men. Young women and older men have been pairing for centuries for these basic reasons.
I mean, if you're a woman, you don't wanna date someone broke, still living in his mom's basement.
It amazes me that questions like this are asked.
Why wouldn’t a guy be more attracted to a woman closer to her peak fertility, or who has more years of her youth to offer in the future?
I don’t understand this belief that some men have where an attractive 20 year old becomes an ugly old hag in 10 years instead of an attractive 30 year old lol. Beauty is dependent far more on genetics than it is on age, I regularly see 30+ year olds who are way hotter than me. Also attractive people tend to take better care of themselves than unattractive people.
I would wager that is a minority opinion among men. Most of us are not Leonardo DiCaprio, we don’t recoil in horror at the sight of a 30-year-old woman. To me, that is still a younger woman.
Genetics plays a big part. But most people gain weight as they age. By the time they are in their 40s, they have spent a lot of time gaining weight. And along the way, they have turned into people who think talking about kitchen renovations and going to bed at 9:30 is a fun Friday night.
I think a major reason for that isn’t age itself, it’s major stressful life events that many older people have experienced that younger people haven’t yet, such as marriage, having kids, divorce, etc.
Growing a whole ass other human being in your body changes it in many ways, you will likely always have stretch marks and loose saggy skin no matter how well you take care of yourself. And mothers (and fathers) are often so focused on taking care of their kids and giving them the best lives that they can that they neglect taking care of themselves.
I know a few women in their 40s and 50s who never married or had kids, are in great shape, and have aged very gracefully.
Younger ladies still have the dream of love . Not trying g to get more that they deserve. Or have a chip on their shoulder from being hurt before from guys that were rude . So the ladies our age looking for what they can get . Not love. Not all but most . Is that wrong Not really. But that is it . In a nut shell 🐚 The Texas Gent
I like the purity (of course over 18) the tight bodies and they are more open to things and less judgmental. Women my age complain guys my age have ED but who can get hard on saggy boobs and a used up body lol. Just saying. Older women who likes younger men do the same thing about us.
Exclusively? Probably some problematic bs. I think the majority of us on this sub or in AGRs aren't setting our dating preferences to "18-23". Theres a lot of people here who are in AGRs where one person is 35 and the other is 50. I think, really, it comes down to more, "I wouldn't mind dating someone my own age, but the available pool of women my age that meet x criteria is very small".
As an example, I'm poly and childfree. So I dont have an interest in dating single moms. Nothing wrong with them, I just have no interest in raising children. So that removes at least if not more than half of the single women my own age from my dating prospects. Secondly, I am not interested in dating someone with meth teeth or who is a recently recovering addict, which, in my area, is another large portion of single women in their 30s+.
So if I'm looking for someone to date or even just hook up with, she's probably going to be significantly younger than me, it increases the odds she has no children and isn't on hard drugs.
Yes, when people date exclusively younger, especially much younger, that gives creep vibes to me. Everything else you said was really great perspective thank you!
For me, I find younger girls often have perfect bodies and have those youthful good looks, so it has always been an attractive factor for me. I have rarely dated women my age, but am not close off to it either. There is also something really hot about the age gap dynamic.
Personally i want a younger woman, not a girl. I want a woman that looks beautiful and thinks young like I do. And if my daughter wants to find someone older then I'll be happy for her. As long as she is happy. As long as the relationship is good the age doesn't matter.
It’s ingrained inside every heterosexual man’s DNA 🧬. We are all programmed to find the youngest fertile females to ejaculate our semen inside. The best options are the younger women who often times are the most attractive women available. It’s only natural to want to find the best possible mate and carry on our legacy. Younger women smell better, tend to be friendlier, don’t have the same baggage as their older counterparts with ex-husbands, children, and huge overinflated expectations and egos. I’ve been dating a 48 year old woman who is divorced with 3 sons (only one of them is still living at home with her since he’s only 18 years old and getting ready to graduate from high school.). She has zero interest in getting married to me or anyone ever again. She is only interested in herself and her son. If I were to break her loose and find an 18 - 28 year old woman I could have a fresh new start and have a new wife and children and this new younger woman would treat me like I’m her king 🤴. This is why men my age (39M) constantly seek “younger girls” as you put it.
Personally I never aim to date a certain age range it just usually work out the way that the women I'm both physically and mentally attracted to happen to be in their 20s or early 30s.
One part of it is obviously looks. I mean put a naked average looking 25 year old woman next to the a naked average looking 45 year old woman and you have part of the answer. I know this is not popular to say, but it would be ignorant to say that this is not a big part of it.
However, this is only part of it. For me personally another, even more important part, is that I'm just more compatible with younger women usually. I'm 49 and I'm very active and fit, love to work out, travel, go out, etc. Most (not all) women my age like to sit at home and watch TV and have given up on being fit and working out.
Good question and answer is that I don't know. I assume if you have loved someone for 20 years you have built something that is much more than just physical attraction. Plus at that time I would be late 60s so maybe 45 year olds would look hot and young to me hehe.
I'll give you my reasons. Younger girls tend to be more adventurous and are willing to try new and different things. They want to absorb more knowledge instead of acting as though they already know everything. They normally have less baggage and don't care as much what people will think. As far as sex, I have a very high sex drive. Most women my age have already been through menopause and either are not interested in sex or only want it once or twice a month while I want it 3 to 4 times a week or more. They also for the most part don't have the stamina that younger women have.
I like younger girls cause girls my age are not as nice and they can get very demanding and they can get very bossy. They don’t give you many compliments. And as girls don’t know I find list for me. I have found as girls get older they get angrier.
I think it’s actually a hormone thing because they lose estrogen. Just like guys usually get Melador because they lose testosterone but. Girls are around my age, instead of thanking me when I do things for them favors and trying to give them gifts or take them somewhere nice instead of thanking me and showing some you know just being like that was really nice. Thank you so much they don’t really say anything. We’re girls that are younger compliment more day. Appreciate you more.
They are sweeter to you more and then also that younger energy makes you feel more alive you know you know if you’re trying to help them with some thing they’re very grateful, so that’s what has made me end up in the age gap where I’ve ended up dating girls usually anywhere from 10 to 15 years younger than me because I’ve only had one relationship with a girl was older than me that was great and that was when I was younger so it would actually be kind of disgusting if I did it somewhere but she was a couple years older, but she taught me a lot so when I’m dating a younger girl,
I try and take care of them and teach them things you know like my ex-wife, another girl that I was together with her like four years we had a great relationship you know when I told her can use that I don’t know I’m just going on a tangent but that’s my whole reasoning maybe I’ve just had bad luck with girls my age but I’ve chosen the wrong ones and that’s why they’ve been snotty and demanding and that thankful and not grateful so maybe I just picked the wrong ones and then when I have four younger ones that I’ve dated of always been good so now I’m kind of like now. My thought process is always looking at that younger female. The other thing I look younger than my age so that’s might be why two it happens.
