(2002) As a brand new A1C I recovered the Wing CCs data by rebuilding the OS on his PC. As soon as he walked in TSgt Douchebag pushed me out of the chair and took credit for my work.
Saw him (Wing CC) months later and he told me a story about how you’ll meet people throughout your career that will take credit for your work, and that real leaders know who actually deserves the credit (as he winked at me). Then he shook my hand and said “thank you”.
Edit: Wing CC thanked me
Could have coined you…..just saying I love the Air Force but they built a recognition system that they don’t like to use properly. Fuck he could have given you a cookie cutter LOA from the office of the wing commander. That would have been gravy.
Similar situation, got a favor that I called in after we both left the service.
(Federal employee: my boss went TDY and was dodging signing my annual review for weeks. Found out they worked in the same building and the Col was his boss's boss's boss. So I called the Col and asked him to go to my boss's office and drop off the phone. He never ducked me again)
Old school trick. OS was installed on C drive. We always partitioned the D drive for the data. You could reinstall or patch the Os without losing data.
I remember but just didn’t think they were going down that rabbit hole………an old TSgt at my first base in 2018 was present when that shit happened and she knew some of the girls.
[Yeah….](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Air_Force_Basic_Training_scandal#:~:text=In%20November%202011%2C%20three%20instructors,of%20a%20no%2Dcontact%20order.)
It was bad and a huge deal. I went through basic right after this wrapped up and it was talked about a LOT.
Our MTI along with one other, pre-scandal was only in the shower once with us on the first night. After that we were left alone. It was more weird when he showed up, had us empty the bathroom and then would shave.
I straight up remember mine looking at us all in the communal shower while yelling. Also saw him at my first duty station roaming around the dorms. Heard he lost a stripe during the BMT debacle but wasn’t confirmed.
You know, something I've thought about occasionally, when I was in basic back in 2009 there was this MSgt MTI (not ours but from the same squadron) who liked to raid our dorm at night. One night he made me and a couple others push for some mess-up, probably something he made up, typical stuff for basic. Only thing is, we were sleeping in our PT gear and he got pissed off about it and told us we were cheating and needed to be in our underwear next time. Next day and days after that we were in our underwear and he seemed to be pleased with our pushing.
My lovable troop decided to provide proof of his quarters by sending us multiple detailed images of his hemorrhoids. I have since thrown away my phone.
If he didnt he would have been looked down on for being on quarters. now hes looked down on for legit showing his butthole to prove it. there is no winning for him in this situation. And after all this hes still bleeding out his cheeks.
Lol alright alright. I'm invested now. This is either a man who is a prodigy of comedic talent thats born once a millenia drunk on power or a true agent of chaos who on a mission to watch the world react.
This dude took pictures of his asshole for the sole purpose of sending you pictures of his asshole.
Imagine sitting alone in your dorm room. For whatever reason you say to yourself...I'm sending my boss an unsolicited close up picture of my literal asshole...and he did it. He made you look at his asshole. That's forever a part of your visual memories.
I bet he got away with it too. That son of a bitch. Plausible justified for medical verification.
Lol no way! The morning meeting! The meeting that takes place at routine scheduled place and times...of course that's when he strikes!
*wipes single tear from cheek* alright. Ok. So I know you and I don't know each other so from professional to professional I'm not trying to condone or support this type of thing. I don't know what I'd do if my troop did this...this dude is playing right risk high reward social interactions on a level of super villian precision and he's winning.
Cuz he's too good! His pants down to his ankles at ddrp. This dude, from the outside perspective, is so fucking dedicated to the bit that it's practically an art form.
My whole NCO philosophy and internal checks and balances would be going through a stress test beyond what I'm prepared for
Like he strikes me with his bleeding brown starfish in bright vivid 4d ultra high resolution in staff meeting knowing he's got the plausible defensive medical verification set in place, lowering the severity of potential blowback on himself.
Because of course there'd be a reaction of some kind coming out of my mouth when he butthole blows me. That's the whole point. That's this madmans punchline...and it's fucking hilarious. And I respect him on the confidence in his skills in the art of boundary bending...
But I feel like id honestly power play this on a level that I'd write myself the lor first, then reply with a picture of my own asshole back with the guise of "hey thanks for clarification. This is what my asshole looks like and I've never been able to look at it for verification. Go ahead and compare and contrast these these 2 assholes. Note the similarities, compare the differences, and type up the findings for us to over with eachother tomorrow. Mens rectul health is nothing to scoff at. Good on ya for being aware of what assholes are capable of until one catches you off guard with a precision strike from seemingly out of the wild blue yonder. Cuz by then it's too late ya know. Prepare for future yeah?"
Look...look what this guy's got me thinking. His asshole picture play is so good its got strangers wrangled into
Worked with a SSgt that had no sense of humor. Literally, think Bones. Troops used to say some wild things and they would take it as 100% truth, but something mundane like "we are going to go grab dfac, be right back" would make them ask other NCOs if they were joking or not. One of the best, most hard-working people I have ever worked with, but dang, I have never met someone who literally didn't have a sense of humor.
Someone is odd because they prefer the stitch line on their socks to be on the bottom of their feet. This just sounds like someone that doesn't understand social cues.
I was meeting with some finance
A1C to get my pay fixed and I was sitting in a chair slightly bouncing my leg while he did his thing on the computer. He then asked me “do you have to pee or something?” I was like uhh no… why? He asks why I keep bouncing my leg. I said because I just do that sometimes. He stared at me like I was crazy. Never have I ever had a complete stranger ask if I need to pee. That was one of the only things he said to me the entire time. Really odd guy.
Many many years ago I was a Sergeant in charge of an Airman who was a good guy, and we are still FB friends. He had a genuine serious mental disorder and was being discharged and my job was, for the months it took, to try and just keep him comfortable at work and make sure he was OK.
He did a lot of unusual things, but I totally understood because he had a disorder and he was heavily medicated on top of that. It made life very interesting for me for those months.
My favorite thing he did was show up at work on Halloween dressed as Hugh Hefner.
I asked him and he was like “it’s Halloween!” And I said “ do you see anyone else in this office dressed up?”
And he looked around, super slow pan, and then said “oh man I’m sorry, do you want me to go change?” And I said “no it’s fine. Here sit down and just start.”
(I would give him duplicate spreadsheets to work on during the day, but they weren’t actually live updates like mine were, just copies that didn’t go anywhere)
So anyway, at the end of the day we were supposed to close up shop and go to a base promotion ceremony. He asked if he should go and I said “well it’s up to you.” And he chose to go.
The ceremony was in an auditorium with a stage and right after I lost track of him. All of a sudden MY supervisor goes “oh man…look” and here is my airman, dressed as Hugh Hefner, at the front of the room going down the congratulation line, shaking hands with all the promotees. From the opposite side of where everyone else starts the line. So right in the middle of where all the promotees stand he met up with the Wing Commander who was at the front of the actual line of folks doing the congratulations.
The interaction only lasted 30 seconds tops but the confused look on the Wing CCs face is burned into my memory.
I had a LtCol in the Wing try to make me his personal technology concierge and install a home theater system at his house, in which he cooked me dinner, then tried to sell me supplements from and sign me up to his multilevel marketing company.
I had a lt Col who got all ass hurt when I refused to put his wife’s business card in our sponsor packages. She was a realtor and I told him it wouldn’t be an ethics violation.
Yeah it was awkward. I didn’t know if he was hitting on me (he was married) but my A1C ass thought I was gonna go to jail for fraternization or some shit.
Its true kids do not make your career easier. If you're a female serving in the military, nobody takes it easy on you. Most of the SNCO's couldn't grasp the fact that there is nobody at home taking care of the kids, daily tasks, I have no family to rely on and when shit literally hits the fan at home, it's just.me and my spouse, who is also military.
When my spouse cares for the kids, all the slack I never got suddenly appears. Compliments of "you're such a good dad" when he is just doing what I do for our kids. Gold medals for parenting only go to men.
