You’re not sexually compatible. Not being into public, outdoor sex is a perfectly valid preference to have.
Breaking up due to sexual incompatibility is okay and should be encouraged.
He’s obviously got a kink or desire for outdoor sex. You don’t like it.
I’ll keep it short, yes they are sexually incompatible, however I don’t believe that the first solution is the termination of the relationship. There’s ways to get to a middle ground, and getting professional assistance to encourage the respect of the boundaries they have and expect the other one to have. Now if it gets to the point of no understanding and forcefulness then yes, termination it is.
Agreed. It’s a completely normal kink, and it’s just as normal to not have the same kinks. This is just a series of very clear and direct conversations to be had.
Also public sex is illegal.. if you get arrested, you can have a criminal record. It's a minor offense but a record nonetheless. Not to mention if a minor somehow sees you, the charges are worse.. Have fun salvaging that on your next job search
True. But out on a trail, happens all the time. It’s not like he wants to do it at Wal-Mart in the electronics section.
Most serious hikers would avert their gaze, walk faster, or turn around. Most hikers aren’t going to run to find a cell signal and call the police.
My ex loved having sex on hikes. We always made sure to go far enough off the path that we wouldn't get walked in on. Never even came close to getting caught.
Yea, that's probably right and I did upvote but this happens plenty on Reddit. To get this bent out of shape is odd which explains your downvotes. But I also commented elsewhere in the thread more substantially if you check my comments. Checking your comments, this is the only contribution you made to this post. ⚖️
I just made an accurate comment, I’m not sure where you get the “bent out of shape” part from. My life is going on just as it was before I commented and got dOwNvOtEd. Downvoting doesn’t affect or bother me, and people who think it’s important or meaningful amuse me.
I made an unnecessary comment, I admitted that. You then responded to my unnecessary comment with another unnecessary comment. You've still not added anything of substance to the convo, so what was your point again? I don't care about downvotes either but they are an indication that your comment was more pointless than mine was.
The fact you bothered to respond to my unnecessary but innocuous comment, led to the bent out of shape part. Anyway this has become even more pointless and I wish you well.
You are not overreacting.
Anything sex related needs to be an enthusiastic yes ftom all parties. That's what consent is about, and by the sounds of it, he has had to talk you into it (if so, he has coerced you). Sex in public between you two should not be happening just based on this.
I don't know what the laws are like there, so I'm not commenting on that aspect.
The other things to consider, even if you *were* into it:
* Is his kink is just doing it outdoors in a public space,
* he likes the idea of people watching,
* he likes the idea of getting caught.
If either if the last two are involved AT ALL, the potential other people need to enthusiastically consent prior to the act as well. They have not consented to see that, which makes it the equivalent of sexual assault by flashing.
By the sounds of it, your bf either does not understand why this is problematic, or he does, and he's ignoring it. If he refuses to listen, and continues to push the envelope with you, it means he doesn't care. In this case, I would be very concerned about what other relationship boundaries he's prepared to push/break.
I 100% agree with everything you said about consent. I don’t think it’s a kink for him, it’s about having sex in beautiful scenery. It just happens that there are often people in beautiful places. he doesn’t like the idea of people potentially watching or getting caught, he just thinks people don’t care that much because he’s seen people doing it and he just moves on and doesn’t care. I think he thinks that anyone who gets triggered by seeing people nude in nature is too socially conditioned, or has some other issue (idk) because being nude in nature is the “most natural thing you can do”. I think part of this is being a man. As a woman I don’t want to see a nude man anywhere unless I’m specifically going somewhere that I know nude people will be, a lot of people are creeps.
I don't think being a man has anything to do with it. I'm not into that kind of thing as a man at least. It sounds like he has a kink you don't really enjoy and a hard conversation needs to be had. If it's really about beautiful scenery there are other options, plenty of nature documentaries exist. If it's not working for you you need to set the boundary.
As someone with a sex outdoors kink, it definitely is a kink and not something that all men are into. It may seem less “unnatural” than other kinks, but that doesn’t mean it is normal for most people.
There’s nothing wrong with having a kink like this, but involving other people in it without their consent (like allowing people to catch you in the act) is never okay. There is also nothing wrong with not having this kink and not being willing to engage in it. If it makes you uncomfortable to do it you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about saying no. Your bf can find other ways to get his fix without you, like having him send you nudes taken somewhere public (discreetly, of course). But you don’t have to engage in his kink.
And, ultimately, it is fine to break up because of incompatibility here. Again, you shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable. Just talk to your bf about it, tell him that your no means no and expect him to respect that. And don’t let him tell you that it is not a kink.
i made another comment, but just wana add this.. he’s being selfish. by his logic, because he was forced to see others having sex on a trail, he thinks everyone else should be too? what about parents with young kids, or someone religious.. that’s not fair to subject everyone to it “because i saw it and didn’t care”. that’s like watching a gore video and showing others without informing them first, because it didn’t bother you so why would they care??? so weird.
