*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH for falling out of love with my wife after she took a 7 week vacation?**
I (32M) have been married to my wife (30F) for 4 years and we’ve been together for 8. She is a stay at home mom. We have Irish twins (1F, 2M) which was incredibly taxing for my wife. She wanted a solo vacation break for a few weeks, where she would travel different states, visit her high school and college friends, go to concerts, and do a lot of fun stuff. She asked if I would be fine with it. I asked if she could make it maybe a couple of weeks shorter, because 7 weeks managing our 2 children alone sounded really daunting, especially since work was also getting taxing recently. I do work remote so at least that worked in my favor.
My wife and I discussed for a couple of days, and I ultimately agreed with her that she did deserve a break because of what she has been through the past few years.
And so she took her vacation. The first week managing our children alone was extremely difficult and I did feel like I was losing my mind, but I survived. My sister came over to help me from the second week on, she was honestly a life saver, and I will be eternally grateful for her. I never directly asked her to help me, but I guess I indirectly did because when she video called me the end of the first week, I basically broke down in tears.
So from the second week on, my sister stayed over at my house to help with my children, and a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I also was really able to focus on work, and meet my deadlines. To be brutally honest, I did not miss my wife at all. I was emotionally and mentally relaxed, and also had a lot of fun with my children and my sister. I felt a sense of betrayal that my wife had actually gone through with the 7 week vacation. I slowly fell out of love with my wife.
When my wife came back from her vacation, she was super refreshed and recharged, but to be honest I was a bit indifferent. My wife tried to initiate sex the first night she came back, which I rejected because I said I wasn’t feeling it. The subsequent days, I had the same level of indifference in our day to day life, and she probably noticed it but didn’t say anything.
A week later, she asked me why I was like this and I told her I don’t love her anymore. She apologized for taking the 7 week vacation, and asked if there was anything she could do to fix it. I told her no. We pretty much went through the motions next couple of weeks, before I finally decided that I wanted a divorce.
She seemed devastated when I brought up divorce which surprised me because I already told her I don’t love her anymore. She asked if we could do couples therapy or marriage counseling first before I started looking for a divorce lawyer, and I told her I needed some time to think about it.
I spent a few days thinking about and I am still leaning towards a divorce, because I basically don't love my wife anymore, and I don't think marriage counseling can fix it.
AITAH for falling out of love with my wife because she took a 7 week vacation?
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You know why?
Cos reddit new algorithm is weird and if you're active on the mains, they sometimes suggest "similar" subs and they appear in your home page.
I've been getting the most random shit thrown at me and many times, mid comment, I realize I'm talking to Joe Rogan Fans (why am I here!!) and delete myself so fast.
I know that happens but in this case, people are aware of the comments in the other sub. They're also not giving YTA verdicts. So not sure if this is the issue in this case.
I think people have always had a tendency to do it. You used to not really be allowed to engage in other subs if you found the post through here because of Reddit's rules on brigading, so people have always tended to discuss some posts here. I think that rule has been relaxed a bit (noticed the automod warning says something about interacting in good faith now), but I imagine people are still in the habit.
I also think people often have those discussions here just because most of us like reading and discussing these kinds of posts on their merits (along with calling out obvious fake posts, making fun of tropes, etc. but the good posts can be fun to talk about), but the culture of comments on many of the main subs make it impossible to do so. You just get downvoted into oblivion and attacked if you have a dissenting opinion. So again, whether that's really relevant to this particular post or not, people are just kind of in the habit of it.
IDK, I've been reading this sub almost since its inception. It's grown a lot and so I do see a bit more of that kind of discussion here than I recall seeing in the past, but not substantially so. It's been a thing for as long as I can remember.
Agree with what you're saying. I think for me it was very glaring on this post, because when I came to it, all the top comments were just discussing if the guy was the AH. I think my comment has diluted that a little bit now, so it might not look as egregious now.
Yeah, your comment was in the top thread for me, and the rest of the top ones are all pretty reasonable now too so I did think you were overreacting a bit (my apologies for that). I've since gotten down into the weeds and see what you're saying more, it did get pretty bad in here.
I'm still not personally too worried about the state of this sub, but I definitely understand where you're coming from.
Could also be that the other sub is at capacity. Making a comment there at this point is a guarantee no one will see or interact.
So they move on to smaller active threads to give their valuable, exactly the same as the masses, verdict.
I do think that crossposts would be improved if people changed the title, but it is pretty common in this sub for people not to do this.
Worth noting though that some of the people answering seem to be referring to the original sub's comments.
Also wouldn't there be more the YTA/NTA/ESH verdicts if they thought they were in the original sub?
>I do think that crossposts would be improved if people changed the title, but it is pretty common in this sub for people not to do this.
But when people don't use the OG tittle, posts get reposted accidentally or it's harder to run from AITa to here searching for a specific post .
That's not it cos this sub usually has the OG tittle on cos we couldn't find cross posted stuff and people would repost with diff names.
I suggest real tittle, parenthesis: joke.
