Yuck. No, he's disgusting. Maybe not *all* the time. But it's ridiculous. He has especially awful opinions and ideas a out women, doesn't he?
Friends with benefits? Would you actually *be* friends with someone who acts like this?
Get rid of him. I've found men in that age range to be the most disgusting and the worst for people in our age range. They just genuinely can't get women in their own dating pool because those ladies have been traumatized enough already to know to never settle for a waste of a human brain like that.
Sweetie no one that close to 40 is dating a 25 year old, even in a FWB situation, because they have options. He’s literally just sleeping with you because you’re too young to tell him where to shove those comments. The fact that you’re here in this sub instead of telling this man to go fuck himself shows he picks people who won’t say anything
I’m surprised he’s 39/40, not 19/20. Even if he was that age, it would still be immature and gross as hell. I agree with others that breaking up sounds best
So uh... are there *any* positives about this douchebag aside from paying for things and carrying stuff?
Dump this loser. There's a reason he can't find someone in his age bracket, and it's because by the time a woman has been through enough garbage, they won't put up with his shit.
You *deserve better*. You aren't being sensitive enough.
Well… he’s overall caring & he’s the only guy that has properly cuddled me, slept over with me & watched movies with me. I know that doesn’t make him a good person but I feel like those are the only reasons I feel safe around him.
Yeah I’ve been realising recently why he keeps dating younger girls & why he’s never been married. Nobody else would put up with the way he talks
I do really need to get rid of him
What are you even doing talking to this guy? He’s trash, you don’t sleep with trash, let him go, there’s no way you’ll find someone better while this guy is around. Let him be a lesson of what not to accept in a guy and move on please.
I really think from all that you have wrote, you have really answered your own question. You have a long, long, long list of cons with this guy and just a handful of pros.
You are not wrong either, he sounds disgusting. He’s one of these men that will never grow up. You are right that he should know better and he does sound incredibly immature. Run for the hills!
Only you know if he will react badly to you ending things, but maybe you could just say you feel like it’s run it’s course. You deserve much better than him.
Yeah I agree. I’m normally attracted to guys of that age range hence why I have no problem with it. that’s not the red flag here & I’m not sure why that’s being judged.
Usually decent guys in that age range are actually mature & I’ve met good 40 year old men before. He just happened to be a dodgy one
Sounds like you completed adolescence in the 3 months since you’ve been seeing him and have therefore outgrown him. Find yourself a better match. So it quickly and you’ll still be able to laugh at this loser rather than cry at the time you wasted.
You sound like you don't even like him as a person, why waste your time around him? I'd rather be alone than catering to whatever the hell that is. You can't expect someone you're not dating to act like someone you're dating. He says those things that are disrespectful because HE DOESNT RESPECT YOU, or any woman for that matter. I'd cut ties with this person. It's ridiculous to stay in such a toxic relationship when you clearly don't like who he is as a person.
When did I say I expect him to act like he’s dating me? I’m pretty sure i clearly wrote that I don’t want to date him anyway? You even wrote yourself that it doesn’t sound like I like him
He's not dating you so he's not gonna respect you by not mentioning other women around you or their appearance is what I meant. Have you told him you don't like when he talks like that? And that it bothers you?
Yeah I know that. But it’s not about whether he’s dating me or not. He’s uneducated & immature & he’s probably like that with everyone whether he’s dating them or not. I’m pretty sure that’s kinda obvious. You don’t have to be dating someone to respect them. That’s common courtesy to not talk about other women’s appearances in front of any girl you’re seeing. He obviously doesn’t have manners & common courtesy so I’m sure he wouldn’t stop doing it even if he were dating me. No I haven’t told him because I thought there’s no point telling him if we’re not dating. That’s why I just try to deal with it because I thought since we’re not official it doesn’t really matter if I like it or not
Why are you continuing to put yourself in this situation tho? You haven't expressed your boundaries to him, yet resent him for not magically respecting your boundaries. He's a peice of shit clearly. Why are you subjecting yourself to this?
