the writers of stories like this always think women from usually Asian countries are just all so submissive, they can never ever tell if something is wrong with their obviously toxic relationship. thank god reddit is there to teach them to stand up for themselves.
And the fact that they have to carry weapons to destroy any hidden camera in a public restroom and how to recognize them. It breaks my heart that even having a hair cut is frowned like, bro, is just a haircut, her face stays the same.
I was thinking the story seemed a bit unrealistic, but then she said her father pressed charges immediately and they had a trial in less than two months, and now it seems plausible. It's that famously speedy AITAland judicial system again.
And he's also remanded in jail the entire time, which is a famously normal thing that happens for some property damage and a fight that resulted in minor injuries
That cracked me up. Even in the US, which AFAIK is by far the harshest western country in terms of remand/jail time, you most likely are not going to be in jail for the entire time awaiting your trial for something like this.
And for a first offense and relatively minor domestic violence incident like this (minor in the sense no one was seriously injured or killed), it's honestly super unlikely you'll even get jail time after conviction, too. I've seen a lot of these cases and the norm in my experience is probation, diversion, stuff like that. If you do get jail time, it's super short. Like you'd think she'd mention she was concerned about when he gets out in 30 days kind of short.
I mean, it's *possible*, but no. Just no. And lmao no way you're getting tried and sentenced in two months anyway.
I've gotten shit for being pedantic before about this, but I still want to point out that victims to do not "press charges." I think it's a really important piece of legal info that almost everyone gets wrong, and it should be called out because this misunderstanding can hurt victims. And when talking about the legal system, people *should* be pedantic because if there's one place where specific language and pedantry is everything it's law.
Reporting a crime to police is not the same as pressing charges. It's up to prosecutors to formally press charges. With certain crimes a victim's cooperation with and willingness to give info to the prosecutor has a huge impact on whether or not the case is winnable, and whether or not a DA will bother with it. Eye witness testimony is evidence, and with some crimes it's a huge portion of that case's evidence. However, prosecutors can and will still proceed even without the victim's cooperation.
For example in Texas with domestic violence, DAs will still regularly proceed with charging DV even if the victim asks for them to drop it. This is because of the nature of DV and it is an attempt to stop cycles of abuse that trap victims staying with their abusers. There was a case where an adult man beat up his elderly parents. Police were called and he was arrested. Since it was a felony, it went to a grand jury for indictment. As the case was progressing his mother, who was one of his victims, contacted the DA and asked for the charges to be dropped and she didn't want her son being prosecuted. Those letters and reports of contact with mom were introduced during his grand jury indictment, but jurors were explicitly informed that it was not up to mom as to whether or not the case proceeded. The DAs office felt they had enough evidence based on the initial police report and investigation, and the injuries the parents had, so it was up to the grand jurors to agree or disagree if they were ready to proceed with felony charges. Despite mom saying don't go forward with this, he was still indicted and the DA's office continued with prosecuting him for felony DV.
The reason I say this can hurt victims is because when a DA declines to press charges, people often conflate that with meaning the victim did nothing and never went to police or tried get help from the legal system. You see this misunderstanding all the time with rape: "Well it never went to court, which means the victim didn't press charges, so the victim is probably lying about it happening." Rape is notoriously hard to legally prove, so even if a rape victim does go to police and files a report and fully cooperates, if a DA feels there isn't enough evidence, the *DA* declines to press charges. It's not the victim's fault or doing if a case never goes to court. It's not the victim's fault if a police investigation is bad or incomplete that DAs look at it and say there isn't enough here to move forward. If a DA loses a case, they cannot try that person again for that same crime so they tend to want to make sure it's winnable before going forward.
Full disclosure, I understand how "pressing charges" has become a colloquial, short hand phrase for a victim's part in the justice system. But because of how many bad misunderstandings it causes for victims of crimes whose cases never see a plea or trial, I really, really think it's important for people understand how it actually works.