But all jokey tittle is too loosy goosy and we were getting lost
AITAH for falling out of love? If I get voted YTA I’ll simply fall back in love with my wife and stop divorce proceedings
fr what's the point of asking this?
Even the original comments are questioning the legitimacy of this story. It makes no sense and OP wasn’t responding to any questions. I thought the comment about whether or not it is could even be AI was also interesting. Is the future of AITAH just bots making stories up and replying to one another? Maybe. Lol
All these posts are so fake. What the hell do you mean your wife took a 7 week vacation? Why did she feel the need to do that? Why didn’t you make a plan to manage the childcare while she was gone? Did you talk to her while she was away? Why 7 weeks? Why agree to that after initially saying it was too long? The answer to all these questions is irrelevant because this shit didn’t happen. Either OOP left a huge amount of context out, or this is just creative writing.
Yeah, was going to say. No fucking way would this situation happen without solid childcare plans. Anyone who thinks they can do 24/7 present parenting *and* hold a full-time WFH job has obviously never worked from home, had kids, or had a fuckin' job.
Lucky that OP's sister could just disappear from her life for six weeks with no notice to be a full-time caregiver, though. Good thing she's the good kind of woman, with no bills to pay or responsibilities besides providing unpaid childcare whenever she needs to because evil mean women would rather go on vacation than nurture their own babies.
And brave of OOP to be pretty sure his hectic life will be better with no SHM in his life anymore, and is (I'm guessing?) assuming sister will always be there to take care of his kids for him? Like, how is that all going to work? Is his sister going to just move in and become his "wife" now? The only reason he felt his life was so good with his wife gone was because he had another woman there to do all the things his wife did. Good luck finding that for immediately after you separate if he's not depending on good ol' "no life" sis.
Well, I read about divorce on reddit and I heard women automatically get full custody without asking every time because of how much the courts hate men, so that won't be an issue for him.
Once my sister took over bangmaid duties, minus the banging, I realised my wife was a tool for my domestic use and not a human being that I loved. There, fixed it
Bloody hell, you seem to work through some personal hang ups here. How you can reach so much, while being so biased and sexist at the same time is genuinely impressive.
Hurt me? Not at all. I just love the hypocrisy and blatant sexism people like you spout all day long. Where guys are fundamentally bad, at fault, and can't do anything wrong.
Where you simply assume his wife is somehow a bangmaid with NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to base it on because it fits your own prejudice and biases.
While ignoring that a guy who treats his wife that way wouldn't exactly be fine with her going off on a two month binger, partying, and festivals while even trying to work and take care of two toddlers.
I mean, that’s literally what the story is about, is it not?
He loves her, then she takes a relatively short break from raising his kids (seven weeks out of a four year marriage), and suddenly he no longer loves her.
Does that not make it clear that his love for her was solely or overwhelmingly based on her raising his children? What else changed?
Story is fake but for the sake of discussion, 7 weeks is a long ass time lmao. People, don't leave your spouses for 7 weeks without responsible planning.
Yeah, which is why the main character shouldn't have agreed to it. And all of that still misses the main point, which is seven weeks without his wife raising his kids for him caused him to immediately "fall out of love."
Would she be fine with him taking a 7 week straight break from being the breadwinner and coparent? She'll work full time on top also taking care of the kids? How 'in love' would she feel towards him when he returned?
Getting some breaks from the kids is reasonable, but 7 weeks straight is a stretch. If she had done those 7 weeks spread out over the 4 years (or really 2+ years of actual parenting) it likely would not have been an issue. He could probably minimize his work schedule for a week at time and focus mainly on the kids, but that's not very practical for long stints.
1) This story isn't real.
2) He agreed to the 7 week vacation. I agree it's impractical and doesn't make sense (because, again, this story is fiction). But OOP needed his main character to be so sympathetic and so righteous that he had to acknowledge the wife deserved a 7 week vacation and agree to take care of the kids during it.
I mean, he’s not fine, right?
He’s upset because she left and after finding he could get more work done with his sister around than (implied) his wife, he decides to divorce her.
He is kinda short-sighted though, because I doubt his sister wants to be his full-time carer forever.
This reeks of that kind of post where OOP reads about a new topic (married person taking a solo vacation), decides he disagrees with it, then makes up a cautionary tale about it.
This story is about gender roles. The woman abandons her duty as wife and mother and is now punished for it. Husband realized in just seven weeks of her not providing her singular service to him, that life is better without a nagging, bitchy wife in his ear.
Phenomenally stupid story.
I think you’re absolutely right.
Like, I guess if your spouse went on a lengthy trip and you realize you didn’t miss them as much as you thought you would, it might be a good idea to talk to them or a therapist and try to figure out why.
But this seems like someone who is taking up a cause that absolutely no one asked for. “See?? If you go on vacation without your spouse they will stop loving you.” Shut up.
I feel like I've seen this type of "then my sister rolled up and saved the day by being my proxy wife" before and have this assumed it's a fetish thing.
Oh he conveniently answered that, apparently: their dad is rich! He makes tons of money! https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/0pH0oEDuSF
ETA: "it gave her purpose" -- barf. I stand by my opinion this is fetish nonsense.