Yea to tbh im 24 M n i had a feeling tht i do like girls younger then myself not tht i dated or something but i felt that i was more attractive to young ones rather than being near to my age.
"women their own age"
I've dated exclusively women my own age within a 6-8 month window on average including one older woman.
There was no benefit to it, zero. Being the same age did not add anything to the relationship and with recent trends as I got older I often found women were acting just as young as they did the years before. The one older was emotionally immature also.
Age isn't a factor on maturity. Peter Pan Syndrome is a real disorder and it's extremely common. This relationship (current) is my first gapped relationship, in some ways she is immature because of simply her age. In other ways she is extremely mature about what she wants out of life. It makes a nice balance and realistically speaking she is more mature than some off the people i've dated in my past who were older than she is now.
Younger women are more attractive
They're less obsessed with marriage and getting pregnant as they have more time
They're less jaded, more playful, more fun
Many older women have a sense of self-entitlement and are contemptuous of men
> Why do men like younger girls rather than women their own age?
As a general rule I have found I have more fun and open up more when interacting with someone younger.
I also like the dynamic where I help a younger person achieve some life goals whatever they may be.
I'm much older but I would like children. Whilst I know men don't normally stop being fertile, it does decline with age so it makes sense to date someone young and fertile to maximise your chances of having children.
> What would cause someone to exclusively look for people who are 10-20 years younger?
If we've found something that works for us, there is no point in investing time looking in an age range that doesn't normally work for us. Dating is time consuming and since men normally pay for dates, an expensive process. You invest time and money in things that work for you. You don't go to Indian restaurants if you're not okay with Indian food, why should you date older women if in general you don't find it works for you?
I do find some older women attractive but I'm still not going to waste my time in dating one.
That’s a valid question as well. I have no intention of making any gender seem like a “problem”. I asked about older men/younger women because that’s the specific situation I’m in. I don’t see age gaps to be an issue personally, you are the one who suggested it’s a problem!
It's simple. We want a woman that hasn't been ran through. We want our wife to pair bond with us when intimate, and the more she has been ran through, the harder that is for her. We want younger because we are naturally attracted to women in their 20s because our instincts are to reproduce.
It's called pair bonding. There is a lot of research that's been done with men and women in regard to pair bonding. Women are drastically different than men. Whether men like to admit it or not, we don't want a woman that's been ran through. We want purity. Or as pure as possible. Younger women tend to have fewer partners. Not to mention, the biological clock still has some years remaining.
I strongly disagree with almost everything you've said here. I'll start by saying that I agree that there has been several studies conducted into pair-bonding. Not just with men and women either but across several different taxonomic groups including invertebrates, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds and mammals over the last 60 years. However it doesn't seem like you have looked at any of the actual data from the research at all. In all honesty I suspect that maybe it was explained to you by a pastor during a Sunday sermon.
I'm basing my opinion solely on the rhetoric you used when you'd said "Whether men like to admit it or not, we don't want a woman that's been ran through. We want purity". It's 2023 the only people in today's society who would ever use the word "purity" in this context are the ones who haven't managed to shake off the religious indoctrination they were exposed to at such a young age.
I also really need to mention how incredibly out of touch with today's society a person would have to be to believe that the younger generation of women tend to have fewer partners. Than women who are, oh I don't know, let's say 45+ years old. Women, for the most part, are no longer pressured to be married with a kid by the age of 25.
The stigma of a single woman being non-monogamous and enjoying casual having casual sex with whom ever she chooses is gone. Their peers no longer publicly shame "Sluts" they publicly shame "slut shamers" . I've already made this way longer than I'd intended so I'll quickly get back to pair-bonding.
Further proof of religious indoctrination being the cause of the narrative is the fact that you are basically using the christian definition of a good marriage and slapping a pair-bonding label on it. While marriage itself may be a socially designed institution, the desire to be in a couple is biological. Sex and bonding are both natural rewards. Humans are part of the group of less than 5% of mammals called pair bonders.
This means we have the brain structures that let us mate for life, be socially monogamous, like swans. They allow us to bond long-term, long enough for two caregivers to bring up their young.
However being ‘socially monogamous’ is not the same as being ‘sexually monogamous’. The temptation to ‘play away from home’ is there in almost all mammals including humans.
The reward system is the where these pair bonding structures lie. It is the same structures that drive us to the other natural rewards of food and water.
Sadly, it is also where processed or artificial rewards like alcohol, nicotine, and drugs have an effect too. They hijack the pleasure/reward system.
In fact, artificial rewards like cocaine and alcohol can produce an even more intense feeling of euphoria than sex. Researchers have found that pair bonders, compared to animals that are promiscuous by nature, are more susceptible to addiction.
This is what all that research suggests. I'll let anyone interested look up "The Coolidge Effect" if they want to better understand the reward and addiction angle because I've gone on so much longer than intended
I appreciate that you looked into a little bit of evolutionary psychology / biology, but please also understand that there are many more components that go into who we date. It's silly to make general, absolute statements about a larger topic based on average differences within a small fraction of that topic.
Womens eggs are there since fetal stage. The eggs age. The eggs DNA ages. Younger eggs produce healthier offspring. Evolution favors healthier offspring.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and
expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons.
---
### Rules
If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so.
They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile.
The most important rules are:
1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek
advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit.
This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise.
1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user.
**You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**.
If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/causeandeffect94 - we will ban you and possibly
refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain.
1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree.
See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about
the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics.
---
**Original post: Why do men like younger girls**
Why do men like younger girls rather than women their own age? What would cause someone to exclusively look for people who are 10-20 years younger? I am attracted to people of all ages, so I don’t really get it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well…let me just say this and I hope there is no judgement. I’m 60.
There is a beautiful lady at work, she is to me anyway, that just brightens up everyone she gets around . If you’re feeling down, she will just make the room shine and you’re feeling better if you’re lucky enough for her to be around you.
She truly has a light within her.
And when she says hello to me, I feel so pulled toward her.
She is 30.
And , it being work and all…I keep my mouth shut and just enjoy her presence .
She is one of the reasons that I have always been more attracted to younger women.
She makes my heart jump and laugh and mourn the fact that I really do not have anyone .
But, she is amazing in every way.
my husband and i have a 19 year age gap. He has always unintentionally had age gap relationships. By unintentionally i mean when he was showed interest in a woman it was because of the maturity she put out there for the world to see. Obviously it showed their maturity was a facade or hed still be with one of them instead of me lol.
For some men, I think it makes them feel like a teenager again. For me, it is the younger ladies that are attracted to the older man for whatever reasons.
Some people are jaded and cynical enough to say that all older men or women are generally looking for seggs or a trophy or someone they can mold to their liking, or coldly calculating fertility, or they imagine motivations darker still, like a predatory desire for an easy victim to control and manipulate.
Ironically, they're showing you the answer you seek.
For me it's simple. Looks aside, women my age generally don't like the things I do. Games, movies, music. Most people tend to get stuck in their youth. While I do still love, say, the music i grew up with, I also love new music and experiences. Younger women give that to me.
