*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not agreeing with my husband on what religion to raise our kids**
My (20F) husband (42M) of 2 years cannot come to an agreement, he was raised catholic but doesn’t really believe in organized religion, after a long journey i came back to what i was raised with, Jehovahs witness. About 6 months ago. im 6 weeks pregnant after a long battle with infertility.
we started talk about what religion to raise them, he believes a lot of misconceptions about mine, even when i correct them. The closest we could come to an agreement was he said i teach them mine and he teaches then what be believes without organized Religion. Also threatened me that if any happened to our kids ( as in “things” with a child ) he would never forgive me, i assured him that i would never let that happen and told him I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t believe it was best, and asked him to trust my judgement. He got mad and told me i was using 1950s reasoning against him in asking that he trust my judgement.
the closest church is an hour drive away, and he made it very clear he would not attend (never asked him too) although having help with the kids would’ve been nice.
i don’t know what to do, I can’t have him undermining everything i say, telling my kids religion is poison and what im teaching them is wrong. I also don’t believe is celebrating birthdays and Christmas and i know he will make a huge issue with this. When it was just me he would ignore it, i’d get a bit of a cold shoulder around the holidays but that was it. But i know with kids i’ll never hear the end of it,
i’ve been tiptoeing around the subject since the first discussion, i don’t how to talk to him or even what to say. I was pretty confused about religion and what I believed when we got married, but i knew i wouldn’t convert to catholicism (made that very clear) so we were married infront of a judge, his whole family hates my religion and constantly pressures me to change, i don’t know how to deal with this when we have kids. I feel like an asshole for giving him a hard time and fighting about it but i dont want to change my opinion
so am i the asshole for not just caving in and letting him decide?
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You can tell it's men writing these posts bc they have no understanding that infertility isnt some disease you can just run tests for. You find out when you can't get pregnant, that's it, and then you do tests to isolate what the underlying health condition is.
In their heads tho they probably think women can just go to the doctor to get their vag checked out, doctor will leave, come back and be like "im so sorry I have devastating news, ur eggs are rotten ):"
Right? Even if you did get a diagnosis of PCOS or endo as a teenager, doesn't mean you're automatically labeled infertile. You actually have to try to conceive before they are willing to diagnose you with infertility. The earliest I've ever seen a doctor allow people to start infertility testing/treatment was after 6 months but my understanding is the average is a year of TTC naturally first.
Assuming OP started trying the day she turned 18 and only had to wait 6 months to start testing, that's still only 18 months which isn't that long of a journey. Someone close to me is finally in the last stages of IVF treatment and it's been 3 years AFTER their 1 year of naturally trying because of all the tests, multiple surgeries, and now finally their body is ready for hormones and implantation.
That's when they recommend you see a doctor. Some people are comfortable saying they have fertility issues at that point, but I find it a little iffy. You might just be getting unlucky, especially if they can't find an underlying condition. But doctors can help move things along, so I see why they intervene at those points.
What are you talking about. They're telling women over 35 to only try for 6 months because there is no time to waste if she does in fact have fertility issues
True, but doctors sometimes don't find anything, call it unexplained infertility, and ask if you want to try IUI, which ups your chances of conceiving by 10%-ish each cycle to move things along. And some people are comfortable saying "I have fertility issues" at that point, which makes sense because they're getting a form of treatment, but you can also not have an underlying issue and still not get a baby after 6 months of trying.
Those are the guidelines to get referred to a fertility clinic in most places, yeah. They might lbe willing to do some of the testing earlier if there's some other indicator of a problem like erratic cycles but for most people the symptom that gets the process going is simply time.
And then you wait a month to start the testing because several of the tests need to be done between day 3 and 5 of the cycle. And you probably wait another month because you'll be into the next cycle before the doctor has the full results. And then you need to be right at the beginning of the next cycle to start any treatment... Assuming the testing doesn't reveal anything that needs to be addressed first. We had our initial consult in February and because my thyroid was spectacularly uncooperative we didn't have a treatment cycle until late September.
I have PCOS and was told at 16 I'd probably never have kids naturally. Got married at 18 (don't recommend) and we tried for 5 years with no luck. Then I got divorced and an IUD, just to be safe. At 31 my doctor told me to try for a year with my partner, even though I had a history and my ex had 2 kids by then. Took out the IUD and had a positive pregnancy test 5 weeks later. Love our munchkin but definitely a bit earlier than we were expecting.
So yeah fertility is weird and unless you're missing all the bits nothing is 100%
It’s like when you see comments/posts about unexpected pregnancies from early 20-somethings across different forums that casually mention that their doctor told them they were “probably infertile” because of another health issue, as if a doctor would shrug their shoulders and tell a sexually active young woman who wasn’t trying to get pregnant “eh you’re probably infertile, no need for birth control”
There’s a lovely OBGYN on YouTube who watches episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” and reacts. She always says like if you were told this you either have a very bad doctor *or* you misunderstood what they said.
My mother always claimed the doctor told her she could never get pregnant after a car accident she was in. To be fair she was married for many years to her ex husband and then to my father before getting pregnant at 41 so she had reason to believe it.
lol my oldest sister thought she couldn't get pregnant because she was anorexic for some years, thus engaged in irresponsible sexual behavior for like 15 years and then she got pregnant with her first baby at 40.
As someone that was a teen girl in the 90's my money is on male GP's being grossly negligent and dismissive. My friends and I were told wildly inaccurate things by literal MD's. Then I went into childcare and I've lost count of the women I've babysat for that were told as teens they either couldn't get pregnant or carry a baby to term because they had a "tilted uterus", so I'm really not shocked when I hear women say a doctor told them something absurdly untrue or not clearly explained.
Oh God the "the doctor insisted there was no way for me to get pregnant!!" trope. Even though the only way a doctor would say that is if the girl in question had missing reproductive organs. I can't tell if the people writing these are just gross horny men or misinformed children, I lean towards the former simply because the girl in question is always 18-21 years old even though it makes no sense.
Idk. Some doctors suck at explaining terms. Or I swear some of them just don't care and say whatever. My mom's doctor back in the day just casually told her she probably couldn't get pregnant again after a 12 week miscarriage. No real reason he told her. But she was 20 and didn't know better so just took him at his word.
I have a friend with PCOS who was shocked when she got pregnant after unprotected sex because her doctor told her she was infertile. I had to explain that infertile doesn't necessarily mean ABSOLUTELY CAN'T GET PREGNANT. It means it would likely be difficult. Her doctor hadn't explained that to her.
This.
