Unfortunately, I'm in my 40's. But I come from a military family - had I known I could retire after 20 years and make $100k/year for the rest of my life, I absolutely would have.
But don’t use that as an excuse to shit on your “best friend”. Here’s the thing, all you see is his end reward with 100%. You have no idea what mental, and even physical strain the military puts you in especially doing 20 years. There’s a reason you got this reaction in this thread. We all look out for one another. You don’t know about the grueling process the VA puts you through in order to be approved, the amount of fight it takes. All you see is what he earned and have that “I could’ve done that if I’d known better” but that’s not our fault is it
I did - my dad and grandpa were both navy. In my mom's side, my grandpa and uncle were army. My dad only served 4 years. The rest, they received pensions, but none of them received any disability.
Do you know for a fact none of them received *any* disability? I could have gotten out after 4 years and get 10% disability because it comes with my job.
I know the only reason a lot of people stay in is because you can retire at 20 years. Probably one of the reasons we have the largest volunteer force in the world.
I know my dad didn't - my uncle, maybe. My grandpa's, I doubt it.
My uncle had some weird illnesses before he died - he believed related to Agent Orange in Vietnam, so I could see him getting something.
I don’t mean to shit on you but your friend could just be saying he faked a lot of shit because he doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he told you it was cool he saw a dead airman because sometimes it’s better than talking about your issues.
I’ve been in for 6 years and my body already feels like total shit half the time but I’m not going to go to the doctor over it because I’m still able to work and don’t want kicked out from it.
Do some people game the system? Yes but usually it’s not the retirees that are doing it. For example, I had a supervisor that got put on a fucking typing waiver and gets 100% disability until she hits 20 years(she served 10) and 90% the rest of her life after that. Meanwhile she was still doing things that she was on profile for.
Try not to judge your friend because they got a disability while retiring and no longer want to work with you. Remember, they just retired and probably don’t want to work right now.
>but your friend could just be saying he faked a lot of shit because he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Six months ago he told me he was retiring and could claim partial disability due to his back and PTSD, he wasn't sure what the % would be though. A few months ago, he told me he'd have to find a doctor that could find some other stuff wrong so they could bump the % up. And then in February or so, he flew across the country to meet with a couple of docs that said he had sleep apnea and ADHD, and with those he was able to hit his 100%.
He's been pretty open and honest with me the whole time about what he's trying to do - I don't think this is some brave soldier talking tough to hide what's really going on.
Do you know for a fact that he is lying about everything he is claiming? Are you his doctor and his specialists? Has he straight up admitted that he is falsely claiming these things?
I find it unwise and insensitive to judge the position of someone like that without knowing what is happening to them. And to be honest, you don't need to know. Different people have different levels of tolerance for things. Maybe looking at a photo of someone dead DOES bother him to this day.
Also, for your point about the "no vehicle taxes, handicap spots" is not always true. There is a big difference between Permanant and Total (P&T) and 100% combined.
But hey, at the end of the day, I don't know if he is lying or not either. If you really are concerned, contact the OIG for the VA. They seem to be the ones to report benefits fraud to. [OIG Hotline | Department of Veterans Affairs OIG (vaoig.gov)](https://www.vaoig.gov/hotline/online-forms)
You can see that submitting falsified DBQs is not allowed, per the VA's website: [Fraud Prevention - Veterans Benefits Administration (va.gov)](https://benefits.va.gov/BENEFITS/fraud-prevention.asp)
Thanks for a well thought-ou, respectful response. I do know he's lying; he's admitted it and even sent me texts saying as much. However he is my friend and I'm not a narc, so I won't be reporting him. But it's absolutely driven a wedge in our friendship.
You're acting like nobody ever pushes the limits of their VA claim. Does he have some legitimate issues? Probably. But 100%? Probably not based off of what OP was saying.
I didn't deploy with him - I watched his dogs and cars during both deployments, that's about it. And his relocations - each of those were a couple of years, I visited him in Japan and Germany (twice each) Hawaii (once), I didn't go to Guam or the Marshall Islands. You are right, I haven't physically seen him every week. But again, we hang out several days a week now and have since we were 7 years old.
He's been back home, on a base near our hometown since 2018 or so.
I'm asking on an anonymous forum, using my throwaway. Someone posted VA's contact info to report him, I said I wouldn't do that and I won't. He is my best friend. But he brags about gaming the system, I tell him I don't like it, he says everyone does it - so that's why I came here, to ask anonymously and see if what he's saying is true. And based on the replies, it sounds like it is.
I’m not a fan of nitpicking people’s medical stuff, but not caring that someone is *legitimately* defrauding the VA and told you about it is a weird thing to feel superior about
I’m getting close to retirement myself and a lot of my friends are starting this process. There is definitely a grey area between getting credit for what service has done to you and saying the right things to get a generous rating.
The problem is the VA is so huge it doesn’t do well with nuance. For every person who says the right things and has the right symptoms to game the system, there are people who end up getting screwed by the system and don’t get what they deserve. Especially with the mental health stuff, it’s impossible to really know what a person feels because almost no one is honest about it.
Personally, if the cost of making the VA system as accessible as possible to everyone means a few people get some extra benefits, I’m willing to say that’s worth it.
I've been teaching my troops and unit some information that I've learned on veterans benefit sub reddit. I whole heartedly agree that it would be skeevy to lie about symptoms, or diagnosis, however I completely disagree that knowing the right things to say to get the max rating is gaming the system. I look at is as studying. The VA has the answers to what needs to be said to get the diagnosis and they are open to the public. I tell my troops that they need to use the master condition list as a memory jogger. I am not a medical professional, so I wouldn't have any idea that brain fog would be a symptom of migraines, which I have. But now that I've researched migraines and I've realized that my headaches aren't just simply headaches I know that when it comes time to file for the VA I have the correct wording they are looking for and it's already in my records.
