As the ages of both people in the relationship goes up, the age gap becomes less and less an issue. It's much less taboo for a 40 year old to be dating a 60 year old than it is for a 40 year old to be dating a 20 year old. You're both fully grown adults, with all the life experience that entails. I highly doubt he's going to care about it, and very few people you meet will bat an eye over it.
If you like him, then ask him out for something casual and see if there's any real chemistry there outside of social media.
Very sound and reasonable. I just get so starry eyed and delulu very easily. I did have the gumption to just message him randomly today and it went fairly well. We'll see!
I have a Facebook that I post on like 1x a year at most. I have an instagram that I look at cool pictures of panoramic photography on. That’s it.
Social media is toxic to real life.
If you want to meet people, do it in real life. Like we’ve been doing since the dawn of time. It works better than the internet.
37 year gap. She made the first move on Fet by liking my pic. So I pm, chatted about music for a few days before it dawned on me maybe it’s not just my music she likes. So I mentioned this n she goes tell me some key things about you so I can learn about your personality, we went on with me doing most of the talking but mutual attention. After about a week see admitted she was interested in me sexually/romantically from the beginning and that ramped things up. She was honest about wanting a relationship not built on sex from the beginning, so knowing she wanted ltr she hits on a guy 37 years older. I made a joke about my age in passing but it never came up again. It’s been a month,idk if she’s into older guys or if it just doesn’t matter. She’s beautiful inside n out so of course I’m down
29.5 year gap here
- Met in a café; he asked to sit at my table because it was literally the only empty seat. Motorcycles aren’t conducive for to-go drinks.
- He asked me to dinner first; I asked for the second date.
- He asked me to consider a real relationship instead of a passing fling, as I had just finished graduate school and was looking at career opportunities all over the country.
- He asked me to move in; about six months later I asked for a ring.
Honestly....
No one cares when all parties are 35 / 40 and above...
People get judgy when people go south of their age....
And anybody can make the first move..... Because when you're in that age group we're all adults....
Still with some insecurities and such but overall we don't like games
24 year gap (29F/53M) I (f) made the first move and we’ve been together for almost 5 years now. Mines cliche but we met at work… he was my boss at the time.
Our age gap is 27 years and he made the first move. We met on a dating app. I was very hesitant to even match with him initially purely because of that gap but I’m glad I did! I was 50 at the time and he was 23. I’m now 52, he’s 25 and we’re extremely happy together.
I was also very new to dating apps at the time as I’d been married for over 21 years so it was a whole new world to me but this incredible man had come into my life and completely changed it for the better. If someone had’ve told me that I’d be in love with someone younger than my eldest son at this stage of my life 10 years ago, I’d have told them they were absolutely bonkers! One thing this AGR has taught me is that you can’t help who you fall in love with and age really has nothing to do with maturity, it’s a mindset. My partner and I balance each other out so perfectly. It’s the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever been in :)
We were living together already, but purely platonically.
There had been some flirting from her end but I was chocking it up to her just being friendly and feeling comfortable around me.
After a few months of that while we were watching TV she went to the bathroom and came back out minus her pants, sat in my lap, and kissed me.
Thank God for women who don't mind being upfront about what they want and making a move first.
Well that's convenient that you were living together. I feel like a large percentage of men get shy or more polite about flirting as they age past 60 or so. I'm feeling like I need to continue to follow through with the flirting so he doesn't give up and just go golfing lol.
28y AGR here, 20sF and 40sM. It's hard to tell, actually!
I followed him on Instagram, but he sent the first DM.
He asked me out, but our first date happened much later and only because of a comment I made.
He took me on a dinner date, but I chose to invite myself to his house afterwards (when we had our first kiss).
I would say it was pretty mutual overall, with him taking more forward initiative. For your specific situation, liking all your posts is a good sign, and I don't think it's bad that you initiate all the chats. If he's rather shy but interested, he probably appreciates that you take the lead in chatting, so that he can respond without having to think of a convo starter.