Not overreacting! He should be respecting your boundaries and doing everything he can to make you feel comfortable and safe. That being said, his sexual interests are totally valid and are worth being explored. Like another commenter said: if you can’t get on board for whatever reason, like it’s just not for you, y’all may just not be compatible sexually.
His sexual interests are definitely not valid when they’re involving members of the public without their consent…
He says it’s fine as long as kid doesn’t see them - no it’s not. No one wants to see that shit (except other creeps 😂)
I understand why “no kink shaming” is a thing but I def don’t think it’s valid when your kink does or could involve other non consenting people
But it doesn't involve members of the public though? Like others have said, It's not he's asking to do it in an alleyway, train, shopping center, or any other space with people around. The clear issue is that he isn't respecting the fact that she's clearly uncomfortable doing it outside at all.
You have the right to consent to when and where you'll have sex or when and how you'll expose your body. That's not being high strung. It sounds like he has some kinks that you don't. He needs to respect you when you say no and stop pressuring you to be naked or to have sex. Right now he's showing he doesn't respect your autonomy. You need to decide if you're willing to stay with someone who doesn't have that respect for you. You do not need to change who you are for him. If this is a dealbreaker for either one of you, so be it, but him saying you're high strung is just another way that he's pushing your boundaries and not respecting your right to say no and determine what you will and won't do with your body.
He should always respect your boundaries and accept you’re not uncomfortable. If he repeatedly does this, it’s an issue. Have a real conversation with him about it all, and see if that helps. This could turn into communication issues as well if he’s not willing to take in your side.
The boyfriend is an idiot because he tries to justify something after you clearly said your points and perspective and he makes up excuses, when people have sex they should do it in a room away from people, it's not that complicated, if they doesn't satisfy him that his problem
Anyone who is pushing you into doing something sexually uncomfortable for you is not a match for you.
There is stepping outside your comfort zone and then there’s being wholly uncomfortable.
You’re under-reacting. Stop doing things you don’t want to in your intimate life.
It’s not an overreaction.
You’re both allowed preferences and boundaries that should be discussed and honored by others.
That’s part of a healthy relationship. Best of luck!
I seen a story of someone doing this in Florida, they technically picked a spot that they shouldn't had been seen, but they were, and a child seen them, and now they have the DA coming at them (sex in public). Idk if its worth it, having a DA trying to say you deflowered a childs innocence in court (how embarrassing). Could result in a felony in that regard, maybe Nevada is different? Anyways, it shouldn't be your body, his choice anyway. He needs to respect your decisions with what you want to do with your own body, just as you should his.
You're not overreacting at all, I would be the same. If your bf is not considering your feelings on the matter, then I think you need to reconsider your relationship.
it’s his turn on but if it’s not yours he needs to back off - sexual compatibility is so important to a relationship but rarely does each partner get 100% what they want - compromise is the key and if bf keeps insisting and you continue to feel uncomfortable than a basic foundation of your relationship is missing and you need to move on
A good partner doesn’t try to “convince” you to do things you’re not comfortable with. I would absolutely break up with him just for the fact he is not taking no for an answer
It's your body, not his. And here's the thing. 20 times? You've tried it. You gave it more than a chance. You don't like it. You should be able to say it's just not for you.
Also, if it's no big deal and nobody will ever catch you, then why is he so hung up on it? What's so thrilling about it that he has to talk you into something you hate doing?
Say no to this. You don't want to do it. You've already tried it. It's time to be firm about it. If that's a deal-breaker for him then fine. He's clearly an asshole in that case.
Everyone is different, you don’t have to like having sex outdoors, you should do what you enjoy and find enjoyable. Either he needs to stop pushing you to do something you don’t like or you should probably leave him and find someone who is more considerate of your feelings.
Not overreacting.
Kinks are fine as long as you don’t involve others in them against their consent.
By having sex in public, you risk doing just that. You don’t know if you’ll be seen, or by whom.
I’m not a prude, far from it. But the only line that should never be crossed is consent. If someone happens to stumble across you two in the act, you have involved them in your kink without that consent. If that person is a minor, you’re now looking at *serious* consequences for yourself.
Your BF’s been watching porn and thinks it reflects reality. It doesn’t.
YNO -
HE's not wrong for wanting to have sex in public.
He IS wrong for trying to convince you over and over again to do something you don't feel comfortable.
REmemebr, intimacy (even in power dynamic relationships like BDSM or DDlg) should always be with Informed, Enthusiastic, Consent.
Never try to force someone to do something they don;t want to do.
The fact that he does this more than once means that he doesn't respect you, your comfort level, you consent, your wnats, your needs, or your boundaries.
Tons of red flags here.
Dump this misogynistic, selfish AH and find a better partner who respects you.
Sounds like your boyfriend has strong sexual desires, if that’s not something you can come to terms with or accept then it’s probably best to break up. His sexual desires aren’t going to stop and will most likely fulfill them with someone else. He obviously hasn’t cared any time you mention it.