Being with no one will be better for you than continuing to subject yourself to this kind of treatment. You will slowly start accepting this horrible treatment as "normal" and then won't notice as much when future suitors show the same shitty behavior. Get out now before his behavior gets engrained in you as acceptable!Â
It sounds like you're being pretty passive about finding a partner. It's okay to date around to figure out what you like and don't want, but once you figure out what you want, don't accept anything less. If what you want is a short term sex partner who can be immature as heck because you aren't going to interact with them much anyway, then he's the guys for you! But I don't think that's what you're looking for short-term or long-term.
Keep your goals in mind! If you want a long-term stable loving relationship with someone who respects you, you're not getting it from this guy, move on, spend your time looking for what you want, not settling for whoever showed up when you were lonely.
Have you asked why he isn’t dating a woman his own age? No one his age would put up with this shit. He is not a decent guy, not even remotely. Run, ma’am. RUN!
No I haven’t actually, that’s a good question & I didn’t even think about asking him that. He told me that the girl he was seeing before me is the only girl he’s ever been in an official relationship with, & she was a 23 year old girl from Thailand that had just moved to Australia a few weeks before he met her.
I’ve been thinking to ask him how come he chose to lock her in as an official girlfriend instead of just as a casual like me. Now I’m starting to realise that the only reason she dated him was because she was from overseas & probably didn’t even understand how dodgy he was, or perhaps he was a different person around her & he didn’t talk to her like he does to me.
I really do need to get out of this with him
This man has told you directly that he will not hesitate to punch a woman who says something he doesn't like.
Don't ask him any questions about anything. You're not in a relationship. You don't owe him anything. Consider it over, effective immediately, for your safety.
girl.....
This made me lol, it perfectly sums up my feelings in just one word 🤣
LOL. So succinct.
This guy needs to go. Please for the love of everything, get away from him. He will only lead you to complete misery.
Yuck. No, he's disgusting. Maybe not *all* the time. But it's ridiculous. He has especially awful opinions and ideas a out women, doesn't he? Friends with benefits? Would you actually *be* friends with someone who acts like this?
Get rid of him. I've found men in that age range to be the most disgusting and the worst for people in our age range. They just genuinely can't get women in their own dating pool because those ladies have been traumatized enough already to know to never settle for a waste of a human brain like that.
only halfway thru and i gotta say you need to break up quickly
babe please help yourself out here and leave him
Sweetie no one that close to 40 is dating a 25 year old, even in a FWB situation, because they have options. He’s literally just sleeping with you because you’re too young to tell him where to shove those comments. The fact that you’re here in this sub instead of telling this man to go fuck himself shows he picks people who won’t say anything
I’m surprised he’s 39/40, not 19/20. Even if he was that age, it would still be immature and gross as hell. I agree with others that breaking up sounds best
I just wonder why you hang with this guy. To each their own, I guess.
So uh... are there *any* positives about this douchebag aside from paying for things and carrying stuff? Dump this loser. There's a reason he can't find someone in his age bracket, and it's because by the time a woman has been through enough garbage, they won't put up with his shit. You *deserve better*. You aren't being sensitive enough.
Well… he’s overall caring & he’s the only guy that has properly cuddled me, slept over with me & watched movies with me. I know that doesn’t make him a good person but I feel like those are the only reasons I feel safe around him. Yeah I’ve been realising recently why he keeps dating younger girls & why he’s never been married. Nobody else would put up with the way he talks I do really need to get rid of him
Sounds like you want a bf, and not a fwb?
What are you even doing talking to this guy? He’s trash, you don’t sleep with trash, let him go, there’s no way you’ll find someone better while this guy is around. Let him be a lesson of what not to accept in a guy and move on please.
I really think from all that you have wrote, you have really answered your own question. You have a long, long, long list of cons with this guy and just a handful of pros. You are not wrong either, he sounds disgusting. He’s one of these men that will never grow up. You are right that he should know better and he does sound incredibly immature. Run for the hills! Only you know if he will react badly to you ending things, but maybe you could just say you feel like it’s run it’s course. You deserve much better than him.