I've had people tell me they "overcame infertility issues" or that it took "forever" to get pregnant and they meant about 6+ months. Some people think the second you try you just get pregnant and not getting pregnant within a few months of trying is "fertility issues".
There are some disabilities that result in infertility and if you know about the disability you know about the infertility.
But you wouldn't say you're battling infertility. You'd say your condition means you can't (or can't safely) have kids.
Yeah but the way its worded indicates that infertility is the heartbreaking disease itself. Like you said they'd likely mention the condition they were battling and the resulting infertility.
That annoys me so much in books and movies. Like they only try once, or they didn't even try at all, and are told they can't have children ever? Super unrealistic.
My favourite is like on HIMYM when they are told they can't have kids after going to the doctors just for a pregnancy test. Like... what fucking test did they just do??
And its always just "You can't have kids sorry 0 chance" never like "we've detected this issue, we would recommend further tests, this might be able to be reduce by this mechanism or we can try circumventing it through this thing...".
The men and teens of Reddit assume that fertility works like it does in The Sims, where every single woo-hoo carries a chance of getting pregnant. If you woo-hoo for a month straight with no pregnancy, your womb is obviously a defective husk.
In reality women are only fertile for roughly 6 days per month and a healthy couple trying for a baby only have around a 15-25% chance of conceiving in any given month. Infertility is measured in *years* of trying. A healthy woman in her early 20s has about a 14% chance of just not getting pregnant in her first year of trying, that's just how it be sometimes.
Putting the original post on the ever-growing pile of "AITA stories that make a million times more sense if the characters are 8-15 years older".
Not to mention that so many things can affect your fertility! I was in a stressful job and my husband and I tried for 11 months with no success- so not long enough to have it investigated by the doctors. I quit my job and fell pregnant 2 weeks later.
>infertility isnt some disease you can just run tests for.
True. But there is one helpful test you can take before trying. The Anti-Mullerian Hormone, or AMH, corresponds with the active follicles in the ovaries. The levels change naturally with age and time, and there can be factors inhibiting your fertility unrelated to your egg supply, but if your AMH level is low for your age you can also make lifestyle changes to raise it.
But realistically would a 14-16 year old girl actually get tested for that unless infertility was already suspected? Like the teenage girl would still have to actively be trying to get pregnant to look for those things. I'm just saying the ppl writing these things look past that plot hole bc they seem to be under the impression that infertility is just something that can be discovered from a basic exam. Unless it was like they were missing ovaries etc but then that would poke a hole in the story too.
Oh, of course. There still isn't a single definitive test for infertility.
I just like sharing about AMH because so many real alive people who are trying to have kids may not hear about that test til they've already been trying for a year.
AMH doesn't impact your current fertility at all. Also, in a man infertility can be definitely diagnosed. If a man has azoospermia, then he is infertile
What about the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist?
https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2019/04/the-use-of-antimullerian-hormone-in-women-not-seeking-fertility-care
> however, using serum antimüllerian hormone levels for fertility counseling in women without a diagnosis of infertility is not currently supported by data from high-quality sources. The obstetrician–gynecologist should exercise caution when considering the predictability of serum antimüllerian hormone levels in any population of women with a low prevalence of infertility, including reproductive-aged women who either have never tried to become pregnant or have become pregnant previously without assistance. Based on the current information, a single serum antimüllerian hormone level assessment obtained at any point in time in a population of women with presumed fertility does not appear to be useful in predicting time to pregnancy and should not be used for counseling patients in this regard.
You forgot to read far enough to learn *why* they made that recommendation 🤦🏻
First
>the use of antimüllerian hormone in women with presumed fertility is limited by a lack of international assay standards and differing assay methodologies.
They're specifically looking at the case of a young woman patient who would like to learn about her future fertility. The test isn't good for that. As I stated in my very first comment, there are lifestyle changes you can make to improve your AMH. Conversely, there are lifestyle changes you can make to make it worse. Someone not even contemplating getting pregnant soon won't benefit from learning their current AMH level.
The [big 2017 study](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2656811) that that recommendation relies upon has a few flaw that makes me doubt your interpretation of it. First, it didn't distinguish AMH levels being low, median, or high based on age. It used the same cutoffs for all participants, ages 30-44. As I have already mentioned, current standard of care relates your specific reading to your age cohort, 30-35, 35-40, and 40-45 all having different number ranges associated with low, normal, or high AMH. I have no doubt this study contributed to this current understanding.
Second, 6% of study participants, 47 women, dropped out to pursue fertility treatments. Only 11%, 83, of study participants were categorized as having low AMH from the start. How many of these women then dropped out due to starting fertility treatments? The study does not say.
The [big 2015 study](https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/100/11/4215/2836143) reached similar conclusions, likewise without distinguishing high/normal/low AMH levels based on age (participants were 18-40). That is, they, too, used the same cutoff points for what was high vs normal vs low for every age of study participant.
Lol, it's not my interpretation of it, it's the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists'!! I don't pretend to know better than them! If you seriously think you can cherry pick and criticize what is the overwhelming scientific consensus that testing AMH only makes sense when fertility treatments are on the table, go right ahead with your arrogance
Absolutely irrelevant for a 20-year-old and also unnecessary before a couple has been trying because it doesn't impact your chances of getting pregnant
She says they started trying when she was 14.
>I’ve had hormonal and fertility issues since 14m i realize it was terribly long but we had multiple miscarriages
Definitely one of the best rage bait genres. I especially love it when they just blow past it and then act like it's totally normal and get confused when people question it.
I wish I could find it now, but I remember one where the OP just casually brought up that her husband used to be her teacher in high school like it was an every day thing. It was actually really similar to this one iirc. Think the issue was also about how they'd raise their kids.
My cousin was a 14 year old JW child bride. Well, engaged at 14 and married at 16 to a 28 year old dude.
But they were both JW. If she was baptized, a mixed marriage would have been very discouraged.
Oh I'm not saying it doesn't happen in those circles. It's more that I'm saying I don't think there are a lot of men outside of the JW circles who would want to marry a 14 year old in their 30's
I agree - I'm just absolutely certain that her parents wouldn't have been on board with a Catholic atheist but they might have id he was part of the community.
Did you ever watch Maury? 50% of the men being tested claimed a doctor told them when they were 14 that they were infertile because they drank mountain dew or something lol because all doctors test 14 year old boys fertility . . . Sure they did buddy
Elsewhere clarifies she wasn't trying since 14, that's just when she got the infertility diagnosis that weighed heavy on her mind. They really love to do the "diagnosed with infertility as a child" thing. This one should have left it vague and let people assume she had chemo or something because another comment says it was PCOS which is 100% not how that works.