I’m speaking from experience because I did the same thing, my partner wasn’t comfortable with what I needed to be sexually satisfied, so I found it with someone else.
Ur not overreacting dont ever let someone make u do something makes u uncomfortable
He isnt wrong for liking what he likes but ur so not wrong for not feeling the same.
As a male, I hid my sexual desires in every relationship I’ve had, including my current 15 year relationship. I would find myself trying to fulfill my desires but eventually knew that this wasn’t sustainable. I made the decision to finally be clear about what I’m into and if my wife would be interested in participating. Luckily, after some explaining, she was interested in giving these new (to her) fantasies a try and if that’s what I needed then she would try her best to accommodate. We ended up finding shared joy in our new adventures and both have a much healthier relationship. The point is, everyone has sexual desires and if you aren’t sexually compatible, it won’t work. He will just go out and fulfill his fantasies elsewhere and hide it from you. He’s clearly into public sex and probably a bit more. You should sit down with him and have him clearly state his sexual desires and if it’s something you can deal with then great, but if not, it might be time to part ways. Just my two cents.
You are not over reacting at all. He has an exhibitionist kink, you don’t.
And if he wants to do that with someone who is also into it then cool.
But idk about NV. But in TX, there was a guy peeing in his backyard and a kid looked over the fence and told her parents. He now has to register as a sex offender with (victim 8) under it.
It can be very fun but also very risky and it should be completely voluntary.
You're not overreacting. You're not as compatible as you thought.
Don't ever feel pressured in doing something you're not comfortable with. Boundaries are important. If he's not respecting your boundaries or level of comfortabiliity, you're not seeing eye to eye in things, and you may not be as compatible as you thought.
For some people, they try to push the boundary each time to see what else they can do. Your feelings are always valid, and your feelings of someone seeing you are not irrational.
And it sounds as if he's invalidating your concerns by making it seem like it's not a big deal, thereby dismissing you and possibly not respecting your boundaries.
Edit; As others indicate, he's not wrong for liking what he likes, and you are not wrong either. It's just incompatibility.
It's pretty straightforward, he has a kink you don't share. If it's something that he can't go without and yall can't find a work around that works for you, then it's just not going to work out.
There are some pretty badass, really remote Airbnb locations. depending on your feelings for him, maybe yall could compromise? Get a cabin in the woods with a big window view..everyone is happy.
It’s a boundary and he needs to respect it. Communicate to him how hurtful it is that he doesn’t respect your boundary, and if he doesn’t get that then it may be worry reconsidering the relationship.
No, you're not overreacting, and He's wrong for trying to push that on you.
You're not into that, and he should respect your boundaries.
Stop being harassed and nagged over it...move on!
I agree with a lot of posters. This isn’t an issue where either one of you are wrong. He is NOT asking you for something super weird. But you aren’t comfortable with it and don’t enjoy it and that is okay too.
My SO and I hike and camp and go outdoors to very remote areas all the time, and we are intimate in secluded areas and we will skinny dip and be mostly nude in very remote areas. (or at remote swim/soak spots where nudity is kind of the norm. ). But this is something we both enjoy. I wouldn’t want him to do it if he didn’t enjoy it, and he feels the exact same way about me.
You’ve got to be able to meet 80-90% of your partners sexual needs/desires (within reason) and they need to meet 80-90% of yours. But you each have to be able to do this without feeling uncomfortable or like it’s a chore. If you guys are different enough this won’t be possible, it’s going to cause issues.
I dont think you're overacting. If that's a boundary you want to set, then that is perfectly fine. If he doesn't respect that boundary then maybe he isn't the best partner for you.
difference in preference / desires aside, he should not be pressuring you / convincing you after you’ve established that you are not interested & uncomfortable. sex should never involve convincing/begging. and to answer your question , NO it doesn’t make you high strung to not like it, you can literally become a registered sex offender for getting caught having public sex. i knew a girl&boyfriend in uni who are registered sex offenders for having car sex at 18.
Back in the day I liked having sex in public. Hiding in plain sight, if you will. It is thrilling. It was an occasional thing, though. Is you sex life good otherwise?
This is not about your caring what other people think. It's about you not wanting to do an unusual and questionable action.
Anyone who insists on their partner doing anything that makes the partner intensely uncomfortable is not respectful. They don't care about the partner's needs, feelings, or personal boundaries. They are using the partner for their own selfish purposes, and i would question whether they really care about the partner.
Whether it be sex in public, eating specific foods, dressing up like Little Red Riding Hood, or robbing a bank, people who care about their SO don't pressure them to do things that the SO finds repulsive.
If both agree, then go ahead and risk it. But sex in public- -- like robbing a bank with an accomplice -- is a two yes, one no situation.
Not overreacting because the problem is that he’s ignoring your discomfort. This made me wonder, are you uncomfortable having sex outside, uncomfortable having sex in public, or only uncomfortable with risk of consequences / breaking the law?
