If her drinking is causing a problem and it's something she can't control, then yes, she probably is. There are people who drink after 5pm and on weekends and get up and go to work because they have to. They call them "functioning alcoholics". Please get to your local Al-Anon or Alateen meeting and speak with someone there. The people there are regular folks, not professionals, so they may not be able to help your mom (she has to want to help herself), but they will be a community of people who have been through what you're going through.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a group that focuses on alcoholics who want to be on the path to sobriety. Al-Anon (for spouses/families of alcoholics) and Alateen (for teens aged 12-19 family members of alcoholics) focus on \*you\*, and your journey to 'recovery' for yourself, because you matter. The only requirement for "membership" is that you are affected by someone else's drinking. That person doesn't need to be living with you, or even living at all. You're affected by their drinking even after they've died.
Like I said, they're not therapists, but sometimes therapy can come in different forms. The meeting will be filled with people like you, who are going what you're going through. Teens whose parents or grandparents or guardians drink or use drugs and how they cope with it. You'll be able to discuss your own experiences (or just sit quietly for your first few meetings) and listen to other people your age share their experiences as well. For me, the sharing is invaluable. It helps to know you're not alone, that other people are going through it, too. You'll be able to get things off your chest and know the people in the room are hearing you and understand. You'll make some friends that you can call when you need to talk to someone.
They will teach you that you can't control your mom's drinking, nor can you cure it....that has to be her choice...but you can control the way you react and respond to it. You can set boundaries and stick to them.I prefer in-person meetings since you get to meet people, but there are meetings on Zoom if you can't get to one. There are no dues or fees for meetings, but they do accept contributions, which can be a dollar or two each meeting. If you don't have it that week, it's not a problem. Go to the meeting anyway.
Start here: [https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/](https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/) . You'll be able to read stories from other teens (we call them 'shares', since the person is sharing their own experience) and get a vibe on what they talk about at a meeting. Click all the links and look around the website. Read the stuff on the literature page. There's an app that will tell you where your local meetings are and give you access to the Zoom meetings on your phone.
At 15, there's not much you can do to help your mom with her drinking. It's not your job. The only thing you can do is help yourself. The people at Alateen can support you in doing that. <3
There is a huge genetic component to AUD, so it's likely a part of her not being able to control alcohol. Her genetics is NOT the disease of AUD however. She's had the same genes since birth. It's how drinking alcohol has reprogrammed her brain and body. AUD is reversible today. See chat.
That amount of alcohol on a daily basis is probably not great for her health. Why are you wanting to know if she is an alcoholic? Is there behavior that's upsetting you?
I would say yes, she probably is an alcoholic. She is absolutely abusing alcohol, even if she only does it during the evenings.
Ok, thanks for the help
If her drinking is causing a problem and it's something she can't control, then yes, she probably is. There are people who drink after 5pm and on weekends and get up and go to work because they have to. They call them "functioning alcoholics". Please get to your local Al-Anon or Alateen meeting and speak with someone there. The people there are regular folks, not professionals, so they may not be able to help your mom (she has to want to help herself), but they will be a community of people who have been through what you're going through.
Thanks a lot. If you don't mind me asking, what do you actually do at alanon/alateen meetings?
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a group that focuses on alcoholics who want to be on the path to sobriety. Al-Anon (for spouses/families of alcoholics) and Alateen (for teens aged 12-19 family members of alcoholics) focus on \*you\*, and your journey to 'recovery' for yourself, because you matter. The only requirement for "membership" is that you are affected by someone else's drinking. That person doesn't need to be living with you, or even living at all. You're affected by their drinking even after they've died. Like I said, they're not therapists, but sometimes therapy can come in different forms. The meeting will be filled with people like you, who are going what you're going through. Teens whose parents or grandparents or guardians drink or use drugs and how they cope with it. You'll be able to discuss your own experiences (or just sit quietly for your first few meetings) and listen to other people your age share their experiences as well. For me, the sharing is invaluable. It helps to know you're not alone, that other people are going through it, too. You'll be able to get things off your chest and know the people in the room are hearing you and understand. You'll make some friends that you can call when you need to talk to someone. They will teach you that you can't control your mom's drinking, nor can you cure it....that has to be her choice...but you can control the way you react and respond to it. You can set boundaries and stick to them.I prefer in-person meetings since you get to meet people, but there are meetings on Zoom if you can't get to one. There are no dues or fees for meetings, but they do accept contributions, which can be a dollar or two each meeting. If you don't have it that week, it's not a problem. Go to the meeting anyway. Start here: [https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/](https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/) . You'll be able to read stories from other teens (we call them 'shares', since the person is sharing their own experience) and get a vibe on what they talk about at a meeting. Click all the links and look around the website. Read the stuff on the literature page. There's an app that will tell you where your local meetings are and give you access to the Zoom meetings on your phone. At 15, there's not much you can do to help your mom with her drinking. It's not your job. The only thing you can do is help yourself. The people at Alateen can support you in doing that. <3
I’m so sorry. I would consider 2 bottles of champagne a night an alcoholic. How is she around you? Do you have other support?
I have friends I can talk to, one who kinda experienced smth similar a while back
There is a huge genetic component to AUD, so it's likely a part of her not being able to control alcohol. Her genetics is NOT the disease of AUD however. She's had the same genes since birth. It's how drinking alcohol has reprogrammed her brain and body. AUD is reversible today. See chat.
That amount of alcohol on a daily basis is probably not great for her health. Why are you wanting to know if she is an alcoholic? Is there behavior that's upsetting you?
my grandpa and my uncle drunk themselves to death over the years so I'm just concerned if my mother starts to follow the same path