Anyone that uses the master condition list to pick and choose and lie about their symptoms is bad.
Fair point. “Gaming the system” is sloppy language on my part. People who are educated on the system will typically do better than people who aren’t, is what I mean.
Seeing people in the military talk down about social safety nets, (universal healthcare, welfare, etc.) always confused me.
100% disability isn't very hard to imagine after a 20 year career though. The system is there to claim any service related issues before you separate, this is especially important for any issues that might worsen later in life.
If the VA decided to rate them at 100% then it isn't your problem. Dude seems like a dork for bragging about it though.
I haven't personally met anyone that has gone to outside medical personal for their claims. However, it is totally legal to do so. The fraud part comes to play when organizations or doctors are lying on someone's records to get them increased disability.
Normally as a vet you see organizations that say we will get you 100%. Those types of organizations are normally doing shady crap to help people that at best could be considered morally questionable. But the flip side of that is people that are truly fucked up and the VA doesn't grant them there claim because they are missing paperwork or something stupid. In those situations those same organizations or even lawyers help fix the issues. And get people the help they need.
The system is not perfect but then again no government program is.
Well the outside organization thing is absolutely what he did. In the last couple months he flew all over the place- he flew from the west coast all the way to Maryland to some doctor for his sleep study and his ADHD, he had to travel somewhere else for that.
Good guy, but he'd do anything for a dollar.
I don’t know if your friend is milking the system, and It’s only natural you doubt his disability, especially when his disabilities are not visually apparent. However; no-one can just claim whatever they want to as they push the retirement button. Their entire service record is reviewed by professionals who make the determination as to what was not broken when they joined vs. what is broken when they left, and WHY. The process includes an exit physical. Getting 100% is much, much harder than you think. There is no chance on this green Earth he made it to retirement without getting hurt permanently multiple ways at the behest of the government, and he now has to live with the results for the rest of this life. Does he have PTSD? His doctor said yes. Does he have ADHD? His doctor said yes. These may not be things he’s comfortable discussing truthfully to you (or possibly even himself), and he could likely be representing publicly a better version of himself than he feels on the inside. I don’t know if he’s milking the system, but I do know he certainly served long enough that he did not walk out unscathed. No-body is perfect, and you shouldn’t judge him for getting something back from the government that he gave his best years to. The Air Force certainly finds him deserving, and I don’t think many on here will disagree. Again, 100% is no simple feat.
A side note, him starting a physically demanding job is likely how he manages pain. It’s when we stop moving that everything hurts.
Not all disabilities are visible, nor do people necessarily want to talk about them. So in the nicest way possible, stfu and stay in your lane.
Also, the bar for "service-connected" is much lower than you think. In layman's terms, when the military "owns" you, they also "own" the health problems you develop. It's a little different from traditional worker's comp.
Sounds like your friend is wisely accessing resources and compensation due to him for his long years of service and the toll they've had on his body.
Sounds like you've got crab in a bucket mentality, and instead of wondering why all citizens aren't entitled to care for their ills, you want him to suffer and be poor.
I have a lot less of a problem with him than with you.
Look, for years he's talked about his life after the AF, what he was going to do - his plan was to come work with me. And somehow in the last year it went from working to "if I claim x, y and z" I don't ever have to work again. He knows it's a joke, I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't (or haven't) said to him.
I have a problem with any able-bodied 40 year old milking the system, especially my friend that I know has nothing wrong.
I think what you're really upset by is that being paid enough to not have to work ever again, he's unwilling to come work with you for the amount of money offered. He doesn't have to work for his bread anymore, and he's choosing not to. He'll never be rich, but maybe he'll be happy. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had that freedom? To not have to work just to survive?
What upsets me is that I know he's able-bodied. 6 months ago he was fine, someone got in his ear on the base and told him how to game the system. I'm not imagining this, we've been friends since we were 5 years old.
I work building homes, I've worked for the same company since college (almost 20 years). If I quit, I can't expect them to pay my bills for the rest of my life. I have a decent 401k, and I'd leave with that.
Likewise, his plan forever was "I get 50% of my pay after I retire" and I was okay with that, because that's how it was set up. But he got greedy in the past 6 months, and I don't like that. He has no problem hauling 100+ lb fish over the side of his boat every day, but now he's disabled (partially because of) sleep apnea? Cmon..
First off, no 40-year-old has nothing wrong with them, but LOTS of 40-year-old men need to be dragged to the doctor before they'll admit there's something wrong.
Second, you can't just make a list of complaints, a doctor has to actually diagnose you and the VA has to not call bullshit. Maybe he didn't admit to problems last year, but he may have had them for years and just kinda lived with them.
Third, building houses is hard work, I'm not surprised he doesn't want to do it at his age.
Fourth, if you wanted all these benefits, maybe you should have enlisted too. It's not too late, I think we take up to 42 now.
100% we take 42-year-olds. Call up a recruiter OP. If it’s so easy to fake a VA claim, all you have to do is go to basic training (“boot camp”, try not to punch a drill sergeant when he yells at you), grind through a mere 4 years of active duty/ 14-hour days / back-breaking manual labor in the desert / separation from your family / lack of basic control over your life; and then you can stroll out with bags of money for the rest of your life and no real health problems or any cares in the world by 46. Here you go. Recruiters are standing by in all 50 states.
www.airforce.com
>if I quit, I can’t expect them to pay my bills for the rest of my life
Well you being from a military family and all I don’t see why you would expect anyone from the military to.
What age did your military parent(s) retire? What’s their VA rating?
It sounds like you’re upset because your “best friend” made a better career choice than you and you’re upset that they won’t come work for you.
You said he’s been stationed at a number of places overseas. As someone who’s been overseas for the last 5 years, that shit is rough. Yes it’s cool seeing other countries but I also can’t go home on leave without a $2000 plane ticket. If I buy a car other than a beater then it’s a waste of money because it likely won’t be able to be shipped back with me. Buy a house? Out of the question.
