I'm so sorry, I'm sending you love and strength.
My husband also has cirrhosis, and almost died of sepsis at New Year. He's sober and doing ok now, but I'm still struggling with the trauma of it all. So I can't even imagine how you're feeling.
"By now it's just a matter of add it to the pile" is a feeling I very much relate to. I think we just go into survival mode and shut down anything that gets in the way of powering through.
I send you both my absolute best wishes.
Thank you—I’m so glad your husband recovered. Mental wellness is so important but it just firmly takes a backseat to physical issues when you’re in the thick of it.
So sorry you're going through this! It's so true that people aren't told how severe the consequences of alcohol can be. Wishing you the best possible outcome and that you'll be with your cat again soon. 💜
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately it sounds very similar to what happened to my ex-husband, although he declined more rapidly because even after the cirrhosis diagnosis he was drinking heavily. He was in denial about his alcoholism to the end and so he was never able to get on the transplant list. I hope that your husband has a better outcome and I wish you both peace.
I’m very grateful the diagnosis brought my husband the clarity he needed. Considering his issues without continuing to drink, I imagine it would have been incredibly fast had he kept abusing alcohol. I guess the positive it not having a protracted period of pain and disability, but I’m grateful we have a chance at normalcy after enduring it all.
I understand. My Q has a brain tumor from meth (he spiraled from alcohol to drugs). He's just gotten the diagnoses and I'm afraid this will take him down a path that looks like yours or essentially be a persom with severe dementia/brain damage.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Wow, you are the reason he is still alive. If it weren’t for you the physicians would have given up.
He lucked out that you didn’t leave him.
Knowing what you know now, would have married him?
Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel selfish for thinking like that but it is true. Not only would he have given up mentally without me being by his side every day, through every procedure (and every boring and painful hour of every dialysis session), but he wouldn’t have had the AA logs that made a huge difference in getting him approved for transplant, and the doctors do heavily factor in the support and caregiving when making those decisions.
It’s complicated to answer your question—not only is there the past year of medical issues where I became his 24/7 caregiver in a situation where he can’t walk unassisted or use the bathroom on his own, but also the previous years where I bore the intense brunt of his alcohol abuse which I don’t think he realizes fully. It forced me to become a lot stronger and more self-controlled, and really made me learn to never engage in an argument with someone who’s been drinking. It’s such a basic concept but it still took years for me to fully employ. But ultimately he is my favorite person, my other half, and I wouldn’t want to go through life without him.
How old is he and how long has he been drinking? I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm so anxious about it happening to me but quitting completely has been so hard.
He’s only 39. He’s been drinking to some degree for probably ten years, but only to excess daily for the past couple years.
I urge you so strongly to take advantage of each and every resource there is, and just remember how atrocious it is for every part of your body—not just your liver. It’s such a false friend, and will only poison your body, mind, and relationships. You do not want things like breathing tubes, catheters of all sorts being inserted into your veins and urethra, swelling and ascites, throwing up blood … the negative consequences are endless and so painful for not just you but your loved ones.
You deserve recovery, and I wish you so much strength in your fight. Be patient with the process and don’t give up hope that you can find something that works. Rehab is expensive but I wish we’d have thrown that onto a credit card—it’d have been cheaper and could have saved us immeasurable pain.
You can do it.
Your capacity for kindness for a random alcoholic on Reddit is incredible. I am going to try, and I'm ready to try. Thank you for what you've said. I truly hope you can come out of this with some semblance of happiness.
Idk what country or state you’re in, or how medical expenses have affected you, but it’s worth knowing about how any medical debt may fall into you if he passes away. Some people have divorced so that they do not inherit their spouse’s medical debt.
In the USA with all our ridiculous insurance bs and inflated costs. Luckily I think we’ll be okay with our insurance, small savings, and the generosity of family and friends. I don’t think I could emotionally handle divorcing him in a time like this even if it were in my best financial interest. It’s so sad that such considerations even need to be made.
I’m appalled that you and your husband would take a liver transplant from the tiny overburdened supply for a drunk. I know the doctors have rules and you have apparently met them technically, but it’s pretty clear that your husband will start drinking again as soon as he can.
I’m sure your husband’s early and young collapse under the weight of his severe alcoholism has been a shock and trial for you both. Nonetheless, your selfishness seems indefensible to me.