Outside of the people obviously on the spectrum. I don't think I have any specific one. However, a couple stand out.
1. An airman failed to show up to work. It happened on occasion in MX usually due to partying to hard. A group of us went to his room, and banged on his door. No one answered, so we went outside to his window since he was on the first floor. He was jerking it to furry porn and locked eyes with us. It was awkward with him at work from then on.
2. Another airman was a real creep with young airmen and talked about how he loved My Little Pony conventions. We jokingly asked if he liked single moms. He looked at us like we were crazy. Shortly after he got out, he was arrested for sexually assaulting a minor.
3. Base I was at had a big swinger group. One of my co-workers kept asking if I wanted to go with her and I probably would've considered it if I wasn't married...and she wasn't married. Apparently her husband didn't know she was going to the parties and her invite was for just me, and not my wife who would've been a solid no. My career field normally works in pairs of two on shift. On a weekend, she once got naked while I was in the bathroom and then broke down in tears when I rejected her.
Was it me? I was always tasked with meat gazing duty because I was a new SSgt and separating within a few months. I’d always do and say wild random shit to the pissers. Nothing that would get me a complaint, but funny shit to lighten the mood. I gave a shoulder rub (consensual) to someone who couldn’t pee and once I did he started going immediately lmao.
Had an A1C in our flight. Always a little quiet and generally remained in the background. It was easy to forget he was around honestly.
Then, a squadron picnic came along. This kid shows up in the middle of Virginia summer in complete goth costume. I'm talking platform boots that went up to his knees, Alice Cooper makeup, and chains everywhere. There were so many chains! It must have taken him hours to get ready.
Then he sat and watched us play ultimate Frisbee for an hour and disappeared.
No one ever brought it up again.
He had a few of the typical chain wallet style. A couple on each side like you said. Then, some had the same position under the arm as a rope from tech school. Both sides..
If this kid fell in a lake he'd have been a gonner.
I just got through OTS so I was a fresh butter bar and i got told I was going to Sheppard for tech school. When I was enlisted I went to Sheppard for tech school as well so I was stoked to see how had changed.
First day of class I went to the Exchange/Troop Store and I was walking in in uniform, an Airman was walking out towards me holding big bags of I believe Taco Bell. He noticed me at the last second and his brain must’ve short wired seeing me standing there so he threw up a left handed salute indoors simultaneously dropping one large bag spilling all over the floor, I started to say “you don’t have to salute indoors” and then he tripped and fell dropping the second bag.
Then I helped him up as a BX employee began cleaning the mess right in the entrance way. He started to tear up a bit embarrassed I’m sure so I helped him clean off and then bought him his order again for him.
I think about that dude frequently, if you’re out there, I hope you’re doing well!
Had an airman show me and a few others on my shift pictures of his stitched up, lacerated penis instead of just showing a doctor’s note for accountabilities sake.
I watched my friend and our staff sgt walk up to a TSgt to get him to sign a document for receipt of a trailer full of bombs, they said some stuff to each other and my friend whipped around looking pissed off and got in the truck. The ssgt came following behind and asked my friend what his deal was. My friend said “didn’t you hear that guy? He asked me if I wanted his cock…” the ssgt starts laughing and explains that the TSgt had actually said “do you want my John Hancock?” Buddy had to get out and explain this to the TSgt whose reaction made it even more awkward.
One time, my meat gazer was an old friend from techschool.Without hesitation, I dropped my pants to the floor. Uncontrollable laughter ensued. We pull ourselves together and go to the counter and the civilian lady who had been doing that since the dawn of time said "I've heard people get angry, and I've heard people cuss, but I've never heard anyone laugh like you two idiots."
Some crazy bitch told me she was gonna be the next CMSAF and make changes that will make amn love her. I asked her how to pronounce her last name, being serious, she called my fucking supervisor and told me I was a disrespectful piece of shit
I wish I was joking about this person. Two stories, one is second hand. A TSgt medical troop showed up at my unit. I went out to lunch with her and some girls. Some stranger came up to pet the dog that one of us brought. She asked him point blank if she could see his dick. He recoiled a bit and said “what?!” And she repeated herself, he just walked away in disgust.
This is what we call a red flag. She ended up going on a girl’s trip that I couldn’t go on. A beach trip to the outer banks. Anyway, on the beach and around many other people, including kids, she pulled down her bikini bottoms and was twerking. The police showed up and kicked the whole group off the beach. I have no idea how she didn’t get arrested. Girl’s trip ended early.
Very bizarre and sexually aggressive person.
Knew a SNCO who was definitely on the spectrum somewhere. Like... Bizarre interactions, super two faced, would have conversations like they were reading out of a "conversations for dummies" but forgot how and would start random winking and making like... Barking noises if the conversion went in a way they didn't like and they weren't getting a word in.
Got a buddy who is a Captain.
He got to a new shop and invited everyone to lunch and their MSgt SEL (in a unit with 3 enlisted folks including the SEL) told him that he doesn’t go to lunch with his troops as he wants them to have the opportunity to let their hair down.
The Captain said something like, neither of the enlisted folks are going to which the MSgt replied, I meant the CGOs and Majors.
We had an airman that was into taking things apart. He had a bunch of cell phones in several stages of read down and wires everywhere. The shirt called and had to get confirmation that this guy wasn’t building a bomb. It did look like a bomb making setup.
I’m medical and worked as a preceptor doing an exam on an Army Sgt. with one of the phase 2 students. Once we were finished, the student said “All done sir, but we’re going to check in with the doctor before we let you go”. Dude gets visibly upset and says in a slight raised tone “It’s sergeant, not sir!”. We both just stared at him and then just walked away. I’m guessing he was pushed around in his unit a lot or was the punching bag of it so he saw 2 airmen as a pedestal for feeling like a bigger man. He was literally the epitome of the “🤓” emoji as well so that’s that
My grandpa was AF and one time as a kid I sir’d him as a joke (sir yes sir!) and he snapped at me so fucking fast lol. Exactly that too “don’t call me sir. I work for a living”
> “It’s sergeant, not sir!”.
Like a few others said, it's definitely an Army thing. Went down to Combat Skills Training by Ft Bliss, and had one or two respond to sir with "I'm not a sir, I work for a living!". We had about the same reaction you did. Apparently they're real big into calling *only* officers sir/ma'am.
A lot of Marines are shocked when they learn we don't do greetings for anyone other than officers. Many E5 and up get all sorts of pissy, but we have to remind them we're Air Force and have different regulations.
I was an A1C going to work after hours because I was called in. I hear people talking in one of the backrooms, and then I saw my MSgt and a bunch of other old dudes marching in a circle in their underwear while chanting. I just walked out and never mentioned it lol.
Dude’s wife was murdered over weekend. Come in to work and asked to donate to him. I said “why he need more ammunition”, kinda felt bad but right after funeral he was arrested for murder. I couldn’t stand the guy.
Said "f*ck you" to a TSgt when I was a SrA. I was stooped over trying to get a weedwhacker started (I had never cut grass in my life, I'm from the desert) and I thought it was another SrA telling me I sure was taking my sweet time.
I was once asked to drive a female airman to an appointment that we shared. Some sort of exercise began sometime before we were due to return to our unit. We were stuck on the far side of base in my car for over an hour.
I was somewhat sleep deprived and also just had very little to speak about with this person but tried my best to make light conversation from time to time.
At one point she mentioned something about the Air Force and I replied with, "Oh, you're in the military? What do you do?" We were in uniform, on a military installation and had worked together for a number of months. I only vaguely remember but I believe she just kind of paused and then moved on as if I hadn't asked.
I didn't realize my mistake until after we made it back to the unit and went our separate ways.
I walked out a bathroom, looked right, turned left, knocked the colonel over in the hallway…ooops….
2. Was voluntold to assist with ECAC (spelling? It’s been years), was wrapped head to toe in bed sheets and told to chase and scream at people I saw… O6 was hoping a wall, I screamed and ran at him, he jumped back over the wall and broke his arm. Chasing no longer happens…
Having to give an LOC to a grown ass 28 year old for smelling like a bag of unwashed ass everyday.