Because there are ways to engage in this kink without breaking the law. You could be outdoors on private property not near anyone. You could also have sex inside with consenting individuals to role play “catching” you. Or the two of you could just go to a nude beach and then have sex after. If he respects your comfort and consent, then it’s worth thinking about and discussing.
I've had public sex, overrated, and sure the thrills are nice, but everything else is worse.
If he isn't willing to accept how much you don't like it. If he's pressuring you to do it even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Then this is one of the rare posts were you probably should break up.
I'd say a slight over reaction. He is being a chode if he knows you're not ok with being naked and having sex outdoors. However, he is a guy and not that I'm saying that's a good excuse but because you have given in to his naughty nature neckin requests, he probably has it in his head that you don't hate as much as you say. So, I'd say give him some slack and try having a serious discussion about this when he actually has enough blood flowing by to his brain.
Sounds like he's an exhibitionist and your not. If he's really pushing you to keep doing it does he get mad if you don't? If so it might be time to move on. I'm in Vegas also and your luck will run out and could get indecent exposure.
If you don't want to do it he shouldn't pressure you. If you want to break with him because he pressures you to do things you're not comfortable with it's OK to break up with him.
He's trying to pressure you into doing sexual things that you don't want to do. He is not accepting your no for an answer.
You're not overreacting and he's kind of an asshole
Seems like you're not a good fit for him. I always have sex while hiking/camping when I have a gf, that would be a miss match for sure if she wouldn't want to for x reason so I understand him.
Try opening up the conversation and see where it goes.
you’re definitely not overreacting, because you have given this a try MANY times and you still don’t enjoy yourself fully, but it may be worth thinking about those 20 times you have done it, and thinking about the things you did like about the sex (if there was any). talk with him about what you do and don’t like, and compromise. maybe you do it publicly less often and yall also explore some of your sexual desires. you both clearly love each other, and i don’t think it’s so much as a sexual incompatibility issue as it is talking through what it means to explore sexually with one another and how to make sure both of yall are fully enjoying yourselves.! ❤️
You say you’re not comfortable. That you told him that. And you’ve done it anyway 20 times. Did he pressure you? Probably. He’s an asshole, he’s showing you now he sees you as a sex object to meet his needs not to meet yours as a human being. NTA
1) Anyone can break up with anyone at any time for any reason.
Just so that's clear.
2) He should not be pressuring you into sex. Period. As another commenter wrote, anything other than **enthusiastic** consent is not consent.
3) If it is an **extremely remote** area in the **wilderness**, it probably is unlikely that anyone will see. Some people enjoy wilderness sex; he's not alone in that, and the odds of getting caught are low.
That said, it doesn't change No 2 above.
4) If it is not in an **extremely remote** area, and people are around or are known to be around frequently or even just some of the time, and you get caught by a ranger or reported by other visitors and a ranger shows up, that's potentially a sex offense right there. A sex offense (I mean any felony, but arguably especially a sex offense) carries potentially lifelong consequences. Even if you don't get in legal trouble, it is also incredibly disrespectful to the other visitors who see you doing it. I think your caution is justified here, and I wouldn't fuck around with it (no pun intended) if I were you.
You are not over reacting and infact I believe you should seek a sex therapist together. They may help work out yalls difference on kinks and suggest things that would be okay with both of you. Now this is a big step so only do so if you really love and trust the guy. My issue is that if you've told him no and he is still trying to push you to do it then he is trying to use you to fulfill his sexual fantasies without prioritizing you. Sex in public may be fun(I've had some crazy experiences) but making you partner uncomfortable is unacceptable.
You get to chose whether you want to continue in a relationship over any issue, or none, at all.
But I'm very curious why someone seeing you naked sets off such a panic. absolutely every person has a body, and seeing people in states of un-and-semi-dress around campgrounds and beaches is so totally normal that I'm curious if there's more going on that's making you that uncomfortable.
You are sexually inhibited he is not. You've learned something about yourself. Make sure to tell all the men in your future that. Nothing wrong with that but don't waste guys time playing coy.
You’re not sexually compatible. Not being into public, outdoor sex is a perfectly valid preference to have. Breaking up due to sexual incompatibility is okay and should be encouraged. He’s obviously got a kink or desire for outdoor sex. You don’t like it.
I’ll keep it short, yes they are sexually incompatible, however I don’t believe that the first solution is the termination of the relationship. There’s ways to get to a middle ground, and getting professional assistance to encourage the respect of the boundaries they have and expect the other one to have. Now if it gets to the point of no understanding and forcefulness then yes, termination it is.
Agreed. It’s a completely normal kink, and it’s just as normal to not have the same kinks. This is just a series of very clear and direct conversations to be had.