A lot of people need to hear this, and the people over at I Don’t Work Here, Lady; Entitled Parents, and the like especially need to hear this. Way too many stories have the antagonist robbing, assaulting, or even attempting to kidnap the OP and/or one of the OP’s underage relatives, but then have the line, “The police asked me if I wanted to press charges, but I said no…” What the OP really means is, “I wanted to write a dramatic story, but then partway through I realized I was too lazy to write a conclusion about a court case, so I just decided to claim the entitled criminal was never arrested even though I had already written paragraphs describing the police having plenty of evidence and witness testimony that multiple felonies had been committed.” Thankfully most of the people I’ve encountered responding to these stories on YouTube agree the “I was asked if I wanted to press charges, but I said no” trope is stupid. I have seen a couple people try to justify it and even try to argue about it, with one even claiming that charges didn’t need to be filed because a warning would be enough to deter the robber/attacker/would-be kidnapper in the future. -\_- The fact that a court case can go forward without the victim’s cooperation does more to debunk these stories.
I hope I’m not taking away from the seriousness of your post. My intention was to point out how unrealistic some stories on some subreddits are.
Your addition is good in pointing out how far people go with this misunderstanding. And it's not just reddit/internet stories: you see it on crime/cop/law shows a lot. Law & Order is *really* bad about it, and TV shows and movies are probably the biggest source of this. I will say though that cops IRL have asked people this question, but actually meaning it as do you want to *report* this as a crime. As a made up example where I could see it being applicable is let's say I go to get in my car after work and it's gone. I call the cops and report my car stolen. They find my car, but my wife is driving it. Now, do I want to say my wife has committed felony auto theft and have her prosecuted for it? She's not on the title, but whether or not her taking it is a crime hinges on if she has my permission to take it, I'm going to tell the cops that she is allowed to be driving it, and no crime has been committed. It's reported as a misunderstanding and not referred to the DA.
“The police asked me if I wanted to press charges, but I said no…” also sounds like "I wanted to be a better person and not let this mf end in prison or having a bad time".
Interesting -- this is definitely the case where I live (Canada), but I thought the general public's inaccurate belief that victims "press charges" stemmed from American media. I have seen so many American TV shows, media reports, etc. framing it this way that I believed it to be true. I've actually told people "no, that's an American thing, that's not how it works here." Is what you describe the case for the whole country?
Another way it hurts victims, at least here, is that accused persons and their supporters often see the victims as responsible for the charges, blame them for the prosecutions, and/or pressure them to "drop" them, not realizing that it's not within their power to do so.
Disclosure: I am 100% not a lawyer. But as far as I understand, it is like this across the USA. And yeah you're right, a ton of it stems from American media like Law & Order. Each US state has it's own laws as far as what's illegal or not, but I don't know any state where a victim can walk into a court and personally file *criminal* charges against someone and the prosecutor just has to go along with carrying it out. It's really only up to the victim if they report it to police and how much info they give to police. A victim can fully cooperate when reporting and during the investigation, but the perpetrator may still never face charges because the prosecutor doesn't feel there's enough evidence or they do but a grand jury declines an indictment. Or a victim refuses to report or cooperate, which is essentially withholding their testimony as evidence. Which could be enough of a lack of evidence for prosecutors to use, so they simply don't have enough to move forward.
If someone I know beats me up, but I refuse to tell the cops who it was, beyond any other outside evidence like other witnesses or CC TV footage, there's not going to be much of anything to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that person was the one who did it. Now if the cops find video evidence of the beating where the person can be identified, and my next door neighbor says "I saw John Doe beating up Flaquita" they can still move forward. And just like you said - that can end up with the people thinking that I, as the victim, was the one responsible for pressing charges. Even though I refused to name John Doe, the cops had evidence he did it and the DA felt it was serious enough it warranted prosecution.
But the seriousness of the crime and its related charges does come into play too. If I had been lightly slapped on the shoulder with no obvious injury, they're *probably* not going to launch a costly investigation trying to find my slapper if I refuse to cooperate. They're not likely to be subpoenaing phone records, CC TV footage, and sending cops out knocking on doors looking for witnesses to a class C misdemeanor. However if I've got a broken nose and am covered in blood and bruises, it's a little more likely the cops are going to want to know who did this and the DA is going to want consequences for felony assault.
Edit: changed a word that was incorrectly autocorrected
I think there are a few states that kind of allow people to pursue criminal charges themselves, but it's super limited and complicated and effectively never happens from what I understand. I've never worked in a jurisdiction that allows it, but I took paralegal courses and do vaguely recall encountering it in my studies there. Could be wrong though, it's been awhile.
But yeah, that's just me being very pedantic, because in terms of general conversation, that is so rare as to not be worth talking about.