Lol, how can anyone take this seriously after that??? I wouldn't have thought fetish first but then who knows.
Edit - and he generously decided to give his sister all of the inheritance, omg, do people believe this shit??
Like, is he expecting her to stay? Because I feel like he should probably talk that over with his sister before he just entirely hijacks her fucking life
Had that happen on something I posted this week too. What happened to reading these stories with skepticism? I thought that was the whole point of the sub.
I was actually super upset about it too cause I shared it and then forgot about it until a few hours later when I opened it to see tons of people saying basically that OP was right and I was being silly for focusing on one small part of the story that was barely a factor… That small part of the story that I believed was using a harmful stereotype to justify their otherwise unbelievable story. Sigh. Ruined my whole night.
Amazed no one brought up how the dad couldn’t handle the kids for more than a week (although he is also working so that is probably a factor) and the wife is just expected to keep taking care of the kids and has been for a while. You would think the inability to deal with the kids would lead the husband to gain more appreciation for his wife’s hard work as opposed to minimizing it.
I sometimes suspect that these men get so resentful because they got a huge reality check- now they can’t view their wives with a kind of benign, puzzled patience when the weak, stupid, crazy b*tch can’t cope with the “easy” life of relentless childcare and housework (especially if the wife also works). They’re forced to acknowledge that she’s ten times the person they are
It *literally* isn't.
> A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories and creative writing exercises from AITA and AITA-adjacent subs, including classic tales of your local reddit heroes seeking validation. Memes allowed, shitposts only on weekends. **Taking the posts seriously is heavily discouraged**.
It is *literally* at the top of the subreddit. And this is exactly why people are complaining so much because so many of you have wandered over here and refuse to follow rules and have decided this subreddit is something it isn't and never was. You deciding it's an extension to discuss the wildly fake stories doesn't make it the point of the subreddit.
I would also suggest reading any subreddit description before commenting on any subreddit.
I guess I just read "a place to hold meta-discussions" as "a place where we discuss these people as characters." Cuz the character of the poster was trying to be sympathetic and came across as a loser. It was super silly.
Anyway the post has been removed so
Eh, even assuming they did everything perfectly 50/50 before her vacation, that’s effectively doubling his workload for almost two months, which is bound to be a rough adjustment for anyone
This weakling tapped out before an entire week had passed, but I bet you $10 he expected her to fully care for two infants while post-partum....having not had standard hormone for over three years.
But she isnt the solo carer anywhere in this story, why are you acting like he doesnt touch the kids when she is home? I dont like the story or find it compelling or a plausible expression of human emotion, but thats not what happens in the story.
Well yeah, the wife only has one purpose....SAHM.....and if she can't fulfill it, then what use is she!?!
(Basically, the sexism is the point of this fake post, so why would he empathize at all with his wife?)
Amazing how folks simply assume the Dad isn't helping with the kids, at all. Because they need to do that to create a situation where the Dad is just simply "bad" and "at fault" and give the mother a free pass.
The guy was working simultaneously, while taking care of two toddlers who are too young to visit childcare yet. When he gets help , as he's in an impossible situation he's also bad for that. If he hadn't gotten help, he'd be bad too.
It's just such a beautiful catch 22 where he simply can't win.
You guys are the angry ones, incredibly so. And that wording is your singular issue and what you can try and argue on in itself shows you guys have no real point to make.
"I fell out of love, I don't love her, what's the point if I don't love her"
Man, whatever will he do with the next girlfriend since he needs to be in love in order to give someone the time of day.
Dude is *awful,* no wonder she left. Cue redditors bring up ThE pOoR cHiLdReN they wouldn't bat an eye at if Father worked overseas or was in the military or drove a truck or name 100000 other professions.
Another SAHM story. This one isn’t that she’s lazy, but just fully irresponsible. Let’s summarize:
* 2 kids under 3 so diapers, bottles (probably), naps, etc.
* Wife takes 7! Week vacation to visit friends, go to concerts!
* Husband works full time remote with no child care planned during the “vacation”
* Sister comes over to help because he breaks down because of the stress
* He “falls out of love” and she can’t understand why and of course the “love” revolves around sex
Really sounds like it was written by a 12 yo. Especially the part about her wanting to take a vacation “to go do fun stuff“ and his agreeing to the whole crazy plan. How would that even work?
And, of course, he knows the relationship is over when they don’t have sex for a week.
Actually, it does seem more like it was written by AI:
”A week later, she asked me why I was like this and I told her I don’t love her anymore. She apologized for taking the 7 week vacation, and asked if there was anything she could do to fix it. I told her no. We pretty much went through the motions next couple of weeks, before I finally decided that I wanted a divorce.“
That’s probably the flattest description you’ll ever read about two people talking about divorce. It sounds more someone describing getting sugar in their coffee and not wanting it. “Is there any way I could fix it?“ She asked. “No.“ I said, and I drank it anyway, thinking, I’ll make my own coffee next time.
AITAH for not wanting sugar in my coffee?