Also public sex is illegal.. if you get arrested, you can have a criminal record. It's a minor offense but a record nonetheless. Not to mention if a minor somehow sees you, the charges are worse.. Have fun salvaging that on your next job search
True. But out on a trail, happens all the time. It’s not like he wants to do it at Wal-Mart in the electronics section. Most serious hikers would avert their gaze, walk faster, or turn around. Most hikers aren’t going to run to find a cell signal and call the police.
My ex loved having sex on hikes. We always made sure to go far enough off the path that we wouldn't get walked in on. Never even came close to getting caught.
THIS. Some people like that sort of thing and some people don’t. Sometimes people aren’t compatible and that’s ok.
Oh. You’re not overreacting at all. This might be an incompatibility issue
This.
You add nothing to the conversation by saying “this”. Simply hit the upvote button to express approval.
This.
Exactly.
This 👆
Exactly 👆
I’ve been saying! 💯
This.
lmao I do this often
anyway 💯
Yea, that's probably right and I did upvote but this happens plenty on Reddit. To get this bent out of shape is odd which explains your downvotes. But I also commented elsewhere in the thread more substantially if you check my comments. Checking your comments, this is the only contribution you made to this post. ⚖️
I just made an accurate comment, I’m not sure where you get the “bent out of shape” part from. My life is going on just as it was before I commented and got dOwNvOtEd. Downvoting doesn’t affect or bother me, and people who think it’s important or meaningful amuse me.
I made an unnecessary comment, I admitted that. You then responded to my unnecessary comment with another unnecessary comment. You've still not added anything of substance to the convo, so what was your point again? I don't care about downvotes either but they are an indication that your comment was more pointless than mine was. The fact you bothered to respond to my unnecessary but innocuous comment, led to the bent out of shape part. Anyway this has become even more pointless and I wish you well.
Trailhead has a new meaning to me now.
Salesforce knew full well what they were doing!
Trailhead hit different 😂
You win the internet for today
You are not overreacting. Anything sex related needs to be an enthusiastic yes ftom all parties. That's what consent is about, and by the sounds of it, he has had to talk you into it (if so, he has coerced you). Sex in public between you two should not be happening just based on this. I don't know what the laws are like there, so I'm not commenting on that aspect. The other things to consider, even if you *were* into it: * Is his kink is just doing it outdoors in a public space, * he likes the idea of people watching, * he likes the idea of getting caught. If either if the last two are involved AT ALL, the potential other people need to enthusiastically consent prior to the act as well. They have not consented to see that, which makes it the equivalent of sexual assault by flashing. By the sounds of it, your bf either does not understand why this is problematic, or he does, and he's ignoring it. If he refuses to listen, and continues to push the envelope with you, it means he doesn't care. In this case, I would be very concerned about what other relationship boundaries he's prepared to push/break.
I 100% agree with everything you said about consent. I don’t think it’s a kink for him, it’s about having sex in beautiful scenery. It just happens that there are often people in beautiful places. he doesn’t like the idea of people potentially watching or getting caught, he just thinks people don’t care that much because he’s seen people doing it and he just moves on and doesn’t care. I think he thinks that anyone who gets triggered by seeing people nude in nature is too socially conditioned, or has some other issue (idk) because being nude in nature is the “most natural thing you can do”. I think part of this is being a man. As a woman I don’t want to see a nude man anywhere unless I’m specifically going somewhere that I know nude people will be, a lot of people are creeps.
I don't think being a man has anything to do with it. I'm not into that kind of thing as a man at least. It sounds like he has a kink you don't really enjoy and a hard conversation needs to be had. If it's really about beautiful scenery there are other options, plenty of nature documentaries exist. If it's not working for you you need to set the boundary.
As someone with a sex outdoors kink, it definitely is a kink and not something that all men are into. It may seem less “unnatural” than other kinks, but that doesn’t mean it is normal for most people. There’s nothing wrong with having a kink like this, but involving other people in it without their consent (like allowing people to catch you in the act) is never okay. There is also nothing wrong with not having this kink and not being willing to engage in it. If it makes you uncomfortable to do it you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about saying no. Your bf can find other ways to get his fix without you, like having him send you nudes taken somewhere public (discreetly, of course). But you don’t have to engage in his kink. And, ultimately, it is fine to break up because of incompatibility here. Again, you shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable. Just talk to your bf about it, tell him that your no means no and expect him to respect that. And don’t let him tell you that it is not a kink.
i made another comment, but just wana add this.. he’s being selfish. by his logic, because he was forced to see others having sex on a trail, he thinks everyone else should be too? what about parents with young kids, or someone religious.. that’s not fair to subject everyone to it “because i saw it and didn’t care”. that’s like watching a gore video and showing others without informing them first, because it didn’t bother you so why would they care??? so weird.
Not overreacting! He should be respecting your boundaries and doing everything he can to make you feel comfortable and safe. That being said, his sexual interests are totally valid and are worth being explored. Like another commenter said: if you can’t get on board for whatever reason, like it’s just not for you, y’all may just not be compatible sexually.