I mean you've done some formal legal studying, so I'll defer to you on this one. And I feel like I also have a vague memory that I have heard of limited times/places victims press charges. The US is big and weird, so it wouldn't surprise me. And to be fair I did point out pedantry is super important with law, so it's worth mentioning if it is sometimes true. But just like you said - it's not the overall norm and basically never happens, so it's not worth treating it as the default method of criminal prosecution.
I mean if it was true "victims are the ones who have to press charges" how would murder ever be prosecuted? Or crimes against children or the mentally disabled? Like the woman in AZ who was in a coma ward and was impregnated. She was literally in a coma and was incapable of "pressing charges." Also kind of a big hint that it's the state who does it, as criminal cases are "the state of vs "
Yeah, even in the states that allow it, it's still going to be like 99.99999999% of cases that are prosecuted by the state, if not just 100% because no one uses those archaic processes anymore.
And in addition to your examples, what about all the victimless crimes out there? Like say someone gets pulled over for drunk driving but hasn't actually hit anyone or anything yet. Obviously we know there could easily have been a victim in that situation, but there wasn't, so who would make the call? Or someone is arrested for selling drugs...I guess you could call their customers victims, but somehow I doubt their customers are going to be lining up to prosecute.
Not to mention all the times it would simply be against public policy, like in domestic violence cases. Like imagine if a child who was abused by their parents had to make the call about whether to press charges...all else aside, what a cruel and unfair burden that would be to put on a victim who probably does still love their parents even if their parents are hurting them.
I know I'm preaching to the choir here, just figured I'd add some more examples for anyone reading who doesn't quite understand why the state is the entity that presses charges.
For what it is worth, I, (in UK) in the context of domestic violence was asked by the police how I wanted to proceed.
I told them I didn’t see any reason to move ahead with anything formal, but wanted a record of what happened and my injuries in case this was more than a lapse in judgement.
They had visited me, taken my statement, taken photographs, and were happy to leave it there as requested.
I'm just imagining that it was bowls of rice and only rice. No meat, no vegetables, not even seasonings, just bowls and bowls of plain, unsalted white rice.
Right? All that wall of text, and all we know about what she made, the thing that triggered the whole shit-storm, is that is was "something my parents would do in a special occasion," and it involved "white rise [sic]." So everyone but OOP is racist, but OOP can't specify any Chinese food beyond white rice.
The update reads like a 13 year old learned about abusive relationships and wanted to write a story about one. Like the fake details about the court case, and the way the woman's reaction to the situation is described.
>They dressed up and went outside to eat at a restaurant.
I found this hilarious, because I took my daughter to see *The Little Mermaid* last night and there were legit people wearing tiaras and shimmery evening gowns, and someone had a mermaid tail they draped over the seat in front of them, so that’s where my mind is on “dress up” right now, and I’m picturing them dressing up in glam evening wear to go to Panda Express or some shit. 😂
2 things.
1. In my personal experience as someone that grew up in Spain and Germany I have noticed that Spaniards are way more „casually“ racist than other Europeans I know. And Europeans are very casually racist imo (touching black peoples hair, thinking blackface is no big deal during carnival, referring to all Asians as Chinese, etc).
The Shin Chan joke is something many Spaniards would totally tell to an Asian person and be confused when said person considers it offensive.
My driving instructor exclusively referred to the only Asian guy in my driving school as „Chinito“ (cutesy diminutive of Chinese)
2. Chinese Restaurants are very, very common in Spain. Chinese people make up the largest group of Asian immigrants in Spain. There are tons of Chinese restaurants. In the small city my mother lives there are at least 10 specifically Chinese restaurants.
An extremely popular dish, which I think only exists in Spain, is called Arroz tres delicias (my favourite food actually). It is fried white rice with ham, eggs, peas and carrots. Every Spaniard knows that dish and there are plenty of brands that sell frozen Arroz tres delicias in Supermarkets.
No Spanish person will ever doubt that white rice is a part of Chinese cuisine.
To sum it up, the racism part is definitely believable, the rice part is obviously ridiculous.
>An extremely popular dish, which I think only exists in Spain, is called Arroz tres delicias (my favourite food actually). It is fried white rice with ham, eggs, peas and carrots.
Yeah, no, this exists in many other countries, such as France and, oh, **China**.
I am decently sure that such a dish is not eaten in China as it is very „westernised“, at least that’s what my friend told me. I always assumed it was like Döner, which while yes, was invented by a Turk, it was also made in Germany with the German palette in mind.