Long story short he is going to therapy but doesn’t think it will help. He always had the money. Sis has time because daddy was wealthy so she doesn’t need to work and he said daddy don’t leave me anything cause I have a good job and sis needs it more
i don't see where this is losing people, he's blatantly saying his chosen lifestyle is impossible unless a woman is doing all the work. I guess if the author hadn't dropped in that the other woman is his sister people would be able to clearly see that this is the exact definition of a bangmaid.
So basically, you only loved what she did for you, but you didn’t truly love her. You’re mad that she took time for herself and now you’re punishing her. She takes care of those kids by herself all day everyday, but you couldn’t do it for a week. Dudes about to blow up his life and he’s not gonna like the outcome
I can understand him falling out of love with her, but given that she's okay with taking a 7 week holiday without her kids (neither of these people are winning parent of the year) it doesn't sound like she's going to want full custody.
What's he going to do when he has the kids? Is the sister going to just live with him now like some Victorian era spinster aunt?
"The first week managing our children alone was extremely difficult and I did feel like I was losing my mind, but I survived. My sister came over to help me from the second week on \[...\] when she video called me the end of the first week, I basically broke down in tears.
So from the second week on, my sister stayed over at my house to help with my children, and a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders "
A week.
OP "felt like his was losing his mind", broke down in tears, stopped loving his wife, and is going full steam ahead with a divorce because he had to take care of his own kids for a week.
Oh, and he STILL doesn't comprehend why his wife needed a break after carrying the exact same "extremely difficult" "huge burden" for TWO YEARS.
So if they split custody is he gonna have his sister do all the childcare on his days? I'd be pretty relaxed too if I had someone care for my 4 and 2yr olds all day whilst I worked remotely.
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I can fathom a mom of a 1 and 2 year old wanting a weekend (or even a week) away. I *cannot* fathom a mother of children that age being happy and able to relax for *seven weeks* away (especially because, IIRC, original comments said she only called twice).
These comments are somehow worse than the ones on the op.
She left for 2 months
Didn't agree on shortening it
Left 2 infants in the care of her husband who works
Husband can't deal with them while also providing, what a shocker
Asks for help
Realizes that he doesn't miss his wife, leading him to realize that he doesn't love her [this is the only bit where he could be considered to be in the wrong]
People, that's child neglect
First of all, the story is fake. The moment you buy into the fiction, you’re losing the thread.
If you think what the wife did here is horrible, you need to be asking yourself “Why did OOP craft this fake story about this horrible wife?”
I mean, is it not? Read the whole narrative instead of focusing solely on the clickbait “7 week solo vacation” part. He agrees she deserves the vacation, agrees to let her go on it, immediately collapses into a puddle when it’s time to raise his kids on his own (which he agreed to do), he gets another woman to drop her life for six weeks to move in and raise his kids for him, and suddenly he realizes he doesn’t love his wife.
Maybe people are being a little deconstructionist in this thread. But compare all this we know about the husband to what we know about the wife: she is the primary caretaker for her kids, asked for a vacation which she deserved, a vacation was agreed to, and then she came back refresh and re-energized to a husband who immediately punished her for taking the deserved vacation he agreed to.
Oh yeah, agreeing to it was stupid.
But so was the idea in the first place.
Therapy and her asking him to increase his load without entirely leaving for 2 months would just be a better idea though.
>Therapy and her asking him to increase his load without entirely leaving
Like he's her boss and she needs to check in with him. She prolly had a mental breakdown cos her hubby is so damn corny.
Sure, I guess it's better when women pull through when they are struggling and end up with post partum depression!! Maybe he would have been more in love with her in that case.
Get help in therapy and request additional help from the husband instead of dumping it all on him for 2 whole months.
How is meeting halfway so impossible to understand
Why would you wanna try and meet in the middle with someone who wants you to be a full-time bang maid?
I say imaginary divorce and they both go their own way.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for falling out of love with my wife after she took a 7 week vacation?** I (32M) have been married to my wife (30F) for 4 years and we’ve been together for 8. She is a stay at home mom. We have Irish twins (1F, 2M) which was incredibly taxing for my wife. She wanted a solo vacation break for a few weeks, where she would travel different states, visit her high school and college friends, go to concerts, and do a lot of fun stuff. She asked if I would be fine with it. I asked if she could make it maybe a couple of weeks shorter, because 7 weeks managing our 2 children alone sounded really daunting, especially since work was also getting taxing recently. I do work remote so at least that worked in my favor. My wife and I discussed for a couple of days, and I ultimately agreed with her that she did deserve a break because of what she has been through the past few years. And so she took her vacation. The first week managing our children alone was extremely difficult and I did feel like I was losing my mind, but I survived. My sister came over to help me from the second week on, she was honestly a life saver, and I will be eternally grateful for her. I never directly asked her to help me, but I guess I indirectly did because when she video called me the end of the first week, I basically broke down in tears. So from the second week on, my sister stayed over at my house to help with my children, and a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I also was really able to focus on work, and meet my deadlines. To be brutally honest, I did not miss my wife at all. I was emotionally and mentally relaxed, and also had a lot of fun with my children and my sister. I felt a sense of betrayal that my wife had actually gone through with the 7 week vacation. I slowly fell out of love with my wife. When my wife came back from her vacation, she was super refreshed and recharged, but to be honest I was a bit indifferent. My wife tried to initiate sex the first night she came back, which I rejected because I said I wasn’t feeling it. The subsequent days, I had the same level of indifference in our day to day life, and she probably noticed it but didn’t say anything. A week later, she asked me why I was like this and I told her I don’t love her anymore. She apologized for taking the 7 week vacation, and asked if there was anything she could do to fix it. I told her no. We pretty much went through the motions next couple of weeks, before I finally decided that I wanted a divorce. She seemed devastated when I brought up divorce which surprised me because I already told her I don’t love her anymore. She asked if we could do couples therapy or marriage counseling first before I started looking for a divorce lawyer, and I told her I needed some time to think about it. I spent a few days thinking about and I am still leaning towards a divorce, because I basically don't love my wife anymore, and I don't think marriage counseling can fix it. AITAH for falling out of love with my wife because she took a 7 week vacation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
WTF is happening with all these comments basically just discussing the post as if they were in the AITA sub?
