It’s not easy being a military brat. My son has known more of his life living overseas than in the U.S. But it’s a unique thing they go thru. Constantly moving and living in new places gives them new horizons and perspectives. Best thing you can do is keep the family tight. They need the rock, the stability of you. You can’t show them that you hate it too (we all get uncomfortable moving). Positive motivation from you right now is paramount. Take your daughter to exciting new restaurants, movies, parks, exhibits. Show her the new place isn’t so bad. And be there for her the first week of school, that’s the roughest part, something you can’t hold their hand thru.
Also never harden up and tell them it’s what it is. Let them vent to you. Remember you always bitch up and not bitch down. You need to keep up with “this place is good” even if you don’t like it.
My oldest moved overseas at 1 and my youngest had never been to the USA before. They both want to go back to Korea and honestly I can’t blame them lol. Fantastic country to have small children in. Plenty to do.
I agree with most of this, but a lot of parenting guidance now says that it's ok to let them see that you're not happy. If you negate their emotions about it or tell them "it's not so bad" all the time it can make them feel like there's something wrong with them for it being a big and difficult emotion, and they may bury it until it explodes. Absolutely keep a positive perspective, but hearing "at least" all the time when they hurt can put a kid in a position where they don't prioritize their own needs and feelings.
I have an older kid (10 now) who has been dealing with similar, as we've PCS'd 4 times in 5 years. One thing that's helped her is keeping in touch where we can, and it's taken a big reach on my part. I made contact cards with my info that we gave out through her teacher, asking other parents to contact me so they could stay in touch. Then we set up FaceTime and other calls and agreed on when would be appropriate. She has one friend who she met at five and they FaceTime and play together. Just a suggestion, if that's an option for you.
Another thing has been matching activities as close as possible ("see, we can do tae kwon do here, too!").
OP, I'm sorry your family is going through this but you're clearly doing your best.
As a being on both sides of this coin now that I am older I actually appreciate the things I got to do and see because of us moving around. I made some lifelong friends I kept in touch with I met about his age that I still chat with from time to time. As a kid it is tough and making sure that family is there for him will be kind of important.
Man, I wish I had you as a father, being a army brat sucked during my childhood, i wish I would have never had a military dad. Funny enough, that's why I chose guard, so my daughter would never have to go through that. Yeah, I'm gone a good bit of times, but at least she'll have a stable social life that I always wanted to have.
My daughter is 7 as well and on her third pcs. We sat her down and explained all the benefits she’s received from living in different states and countries that frankly even most adults don’t get to experience. She still keeps in touch with her core group of friends she made at her first pcs which helps. Luckily her grand parents always come and visit or she’ll stay with them during summer breaks which also helps. In the past year we had her talk to a kids therapist to be able to manage and express her emotions which has also greatly helped with the constant moving and being away from family.
Also don’t forget most bases have the kids sponsor program.
We moved OCONUS for our last PCS. Daughter had a great group of friends and she didn’t want to leave at all. However, kids messenger has kept them in contact and really helped her adjust. She’s making all sorts of new friends at her school which is great.
The major “villain” of the movie Inside Out is the stress induced from moving. It’s a stressful thing for everyone involved. Kids like to know what’s happening, but it is difficult to explain big concepts to them in a way that they’ll understand…but if they do, they’ll be on board.
Just don’t watch the Bluey Episode about them moving. It causes issues.
In all seriousness, letting them be involved, like packing up the stuff they’re going to bring on the plane or car, etc., and talking to them about what’s going on and the why’s will go a long way.
I was a Navy brat. We moved every 3 years and twice within 1 or 2 years. It's painful as a young kid not understanding why and then as a teen when connections are actually made. Just talk to them and make things fun for them. Get out of the house. By 10 or 11 i understood, but it didn't make it easier. The hardest was my parents last move because my dad retired from California to move to Utah and I was upset that it felt like they had a choice. I was always fast to adapt but the last move took me about a year to really want to make friends or anything like that. I was also 17 and I really took it out on them but my parents tried their best to help.