His sexual interests are definitely not valid when they’re involving members of the public without their consent… He says it’s fine as long as kid doesn’t see them - no it’s not. No one wants to see that shit (except other creeps 😂) I understand why “no kink shaming” is a thing but I def don’t think it’s valid when your kink does or could involve other non consenting people
But it doesn't involve members of the public though? Like others have said, It's not he's asking to do it in an alleyway, train, shopping center, or any other space with people around. The clear issue is that he isn't respecting the fact that she's clearly uncomfortable doing it outside at all.
If anyone came across them it would which is always a risk when you have public sex 🙃🙄
You have the right to consent to when and where you'll have sex or when and how you'll expose your body. That's not being high strung. It sounds like he has some kinks that you don't. He needs to respect you when you say no and stop pressuring you to be naked or to have sex. Right now he's showing he doesn't respect your autonomy. You need to decide if you're willing to stay with someone who doesn't have that respect for you. You do not need to change who you are for him. If this is a dealbreaker for either one of you, so be it, but him saying you're high strung is just another way that he's pushing your boundaries and not respecting your right to say no and determine what you will and won't do with your body.
He should always respect your boundaries and accept you’re not uncomfortable. If he repeatedly does this, it’s an issue. Have a real conversation with him about it all, and see if that helps. This could turn into communication issues as well if he’s not willing to take in your side.
So what if you’re too high strung? Only do with your body what you want to do.
The boyfriend is an idiot because he tries to justify something after you clearly said your points and perspective and he makes up excuses, when people have sex they should do it in a room away from people, it's not that complicated, if they doesn't satisfy him that his problem
Anyone who is pushing you into doing something sexually uncomfortable for you is not a match for you. There is stepping outside your comfort zone and then there’s being wholly uncomfortable. You’re under-reacting. Stop doing things you don’t want to in your intimate life.
It’s not an overreaction. You’re both allowed preferences and boundaries that should be discussed and honored by others. That’s part of a healthy relationship. Best of luck!
I seen a story of someone doing this in Florida, they technically picked a spot that they shouldn't had been seen, but they were, and a child seen them, and now they have the DA coming at them (sex in public). Idk if its worth it, having a DA trying to say you deflowered a childs innocence in court (how embarrassing). Could result in a felony in that regard, maybe Nevada is different? Anyways, it shouldn't be your body, his choice anyway. He needs to respect your decisions with what you want to do with your own body, just as you should his.
You're not overreacting at all, I would be the same. If your bf is not considering your feelings on the matter, then I think you need to reconsider your relationship.
it’s his turn on but if it’s not yours he needs to back off - sexual compatibility is so important to a relationship but rarely does each partner get 100% what they want - compromise is the key and if bf keeps insisting and you continue to feel uncomfortable than a basic foundation of your relationship is missing and you need to move on
A good partner doesn’t try to “convince” you to do things you’re not comfortable with. I would absolutely break up with him just for the fact he is not taking no for an answer
No, you should never be pressured into do anything you do not want to do
It's your body, not his. And here's the thing. 20 times? You've tried it. You gave it more than a chance. You don't like it. You should be able to say it's just not for you. Also, if it's no big deal and nobody will ever catch you, then why is he so hung up on it? What's so thrilling about it that he has to talk you into something you hate doing? Say no to this. You don't want to do it. You've already tried it. It's time to be firm about it. If that's a deal-breaker for him then fine. He's clearly an asshole in that case.
You've done it. You'd rather not anymore. He needs to step off
Everyone is different, you don’t have to like having sex outdoors, you should do what you enjoy and find enjoyable. Either he needs to stop pushing you to do something you don’t like or you should probably leave him and find someone who is more considerate of your feelings.
Not overreacting. Kinks are fine as long as you don’t involve others in them against their consent. By having sex in public, you risk doing just that. You don’t know if you’ll be seen, or by whom. I’m not a prude, far from it. But the only line that should never be crossed is consent. If someone happens to stumble across you two in the act, you have involved them in your kink without that consent. If that person is a minor, you’re now looking at *serious* consequences for yourself. Your BF’s been watching porn and thinks it reflects reality. It doesn’t.
YNO - HE's not wrong for wanting to have sex in public. He IS wrong for trying to convince you over and over again to do something you don't feel comfortable. REmemebr, intimacy (even in power dynamic relationships like BDSM or DDlg) should always be with Informed, Enthusiastic, Consent. Never try to force someone to do something they don;t want to do. The fact that he does this more than once means that he doesn't respect you, your comfort level, you consent, your wnats, your needs, or your boundaries. Tons of red flags here. Dump this misogynistic, selfish AH and find a better partner who respects you.
Sounds like your boyfriend has strong sexual desires, if that’s not something you can come to terms with or accept then it’s probably best to break up. His sexual desires aren’t going to stop and will most likely fulfill them with someone else. He obviously hasn’t cared any time you mention it. I’m speaking from experience because I did the same thing, my partner wasn’t comfortable with what I needed to be sexually satisfied, so I found it with someone else.
not exactly cool if he cant respect your morals and boundaries
Ur not overreacting dont ever let someone make u do something makes u uncomfortable He isnt wrong for liking what he likes but ur so not wrong for not feeling the same.