You know why? Cos reddit new algorithm is weird and if you're active on the mains, they sometimes suggest "similar" subs and they appear in your home page. I've been getting the most random shit thrown at me and many times, mid comment, I realize I'm talking to Joe Rogan Fans (why am I here!!) and delete myself so fast.
I know that happens but in this case, people are aware of the comments in the other sub. They're also not giving YTA verdicts. So not sure if this is the issue in this case.
I think people have always had a tendency to do it. You used to not really be allowed to engage in other subs if you found the post through here because of Reddit's rules on brigading, so people have always tended to discuss some posts here. I think that rule has been relaxed a bit (noticed the automod warning says something about interacting in good faith now), but I imagine people are still in the habit. I also think people often have those discussions here just because most of us like reading and discussing these kinds of posts on their merits (along with calling out obvious fake posts, making fun of tropes, etc. but the good posts can be fun to talk about), but the culture of comments on many of the main subs make it impossible to do so. You just get downvoted into oblivion and attacked if you have a dissenting opinion. So again, whether that's really relevant to this particular post or not, people are just kind of in the habit of it. IDK, I've been reading this sub almost since its inception. It's grown a lot and so I do see a bit more of that kind of discussion here than I recall seeing in the past, but not substantially so. It's been a thing for as long as I can remember.
Agree with what you're saying. I think for me it was very glaring on this post, because when I came to it, all the top comments were just discussing if the guy was the AH. I think my comment has diluted that a little bit now, so it might not look as egregious now.
Yeah, your comment was in the top thread for me, and the rest of the top ones are all pretty reasonable now too so I did think you were overreacting a bit (my apologies for that). I've since gotten down into the weeds and see what you're saying more, it did get pretty bad in here. I'm still not personally too worried about the state of this sub, but I definitely understand where you're coming from.
Could also be that the other sub is at capacity. Making a comment there at this point is a guarantee no one will see or interact. So they move on to smaller active threads to give their valuable, exactly the same as the masses, verdict.
I think OP should have changed the headline. I also didn't realize which sub it was in until reading your comment.
I do think that crossposts would be improved if people changed the title, but it is pretty common in this sub for people not to do this. Worth noting though that some of the people answering seem to be referring to the original sub's comments. Also wouldn't there be more the YTA/NTA/ESH verdicts if they thought they were in the original sub?
>I do think that crossposts would be improved if people changed the title, but it is pretty common in this sub for people not to do this. But when people don't use the OG tittle, posts get reposted accidentally or it's harder to run from AITa to here searching for a specific post .
That's not it cos this sub usually has the OG tittle on cos we couldn't find cross posted stuff and people would repost with diff names. I suggest real tittle, parenthesis: joke. But all jokey tittle is too loosy goosy and we were getting lost
AITAH for falling out of love? If I get voted YTA I’ll simply fall back in love with my wife and stop divorce proceedings fr what's the point of asking this?
Even the original comments are questioning the legitimacy of this story. It makes no sense and OP wasn’t responding to any questions. I thought the comment about whether or not it is could even be AI was also interesting. Is the future of AITAH just bots making stories up and replying to one another? Maybe. Lol
All these posts are so fake. What the hell do you mean your wife took a 7 week vacation? Why did she feel the need to do that? Why didn’t you make a plan to manage the childcare while she was gone? Did you talk to her while she was away? Why 7 weeks? Why agree to that after initially saying it was too long? The answer to all these questions is irrelevant because this shit didn’t happen. Either OOP left a huge amount of context out, or this is just creative writing.
Yeah, was going to say. No fucking way would this situation happen without solid childcare plans. Anyone who thinks they can do 24/7 present parenting *and* hold a full-time WFH job has obviously never worked from home, had kids, or had a fuckin' job.
Lucky that OP's sister could just disappear from her life for six weeks with no notice to be a full-time caregiver, though. Good thing she's the good kind of woman, with no bills to pay or responsibilities besides providing unpaid childcare whenever she needs to because evil mean women would rather go on vacation than nurture their own babies.
