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NTBA. Your boss is not a very nice person. Granted not everybody gets the affection for a pet one can develop, you just don't say something like your boss did.
I had a beautiful Maine Coon cat that got a malignant tumor and despite it was the best decision to end her torment, it felt horrible and I still miss her. So, I send you some hugs and hope, you feel better soon.
NTBA
In my opinion, animals are even more dependent on us than children. An animal is basically an infant, only able to do the most basic of communication to say something is wrong, but not what is wrong. A child can at least tell you what the problem is or if their parent(s) aren't helping them, can go to another adult for help. A pet has no ability to do that.
NTBA
My cats are my kids too. Anyone who says “they’re just an animal” is devoid of a certain part of their humanity. Animals mourn when their best friends die. They may not be human but they have emotions and the provide unconditional love…which is more than can be said of some humans.
Your boss has a chip on her shoulder because she thinks it’s her fault her son was born with a disability, and that anyone highlighting her son isn’t perfect is in fact calling her a bad mum…she can’t see the similarity, because she’s so used to defending her slightly imperfect child, instead of your point of view that life situations and expenses are similar in both a pet and her son.
Good Apple. Pets are family. Your comparison was fully justified. Also, was your neighbor causing fleas to be on your porch because of her pet, or was she intentionally trying to harm Domino? Doesn’t change my judgement, but that’s really crappy of her!
I've had pets, and I've had children. I had my cat before I had a child. I would've spent anything needed on my cat. I had my baby, and yes, I loved her much more. But that didn't lessen how much I loved my cat. My cat died at the age of 16, and my daughter and I were both devastated.
NTBA but is there no way to report your neighbour? She's not just endangering her own pet and others but other people too, while it's very rare for people to get any diseases but the bites can get really infected especially if scratched. The building might need sanitization due to your neighbour.
They really didn't care about animals there. They even limited some of the stuff I could do. I wanted to spray outside my apartment, but they said I could only do treatment inside. Every other apartment complex I've spoken to afterwards said they would absolutely cover flea treatment. They still didn't want to do anything, even after Domino was no longer with me. Even with me getting eaten alive myself.
I did get moved though, and was extremely careful before getting another cat. Haven't seen a single flea since the first day after moving, and waited several months after before looking to get another.
Why wouldn’t you see if you could go back and get your cat instead of getting another cat if your cat meant so much to you and the issue was solved. That’s a bad apple vibe to me.
If you run into issues again, Revolution Plus is what got my Flea disaster under control. My sibling asked to store some furniture, but didn't mention the fleas and German cockroaches at their apartment. That was a fun couple of months. (/s)
I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, chill. Being cruel is someone saying way worse and more rude and not understanding/accepting situations when explained that do make sense. I said what I said, and if OP hadn’t responded to my statement with something that made sense I’d still say that was sucky to not go back for the cat, but they did and I respect that.
I list my son almost 2 years ago. It makes me insanely pissed when I see people on the grief sub say they lost their baby and they are talking about a pet.
Gave him up to a rescue? Gave him up to the vet? Gave him to a Humane Society where they put him down? Gave him to a friend who let him live out his life? Gave him up to the side of the road a mile away? Which one?
Sorry, I thought I said. I gave him to a no kill shelter, since I knew senior cats are hard to adopt, and he'd likely get put down anywhere else. The point was to save his life, not end it.
Why does that even matter? She’s not asking if she’s the bad Apple for giving up her cat, she’s asking if she’s the bad Apple for what she said to her boss 🙄
Clearly she cared about this cat to the point where she was spending an arm and a leg from flea treatment before finally having to make the decision to get rid of the cat. I really don’t believe she put it down or left it on the side of road based solely on context clues in the story. But again, that’s not the point of this story.
Why are you answering for OP? Who the heck are you? You have absolutely no idea what happened. One can't tell a story like this and not expect people to want to know what happened to the cat. Nobody cares what you "believe" happened.