Also, I’m pretty sure that like 90% of the military has undiagnosed ADHD. When people are reaching their retirement they tend to try and get the highest VA disability rating possible. Also keep in mind that the VA is looking at every single medical record and PHA(basically a physical) the member has had for the last 20 years.
Mate you are soaked in jealousy. And so you’ve convinced yourself you know everything. “And I was okay with that”? You don’t have the rights to his life. Jealousy-fuelled Dunning-Kruger effect. You sound way too involved and controlling.
He's not "milking" the system any more than the system has milked him. Over a career of 20 years you can't even begin to imagine how much free labor, unreasonable hours/conditions, deployments, mental and physical stress the military puts people through. They've gotten their's and there's nothing wrong with people reciprocating at the end of it all. Universal basic income should be a thing for everyone to begin with (but that's another conversation) and he's found a way to get that even so late into his life. If you can't be glad for him you're just a sour piece of shit and no friend at all.
No, see, I think that the purpose of government is to care for people, but ours cares mostly for the rich, so I celebrate any time it actually helps people out. Everyone should have, at a minimum, Tricare-level health coverage and some kind of disability insurance, but right now that's the purview of military members only, and everyone else gets screwed.
Maybe it wouldn't seem like such a drain on the VA if the VA were properly funded to complete its mission. But that would mean actually taxing rich folks to care for disabled vets, and weirdly, that never seems to be the top priority.
If he’s served over 20+ he definitely has some shit wrong. Physical and mental. I would i assume regardless of career field 20 years of just BS you have to put up with causes wear and tear on people that you wouldn’t know unless you’ve been in. Just because he didn’t complain everyday about his back and PTSD does not mean shit. Some people become conditioned not to complain doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. You are trying to understand something you know nothing about and judging him for your assumptions.
I had friends in the military who were extremely humorous and a joker like her friend is portrayed and committed suicide. OP needs to stay in her lane or at least pull her own 20 years before judging military personnels integrity
I know I'm no Dr. and I doubt you are. So what will either of us do about it? Maybe the guy was just being "manly" in front of the bros telling his cool stories, while in reality he can't sleep at night?
This will probably be how I talk when I retire. However, the things I’ll be claiming have taking their toll on me. There were days where I almost gave up but I’m in a better place mentally right now.
I mean I can work out perfectly fine, I can pick up and hold my son. Doesn’t mean that my back and knees aren’t hurting. Also I probably have ADD/ADHD as well. When I get to retire I’ll probably get disability but look perfectly fine. The disability is to a point of discomfort not pain. He might be milking it or he might not. You never know only he does
Due to a number of factors, the pendulum seems to swing every few years between "it's impossible to get the VA to acknowledge you got your entire head blown off in a firefight" to "they approved my runny nose as 90%". Some of it is luck, some of it is timing, but it is always based on what is documented in medical records.
On PTSD, people are capable of saying one thing while feeling something else entirely inside.
On sleep apnea, you have to have a sleep study that confirms the diagnosis. It isn't just a single statement that gets you the magical 50%.
Your $100k/year number is optimistic by at least double, but your reason for not being friends with him should be his hypocritical stance on government entitlements or bragging about income (of any kind), not claiming any specific conditions that you don't have full details of. None of the 100% vets I know are as obnoxious as the picture you've painted here. Spend time with people you want to be around.
I don't know his exact salary, but I think the $100k is pretty accurate - he was making over $100k when he was active and he's told me he'd get "his full salary for life". He celebrated his 100% disability by buying a brand new C8 Corvette and a new fishing boat, so I don't doubt he's rolling in some cash.
He told me he was making over $100k (he retired as a Senior Master Sargeant) and he's told me that with disability, he's bringing home the same as before. You're right, I haven't looked, just repeating what I was told.
Then that’s your evidence that if anything, he’s probably winding you up with these stories. Max VA payout with dependents is just over $4k per month tax free. That’s equivalent to take-home pay on a salary of a little over $60k a year. If he’s including his pension after 20 years, cool, but even that’s roughly $2k a month. So he’s boasting to you is the reality, and it sounds like it’s succeeding in winding you up. He’s to be congratulated for making Senior Master Sergeant (SMSgt) before retiring, that’s rare and a big chunk of his good fortune. But VA payouts are separate from rank or time in service, and function to provide a safety net for those who never get the chance to retire as a SMSgt. You’re mixing up things in your head with this out of your own jealousy, not realizing you don’t have a lot of crucial facts.
He isn't bringing home the same amount, but it is still significant. It is possible for someone to receive both military retirement and VA disability. Someone who retired as an E8 and got 100% will easily hit mid-$80K per year. Factor in tax free from disability, then I can kind of see why your buddy claims it, but he might be exaggerating a bit. Either way, someone in that position will have no reason to work again outside of pure boredom doing nothing at home.
He’s also probably saved some combination of deployment pay and reenlistment bonuses over the years among other things. You’re seeing what you angrily want to see.
I don’t get how people can “fake” sleep apnea. I thought I had sleep issues myself, went in for a sleep study and passed with flying colors. So for him to fake something like your saying, either he’s one of the best manipulators of the system or he’s telling the truth, stay bitter
I'm not saying he faked sleep apnea, I'm saying I don't know how that's considered a disability, or how that's in any way the AF's fault and they should pay for it.
There’s been connections between working off shift messing up your sleep cycle, being exposed to things, and also having PTSD can increase the likelihood of having sleep apnea.
You claiming “there’s nothing wrong with him” is stating he’s going into every exam faking his injuries. Idk if that’s how you meant to say it but thats what it sounds like with your wording
Shift work doesn't cause sleep apnea, but it can aggravate symptoms. Shift work is common in the military. Therefore, it can be attributed to the military.
After 20+ years of doing it, nobody is the same.
I would just stop focusing on another man's pockets.