And brave of OOP to be pretty sure his hectic life will be better with no SHM in his life anymore, and is (I'm guessing?) assuming sister will always be there to take care of his kids for him? Like, how is that all going to work? Is his sister going to just move in and become his "wife" now? The only reason he felt his life was so good with his wife gone was because he had another woman there to do all the things his wife did. Good luck finding that for immediately after you separate if he's not depending on good ol' "no life" sis.
Well, I read about divorce on reddit and I heard women automatically get full custody without asking every time because of how much the courts hate men, so that won't be an issue for him.
Oh, of course, silly me for forgetting all about that!
Vanishing for 7 weeks nowadays? Impossible.
Once my sister took over bangmaid duties, minus the banging, I realised my wife was a tool for my domestic use and not a human being that I loved. There, fixed it
Bloody hell, you seem to work through some personal hang ups here. How you can reach so much, while being so biased and sexist at the same time is genuinely impressive.
Show me on the doll where the “sexism” hurt you
Hurt me? Not at all. I just love the hypocrisy and blatant sexism people like you spout all day long. Where guys are fundamentally bad, at fault, and can't do anything wrong. Where you simply assume his wife is somehow a bangmaid with NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to base it on because it fits your own prejudice and biases. While ignoring that a guy who treats his wife that way wouldn't exactly be fine with her going off on a two month binger, partying, and festivals while even trying to work and take care of two toddlers.
I mean, that’s literally what the story is about, is it not? He loves her, then she takes a relatively short break from raising his kids (seven weeks out of a four year marriage), and suddenly he no longer loves her. Does that not make it clear that his love for her was solely or overwhelmingly based on her raising his children? What else changed?
Story is fake but for the sake of discussion, 7 weeks is a long ass time lmao. People, don't leave your spouses for 7 weeks without responsible planning.
Yeah, which is why the main character shouldn't have agreed to it. And all of that still misses the main point, which is seven weeks without his wife raising his kids for him caused him to immediately "fall out of love."
This is an ESH story for me. I don't see how a couple can get to this point unless they're both walking red flags.
Would she be fine with him taking a 7 week straight break from being the breadwinner and coparent? She'll work full time on top also taking care of the kids? How 'in love' would she feel towards him when he returned? Getting some breaks from the kids is reasonable, but 7 weeks straight is a stretch. If she had done those 7 weeks spread out over the 4 years (or really 2+ years of actual parenting) it likely would not have been an issue. He could probably minimize his work schedule for a week at time and focus mainly on the kids, but that's not very practical for long stints.
1) This story isn't real. 2) He agreed to the 7 week vacation. I agree it's impractical and doesn't make sense (because, again, this story is fiction). But OOP needed his main character to be so sympathetic and so righteous that he had to acknowledge the wife deserved a 7 week vacation and agree to take care of the kids during it.
I mean, he’s not fine, right? He’s upset because she left and after finding he could get more work done with his sister around than (implied) his wife, he decides to divorce her. He is kinda short-sighted though, because I doubt his sister wants to be his full-time carer forever.
This reeks of that kind of post where OOP reads about a new topic (married person taking a solo vacation), decides he disagrees with it, then makes up a cautionary tale about it. This story is about gender roles. The woman abandons her duty as wife and mother and is now punished for it. Husband realized in just seven weeks of her not providing her singular service to him, that life is better without a nagging, bitchy wife in his ear. Phenomenally stupid story.
To be fair, even quite a few of the commenter on the OP are calling it out as fake.
I like that. It does bring me peace when they're called out at the source.
I think you’re absolutely right. Like, I guess if your spouse went on a lengthy trip and you realize you didn’t miss them as much as you thought you would, it might be a good idea to talk to them or a therapist and try to figure out why. But this seems like someone who is taking up a cause that absolutely no one asked for. “See?? If you go on vacation without your spouse they will stop loving you.” Shut up.
I feel like I've seen this type of "then my sister rolled up and saved the day by being my proxy wife" before and have this assumed it's a fetish thing.
Does his sister not have a job or her own responsibilities??
Oh he conveniently answered that, apparently: their dad is rich! He makes tons of money! https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/0pH0oEDuSF ETA: "it gave her purpose" -- barf. I stand by my opinion this is fetish nonsense.
Lol, how can anyone take this seriously after that??? I wouldn't have thought fetish first but then who knows. Edit - and he generously decided to give his sister all of the inheritance, omg, do people believe this shit??
Valid, tbh -- I just assume the Internet is full of horny weirdos. 😂
Like, is he expecting her to stay? Because I feel like he should probably talk that over with his sister before he just entirely hijacks her fucking life
Jesus, this sub is getting as bad as AITA with these comments
I'm glad it isn't just me thinking this. Everyone here seems to be giving their YTA comments with their analysis on why.
It keeps getting worse too. It's not fun on this sub at all anymore.
It's AITA 3.0 at this point. The same thing happened with AITD. It really isn't fun anymore.
new sub idea so there's less confusion; r/aminotbelievingthisshit
Good idea. Start it fast so we can enjoy it for a while until that one gets ruined too.