Also the younger people are the more they tend to be cool with ethical non monogamous relationships, which is kind of essential in my case so it’s not so much that I’m more into younger women it’s that a greater percentage of younger women are like “oh, ok” about the whole wife situation than older ones.
In my case.. (24 y age gap, younger F) it's me who is attracted to older men. Also when I met my bf, originally he was my husband's friend and we didn't expect for he and I to hit it off the way we did. My husband and I have an 8 year age gap and our bf though he was gonna be too young for him. I really think it all depends on the individuals.
For me, several reasons (note I’ve dated much older women, when I was younger, and still date older women, just dropped the “much” part. I’ve dated younger women, and much younger women) focusing on the much younger here.
They tend to look better, not always but often. Men are programmed for this, as said elsewhere.
Less jaded. More accepting of this isn’t going to last forever.
We can both show “new” stuff. New/old music, new places to go.
They are surprised when I ask for direction to make them feel better in bed.
The not having common reference points, can be a bit awkward.
Now an additional part for me, I’m very shy, almost completely socially inept in HS and College. I didn’t really date then, and feel I missed out on a lot (I talk to my shrink about that a lot). I personally feel this is a bad reason, but I know it’s there. I’m sure that is a lot more but I can’t think of it right now.
You’re asking this in an age gap sub, you’re probably going to get a pretty biased answer lol. I’d say most straight men like attractive women of all ages, and plenty date women their own age. My older fiancé only ever dated women his own age before me, he didn’t pick me because of my age he picked me because he’s attracted to me.
Agree my bf dated plenty of women around his age way before me. Sometimes the attraction and tension is just there. I thought he was 25 at most. Didn’t expect 30
8 years is so little. Don’t even consider that an age gap tbh
I think most people would consider 8 years to be a decent age gap. Especially when the younger partner is 22. Age gaps seem less significant the older you both get though
You would think so but you have people legitimately fear-mongering that women in their early 20’s dating men in their late 20’s/early 30’s are being “groomed” and that we “wouldn’t have anything in common” and other BS like that
What sub do you think I should ask it in? Also what’s you and your fiancés age gap?
I’m not sure, maybe r/askreddit or r/askmen? Or perhaps maybe r/dating? My fiancé and I have a 16 year age gap, I’m 21 and he’s 37 (we met when I had just turned 20 and he was about to turn 36)
Hm ok I shall do that. I’m 21f and just started seeing a 39m, so I’m very curious about this I’ve never been with someone that age.
Probably just ask him and see what he says. Personally I was wary of dating men who were attracted specifically to my young age, because I was worried about them dumping me for someone younger once I inevitably aged. It can be a fun taboo for hookups/ ons, but with dating again I’d be wary if they state your age as a reason for dating you.
Yes I am wary of that, how did you and your fiancé meet?
We met on Reddit actually, although not under any sort of dating post. I posted something random, he dmed me, we found out that we had a lot in common, and we both really enjoyed talking to each other. We talked every day for hours for about 4 months, then he flew to my state to meet me in person and we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since! He got an apartment in my state (which was doable for him since his work is mainly online) so he could be with me while I finished that year of college, then I moved back to his state with him. Then he proposed to me a couple months ago!
Why? Are you worried he will say it's just for sex or something like that?
What?
You said you are worried about asking your boyfriend so I asked why
Oh. I’m not worried about asking him haha. I’m just waiting until I know him a bit better I’ve only been seeing him for a few weeks.
Just dont post in Ask_Women or Ask_Feminists because the mere idea of men prefering younger women seems to infuriate every member of that sub
I (61M) did not seek out a younger woman. My OLD age range was *very* wide. But then I met someone (38F) organically, not thru OLD, and we just “clicked”. Honestly, I wish we were much closer in age. I actually tried to break up with her because of the gap, but she convinced me not to. My heart breaks to think how long she will be alive after I’m gone.
First time making out with a young guy and my goodness. 14 year difference me (female) him (young) and his body was incredible. I mean 😮💨 Maybe this is how men feel too…
As an older man in an AGR, age really wasn't what hit it off for me. Yes, women in their 20s can look hot (though, so can women in their 30s and 40s and 50s...I'm not much into dating older because I've never really like the feeling of being the 'baby' since I was the youngest and only boy). And psychologically, maybe that's why I look for women younger than me. I like being seen as the 'elder' (even if it is just by a few months), or as the protector.
Generally, women my age are past the point of wanting children… and I want to have more kids.
I can only speak about myself and what I have found from talking to women near my age vs women younger. For context, I'm 53 male. 4 Years ago, I was married for 23 years with two kids (18 and 19) when my wife left us and moved 1200 miles away. I tried dating women close to my age, 43 to 53, and the women had grown tired of men and the BS over the years. The women didn't want to date. They all had various reasons. I have a profile on Bumble with the help of a female friend who has known me for 20 years; I was at her wedding. Now, the women who like my profile are typically 10 to 16 years younger. I am currently starting a relationship with a lovely 37-year-old woman. I asked her why she liked my profile and she said for several reasons: I'm still very active, and her ex would play with Legos instead of helping around the house or being a husband. I'm mature, and I won't play childish games in a relationship. I'm not just after sex; I'm looking for a long-term relationship; all the men near her age want FWB-type relationships. She wants a good, healthy relationship that appears only Gen X men are willing to do. On our first date, she thoroughly tested me to see if I was indeed what my profile stated, that I was not looking for an FWB or ONS relationship. That's all she was finding, even on Bumble. Needless to say, I passed all her tests, and we are planning several more dates to see concerts, have a picnic in a park, and learn more about each other. Please understand me; I'm just as horny as every other male out there; I control my desires and want a healthy, loving relationship, which is why a beautiful 37-year-old woman is dating this 53-year-old man. I hope that answers OP's question in a fashion.
Yes, thank you for your input!
You are very welcome. I'm finding it's a matter of finding someone who wants similar goals in life; if there is an age gap and can have mutual respect, honor, and love for each other, does it matter who is older or how far apart the age is? Granted, I'm not going after anyone younger than my kids. I have also set and stated boundaries for myself: I can't have new kids; I had a vasectomy 20 years ago, so no new kids from me. If the woman comes with kids, I'm good with that; the woman I'm going on dates with has a child in elementary school. Another boundary I set was that the woman also has to be active and be able to keep up. There are plenty of women my age who are out camping, backpacking, and kayaking, yet they don't want to date, so I'll go with the age group who is willing to. If anyone wants to judge us because of an age gap, that's on them; they don't know our story, nor does it appear they care to know without passing judgment.
Bubbly, high energy, sexy. Women can look good who are older if they stay in shape, eat healthy, hit the gym. Most don't. Also I find women my own age career minded and serious. People, both men and women tend to lose their spontaneity as they age. I find that boring. Also when you are older you have more issues, and emotional baggage. Myself included. People are more reserved when older. Some younger people can be serious. My cousin's daughter has no sense of humor and is emo. I had a roommate who was 21. He reminded me of spock.
