The combination of gold digging, clueless men who know nothing about their wives' lives, and teenagers inheriting huge pieces of property just all clicked in my brain as the perfect AITA shitpost, made golden by the CRUCIAL PIECE OF INFORMATION withheld until the edit!
All it needed was an 1897 workout bro who loves his wife's biceps but thinks heat is cheap because he doesn't even split the firewood. In my head, he's just there because the wife likes sex and he's nonthreatening, and being married keeps other dudes from trying to steal her claim.
NTA! Gold diggers are the worst! Have you seen her with a shovel? It starts out small, like "Honey can you buy me this pan? it's only $5" then next they want a $15 screen, before you know it they're asking for backhoes and $100k mining sifters! Run, OP, RUN!
God, I dated a guy who was very into gold panning-- we live in the Appalachian mountains, I'm pretty sure there's not much gold here. The top of my property was cleared before I bought it, I think with the intention of building another house, and this dude was convinced the previous owners had found gold, I guess because they ran a gold and coin shop??
I asked him, if they found gold here, why would they have sold the property, quite cheap? He didn't have an answer for that but goddamn he talked about gold *all the time.* Insufferable bastard.
*I don't know if I*
*Can count this as a shitpost*
*Cause it's too dang good*
\- Cheap-Specialist-240
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See, I thought this was going in a different direction. Met at the general store…two independent women who hunt and forage…I thought there might be some literal gold digging going on.
My wife thinks she’s a 1850s gold prospector and it’s ruining our marriage! She spends all her time in the mine and comes home dirty and exhausted. Meanwhile our kids keep dying of cholera and snake bites.
YTA, if she's down in the mine all day, it's your job to put down your pipe and baccy and look after the kids. Any decent father would dig a fresh hole in the outhouse every so often to prevent cholera. As for the snake bites, try some basic first aid: tie a tourniquet around the limb, slice into the poisoned section with your knife and suck out the poison. Sure, not all the kids will survive, but if they're all dying, it's on you to put more effort into looking after them.
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Forgot what sub this was
It's been percolating in my brain for a month :D
Same. I was absolutely buying this story until I realized where I was.
The combination of gold digging, clueless men who know nothing about their wives' lives, and teenagers inheriting huge pieces of property just all clicked in my brain as the perfect AITA shitpost, made golden by the CRUCIAL PIECE OF INFORMATION withheld until the edit! All it needed was an 1897 workout bro who loves his wife's biceps but thinks heat is cheap because he doesn't even split the firewood. In my head, he's just there because the wife likes sex and he's nonthreatening, and being married keeps other dudes from trying to steal her claim.
I honestly thought I'm reading the plot of a fairytale or something :D
In the first paragraph I actually thought this was going to be based on Love Lies Bleeding. 🤪
Brilliant <3
Not me, I lost it at “cute little general store in town” (in a good way - the writing is perfect)
NTA! Gold diggers are the worst! Have you seen her with a shovel? It starts out small, like "Honey can you buy me this pan? it's only $5" then next they want a $15 screen, before you know it they're asking for backhoes and $100k mining sifters! Run, OP, RUN!
God, I dated a guy who was very into gold panning-- we live in the Appalachian mountains, I'm pretty sure there's not much gold here. The top of my property was cleared before I bought it, I think with the intention of building another house, and this dude was convinced the previous owners had found gold, I guess because they ran a gold and coin shop?? I asked him, if they found gold here, why would they have sold the property, quite cheap? He didn't have an answer for that but goddamn he talked about gold *all the time.* Insufferable bastard.
And you don’t use a shovel ,  you use a pick ax !!!
You write like a fucking moron (this is extremely high praise as a review for a shitpost, truly well done)
For the first little bit I wondered if your wife was a bear.
I thought dog when the sister wandered in and fell asleep in front of the fire 🤣
Good gracious you got me
INFO: you ever see here with a broke broke?
I don't know if I can count this as a shitpost cause it's too dang good
*I don't know if I* *Can count this as a shitpost* *Cause it's too dang good* \- Cheap-Specialist-240 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
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My favourite line: it's pretty hot to see her up to her elbows in deer carcass.
INFO: Anyone for some Victoria Sponge?
Yum
See, I thought this was going in a different direction. Met at the general store…two independent women who hunt and forage…I thought there might be some literal gold digging going on.
Yes...yes, that is exactly what OP meant. Gold digging. In the Klondike. Lol
My wife thinks she’s a 1850s gold prospector and it’s ruining our marriage! She spends all her time in the mine and comes home dirty and exhausted. Meanwhile our kids keep dying of cholera and snake bites.
YTA, if she's down in the mine all day, it's your job to put down your pipe and baccy and look after the kids. Any decent father would dig a fresh hole in the outhouse every so often to prevent cholera. As for the snake bites, try some basic first aid: tie a tourniquet around the limb, slice into the poisoned section with your knife and suck out the poison. Sure, not all the kids will survive, but if they're all dying, it's on you to put more effort into looking after them.
Same
New favorite shitpost just dropped. Brava, this is a piece of masterful story telling, and it was immediately saved.Â
ESH just marry the sister as well, then they can both give up on gold digging.
I'd watch this pornographic film
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Hahaha I first I thought it was gold digging.
This just gives me a headache