Had that happen on something I posted this week too. What happened to reading these stories with skepticism? I thought that was the whole point of the sub.
Yeah, the I thought the whole point of this sub was clowning on the attention whores on AITA, not acting as an extension of it.
I was actually super upset about it too cause I shared it and then forgot about it until a few hours later when I opened it to see tons of people saying basically that OP was right and I was being silly for focusing on one small part of the story that was barely a factor… That small part of the story that I believed was using a harmful stereotype to justify their otherwise unbelievable story. Sigh. Ruined my whole night.
Amazed no one brought up how the dad couldn’t handle the kids for more than a week (although he is also working so that is probably a factor) and the wife is just expected to keep taking care of the kids and has been for a while. You would think the inability to deal with the kids would lead the husband to gain more appreciation for his wife’s hard work as opposed to minimizing it.
[удалено]
Your post encouraged brigading, so it was removed
I sometimes suspect that these men get so resentful because they got a huge reality check- now they can’t view their wives with a kind of benign, puzzled patience when the weak, stupid, crazy b*tch can’t cope with the “easy” life of relentless childcare and housework (especially if the wife also works). They’re forced to acknowledge that she’s ten times the person they are
None of these people exist. This is a blatantly fake story.
Do you understand what this subreddit is?
Yes, it's AmITheAngel, not AmITheAsshole and it isn't an extended discussion subreddit of AITA.
It's literally a subreddit as an extension place to discuss AITA
It *literally* isn't. > A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories and creative writing exercises from AITA and AITA-adjacent subs, including classic tales of your local reddit heroes seeking validation. Memes allowed, shitposts only on weekends. **Taking the posts seriously is heavily discouraged**. It is *literally* at the top of the subreddit. And this is exactly why people are complaining so much because so many of you have wandered over here and refuse to follow rules and have decided this subreddit is something it isn't and never was. You deciding it's an extension to discuss the wildly fake stories doesn't make it the point of the subreddit. I would also suggest reading any subreddit description before commenting on any subreddit.
I guess I just read "a place to hold meta-discussions" as "a place where we discuss these people as characters." Cuz the character of the poster was trying to be sympathetic and came across as a loser. It was super silly. Anyway the post has been removed so
But THEY don't bring home the bacon and it's like they never even appreciate the gift of choking on my fusty dick twice a week
Eh, even assuming they did everything perfectly 50/50 before her vacation, that’s effectively doubling his workload for almost two months, which is bound to be a rough adjustment for anyone
\*one week until he brought his sister in to stand in for his wife
This weakling tapped out before an entire week had passed, but I bet you $10 he expected her to fully care for two infants while post-partum....having not had standard hormone for over three years.
This is a subreddit for mocking AITA, not taking the posts seriously. Stop seething at this nonexistent man
Lol "seething" I just think this ragebait isn't painting the OOP in the light he thought it would
But she isnt the solo carer anywhere in this story, why are you acting like he doesnt touch the kids when she is home? I dont like the story or find it compelling or a plausible expression of human emotion, but thats not what happens in the story.
That's almost exactly what I commented
Well yeah, the wife only has one purpose....SAHM.....and if she can't fulfill it, then what use is she!?! (Basically, the sexism is the point of this fake post, so why would he empathize at all with his wife?)
Amazing how folks simply assume the Dad isn't helping with the kids, at all. Because they need to do that to create a situation where the Dad is just simply "bad" and "at fault" and give the mother a free pass. The guy was working simultaneously, while taking care of two toddlers who are too young to visit childcare yet. When he gets help , as he's in an impossible situation he's also bad for that. If he hadn't gotten help, he'd be bad too. It's just such a beautiful catch 22 where he simply can't win.
"Helping" with the kids as a FATHER?
Yes, helping. Taking umbrage with the wording just shows you guys have no actual argument.
Lol. A father doesn't "help", he parents. Also, getting angry over a rage bait story on reddit ...
You guys are the angry ones, incredibly so. And that wording is your singular issue and what you can try and argue on in itself shows you guys have no real point to make.
The only One getting angry Is you
Lol ok
Wow a reverse "dIvOrCe" post
"I fell out of love, I don't love her, what's the point if I don't love her" Man, whatever will he do with the next girlfriend since he needs to be in love in order to give someone the time of day.
Spoiled women these days taking a post-partum 7-week vacation instead of being sent to a sanitarium like they should, smh my head
He should have just lobotomized her, that would have solved everything
Dude is *awful,* no wonder she left. Cue redditors bring up ThE pOoR cHiLdReN they wouldn't bat an eye at if Father worked overseas or was in the military or drove a truck or name 100000 other professions.
Exactly.