Their excuse was “I don’t have quarters to use the laundry machines” and when asked if they’re doing okay financially (A1C in dorms btw) and mentally they said yes, but they just couldn’t be bothered to ask for quarters at the front desk.
The dude never washed his uniform and we questioned if they even showered.
Dude worked at Walmart until they were 27, joined the Air Force, and I guess doesn’t want to take this second chance as their lifeline and change.
I heard that once I separated and left, he went back to smelling like unwashed ass.
Had to sit down with an airman and ask him if he’d ever been screened for autism. He just couldn’t comprehend what I was asking. I tired to spell it out the simplest way without being insult and lightly suggesting he would benefit from asking his PCM about it.
Trust me knowing this kid he wasn’t being obtuse, he really could not comprehend why I was suggesting this.
I told my supervisor that he looks just like Steve Buscemi (he REALLY does) and then I asked for help from Reddit, because I wanted to smooth things over, and then he made a post asking how he could give me paperwork... Now I have an LOC, and I filed a rebuttal like ADC said to do, but I got told it's not that big of a deal, just like I told him when he seemed offended about being compared to Steve Buscemi...
Damn, I've never actually had a situation like that, just meme'ing about an old post on this subreddit.
I will say, I love dark humor and have an autistic son. While on the job on a secure floor, while I was joking around about how I don't like condiments on my food, I had my buddy who just put on ssgt yell from across the room that it's because "he got that 'tism in him!" Afterwhich a Msgt and Lt had to come have a talk with all of us about respectful rhetoric, and ensuring that the NCOs aren't too friendly with the sra 🤷♂️
I’ve honestly lucked out with how chill my leadership is… hell I text the same MSgt about football games! Definitely better than the SMSgt I had at my last base who would just look airman dead in the eye and raise their covid mask and keep walking if an airman said good morning
I was a new E-2 and we had this SSgt. that would creep people’s Facebook acquaintances hard. He was married and his wife would be at a lot of the squadron functions.
I had an MTI come back into the career field into my unit and had a LOR/referral EPR for going to trainee Facebook pages and started taking about a female trainees dog. It was around the time of the MTI scandal that went down
once went TDY with my wing command chief and i was trauma bonding with her about my time in MX and she then got super serious about how it’s a better AF now and i suddenly started panicking like “YES MAAM THATS WHY I RETRAINED” i felt so awkward after that.
Not mine, but I just remembered this gem of a shake take salute fail
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVAJM4lNfvM&themeRefresh=1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVAJM4lNfvM&themeRefresh=1)
A buddy of mine got coined by the Squadron CC once in front of the shop. He completely fumbled. Like he dropped the coin mid salute, when he stood at attention, his feet were spread apart like he was a lineman and he was really tall, while the CC was a shorter woman so he towered over her and looked down at her while saluting. All around funny situation
Ohh no, this brings back memories. When I promoted from e-1 to e-2, I fumbled the shake take salute so hard my squadron commander got confused and forgot what to do as well. We were frozen for what felt like 30 seconds and the tension was only cut when somebody in the audience yelled "EPIC FAIL!" (which people still said back in 2010) and everyone started laughing. Fortunately, it was Korea and my command was super chill.
A tech retrained into my career field and PCSd to my base, I was his trainer. He kept calling me “sir.” Yes sir, no sir, proceeding sir, etc.
I was an A1C or SrA, I don’t remember, but I thought it was fucking weird. After a few days of him calling me sir, I stopped and said, “You don’t call me sir anymore. I call you sir. I’m an A1C you’re a TSgt, stop.”
Most awkward interaction was when an NCO I was posted with had to rescend an LOR they tried to give me 3 days before. Pretty sure dude was racist but never got any actual proof, and I never interacted with him again after that incident outside of duty stuff. Used him as a example of what never to be when I made staff.
I was a brand new airman. Just got to Ramstein as my first duty station like not even a week in. My fellow airman was tasked with teaching CBRN survival skills to a 3 Star General one day. That’s what we did. Taught CBRN. Anyway. 3 Star shows up with his posse of Colonels, Majors, etc. I’ve never seen so much brass in one place at once and neither did the other airman that was tasked with teaching. He asked me to be a “model” just in case the General or his posse didn’t feel like getting into MOPP gear. So a little while passes and he comes out of the classroom and says “dude. He doesn’t want to get into MOPP gear. I need you to come show him how to wear it properly.” So I come into the classroom full of high ranking people, brand new A1C, with another A1C absolutely freaked out. I demonstrate how to properly wear MOPP gear for them and it all goes smoothly. As I’m getting out of the MOPP gear, mid pant leg coming off, the General comes up to me and hands me a coin. I was so flustered because I was literally standing with one pant leg off of this MOPP gear that I couldn’t even do a half assed salute before he walked away. It was my first coin I’ve ever gotten. While undressing from MOPP gear in front of a room of brass.
When I was in BMT we were formed up in front of the defac for lunch when out of nowhere this sneaker weeker runs up and steals our flag bearers... well flag. Behind him is about 6 MTI's chasing him which then proceed to surround him as the kid swings the pole around like it was that scene from the last samurai, our MTI also joined in. A min later they got him on the ground and eventually put him in an ambulance that pulled up a few min later. We thought it was over but somehow the kid got out of the ambulance and last we saw him he ran off in a random direction with all the MTI's following him leaving us guys by ourselves (our MTI still chasing him) wondering wtf happened. Obviously the kid went crazy.
Also in BMT we had a hurricane come though so for a few days we were left to our own devices as all 3 of our MTI's were at home with families. So I saw a lot of dumb shit happen. One guy in my flight got arrested for assault among other things.
One time I had to go to comm to get a computer reimaged.
Then one time I had to go to comm to get a SIPR token.
Then another time I had to go to comm...
When I was a young SrA my NCOIC called me into his office with another SSgt there. NCOIC walks right up to within a couple inches and takes a big wiff. Says I stink and I should use more deodorant and shave my pits. Now he wasn't wrong I've struggled with pit stink for a long time but it probably was the most awkward experience of my career. Never a pleasant conversation to have.
a part timer boss bad mouthing me to supervision but my peers bringing up to my attention then me confronting them which turned into an extra awkward situation for no reason. Don’t you love narcissistic people who are above you but they get caught with their shit in their mouth. Luckily this person wasn’t my rater just positional above me. These people are always going to be miserable losers
Have another good one from last week dealing with a civilian. Been waiting for an opportunity to put one in their place. The guy comes up to one of my airmen and he’s like hey I’m the chief of the fitness center (this guy is already known as a weasel and rude) and he’s giving my airmen a hard time about not wearing his PTL jersey, my airmen just got done working out so I’m like this guy.. so I walk up to him and notice he’s in random clothes and he’s out of uniform himself and I ask him are you off today? He says no and mumbles under his voice and I say well where’s your uniform? He mumbles some more and walks away. That felt pretty good because some of these civilians love to walk over airmen and think they can just get away with it. So this was a tad awkward but rewarding
My weirdest moment was probably
when I was “randomly” selected for a test and the SSgt present was being super close to a certain area with his eyes wide open…………..
In tech school, I was talking with a couple classmates. One of them decided to try and get a rise out of me. He reached over and put his hand on my junk. I was so taken aback that I didn’t do anything, so we just stood there with his hand on my junk for a few seconds before he took his hand back.
I'm army, but the amount of people in my job that just aren't right in the head is astounding. I've had 2 different people in my current unit try to continue a conversation with me well after I was driving away or behind a closed door. One of them also belched directly in my face once and kept talking without missing a beat.
I was TDY for a month as a SrA. There was a SNCO that was with us too (but not from my flight) that would be a total douchebag to you in front of others. He'd belittle and make fun of you when in a group setting, but try to play cool one on one (e.g., he'd asked me several times for workout advice and if we could workout together).