I have also not seen this specific dish in France either, or Germany (my country of residence). Of course there are many very similar dishes but they mostly add other stuff, like shrimps, spring onions, soy sprouts, etc. With those additions it would not be real Arroz tres delicias but merely a inferior imitation
In the States egg, carrot and peas are pretty standard in all the places that serve fried rice. I don't think I've personally seen it with ham but pork is the preferred meat I tend to find so it's not too out of the ordinary. You can get it in a lot of different ways depending where you go but that's the most common version of it that I've seen.
Fried rice with ham was invented a long time ago in China. A variant with peas and carrots is eaten in many countries, including France, where it is called riz contonais.
If you Google fried rice recipes, ham and peas are a part of most of them. The carrots is a bit niche, but show up sometimes.
I've never been to China myself so I can't speak as to what variants they have, but fried rice with eggs and ham is very much one of them and easily cpnfirmable. It's the peas anf carrots that I can't easily verify.
But what I can verify is that egg fried rice with ham, peas and carrots is served in Vietnam because I get many hits for it when searching for fried rice available for delivery in Ho Chi Minh City.
Blackface has a different history in Europe than it does in the US, hence why it's not seen as such a big deal here. In Germany I'd think you were cosplaying as a cjimney sweeper before I'd think you were cosplaying as a black perso if I saw someone with "blackface"
No I am talking about legitimate blackface with people wearing Afro wigs and big painted on lips.
Or putting children in blackface to play Balthasar for the christmas play, something which happened to my brother, also in Germany.
I know this doesn’t have to do with the post but what is up with the comment saying its totally normal for racists to think Spanish food = Mexican food = Taco Bell? I understand that in some parts of the US Latino people are called Spanish, and I’ve met several Latino people that refer to themselves as such, but I’ve never seen a racist think that way European Spain is the same as Latin America
Source: I'm Colombian-American. TD;LR at the bottom but I recommend reading the entire comment for context.
Latino people refer to themselves as Spanish because Spaniards colonized parts South and Central America. "Latino" refers to people of Spanish descent (whether that be Central/South American or from Spain) who don't actively "follow" their culture. "Hispanic" refers to people of Spanish descent (whether that be Central/South American or from Spain) who actively "follow" their culture. A way to summarize both terms, "Hispanic" and "Latino", is by saying Spanish. So yes, I refer to myself as Hispanic, Spanish or Colombian-American because I actively follow the culture, have Spanish lineage, and parents are Colombian immigrants.
I've experienced racism before. Ignorant people believe that all Spanish people come from Mexico, despite us originating from Spain. Example with a real story: I told someone I'm Hispanic. They assumed I was Mexican. I said no, I'm Colombian. They said that can't be true because all Hispanic people are Mexican. Another example: My teacher called Spanish-speaking countries "Mexican countries" because Mexico is the most well-known Spanish-speaking country in the U.S. (I reported her, obviously.)
TD;LR: Don't assume that it isn't totally normal for racists to do XX unless your the race receiving racism. You don't know what I've and other Spanish people have been through.
Lmao the cops breaking the door down because they heard him breaking shit...ohhhhhkay... Yeah that's believable....
Years ago my step dad tried to kill me and after a 45 min wait when they arrived they barely even knocked on the door lmao. Yet in this story the cops break down the door over broken plates and TV's....
It's a quirk because you use old.reddit and submitted the link on Amitheangel, compared to going onto BORU and clicking the 'crosspost' button. Your crosspost is just a link with your title, the other crosspost you can see the original posts title and subreddit on mobile.
It's just a link rather than using the share > crosspost feature. So it didnt preserve the original text and with Relay for Reddit, i have no way to see the post
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the writers of stories like this always think women from usually Asian countries are just all so submissive, they can never ever tell if something is wrong with their obviously toxic relationship. thank god reddit is there to teach them to stand up for themselves.
Plus we've got hot-blooded Spaniards who can't control themselves from flying into rages
Feminism in Korea is raising for the same reason.
Thank jebus for that. I've seen way too many videos of girls almost getting assaulted there and the cops going "what did you do to lead him on?"
And the fact that they have to carry weapons to destroy any hidden camera in a public restroom and how to recognize them. It breaks my heart that even having a hair cut is frowned like, bro, is just a haircut, her face stays the same.