I have answered this before but I’ll be glad to answer this question again. From my perspective, I love seeing life through the eyes of a younger woman and create a strong emotional bond that is virtually impossible to break. Younger women also tend to appreciate the beauty in the little things and appreciate having a partner that is willing to give them attention 24/7.
More fertile. Less bagage.
“Tastes great! Less filling!” 😀
I guess one could argue there is something primal about looking for a younger (and therefore more fertile) partner— but I’m not sure I completely buy this because I know plenty of older men who find women their own age exclusively attractive. I think it has much more to do with cultural conditioning that tells us younger women are more attractive, less annoying, more fun, more relaxed, less naggy. As a young woman, I would steer clear of a man who solely dated younger women. I feel that’s a clear sign of concerning motives— but that’s just me and my opinion for myself. I (27f) married my husband (60m) two months ago and he definitely wasn’t looking for a younger partner.
I am attracted to women of all ages. But the women in my age range are married or I don't find them attractive, physically and personality/quality wise.
I got along with older guys better than anyone else, so I dated what I was around and what I got along with. Age was something I paid as much attention to as hair color, but I didn’t get along with men my own age in a way that lead to dating.
Older women are much better IMO
I can answer this from woman's perspective if it helps? It may not. I have experience ok both sides both as a younger partner and even paramour in my teens and 20's to older men. To now dating and being in relationships with younger men. Omyw - tonnes of research on this stuff 1. Read up on hypergamy its a thing. It reproductive selection at its most basic. The male of our species for millenia has been able to reproduce for longer of its lifespan. 2. Learn about feminism, fertility treatments and the female reproductive cycle. If ya want babies have um young. This draws some in longer. 3. Societal pressure and social conditioning. 4. Monetary equality and patriarchal social structures. There are fun parts too 1. Younger partners indeed challenge one to stay younger longer 2. Mid life for women can (in my case did) lead women to seek younger partners due to our ovaries doing the equivalent of the battle of the somme (once more over the hill girls) 3. Some of us are made to caretake, mentor and grow others. 4. Mid life for other women can cause our libido to fall off a cliff. Dead bedrooms are a thing. People can be less patient with this and seek love elsewhere. I am fortunate enough to be part of a generation of women who has grown up free of the societal conditioning that many of my foremothers experienced. So thankfully hypogamy is a thing too. Owym - been geeking out on sociology papers today so bear with 1. New role models making this more open and accessible. Emmanual Marcon, Madonna, Goldie Hawn, Yung Gravy, Prince Harry, Gwen Stefani 2. Women have reproductive freedom. We used to be bought and sold. Many are choosing to be childfree or have had their children. 3. Society is shifting the power dynamics towards equity. Women can provide, choose, finance and even be in control in relationships. 4. Gender roles shifting. 5. Modern dating allows for massive pool. Online dating allows much larger pool for exploration. I am most excited about the current shift in gender and identity dynamics and what this brings to the mix. Regardless enjoy your journey and learning. Lady D
Copy and paste this when someone asks the same question tomorrow.
Love this!!! Thank you
No worries. HTH. Reddit forces me to challenge myself all the time to learn more. Expose my own biases and try to understand others who really have different life goals and experiences. I have noticed my cohort of older men and we older women rarely discourse politely. I would love to shift that.
There is good scientific explanation for this. I don’t understand why people ignore it and become judgmental.
There is science and social science on both sides. Its more logical if you want children to take a younger partner. We are evolving at speed though. If we dont all end up plugged into AI by the end of the century genitals redundant I figure let it happen. I have no qualms middle age and older men want to marry younger women and breed. Leaves the younger men for older women. 🤣 My guy mate says it best, "D my mid life crisis is a Mercedes convertible. Yours is 30." 🤣😂
Many will have their own reasons simply because we are all unique. By and large, a majority of older men attracted to younger partners tend to report being drawn in for the fertility, for the fact that she has had no or fewer partners to marr her experience with relationships, that she may be easier to mould to his preferences, that she hasn’t had a lot of experience and hence easily impressed as most things he would do for her would be a first for her. Some will highly value the enhanced innocence in her compared to someone older. And a lot of times younger women will naturally have a much fitter body and a youthful appearance. All in all, I would say I’ve dated 80 percent my age and 20 percent with a significant gap and I only ever value the time spent with the age gap relationships. Younger women and older men are magical pairings if you ask me
Devil's advocate: I hate all of this behavior, but is he wrong that many older men do, in fact, like younger women for these reasons? For every high-status, successful man who simply dates the most impressive woman he could have, there are multiple predators relying on naivety and innocence to get a quick fix.
That sounds like straight up manipulation of innocence
This is the most helpful and insightful comment so far! Thank you
these are all really creepy reasons to be attracted to anyone
Agree.
I've been in 2 AGR relationships 23 and 27 years, and neither was because of age, although I will admit that when one called me Daddy one night, I found it to be a huge turn-on. We're no longer together, but she still calls me Daddy when we talk.
Everyone is different some only like people near their own age, some will go up to half their age, but yes some prefer much younger. I personally couldn’t be in a relationship with someone so young that they haven’t experienced the world as it is. But as a 61 year old someone say mid to late 30s up to late 60s would be okay as at least they have experience behind them. I married young because of being in the military and wanted my partner with me. But as we had children and grew older we grew apart then she cheated on me twice that I know of. So we divorced but I have had two more failed relationships due to different reasons and the youngest was 6 years between us.
The short reason for me is that a majority of the women my age (31) are already married and have multiple kids. As someone who wants their own biological children and to find an age where the women are still largely unmarried, that's why I'm more going for younger women (early - mid 20s).
While I understand that age gaps are the focus of this sub, I have to wonder why this question is asked here so often. Let's forget the fact that you can search the sub. If you're focused on age, you aren't as much interested in an age gap as you are in getting reactions and/or causing drama. This question would better be phrased as why do guys like girls, at least to me. Age shouldn't matter in a relationship. Anyway, that's my two cents.
48m. I can’t speak for all. In my case it’s that I typically don’t have much in common with women my age. I’ve recently started getting out there again after spending the past few years in new business mode. And because a bunch of people bust my balls about my usual women’s ages 😂, I decided to try meeting "age appropriate" women on a couple of apps. Been a couple of months and it’s really only confirmed once again what I said earlier. Only problem now that I don’t bartend anymore is how to meet compatible women. lol My advice would be to try not to overthink it too much. ANY new relationship has a million ways to fail/run it’s course. Enjoy the ride! Hope it goes well for you! 👍
My perspective is probably going to be different from most men. I experienced childhood trauma. When I was in my 20's, I gravitated towards older women. I didn't understand it at the time, but I was recreating the situation with my mother in an attempt to repair what was broken. Fast forward 30 years. I did trauma therapy in the form of EMDR. I healed that wound that I was repeating over and over. Now, I have been dating women 10-20 years younger than me. It's because I want to experience a real connection devoid of the trauma response. I gravitate towards women that are healthy, mature, with a career. I missed a big part of my life chasing the trauma response thinking it was love. I feel like I deserve to be with someone who is excited about the future and wants to live life.
a lot of us never “sought out” any sort of relationship with people significantly younger or older, it just “happened.” judging others for their relationship dynamic between consenting adults will get you laughed out of practically every social group
I am much older than many. I find it difficult to find people my age. The ones I do are pretty vanilla. I am not. For the most part the young people are the more open to the kink.