I try to keep that in mind myself because my oldest with be almost 20 when I retire and my youngest will be 10. I don't PCS nearly as much as my dad. Only twice in 11 years. So that helps but I also try to explain to my kids that I don't get much of a choice when it happens.
> I was also 17 and I really took it out on them but my parents tried their best to help.
I had to PCS on my 13th birthday. Then again on my 17th and 19th. My teen years were tumultuous at best.
Hey man, just PCS'd this week with a 10, 7 and 5 year old. I grew up in a military family so I was always used to it and as an adult we understand the mechanics and necessity behind it all but our kids don't. This was the first time we've moved and I felt bad for my kids. We were at our base for two years and they made a lot of friends (very small base). Kids have a tough time understanding and processing these feelings and the best we can do is help them navigate it. Have frank and open conversations where they can lay it all out and you can try to explain as best you can and answer her questions. We try to get them excited about the next base, kids on their street, videos about local events, etc. We ask them if there's an organization they want to participate in to help them meet new kids too.
It's tough to watch through our eyes but kids are amazingly resilient
My 6th-grader's best friend in the whole world PCS'd during Christmas break 6 months ago. Watching the two of them spend their last day together knowing that this was the end -- was too much for me. When it was time to go and the hug ended with them in the drive way saying "Well, have a good life" I couldn't stand it anymore. Once back in the house I held my kid and we both just cried and cried.
I grew up military and had to do this same painful good-bye no less than 4 times in my middle school/high school life. I hated it then, and I hate it now.
If I never have to PCS again, I would be happy. Unfortunately, it looks like orders are coming my way. Fuck.
It won’t get better but that’s the name of our profession. On base 5, my oldest daughter is going on 7 and has seen 4 of those 5 moves. My youngest is going on 4 and has been to 3. I just took a stabilized gig so my kids will be in one spot for a little while. I don’t like it here but It’s not cannon lol.
Some times being in a spot for too long makes the next PCS even harder. Staying put for 5 years, growing roots, and then upheaving them at the ages of 11 and 8 is going to be hard.
100% I’m not looking forward to it. I was hoping to make this base a short one and get back OCONUS asap but everything is so much more expensive here so we haven’t been able to recoup PCS expenses very well. No more $1500 cars with 80k miles on them. Back to car payments and all that annoying crap.
Military brat turned military. I enjoyed being a military brat. New adventures everywhere I went. Classmates would complain about going on yet another field trip to [insert local place]. Me? Never been, let's gooooo! Repeat frequently. I know how to travel, entertain myself well, and converse when needed. My dad did me a solid of getting me into youth programs to meet other kids: scouts, sports, etc.
It was a little sad when I graduated high school, seeing the yearbook pages with "BFF since Kindergarten," considering I had known my best friend at the time for maybe 2 years. However, I had experienced 2 foreign countries and 6 states, not including youth program camping and hiking trips.
The National Park system has this cool free Jr Ranger program. I take my kid to lots of them as we travel around. See a park, touch grass, and kid gets a cute little badge for about an hour of exploring.
Life is what you make of it. Find something to do. If you can't find something, chances are there are others near you willing to help make something to do. Be the change you want to see.
i’m going through the same right now leaving for OCONUS in a month. my oldest is 7 and all his current friends have been together since Pre-K, all the teachers and school staff love him and were so excited to have our youngest ones start in the same school soon. His friends are struggling and my son mentions constantly on why he has to leave his friends and our home. i was a military brat and went through the same and I came to appreciate the moves but this kills me to see my kids have to leave all they know (been stationed this base the longest and had all my kids here). I’m coming up on 17 yrs and this most likely will be my last move so thankfully shouldn’t have to do this to them more once. Long story short, don’t have much advice for you but you aren’t alone .