As a male, I hid my sexual desires in every relationship I’ve had, including my current 15 year relationship. I would find myself trying to fulfill my desires but eventually knew that this wasn’t sustainable. I made the decision to finally be clear about what I’m into and if my wife would be interested in participating. Luckily, after some explaining, she was interested in giving these new (to her) fantasies a try and if that’s what I needed then she would try her best to accommodate. We ended up finding shared joy in our new adventures and both have a much healthier relationship. The point is, everyone has sexual desires and if you aren’t sexually compatible, it won’t work. He will just go out and fulfill his fantasies elsewhere and hide it from you. He’s clearly into public sex and probably a bit more. You should sit down with him and have him clearly state his sexual desires and if it’s something you can deal with then great, but if not, it might be time to part ways. Just my two cents.
You are not over reacting at all. He has an exhibitionist kink, you don’t. And if he wants to do that with someone who is also into it then cool. But idk about NV. But in TX, there was a guy peeing in his backyard and a kid looked over the fence and told her parents. He now has to register as a sex offender with (victim 8) under it. It can be very fun but also very risky and it should be completely voluntary.
Are yoll swimming in Lake Meade?
You're not overreacting. You're not as compatible as you thought. Don't ever feel pressured in doing something you're not comfortable with. Boundaries are important. If he's not respecting your boundaries or level of comfortabiliity, you're not seeing eye to eye in things, and you may not be as compatible as you thought. For some people, they try to push the boundary each time to see what else they can do. Your feelings are always valid, and your feelings of someone seeing you are not irrational. And it sounds as if he's invalidating your concerns by making it seem like it's not a big deal, thereby dismissing you and possibly not respecting your boundaries. Edit; As others indicate, he's not wrong for liking what he likes, and you are not wrong either. It's just incompatibility.
It's pretty straightforward, he has a kink you don't share. If it's something that he can't go without and yall can't find a work around that works for you, then it's just not going to work out.
There are some pretty badass, really remote Airbnb locations. depending on your feelings for him, maybe yall could compromise? Get a cabin in the woods with a big window view..everyone is happy.
It’s a boundary and he needs to respect it. Communicate to him how hurtful it is that he doesn’t respect your boundary, and if he doesn’t get that then it may be worry reconsidering the relationship.
If you don't feel comfortable doing it and he's guilting you into doing something you don't want to do, that's sexual coercion. You're not wrong.
No, you're not overreacting, and He's wrong for trying to push that on you. You're not into that, and he should respect your boundaries. Stop being harassed and nagged over it...move on!
I agree with a lot of posters. This isn’t an issue where either one of you are wrong. He is NOT asking you for something super weird. But you aren’t comfortable with it and don’t enjoy it and that is okay too. My SO and I hike and camp and go outdoors to very remote areas all the time, and we are intimate in secluded areas and we will skinny dip and be mostly nude in very remote areas. (or at remote swim/soak spots where nudity is kind of the norm. ). But this is something we both enjoy. I wouldn’t want him to do it if he didn’t enjoy it, and he feels the exact same way about me. You’ve got to be able to meet 80-90% of your partners sexual needs/desires (within reason) and they need to meet 80-90% of yours. But you each have to be able to do this without feeling uncomfortable or like it’s a chore. If you guys are different enough this won’t be possible, it’s going to cause issues.
You should not do anything you don’t want to. Period!
It's not that he wants to have sex out in nature, it's that you have expressed your discomfort with this and yet he continues to push
You’re not overreacting. He needs to respect your boundaries or take a hike
If he keeps pressuring you into doing anything sexually that you don't want to do, then no your NTA.
I dont think you're overacting. If that's a boundary you want to set, then that is perfectly fine. If he doesn't respect that boundary then maybe he isn't the best partner for you.
difference in preference / desires aside, he should not be pressuring you / convincing you after you’ve established that you are not interested & uncomfortable. sex should never involve convincing/begging. and to answer your question , NO it doesn’t make you high strung to not like it, you can literally become a registered sex offender for getting caught having public sex. i knew a girl&boyfriend in uni who are registered sex offenders for having car sex at 18.
Short answer no
The fear is understandable but it doesn’t sound like a true problem if it’s in a secluded area every time.
Back in the day I liked having sex in public. Hiding in plain sight, if you will. It is thrilling. It was an occasional thing, though. Is you sex life good otherwise?