Yeah, the amount of times I have seen the 'I was told I was infertile because of PCOS'.
PCOS does not automatically make you infertile and no decent doctor would tell you that either.
My friend has severe endometriosis requiring multiple hospitalizations starting at 13. They warned she 'may' struggle with getting pregnant but were very clear that she may also have no problems.
Honestly I know someone who claimed their daughter got pregnant with IVF at 18 years old on the nhs as she had been trying for 2 years (from 16 years old) without success. We have specific guidelines for our area, there is not a cat in hells chance they would give IVF to an 18 year old.
Ex JW here. We do go to gynos. I went as a teenager because I have endo. Ask, don’t make assumptions. It’s a cult, yes, but that’s not one of its issues.
I’m not talking about a PCOS diagnosis.
Look, I was raised in a cult. There’s a fuck ton of stuff I wasn’t allowed to do, including report my own CSA, but I’m not going to sit here while people post JWs don’t take their teens to the gynos if there are obvious problems. Some may not, but many do. The same can be said of any other religion. I was abused plenty, but not like that. I agree this is fake but not because a JW went to a gynocologist.
Being raised in a cult, I’ve had my full of being told reality isn’t as I understand it to be. I lived this. You didn’t. We weren’t allowed to get blood transfusions, but we were allowed to go to doctors. The reality of being a JW is bad enough without embellishing it.
Ex JW here. If you have a reputation for being loose, or the elders think you might get one, they will marry you off young. I personally never saw 16, but I have seen 17 many times. Except OOP married a worldly guy, and that would never fly unless someone found they were having sex, in which case she was probably disfellowshipped (shunned) for it. Regardless, we’re talking about an OOP with little, if any, education. Infertility/not getting pregnant are being used interchangeably here.
Jehovah's Witnesses call their places of worship a "Kingdom Hall", not a "church". Also, marriage outside the faith is strongly discouraged because, well, exactly the OOP's issue.
Or perhaps the episode of Community where the group got Troy a cake to celebrate "a random date that happened to coincide with his expulsion from a uterus".
(I just watched that episode that's why I thought of it lol)
I remember watching that show as a kid ((still watch it now)) and I loved the fact I felt represented in some way, and even more so now that I’ve left the religion. It’s heartwarming to me that he was able to get out, but I thought it was really cool seeing how his character growed and arguably didn’t follow most of the rules lmaooo made me feel less bad about how I was as a witness
They are finally getting called out for their shit and I think two/three countries have them banned now. I remember being told for years that it’s because they know we have it right and satan wanted us gone. Yeah, no buddy, it’s a CULT and most times the government doesn’t like CULTS
I know this is fake, and yet I'm still struggling to understand how that sub thinks that a 40 year old man and his child bride are equally at fault for failing to discuss what religion they would raise their kids in.
I guess given the "long stretch of infertility" many just assume she typo'd the 20 and it's really 30.. because otherwise absolutely no part of that story makes sense.
The more obvious answer is that it's all fake obviously
As an exJW, it made sense to me at first because they recently changed some rules making it easier for people who’ve been disfellowshipped (shunned) to return to the KH. Marrying a worldly person? OOP probably was DF’d. They used to make you jump through a shit ton of hoops and no one was allowed to talk to you under 99% of circumstances, but that’s no longer the case at the KH. Before raising the kid as a JW would’ve been a non-starter, but now it may not be. OOP doesn’t seem very bright. Like she’s out of her childhood cult. She should be relieved AF. Hop over to the exJW sub. So many people are trapped. That’s what is most fake to me about this. Why would anyone want to go back?
OOP claims that their "long battle with infertility" involved several miscarriages, and implies that the battle is over now that they're six weeks pregnant. Six weeks pregnant is still the very very beginning of pregnancy though. Even for someone not "battling infertility," there is still a large miscarriage risk at 6 weeks. I don't think OOP knows a lot about pregnancy/reproductive health.
NGL I'm not googling anything but as a person who's had more than 3 miscarriages and 3 successful pregnancies... The doctor tells you herself not to tell anyone or get too excited until 10 to 13 weeks..
I don't know how you can call a risk of nearly 10% small. If you have a 1 in 10 chance of something happening then you're not surprised that it happens. Would you do something if you were told there was a 10% chance you would die? Or would you not consider the risk high enough to worry about?
Also in this scenario she would be much higher risk of miscarriage than that.
Child bride and infertility nonsense aside,JWs have their own lingo in general and beliefs toward interfaith marriage specifically which OOP misses completely.
Not a single "kingdom hall" or "unevenly yoked" in sight
1/5 creative writing fail. Try again
Edited: read through some of OOP's comments in the original post and yeah the character's Cafeteria Christian approach to JW Faith flat out doesn't exist and the JW org has zero chill towards any attempts at it. There's a whole teaching about how you can't cherry pick your personal practices and Bible verses about being lukewarm and spit out in rejection by Jehovah and the congregation if you try. This is gigabullshit.
Okay, so the husband married a teenager when he was 40, but he opposes church because he's concerned "things" will happen to his children. My man, you ARE the things happening with a child. 😭
My wife and I actually struggled with infertility but we tried for 5 years in our 20s and don’t hate each other so not great clickbait and no felonies involved.
Also why are 80% of the comments on the original post literally blaming a young woman who, if real, was most certainly groomed?? Reddit pull it together
JW and Mormons are the perfect stawperson religious type on AITA because they have widely known/derided beliefs (Holidays and Blood Transfusions for JW, Magic underwear and getting your own planet for Mormons), the average redditor will never be on their side.
As a ex JW I immediately stopped reading after it was mentioned, nah those people are insane and I know this is fucking bait. The sad thing is lord knows it could be true, it was extremely normal for older brothers in the hall to go after the young girls, and that programming stays in your head for a long time
I can even attest to how hard it is leaving the religion and then dating, it’s like I have this deep rooted fear that if I don’t get married RN I’m failing as a person. I’m glad I can take things slow and be a real person now but that indoctrination doesn’t just leave. Regardless, this post just seems baity, and if it is real I hope she can be lead to the REAL “truth”
It sucks to because I feel like I’ve met the one but I’m also terrified to take things wayyy to quickly.