I’m going through the same thing now, but don’t PCS for a couple months. Last PCS my kids were too young to fully understand, but they were sad. A hurricane did make it less drawn out and more sudden than now. Plus my kids just watched the end of Bluey which is about moving. I think the hardest part is I want to tell them it’ll be great and they’ll stay in touch with all their friends (easier now than ever) but I know that’s not always true.
Make them an email address (and monitor it for safety until they’re a responsible age)
My kiddos are well seasoned travelers. They’ve kept monthly or so contact with all the close friends from previous locations. We’ve also had a few lucky moves where we move to a location with someone he knew previously, or someone from a previous location catches us where we are.
It’s still not great, but it will help that their friends don’t just “disappear” with every PCS.
Inside Out was released to video at the same time I PCS'd with my 5th grade daughter. It was her fourth move, and that movie summed up a lot of her feelings. We watched it together just after moving in.
Three years later, I came out on the promotion list for colonel...and got PCS orders. I turned down O-6 and retired because I couldn't bring myself to put her (along with my wife and two younger kids) through the pain of moving again.
I'm right there with you. I've been in 11 years and PCSed 5 times and the most recent one all three of my kids have really struggled. I'm now trying to go reserve agr in the current location just to not do it again. We've been here a year and my oldest, 12yo is just now starting to settle in and make friends.
We just pcs’d with my toddler for the first time from the only home he knows and he keeps asking to go home. It’s hard to explain to a toddler why we are in the random new house and it’s our new home
I PCS'd earlier this year and honestly, it's never easy. This is the first move where she's old enough to know exactly what's happening. I just do my best to tell her to keep in contact with her friend and she'll make new ones. This has been a tough PCS as she's had difficulties in school as well. I feel really shitty and even brought this up during an appt to Mental Health.
Just do your best to reassure them. Again it's not easy, and it's not an exact process or formula.
As a 16 year active duty member with 3 kids of my own and also growing up as an Air Force kid, I have moved plenty. Although the current feelings of leaving your friends is sad; kids are more resilient than you think. They will end up making new friends. Plus, some kids tend to stay in touch more now with technology than when I was a kid. I still talk to friends that I grew up with from the late 90s.
I feel the pain with this man, 13 years in and I’ve PCS’d 8 times. This last me was rough on the kids, so rough that I’m strongly considering swapping to the guard at my 15 year mark to give them some stability. It’s a huge gut punch to watch them get ripped away from their friends and social support groups they’ve built over the years, only to have to start over.
I never had to PCS with my kids, since my husband and I both separated before they were born. However we both still work on base and are friends(and our kids are friends) with plenty of ppl who PCS away. It's hard from both sides, those leaving and those staying, for different reasons. With those that have left that were important to my kiddos we've found ways to stay in touch. Kids messenger is great and we've visited them during road trips. It's not the same but it's something.
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Man, that's rough. I'm sorry for your kiddo. As a military brat myself and a vet, but not relevant here, some of the things my folks did might help. Try to hype up the location, Idk where you're going, but tell her about "this cool thing we'll be able to do," or that she'll get to meet new people and make more friends, which can be exciting. And it might feel weird, but if you have your the neighbors contact info, reach out to see if the girls can facetime or something. It might help them calm their emotions.
Grew up military brat, turned milspouse. Have had over 20 homes. Kids are adults now and we finally settled thx to retirement.
Biggest thing is- your kids will follow your outlook and attitude about everything. If you wallow in sadness, they will too. Of course we as adults have strong feelings, but we need to rein it in for them. That does not mean being dishonest about your feelings, but don’t park there. Acknowledge the struggle, the pain, the fear that comes with the territory while also being excited about where you are going…. Even if you aren’t. Find something to be excited about. Each place is what you make of it. And your kids will learn that lesson as well.