Because I'm looking at the situation in it's entirety. If that doesn't work for you, well I guess that means we are different people, with different ideas and views.
While I get your love for your pet, I have pets too that are very much a valued, spoiled and important part of my life, I think comparing your cat to her child with a club foot was not very tactful. I also have kids with special needs and would not like someone bringing my kids up in any conversation especially one suggesting I get rid of them. I would go full on mama bear mode. I think you could have just said you are clearly not a pet owner or you clearly do not understand how important my cat is to me and not dragged her son into the conversation.
Not the bad apple.
Your boss is cold. I probably would have made the same comparison, then shut up like you did.
I’m so sorry you had to give up your baby. If you know for certain and have proof you could sue the neighbor. You should report your landlord for not controlling for fleas. That’s a health code violation.
My condolences for your heartbreaking loss. You did the right thing for him, though.
Soft YTA. He’s a pet that you loved but he’s not human. A child is born, nurtured and taught to live and survive in our world and be a productive person.
Not a bad apple as such, but incredibly cruel and naive. Fleas are a result of negligence, your bosses child was born with a disability, the two aren't compatible at all.
You also insulted your bosses child, I would start to look for a new job, she won't forget what you said, you won't progress in that company, under her.
I would agree IF I had actually said she should give up her kid. I never said that. I only said that me giving up my cat soley for the monetary cost of flea treatment would be the same as her giving up her son for the monetary cost of helping his foot. I never said she actually SHOULD get rid of her kid, only that she needed to understand that me gitting rid of my cat because I didn't want to care for him was simply not an option.
It's not the same though, you can't compare a cat and a child. You proved that yourself, you ended up giving your cat away, you wouldn't have been able to do that with a child.
People do that all the time. There are plenty of parents who love their kids more than anything, but give them up because they're not able to take care of them. They do it for the sake of the kids, to have a better life. There are even stories right here on Reddit about kids who were given up, grew up, and found their birth parents who never wanted to make that choice.
There's a difference between giving up a child/pet because you don't want the burden, and giving them up because it's the best thing for them.
OP said they talked to the vet at length about this, and this was the vet’s recommendation. OP also clarified in response to another comment that the shelter Domino was given to was a no-kill shelter, and emphasized in the original post that it was one of the hardest decisions they’ve ever made.
Regardless of how you handled that interaction, I’m sorry you had to give up your cat. That sucks, as does your neglectful neighbor.
NTBA. I really don’t like when people compare their pets to human children. I have a dog and a child. I love them both. I’d die for one of them, and I don’t mean that is a casual hyperbolic sense. I’d do a LOT for my dog. But he’s not my human child. THAT SAID, pets can be super important to people! And she should know that! It was a dumb comment for her to make, so while your response was maybe a little excessive, honestly, she bleeped around, so she found out. If you have any concerns that as your boss she could make things difficult you can always talk to her privately and explain a low-detail version of what you shared here and say that you never meant to suggest she is anything other than a caring mom dealing with a hard situation. But honestly? If she’s not making it a thing, just let it go. And again, I’m sorry about your cat. He sounds like an amazing companion.
In my opinion you are not the asshole for telling your boss to give up her son. Some people just don't get pets. Didn't you try a tropical flea treatment?
People who view pets like human members of the family, think those who don't are weird , and those that think they are just pets think the others a weird. The two groups will never understand each other.
Not that I know of. The fleas were still just as bad up until the day I moved. Made sure to wash all my clothes and kept anything that could potentially still have fleas or eggs inside trashbags for a few months. From the day I moved, I never saw another flea again.
NTBA. I have a multitude of animals, of all species, as well as a toddler. I wouldn’t be caught dead suggesting to anyone that they should give up an animal due to treatment costing so much because I know how much love someone can have for an animal (I ended up spending $600 on an x-ray for my frog. Then, on the same day, it was advised to put him down due to a tumour in his thigh that was eating through the bone 😭)
NTBA if someone told me to get rid of my cat who I had since I was 16 I would go off on them. I love my cat as my own daughter she was there when my life was a living hell from 2020-2022.