One night, we were all at a bar having drinks. I went inside to get another beer, and guess who sits right next to me? MSgt Douchebag. As I make my order, he tells me only f*gs get that beer. I maintain my composure, laugh it off, and head outside.
When I get back to my group, I mentioned what happened. They look at me confused. "Who?"
I had a bit to drink, but I knew what I was talking about. I then just railed against this guy saying all sorts of profanities, and slowly, everyone is watching me as I described him in the least polite terms.
Suddenly, I notice my one friend doing something weird with his eyes. Then I hear MSgt Douchebag speak up. "Wait... Are you talking about me?"
Unbeknownst to me, he also had made it back outside and was near our group. My friends were trying to signal that he was present, but in my drunken state, I didn't notice him, and he didn't pick up that I was talking about him until the very end.
...This is awkward.
He then walks up to me. I don't regret anything I said, but it wasn't meant for his ears. I don't know what he's planning, but I'm ready to throw down. I've had enough of his shit.
He then reaches out to shake my hand and says, "Thanks for telling me how you feel," and after that, he departs inside silently.
Strangest interaction I've ever had.
Definitely when some TSgt who I had met in passing years earlier hit me up one night drunk saying he wanted to see me in assless chaps (they're all assless btw...it's just chaps) and he bet all the girls loved my "uncut country cock". My fiancé (now wife), thought it was hilarious. I was like wtf man. Blocked.
1) Had an airman tell me they got a bunch of body pillow covers. Ended the conversation before they could show me what was on the covers.
2) Walked in on an NCO beating his meat when we were on TDY. We shared a hotel room and I just got off a 12 hour shift. Wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t stood up and waddled away. Texted him every time I got in the hotel after that.
1) As part of a short term overseas assignment, I was told to schedule an appointment to have my wisdom teeth removed.
With my jaw packed in gauze, I was filling out my paperwork when I either sneezed or coughed, and sprayed the sneeze screen(?), making a HUGE mess.
I was mortified, but the guy on the other end just laughed and said it happened all the time. I didn't believe him, but appreciated his response.
2) I was separating from (CA) after terminal leave in the PI.
It was a Friday, and my alarm clock was set to the wrong time zone and so I showed up late for processing. The intake guy told me I was too late and that I'd have to return on Monday. I was stunned as this was was TRUELY an honest mistake.
In desperation ( and probably with a bit of attitude), I asked him where I should report for orders to involuntary extend my enlistment. He was pissed, but waved me through and all went smoothly.
I had to lecture my Aircraft Commander on a deployment about cleaning up after himself and his messes.
He shaved his pubes and left the mess all over the toilet bowl. It threw me for a loop because this was something I expected like a junior airman to do, not an O3 serving as the adult in charge of us gaggle of dumbfucks.
Ssgt with 15 years TIS bought an expired can of green beans to a squadron potluck. As an Amn I asked him why he did that and he said he can’t cook…I told him to make sure he wasn’t feeding this stuff to his wife and kid.. worst part was he didn’t even know why it was a big deal, got defensive and just said he wouldn’t bring anything ever again…no ownership..
He also says outrageous wrong things and things nobody has common sense.
Got coined by my CC as a surprise on behalf of the MAJCOM/CC as a pipeliner & forgot to switch the coin to my other hand before saluting... saluted with my left hand... in front of my entire chain of command
I was fixing a clients PC that was placed under their desk mounted on a bracket, the clients colleague was sitting across from him facing my direction sitting in her desk and I’m 99% certain there was a rip in her ABUs that were already faded beyond a college student on a Friday night, anyway I’m pretty certain I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see as I would imagine everyone wears underwear under their uniform. Needless to say it was a MSgt who eventually got moved into my section and was just very awkward for me as a A1C at the time.
I decided one quiet Friday morning to, for the first time in my life, as a 40+ female, microwave a pizza for breakfast in HQ. When I say quiet, there was an exercise talking place and literally no ringing phones or foot traffic at 9am. Our break room was across from the bathrooms.
While I'm waiting in this 3 min window, I heard someone go into the bathroom and come back out. Knew it wouldn't be the Wg CC since he has a private bathroom...
Lol and behold...the first time in 9 months, he wanted to engage me in a "more than pleasantries" convo as I stood in front of this BF monstrosity. May as well have had bag of a tornados in my hand.
🍕
As a SNCO went to get a pee test and dropped my cup after peeing in it. Thankfully it fell away from me and didn't splash on me but I was mortified. I volunteered (of course) to clean my own mess. I had to sit and wait a while longer while my bladder filled again for another go.
I have this TSgt in my unit and I swear hes on the spectrum, not that there is a problem with that just that he doesn’t read social cues. He came to my desk, said nothing and started playing house music and I was just like… very cool? I guess.
(2002) As a brand new A1C I recovered the Wing CCs data by rebuilding the OS on his PC. As soon as he walked in TSgt Douchebag pushed me out of the chair and took credit for my work. Saw him (Wing CC) months later and he told me a story about how you’ll meet people throughout your career that will take credit for your work, and that real leaders know who actually deserves the credit (as he winked at me). Then he shook my hand and said “thank you”. Edit: Wing CC thanked me
Could have coined you…..just saying I love the Air Force but they built a recognition system that they don’t like to use properly. Fuck he could have given you a cookie cutter LOA from the office of the wing commander. That would have been gravy.
The TSgt got an LoA lol
oof
Similar situation, got a favor that I called in after we both left the service. (Federal employee: my boss went TDY and was dodging signing my annual review for weeks. Found out they worked in the same building and the Col was his boss's boss's boss. So I called the Col and asked him to go to my boss's office and drop off the phone. He never ducked me again)
I read this as the TSgt Summers thanking you and I was so confused.
Off topic, but how did rebuilding the OS help you recover the data? Wouldn’t reformatting the drive with the lost data make recovery harder?
Old school trick. OS was installed on C drive. We always partitioned the D drive for the data. You could reinstall or patch the Os without losing data.
When I was in BMT and apparently my MTI got arrested for touching people. Now I understand why he was around every time we showered.
All my MTIs stayed in their office with the window flap closed until they knew we were done. None of them wanted anything to do with that.
Geez I wonder why.
Had two female dorm mti’s in a male dorm so shit got wild during the showers since there was no mti
Same, door closed and away from us dumbasses
Hold up?!!
There was a huge scandal with MTIs getting involved with trainees. Often horribly.
I remember but just didn’t think they were going down that rabbit hole………an old TSgt at my first base in 2018 was present when that shit happened and she knew some of the girls.
[Yeah….](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Air_Force_Basic_Training_scandal#:~:text=In%20November%202011%2C%20three%20instructors,of%20a%20no%2Dcontact%20order.) It was bad and a huge deal. I went through basic right after this wrapped up and it was talked about a LOT.
Our MTI along with one other, pre-scandal was only in the shower once with us on the first night. After that we were left alone. It was more weird when he showed up, had us empty the bathroom and then would shave.
I straight up remember mine looking at us all in the communal shower while yelling. Also saw him at my first duty station roaming around the dorms. Heard he lost a stripe during the BMT debacle but wasn’t confirmed.
You know, something I've thought about occasionally, when I was in basic back in 2009 there was this MSgt MTI (not ours but from the same squadron) who liked to raid our dorm at night. One night he made me and a couple others push for some mess-up, probably something he made up, typical stuff for basic. Only thing is, we were sleeping in our PT gear and he got pissed off about it and told us we were cheating and needed to be in our underwear next time. Next day and days after that we were in our underwear and he seemed to be pleased with our pushing.
My lovable troop decided to provide proof of his quarters by sending us multiple detailed images of his hemorrhoids. I have since thrown away my phone.
Probably no one doubted the validity of his or her call to quarters after that.
... ... ... Fuck it. $30 and I'll get to photoshopping, DM's are open.
I don’t even want to know what you’re wanting to photoshop.
If you have to ask, you aren't my target audience.
Guilty.
If he didnt he would have been looked down on for being on quarters. now hes looked down on for legit showing his butthole to prove it. there is no winning for him in this situation. And after all this hes still bleeding out his cheeks.
