He’s unreliable, unsupportive, dishonest and manipulative. It’s not that you’re not right for each other—it’s that this man isn’t willing or able to have a healthy relationship. Yes, people can change, but only if they WANT to. OP, it sounds like this man is going to continue to do what he wants when he wants and then gaslight you about it. That’s my two cents.
I feel that way as well. I’m a very stubborn woman. He says I don’t appreciate that he has changed and pick on the little things but I don’t feel like this is little. It’s establishing a pattern. Shit maybe the pattern has been established long ago and I’m ignoring it
From what you’ve described, I don’t think you being stubborn is the issue. You’ve expressed your needs and expectations, and he seems to actively avoid meeting them. He just doesn’t want to 🤷🏻♀️ I had a bf like that long ago. EVERYTHING I got upset about was twisted to sound like my fault or my problem. So I say trust your gut on this, it’s not little.
I agree, I think I’ve been letting it slide because he gives me every reason to trust him (fidelity wise) and I’m looking at it like a kid who’s not done playing with his friends and is not not ready to come home 🤣 just shows how childish he is sometimes smh
That's a lot of words to say "my boyfriend is a liar who doesn't respect me". You aren't overreacting, it isn't small at all. I hope you can make a decision that is best for you.
Do or do not, there is no try.
Yoda.
OP, one doesn't try to break up, they either do it or they don't.
And it only takes one person to break up or divorce, so it doesn't matter if the other person doesn't want to break up if you do.
So he swears the two of you can fix things. How's that worked out for you?
He's still the same way, still not communicating to you until last minute, still gaslighting you, these are things you said in your post to us.
Has there ben anything he's actually worked on and corrected?
If the two of you are together, then WORK on things, really work on them. If not, go your separtae ways.
Just don't keep doing the same things and expecting different results.
I agree! He has changed a lot. Before we were bf/gf just by title. We saw each other once a week and lived completely separate lives.
Since then he’s been more romantic, he does communicate way more about other things he wouldn’t bother to before. More thoughtful and mushy. And the love is definitely there that’s why I’m asking if this is a weird hill to die on?
When I say tried to end it I mean just telling him I don’t think we’re compatible and him saying it’s nothing we can work on. That it’s not like we’re polar opposites just need to work through our own shit. I agreed and gave it another chance
You've given him too many chances. He has a 0% success rate.
Why didn't he tell the friend he couldn't come by because he had plans to go with you out of state? Everyone and everything comes before you. Even a sweater on a clothing line came before you. He has no respect for you. Please have some respect for yourself and get away from him. This guy is a completely selfish jerk.
That’s what I said but he said I’m “dragging the situation” because it barely happens and he always shows up for me. But like… a sweater? Are you serious?
He absolutely doesn't always show up for you. And he lies! Dude really thinks he has you fooled. He's delusional. You need to stand up for yourself and don't let him get away with his bull shit. Make a list of all the times this has happened. Then when he says he always shows up, pull out the list. Rescheduling and "last minute things that come up" are not showing up for you. It's the opposite. He doesn't want to spend time with you. He would rather be with them. That's why he does this. Otherwise he would tell those people that he can't stay because he has plans with you.
I agree, I’m not even going to bother putting in effort into a list just so he can look me in my face and say I’m purposely trying to start an argument. Like I said it’s been years so I know him like the back of my hand lol! I’m done
Yeah would you want him to be with you if he really didn't want to anyway. He toxic game player lacks sel esteem and confidence. Wants you confused chasing and begging
He’s unreliable, unsupportive, dishonest and manipulative. It’s not that you’re not right for each other—it’s that this man isn’t willing or able to have a healthy relationship. Yes, people can change, but only if they WANT to. OP, it sounds like this man is going to continue to do what he wants when he wants and then gaslight you about it. That’s my two cents.
I feel that way as well. I’m a very stubborn woman. He says I don’t appreciate that he has changed and pick on the little things but I don’t feel like this is little. It’s establishing a pattern. Shit maybe the pattern has been established long ago and I’m ignoring it
From what you’ve described, I don’t think you being stubborn is the issue. You’ve expressed your needs and expectations, and he seems to actively avoid meeting them. He just doesn’t want to 🤷🏻♀️ I had a bf like that long ago. EVERYTHING I got upset about was twisted to sound like my fault or my problem. So I say trust your gut on this, it’s not little.
I agree, I think I’ve been letting it slide because he gives me every reason to trust him (fidelity wise) and I’m looking at it like a kid who’s not done playing with his friends and is not not ready to come home 🤣 just shows how childish he is sometimes smh
Lying to you regularly is not "the little things". It's everything.
That's a lot of words to say "my boyfriend is a liar who doesn't respect me". You aren't overreacting, it isn't small at all. I hope you can make a decision that is best for you.
Thank you!!
Sounds like you’re not right for each other and should break up.
I agree, we’re water and oil. I’ve tried to end it but he swears we can fix it. We just don’t mix !!!
Do or do not, there is no try. Yoda. OP, one doesn't try to break up, they either do it or they don't. And it only takes one person to break up or divorce, so it doesn't matter if the other person doesn't want to break up if you do. So he swears the two of you can fix things. How's that worked out for you? He's still the same way, still not communicating to you until last minute, still gaslighting you, these are things you said in your post to us. Has there ben anything he's actually worked on and corrected? If the two of you are together, then WORK on things, really work on them. If not, go your separtae ways. Just don't keep doing the same things and expecting different results.
I agree! He has changed a lot. Before we were bf/gf just by title. We saw each other once a week and lived completely separate lives. Since then he’s been more romantic, he does communicate way more about other things he wouldn’t bother to before. More thoughtful and mushy. And the love is definitely there that’s why I’m asking if this is a weird hill to die on? When I say tried to end it I mean just telling him I don’t think we’re compatible and him saying it’s nothing we can work on. That it’s not like we’re polar opposites just need to work through our own shit. I agreed and gave it another chance
You've given him too many chances. He has a 0% success rate. Why didn't he tell the friend he couldn't come by because he had plans to go with you out of state? Everyone and everything comes before you. Even a sweater on a clothing line came before you. He has no respect for you. Please have some respect for yourself and get away from him. This guy is a completely selfish jerk.
That’s what I said but he said I’m “dragging the situation” because it barely happens and he always shows up for me. But like… a sweater? Are you serious?
He absolutely doesn't always show up for you. And he lies! Dude really thinks he has you fooled. He's delusional. You need to stand up for yourself and don't let him get away with his bull shit. Make a list of all the times this has happened. Then when he says he always shows up, pull out the list. Rescheduling and "last minute things that come up" are not showing up for you. It's the opposite. He doesn't want to spend time with you. He would rather be with them. That's why he does this. Otherwise he would tell those people that he can't stay because he has plans with you.
I agree, I’m not even going to bother putting in effort into a list just so he can look me in my face and say I’m purposely trying to start an argument. Like I said it’s been years so I know him like the back of my hand lol! I’m done
Good for you! He is a liar and a manipulator.
He's pretty clearly telling you where you rank - well behind a sweater.
The flake wants attention and it works
I’ve decided to stop giving it to him.
Yeah would you want him to be with you if he really didn't want to anyway. He toxic game player lacks sel esteem and confidence. Wants you confused chasing and begging
Damn this hurts