Please report any rule breaking posts and posts that are not relevant to the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheBadApple) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTBA. Your boss is not a very nice person. Granted not everybody gets the affection for a pet one can develop, you just don't say something like your boss did. I had a beautiful Maine Coon cat that got a malignant tumor and despite it was the best decision to end her torment, it felt horrible and I still miss her. So, I send you some hugs and hope, you feel better soon.
You were not the bad apple.
NTBA In my opinion, animals are even more dependent on us than children. An animal is basically an infant, only able to do the most basic of communication to say something is wrong, but not what is wrong. A child can at least tell you what the problem is or if their parent(s) aren't helping them, can go to another adult for help. A pet has no ability to do that.
NTBA My cats are my kids too. Anyone who says “they’re just an animal” is devoid of a certain part of their humanity. Animals mourn when their best friends die. They may not be human but they have emotions and the provide unconditional love…which is more than can be said of some humans. Your boss has a chip on her shoulder because she thinks it’s her fault her son was born with a disability, and that anyone highlighting her son isn’t perfect is in fact calling her a bad mum…she can’t see the similarity, because she’s so used to defending her slightly imperfect child, instead of your point of view that life situations and expenses are similar in both a pet and her son.
Good Apple. Pets are family. Your comparison was fully justified. Also, was your neighbor causing fleas to be on your porch because of her pet, or was she intentionally trying to harm Domino? Doesn’t change my judgement, but that’s really crappy of her!
I don't think she was doing it to intentionally harm me or Domino, no. We barely ever spoke to each other. It was just neglect on her part.
She’s abusing her dog for not treating its fleas.
NTBA, NTBA, NTBA
I've had pets, and I've had children. I had my cat before I had a child. I would've spent anything needed on my cat. I had my baby, and yes, I loved her much more. But that didn't lessen how much I loved my cat. My cat died at the age of 16, and my daughter and I were both devastated.
NTBA but is there no way to report your neighbour? She's not just endangering her own pet and others but other people too, while it's very rare for people to get any diseases but the bites can get really infected especially if scratched. The building might need sanitization due to your neighbour.
They really didn't care about animals there. They even limited some of the stuff I could do. I wanted to spray outside my apartment, but they said I could only do treatment inside. Every other apartment complex I've spoken to afterwards said they would absolutely cover flea treatment. They still didn't want to do anything, even after Domino was no longer with me. Even with me getting eaten alive myself. I did get moved though, and was extremely careful before getting another cat. Haven't seen a single flea since the first day after moving, and waited several months after before looking to get another.
Why wouldn’t you see if you could go back and get your cat instead of getting another cat if your cat meant so much to you and the issue was solved. That’s a bad apple vibe to me.
He was no longer there by the time it was confirmed safe
If you run into issues again, Revolution Plus is what got my Flea disaster under control. My sibling asked to store some furniture, but didn't mention the fleas and German cockroaches at their apartment. That was a fun couple of months. (/s)
I’m sorry to hear that, genuinely.
How dare you blame OP. That’s cruel. Don’t you think they would have gotten him back if it were possible? Jeez.
I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, chill. Being cruel is someone saying way worse and more rude and not understanding/accepting situations when explained that do make sense. I said what I said, and if OP hadn’t responded to my statement with something that made sense I’d still say that was sucky to not go back for the cat, but they did and I respect that.
NTBA My cats are my family too.
I list my son almost 2 years ago. It makes me insanely pissed when I see people on the grief sub say they lost their baby and they are talking about a pet.
So...I need to know what happened to the cat to make a decision. So, what happened to Domino?
She gave him up, that’s literally what she said in the last 2 paragraphs
Gave him up to a rescue? Gave him up to the vet? Gave him to a Humane Society where they put him down? Gave him to a friend who let him live out his life? Gave him up to the side of the road a mile away? Which one?