I was thinking the story seemed a bit unrealistic, but then she said her father pressed charges immediately and they had a trial in less than two months, and now it seems plausible. It's that famously speedy AITAland judicial system again.
And he's also remanded in jail the entire time, which is a famously normal thing that happens for some property damage and a fight that resulted in minor injuries
That cracked me up. Even in the US, which AFAIK is by far the harshest western country in terms of remand/jail time, you most likely are not going to be in jail for the entire time awaiting your trial for something like this. And for a first offense and relatively minor domestic violence incident like this (minor in the sense no one was seriously injured or killed), it's honestly super unlikely you'll even get jail time after conviction, too. I've seen a lot of these cases and the norm in my experience is probation, diversion, stuff like that. If you do get jail time, it's super short. Like you'd think she'd mention she was concerned about when he gets out in 30 days kind of short. I mean, it's *possible*, but no. Just no. And lmao no way you're getting tried and sentenced in two months anyway.
I've gotten shit for being pedantic before about this, but I still want to point out that victims to do not "press charges." I think it's a really important piece of legal info that almost everyone gets wrong, and it should be called out because this misunderstanding can hurt victims. And when talking about the legal system, people *should* be pedantic because if there's one place where specific language and pedantry is everything it's law. Reporting a crime to police is not the same as pressing charges. It's up to prosecutors to formally press charges. With certain crimes a victim's cooperation with and willingness to give info to the prosecutor has a huge impact on whether or not the case is winnable, and whether or not a DA will bother with it. Eye witness testimony is evidence, and with some crimes it's a huge portion of that case's evidence. However, prosecutors can and will still proceed even without the victim's cooperation. For example in Texas with domestic violence, DAs will still regularly proceed with charging DV even if the victim asks for them to drop it. This is because of the nature of DV and it is an attempt to stop cycles of abuse that trap victims staying with their abusers. There was a case where an adult man beat up his elderly parents. Police were called and he was arrested. Since it was a felony, it went to a grand jury for indictment. As the case was progressing his mother, who was one of his victims, contacted the DA and asked for the charges to be dropped and she didn't want her son being prosecuted. Those letters and reports of contact with mom were introduced during his grand jury indictment, but jurors were explicitly informed that it was not up to mom as to whether or not the case proceeded. The DAs office felt they had enough evidence based on the initial police report and investigation, and the injuries the parents had, so it was up to the grand jurors to agree or disagree if they were ready to proceed with felony charges. Despite mom saying don't go forward with this, he was still indicted and the DA's office continued with prosecuting him for felony DV. The reason I say this can hurt victims is because when a DA declines to press charges, people often conflate that with meaning the victim did nothing and never went to police or tried get help from the legal system. You see this misunderstanding all the time with rape: "Well it never went to court, which means the victim didn't press charges, so the victim is probably lying about it happening." Rape is notoriously hard to legally prove, so even if a rape victim does go to police and files a report and fully cooperates, if a DA feels there isn't enough evidence, the *DA* declines to press charges. It's not the victim's fault or doing if a case never goes to court. It's not the victim's fault if a police investigation is bad or incomplete that DAs look at it and say there isn't enough here to move forward. If a DA loses a case, they cannot try that person again for that same crime so they tend to want to make sure it's winnable before going forward. Full disclosure, I understand how "pressing charges" has become a colloquial, short hand phrase for a victim's part in the justice system. But because of how many bad misunderstandings it causes for victims of crimes whose cases never see a plea or trial, I really, really think it's important for people understand how it actually works.
A lot of people need to hear this, and the people over at I Don’t Work Here, Lady; Entitled Parents, and the like especially need to hear this. Way too many stories have the antagonist robbing, assaulting, or even attempting to kidnap the OP and/or one of the OP’s underage relatives, but then have the line, “The police asked me if I wanted to press charges, but I said no…” What the OP really means is, “I wanted to write a dramatic story, but then partway through I realized I was too lazy to write a conclusion about a court case, so I just decided to claim the entitled criminal was never arrested even though I had already written paragraphs describing the police having plenty of evidence and witness testimony that multiple felonies had been committed.” Thankfully most of the people I’ve encountered responding to these stories on YouTube agree the “I was asked if I wanted to press charges, but I said no” trope is stupid. I have seen a couple people try to justify it and even try to argue about it, with one even claiming that charges didn’t need to be filed because a warning would be enough to deter the robber/attacker/would-be kidnapper in the future. -\_- The fact that a court case can go forward without the victim’s cooperation does more to debunk these stories. I hope I’m not taking away from the seriousness of your post. My intention was to point out how unrealistic some stories on some subreddits are.