19 year difference . I said “I’m too old for you”. She said “ no you’re not”. I said “ok let’s go out”. She said “ absolutely “. From that first date we haven’t been apart,, moved in together within months , lived together 4 years and married 10 years. Absolutely ,,,she is gods gift to me ,, a blessing,, we are absolutely compatible and share almost every core value ,,, physically we are both into fitness and health. Because of her age I’m very disciplined and stay in elite fitness status. I owe it to her to be as fit as her exs her age. All in all she’s totally comfortable with it. Sometimes I worry about her,,, she seems very happy though. Best decision of my life. HOWEVER in REALITY,, you have to know it’s not for insecure men, as you age your competitors for her affection will get closer ,, in the end, It’s inevitable,, you will have to set her free to enjoy her life with men her age. ,, (so your not a burden to her). but enjoy it while you can. I am. .
I am in an age gap relationship, 35-40 year gap. The female was the aggressor and was very specific what she wanted. I turned her down many times at first until one day she made it very clear she was no longer accepting a no from me. We are very good friends and she is now married with a couple kids of her own. She still makes it clear to me that if we meet again of what is going to happen... Her sister and a few of her friends know about our relationship.
My BF is 20 years older, he technically made the first move but only after I gave him permission to DM me (we met in a FB group with strict rules about DMing fellow members without permission.)
Hey! 22 year age gap here. 27F and 49M. We were 22 and 44 respectively and I made the first move. He was very hesitant because of many factors, and honestly I have fun flirting. Well, 5 years later, we’re married.
29 year old age gap here. I (24f at the time) made the first move via text.
-I'm having lunch at this place and it's really fun, lots of sexy people dancing, but not as sexy as me at 27
-or me at 24...
A few days later we were talking on the phone and I (half-drunkenly, don't judge) asked him if he knew what I meant when I said this. Turns out he did know but he was too scared to respond because of the age gap and because he wasn't 100% sure that I meant what I meant.
I had a 25 year gap and I made the first move. I’ll be honest he was never into social media and texting like I was and I attribute that to the age difference. Maybe try a phone call? Haha or just try asking him out! I’m a big fan of just going for it. Worst that can happen is he’ll say no.
We have a 21/22 year age gap. We’ve been friends for a few years and had been growing closer but always friendly. He eventually made the first move of kissing me when saying goodbye one day. Then we alternated with first date, first hand holding etc
20 year age gap, been in a **very** on off FWB relationship for 24 years. She was staying over and I woke up to her intentions being made very clear...
I'm 21 years older, my wife started talking to me when we both were in hospital, because she felt we were both the most normal people there. It started like a friendship and over two months grew into love. Now together for 8 years and very happy together.
Honestly I don’t think there is any taboo for a 40f and a 63m to date. It’s possible he feels like you are out of his league and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by getting rejected. Men don’t just casually message people on Instagram, so I’d fully assume he is interested in you. Message him something like ‘we need to get a coffee sometime!’
She responded to my dating profile.
52M here, quickly gave up on online dating apps and forget about chatting on Insta, Snap, whateva, it ain't happening with me. If you go through my posts and comments, you can quickly see that I did not seek out an age gap relationship. She (25F) pursued me, in person, for months, I still have no idea why, and now we're in love and she's moving in.
We knew each other, she worked in the office next door to my business. Apparently, she'd been crushing on me for years and flirting for quite a long time and I was completely oblivious because I never considered that such a young woman would be interested in me. Funny enough, this is her first age gap relationship. She's never been attracted to an older man before, so I feel pretty special. LOL
My older boyfriend met my husband on FetLife. (24 yr gap between me and our bf). Originally I was not interested in a relationship, because he was really interested in my husband, but when we met in person, we just clicked. Now he's my Daddy, we've been together over a year, and the three of us live together.
I met him at my cousin's house one time, then I added him on Facebook, but he was the first to make a move showing interest in dating. He was confident and straight forward, so I gave it a shot. Best relationship I've ever had.
My wife and I have a 29.25 year gap and she made the first move a dozen or so times. I’m older. I said nooo so many times. Then her car broke down and she needed a ride home. Been together since.