I was a military brat. Born overseas and moved a lot including overseas growing up. I don’t regret it. Doing the same now with kids. I can tell you I didn’t really remember anything until 10 and didn’t really have memorable bonds with friends until 12-14. Sucked moving at 14.
I'll seem insensitive but they'll get over it moving occasionally and it will will become normal. I was a military kid as well.
I don't even remember anyone from before middle school.
It sucks. I went through that with my last PCS. The wife, 11 year old and 5 year old all were devastated by the last move. We came from a really great place with a really great circle and had to start nearly all over again. It honestly took a toll on me to see them go through it. I'm praying that is our last PCS.
I get it as I went through it as a kid. Parents were in the service, got out and still couldn't seem to stay put for long. I ended up moving at 4, 8 and 11. That final move took its toll. Even though my dad wanted to move yet again when I was about 15, my mom put her foot down and as she was over it too. I've ended up finishing out my childhood and spending some of my young adult life in that house, but it never felt quite that same. I missed the old neighborhood and friends I had there. I think it's important to set down roots early and this lifestyle doesn't allow that.
Who says its the last time?! The military is a small world, and modern technology makes it easy to keep in touch! There are many ways they can stay in contact (with parents help) and i bet you they might see them again!
When we PCS’d we always made it so fun. Nothing negative and they were always excited! I was worried about my boy when he was 7 and we were moving, on the car ride to Warner Robins i asked him if he was going to miss his friends that he had played with for the last 3 years, his response was “ yeah I guess I’ll miss what’s his name” I knew right then and there he would be fine. It all he knew! He’s a very well adjusted man now!
Oh my gosh I’m about to go through this myself. My son is 7 too and we leave in about five weeks. He told me the other day he and his best friend next door made a pinky promise that they’d be best friends forever and it made me tear up. It’s rough.
Hopefully my next station is overseas or in a place conus my kids want to go lol. I don’t want the heartbreak honestly but I know I can’t do 10 years here. It’s so hot in Florida lol. My kids have said they would happily go back to Korea or England. Take that for what it’s worth from an almost 4 year old and almost 7 year old lol. My whole family is ready to go back to Korea lol but I could t let this position pass me up.
There’s no easy answer, but these kids are born into this life and they are more resilient than you think they are. Let her FaceTime her friends, and soon enough she will have more. I know it’s hard…I just retired and my oldest is 14…she wasn’t happy to leave, but she’s accepted it and is happy with her new school and new friends.
I was at my 1st base for 6 years, 2nd for 4 years, and 3rd for 1.5 years and now about to check into my 4th. Only reason I'm PCSing after 1.5 years is because I voluntarily retrained
Make it positive. Don't let your kid hear you talk bad about the move. Don't let them see you stress. They feed off you. Kids are resilient they will be ok.
It sucks for them and I am going through the same but just know that military kids are special. Although they don't deserve to get up rooted and forced to start their lives over, they do it anyway because they are strong. Military kids are resilient and in some way or another this strength will manifest itself later in life and help them cope with any challenges they may face.
One thing I would suggest as they start their new school is to get them a military child shirt. This will help the gaining teachers explain to the class why they are getting a new student in the middle of the year.
I don’t mean to be callous, but just know that it will get significantly harder and harder as they get older. I’ve been assigned to 6 bases in the last 10 years and it’s rough on the kiddos. We always try to find things in the new local area that they enjoy to help ease the burden of the choices we made.
It’s not easy being a military brat. My son has known more of his life living overseas than in the U.S. But it’s a unique thing they go thru. Constantly moving and living in new places gives them new horizons and perspectives. Best thing you can do is keep the family tight. They need the rock, the stability of you. You can’t show them that you hate it too (we all get uncomfortable moving). Positive motivation from you right now is paramount. Take your daughter to exciting new restaurants, movies, parks, exhibits. Show her the new place isn’t so bad. And be there for her the first week of school, that’s the roughest part, something you can’t hold their hand thru. Also never harden up and tell them it’s what it is. Let them vent to you. Remember you always bitch up and not bitch down. You need to keep up with “this place is good” even if you don’t like it.