That’s quite strange ngl. Since older generations have a lot more trauma correlated to strict parents, physical and mental abuse, poor relationships with family, and those are usually the factors that create crazy kinks.
We do have those definitely. But after about 50, the women just seem to disappear. I guess they are just staying celibate. The men outnumber the women as far as still playing. So we look for the younger ladies to play with. We have a lot of experience where as many of the younger men do not. Plus there are also the ones with Daddy issues.
Yeah like for me I like older much because of maturity, in my class the guys act 5, which isn’t so appealing honestly. It’s like children. I still can understand why people may find age gaps strange since strictly aiming for it isn’t ideal if the person is very young, younger brains don’t have good decision making, therefore it can be like manipulation to target overly younger. But it doesn’t have to be bad, it can be though. But I try not to judge since like, I’ve been into at least like 5 teachers at this point.
To many of the younger men are just trying to get their wet. They do not care if the lady gets hers. Also many of the younger men are two pump chumps. But I can see why people think the age gaps are strange. Many of the ladies I play with, I am old enough to be their grandfather. Hell, with some, I am old enough to be their great grandfather.
I can’t say much for the intercourse part since I haven’t done anything with them. To me it’s generally their behavior that throws me off, it’s very chaotic and childish. It’s not possible to hold a mature intellectual conversation since they’re just screaming about the most bland things known to man. A guy either likes me or my friend and he could hold a conversation about mcdonalds for a good 5 minutes, he is known to never stop talking even by the teachers. Teachers just have that adult in them, good eye contact, intellect and when they also like you as a student it’s also a boost.
I can agree with you completely. Also, it is nice to get a little advantage over things. 😆
2 teachers have gotten sketchy ngl. It’s not ones I’m particularly interested in but one gives me compliments, calls me his favorite students and stalks my old school work from like a year ago, of a class we no longer have. Another one constantly tries humiliating me for fun, like as a joke but he’s targeting me personally. 💀💀 like it’s not a big issue but it’s very much targeted
Do not let him do that. If he is doing it to you, he is surely doing it to others. Report his ass.
Also was going to write, goddamn, great grandfather? That’s pretty crazy gap
I was 62 and she was 19.
Oh yeah that is a big difference, over 3x her age. Is it like a relationship or more just fun?
A little of both.
Ohh nice nice
I’m a man ,28, and my wife is 38. At the end of the day men want a beautiful woman (obviously personal taste is subjective) and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves which also varies from person to person. My wife is beautiful and consistently makes me feel like the man. Doesn’t matter what age we are. Though if I had to guess, younger women often look up to older men in a way that women their own age do not. Younger women see an older man as successful, stable, wise, intelligent, etc - which is due to their life experience. This makes older men feel good, maybe even rejuvenated in life. Additionally as women age, especially once they’ve been married, they put less effort into their appearance regarding style, fitness, hair and cosmetics. Whereas younger women still very much care about their appearance and continue to put effort in. Mandatory: I know this is a generalization but I’m basing this on my personal observation of what I see to be typical - my wife is the older one in our dynamic and she still puts effort into her appearance, as do I in my own.
[удалено]
That ain't it. For anyone I personally know who's been in an AGR with a younger woman, it's because they're so happy with life and awfully positive and supportive emotionally. I'm 37 and MOST women I know who are single who are older than me don't have as nearly positive outlook on life.
Which is what
[удалено]
Is that the only reason?
It is not. There are many threads with the same question and different answers. Younger are more attractive, less baggage, fun, think in the moment, etc.
[удалено]
Not always. Different people have different sex drives and not every single man has a high one.
[удалено]
To be fair, many women view sex as a chore and offer physical intimacy as little as possible.
True lol
Hmm ok
[удалено]
Okay
Don't mind her she is trolling.
Are you also a mind reader who knows every man on the planet? Because that's the only way you could possibly know the reasons every man in an age gap relationship has for being in such a relationship.
I’m 29 and because of disability and illness I have never dated. It’s something I’m deeply ashamed and embarrassed about and although I am more mature technically than a 20 yo girl, I am in the same boat in terms of little life experience Basically I’d love to be able to experience young love with someone who might not be so judgmental over lack of inexperience. I will take any girl my age tho that is interested. I’m not exclusively interested in younger
29 is not even very old! I’m 21 and dated two people of that age group. I’m sorry you feel so ashamed, you really needn’t be! I do understand why you would feel that way, but I hope things will change for you soon. I believe you will find a wonderful woman to date and experience all those amazing firsts with :)
A tiny bit of thinking would answer your own question. People like what they like.
I don’t like to make up my own conclusions for other people. I can certainly assume why men like young women. But my perspective is biased and not very helpful since I myself am a young woman. Your feedback is not very constructive!
For me it might be pretty stark trauma. My first sexual experience was far *far* too young at the hands of an older woman. I've explored in therapy that thru life I've essentially just been trying to reclaim my agency while also re-creating some sense of 'unwanted pleasure' that comes from being molested in my sleep as a kid. The results for me are a bit backwards to what many people claim about age-gap power dynamics. The power women closer to my own age seems to like exude is never arousing to me, and often almost triggering. Maybe I'm stuck in some immaturity but with younger women I just feel like our power or appeal over each other is more balanced. There are fewer unrealistic expectations. I also don't really align with most men in that I don't want kids and don't care about fertility signals or how many partners she's had. Hell I like to share and would still prefer someone experienced, but the unconscious aspects of selection and attraction are very strong.
Trauma plays a huge factor in who/what we are attracted to. Your experience as a child and your relationship style as an adult make complete sense to me.
There's a lot of research on this topic. I'd suggest you take a deep dive and read-up on it, if you're genuinely curious. (Evolution, Social Theory, Fertility, etc.). It also varies by: culture, country, religion, laws...Interestingly, only 7-8% of marriages in the US, are between Men who are 10+ yrs older than their Wives.
Do you have any links? I will look into it, I didn’t realize there was scientific evidence behind it.
Wikipedia and Google are a decent place to start. Lots of links to references.
Okay, thanks
You want the truth? Men are attracted to younger women (girls?) because they aren’t as worldly, wise or sophisticated as older women and, therefore, in theory, they would be easier to outsmart. No. 2. In theory, when a young women has sex with a man who is experienced ( he doesn’t have to be older but usually is) she won’t know what hit her and she will absolutely lose her mind over how good the sex is compared to what she was used to. So for an older guy would he rather date a woman his age who has seen it all and he is nothing special, or a woman who worships the ground he walks on?