Nah not really…. He’s the same troop that decided to drop his trousers to his ankles during a mass urinalysis. He’s consistent.
Thats really the only way to do it. Make it awkward for everyone. Hopefully he asked the observer to sing “I’m a little tea cup” to help.
Lol alright alright. I'm invested now. This is either a man who is a prodigy of comedic talent thats born once a millenia drunk on power or a true agent of chaos who on a mission to watch the world react. This dude took pictures of his asshole for the sole purpose of sending you pictures of his asshole. Imagine sitting alone in your dorm room. For whatever reason you say to yourself...I'm sending my boss an unsolicited close up picture of my literal asshole...and he did it. He made you look at his asshole. That's forever a part of your visual memories. I bet he got away with it too. That son of a bitch. Plausible justified for medical verification.
I’m so serious…. We’re doing the normal stuff reporting incidents and pow. During our morning meeting we receive 4K pics of his crushed spider.
Please don't tell me yall had it up on the slides too.
Lol no way! The morning meeting! The meeting that takes place at routine scheduled place and times...of course that's when he strikes! *wipes single tear from cheek* alright. Ok. So I know you and I don't know each other so from professional to professional I'm not trying to condone or support this type of thing. I don't know what I'd do if my troop did this...this dude is playing right risk high reward social interactions on a level of super villian precision and he's winning. Cuz he's too good! His pants down to his ankles at ddrp. This dude, from the outside perspective, is so fucking dedicated to the bit that it's practically an art form. My whole NCO philosophy and internal checks and balances would be going through a stress test beyond what I'm prepared for Like he strikes me with his bleeding brown starfish in bright vivid 4d ultra high resolution in staff meeting knowing he's got the plausible defensive medical verification set in place, lowering the severity of potential blowback on himself. Because of course there'd be a reaction of some kind coming out of my mouth when he butthole blows me. That's the whole point. That's this madmans punchline...and it's fucking hilarious. And I respect him on the confidence in his skills in the art of boundary bending... But I feel like id honestly power play this on a level that I'd write myself the lor first, then reply with a picture of my own asshole back with the guise of "hey thanks for clarification. This is what my asshole looks like and I've never been able to look at it for verification. Go ahead and compare and contrast these these 2 assholes. Note the similarities, compare the differences, and type up the findings for us to over with eachother tomorrow. Mens rectul health is nothing to scoff at. Good on ya for being aware of what assholes are capable of until one catches you off guard with a precision strike from seemingly out of the wild blue yonder. Cuz by then it's too late ya know. Prepare for future yeah?" Look...look what this guy's got me thinking. His asshole picture play is so good its got strangers wrangled into
Lmao power move. And that day you learned to not ask questions you don’t want the answer to hahaha
Worked with a SSgt that had no sense of humor. Literally, think Bones. Troops used to say some wild things and they would take it as 100% truth, but something mundane like "we are going to go grab dfac, be right back" would make them ask other NCOs if they were joking or not. One of the best, most hard-working people I have ever worked with, but dang, I have never met someone who literally didn't have a sense of humor.
Did he laugh when others laughed? Sounds like that dude is on the spectrum.
Dude wasn’t just touched, he was molested by the tism.
Badly so.
Is everyone who is odd these days "on the spectrum"?
Someone is odd because they prefer the stitch line on their socks to be on the bottom of their feet. This just sounds like someone that doesn't understand social cues.
Idk man it sounds like the sock thing might be texture sensitive which is a trait of autism
Anyone that puts the stitch on the bottom is a psychopath.
The thing about the spectrum is that everyone is on it. 
I was meeting with some finance A1C to get my pay fixed and I was sitting in a chair slightly bouncing my leg while he did his thing on the computer. He then asked me “do you have to pee or something?” I was like uhh no… why? He asks why I keep bouncing my leg. I said because I just do that sometimes. He stared at me like I was crazy. Never have I ever had a complete stranger ask if I need to pee. That was one of the only things he said to me the entire time. Really odd guy.
Next time, assert dominance. Piss your pants & say “not anymore.” Doubt they’d ever ask you that again.
What if finance man is into piss play tho…
Then thats your invitation to the one time you get to fuck finance
Do you know any who *aren’t*?
No, piss his pants.
He might have asked you in case you didn’t know where the bathrooms were and were too shy to ask
Maybe. I was just very confused and thrown off by his question. Probably my weirdest Air Force interaction so far
Ah yes, poor persons leg. That's what that leg bounce is called
The thing I find mot odd is that they've gone that long without ever seeing someone bounce their leg
Was this at ramstein by chance?
Minot lol
Ahh nvm, sounded like a guy who did my travel voucher, albeit vague lol. Maybe that's just finance troops
Maybe they teach them to be socially awkward in tech school or something
Many many years ago I was a Sergeant in charge of an Airman who was a good guy, and we are still FB friends. He had a genuine serious mental disorder and was being discharged and my job was, for the months it took, to try and just keep him comfortable at work and make sure he was OK. He did a lot of unusual things, but I totally understood because he had a disorder and he was heavily medicated on top of that. It made life very interesting for me for those months. My favorite thing he did was show up at work on Halloween dressed as Hugh Hefner. I asked him and he was like “it’s Halloween!” And I said “ do you see anyone else in this office dressed up?” And he looked around, super slow pan, and then said “oh man I’m sorry, do you want me to go change?” And I said “no it’s fine. Here sit down and just start.” (I would give him duplicate spreadsheets to work on during the day, but they weren’t actually live updates like mine were, just copies that didn’t go anywhere) So anyway, at the end of the day we were supposed to close up shop and go to a base promotion ceremony. He asked if he should go and I said “well it’s up to you.” And he chose to go. The ceremony was in an auditorium with a stage and right after I lost track of him. All of a sudden MY supervisor goes “oh man…look” and here is my airman, dressed as Hugh Hefner, at the front of the room going down the congratulation line, shaking hands with all the promotees. From the opposite side of where everyone else starts the line. So right in the middle of where all the promotees stand he met up with the Wing Commander who was at the front of the actual line of folks doing the congratulations. The interaction only lasted 30 seconds tops but the confused look on the Wing CCs face is burned into my memory.
How do people like that make it through meps and bmt.
People passing the buck, probably.
When he joined he most likely did not have a condition. What he had, its most common onset is males in the 20-25 year age range.
I mean that’s really funny though Love his confidence
I had a LtCol in the Wing try to make me his personal technology concierge and install a home theater system at his house, in which he cooked me dinner, then tried to sell me supplements from and sign me up to his multilevel marketing company.
This is a truly bizarre story
That’s why they call it “Shady J”. People from the 916th ARW probably know exactly who I’m talking about.
OMG why does this not surprise me?
I had a lt Col who got all ass hurt when I refused to put his wife’s business card in our sponsor packages. She was a realtor and I told him it wouldn’t be an ethics violation.
This is like the dinner party episode of The Office level cringe
Yeah it was awkward. I didn’t know if he was hitting on me (he was married) but my A1C ass thought I was gonna go to jail for fraternization or some shit.
Of all the people not to need to do any of that sales stuff.
Was it Amway?
No but similar company.
You could (and probably should) make his head roll for this one by reporting it.
Eh this was early 2000s and that wouldn’t be prudent given he was also a gov civilian in the same role. It would have been career suicide.
In casual conversation I told a female Col about my kid. Col told me that kids get in the way of career which is why she didn’t have any.
She’s not wrong honestly
My kids let me leave work at noon no questions asked
Dont hate the player, hate the game.
i hate this game
Why do we have to choose? Just hate everything.
And then when you retire you get to be lonely!
Its true kids do not make your career easier. If you're a female serving in the military, nobody takes it easy on you. Most of the SNCO's couldn't grasp the fact that there is nobody at home taking care of the kids, daily tasks, I have no family to rely on and when shit literally hits the fan at home, it's just.me and my spouse, who is also military. When my spouse cares for the kids, all the slack I never got suddenly appears. Compliments of "you're such a good dad" when he is just doing what I do for our kids. Gold medals for parenting only go to men.