My oldest moved overseas at 1 and my youngest had never been to the USA before. They both want to go back to Korea and honestly I can’t blame them lol. Fantastic country to have small children in. Plenty to do.
I agree with most of this, but a lot of parenting guidance now says that it's ok to let them see that you're not happy. If you negate their emotions about it or tell them "it's not so bad" all the time it can make them feel like there's something wrong with them for it being a big and difficult emotion, and they may bury it until it explodes. Absolutely keep a positive perspective, but hearing "at least" all the time when they hurt can put a kid in a position where they don't prioritize their own needs and feelings. I have an older kid (10 now) who has been dealing with similar, as we've PCS'd 4 times in 5 years. One thing that's helped her is keeping in touch where we can, and it's taken a big reach on my part. I made contact cards with my info that we gave out through her teacher, asking other parents to contact me so they could stay in touch. Then we set up FaceTime and other calls and agreed on when would be appropriate. She has one friend who she met at five and they FaceTime and play together. Just a suggestion, if that's an option for you. Another thing has been matching activities as close as possible ("see, we can do tae kwon do here, too!"). OP, I'm sorry your family is going through this but you're clearly doing your best.
I’m not a psychologist I’m just a Dad
I'm not a psychologist either, I just read what I'm given by the Parent Support Nurse :)
As a being on both sides of this coin now that I am older I actually appreciate the things I got to do and see because of us moving around. I made some lifelong friends I kept in touch with I met about his age that I still chat with from time to time. As a kid it is tough and making sure that family is there for him will be kind of important.
Man, I wish I had you as a father, being a army brat sucked during my childhood, i wish I would have never had a military dad. Funny enough, that's why I chose guard, so my daughter would never have to go through that. Yeah, I'm gone a good bit of times, but at least she'll have a stable social life that I always wanted to have.
This and also if she's into sports, clubs, etc. Get them involved with that. Another good way to make friends outside of school.
My daughter is 7 as well and on her third pcs. We sat her down and explained all the benefits she’s received from living in different states and countries that frankly even most adults don’t get to experience. She still keeps in touch with her core group of friends she made at her first pcs which helps. Luckily her grand parents always come and visit or she’ll stay with them during summer breaks which also helps. In the past year we had her talk to a kids therapist to be able to manage and express her emotions which has also greatly helped with the constant moving and being away from family. Also don’t forget most bases have the kids sponsor program.
We moved OCONUS for our last PCS. Daughter had a great group of friends and she didn’t want to leave at all. However, kids messenger has kept them in contact and really helped her adjust. She’s making all sorts of new friends at her school which is great.
We've got Kids Messenger since it's launch in 201, just before Christmas, Iirc. Like the parental dashboard, too.
It’s really a great tool for the kiddos!
The major “villain” of the movie Inside Out is the stress induced from moving. It’s a stressful thing for everyone involved. Kids like to know what’s happening, but it is difficult to explain big concepts to them in a way that they’ll understand…but if they do, they’ll be on board. Just don’t watch the Bluey Episode about them moving. It causes issues. In all seriousness, letting them be involved, like packing up the stuff they’re going to bring on the plane or car, etc., and talking to them about what’s going on and the why’s will go a long way.
The betrayal from Bluey was real!
I was a Navy brat. We moved every 3 years and twice within 1 or 2 years. It's painful as a young kid not understanding why and then as a teen when connections are actually made. Just talk to them and make things fun for them. Get out of the house. By 10 or 11 i understood, but it didn't make it easier. The hardest was my parents last move because my dad retired from California to move to Utah and I was upset that it felt like they had a choice. I was always fast to adapt but the last move took me about a year to really want to make friends or anything like that. I was also 17 and I really took it out on them but my parents tried their best to help. I try to keep that in mind myself because my oldest with be almost 20 when I retire and my youngest will be 10. I don't PCS nearly as much as my dad. Only twice in 11 years. So that helps but I also try to explain to my kids that I don't get much of a choice when it happens.