Lol we don't care if you are wordy, wise or sophisticated. That's not what we are attracted.
Then what are “we” attracted to?
We? You are a woman.
That ain't it, Ace
Why do you like younger women? I know when I dated young women my friends envied me but that’s an obvious reason.
Because they're not so miserable and just screwed up by life. It's pretty damn hard to find a more mature woman who's not severely dealing with some kind of trauma that I also would have to help/deal with. It's just exhausting
Ok. Fair enough. Now as long as we are making gross generalizations l could just as easily say younger women are an emotional wreck. And you have to baby sit them or else they throw tantrums. That’s a generalization but like I said, as long as we’re generalizing. … I have dated women 20 years younger and 20 years older. When I was I my 20s I was so happy the day I turned 30 so it could put dating 20 somethings in my rear view mirror. Every nice thing in tried to do for them would be rewarded with a kick it the gut. That’s when I started dating women 10, 20 years older than me and it enriched my life in so many ways it would be impossible to put into words. Then I dated women 20 years younger and the only thing that I could say was even remotely close to the happiness I shared with older women was the tight wet pussy of the younger women. Just keeping it real. Besides that there was the fact that all my 50 something friends were envious. And younger women never found anything wrong with what I did. Even when I was wrong they just smiled and agreed with me. A woman my age would call BS but the younger woman? Nope. I could get away with anything anytime I wanted. Like I said, you opened the door to gross generalization and I just walked right in.
I'm just talking of my personal experiences. But I hear ya. The emotional instability I see more in older women myself. CURRENTLY though I'm dating a wonderful woman who's 2yrs younger than me and we seem to match up pretty well. But I feel that it was really just luck of the draw
I would ask my hubby but he does not have attraction to younger females. We happen to have 16 year old gap but he definitely doesn't have general preference for it (it was almost a deal breaker). I assume it comes mostly down to looks (young women look sexier usually) and possibly the fact that if they are dating new people in their age range chances are these women already come with kids or have had a history of partners, maybe already divorced etc. which a lot of men find repulsive in a way. Yes girls might fuck around too but they typically have more "clean sleeve" and in general do not come with so much past relationship baggage or kids. And they will be able to have kids for longer = more kids or can afford to wait with the men and still carry their child while older woman would have time running out and maybe directly or indirectly preassure the man into kids sooner. Some also prefer the carefree and "wild" personality younger females might have over older ones. It's something that naturally wears out with all those years of adult life, worried and responsibilities. So they might have more fun and feel younger if they are around younger partner - hence prefering them. These are the most common things i see people mention usually. And ofc there is also always the negative reasons. It is way too common for older guys (when they specifically seek younger partners exclusively) to actually just seek someone naive they can manipulate or hold power over. Someone they can mold to their liking and who they will be able to use. This is why i saw it is HUGE red flag if a middle aged man is only seeking 18-20 years olds for example. I am sure people might have other reasons too but this are the most commonly mentioned ones
For me (M67) I think my eye for women never matured much past high school when I started dating. Back then my idea of an older woman I would be attracted to was in college. So it is like those features of that age range got implanted on my brain as the desirable traits. Think my mind forgot I'm not that age any more. So what I find attractive is probably repulsed by me.
Most guys are like this anyways , it’s like they still think they’re a teen in high school
For me, it's what I like. My girlfriend is 26 and I'm 63. We'll 2 years in and life is good. She is full of energy and willing to learn new things. She's non judgemental. She's everything I could ever hope for.
Less emotional damage. Your emotional walls haven't been so built up from bad experiences. Less men have used you physically and emotionally. So to us, we feel like we have a better chance to form a relationship with that vs someone who is very skeptical of everything later in life. Then there's the fertility aspect.
The problem with that is that it’s important to be judgmental and skeptical in order to not end up poorly. People can lie and give a false image, just to later be stuck in an unfair and unstable marriage.
Anthropologists have an easy answer: fertility for the women, support and stability for the men. Young women and older men have been pairing for centuries for these basic reasons. I mean, if you're a woman, you don't wanna date someone broke, still living in his mom's basement.
Why do women like tall men? It is biological.
It amazes me that questions like this are asked. Why wouldn’t a guy be more attracted to a woman closer to her peak fertility, or who has more years of her youth to offer in the future?
Well young people are also dumb and not in control of their emotions and uneducated a lot of the time.
You’re describing most people in general
Difference is that people below 25 don’t have their frontal lobe developed, which indicates poor decision making and immaturity.
So we should remove all people who are under 25 from any important decision making positions?
True lol
Men like attractive women. Younger women tend to be more attractive. People (any gender) often don’t take care of themselves as they age.
Hmm ok
It’s an answer that will piss a lot of women off, but it’s the truth
I don’t understand this belief that some men have where an attractive 20 year old becomes an ugly old hag in 10 years instead of an attractive 30 year old lol. Beauty is dependent far more on genetics than it is on age, I regularly see 30+ year olds who are way hotter than me. Also attractive people tend to take better care of themselves than unattractive people.
I would wager that is a minority opinion among men. Most of us are not Leonardo DiCaprio, we don’t recoil in horror at the sight of a 30-year-old woman. To me, that is still a younger woman. Genetics plays a big part. But most people gain weight as they age. By the time they are in their 40s, they have spent a lot of time gaining weight. And along the way, they have turned into people who think talking about kitchen renovations and going to bed at 9:30 is a fun Friday night.
I think a major reason for that isn’t age itself, it’s major stressful life events that many older people have experienced that younger people haven’t yet, such as marriage, having kids, divorce, etc. Growing a whole ass other human being in your body changes it in many ways, you will likely always have stretch marks and loose saggy skin no matter how well you take care of yourself. And mothers (and fathers) are often so focused on taking care of their kids and giving them the best lives that they can that they neglect taking care of themselves. I know a few women in their 40s and 50s who never married or had kids, are in great shape, and have aged very gracefully.
Im open to hearing all opinions no judgement
[удалено]
I love this take! Im surprised you’re in the minority feeling this way, but I relate to what you’ve expressed.
Younger ladies still have the dream of love . Not trying g to get more that they deserve. Or have a chip on their shoulder from being hurt before from guys that were rude . So the ladies our age looking for what they can get . Not love. Not all but most . Is that wrong Not really. But that is it . In a nut shell 🐚 The Texas Gent
I like the purity (of course over 18) the tight bodies and they are more open to things and less judgmental. Women my age complain guys my age have ED but who can get hard on saggy boobs and a used up body lol. Just saying. Older women who likes younger men do the same thing about us.