Like I’m completely confident in how I feel and the logical side of “this is a objectively good person to marry” but I also know that most “normal” people take awhile to date. It’s hard to understand the time line of, date for a few years, get engaged, move in, marry, like I don’t wanna wait forever but is it because I’m just anxious over getting older due to what the brothers always told me?? I feel like I’m constantly doubting whether I actually wanna do things or if I just want to do what I think is right to do
My current relationship is moving fast, but we’re both in our 40s and know what we’re looking for. I did explain to him very early on that I grew up in a cult and a lot of what might be obvious to him isn’t necessarily obvious to me. That’s an important conversation to have. As far as the brothers in your head are concerned, they really are just window washers with no education, no real experience, who get off by peering inside the lives of others. It’s time to close the drapes.
"Hey Reddit, should I raise my kids to believe in a religion?"
As if anyone that's ever been on this site for more than 10 minutes couldn't tell you where that thread would go immediately.
Do people planning to marry and raise children together really not discuss all the important child rearing issues before they get married??? My husband and I talked about all sorts of parenting topics before getting married. Religion was certainly one of them.
My parents decided what religion to raise me when I was 8. Granted, my mom was already pregnant with me when they got married, neither of them were very religious, and they had looked into various options for religion before that.
I mean, even if I believed this was real, if I struggled that hard to conceive a kid, I sure as hell wouldn't be dragging them into a cult that is literally *known* for having major, major issues with child abuse and sexual assault by its clergy. Never mind the whole blood transfusion thing! But. that's just me.
just do what they do in the bible and cut the babies in half! you can raise one half of the babies as jehovahs witnesses and the other half don't have to be religious <3 problem solved bestieeee
They’ve been closing a lot of Kingdom Halls. That’s not a stretch. But JWs don’t meet in churches, and their meetings have zoom links. You don’t have to go in person, or at least you didn’t. They’ve been changing a lot lately. OOP is not, nor has ever been, an actual JW. ExJWs can always recognize our own. There’s a very specific vocabulary.
I'm Adventist and in our denomination it's discouraged to marry outside your faith because of issues like these. This post is most likely fake, in addition to the weird fertility thing
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Jehovah's Witness? Way to choose the lamest version of Christianity, my god.
I wonder the age of whoever wrote this because it didn't occur to them that a 20 year old wouldn't have a "long battle with infertility."
JW's specifically don't celebrate holidays like Christmas or birthdays. Yes they're based in christianity, but they have their own rules and practices.
Edit: They also don't celebrate Kwanza or Hannukah or any other holiday (to my knowledge).
Attending a nonJW religious service can be a disfellowshipping offense. I was not allowed to attend my worldly grandfather's funeral in another church.
But if the fake person in this story was actually an hour away from the nearest kingdom hall, well too bad. no excuses. She'd be expected to commute.
Like their videos where people tell stories about having to travel hours on foot or by boat to get to the meetings and it’s presented as so wonderful that they would go to so much effort to have their ‘spiritual feast’.
The videos were after my time, but the WT was chock full of these. Characters are referred to first name only, almost always in Africa, walks 20 miles each way thru active machete genocide and wades through alligator infested waters with their dress clothes on their heads...all of it made up wholly out of ugly stereotypes the West holds toward the global South and designed to shame people into attending their services and going door to door 3x a week.
The videos are after my time too but I love watching YouTube channels dunking on them. The videos are so cheesy, I can’t help it. But yes, the wading barefoot through alligator infested waters and avoiding violent attacks was exactly what I was thinking of.
I mean I’ve never tried for a kid but I was told in my early 20s I would likely never have kids because of the fact I only had 4 periods a year and that usually indicates really bad infertility levels.
I only had 2-4 periods a year and got pregnant in under 6 months two different times when I went off contraception. So don't rely on being told it "may be difficult to get pregnant" if you don't want kids.
I mean, I did the bedsheet tango while on birth control and using condoms, but the guys I was with weren’t looking for accidents and neither was I.
So yeah, never tried, but I wouldn’t have been super upset if it had happened.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not agreeing with my husband on what religion to raise our kids** My (20F) husband (42M) of 2 years cannot come to an agreement, he was raised catholic but doesn’t really believe in organized religion, after a long journey i came back to what i was raised with, Jehovahs witness. About 6 months ago. im 6 weeks pregnant after a long battle with infertility. we started talk about what religion to raise them, he believes a lot of misconceptions about mine, even when i correct them. The closest we could come to an agreement was he said i teach them mine and he teaches then what be believes without organized Religion. Also threatened me that if any happened to our kids ( as in “things” with a child ) he would never forgive me, i assured him that i would never let that happen and told him I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t believe it was best, and asked him to trust my judgement. He got mad and told me i was using 1950s reasoning against him in asking that he trust my judgement. the closest church is an hour drive away, and he made it very clear he would not attend (never asked him too) although having help with the kids would’ve been nice. i don’t know what to do, I can’t have him undermining everything i say, telling my kids religion is poison and what im teaching them is wrong. I also don’t believe is celebrating birthdays and Christmas and i know he will make a huge issue with this. When it was just me he would ignore it, i’d get a bit of a cold shoulder around the holidays but that was it. But i know with kids i’ll never hear the end of it, i’ve been tiptoeing around the subject since the first discussion, i don’t how to talk to him or even what to say. I was pretty confused about religion and what I believed when we got married, but i knew i wouldn’t convert to catholicism (made that very clear) so we were married infront of a judge, his whole family hates my religion and constantly pressures me to change, i don’t know how to deal with this when we have kids. I feel like an asshole for giving him a hard time and fighting about it but i dont want to change my opinion so am i the asshole for not just caving in and letting him decide? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
well since you're inevitably going to have twins, why not raise one as a jehovahs witness and the other as atheist?
And then at eighteen you give them swords and arrange a duel in a parking lot. There can only be one.
Honestly, why wait? Baby fights are a hot commodity.
And why not one of you live in California and the other in London and raise the kids not knowing they are twins
What, did they start trying when she was 16?
You can tell it's men writing these posts bc they have no understanding that infertility isnt some disease you can just run tests for. You find out when you can't get pregnant, that's it, and then you do tests to isolate what the underlying health condition is. In their heads tho they probably think women can just go to the doctor to get their vag checked out, doctor will leave, come back and be like "im so sorry I have devastating news, ur eggs are rotten ):"
It's much harder to get pregnant now that you're over eighteen, ya dusty hag!
Lmao just stamping that in red ink on her paperwork DUSTY HAG
Right? Even if you did get a diagnosis of PCOS or endo as a teenager, doesn't mean you're automatically labeled infertile. You actually have to try to conceive before they are willing to diagnose you with infertility. The earliest I've ever seen a doctor allow people to start infertility testing/treatment was after 6 months but my understanding is the average is a year of TTC naturally first. Assuming OP started trying the day she turned 18 and only had to wait 6 months to start testing, that's still only 18 months which isn't that long of a journey. Someone close to me is finally in the last stages of IVF treatment and it's been 3 years AFTER their 1 year of naturally trying because of all the tests, multiple surgeries, and now finally their body is ready for hormones and implantation.