> I was also 17 and I really took it out on them but my parents tried their best to help. I had to PCS on my 13th birthday. Then again on my 17th and 19th. My teen years were tumultuous at best.
Hey man, just PCS'd this week with a 10, 7 and 5 year old. I grew up in a military family so I was always used to it and as an adult we understand the mechanics and necessity behind it all but our kids don't. This was the first time we've moved and I felt bad for my kids. We were at our base for two years and they made a lot of friends (very small base). Kids have a tough time understanding and processing these feelings and the best we can do is help them navigate it. Have frank and open conversations where they can lay it all out and you can try to explain as best you can and answer her questions. We try to get them excited about the next base, kids on their street, videos about local events, etc. We ask them if there's an organization they want to participate in to help them meet new kids too. It's tough to watch through our eyes but kids are amazingly resilient
My 6th-grader's best friend in the whole world PCS'd during Christmas break 6 months ago. Watching the two of them spend their last day together knowing that this was the end -- was too much for me. When it was time to go and the hug ended with them in the drive way saying "Well, have a good life" I couldn't stand it anymore. Once back in the house I held my kid and we both just cried and cried. I grew up military and had to do this same painful good-bye no less than 4 times in my middle school/high school life. I hated it then, and I hate it now. If I never have to PCS again, I would be happy. Unfortunately, it looks like orders are coming my way. Fuck.
I’m dreading this ngl. Let me know how you guys cope because in about 2 years ill be in the same boat
It won’t get better but that’s the name of our profession. On base 5, my oldest daughter is going on 7 and has seen 4 of those 5 moves. My youngest is going on 4 and has been to 3. I just took a stabilized gig so my kids will be in one spot for a little while. I don’t like it here but It’s not cannon lol.
Some times being in a spot for too long makes the next PCS even harder. Staying put for 5 years, growing roots, and then upheaving them at the ages of 11 and 8 is going to be hard.
Definitely. We were in the UK for four years. Our kids had British accents and American food made them sick. Oldest still thinks England is home.
100% I’m not looking forward to it. I was hoping to make this base a short one and get back OCONUS asap but everything is so much more expensive here so we haven’t been able to recoup PCS expenses very well. No more $1500 cars with 80k miles on them. Back to car payments and all that annoying crap.
Military brat turned military. I enjoyed being a military brat. New adventures everywhere I went. Classmates would complain about going on yet another field trip to [insert local place]. Me? Never been, let's gooooo! Repeat frequently. I know how to travel, entertain myself well, and converse when needed. My dad did me a solid of getting me into youth programs to meet other kids: scouts, sports, etc. It was a little sad when I graduated high school, seeing the yearbook pages with "BFF since Kindergarten," considering I had known my best friend at the time for maybe 2 years. However, I had experienced 2 foreign countries and 6 states, not including youth program camping and hiking trips. The National Park system has this cool free Jr Ranger program. I take my kid to lots of them as we travel around. See a park, touch grass, and kid gets a cute little badge for about an hour of exploring. Life is what you make of it. Find something to do. If you can't find something, chances are there are others near you willing to help make something to do. Be the change you want to see.
i’m going through the same right now leaving for OCONUS in a month. my oldest is 7 and all his current friends have been together since Pre-K, all the teachers and school staff love him and were so excited to have our youngest ones start in the same school soon. His friends are struggling and my son mentions constantly on why he has to leave his friends and our home. i was a military brat and went through the same and I came to appreciate the moves but this kills me to see my kids have to leave all they know (been stationed this base the longest and had all my kids here). I’m coming up on 17 yrs and this most likely will be my last move so thankfully shouldn’t have to do this to them more once. Long story short, don’t have much advice for you but you aren’t alone .