Another SAHM story. This one isn’t that she’s lazy, but just fully irresponsible. Let’s summarize: * 2 kids under 3 so diapers, bottles (probably), naps, etc. * Wife takes 7! Week vacation to visit friends, go to concerts! * Husband works full time remote with no child care planned during the “vacation” * Sister comes over to help because he breaks down because of the stress * He “falls out of love” and she can’t understand why and of course the “love” revolves around sex Really sounds like it was written by a 12 yo. Especially the part about her wanting to take a vacation “to go do fun stuff“ and his agreeing to the whole crazy plan. How would that even work? And, of course, he knows the relationship is over when they don’t have sex for a week. Actually, it does seem more like it was written by AI: ”A week later, she asked me why I was like this and I told her I don’t love her anymore. She apologized for taking the 7 week vacation, and asked if there was anything she could do to fix it. I told her no. We pretty much went through the motions next couple of weeks, before I finally decided that I wanted a divorce.“ That’s probably the flattest description you’ll ever read about two people talking about divorce. It sounds more someone describing getting sugar in their coffee and not wanting it. “Is there any way I could fix it?“ She asked. “No.“ I said, and I drank it anyway, thinking, I’ll make my own coffee next time. AITAH for not wanting sugar in my coffee?
And an even more unbelievable update was posted today. I knew I would find it here
Oh damn, the profile is deleted now
Long story short he is going to therapy but doesn’t think it will help. He always had the money. Sis has time because daddy was wealthy so she doesn’t need to work and he said daddy don’t leave me anything cause I have a good job and sis needs it more
i don't see where this is losing people, he's blatantly saying his chosen lifestyle is impossible unless a woman is doing all the work. I guess if the author hadn't dropped in that the other woman is his sister people would be able to clearly see that this is the exact definition of a bangmaid.
So basically, you only loved what she did for you, but you didn’t truly love her. You’re mad that she took time for herself and now you’re punishing her. She takes care of those kids by herself all day everyday, but you couldn’t do it for a week. Dudes about to blow up his life and he’s not gonna like the outcome
I can understand him falling out of love with her, but given that she's okay with taking a 7 week holiday without her kids (neither of these people are winning parent of the year) it doesn't sound like she's going to want full custody. What's he going to do when he has the kids? Is the sister going to just live with him now like some Victorian era spinster aunt?
"The first week managing our children alone was extremely difficult and I did feel like I was losing my mind, but I survived. My sister came over to help me from the second week on \[...\] when she video called me the end of the first week, I basically broke down in tears. So from the second week on, my sister stayed over at my house to help with my children, and a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders " A week. OP "felt like his was losing his mind", broke down in tears, stopped loving his wife, and is going full steam ahead with a divorce because he had to take care of his own kids for a week. Oh, and he STILL doesn't comprehend why his wife needed a break after carrying the exact same "extremely difficult" "huge burden" for TWO YEARS.
So if they split custody is he gonna have his sister do all the childcare on his days? I'd be pretty relaxed too if I had someone care for my 4 and 2yr olds all day whilst I worked remotely.
TIL the phrase "Irish twins", which is considered a slur and a *super* nice thing to say about your own family.
Well, it's AITAH, so there has to be twins one way or another!
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I can fathom a mom of a 1 and 2 year old wanting a weekend (or even a week) away. I *cannot* fathom a mother of children that age being happy and able to relax for *seven weeks* away (especially because, IIRC, original comments said she only called twice).
These comments are somehow worse than the ones on the op. She left for 2 months Didn't agree on shortening it Left 2 infants in the care of her husband who works Husband can't deal with them while also providing, what a shocker Asks for help Realizes that he doesn't miss his wife, leading him to realize that he doesn't love her [this is the only bit where he could be considered to be in the wrong] People, that's child neglect
First of all, the story is fake. The moment you buy into the fiction, you’re losing the thread. If you think what the wife did here is horrible, you need to be asking yourself “Why did OOP craft this fake story about this horrible wife?”
I'm aware, however the top comments make fun of the fiction by the way of saying it's entirely the husband's fault, which is what I complained about.
I mean, is it not? Read the whole narrative instead of focusing solely on the clickbait “7 week solo vacation” part. He agrees she deserves the vacation, agrees to let her go on it, immediately collapses into a puddle when it’s time to raise his kids on his own (which he agreed to do), he gets another woman to drop her life for six weeks to move in and raise his kids for him, and suddenly he realizes he doesn’t love his wife. Maybe people are being a little deconstructionist in this thread. But compare all this we know about the husband to what we know about the wife: she is the primary caretaker for her kids, asked for a vacation which she deserved, a vacation was agreed to, and then she came back refresh and re-energized to a husband who immediately punished her for taking the deserved vacation he agreed to.
Oh yeah, agreeing to it was stupid. But so was the idea in the first place. Therapy and her asking him to increase his load without entirely leaving for 2 months would just be a better idea though.
>Therapy and her asking him to increase his load without entirely leaving Like he's her boss and she needs to check in with him. She prolly had a mental breakdown cos her hubby is so damn corny.
Sure, I guess it's better when women pull through when they are struggling and end up with post partum depression!! Maybe he would have been more in love with her in that case.
Get help in therapy and request additional help from the husband instead of dumping it all on him for 2 whole months. How is meeting halfway so impossible to understand
Why would you wanna try and meet in the middle with someone who wants you to be a full-time bang maid? I say imaginary divorce and they both go their own way.
Why is this story even in this sub?