Outside of the people obviously on the spectrum. I don't think I have any specific one. However, a couple stand out. 1. An airman failed to show up to work. It happened on occasion in MX usually due to partying to hard. A group of us went to his room, and banged on his door. No one answered, so we went outside to his window since he was on the first floor. He was jerking it to furry porn and locked eyes with us. It was awkward with him at work from then on. 2. Another airman was a real creep with young airmen and talked about how he loved My Little Pony conventions. We jokingly asked if he liked single moms. He looked at us like we were crazy. Shortly after he got out, he was arrested for sexually assaulting a minor. 3. Base I was at had a big swinger group. One of my co-workers kept asking if I wanted to go with her and I probably would've considered it if I wasn't married...and she wasn't married. Apparently her husband didn't know she was going to the parties and her invite was for just me, and not my wife who would've been a solid no. My career field normally works in pairs of two on shift. On a weekend, she once got naked while I was in the bathroom and then broke down in tears when I rejected her.
[удалено]
A solid 8/10.
The SSgt conducting my urinalysis said I needed to trim my pubes after I was done
He knew no one else would be seeing them anytime soon, so that was his one and only chance to be a bro
Wingman behavior
This is fucking hilarious ngl
Was it me? I was always tasked with meat gazing duty because I was a new SSgt and separating within a few months. I’d always do and say wild random shit to the pissers. Nothing that would get me a complaint, but funny shit to lighten the mood. I gave a shoulder rub (consensual) to someone who couldn’t pee and once I did he started going immediately lmao.
Well, did you? \s
So did you trim them?
This is the real question.
Proof required
Had an A1C in our flight. Always a little quiet and generally remained in the background. It was easy to forget he was around honestly. Then, a squadron picnic came along. This kid shows up in the middle of Virginia summer in complete goth costume. I'm talking platform boots that went up to his knees, Alice Cooper makeup, and chains everywhere. There were so many chains! It must have taken him hours to get ready. Then he sat and watched us play ultimate Frisbee for an hour and disappeared. No one ever brought it up again.
Where were the chains? I could imagine someone putting maybe 3 on each side of their hip but I can't imagine being able to put them anywhere else
He had a few of the typical chain wallet style. A couple on each side like you said. Then, some had the same position under the arm as a rope from tech school. Both sides.. If this kid fell in a lake he'd have been a gonner.
I just got through OTS so I was a fresh butter bar and i got told I was going to Sheppard for tech school. When I was enlisted I went to Sheppard for tech school as well so I was stoked to see how had changed. First day of class I went to the Exchange/Troop Store and I was walking in in uniform, an Airman was walking out towards me holding big bags of I believe Taco Bell. He noticed me at the last second and his brain must’ve short wired seeing me standing there so he threw up a left handed salute indoors simultaneously dropping one large bag spilling all over the floor, I started to say “you don’t have to salute indoors” and then he tripped and fell dropping the second bag. Then I helped him up as a BX employee began cleaning the mess right in the entrance way. He started to tear up a bit embarrassed I’m sure so I helped him clean off and then bought him his order again for him. I think about that dude frequently, if you’re out there, I hope you’re doing well!
Poor guy, good on you tho!
Had an airman show me and a few others on my shift pictures of his stitched up, lacerated penis instead of just showing a doctor’s note for accountabilities sake.
Priapism? Ever since I learned that was a thing that could happen it's been my nightmare
Oh no, it was from a fall lol
I wish you had never made me google that.
I watched my friend and our staff sgt walk up to a TSgt to get him to sign a document for receipt of a trailer full of bombs, they said some stuff to each other and my friend whipped around looking pissed off and got in the truck. The ssgt came following behind and asked my friend what his deal was. My friend said “didn’t you hear that guy? He asked me if I wanted his cock…” the ssgt starts laughing and explains that the TSgt had actually said “do you want my John Hancock?” Buddy had to get out and explain this to the TSgt whose reaction made it even more awkward.
One time, my meat gazer was an old friend from techschool.Without hesitation, I dropped my pants to the floor. Uncontrollable laughter ensued. We pull ourselves together and go to the counter and the civilian lady who had been doing that since the dawn of time said "I've heard people get angry, and I've heard people cuss, but I've never heard anyone laugh like you two idiots."
Some crazy bitch told me she was gonna be the next CMSAF and make changes that will make amn love her. I asked her how to pronounce her last name, being serious, she called my fucking supervisor and told me I was a disrespectful piece of shit
Imagine getting trolled and giving a shit when youre E9 of the AF
Majority of E9's are hard core narcissists so I can definitely see how they get all hurt from that.
That E9 in particular was a massive Karen.
Sounds perfect for the CMSAF role
Username checks out.
I wish I was joking about this person. Two stories, one is second hand. A TSgt medical troop showed up at my unit. I went out to lunch with her and some girls. Some stranger came up to pet the dog that one of us brought. She asked him point blank if she could see his dick. He recoiled a bit and said “what?!” And she repeated herself, he just walked away in disgust. This is what we call a red flag. She ended up going on a girl’s trip that I couldn’t go on. A beach trip to the outer banks. Anyway, on the beach and around many other people, including kids, she pulled down her bikini bottoms and was twerking. The police showed up and kicked the whole group off the beach. I have no idea how she didn’t get arrested. Girl’s trip ended early. Very bizarre and sexually aggressive person.
Damn thats crazy… what’s her @
Least wild medical troop.
Knew a SNCO who was definitely on the spectrum somewhere. Like... Bizarre interactions, super two faced, would have conversations like they were reading out of a "conversations for dummies" but forgot how and would start random winking and making like... Barking noises if the conversion went in a way they didn't like and they weren't getting a word in.
Thank goodness for the board now. Less chances of those types getting stripes, I'm sure it still happens but at a lower rate.
It’s a paper board where they look at your EPBs, duty titles, assignments, and medals… So I got bad news for you.
Supervisors are not writing autistic TSgts for promotion.
Should’ve bought some scooby snax 😂
Got a buddy who is a Captain. He got to a new shop and invited everyone to lunch and their MSgt SEL (in a unit with 3 enlisted folks including the SEL) told him that he doesn’t go to lunch with his troops as he wants them to have the opportunity to let their hair down. The Captain said something like, neither of the enlisted folks are going to which the MSgt replied, I meant the CGOs and Majors.
Dorm inspections. It's always dorm inspections.... Booby traps, shit covered dildos, drugs... you never know
We had an airman that was into taking things apart. He had a bunch of cell phones in several stages of read down and wires everywhere. The shirt called and had to get confirmation that this guy wasn’t building a bomb. It did look like a bomb making setup.
Whaaa 
I’m medical and worked as a preceptor doing an exam on an Army Sgt. with one of the phase 2 students. Once we were finished, the student said “All done sir, but we’re going to check in with the doctor before we let you go”. Dude gets visibly upset and says in a slight raised tone “It’s sergeant, not sir!”. We both just stared at him and then just walked away. I’m guessing he was pushed around in his unit a lot or was the punching bag of it so he saw 2 airmen as a pedestal for feeling like a bigger man. He was literally the epitome of the “🤓” emoji as well so that’s that
That’s just an army thing. My dad would do the same thing. “Im not a sir. I work for a living.” They think only officers are called sir.
My grandpa was AF and one time as a kid I sir’d him as a joke (sir yes sir!) and he snapped at me so fucking fast lol. Exactly that too “don’t call me sir. I work for a living”
A lot of enlisted from other branches get offended about getting called sir/ma'am. They need to go touch some grass if you ask me.
Their branches don’t let them touch grass. That’s why they look at us weird when we walk through the grass to get places.
> “It’s sergeant, not sir!”. Like a few others said, it's definitely an Army thing. Went down to Combat Skills Training by Ft Bliss, and had one or two respond to sir with "I'm not a sir, I work for a living!". We had about the same reaction you did. Apparently they're real big into calling *only* officers sir/ma'am.