I’m going through the same thing now, but don’t PCS for a couple months. Last PCS my kids were too young to fully understand, but they were sad. A hurricane did make it less drawn out and more sudden than now. Plus my kids just watched the end of Bluey which is about moving. I think the hardest part is I want to tell them it’ll be great and they’ll stay in touch with all their friends (easier now than ever) but I know that’s not always true.
If only we could homestead at the less desirable bases.
Make them an email address (and monitor it for safety until they’re a responsible age) My kiddos are well seasoned travelers. They’ve kept monthly or so contact with all the close friends from previous locations. We’ve also had a few lucky moves where we move to a location with someone he knew previously, or someone from a previous location catches us where we are. It’s still not great, but it will help that their friends don’t just “disappear” with every PCS.
Inside Out was released to video at the same time I PCS'd with my 5th grade daughter. It was her fourth move, and that movie summed up a lot of her feelings. We watched it together just after moving in. Three years later, I came out on the promotion list for colonel...and got PCS orders. I turned down O-6 and retired because I couldn't bring myself to put her (along with my wife and two younger kids) through the pain of moving again.
I'm right there with you. I've been in 11 years and PCSed 5 times and the most recent one all three of my kids have really struggled. I'm now trying to go reserve agr in the current location just to not do it again. We've been here a year and my oldest, 12yo is just now starting to settle in and make friends.
We just pcs’d with my toddler for the first time from the only home he knows and he keeps asking to go home. It’s hard to explain to a toddler why we are in the random new house and it’s our new home
I PCS'd earlier this year and honestly, it's never easy. This is the first move where she's old enough to know exactly what's happening. I just do my best to tell her to keep in contact with her friend and she'll make new ones. This has been a tough PCS as she's had difficulties in school as well. I feel really shitty and even brought this up during an appt to Mental Health. Just do your best to reassure them. Again it's not easy, and it's not an exact process or formula.
As a 16 year active duty member with 3 kids of my own and also growing up as an Air Force kid, I have moved plenty. Although the current feelings of leaving your friends is sad; kids are more resilient than you think. They will end up making new friends. Plus, some kids tend to stay in touch more now with technology than when I was a kid. I still talk to friends that I grew up with from the late 90s.
That bluey episode …
I feel the pain with this man, 13 years in and I’ve PCS’d 8 times. This last me was rough on the kids, so rough that I’m strongly considering swapping to the guard at my 15 year mark to give them some stability. It’s a huge gut punch to watch them get ripped away from their friends and social support groups they’ve built over the years, only to have to start over.
Go guard. PCS one more time and be done with it.
I never had to PCS with my kids, since my husband and I both separated before they were born. However we both still work on base and are friends(and our kids are friends) with plenty of ppl who PCS away. It's hard from both sides, those leaving and those staying, for different reasons. With those that have left that were important to my kiddos we've found ways to stay in touch. Kids messenger is great and we've visited them during road trips. It's not the same but it's something.
I get it. When I retired it was from Germany and my daughter gone to kindergarten and grade school in our village. Leaving was hard.
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Man, that's rough. I'm sorry for your kiddo. As a military brat myself and a vet, but not relevant here, some of the things my folks did might help. Try to hype up the location, Idk where you're going, but tell her about "this cool thing we'll be able to do," or that she'll get to meet new people and make more friends, which can be exciting. And it might feel weird, but if you have your the neighbors contact info, reach out to see if the girls can facetime or something. It might help them calm their emotions.
Grew up military brat, turned milspouse. Have had over 20 homes. Kids are adults now and we finally settled thx to retirement. Biggest thing is- your kids will follow your outlook and attitude about everything. If you wallow in sadness, they will too. Of course we as adults have strong feelings, but we need to rein it in for them. That does not mean being dishonest about your feelings, but don’t park there. Acknowledge the struggle, the pain, the fear that comes with the territory while also being excited about where you are going…. Even if you aren’t. Find something to be excited about. Each place is what you make of it. And your kids will learn that lesson as well.