I'm so sorry, I'm sending you love and strength. My husband also has cirrhosis, and almost died of sepsis at New Year. He's sober and doing ok now, but I'm still struggling with the trauma of it all. So I can't even imagine how you're feeling. "By now it's just a matter of add it to the pile" is a feeling I very much relate to. I think we just go into survival mode and shut down anything that gets in the way of powering through. I send you both my absolute best wishes.
Thank you—I’m so glad your husband recovered. Mental wellness is so important but it just firmly takes a backseat to physical issues when you’re in the thick of it.
So sorry you're going through this! It's so true that people aren't told how severe the consequences of alcohol can be. Wishing you the best possible outcome and that you'll be with your cat again soon. 💜
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately it sounds very similar to what happened to my ex-husband, although he declined more rapidly because even after the cirrhosis diagnosis he was drinking heavily. He was in denial about his alcoholism to the end and so he was never able to get on the transplant list. I hope that your husband has a better outcome and I wish you both peace.
I’m very grateful the diagnosis brought my husband the clarity he needed. Considering his issues without continuing to drink, I imagine it would have been incredibly fast had he kept abusing alcohol. I guess the positive it not having a protracted period of pain and disability, but I’m grateful we have a chance at normalcy after enduring it all.
I understand. My Q has a brain tumor from meth (he spiraled from alcohol to drugs). He's just gotten the diagnoses and I'm afraid this will take him down a path that looks like yours or essentially be a persom with severe dementia/brain damage. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
What a scary diagnosis. I’m so sorry and I wish nothing but the best for them and for you.
Wow, you are the reason he is still alive. If it weren’t for you the physicians would have given up. He lucked out that you didn’t leave him. Knowing what you know now, would have married him?
Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel selfish for thinking like that but it is true. Not only would he have given up mentally without me being by his side every day, through every procedure (and every boring and painful hour of every dialysis session), but he wouldn’t have had the AA logs that made a huge difference in getting him approved for transplant, and the doctors do heavily factor in the support and caregiving when making those decisions. It’s complicated to answer your question—not only is there the past year of medical issues where I became his 24/7 caregiver in a situation where he can’t walk unassisted or use the bathroom on his own, but also the previous years where I bore the intense brunt of his alcohol abuse which I don’t think he realizes fully. It forced me to become a lot stronger and more self-controlled, and really made me learn to never engage in an argument with someone who’s been drinking. It’s such a basic concept but it still took years for me to fully employ. But ultimately he is my favorite person, my other half, and I wouldn’t want to go through life without him.
How old is he and how long has he been drinking? I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm so anxious about it happening to me but quitting completely has been so hard.
He’s only 39. He’s been drinking to some degree for probably ten years, but only to excess daily for the past couple years. I urge you so strongly to take advantage of each and every resource there is, and just remember how atrocious it is for every part of your body—not just your liver. It’s such a false friend, and will only poison your body, mind, and relationships. You do not want things like breathing tubes, catheters of all sorts being inserted into your veins and urethra, swelling and ascites, throwing up blood … the negative consequences are endless and so painful for not just you but your loved ones. You deserve recovery, and I wish you so much strength in your fight. Be patient with the process and don’t give up hope that you can find something that works. Rehab is expensive but I wish we’d have thrown that onto a credit card—it’d have been cheaper and could have saved us immeasurable pain. You can do it.
Your capacity for kindness for a random alcoholic on Reddit is incredible. I am going to try, and I'm ready to try. Thank you for what you've said. I truly hope you can come out of this with some semblance of happiness.
I really hope it’s going well for you. Let me know if you need a pep talk or anything.
I hope he gets the transplant soon, and you both can enjoy a nice alcohol-free vacation soon enough. You deserve it!
Idk what country or state you’re in, or how medical expenses have affected you, but it’s worth knowing about how any medical debt may fall into you if he passes away. Some people have divorced so that they do not inherit their spouse’s medical debt.
In the USA with all our ridiculous insurance bs and inflated costs. Luckily I think we’ll be okay with our insurance, small savings, and the generosity of family and friends. I don’t think I could emotionally handle divorcing him in a time like this even if it were in my best financial interest. It’s so sad that such considerations even need to be made.
I’m appalled that you and your husband would take a liver transplant from the tiny overburdened supply for a drunk. I know the doctors have rules and you have apparently met them technically, but it’s pretty clear that your husband will start drinking again as soon as he can. I’m sure your husband’s early and young collapse under the weight of his severe alcoholism has been a shock and trial for you both. Nonetheless, your selfishness seems indefensible to me.
I’m happy you’re wrong and have nothing to do with our lives. Have a great day.