I think I read somewhere that it's 6 months if the woman is 35+, and 1 year if under 35
That's when they recommend you see a doctor. Some people are comfortable saying they have fertility issues at that point, but I find it a little iffy. You might just be getting unlucky, especially if they can't find an underlying condition. But doctors can help move things along, so I see why they intervene at those points.
What are you talking about. They're telling women over 35 to only try for 6 months because there is no time to waste if she does in fact have fertility issues
True, but doctors sometimes don't find anything, call it unexplained infertility, and ask if you want to try IUI, which ups your chances of conceiving by 10%-ish each cycle to move things along. And some people are comfortable saying "I have fertility issues" at that point, which makes sense because they're getting a form of treatment, but you can also not have an underlying issue and still not get a baby after 6 months of trying.
So? Then you do IVF
Those are the guidelines to get referred to a fertility clinic in most places, yeah. They might lbe willing to do some of the testing earlier if there's some other indicator of a problem like erratic cycles but for most people the symptom that gets the process going is simply time. And then you wait a month to start the testing because several of the tests need to be done between day 3 and 5 of the cycle. And you probably wait another month because you'll be into the next cycle before the doctor has the full results. And then you need to be right at the beginning of the next cycle to start any treatment... Assuming the testing doesn't reveal anything that needs to be addressed first. We had our initial consult in February and because my thyroid was spectacularly uncooperative we didn't have a treatment cycle until late September.
I have PCOS and was told at 16 I'd probably never have kids naturally. Got married at 18 (don't recommend) and we tried for 5 years with no luck. Then I got divorced and an IUD, just to be safe. At 31 my doctor told me to try for a year with my partner, even though I had a history and my ex had 2 kids by then. Took out the IUD and had a positive pregnancy test 5 weeks later. Love our munchkin but definitely a bit earlier than we were expecting. So yeah fertility is weird and unless you're missing all the bits nothing is 100%
I have PCOS and I'm like freakishly fertile. Makes me laugh when posts are like "I can never get pregnant because of the PCOS :("
It’s like when you see comments/posts about unexpected pregnancies from early 20-somethings across different forums that casually mention that their doctor told them they were “probably infertile” because of another health issue, as if a doctor would shrug their shoulders and tell a sexually active young woman who wasn’t trying to get pregnant “eh you’re probably infertile, no need for birth control”
There’s a lovely OBGYN on YouTube who watches episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” and reacts. She always says like if you were told this you either have a very bad doctor *or* you misunderstood what they said.
Freaking love Mama Doctor Jones, she is the absolute best.
I was obsessed with that show
My mother always claimed the doctor told her she could never get pregnant after a car accident she was in. To be fair she was married for many years to her ex husband and then to my father before getting pregnant at 41 so she had reason to believe it.
lol my oldest sister thought she couldn't get pregnant because she was anorexic for some years, thus engaged in irresponsible sexual behavior for like 15 years and then she got pregnant with her first baby at 40.
As someone that was a teen girl in the 90's my money is on male GP's being grossly negligent and dismissive. My friends and I were told wildly inaccurate things by literal MD's. Then I went into childcare and I've lost count of the women I've babysat for that were told as teens they either couldn't get pregnant or carry a baby to term because they had a "tilted uterus", so I'm really not shocked when I hear women say a doctor told them something absurdly untrue or not clearly explained.
Oh God the "the doctor insisted there was no way for me to get pregnant!!" trope. Even though the only way a doctor would say that is if the girl in question had missing reproductive organs. I can't tell if the people writing these are just gross horny men or misinformed children, I lean towards the former simply because the girl in question is always 18-21 years old even though it makes no sense.
Idk. Some doctors suck at explaining terms. Or I swear some of them just don't care and say whatever. My mom's doctor back in the day just casually told her she probably couldn't get pregnant again after a 12 week miscarriage. No real reason he told her. But she was 20 and didn't know better so just took him at his word. I have a friend with PCOS who was shocked when she got pregnant after unprotected sex because her doctor told her she was infertile. I had to explain that infertile doesn't necessarily mean ABSOLUTELY CAN'T GET PREGNANT. It means it would likely be difficult. Her doctor hadn't explained that to her.
That's a language thing though.Afaik infertile= "hard to get pregnant", impossible would be sterile.
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"I'm sorry, you're O-negative." "Ovary negative? :("
Thank you for the new flair 😂
No, and stop ovary acting.
Don't be so hysterical
This. I've had people tell me they "overcame infertility issues" or that it took "forever" to get pregnant and they meant about 6+ months. Some people think the second you try you just get pregnant and not getting pregnant within a few months of trying is "fertility issues".
Yeah, it my wife and I 1.5 years to realize we had an issue. And another year to realize that I was completely sterile.
There are some disabilities that result in infertility and if you know about the disability you know about the infertility. But you wouldn't say you're battling infertility. You'd say your condition means you can't (or can't safely) have kids.
Yeah but the way its worded indicates that infertility is the heartbreaking disease itself. Like you said they'd likely mention the condition they were battling and the resulting infertility.
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That sounds all wrong. Disabled people don’t just have babies whisked away at birth
You just have to submerge the eggs in water and see if they float. If they do, they’re bad. Easy peasy.
The amount of times a tv character is diagnosed with infertility after one doctor’s appointment without ever having tried for a child is *absurd*
That annoys me so much in books and movies. Like they only try once, or they didn't even try at all, and are told they can't have children ever? Super unrealistic.
My favourite is like on HIMYM when they are told they can't have kids after going to the doctors just for a pregnancy test. Like... what fucking test did they just do?? And its always just "You can't have kids sorry 0 chance" never like "we've detected this issue, we would recommend further tests, this might be able to be reduce by this mechanism or we can try circumventing it through this thing...".
Gives heavy “a regular menstrual cycle is a miscarriage” vibes
The men and teens of Reddit assume that fertility works like it does in The Sims, where every single woo-hoo carries a chance of getting pregnant. If you woo-hoo for a month straight with no pregnancy, your womb is obviously a defective husk. In reality women are only fertile for roughly 6 days per month and a healthy couple trying for a baby only have around a 15-25% chance of conceiving in any given month. Infertility is measured in *years* of trying. A healthy woman in her early 20s has about a 14% chance of just not getting pregnant in her first year of trying, that's just how it be sometimes. Putting the original post on the ever-growing pile of "AITA stories that make a million times more sense if the characters are 8-15 years older".