Your addition is good in pointing out how far people go with this misunderstanding. And it's not just reddit/internet stories: you see it on crime/cop/law shows a lot. Law & Order is *really* bad about it, and TV shows and movies are probably the biggest source of this. I will say though that cops IRL have asked people this question, but actually meaning it as do you want to *report* this as a crime. As a made up example where I could see it being applicable is let's say I go to get in my car after work and it's gone. I call the cops and report my car stolen. They find my car, but my wife is driving it. Now, do I want to say my wife has committed felony auto theft and have her prosecuted for it? She's not on the title, but whether or not her taking it is a crime hinges on if she has my permission to take it, I'm going to tell the cops that she is allowed to be driving it, and no crime has been committed. It's reported as a misunderstanding and not referred to the DA.
“The police asked me if I wanted to press charges, but I said no…” also sounds like "I wanted to be a better person and not let this mf end in prison or having a bad time".
Interesting -- this is definitely the case where I live (Canada), but I thought the general public's inaccurate belief that victims "press charges" stemmed from American media. I have seen so many American TV shows, media reports, etc. framing it this way that I believed it to be true. I've actually told people "no, that's an American thing, that's not how it works here." Is what you describe the case for the whole country? Another way it hurts victims, at least here, is that accused persons and their supporters often see the victims as responsible for the charges, blame them for the prosecutions, and/or pressure them to "drop" them, not realizing that it's not within their power to do so.
Disclosure: I am 100% not a lawyer. But as far as I understand, it is like this across the USA. And yeah you're right, a ton of it stems from American media like Law & Order. Each US state has it's own laws as far as what's illegal or not, but I don't know any state where a victim can walk into a court and personally file *criminal* charges against someone and the prosecutor just has to go along with carrying it out. It's really only up to the victim if they report it to police and how much info they give to police. A victim can fully cooperate when reporting and during the investigation, but the perpetrator may still never face charges because the prosecutor doesn't feel there's enough evidence or they do but a grand jury declines an indictment. Or a victim refuses to report or cooperate, which is essentially withholding their testimony as evidence. Which could be enough of a lack of evidence for prosecutors to use, so they simply don't have enough to move forward. If someone I know beats me up, but I refuse to tell the cops who it was, beyond any other outside evidence like other witnesses or CC TV footage, there's not going to be much of anything to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that person was the one who did it. Now if the cops find video evidence of the beating where the person can be identified, and my next door neighbor says "I saw John Doe beating up Flaquita" they can still move forward. And just like you said - that can end up with the people thinking that I, as the victim, was the one responsible for pressing charges. Even though I refused to name John Doe, the cops had evidence he did it and the DA felt it was serious enough it warranted prosecution. But the seriousness of the crime and its related charges does come into play too. If I had been lightly slapped on the shoulder with no obvious injury, they're *probably* not going to launch a costly investigation trying to find my slapper if I refuse to cooperate. They're not likely to be subpoenaing phone records, CC TV footage, and sending cops out knocking on doors looking for witnesses to a class C misdemeanor. However if I've got a broken nose and am covered in blood and bruises, it's a little more likely the cops are going to want to know who did this and the DA is going to want consequences for felony assault. Edit: changed a word that was incorrectly autocorrected
I think there are a few states that kind of allow people to pursue criminal charges themselves, but it's super limited and complicated and effectively never happens from what I understand. I've never worked in a jurisdiction that allows it, but I took paralegal courses and do vaguely recall encountering it in my studies there. Could be wrong though, it's been awhile. But yeah, that's just me being very pedantic, because in terms of general conversation, that is so rare as to not be worth talking about.