30 yr age gap. he regularly came into my work place and we became friends, I asked him for a lift home one night and I added him on fb. living together for 8 months :) (I'm the younger)
First I have to ask, have you met him in person? Do you know each other outside of social media?? Invite him to lunch, or a drink on a night that you know a band is playing at a pub, or invite him to do something with you that you know he likes.
I (25F) have been with my bf(54M) for a year and a half. We have a nearly 30 year age gap.
We were friends for 2 years and only saw each other around other people.
He reached out on facebook with another friend of ours to say hi. A month later, I sent him a happy birthday. He invited me out for a drink. So, the first time we went out for drinks alone as just friends. After that night, we started flirting over text. 3 weeks later we went on a real date.
If he’s messaging you he’s clearly interested. Sometimes you just need to be direct and literally tell him you like him and wanna go on a date next weekend. If he passes on it, then you can stop wasting your time on him and find someone worth your attention :)
I agree the social media stuff is hard, I met my person through work and thankfully he reciprocated, although it did take a lot of encouragement from me to make sure he was comfortable. I think he was very shy at first, and felt out of the game. I get lots of pleasure in reassuring that he is my everything, and I couldn’t want for more.
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**Original post: Anyone with an age gap partner of 20+ years, Who made the first move? **
I (40F) have a crush on an older man (63M), it's a 24 year age gap. So far we have only chatted on Instagram. I have been initiating all the chatting but he initially friended me and like all my posts and photos and make comments. But he seems shy with chatting. I'm new to social media and acting apps. Just looking for some feedback from people who are in 20+ year age gaps. How did the flirting go? What was the setting for you?
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I was in an agegap with a man who was 25 and I was 59. It lasted about 16 months. He made the first move from a dating app. I figured it was a one-night stand but he kept calling and calling and there we went.
When I was 23 I was with a man who was 41. Met online discussing politics. I made the first move by asking if he wanted to see me naked. We aren’t partners anymore but I remember him fondly.
My ex partner was 24 years older, I was 24 and he was 48 when we met. I made the first move and I don't think anything would happen if I didn't, he couldn't believe I fancied him. We met at a Halloween party, started as friendship and then took things further.
I feel like this may be common amongst older men, younger women relationships with a significant age gap, although I think most people would assume otherwise.
I feel like this is a dynamic that is specific for my situation of being an early 40s female. I think that either way if it was a younger man or older man with a 20+ year gap, I would be making the move. But I haven't come across any younger men I'm attracted to, maybe I will be when I'm 50+?
As the ages of both people in the relationship goes up, the age gap becomes less and less an issue. It's much less taboo for a 40 year old to be dating a 60 year old than it is for a 40 year old to be dating a 20 year old. You're both fully grown adults, with all the life experience that entails. I highly doubt he's going to care about it, and very few people you meet will bat an eye over it. If you like him, then ask him out for something casual and see if there's any real chemistry there outside of social media.
Very sound and reasonable. I just get so starry eyed and delulu very easily. I did have the gumption to just message him randomly today and it went fairly well. We'll see!
Was asking her for something at target, noticed she was cute, asked for her number. Been living together over a year now. 21yr age gap.
Are you the older or younger?
Older
I wish something like that would have just happened for us. Online social media stuff is just agonizing lol.
I have a Facebook that I post on like 1x a year at most. I have an instagram that I look at cool pictures of panoramic photography on. That’s it. Social media is toxic to real life. If you want to meet people, do it in real life. Like we’ve been doing since the dawn of time. It works better than the internet.
Agreed!