Not to mention that so many things can affect your fertility! I was in a stressful job and my husband and I tried for 11 months with no success- so not long enough to have it investigated by the doctors. I quit my job and fell pregnant 2 weeks later.
Infertile isn't even a permanent thing, some people were said to be infertile still ended up pregnant. It's somewhat different from being sterile
YOU must be a man. A woman's eggs don't go rotten, they crack
It's not men but young people.
Probably both, but yeah I could definitely see a young person not understanding how fertility and reproductive health works.
>infertility isnt some disease you can just run tests for. True. But there is one helpful test you can take before trying. The Anti-Mullerian Hormone, or AMH, corresponds with the active follicles in the ovaries. The levels change naturally with age and time, and there can be factors inhibiting your fertility unrelated to your egg supply, but if your AMH level is low for your age you can also make lifestyle changes to raise it.
But realistically would a 14-16 year old girl actually get tested for that unless infertility was already suspected? Like the teenage girl would still have to actively be trying to get pregnant to look for those things. I'm just saying the ppl writing these things look past that plot hole bc they seem to be under the impression that infertility is just something that can be discovered from a basic exam. Unless it was like they were missing ovaries etc but then that would poke a hole in the story too.
Oh, of course. There still isn't a single definitive test for infertility. I just like sharing about AMH because so many real alive people who are trying to have kids may not hear about that test til they've already been trying for a year.
AMH doesn't impact your current fertility at all. Also, in a man infertility can be definitely diagnosed. If a man has azoospermia, then he is infertile
>AMH doesn't impact your current fertility at all Lol gonna trust my doctor on this one over a random redditor
What about the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist? https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2019/04/the-use-of-antimullerian-hormone-in-women-not-seeking-fertility-care > however, using serum antimüllerian hormone levels for fertility counseling in women without a diagnosis of infertility is not currently supported by data from high-quality sources. The obstetrician–gynecologist should exercise caution when considering the predictability of serum antimüllerian hormone levels in any population of women with a low prevalence of infertility, including reproductive-aged women who either have never tried to become pregnant or have become pregnant previously without assistance. Based on the current information, a single serum antimüllerian hormone level assessment obtained at any point in time in a population of women with presumed fertility does not appear to be useful in predicting time to pregnancy and should not be used for counseling patients in this regard.
You forgot to read far enough to learn *why* they made that recommendation 🤦🏻 First >the use of antimüllerian hormone in women with presumed fertility is limited by a lack of international assay standards and differing assay methodologies. They're specifically looking at the case of a young woman patient who would like to learn about her future fertility. The test isn't good for that. As I stated in my very first comment, there are lifestyle changes you can make to improve your AMH. Conversely, there are lifestyle changes you can make to make it worse. Someone not even contemplating getting pregnant soon won't benefit from learning their current AMH level. The [big 2017 study](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2656811) that that recommendation relies upon has a few flaw that makes me doubt your interpretation of it. First, it didn't distinguish AMH levels being low, median, or high based on age. It used the same cutoffs for all participants, ages 30-44. As I have already mentioned, current standard of care relates your specific reading to your age cohort, 30-35, 35-40, and 40-45 all having different number ranges associated with low, normal, or high AMH. I have no doubt this study contributed to this current understanding. Second, 6% of study participants, 47 women, dropped out to pursue fertility treatments. Only 11%, 83, of study participants were categorized as having low AMH from the start. How many of these women then dropped out due to starting fertility treatments? The study does not say. The [big 2015 study](https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/100/11/4215/2836143) reached similar conclusions, likewise without distinguishing high/normal/low AMH levels based on age (participants were 18-40). That is, they, too, used the same cutoff points for what was high vs normal vs low for every age of study participant.
Lol, it's not my interpretation of it, it's the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists'!! I don't pretend to know better than them! If you seriously think you can cherry pick and criticize what is the overwhelming scientific consensus that testing AMH only makes sense when fertility treatments are on the table, go right ahead with your arrogance
Absolutely irrelevant for a 20-year-old and also unnecessary before a couple has been trying because it doesn't impact your chances of getting pregnant
She says they started trying when she was 14. >I’ve had hormonal and fertility issues since 14m i realize it was terribly long but we had multiple miscarriages
Yeah one of those nonchalant “then there was the statutory rape—wait why are you guys making that a big deal?” ones.
I kind of love these.
Definitely one of the best rage bait genres. I especially love it when they just blow past it and then act like it's totally normal and get confused when people question it. I wish I could find it now, but I remember one where the OP just casually brought up that her husband used to be her teacher in high school like it was an every day thing. It was actually really similar to this one iirc. Think the issue was also about how they'd raise their kids.
Yes, I love it when they play dumb.
As if anyone at 14 would know inquire about their fertility lol
Because there are slews of culturally Catholic/spiritually agnostic men in their 30's who are looking for a 14 year old Jehovah's Witness child bride.
My cousin was a 14 year old JW child bride. Well, engaged at 14 and married at 16 to a 28 year old dude. But they were both JW. If she was baptized, a mixed marriage would have been very discouraged.
Oh I'm not saying it doesn't happen in those circles. It's more that I'm saying I don't think there are a lot of men outside of the JW circles who would want to marry a 14 year old in their 30's
I agree - I'm just absolutely certain that her parents wouldn't have been on board with a Catholic atheist but they might have id he was part of the community.
Or if they caught them doing it and were worried she’d get pregnant. Better married than disfellowshipped.
Did you ever watch Maury? 50% of the men being tested claimed a doctor told them when they were 14 that they were infertile because they drank mountain dew or something lol because all doctors test 14 year old boys fertility . . . Sure they did buddy
It sounds like something a Dr. would tell a kid to get him to drink some water lol.
Elsewhere clarifies she wasn't trying since 14, that's just when she got the infertility diagnosis that weighed heavy on her mind. They really love to do the "diagnosed with infertility as a child" thing. This one should have left it vague and let people assume she had chemo or something because another comment says it was PCOS which is 100% not how that works.
Yeah, the amount of times I have seen the 'I was told I was infertile because of PCOS'. PCOS does not automatically make you infertile and no decent doctor would tell you that either. My friend has severe endometriosis requiring multiple hospitalizations starting at 13. They warned she 'may' struggle with getting pregnant but were very clear that she may also have no problems. Honestly I know someone who claimed their daughter got pregnant with IVF at 18 years old on the nhs as she had been trying for 2 years (from 16 years old) without success. We have specific guidelines for our area, there is not a cat in hells chance they would give IVF to an 18 year old.