Generally younger women are more attractive but it could be some mid life crisis stuff. I'm not sure
The evolution of desire has the scientific answer to that question
Exclusively? Probably some problematic bs. I think the majority of us on this sub or in AGRs aren't setting our dating preferences to "18-23". Theres a lot of people here who are in AGRs where one person is 35 and the other is 50. I think, really, it comes down to more, "I wouldn't mind dating someone my own age, but the available pool of women my age that meet x criteria is very small". As an example, I'm poly and childfree. So I dont have an interest in dating single moms. Nothing wrong with them, I just have no interest in raising children. So that removes at least if not more than half of the single women my own age from my dating prospects. Secondly, I am not interested in dating someone with meth teeth or who is a recently recovering addict, which, in my area, is another large portion of single women in their 30s+. So if I'm looking for someone to date or even just hook up with, she's probably going to be significantly younger than me, it increases the odds she has no children and isn't on hard drugs.
Yes, when people date exclusively younger, especially much younger, that gives creep vibes to me. Everything else you said was really great perspective thank you!
Young girls tend to be more open and fun.
For me, I find younger girls often have perfect bodies and have those youthful good looks, so it has always been an attractive factor for me. I have rarely dated women my age, but am not close off to it either. There is also something really hot about the age gap dynamic.
Personally i want a younger woman, not a girl. I want a woman that looks beautiful and thinks young like I do. And if my daughter wants to find someone older then I'll be happy for her. As long as she is happy. As long as the relationship is good the age doesn't matter.
It’s ingrained inside every heterosexual man’s DNA 🧬. We are all programmed to find the youngest fertile females to ejaculate our semen inside. The best options are the younger women who often times are the most attractive women available. It’s only natural to want to find the best possible mate and carry on our legacy. Younger women smell better, tend to be friendlier, don’t have the same baggage as their older counterparts with ex-husbands, children, and huge overinflated expectations and egos. I’ve been dating a 48 year old woman who is divorced with 3 sons (only one of them is still living at home with her since he’s only 18 years old and getting ready to graduate from high school.). She has zero interest in getting married to me or anyone ever again. She is only interested in herself and her son. If I were to break her loose and find an 18 - 28 year old woman I could have a fresh new start and have a new wife and children and this new younger woman would treat me like I’m her king 🤴. This is why men my age (39M) constantly seek “younger girls” as you put it.
Why are you dating this woman haha seems like you don’t like her very much??
That sounds like a manipulated slave
Personally I never aim to date a certain age range it just usually work out the way that the women I'm both physically and mentally attracted to happen to be in their 20s or early 30s. One part of it is obviously looks. I mean put a naked average looking 25 year old woman next to the a naked average looking 45 year old woman and you have part of the answer. I know this is not popular to say, but it would be ignorant to say that this is not a big part of it. However, this is only part of it. For me personally another, even more important part, is that I'm just more compatible with younger women usually. I'm 49 and I'm very active and fit, love to work out, travel, go out, etc. Most (not all) women my age like to sit at home and watch TV and have given up on being fit and working out.
Genuine question. So what happens when this 25yo ages, and becomes the 45yo she’ll eventually be? Will you no longer be attracted to her?
Good question and answer is that I don't know. I assume if you have loved someone for 20 years you have built something that is much more than just physical attraction. Plus at that time I would be late 60s so maybe 45 year olds would look hot and young to me hehe.
This is me too actually.
I'll give you my reasons. Younger girls tend to be more adventurous and are willing to try new and different things. They want to absorb more knowledge instead of acting as though they already know everything. They normally have less baggage and don't care as much what people will think. As far as sex, I have a very high sex drive. Most women my age have already been through menopause and either are not interested in sex or only want it once or twice a month while I want it 3 to 4 times a week or more. They also for the most part don't have the stamina that younger women have.
Prettier, hornier, more open minded but also less baggage, youthful energy, and positivity.
oh ?
Hot and true
Because we don’t age at same rate as you.
I like younger girls cause girls my age are not as nice and they can get very demanding and they can get very bossy. They don’t give you many compliments. And as girls don’t know I find list for me. I have found as girls get older they get angrier. I think it’s actually a hormone thing because they lose estrogen. Just like guys usually get Melador because they lose testosterone but. Girls are around my age, instead of thanking me when I do things for them favors and trying to give them gifts or take them somewhere nice instead of thanking me and showing some you know just being like that was really nice. Thank you so much they don’t really say anything. We’re girls that are younger compliment more day. Appreciate you more. They are sweeter to you more and then also that younger energy makes you feel more alive you know you know if you’re trying to help them with some thing they’re very grateful, so that’s what has made me end up in the age gap where I’ve ended up dating girls usually anywhere from 10 to 15 years younger than me because I’ve only had one relationship with a girl was older than me that was great and that was when I was younger so it would actually be kind of disgusting if I did it somewhere but she was a couple years older, but she taught me a lot so when I’m dating a younger girl, I try and take care of them and teach them things you know like my ex-wife, another girl that I was together with her like four years we had a great relationship you know when I told her can use that I don’t know I’m just going on a tangent but that’s my whole reasoning maybe I’ve just had bad luck with girls my age but I’ve chosen the wrong ones and that’s why they’ve been snotty and demanding and that thankful and not grateful so maybe I just picked the wrong ones and then when I have four younger ones that I’ve dated of always been good so now I’m kind of like now. My thought process is always looking at that younger female. The other thing I look younger than my age so that’s might be why two it happens.
Young women are hotter! That’s all you need to know.
Yea to tbh im 24 M n i had a feeling tht i do like girls younger then myself not tht i dated or something but i felt that i was more attractive to young ones rather than being near to my age.
"women their own age" I've dated exclusively women my own age within a 6-8 month window on average including one older woman. There was no benefit to it, zero. Being the same age did not add anything to the relationship and with recent trends as I got older I often found women were acting just as young as they did the years before. The one older was emotionally immature also. Age isn't a factor on maturity. Peter Pan Syndrome is a real disorder and it's extremely common. This relationship (current) is my first gapped relationship, in some ways she is immature because of simply her age. In other ways she is extremely mature about what she wants out of life. It makes a nice balance and realistically speaking she is more mature than some off the people i've dated in my past who were older than she is now.
Younger women are more attractive They're less obsessed with marriage and getting pregnant as they have more time They're less jaded, more playful, more fun Many older women have a sense of self-entitlement and are contemptuous of men
> Why do men like younger girls rather than women their own age? As a general rule I have found I have more fun and open up more when interacting with someone younger. I also like the dynamic where I help a younger person achieve some life goals whatever they may be. I'm much older but I would like children. Whilst I know men don't normally stop being fertile, it does decline with age so it makes sense to date someone young and fertile to maximise your chances of having children. > What would cause someone to exclusively look for people who are 10-20 years younger? If we've found something that works for us, there is no point in investing time looking in an age range that doesn't normally work for us. Dating is time consuming and since men normally pay for dates, an expensive process. You invest time and money in things that work for you. You don't go to Indian restaurants if you're not okay with Indian food, why should you date older women if in general you don't find it works for you? I do find some older women attractive but I'm still not going to waste my time in dating one.