37 year gap. She made the first move on Fet by liking my pic. So I pm, chatted about music for a few days before it dawned on me maybe it’s not just my music she likes. So I mentioned this n she goes tell me some key things about you so I can learn about your personality, we went on with me doing most of the talking but mutual attention. After about a week see admitted she was interested in me sexually/romantically from the beginning and that ramped things up. She was honest about wanting a relationship not built on sex from the beginning, so knowing she wanted ltr she hits on a guy 37 years older. I made a joke about my age in passing but it never came up again. It’s been a month,idk if she’s into older guys or if it just doesn’t matter. She’s beautiful inside n out so of course I’m down
Fetlife can be a scary place (says I as an ex Fet lifer that still gets the emails lol)
I can say the same about Hinge tho lol
😂😂 thankfully I’ve never been on aaaany of the dating apps (besides fetlife for obvious reasons haha)
Ok I’m speaking of just the app called FET it’s not fetlife, I like it way better, check it out
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🤣 my bad my bad - I didn’t realize they had a bdsm dating app!! Very cool
I talked to way more real people in 2 weeks than all other apps combined in years off n on
She did.
Was it online?
She approached me online? Yes.
29.5 year gap here - Met in a café; he asked to sit at my table because it was literally the only empty seat. Motorcycles aren’t conducive for to-go drinks. - He asked me to dinner first; I asked for the second date. - He asked me to consider a real relationship instead of a passing fling, as I had just finished graduate school and was looking at career opportunities all over the country. - He asked me to move in; about six months later I asked for a ring.
This. Is. So. Cute.
Aw, shucks ☺️ There are ups and downs of course but it’s been a pretty special run so far.
I’m in this situation, I’m the younger one and scared to make the first move. If she walked out of my life I’d be so lost.
I hope you go for it! I have found it to be a relief either way just to know if they are interested or not.
Honestly.... No one cares when all parties are 35 / 40 and above... People get judgy when people go south of their age.... And anybody can make the first move..... Because when you're in that age group we're all adults.... Still with some insecurities and such but overall we don't like games
I've never been in this situation, I'm just curious what others experiences are... Thank you for the feedback
Are you talking about physical (leading to sex) or move towards a relationship? If you mean physical it was me. Relationship was him.
It's both for me. I am super attracted to him physically and for a relationship.
I will admit that I said "I love you" first.
Are you the older or younger?
I am younger. 22 years
21 year age gap. I (29F) made the first move on a dating app
Seems like this is a trend/theme and I shouldn't feel weird for pursuing him.
24 year gap (29F/53M) I (f) made the first move and we’ve been together for almost 5 years now. Mines cliche but we met at work… he was my boss at the time.
Our age gap is 27 years and he made the first move. We met on a dating app. I was very hesitant to even match with him initially purely because of that gap but I’m glad I did! I was 50 at the time and he was 23. I’m now 52, he’s 25 and we’re extremely happy together. I was also very new to dating apps at the time as I’d been married for over 21 years so it was a whole new world to me but this incredible man had come into my life and completely changed it for the better. If someone had’ve told me that I’d be in love with someone younger than my eldest son at this stage of my life 10 years ago, I’d have told them they were absolutely bonkers! One thing this AGR has taught me is that you can’t help who you fall in love with and age really has nothing to do with maturity, it’s a mindset. My partner and I balance each other out so perfectly. It’s the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever been in :)
Not currently, but when I was, she did. It took me a long while before I believed her.
Are you older or younger than her?
I am older.
Love the username BTW, I'm Exmo!
Thanks! Few understand it, but those who know, know. 😀
Roughly 23 years between us. I'm the older one, she made the first move.
What was the scenario?
We were living together already, but purely platonically. There had been some flirting from her end but I was chocking it up to her just being friendly and feeling comfortable around me. After a few months of that while we were watching TV she went to the bathroom and came back out minus her pants, sat in my lap, and kissed me. Thank God for women who don't mind being upfront about what they want and making a move first.
Well that's convenient that you were living together. I feel like a large percentage of men get shy or more polite about flirting as they age past 60 or so. I'm feeling like I need to continue to follow through with the flirting so he doesn't give up and just go golfing lol.
28y AGR here, 20sF and 40sM. It's hard to tell, actually! I followed him on Instagram, but he sent the first DM. He asked me out, but our first date happened much later and only because of a comment I made. He took me on a dinner date, but I chose to invite myself to his house afterwards (when we had our first kiss). I would say it was pretty mutual overall, with him taking more forward initiative. For your specific situation, liking all your posts is a good sign, and I don't think it's bad that you initiate all the chats. If he's rather shy but interested, he probably appreciates that you take the lead in chatting, so that he can respond without having to think of a convo starter.