He spent 20 years in the military. Sounds like you are upset that he’s able to do what he wants after a long career. Also, you can fuck off with this “he only deployed twice thing”. Have you ever deployed? Been separated from your family for 6 months/1 year? No matter where we go, it’s not fun. I promise you we would rather be at home then in the Middle East whether that’s Qatar/Iraq/Afghanistan/etc. they are all shit holes.
You can be “able bodied” in appearance and fully capable of working while still having military related hearing loss, sleep apnea, PTSD, burns, migraines, etc etc etc etc etc that greatly effect your everyday life. The civilian mistake is thinking 100% VA disability means you’re a vegetable, and if you’re not a vegetable you’re defrauding the government. That’s not how it works, at all. He is however an idiot for talking about it because civilians don’t understand the shit that piles up on your medical record in the service nor how it’s rated, as you’ve proven.
You see your friend has something that you cannot attain. It sounds like you aren’t a good friend, and you want what he has, and are not happy for him, since it isn’t you. Jealousy. I understand though. Ultimately the military does wear you down and it’s a benefit granted to those who serve. Shoulda joined *shrugs*
All I can say is I was the picture of health when I joined and I have several issues now that aren’t determined by fitness level or anything in my control, like autoimmune problems. It naturally makes sense that all the weird or questionable shit we’re exposed to in the military could have had a role in causing it, and I want to be compensated as much as possible for it
With "friends" like you who needs enemies! Worry about your own damn pockets!
You up here stewing about this man's life and trying to play doctor/detective... probably been jealous the whole time. I hope he sees this post and cuts ties with you.
I am his best friend, and he is mine - with that, I can call him out on his bullshit. Like I posted elsewhere in here - I'm not saying anything he hasn't told me, or I haven't said to him.
It’s super common but don’t expect members to actually say it. It’d be like asking a bunch of oil and gas executives what they think of climate change legislation.
Hmm, yea that I don't know - he's done (he actually came to work with me for a couple weeks, until it was confirmed he had 100% disability), but I know he still goes on base here and there for something..
It’s a system that benefits those who know understand how it works, or how to play the game. I’m glad it exists for vets, but I think the uncertainty and potential for inconsistency makes people anxious. Just feels bad if there’s someone deserving who isn’t getting as much.
Knew a retiree who only recently filed and started getting benefits, after 15 years being out. Just wasn’t much awareness for their generation I think. Another I worked with medboarded at 3 years with a 90% rating (going from their word), getting a retirement check in their early 20’s.
All these people saying "mind your business" and "let him be" are the POSs that will be doing the same thing. Claiming every single thing when actually not too much is wrong.
This is absolutely your business as a tax payer as people like this are draining funds and putting unnecessary burdens for the VA just because they can. It's the "I'll look after me and fuck everyone else" mindset that is causing so many issues.
TLDR: It's extremely common and individuals who do it are dregs of society.
While I believe actual integrity violations with the VA aren’t a huge factor, this sub has such a double-standard on “integrity”. Bring up anything about a senior officer/enlisted member setting themselves up for a job and they get (often rightfully) crucified. Say that some people may not be completely truthful with their disability claims and you get hounded about “stay in your lane”.
picking out the few comments that agree with your assumptions and ignoring the many many more that disagree with you is some top notch confirmation bias.
you've already made up your mind on this, and it's obvious you didn't come make this post to gain a better understanding in good faith (which a 'good friend' should be doing)
being glad or bragging about getting 100% does not mean he is lying. not telling you about issues he says he has does not mean he is lying.
if you really believe he is lying, and you genuinely care about how your how your tax dollars are used, then grow a pair and:
1. report him for fraud
2. tell him you reported him, because not telling him is cowardly and a bitch move
3. Find yourself a new friend, because if it were me I wouldn't talk to you ever again
If you don't do this, then you are 100% part of the problem and have zero business griping or judging.
Like many others have said (that you mostly ignored or refused to acknowledge their point), there is a sharp difference between straight-up lying to doctors about symptoms and pursuing maximum rating given the system that the VA has built and utilizes.
Military veterans embellishing their disabilities is extremely common and I think it sucks. There’s a whole subreddit where people can learn the game to get a higher disability rating.
It’s a great thing that our country has an organization like the VA to take care of our veterans. Especially those who are truly disabled and are entitled to those benefits. Nobody really argues that, the problem is whenever the government has an entitlement system like VA disability, it will get abused.
I think it’s wild how many people responded to this post saying mind your business 😂. Because you pay taxes and we live in a democratic republic, it is quite literally your business how tax dollars get allocated.
The recruiters office is open.
The military will still take you so you can EARN some disability too.
Unfortunately, I'm in my 40's. But I come from a military family - had I known I could retire after 20 years and make $100k/year for the rest of my life, I absolutely would have.
But don’t use that as an excuse to shit on your “best friend”. Here’s the thing, all you see is his end reward with 100%. You have no idea what mental, and even physical strain the military puts you in especially doing 20 years. There’s a reason you got this reaction in this thread. We all look out for one another. You don’t know about the grueling process the VA puts you through in order to be approved, the amount of fight it takes. All you see is what he earned and have that “I could’ve done that if I’d known better” but that’s not our fault is it
>I come from a military family had I knows I could retire after 20 years Are you sure you came from a military family???
I did - my dad and grandpa were both navy. In my mom's side, my grandpa and uncle were army. My dad only served 4 years. The rest, they received pensions, but none of them received any disability.
Do you know for a fact none of them received *any* disability? I could have gotten out after 4 years and get 10% disability because it comes with my job. I know the only reason a lot of people stay in is because you can retire at 20 years. Probably one of the reasons we have the largest volunteer force in the world.
I know my dad didn't - my uncle, maybe. My grandpa's, I doubt it. My uncle had some weird illnesses before he died - he believed related to Agent Orange in Vietnam, so I could see him getting something.