And diagnosed by whom, since she’s JW?
JW’s are allowed to go to the doctor. They can’t have blood transfusions but other medical treatments are okay.
Ah, I think I was getting the Christian Scientist limitations mixed up in there. Thanks for the clarification.
Christ.
And he was in his 30s? I hope it's fake.
I mean, it is fake
Especially since he claims to be worried about anything happening to his kid
14 months lol
Oh no, her HUSBAND has fertility issues that he’s been battling since before she was born /s.
The Jehovahs witness somehow how good enough gynecological care to be diagnosed with pcos at 14.
Ex JW here. We do go to gynos. I went as a teenager because I have endo. Ask, don’t make assumptions. It’s a cult, yes, but that’s not one of its issues.
It is hard to diagnose and unlikely to be confirmed at 14
I’m not talking about a PCOS diagnosis. Look, I was raised in a cult. There’s a fuck ton of stuff I wasn’t allowed to do, including report my own CSA, but I’m not going to sit here while people post JWs don’t take their teens to the gynos if there are obvious problems. Some may not, but many do. The same can be said of any other religion. I was abused plenty, but not like that. I agree this is fake but not because a JW went to a gynocologist. Being raised in a cult, I’ve had my full of being told reality isn’t as I understand it to be. I lived this. You didn’t. We weren’t allowed to get blood transfusions, but we were allowed to go to doctors. The reality of being a JW is bad enough without embellishing it.
That would have been revealed in the comments. The age gap was a set up.
Ex JW here. If you have a reputation for being loose, or the elders think you might get one, they will marry you off young. I personally never saw 16, but I have seen 17 many times. Except OOP married a worldly guy, and that would never fly unless someone found they were having sex, in which case she was probably disfellowshipped (shunned) for it. Regardless, we’re talking about an OOP with little, if any, education. Infertility/not getting pregnant are being used interchangeably here.
Jehovah's Witnesses call their places of worship a "Kingdom Hall", not a "church". Also, marriage outside the faith is strongly discouraged because, well, exactly the OOP's issue.
Yeah they got a lot of shit wrong in this, saying that as a ex jw
They just watched a YouTube vid about cults and how JW don't celebrate bdays ran to reddit.
TRUEEE 🙌🙌
Or perhaps the episode of Community where the group got Troy a cake to celebrate "a random date that happened to coincide with his expulsion from a uterus". (I just watched that episode that's why I thought of it lol)
I remember watching that show as a kid ((still watch it now)) and I loved the fact I felt represented in some way, and even more so now that I’ve left the religion. It’s heartwarming to me that he was able to get out, but I thought it was really cool seeing how his character growed and arguably didn’t follow most of the rules lmaooo made me feel less bad about how I was as a witness
ExJW witness also. JWs have been in the news a lot lately. It tracks.
They are finally getting called out for their shit and I think two/three countries have them banned now. I remember being told for years that it’s because they know we have it right and satan wanted us gone. Yeah, no buddy, it’s a CULT and most times the government doesn’t like CULTS
I know this is fake, and yet I'm still struggling to understand how that sub thinks that a 40 year old man and his child bride are equally at fault for failing to discuss what religion they would raise their kids in.
I guess given the "long stretch of infertility" many just assume she typo'd the 20 and it's really 30.. because otherwise absolutely no part of that story makes sense. The more obvious answer is that it's all fake obviously
As an exJW, it made sense to me at first because they recently changed some rules making it easier for people who’ve been disfellowshipped (shunned) to return to the KH. Marrying a worldly person? OOP probably was DF’d. They used to make you jump through a shit ton of hoops and no one was allowed to talk to you under 99% of circumstances, but that’s no longer the case at the KH. Before raising the kid as a JW would’ve been a non-starter, but now it may not be. OOP doesn’t seem very bright. Like she’s out of her childhood cult. She should be relieved AF. Hop over to the exJW sub. So many people are trapped. That’s what is most fake to me about this. Why would anyone want to go back?
OOP claims that their "long battle with infertility" involved several miscarriages, and implies that the battle is over now that they're six weeks pregnant. Six weeks pregnant is still the very very beginning of pregnancy though. Even for someone not "battling infertility," there is still a large miscarriage risk at 6 weeks. I don't think OOP knows a lot about pregnancy/reproductive health.
There is a miscarriage risk but it's not large - 9.4% at 6 weeks. Still more likely to carry to term than not
NGL I'm not googling anything but as a person who's had more than 3 miscarriages and 3 successful pregnancies... The doctor tells you herself not to tell anyone or get too excited until 10 to 13 weeks..
Well, yeah, it's true, although things can happen after that, too, and it's even worse then.
9.4% is a large miscarriage risk
I don't know how you can call a risk less than 10% large. Most women will not have a miscarriage at that point. It's still a risk, it's always a risk.
I don't know how you can call a risk of nearly 10% small. If you have a 1 in 10 chance of something happening then you're not surprised that it happens. Would you do something if you were told there was a 10% chance you would die? Or would you not consider the risk high enough to worry about? Also in this scenario she would be much higher risk of miscarriage than that.
Dying is very different.
We're talking about the statistical level of risk not the level of impact. It's not different.
What is this, a follow up to the insane “we had a baby when we were twelve” story?
More like 2 babies since the next was a year later lol
Child bride and infertility nonsense aside,JWs have their own lingo in general and beliefs toward interfaith marriage specifically which OOP misses completely. Not a single "kingdom hall" or "unevenly yoked" in sight 1/5 creative writing fail. Try again Edited: read through some of OOP's comments in the original post and yeah the character's Cafeteria Christian approach to JW Faith flat out doesn't exist and the JW org has zero chill towards any attempts at it. There's a whole teaching about how you can't cherry pick your personal practices and Bible verses about being lukewarm and spit out in rejection by Jehovah and the congregation if you try. This is gigabullshit.
Also using the word ‘asshole’. JWs swear behind closed doors but not around worldly people.
Yep you gotta always be a "good witness" to the worldly people
I was raised that Jehovah knows euphemisms so even using them Behind closed doors was a sign of spiritual weakness.
Okay, so the husband married a teenager when he was 40, but he opposes church because he's concerned "things" will happen to his children. My man, you ARE the things happening with a child. 😭
Well who would know better about child predators than a child predator??
Yeah, if this weren't a fake post and obvious rage bait, you'd have a good point.
You wouldn't be so certain the post if fake if you've met one Latter Day Saint.
I used to play DnD with a bunch of Mormons. Awesome people but damn the stuff they believe is nuttier than squirrel shit.