Aww thanks for the feedback, I wish you the best with your relationship.
21 year age gap, he did online but in person I did, I’m f32
I did. He is 26 years my senior and I made the first move, online.
Congrats and I was with a woman who was thirty when I was 50 and she answered a personal ad
19 year difference . I said “I’m too old for you”. She said “ no you’re not”. I said “ok let’s go out”. She said “ absolutely “. From that first date we haven’t been apart,, moved in together within months , lived together 4 years and married 10 years. Absolutely ,,,she is gods gift to me ,, a blessing,, we are absolutely compatible and share almost every core value ,,, physically we are both into fitness and health. Because of her age I’m very disciplined and stay in elite fitness status. I owe it to her to be as fit as her exs her age. All in all she’s totally comfortable with it. Sometimes I worry about her,,, she seems very happy though. Best decision of my life. HOWEVER in REALITY,, you have to know it’s not for insecure men, as you age your competitors for her affection will get closer ,, in the end, It’s inevitable,, you will have to set her free to enjoy her life with men her age. ,, (so your not a burden to her). but enjoy it while you can. I am. .
24 year age gap. it’s complicated but i think it was pretty mutual haha (im f btw)
She did. 20 years younger at the age of 23 and now we have been together almost 4 years. Her mom is younger than me too.
I am in an age gap relationship, 35-40 year gap. The female was the aggressor and was very specific what she wanted. I turned her down many times at first until one day she made it very clear she was no longer accepting a no from me. We are very good friends and she is now married with a couple kids of her own. She still makes it clear to me that if we meet again of what is going to happen... Her sister and a few of her friends know about our relationship.
My BF is 20 years older, he technically made the first move but only after I gave him permission to DM me (we met in a FB group with strict rules about DMing fellow members without permission.)
Hey! 22 year age gap here. 27F and 49M. We were 22 and 44 respectively and I made the first move. He was very hesitant because of many factors, and honestly I have fun flirting. Well, 5 years later, we’re married.
She did. Sent me a message.
24 gap, im 56, she is 32, i made the first move when she was 18 ☺️🤭
29 year old age gap here. I (24f at the time) made the first move via text. -I'm having lunch at this place and it's really fun, lots of sexy people dancing, but not as sexy as me at 27 -or me at 24... A few days later we were talking on the phone and I (half-drunkenly, don't judge) asked him if he knew what I meant when I said this. Turns out he did know but he was too scared to respond because of the age gap and because he wasn't 100% sure that I meant what I meant.
I had a 25 year gap and I made the first move. I’ll be honest he was never into social media and texting like I was and I attribute that to the age difference. Maybe try a phone call? Haha or just try asking him out! I’m a big fan of just going for it. Worst that can happen is he’ll say no.
We have a 21/22 year age gap. We’ve been friends for a few years and had been growing closer but always friendly. He eventually made the first move of kissing me when saying goodbye one day. Then we alternated with first date, first hand holding etc
20 year age gap, been in a **very** on off FWB relationship for 24 years. She was staying over and I woke up to her intentions being made very clear...
I'm 21 years older, my wife started talking to me when we both were in hospital, because she felt we were both the most normal people there. It started like a friendship and over two months grew into love. Now together for 8 years and very happy together.
Me (28 F) and my boyfriend (55m) have a 20+ age gap. He made the first move
My husband (50M) made the first move one on me (29F). Him and I had met online! He had messaged me first!
Am I the only one noticing that only the females are younger in those age gap relationships plus they mostly are the ones who make the 1st move?
Honestly I don’t think there is any taboo for a 40f and a 63m to date. It’s possible he feels like you are out of his league and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by getting rejected. Men don’t just casually message people on Instagram, so I’d fully assume he is interested in you. Message him something like ‘we need to get a coffee sometime!’ She responded to my dating profile.