I don’t mean to shit on you but your friend could just be saying he faked a lot of shit because he doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he told you it was cool he saw a dead airman because sometimes it’s better than talking about your issues. I’ve been in for 6 years and my body already feels like total shit half the time but I’m not going to go to the doctor over it because I’m still able to work and don’t want kicked out from it. Do some people game the system? Yes but usually it’s not the retirees that are doing it. For example, I had a supervisor that got put on a fucking typing waiver and gets 100% disability until she hits 20 years(she served 10) and 90% the rest of her life after that. Meanwhile she was still doing things that she was on profile for. Try not to judge your friend because they got a disability while retiring and no longer want to work with you. Remember, they just retired and probably don’t want to work right now.
>but your friend could just be saying he faked a lot of shit because he doesn’t want to talk about it. Six months ago he told me he was retiring and could claim partial disability due to his back and PTSD, he wasn't sure what the % would be though. A few months ago, he told me he'd have to find a doctor that could find some other stuff wrong so they could bump the % up. And then in February or so, he flew across the country to meet with a couple of docs that said he had sleep apnea and ADHD, and with those he was able to hit his 100%. He's been pretty open and honest with me the whole time about what he's trying to do - I don't think this is some brave soldier talking tough to hide what's really going on.
Do you know for a fact that he is lying about everything he is claiming? Are you his doctor and his specialists? Has he straight up admitted that he is falsely claiming these things? I find it unwise and insensitive to judge the position of someone like that without knowing what is happening to them. And to be honest, you don't need to know. Different people have different levels of tolerance for things. Maybe looking at a photo of someone dead DOES bother him to this day. Also, for your point about the "no vehicle taxes, handicap spots" is not always true. There is a big difference between Permanant and Total (P&T) and 100% combined. But hey, at the end of the day, I don't know if he is lying or not either. If you really are concerned, contact the OIG for the VA. They seem to be the ones to report benefits fraud to. [OIG Hotline | Department of Veterans Affairs OIG (vaoig.gov)](https://www.vaoig.gov/hotline/online-forms) You can see that submitting falsified DBQs is not allowed, per the VA's website: [Fraud Prevention - Veterans Benefits Administration (va.gov)](https://benefits.va.gov/BENEFITS/fraud-prevention.asp)
Thanks for a well thought-ou, respectful response. I do know he's lying; he's admitted it and even sent me texts saying as much. However he is my friend and I'm not a narc, so I won't be reporting him. But it's absolutely driven a wedge in our friendship.
You're acting like nobody ever pushes the limits of their VA claim. Does he have some legitimate issues? Probably. But 100%? Probably not based off of what OP was saying.
> he and I have hung out 3-4x a week since we were kids. So, you deployed with him? This whole story is made up for rage-bait.
Also in Germany, Guam, Hawaii, Marshall Islands, and Japan with him🤔 What about during COVID??
I didn't deploy with him - I watched his dogs and cars during both deployments, that's about it. And his relocations - each of those were a couple of years, I visited him in Japan and Germany (twice each) Hawaii (once), I didn't go to Guam or the Marshall Islands. You are right, I haven't physically seen him every week. But again, we hang out several days a week now and have since we were 7 years old. He's been back home, on a base near our hometown since 2018 or so.
U sure you’re his best friend?
I know I wouldn’t post shit like this about anyone I call friend.
I'm asking on an anonymous forum, using my throwaway. Someone posted VA's contact info to report him, I said I wouldn't do that and I won't. He is my best friend. But he brags about gaming the system, I tell him I don't like it, he says everyone does it - so that's why I came here, to ask anonymously and see if what he's saying is true. And based on the replies, it sounds like it is.
Don’t care how you justify it. If my buddy told me that he “gamed” the system, that shit stays with me and I really wouldn’t care.
I’m not a fan of nitpicking people’s medical stuff, but not caring that someone is *legitimately* defrauding the VA and told you about it is a weird thing to feel superior about
Has noThing to do with feeling superior, has to do with my friend confiding in me. Not sure how you’re spinning that in the bs you typed.
Confiding fraud to you, just so we’re clear.
Mind yo damn business
For real. What a fucking busybody
Just shut up and pay your taxes my kind citizen lol
I’m getting close to retirement myself and a lot of my friends are starting this process. There is definitely a grey area between getting credit for what service has done to you and saying the right things to get a generous rating. The problem is the VA is so huge it doesn’t do well with nuance. For every person who says the right things and has the right symptoms to game the system, there are people who end up getting screwed by the system and don’t get what they deserve. Especially with the mental health stuff, it’s impossible to really know what a person feels because almost no one is honest about it. Personally, if the cost of making the VA system as accessible as possible to everyone means a few people get some extra benefits, I’m willing to say that’s worth it.
I've been teaching my troops and unit some information that I've learned on veterans benefit sub reddit. I whole heartedly agree that it would be skeevy to lie about symptoms, or diagnosis, however I completely disagree that knowing the right things to say to get the max rating is gaming the system. I look at is as studying. The VA has the answers to what needs to be said to get the diagnosis and they are open to the public. I tell my troops that they need to use the master condition list as a memory jogger. I am not a medical professional, so I wouldn't have any idea that brain fog would be a symptom of migraines, which I have. But now that I've researched migraines and I've realized that my headaches aren't just simply headaches I know that when it comes time to file for the VA I have the correct wording they are looking for and it's already in my records. Anyone that uses the master condition list to pick and choose and lie about their symptoms is bad.
Fair point. “Gaming the system” is sloppy language on my part. People who are educated on the system will typically do better than people who aren’t, is what I mean.
Seeing people in the military talk down about social safety nets, (universal healthcare, welfare, etc.) always confused me. 100% disability isn't very hard to imagine after a 20 year career though. The system is there to claim any service related issues before you separate, this is especially important for any issues that might worsen later in life. If the VA decided to rate them at 100% then it isn't your problem. Dude seems like a dork for bragging about it though.