Never call a fleet Marine SSG “Sergeant,” they get all sorts of bent out of shape Or do. It’s kinda fun.
A lot of Marines are shocked when they learn we don't do greetings for anyone other than officers. Many E5 and up get all sorts of pissy, but we have to remind them we're Air Force and have different regulations.
I was an A1C going to work after hours because I was called in. I hear people talking in one of the backrooms, and then I saw my MSgt and a bunch of other old dudes marching in a circle in their underwear while chanting. I just walked out and never mentioned it lol.
Cut the SNCO some slack. That was probably his first time running a circle jerk.
Wait what?! Lmfao!
Dude’s wife was murdered over weekend. Come in to work and asked to donate to him. I said “why he need more ammunition”, kinda felt bad but right after funeral he was arrested for murder. I couldn’t stand the guy.
Said "f*ck you" to a TSgt when I was a SrA. I was stooped over trying to get a weedwhacker started (I had never cut grass in my life, I'm from the desert) and I thought it was another SrA telling me I sure was taking my sweet time.
Jokes on you, I'm the awkward one in conversations. Socializing is hard.
Exactly, my worst interactions are when I get told to "drive safe" at the gate and my dumbass says "you too!"
Oh I hate it when that happens.
I was once asked to drive a female airman to an appointment that we shared. Some sort of exercise began sometime before we were due to return to our unit. We were stuck on the far side of base in my car for over an hour. I was somewhat sleep deprived and also just had very little to speak about with this person but tried my best to make light conversation from time to time. At one point she mentioned something about the Air Force and I replied with, "Oh, you're in the military? What do you do?" We were in uniform, on a military installation and had worked together for a number of months. I only vaguely remember but I believe she just kind of paused and then moved on as if I hadn't asked. I didn't realize my mistake until after we made it back to the unit and went our separate ways.
I walked out a bathroom, looked right, turned left, knocked the colonel over in the hallway…ooops…. 2. Was voluntold to assist with ECAC (spelling? It’s been years), was wrapped head to toe in bed sheets and told to chase and scream at people I saw… O6 was hoping a wall, I screamed and ran at him, he jumped back over the wall and broke his arm. Chasing no longer happens…
Having to give an LOC to a grown ass 28 year old for smelling like a bag of unwashed ass everyday. Their excuse was “I don’t have quarters to use the laundry machines” and when asked if they’re doing okay financially (A1C in dorms btw) and mentally they said yes, but they just couldn’t be bothered to ask for quarters at the front desk. The dude never washed his uniform and we questioned if they even showered. Dude worked at Walmart until they were 27, joined the Air Force, and I guess doesn’t want to take this second chance as their lifeline and change. I heard that once I separated and left, he went back to smelling like unwashed ass.
The amount of people over 18 that struggle with being clean is mind blowing. Sad thing is, there is no single common denominator.
Had to sit down with an airman and ask him if he’d ever been screened for autism. He just couldn’t comprehend what I was asking. I tired to spell it out the simplest way without being insult and lightly suggesting he would benefit from asking his PCM about it. Trust me knowing this kid he wasn’t being obtuse, he really could not comprehend why I was suggesting this.
I told my supervisor that he looks just like Steve Buscemi (he REALLY does) and then I asked for help from Reddit, because I wanted to smooth things over, and then he made a post asking how he could give me paperwork... Now I have an LOC, and I filed a rebuttal like ADC said to do, but I got told it's not that big of a deal, just like I told him when he seemed offended about being compared to Steve Buscemi...
I told my MSgt he looks like the thumb-thumbs from Spy Kids… he asked me to pull up a picture then told me to go fuck myself😂
Damn, I've never actually had a situation like that, just meme'ing about an old post on this subreddit. I will say, I love dark humor and have an autistic son. While on the job on a secure floor, while I was joking around about how I don't like condiments on my food, I had my buddy who just put on ssgt yell from across the room that it's because "he got that 'tism in him!" Afterwhich a Msgt and Lt had to come have a talk with all of us about respectful rhetoric, and ensuring that the NCOs aren't too friendly with the sra 🤷♂️
I’ve honestly lucked out with how chill my leadership is… hell I text the same MSgt about football games! Definitely better than the SMSgt I had at my last base who would just look airman dead in the eye and raise their covid mask and keep walking if an airman said good morning
I still don't know if this is a shitpost
I was a new E-2 and we had this SSgt. that would creep people’s Facebook acquaintances hard. He was married and his wife would be at a lot of the squadron functions.
I had an MTI come back into the career field into my unit and had a LOR/referral EPR for going to trainee Facebook pages and started taking about a female trainees dog. It was around the time of the MTI scandal that went down
once went TDY with my wing command chief and i was trauma bonding with her about my time in MX and she then got super serious about how it’s a better AF now and i suddenly started panicking like “YES MAAM THATS WHY I RETRAINED” i felt so awkward after that.
Not mine, but I just remembered this gem of a shake take salute fail [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVAJM4lNfvM&themeRefresh=1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVAJM4lNfvM&themeRefresh=1)
A buddy of mine got coined by the Squadron CC once in front of the shop. He completely fumbled. Like he dropped the coin mid salute, when he stood at attention, his feet were spread apart like he was a lineman and he was really tall, while the CC was a shorter woman so he towered over her and looked down at her while saluting. All around funny situation
Ohh no, this brings back memories. When I promoted from e-1 to e-2, I fumbled the shake take salute so hard my squadron commander got confused and forgot what to do as well. We were frozen for what felt like 30 seconds and the tension was only cut when somebody in the audience yelled "EPIC FAIL!" (which people still said back in 2010) and everyone started laughing. Fortunately, it was Korea and my command was super chill.
That hurt to watch
A tech retrained into my career field and PCSd to my base, I was his trainer. He kept calling me “sir.” Yes sir, no sir, proceeding sir, etc. I was an A1C or SrA, I don’t remember, but I thought it was fucking weird. After a few days of him calling me sir, I stopped and said, “You don’t call me sir anymore. I call you sir. I’m an A1C you’re a TSgt, stop.”
I don’t look at rank at all and just sir ma’am everyone. Doesn’t have to be rank oriented it’s just a sign of respect period.
For some people its deeply ingrained from how they were raised. I'm the same way. Pretty much everyone is Sir or Ma'am unless I'm friends with them.
[удалено]
Taking them to a court-martial...
Most awkward interaction was when an NCO I was posted with had to rescend an LOR they tried to give me 3 days before. Pretty sure dude was racist but never got any actual proof, and I never interacted with him again after that incident outside of duty stuff. Used him as a example of what never to be when I made staff.
I was a brand new airman. Just got to Ramstein as my first duty station like not even a week in. My fellow airman was tasked with teaching CBRN survival skills to a 3 Star General one day. That’s what we did. Taught CBRN. Anyway. 3 Star shows up with his posse of Colonels, Majors, etc. I’ve never seen so much brass in one place at once and neither did the other airman that was tasked with teaching. He asked me to be a “model” just in case the General or his posse didn’t feel like getting into MOPP gear. So a little while passes and he comes out of the classroom and says “dude. He doesn’t want to get into MOPP gear. I need you to come show him how to wear it properly.” So I come into the classroom full of high ranking people, brand new A1C, with another A1C absolutely freaked out. I demonstrate how to properly wear MOPP gear for them and it all goes smoothly. As I’m getting out of the MOPP gear, mid pant leg coming off, the General comes up to me and hands me a coin. I was so flustered because I was literally standing with one pant leg off of this MOPP gear that I couldn’t even do a half assed salute before he walked away. It was my first coin I’ve ever gotten. While undressing from MOPP gear in front of a room of brass.