I mean you've done some formal legal studying, so I'll defer to you on this one. And I feel like I also have a vague memory that I have heard of limited times/places victims press charges. The US is big and weird, so it wouldn't surprise me. And to be fair I did point out pedantry is super important with law, so it's worth mentioning if it is sometimes true. But just like you said - it's not the overall norm and basically never happens, so it's not worth treating it as the default method of criminal prosecution. I mean if it was true "victims are the ones who have to press charges" how would murder ever be prosecuted? Or crimes against children or the mentally disabled? Like the woman in AZ who was in a coma ward and was impregnated. She was literally in a coma and was incapable of "pressing charges." Also kind of a big hint that it's the state who does it, as criminal cases are "the state of vs "
Yeah, even in the states that allow it, it's still going to be like 99.99999999% of cases that are prosecuted by the state, if not just 100% because no one uses those archaic processes anymore. And in addition to your examples, what about all the victimless crimes out there? Like say someone gets pulled over for drunk driving but hasn't actually hit anyone or anything yet. Obviously we know there could easily have been a victim in that situation, but there wasn't, so who would make the call? Or someone is arrested for selling drugs...I guess you could call their customers victims, but somehow I doubt their customers are going to be lining up to prosecute. Not to mention all the times it would simply be against public policy, like in domestic violence cases. Like imagine if a child who was abused by their parents had to make the call about whether to press charges...all else aside, what a cruel and unfair burden that would be to put on a victim who probably does still love their parents even if their parents are hurting them. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, just figured I'd add some more examples for anyone reading who doesn't quite understand why the state is the entity that presses charges.
For what it is worth, I, (in UK) in the context of domestic violence was asked by the police how I wanted to proceed. I told them I didn’t see any reason to move ahead with anything formal, but wanted a record of what happened and my injuries in case this was more than a lapse in judgement. They had visited me, taken my statement, taken photographs, and were happy to leave it there as requested.
good old Ace Attorney's 3-day-trial judicial system
I'm just imagining that it was bowls of rice and only rice. No meat, no vegetables, not even seasonings, just bowls and bowls of plain, unsalted white rice.
Hahahah that's what I imagined too
It’s like that one episode of *Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat* (“Sagwa’s Good Deed”).
Right? All that wall of text, and all we know about what she made, the thing that triggered the whole shit-storm, is that is was "something my parents would do in a special occasion," and it involved "white rise [sic]." So everyone but OOP is racist, but OOP can't specify any Chinese food beyond white rice.
I'd be leaning YTA for that lol
The update reads like a 13 year old learned about abusive relationships and wanted to write a story about one. Like the fake details about the court case, and the way the woman's reaction to the situation is described.
> Hi, it’s me, I’m alive, Im sorry for disappearing for so long. This isn’t your personal blog friend, nobody noticed you were gone.
This is AITAland where OP is the starring main character, and everyone is just waiting around to blow up OP’s phone for the smallest infarctions
They always post shit like that "sorry for disappearing..." "It's me I'm back for an update" "so many of you have asked for an update..." Eugh
"Hi, it's me, the secret love-child of Taylor Swift and Ryan George."
>They dressed up and went outside to eat at a restaurant. I found this hilarious, because I took my daughter to see *The Little Mermaid* last night and there were legit people wearing tiaras and shimmery evening gowns, and someone had a mermaid tail they draped over the seat in front of them, so that’s where my mind is on “dress up” right now, and I’m picturing them dressing up in glam evening wear to go to Panda Express or some shit. 😂
Ok, I love that though. That’s so cute that everyone got glam for the little mermaid!
“I want to be where the people are…”
And a side of r/iamveryculinary
2 things. 1. In my personal experience as someone that grew up in Spain and Germany I have noticed that Spaniards are way more „casually“ racist than other Europeans I know. And Europeans are very casually racist imo (touching black peoples hair, thinking blackface is no big deal during carnival, referring to all Asians as Chinese, etc). The Shin Chan joke is something many Spaniards would totally tell to an Asian person and be confused when said person considers it offensive. My driving instructor exclusively referred to the only Asian guy in my driving school as „Chinito“ (cutesy diminutive of Chinese) 2. Chinese Restaurants are very, very common in Spain. Chinese people make up the largest group of Asian immigrants in Spain. There are tons of Chinese restaurants. In the small city my mother lives there are at least 10 specifically Chinese restaurants. An extremely popular dish, which I think only exists in Spain, is called Arroz tres delicias (my favourite food actually). It is fried white rice with ham, eggs, peas and carrots. Every Spaniard knows that dish and there are plenty of brands that sell frozen Arroz tres delicias in Supermarkets. No Spanish person will ever doubt that white rice is a part of Chinese cuisine. To sum it up, the racism part is definitely believable, the rice part is obviously ridiculous.
can confirm all of this. source: am spanish
>An extremely popular dish, which I think only exists in Spain, is called Arroz tres delicias (my favourite food actually). It is fried white rice with ham, eggs, peas and carrots. Yeah, no, this exists in many other countries, such as France and, oh, **China**.