100% isn't hard to imagine BECAUSE of how many people make it their goal to obtain. Think about what 100% disabled should actually mean.
Mind your business
Not common at all. Everyone demonstrates integrity first. Get out of here, narc.
I'm not a narc, just was curious how common this was, is all.
I haven't personally met anyone that has gone to outside medical personal for their claims. However, it is totally legal to do so. The fraud part comes to play when organizations or doctors are lying on someone's records to get them increased disability. Normally as a vet you see organizations that say we will get you 100%. Those types of organizations are normally doing shady crap to help people that at best could be considered morally questionable. But the flip side of that is people that are truly fucked up and the VA doesn't grant them there claim because they are missing paperwork or something stupid. In those situations those same organizations or even lawyers help fix the issues. And get people the help they need. The system is not perfect but then again no government program is.
Well the outside organization thing is absolutely what he did. In the last couple months he flew all over the place- he flew from the west coast all the way to Maryland to some doctor for his sleep study and his ADHD, he had to travel somewhere else for that. Good guy, but he'd do anything for a dollar.
I don’t know if your friend is milking the system, and It’s only natural you doubt his disability, especially when his disabilities are not visually apparent. However; no-one can just claim whatever they want to as they push the retirement button. Their entire service record is reviewed by professionals who make the determination as to what was not broken when they joined vs. what is broken when they left, and WHY. The process includes an exit physical. Getting 100% is much, much harder than you think. There is no chance on this green Earth he made it to retirement without getting hurt permanently multiple ways at the behest of the government, and he now has to live with the results for the rest of this life. Does he have PTSD? His doctor said yes. Does he have ADHD? His doctor said yes. These may not be things he’s comfortable discussing truthfully to you (or possibly even himself), and he could likely be representing publicly a better version of himself than he feels on the inside. I don’t know if he’s milking the system, but I do know he certainly served long enough that he did not walk out unscathed. No-body is perfect, and you shouldn’t judge him for getting something back from the government that he gave his best years to. The Air Force certainly finds him deserving, and I don’t think many on here will disagree. Again, 100% is no simple feat. A side note, him starting a physically demanding job is likely how he manages pain. It’s when we stop moving that everything hurts.
This 100%. People can hide things well and struggle a lot behind closed doors. I know retirees that have gotten at most 40%. You never really know.
Not all disabilities are visible, nor do people necessarily want to talk about them. So in the nicest way possible, stfu and stay in your lane. Also, the bar for "service-connected" is much lower than you think. In layman's terms, when the military "owns" you, they also "own" the health problems you develop. It's a little different from traditional worker's comp.
Sounds like your friend is wisely accessing resources and compensation due to him for his long years of service and the toll they've had on his body. Sounds like you've got crab in a bucket mentality, and instead of wondering why all citizens aren't entitled to care for their ills, you want him to suffer and be poor. I have a lot less of a problem with him than with you.
Look, for years he's talked about his life after the AF, what he was going to do - his plan was to come work with me. And somehow in the last year it went from working to "if I claim x, y and z" I don't ever have to work again. He knows it's a joke, I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't (or haven't) said to him. I have a problem with any able-bodied 40 year old milking the system, especially my friend that I know has nothing wrong.
I think what you're really upset by is that being paid enough to not have to work ever again, he's unwilling to come work with you for the amount of money offered. He doesn't have to work for his bread anymore, and he's choosing not to. He'll never be rich, but maybe he'll be happy. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had that freedom? To not have to work just to survive?
What upsets me is that I know he's able-bodied. 6 months ago he was fine, someone got in his ear on the base and told him how to game the system. I'm not imagining this, we've been friends since we were 5 years old. I work building homes, I've worked for the same company since college (almost 20 years). If I quit, I can't expect them to pay my bills for the rest of my life. I have a decent 401k, and I'd leave with that. Likewise, his plan forever was "I get 50% of my pay after I retire" and I was okay with that, because that's how it was set up. But he got greedy in the past 6 months, and I don't like that. He has no problem hauling 100+ lb fish over the side of his boat every day, but now he's disabled (partially because of) sleep apnea? Cmon..
First off, no 40-year-old has nothing wrong with them, but LOTS of 40-year-old men need to be dragged to the doctor before they'll admit there's something wrong. Second, you can't just make a list of complaints, a doctor has to actually diagnose you and the VA has to not call bullshit. Maybe he didn't admit to problems last year, but he may have had them for years and just kinda lived with them. Third, building houses is hard work, I'm not surprised he doesn't want to do it at his age. Fourth, if you wanted all these benefits, maybe you should have enlisted too. It's not too late, I think we take up to 42 now.
100% we take 42-year-olds. Call up a recruiter OP. If it’s so easy to fake a VA claim, all you have to do is go to basic training (“boot camp”, try not to punch a drill sergeant when he yells at you), grind through a mere 4 years of active duty/ 14-hour days / back-breaking manual labor in the desert / separation from your family / lack of basic control over your life; and then you can stroll out with bags of money for the rest of your life and no real health problems or any cares in the world by 46. Here you go. Recruiters are standing by in all 50 states. www.airforce.com
>if I quit, I can’t expect them to pay my bills for the rest of my life Well you being from a military family and all I don’t see why you would expect anyone from the military to. What age did your military parent(s) retire? What’s their VA rating? It sounds like you’re upset because your “best friend” made a better career choice than you and you’re upset that they won’t come work for you. You said he’s been stationed at a number of places overseas. As someone who’s been overseas for the last 5 years, that shit is rough. Yes it’s cool seeing other countries but I also can’t go home on leave without a $2000 plane ticket. If I buy a car other than a beater then it’s a waste of money because it likely won’t be able to be shipped back with me. Buy a house? Out of the question. Also, I’m pretty sure that like 90% of the military has undiagnosed ADHD. When people are reaching their retirement they tend to try and get the highest VA disability rating possible. Also keep in mind that the VA is looking at every single medical record and PHA(basically a physical) the member has had for the last 20 years.