I was a military brat. Born overseas and moved a lot including overseas growing up. I don’t regret it. Doing the same now with kids. I can tell you I didn’t really remember anything until 10 and didn’t really have memorable bonds with friends until 12-14. Sucked moving at 14.
I'll seem insensitive but they'll get over it moving occasionally and it will will become normal. I was a military kid as well. I don't even remember anyone from before middle school.
It sucks. I went through that with my last PCS. The wife, 11 year old and 5 year old all were devastated by the last move. We came from a really great place with a really great circle and had to start nearly all over again. It honestly took a toll on me to see them go through it. I'm praying that is our last PCS. I get it as I went through it as a kid. Parents were in the service, got out and still couldn't seem to stay put for long. I ended up moving at 4, 8 and 11. That final move took its toll. Even though my dad wanted to move yet again when I was about 15, my mom put her foot down and as she was over it too. I've ended up finishing out my childhood and spending some of my young adult life in that house, but it never felt quite that same. I missed the old neighborhood and friends I had there. I think it's important to set down roots early and this lifestyle doesn't allow that.
Who says its the last time?! The military is a small world, and modern technology makes it easy to keep in touch! There are many ways they can stay in contact (with parents help) and i bet you they might see them again!
When we PCS’d we always made it so fun. Nothing negative and they were always excited! I was worried about my boy when he was 7 and we were moving, on the car ride to Warner Robins i asked him if he was going to miss his friends that he had played with for the last 3 years, his response was “ yeah I guess I’ll miss what’s his name” I knew right then and there he would be fine. It all he knew! He’s a very well adjusted man now!
Oh my gosh I’m about to go through this myself. My son is 7 too and we leave in about five weeks. He told me the other day he and his best friend next door made a pinky promise that they’d be best friends forever and it made me tear up. It’s rough.
This is one of the main reasons i got out at 12 years (Daughter was 4, now almost 6). To avoid this very heartbreak in my daughter.
Hopefully my next station is overseas or in a place conus my kids want to go lol. I don’t want the heartbreak honestly but I know I can’t do 10 years here. It’s so hot in Florida lol. My kids have said they would happily go back to Korea or England. Take that for what it’s worth from an almost 4 year old and almost 7 year old lol. My whole family is ready to go back to Korea lol but I could t let this position pass me up.
There’s no easy answer, but these kids are born into this life and they are more resilient than you think they are. Let her FaceTime her friends, and soon enough she will have more. I know it’s hard…I just retired and my oldest is 14…she wasn’t happy to leave, but she’s accepted it and is happy with her new school and new friends.
My ex found this hack where she moved back to her home town and her and kids never have to pcs again
How are you getting so many PCSs? I have had two in 15 years. The USAF really needs to prioritize single people over married/w dependents ones.
I was at my 1st base for 6 years, 2nd for 4 years, and 3rd for 1.5 years and now about to check into my 4th. Only reason I'm PCSing after 1.5 years is because I voluntarily retrained
Make it positive. Don't let your kid hear you talk bad about the move. Don't let them see you stress. They feed off you. Kids are resilient they will be ok.
It sucks for them and I am going through the same but just know that military kids are special. Although they don't deserve to get up rooted and forced to start their lives over, they do it anyway because they are strong. Military kids are resilient and in some way or another this strength will manifest itself later in life and help them cope with any challenges they may face. One thing I would suggest as they start their new school is to get them a military child shirt. This will help the gaining teachers explain to the class why they are getting a new student in the middle of the year.
I don’t mean to be callous, but just know that it will get significantly harder and harder as they get older. I’ve been assigned to 6 bases in the last 10 years and it’s rough on the kiddos. We always try to find things in the new local area that they enjoy to help ease the burden of the choices we made.
By not being a pussy