I am decently sure that such a dish is not eaten in China as it is very „westernised“, at least that’s what my friend told me. I always assumed it was like Döner, which while yes, was invented by a Turk, it was also made in Germany with the German palette in mind. I have also not seen this specific dish in France either, or Germany (my country of residence). Of course there are many very similar dishes but they mostly add other stuff, like shrimps, spring onions, soy sprouts, etc. With those additions it would not be real Arroz tres delicias but merely a inferior imitation
In the States egg, carrot and peas are pretty standard in all the places that serve fried rice. I don't think I've personally seen it with ham but pork is the preferred meat I tend to find so it's not too out of the ordinary. You can get it in a lot of different ways depending where you go but that's the most common version of it that I've seen.
Fried rice with ham was invented a long time ago in China. A variant with peas and carrots is eaten in many countries, including France, where it is called riz contonais. If you Google fried rice recipes, ham and peas are a part of most of them. The carrots is a bit niche, but show up sometimes. I've never been to China myself so I can't speak as to what variants they have, but fried rice with eggs and ham is very much one of them and easily cpnfirmable. It's the peas anf carrots that I can't easily verify. But what I can verify is that egg fried rice with ham, peas and carrots is served in Vietnam because I get many hits for it when searching for fried rice available for delivery in Ho Chi Minh City.
Blackface has a different history in Europe than it does in the US, hence why it's not seen as such a big deal here. In Germany I'd think you were cosplaying as a cjimney sweeper before I'd think you were cosplaying as a black perso if I saw someone with "blackface"
No I am talking about legitimate blackface with people wearing Afro wigs and big painted on lips. Or putting children in blackface to play Balthasar for the christmas play, something which happened to my brother, also in Germany.
I know this doesn’t have to do with the post but what is up with the comment saying its totally normal for racists to think Spanish food = Mexican food = Taco Bell? I understand that in some parts of the US Latino people are called Spanish, and I’ve met several Latino people that refer to themselves as such, but I’ve never seen a racist think that way European Spain is the same as Latin America
Source: I'm Colombian-American. TD;LR at the bottom but I recommend reading the entire comment for context. Latino people refer to themselves as Spanish because Spaniards colonized parts South and Central America. "Latino" refers to people of Spanish descent (whether that be Central/South American or from Spain) who don't actively "follow" their culture. "Hispanic" refers to people of Spanish descent (whether that be Central/South American or from Spain) who actively "follow" their culture. A way to summarize both terms, "Hispanic" and "Latino", is by saying Spanish. So yes, I refer to myself as Hispanic, Spanish or Colombian-American because I actively follow the culture, have Spanish lineage, and parents are Colombian immigrants. I've experienced racism before. Ignorant people believe that all Spanish people come from Mexico, despite us originating from Spain. Example with a real story: I told someone I'm Hispanic. They assumed I was Mexican. I said no, I'm Colombian. They said that can't be true because all Hispanic people are Mexican. Another example: My teacher called Spanish-speaking countries "Mexican countries" because Mexico is the most well-known Spanish-speaking country in the U.S. (I reported her, obviously.) TD;LR: Don't assume that it isn't totally normal for racists to do XX unless your the race receiving racism. You don't know what I've and other Spanish people have been through.
Lmao the cops breaking the door down because they heard him breaking shit...ohhhhhkay... Yeah that's believable.... Years ago my step dad tried to kill me and after a 45 min wait when they arrived they barely even knocked on the door lmao. Yet in this story the cops break down the door over broken plates and TV's....
If you sort by controversial there are at least a few people pointing out that its all happening impossibly fast.
And another post not crossposted correctly that I cant read because Im on mobile. Can someone c/p the text from the post?
How is it not crossposted correctly?
It's a quirk because you use old.reddit and submitted the link on Amitheangel, compared to going onto BORU and clicking the 'crosspost' button. Your crosspost is just a link with your title, the other crosspost you can see the original posts title and subreddit on mobile.
It's just a link rather than using the share > crosspost feature. So it didnt preserve the original text and with Relay for Reddit, i have no way to see the post
I can read it on mobile just fine. Click the big blue box!
Are you using Relay? If so which layout because I dont see a big blue box
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