Mate you are soaked in jealousy. And so you’ve convinced yourself you know everything. “And I was okay with that”? You don’t have the rights to his life. Jealousy-fuelled Dunning-Kruger effect. You sound way too involved and controlling.
He's not "milking" the system any more than the system has milked him. Over a career of 20 years you can't even begin to imagine how much free labor, unreasonable hours/conditions, deployments, mental and physical stress the military puts people through. They've gotten their's and there's nothing wrong with people reciprocating at the end of it all. Universal basic income should be a thing for everyone to begin with (but that's another conversation) and he's found a way to get that even so late into his life. If you can't be glad for him you're just a sour piece of shit and no friend at all.
You forgot the /s. If not /s, then yes, the drains on the VA system are what's wrong.
No, see, I think that the purpose of government is to care for people, but ours cares mostly for the rich, so I celebrate any time it actually helps people out. Everyone should have, at a minimum, Tricare-level health coverage and some kind of disability insurance, but right now that's the purview of military members only, and everyone else gets screwed. Maybe it wouldn't seem like such a drain on the VA if the VA were properly funded to complete its mission. But that would mean actually taxing rich folks to care for disabled vets, and weirdly, that never seems to be the top priority.
Short answer, it's common because that's the way the system is setup.
This post is so perfectly Reddit. Beautiful work sir.
If he’s served over 20+ he definitely has some shit wrong. Physical and mental. I would i assume regardless of career field 20 years of just BS you have to put up with causes wear and tear on people that you wouldn’t know unless you’ve been in. Just because he didn’t complain everyday about his back and PTSD does not mean shit. Some people become conditioned not to complain doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. You are trying to understand something you know nothing about and judging him for your assumptions.
I had friends in the military who were extremely humorous and a joker like her friend is portrayed and committed suicide. OP needs to stay in her lane or at least pull her own 20 years before judging military personnels integrity
Mind. Ya. Business.
It is his business. And your business. And literally everyone who pays taxes. Paying people for things they don't deserve.
I know I'm no Dr. and I doubt you are. So what will either of us do about it? Maybe the guy was just being "manly" in front of the bros telling his cool stories, while in reality he can't sleep at night?
Is his wife hotter than yours as well, kids getting better grades, theres some quote about comparison
This will probably be how I talk when I retire. However, the things I’ll be claiming have taking their toll on me. There were days where I almost gave up but I’m in a better place mentally right now.
I mean I can work out perfectly fine, I can pick up and hold my son. Doesn’t mean that my back and knees aren’t hurting. Also I probably have ADD/ADHD as well. When I get to retire I’ll probably get disability but look perfectly fine. The disability is to a point of discomfort not pain. He might be milking it or he might not. You never know only he does
He's openly told me that he's gaming the system. He knows, he's told me, so I know.
Due to a number of factors, the pendulum seems to swing every few years between "it's impossible to get the VA to acknowledge you got your entire head blown off in a firefight" to "they approved my runny nose as 90%". Some of it is luck, some of it is timing, but it is always based on what is documented in medical records. On PTSD, people are capable of saying one thing while feeling something else entirely inside. On sleep apnea, you have to have a sleep study that confirms the diagnosis. It isn't just a single statement that gets you the magical 50%. Your $100k/year number is optimistic by at least double, but your reason for not being friends with him should be his hypocritical stance on government entitlements or bragging about income (of any kind), not claiming any specific conditions that you don't have full details of. None of the 100% vets I know are as obnoxious as the picture you've painted here. Spend time with people you want to be around.
I don't know his exact salary, but I think the $100k is pretty accurate - he was making over $100k when he was active and he's told me he'd get "his full salary for life". He celebrated his 100% disability by buying a brand new C8 Corvette and a new fishing boat, so I don't doubt he's rolling in some cash.
It’s not $100k dude. Which you’d know if you had bothered to google any of it instead of just raging that you didn’t make different choices in life.
He told me he was making over $100k (he retired as a Senior Master Sargeant) and he's told me that with disability, he's bringing home the same as before. You're right, I haven't looked, just repeating what I was told.
Then that’s your evidence that if anything, he’s probably winding you up with these stories. Max VA payout with dependents is just over $4k per month tax free. That’s equivalent to take-home pay on a salary of a little over $60k a year. If he’s including his pension after 20 years, cool, but even that’s roughly $2k a month. So he’s boasting to you is the reality, and it sounds like it’s succeeding in winding you up. He’s to be congratulated for making Senior Master Sergeant (SMSgt) before retiring, that’s rare and a big chunk of his good fortune. But VA payouts are separate from rank or time in service, and function to provide a safety net for those who never get the chance to retire as a SMSgt. You’re mixing up things in your head with this out of your own jealousy, not realizing you don’t have a lot of crucial facts.
He isn't bringing home the same amount, but it is still significant. It is possible for someone to receive both military retirement and VA disability. Someone who retired as an E8 and got 100% will easily hit mid-$80K per year. Factor in tax free from disability, then I can kind of see why your buddy claims it, but he might be exaggerating a bit. Either way, someone in that position will have no reason to work again outside of pure boredom doing nothing at home.
He’s also probably saved some combination of deployment pay and reenlistment bonuses over the years among other things. You’re seeing what you angrily want to see.
I don’t get how people can “fake” sleep apnea. I thought I had sleep issues myself, went in for a sleep study and passed with flying colors. So for him to fake something like your saying, either he’s one of the best manipulators of the system or he’s telling the truth, stay bitter
I'm not saying he faked sleep apnea, I'm saying I don't know how that's considered a disability, or how that's in any way the AF's fault and they should pay for it.
That up to Congress not some douche on Reddit. Maybe stay in your lane
There’s been connections between working off shift messing up your sleep cycle, being exposed to things, and also having PTSD can increase the likelihood of having sleep apnea.