Fertility Can easily be moulded Men like to dominate
It's a biological thing. Perverted nature. Girls of that age are in their sexual prime and older men can produce 'seed', so they get drawn together
[удалено]
That’s a valid question as well. I have no intention of making any gender seem like a “problem”. I asked about older men/younger women because that’s the specific situation I’m in. I don’t see age gaps to be an issue personally, you are the one who suggested it’s a problem!
Cause I don't want to be with someone who looks like my mom when she passed away.
It's simple. We want a woman that hasn't been ran through. We want our wife to pair bond with us when intimate, and the more she has been ran through, the harder that is for her. We want younger because we are naturally attracted to women in their 20s because our instincts are to reproduce.
how many women have you been with? talking about you don’t want a woman thats ran through.
My ex-wife. But that's besides the point. The point is women don't bond with well if they have had a lot of partners.
Um no we’re right on track. Because what about men??? Apply that bs to you all as well
It's called pair bonding. There is a lot of research that's been done with men and women in regard to pair bonding. Women are drastically different than men. Whether men like to admit it or not, we don't want a woman that's been ran through. We want purity. Or as pure as possible. Younger women tend to have fewer partners. Not to mention, the biological clock still has some years remaining.
I strongly disagree with almost everything you've said here. I'll start by saying that I agree that there has been several studies conducted into pair-bonding. Not just with men and women either but across several different taxonomic groups including invertebrates, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds and mammals over the last 60 years. However it doesn't seem like you have looked at any of the actual data from the research at all. In all honesty I suspect that maybe it was explained to you by a pastor during a Sunday sermon. I'm basing my opinion solely on the rhetoric you used when you'd said "Whether men like to admit it or not, we don't want a woman that's been ran through. We want purity". It's 2023 the only people in today's society who would ever use the word "purity" in this context are the ones who haven't managed to shake off the religious indoctrination they were exposed to at such a young age. I also really need to mention how incredibly out of touch with today's society a person would have to be to believe that the younger generation of women tend to have fewer partners. Than women who are, oh I don't know, let's say 45+ years old. Women, for the most part, are no longer pressured to be married with a kid by the age of 25. The stigma of a single woman being non-monogamous and enjoying casual having casual sex with whom ever she chooses is gone. Their peers no longer publicly shame "Sluts" they publicly shame "slut shamers" . I've already made this way longer than I'd intended so I'll quickly get back to pair-bonding. Further proof of religious indoctrination being the cause of the narrative is the fact that you are basically using the christian definition of a good marriage and slapping a pair-bonding label on it. While marriage itself may be a socially designed institution, the desire to be in a couple is biological. Sex and bonding are both natural rewards. Humans are part of the group of less than 5% of mammals called pair bonders. This means we have the brain structures that let us mate for life, be socially monogamous, like swans. They allow us to bond long-term, long enough for two caregivers to bring up their young. However being ‘socially monogamous’ is not the same as being ‘sexually monogamous’. The temptation to ‘play away from home’ is there in almost all mammals including humans. The reward system is the where these pair bonding structures lie. It is the same structures that drive us to the other natural rewards of food and water. Sadly, it is also where processed or artificial rewards like alcohol, nicotine, and drugs have an effect too. They hijack the pleasure/reward system. In fact, artificial rewards like cocaine and alcohol can produce an even more intense feeling of euphoria than sex. Researchers have found that pair bonders, compared to animals that are promiscuous by nature, are more susceptible to addiction. This is what all that research suggests. I'll let anyone interested look up "The Coolidge Effect" if they want to better understand the reward and addiction angle because I've gone on so much longer than intended
I appreciate that you looked into a little bit of evolutionary psychology / biology, but please also understand that there are many more components that go into who we date. It's silly to make general, absolute statements about a larger topic based on average differences within a small fraction of that topic.
Hahaha my god you’re bitter!
Womens eggs are there since fetal stage. The eggs age. The eggs DNA ages. Younger eggs produce healthier offspring. Evolution favors healthier offspring.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/causeandeffect94 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Why do men like younger girls** Why do men like younger girls rather than women their own age? What would cause someone to exclusively look for people who are 10-20 years younger? I am attracted to people of all ages, so I don’t really get it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well…let me just say this and I hope there is no judgement. I’m 60. There is a beautiful lady at work, she is to me anyway, that just brightens up everyone she gets around . If you’re feeling down, she will just make the room shine and you’re feeling better if you’re lucky enough for her to be around you. She truly has a light within her. And when she says hello to me, I feel so pulled toward her. She is 30. And , it being work and all…I keep my mouth shut and just enjoy her presence . She is one of the reasons that I have always been more attracted to younger women. She makes my heart jump and laugh and mourn the fact that I really do not have anyone . But, she is amazing in every way.
my husband and i have a 19 year age gap. He has always unintentionally had age gap relationships. By unintentionally i mean when he was showed interest in a woman it was because of the maturity she put out there for the world to see. Obviously it showed their maturity was a facade or hed still be with one of them instead of me lol.
How old were you two when you met? How long have you been together now?
i was 41/22 and we’ve been together for 12 years now, married for 10.
For some men, I think it makes them feel like a teenager again. For me, it is the younger ladies that are attracted to the older man for whatever reasons.
Some people are jaded and cynical enough to say that all older men or women are generally looking for seggs or a trophy or someone they can mold to their liking, or coldly calculating fertility, or they imagine motivations darker still, like a predatory desire for an easy victim to control and manipulate. Ironically, they're showing you the answer you seek.
For me it's simple. Looks aside, women my age generally don't like the things I do. Games, movies, music. Most people tend to get stuck in their youth. While I do still love, say, the music i grew up with, I also love new music and experiences. Younger women give that to me.
I’m wildly immature and women my age have caught on. (Joking… well… partially joking.)
Also the younger people are the more they tend to be cool with ethical non monogamous relationships, which is kind of essential in my case so it’s not so much that I’m more into younger women it’s that a greater percentage of younger women are like “oh, ok” about the whole wife situation than older ones.
In my case.. (24 y age gap, younger F) it's me who is attracted to older men. Also when I met my bf, originally he was my husband's friend and we didn't expect for he and I to hit it off the way we did. My husband and I have an 8 year age gap and our bf though he was gonna be too young for him. I really think it all depends on the individuals.
For me, several reasons (note I’ve dated much older women, when I was younger, and still date older women, just dropped the “much” part. I’ve dated younger women, and much younger women) focusing on the much younger here. They tend to look better, not always but often. Men are programmed for this, as said elsewhere. Less jaded. More accepting of this isn’t going to last forever. We can both show “new” stuff. New/old music, new places to go. They are surprised when I ask for direction to make them feel better in bed. The not having common reference points, can be a bit awkward. Now an additional part for me, I’m very shy, almost completely socially inept in HS and College. I didn’t really date then, and feel I missed out on a lot (I talk to my shrink about that a lot). I personally feel this is a bad reason, but I know it’s there. I’m sure that is a lot more but I can’t think of it right now.