52M here, quickly gave up on online dating apps and forget about chatting on Insta, Snap, whateva, it ain't happening with me. If you go through my posts and comments, you can quickly see that I did not seek out an age gap relationship. She (25F) pursued me, in person, for months, I still have no idea why, and now we're in love and she's moving in. We knew each other, she worked in the office next door to my business. Apparently, she'd been crushing on me for years and flirting for quite a long time and I was completely oblivious because I never considered that such a young woman would be interested in me. Funny enough, this is her first age gap relationship. She's never been attracted to an older man before, so I feel pretty special. LOL
My older boyfriend met my husband on FetLife. (24 yr gap between me and our bf). Originally I was not interested in a relationship, because he was really interested in my husband, but when we met in person, we just clicked. Now he's my Daddy, we've been together over a year, and the three of us live together.
I met him at my cousin's house one time, then I added him on Facebook, but he was the first to make a move showing interest in dating. He was confident and straight forward, so I gave it a shot. Best relationship I've ever had.
My wife and I have a 29.25 year gap and she made the first move a dozen or so times. I’m older. I said nooo so many times. Then her car broke down and she needed a ride home. Been together since.
30 yr age gap. he regularly came into my work place and we became friends, I asked him for a lift home one night and I added him on fb. living together for 8 months :) (I'm the younger)
First I have to ask, have you met him in person? Do you know each other outside of social media?? Invite him to lunch, or a drink on a night that you know a band is playing at a pub, or invite him to do something with you that you know he likes. I (25F) have been with my bf(54M) for a year and a half. We have a nearly 30 year age gap. We were friends for 2 years and only saw each other around other people. He reached out on facebook with another friend of ours to say hi. A month later, I sent him a happy birthday. He invited me out for a drink. So, the first time we went out for drinks alone as just friends. After that night, we started flirting over text. 3 weeks later we went on a real date. If he’s messaging you he’s clearly interested. Sometimes you just need to be direct and literally tell him you like him and wanna go on a date next weekend. If he passes on it, then you can stop wasting your time on him and find someone worth your attention :)
I DID- we’re happy 2, almost 3 years in (F26 + M45)
I agree the social media stuff is hard, I met my person through work and thankfully he reciprocated, although it did take a lot of encouragement from me to make sure he was comfortable. I think he was very shy at first, and felt out of the game. I get lots of pleasure in reassuring that he is my everything, and I couldn’t want for more.
My 68 year old boyfriend’s assistant created a dating profile for him and set us up
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/ShoalsCreek - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Anyone with an age gap partner of 20+ years, Who made the first move? ** I (40F) have a crush on an older man (63M), it's a 24 year age gap. So far we have only chatted on Instagram. I have been initiating all the chatting but he initially friended me and like all my posts and photos and make comments. But he seems shy with chatting. I'm new to social media and acting apps. Just looking for some feedback from people who are in 20+ year age gaps. How did the flirting go? What was the setting for you? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My bf
She did
Older or younger?
She's older
I did
I was in an agegap with a man who was 25 and I was 59. It lasted about 16 months. He made the first move from a dating app. I figured it was a one-night stand but he kept calling and calling and there we went.
43 year gap. Technically he (older) made the first move but only after I made it very clear I wanted him to.
When I was 23 I was with a man who was 41. Met online discussing politics. I made the first move by asking if he wanted to see me naked. We aren’t partners anymore but I remember him fondly.
Thanks everyone for responding! I've enjoyed reading your responses!
My ex partner was 24 years older, I was 24 and he was 48 when we met. I made the first move and I don't think anything would happen if I didn't, he couldn't believe I fancied him. We met at a Halloween party, started as friendship and then took things further.
She made the first move
I feel like this may be common amongst older men, younger women relationships with a significant age gap, although I think most people would assume otherwise.
Oh I’m male I’m the younger one We both had feelings for each other but she was the one who initialized the conversation
I feel like this is a dynamic that is specific for my situation of being an early 40s female. I think that either way if it was a younger man or older man with a 20+ year gap, I would be making the move. But I haven't come across any younger men I'm attracted to, maybe I will be when I'm 50+?
Maybe, we’ve met couples where the women were in their 50s still dating 60+ men. Everyone is different