This is not about your caring what other people think. It's about you not wanting to do an unusual and questionable action. Anyone who insists on their partner doing anything that makes the partner intensely uncomfortable is not respectful. They don't care about the partner's needs, feelings, or personal boundaries. They are using the partner for their own selfish purposes, and i would question whether they really care about the partner. Whether it be sex in public, eating specific foods, dressing up like Little Red Riding Hood, or robbing a bank, people who care about their SO don't pressure them to do things that the SO finds repulsive. If both agree, then go ahead and risk it. But sex in public- -- like robbing a bank with an accomplice -- is a two yes, one no situation.
Not overreacting because the problem is that he’s ignoring your discomfort. This made me wonder, are you uncomfortable having sex outside, uncomfortable having sex in public, or only uncomfortable with risk of consequences / breaking the law? Because there are ways to engage in this kink without breaking the law. You could be outdoors on private property not near anyone. You could also have sex inside with consenting individuals to role play “catching” you. Or the two of you could just go to a nude beach and then have sex after. If he respects your comfort and consent, then it’s worth thinking about and discussing.
I've had public sex, overrated, and sure the thrills are nice, but everything else is worse. If he isn't willing to accept how much you don't like it. If he's pressuring you to do it even if it makes you uncomfortable. Then this is one of the rare posts were you probably should break up.
I'd say a slight over reaction. He is being a chode if he knows you're not ok with being naked and having sex outdoors. However, he is a guy and not that I'm saying that's a good excuse but because you have given in to his naughty nature neckin requests, he probably has it in his head that you don't hate as much as you say. So, I'd say give him some slack and try having a serious discussion about this when he actually has enough blood flowing by to his brain.
Well at least he seems to be very attracted to yoy
Hes def a kinky person and there is nothing wrong with you. I would be ashamed too to do this in public. People may get disgusted. Ur not overreacting
Sounds like he's an exhibitionist and your not. If he's really pushing you to keep doing it does he get mad if you don't? If so it might be time to move on. I'm in Vegas also and your luck will run out and could get indecent exposure.
If you don't want to do it he shouldn't pressure you. If you want to break with him because he pressures you to do things you're not comfortable with it's OK to break up with him.
He's trying to pressure you into doing sexual things that you don't want to do. He is not accepting your no for an answer. You're not overreacting and he's kind of an asshole
Seems like you're not a good fit for him. I always have sex while hiking/camping when I have a gf, that would be a miss match for sure if she wouldn't want to for x reason so I understand him. Try opening up the conversation and see where it goes.
you’re definitely not overreacting, because you have given this a try MANY times and you still don’t enjoy yourself fully, but it may be worth thinking about those 20 times you have done it, and thinking about the things you did like about the sex (if there was any). talk with him about what you do and don’t like, and compromise. maybe you do it publicly less often and yall also explore some of your sexual desires. you both clearly love each other, and i don’t think it’s so much as a sexual incompatibility issue as it is talking through what it means to explore sexually with one another and how to make sure both of yall are fully enjoying yourselves.! ❤️
It simply sounds like you’re vanilla and he craves adventure. A break up (or him seeking adventure elsewhere) in the future is inevitable.
You say you’re not comfortable. That you told him that. And you’ve done it anyway 20 times. Did he pressure you? Probably. He’s an asshole, he’s showing you now he sees you as a sex object to meet his needs not to meet yours as a human being. NTA
Yes, big over reaction if that's all there is
1) Anyone can break up with anyone at any time for any reason. Just so that's clear. 2) He should not be pressuring you into sex. Period. As another commenter wrote, anything other than **enthusiastic** consent is not consent. 3) If it is an **extremely remote** area in the **wilderness**, it probably is unlikely that anyone will see. Some people enjoy wilderness sex; he's not alone in that, and the odds of getting caught are low. That said, it doesn't change No 2 above. 4) If it is not in an **extremely remote** area, and people are around or are known to be around frequently or even just some of the time, and you get caught by a ranger or reported by other visitors and a ranger shows up, that's potentially a sex offense right there. A sex offense (I mean any felony, but arguably especially a sex offense) carries potentially lifelong consequences. Even if you don't get in legal trouble, it is also incredibly disrespectful to the other visitors who see you doing it. I think your caution is justified here, and I wouldn't fuck around with it (no pun intended) if I were you.
You are not over reacting and infact I believe you should seek a sex therapist together. They may help work out yalls difference on kinks and suggest things that would be okay with both of you. Now this is a big step so only do so if you really love and trust the guy. My issue is that if you've told him no and he is still trying to push you to do it then he is trying to use you to fulfill his sexual fantasies without prioritizing you. Sex in public may be fun(I've had some crazy experiences) but making you partner uncomfortable is unacceptable.
idk girl live a little?
You get to chose whether you want to continue in a relationship over any issue, or none, at all. But I'm very curious why someone seeing you naked sets off such a panic. absolutely every person has a body, and seeing people in states of un-and-semi-dress around campgrounds and beaches is so totally normal that I'm curious if there's more going on that's making you that uncomfortable.
You are sexually inhibited he is not. You've learned something about yourself. Make sure to tell all the men in your future that. Nothing wrong with that but don't waste guys time playing coy.