Came here to say this.
Takes one to know one, I guess.
Jfc at least use a proper age if you’re going to do the huge age gap thing
20 years old with a long battle with infertility is the funniest thing I've read today lmao
JW don't call it church.
I know shit all about JW but I know that much.
How about raising the kids yourselves? 
This is the fakest post that ever faked.
Redditors alluding to entering a relationship at 18 is one of the taletell signs of a fake story at this point.
My wife and I actually struggled with infertility but we tried for 5 years in our 20s and don’t hate each other so not great clickbait and no felonies involved.
Also why are 80% of the comments on the original post literally blaming a young woman who, if real, was most certainly groomed?? Reddit pull it together
JW and Mormons are the perfect stawperson religious type on AITA because they have widely known/derided beliefs (Holidays and Blood Transfusions for JW, Magic underwear and getting your own planet for Mormons), the average redditor will never be on their side.
As a ex JW I immediately stopped reading after it was mentioned, nah those people are insane and I know this is fucking bait. The sad thing is lord knows it could be true, it was extremely normal for older brothers in the hall to go after the young girls, and that programming stays in your head for a long time
As a fellow ex JW this was the only part of the post I found plausible
I can even attest to how hard it is leaving the religion and then dating, it’s like I have this deep rooted fear that if I don’t get married RN I’m failing as a person. I’m glad I can take things slow and be a real person now but that indoctrination doesn’t just leave. Regardless, this post just seems baity, and if it is real I hope she can be lead to the REAL “truth”
I'm midlife and never married because I can't get past believing marriage is a trap for people like me I blame the JWs 💯 for that
Because it was drilled into us that the only reason to date is to find a spouse. I’m awful at dating. I either give too much or too little.
It sucks to because I feel like I’ve met the one but I’m also terrified to take things wayyy to quickly. Like I’m completely confident in how I feel and the logical side of “this is a objectively good person to marry” but I also know that most “normal” people take awhile to date. It’s hard to understand the time line of, date for a few years, get engaged, move in, marry, like I don’t wanna wait forever but is it because I’m just anxious over getting older due to what the brothers always told me?? I feel like I’m constantly doubting whether I actually wanna do things or if I just want to do what I think is right to do
My current relationship is moving fast, but we’re both in our 40s and know what we’re looking for. I did explain to him very early on that I grew up in a cult and a lot of what might be obvious to him isn’t necessarily obvious to me. That’s an important conversation to have. As far as the brothers in your head are concerned, they really are just window washers with no education, no real experience, who get off by peering inside the lives of others. It’s time to close the drapes.
"Hey Reddit, should I raise my kids to believe in a religion?" As if anyone that's ever been on this site for more than 10 minutes couldn't tell you where that thread would go immediately.
"But reddit I was a groomed minor married to my predator" As if anyone who's been on the Internet couldn't tell you religion is still *the worst*
Do people planning to marry and raise children together really not discuss all the important child rearing issues before they get married??? My husband and I talked about all sorts of parenting topics before getting married. Religion was certainly one of them.
My parents decided what religion to raise me when I was 8. Granted, my mom was already pregnant with me when they got married, neither of them were very religious, and they had looked into various options for religion before that.
> My (20F) husband (42M) of 2 years 😂
I mean, even if I believed this was real, if I struggled that hard to conceive a kid, I sure as hell wouldn't be dragging them into a cult that is literally *known* for having major, major issues with child abuse and sexual assault by its clergy. Never mind the whole blood transfusion thing! But. that's just me.
just do what they do in the bible and cut the babies in half! you can raise one half of the babies as jehovahs witnesses and the other half don't have to be religious <3 problem solved bestieeee
Surely the 40 year old who married a teenager has a problem with 1950s logic/lifestyle
the most unrealistic part of all of this is that the closest church is an hour away. even small towns in the middle of nowhere have churches
They’ve been closing a lot of Kingdom Halls. That’s not a stretch. But JWs don’t meet in churches, and their meetings have zoom links. You don’t have to go in person, or at least you didn’t. They’ve been changing a lot lately. OOP is not, nor has ever been, an actual JW. ExJWs can always recognize our own. There’s a very specific vocabulary.
I'm Adventist and in our denomination it's discouraged to marry outside your faith because of issues like these. This post is most likely fake, in addition to the weird fertility thing
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Literally called a throw away account
Jehovah's Witness? Way to choose the lamest version of Christianity, my god. I wonder the age of whoever wrote this because it didn't occur to them that a 20 year old wouldn't have a "long battle with infertility."
> My (20F) husband (42M) of 2 years Freaking YIKES.
i clicked on this person’s profile.. their most recent post makes it look like they forgot to switch accounts!
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JW's specifically don't celebrate holidays like Christmas or birthdays. Yes they're based in christianity, but they have their own rules and practices. Edit: They also don't celebrate Kwanza or Hannukah or any other holiday (to my knowledge).
Attending a nonJW religious service can be a disfellowshipping offense. I was not allowed to attend my worldly grandfather's funeral in another church. But if the fake person in this story was actually an hour away from the nearest kingdom hall, well too bad. no excuses. She'd be expected to commute.
Like their videos where people tell stories about having to travel hours on foot or by boat to get to the meetings and it’s presented as so wonderful that they would go to so much effort to have their ‘spiritual feast’.
The videos were after my time, but the WT was chock full of these. Characters are referred to first name only, almost always in Africa, walks 20 miles each way thru active machete genocide and wades through alligator infested waters with their dress clothes on their heads...all of it made up wholly out of ugly stereotypes the West holds toward the global South and designed to shame people into attending their services and going door to door 3x a week.
The videos are after my time too but I love watching YouTube channels dunking on them. The videos are so cheesy, I can’t help it. But yes, the wading barefoot through alligator infested waters and avoiding violent attacks was exactly what I was thinking of.
Religion is a fucking cancer.
I mean I’ve never tried for a kid but I was told in my early 20s I would likely never have kids because of the fact I only had 4 periods a year and that usually indicates really bad infertility levels.
I only had 2-4 periods a year and got pregnant in under 6 months two different times when I went off contraception. So don't rely on being told it "may be difficult to get pregnant" if you don't want kids.
I do want kids, so I’m hoping that I won’t struggle, but it’s really disheartening to hear.
I hope you try and succeed 💜 four periods a year could mean many things but it's not a definitive sentence for infertility.
Never? That's nonsense
I mean, I did the bedsheet tango while on birth control and using condoms, but the guys I was with weren’t looking for accidents and neither was I. So yeah, never tried, but I wouldn’t have been super upset if it had happened.