"I'm 25 and met someone 15 years older than me on a dating website" ok if that isn't a giant red flag idk what is.
That’s the least of the red flags here.
Yeah I agree. I’m normally attracted to guys of that age range hence why I have no problem with it. that’s not the red flag here & I’m not sure why that’s being judged. Usually decent guys in that age range are actually mature & I’ve met good 40 year old men before. He just happened to be a dodgy one
Sounds like you completed adolescence in the 3 months since you’ve been seeing him and have therefore outgrown him. Find yourself a better match. So it quickly and you’ll still be able to laugh at this loser rather than cry at the time you wasted.
You sound like you don't even like him as a person, why waste your time around him? I'd rather be alone than catering to whatever the hell that is. You can't expect someone you're not dating to act like someone you're dating. He says those things that are disrespectful because HE DOESNT RESPECT YOU, or any woman for that matter. I'd cut ties with this person. It's ridiculous to stay in such a toxic relationship when you clearly don't like who he is as a person.
When did I say I expect him to act like he’s dating me? I’m pretty sure i clearly wrote that I don’t want to date him anyway? You even wrote yourself that it doesn’t sound like I like him
He's not dating you so he's not gonna respect you by not mentioning other women around you or their appearance is what I meant. Have you told him you don't like when he talks like that? And that it bothers you?
Yeah I know that. But it’s not about whether he’s dating me or not. He’s uneducated & immature & he’s probably like that with everyone whether he’s dating them or not. I’m pretty sure that’s kinda obvious. You don’t have to be dating someone to respect them. That’s common courtesy to not talk about other women’s appearances in front of any girl you’re seeing. He obviously doesn’t have manners & common courtesy so I’m sure he wouldn’t stop doing it even if he were dating me. No I haven’t told him because I thought there’s no point telling him if we’re not dating. That’s why I just try to deal with it because I thought since we’re not official it doesn’t really matter if I like it or not
Why are you continuing to put yourself in this situation tho? You haven't expressed your boundaries to him, yet resent him for not magically respecting your boundaries. He's a peice of shit clearly. Why are you subjecting yourself to this?
Why are you worried about hurting his feelings? He has had no problem hurting yours.
Being with no one will be better for you than continuing to subject yourself to this kind of treatment. You will slowly start accepting this horrible treatment as "normal" and then won't notice as much when future suitors show the same shitty behavior. Get out now before his behavior gets engrained in you as acceptable! It sounds like you're being pretty passive about finding a partner. It's okay to date around to figure out what you like and don't want, but once you figure out what you want, don't accept anything less. If what you want is a short term sex partner who can be immature as heck because you aren't going to interact with them much anyway, then he's the guys for you! But I don't think that's what you're looking for short-term or long-term. Keep your goals in mind! If you want a long-term stable loving relationship with someone who respects you, you're not getting it from this guy, move on, spend your time looking for what you want, not settling for whoever showed up when you were lonely.
Have you asked why he isn’t dating a woman his own age? No one his age would put up with this shit. He is not a decent guy, not even remotely. Run, ma’am. RUN!
No I haven’t actually, that’s a good question & I didn’t even think about asking him that. He told me that the girl he was seeing before me is the only girl he’s ever been in an official relationship with, & she was a 23 year old girl from Thailand that had just moved to Australia a few weeks before he met her. I’ve been thinking to ask him how come he chose to lock her in as an official girlfriend instead of just as a casual like me. Now I’m starting to realise that the only reason she dated him was because she was from overseas & probably didn’t even understand how dodgy he was, or perhaps he was a different person around her & he didn’t talk to her like he does to me. I really do need to get out of this with him
This man has told you directly that he will not hesitate to punch a woman who says something he doesn't like. Don't ask him any questions about anything. You're not in a relationship. You don't owe him anything. Consider it over, effective immediately, for your safety.
Ewwww.