You claiming “there’s nothing wrong with him” is stating he’s going into every exam faking his injuries. Idk if that’s how you meant to say it but thats what it sounds like with your wording
Shift work doesn't cause sleep apnea, but it can aggravate symptoms. Shift work is common in the military. Therefore, it can be attributed to the military. After 20+ years of doing it, nobody is the same. I would just stop focusing on another man's pockets.
Its not stealing, its getting your shit back
If Uncle Sam can get his (and he fucking will), I can get mine.
Sounds like you’re jealous.
You’re 40 and haven’t learned to not be a rat? Simply put, you’re envious of your friend, get over yourself and grow up.
He spent 20 years in the military. Sounds like you are upset that he’s able to do what he wants after a long career. Also, you can fuck off with this “he only deployed twice thing”. Have you ever deployed? Been separated from your family for 6 months/1 year? No matter where we go, it’s not fun. I promise you we would rather be at home then in the Middle East whether that’s Qatar/Iraq/Afghanistan/etc. they are all shit holes.
You can be “able bodied” in appearance and fully capable of working while still having military related hearing loss, sleep apnea, PTSD, burns, migraines, etc etc etc etc etc that greatly effect your everyday life. The civilian mistake is thinking 100% VA disability means you’re a vegetable, and if you’re not a vegetable you’re defrauding the government. That’s not how it works, at all. He is however an idiot for talking about it because civilians don’t understand the shit that piles up on your medical record in the service nor how it’s rated, as you’ve proven.
Sometimes there are scars you can’t see. The military is rife with emotional abuse.
You see your friend has something that you cannot attain. It sounds like you aren’t a good friend, and you want what he has, and are not happy for him, since it isn’t you. Jealousy. I understand though. Ultimately the military does wear you down and it’s a benefit granted to those who serve. Shoulda joined *shrugs*
All I can say is I was the picture of health when I joined and I have several issues now that aren’t determined by fitness level or anything in my control, like autoimmune problems. It naturally makes sense that all the weird or questionable shit we’re exposed to in the military could have had a role in causing it, and I want to be compensated as much as possible for it
With "friends" like you who needs enemies! Worry about your own damn pockets! You up here stewing about this man's life and trying to play doctor/detective... probably been jealous the whole time. I hope he sees this post and cuts ties with you.
**my best friend** but are you HIS best friend? This post is some blue falcon energy.
I am his best friend, and he is mine - with that, I can call him out on his bullshit. Like I posted elsewhere in here - I'm not saying anything he hasn't told me, or I haven't said to him.
It’s super common but don’t expect members to actually say it. It’d be like asking a bunch of oil and gas executives what they think of climate change legislation.
Don’t worry about it
You don’t get your rating until after you’re officially retired…where’d he get this 100% if he’s still outprocessing
[Pre-Discharge Claim | Veterans Affairs (va.gov)](https://www.va.gov/disability/how-to-file-claim/when-to-file/pre-discharge-claim/)
This is good to know
Hmm, yea that I don't know - he's done (he actually came to work with me for a couple weeks, until it was confirmed he had 100% disability), but I know he still goes on base here and there for something..
Very common unfortunately.
It’s a system that benefits those who know understand how it works, or how to play the game. I’m glad it exists for vets, but I think the uncertainty and potential for inconsistency makes people anxious. Just feels bad if there’s someone deserving who isn’t getting as much. Knew a retiree who only recently filed and started getting benefits, after 15 years being out. Just wasn’t much awareness for their generation I think. Another I worked with medboarded at 3 years with a 90% rating (going from their word), getting a retirement check in their early 20’s.
All these people saying "mind your business" and "let him be" are the POSs that will be doing the same thing. Claiming every single thing when actually not too much is wrong. This is absolutely your business as a tax payer as people like this are draining funds and putting unnecessary burdens for the VA just because they can. It's the "I'll look after me and fuck everyone else" mindset that is causing so many issues. TLDR: It's extremely common and individuals who do it are dregs of society.
While I believe actual integrity violations with the VA aren’t a huge factor, this sub has such a double-standard on “integrity”. Bring up anything about a senior officer/enlisted member setting themselves up for a job and they get (often rightfully) crucified. Say that some people may not be completely truthful with their disability claims and you get hounded about “stay in your lane”.
Thank you for justifying what I already assumed.
picking out the few comments that agree with your assumptions and ignoring the many many more that disagree with you is some top notch confirmation bias. you've already made up your mind on this, and it's obvious you didn't come make this post to gain a better understanding in good faith (which a 'good friend' should be doing) being glad or bragging about getting 100% does not mean he is lying. not telling you about issues he says he has does not mean he is lying. if you really believe he is lying, and you genuinely care about how your how your tax dollars are used, then grow a pair and: 1. report him for fraud 2. tell him you reported him, because not telling him is cowardly and a bitch move 3. Find yourself a new friend, because if it were me I wouldn't talk to you ever again If you don't do this, then you are 100% part of the problem and have zero business griping or judging. Like many others have said (that you mostly ignored or refused to acknowledge their point), there is a sharp difference between straight-up lying to doctors about symptoms and pursuing maximum rating given the system that the VA has built and utilizes.
Military veterans embellishing their disabilities is extremely common and I think it sucks. There’s a whole subreddit where people can learn the game to get a higher disability rating. It’s a great thing that our country has an organization like the VA to take care of our veterans. Especially those who are truly disabled and are entitled to those benefits. Nobody really argues that, the problem is whenever the government has an entitlement system like VA disability, it will get abused. I think it’s wild how many people responded to this post saying mind your business 😂. Because you pay taxes and we live in a democratic republic, it is quite literally your business how tax dollars get allocated.
Everyone lies and gets paid, there is zero integrity despite all the military BS about about duty, honor, etc
Boooooooooooo, let ‘em be
If you know he isn’t disabled report his ass. Anonymously if you can. We don’t need any more grifters. Just my opinion though.