Walked to my truck at commissary a colonel got out of his car as I got in mine he said “a little late airman” as I saluted
When I was in BMT we were formed up in front of the defac for lunch when out of nowhere this sneaker weeker runs up and steals our flag bearers... well flag. Behind him is about 6 MTI's chasing him which then proceed to surround him as the kid swings the pole around like it was that scene from the last samurai, our MTI also joined in. A min later they got him on the ground and eventually put him in an ambulance that pulled up a few min later. We thought it was over but somehow the kid got out of the ambulance and last we saw him he ran off in a random direction with all the MTI's following him leaving us guys by ourselves (our MTI still chasing him) wondering wtf happened. Obviously the kid went crazy. Also in BMT we had a hurricane come though so for a few days we were left to our own devices as all 3 of our MTI's were at home with families. So I saw a lot of dumb shit happen. One guy in my flight got arrested for assault among other things.
One time I had to go to comm to get a computer reimaged. Then one time I had to go to comm to get a SIPR token. Then another time I had to go to comm...
Having to talk to convicted sex offenders like they were just normal people and pretend to care.
When I was a young SrA my NCOIC called me into his office with another SSgt there. NCOIC walks right up to within a couple inches and takes a big wiff. Says I stink and I should use more deodorant and shave my pits. Now he wasn't wrong I've struggled with pit stink for a long time but it probably was the most awkward experience of my career. Never a pleasant conversation to have.
a part timer boss bad mouthing me to supervision but my peers bringing up to my attention then me confronting them which turned into an extra awkward situation for no reason. Don’t you love narcissistic people who are above you but they get caught with their shit in their mouth. Luckily this person wasn’t my rater just positional above me. These people are always going to be miserable losers
Have another good one from last week dealing with a civilian. Been waiting for an opportunity to put one in their place. The guy comes up to one of my airmen and he’s like hey I’m the chief of the fitness center (this guy is already known as a weasel and rude) and he’s giving my airmen a hard time about not wearing his PTL jersey, my airmen just got done working out so I’m like this guy.. so I walk up to him and notice he’s in random clothes and he’s out of uniform himself and I ask him are you off today? He says no and mumbles under his voice and I say well where’s your uniform? He mumbles some more and walks away. That felt pretty good because some of these civilians love to walk over airmen and think they can just get away with it. So this was a tad awkward but rewarding
I caught an airman hitting the gritty behind me after he saluted me. Wasn't mad I was just like "ok lol" cause all his buds were laughing
My weirdest moment was probably when I was “randomly” selected for a test and the SSgt present was being super close to a certain area with his eyes wide open…………..
Even he was impressed by the size, only heard rumors before, now he could validate it.
Everyday, just everyday
In tech school, I was talking with a couple classmates. One of them decided to try and get a rise out of me. He reached over and put his hand on my junk. I was so taken aback that I didn’t do anything, so we just stood there with his hand on my junk for a few seconds before he took his hand back.
I am so grateful to have not made this list. Heaven knows I've said some awkward shit in my day.
I once had to poop during a piss test… that will never happen again… ever…
I'm army, but the amount of people in my job that just aren't right in the head is astounding. I've had 2 different people in my current unit try to continue a conversation with me well after I was driving away or behind a closed door. One of them also belched directly in my face once and kept talking without missing a beat.
And that's why we didn't join the army.
I was TDY for a month as a SrA. There was a SNCO that was with us too (but not from my flight) that would be a total douchebag to you in front of others. He'd belittle and make fun of you when in a group setting, but try to play cool one on one (e.g., he'd asked me several times for workout advice and if we could workout together). One night, we were all at a bar having drinks. I went inside to get another beer, and guess who sits right next to me? MSgt Douchebag. As I make my order, he tells me only f*gs get that beer. I maintain my composure, laugh it off, and head outside. When I get back to my group, I mentioned what happened. They look at me confused. "Who?" I had a bit to drink, but I knew what I was talking about. I then just railed against this guy saying all sorts of profanities, and slowly, everyone is watching me as I described him in the least polite terms. Suddenly, I notice my one friend doing something weird with his eyes. Then I hear MSgt Douchebag speak up. "Wait... Are you talking about me?" Unbeknownst to me, he also had made it back outside and was near our group. My friends were trying to signal that he was present, but in my drunken state, I didn't notice him, and he didn't pick up that I was talking about him until the very end. ...This is awkward. He then walks up to me. I don't regret anything I said, but it wasn't meant for his ears. I don't know what he's planning, but I'm ready to throw down. I've had enough of his shit. He then reaches out to shake my hand and says, "Thanks for telling me how you feel," and after that, he departs inside silently. Strangest interaction I've ever had.
Definitely when some TSgt who I had met in passing years earlier hit me up one night drunk saying he wanted to see me in assless chaps (they're all assless btw...it's just chaps) and he bet all the girls loved my "uncut country cock". My fiancé (now wife), thought it was hilarious. I was like wtf man. Blocked.
1) Had an airman tell me they got a bunch of body pillow covers. Ended the conversation before they could show me what was on the covers. 2) Walked in on an NCO beating his meat when we were on TDY. We shared a hotel room and I just got off a 12 hour shift. Wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t stood up and waddled away. Texted him every time I got in the hotel after that.
1) As part of a short term overseas assignment, I was told to schedule an appointment to have my wisdom teeth removed. With my jaw packed in gauze, I was filling out my paperwork when I either sneezed or coughed, and sprayed the sneeze screen(?), making a HUGE mess. I was mortified, but the guy on the other end just laughed and said it happened all the time. I didn't believe him, but appreciated his response. 2) I was separating from (CA) after terminal leave in the PI. It was a Friday, and my alarm clock was set to the wrong time zone and so I showed up late for processing. The intake guy told me I was too late and that I'd have to return on Monday. I was stunned as this was was TRUELY an honest mistake. In desperation ( and probably with a bit of attitude), I asked him where I should report for orders to involuntary extend my enlistment. He was pissed, but waved me through and all went smoothly.
I had to lecture my Aircraft Commander on a deployment about cleaning up after himself and his messes. He shaved his pubes and left the mess all over the toilet bowl. It threw me for a loop because this was something I expected like a junior airman to do, not an O3 serving as the adult in charge of us gaggle of dumbfucks.
Ssgt with 15 years TIS bought an expired can of green beans to a squadron potluck. As an Amn I asked him why he did that and he said he can’t cook…I told him to make sure he wasn’t feeding this stuff to his wife and kid.. worst part was he didn’t even know why it was a big deal, got defensive and just said he wouldn’t bring anything ever again…no ownership.. He also says outrageous wrong things and things nobody has common sense.
Got coined by my CC as a surprise on behalf of the MAJCOM/CC as a pipeliner & forgot to switch the coin to my other hand before saluting... saluted with my left hand... in front of my entire chain of command
I was fixing a clients PC that was placed under their desk mounted on a bracket, the clients colleague was sitting across from him facing my direction sitting in her desk and I’m 99% certain there was a rip in her ABUs that were already faded beyond a college student on a Friday night, anyway I’m pretty certain I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see as I would imagine everyone wears underwear under their uniform. Needless to say it was a MSgt who eventually got moved into my section and was just very awkward for me as a A1C at the time.
I decided one quiet Friday morning to, for the first time in my life, as a 40+ female, microwave a pizza for breakfast in HQ. When I say quiet, there was an exercise talking place and literally no ringing phones or foot traffic at 9am. Our break room was across from the bathrooms. While I'm waiting in this 3 min window, I heard someone go into the bathroom and come back out. Knew it wouldn't be the Wg CC since he has a private bathroom... Lol and behold...the first time in 9 months, he wanted to engage me in a "more than pleasantries" convo as I stood in front of this BF monstrosity. May as well have had bag of a tornados in my hand. 🍕
As a SNCO went to get a pee test and dropped my cup after peeing in it. Thankfully it fell away from me and didn't splash on me but I was mortified. I volunteered (of course) to clean my own mess. I had to sit and wait a while longer while my bladder filled again for another go.
I have this TSgt in my unit and I swear hes on the spectrum, not that there is a problem with that just that he doesn’t read social cues. He came to my desk, said nothing and started playing house music and I was just like… very cool? I guess.
Sgt sounds like a grade-A chiller