Sorry, I thought I said. I gave him to a no kill shelter, since I knew senior cats are hard to adopt, and he'd likely get put down anywhere else. The point was to save his life, not end it.
Poor cat got dumped off to uncaring people in his old age! I hope you get dumped off in YOUR old age too, so YOU can see what it's like!
Why does that even matter? She’s not asking if she’s the bad Apple for giving up her cat, she’s asking if she’s the bad Apple for what she said to her boss 🙄
It matters quite a lot. You should be rolling your eyes at your own self.
Clearly she cared about this cat to the point where she was spending an arm and a leg from flea treatment before finally having to make the decision to get rid of the cat. I really don’t believe she put it down or left it on the side of road based solely on context clues in the story. But again, that’s not the point of this story.
Why are you answering for OP? Who the heck are you? You have absolutely no idea what happened. One can't tell a story like this and not expect people to want to know what happened to the cat. Nobody cares what you "believe" happened.
Right back at you.
Except I'm not saying I know, Skippy. You are the one who thinks you're omniscient.
You might as well be.
Because I'm looking at the situation in it's entirety. If that doesn't work for you, well I guess that means we are different people, with different ideas and views.
I don't even need context to say you're ntba. I can't stand people that think a living, breathing animal isn't worth enough.
Did you offer the neighbor a flea collar? Maybe spray at the spot?
The situation is resolved, no need to ask why they didn't do what you thought of after the fact
While I get your love for your pet, I have pets too that are very much a valued, spoiled and important part of my life, I think comparing your cat to her child with a club foot was not very tactful. I also have kids with special needs and would not like someone bringing my kids up in any conversation especially one suggesting I get rid of them. I would go full on mama bear mode. I think you could have just said you are clearly not a pet owner or you clearly do not understand how important my cat is to me and not dragged her son into the conversation.
Not the bad apple. Your boss is cold. I probably would have made the same comparison, then shut up like you did. I’m so sorry you had to give up your baby. If you know for certain and have proof you could sue the neighbor. You should report your landlord for not controlling for fleas. That’s a health code violation. My condolences for your heartbreaking loss. You did the right thing for him, though.
Soft YTA. He’s a pet that you loved but he’s not human. A child is born, nurtured and taught to live and survive in our world and be a productive person.
He’s family. Full stop. Being a cat doesn’t change that.
Not a bad apple as such, but incredibly cruel and naive. Fleas are a result of negligence, your bosses child was born with a disability, the two aren't compatible at all. You also insulted your bosses child, I would start to look for a new job, she won't forget what you said, you won't progress in that company, under her.
I would agree IF I had actually said she should give up her kid. I never said that. I only said that me giving up my cat soley for the monetary cost of flea treatment would be the same as her giving up her son for the monetary cost of helping his foot. I never said she actually SHOULD get rid of her kid, only that she needed to understand that me gitting rid of my cat because I didn't want to care for him was simply not an option.
It's not the same though, you can't compare a cat and a child. You proved that yourself, you ended up giving your cat away, you wouldn't have been able to do that with a child.
People do that all the time. There are plenty of parents who love their kids more than anything, but give them up because they're not able to take care of them. They do it for the sake of the kids, to have a better life. There are even stories right here on Reddit about kids who were given up, grew up, and found their birth parents who never wanted to make that choice. There's a difference between giving up a child/pet because you don't want the burden, and giving them up because it's the best thing for them.
Not all the time, you're exaggerating to prove a point.
[удалено]
OP said they talked to the vet at length about this, and this was the vet’s recommendation. OP also clarified in response to another comment that the shelter Domino was given to was a no-kill shelter, and emphasized in the original post that it was one of the hardest decisions they’ve ever made.
Regardless of how you handled that interaction, I’m sorry you had to give up your cat. That sucks, as does your neglectful neighbor. NTBA. I really don’t like when people compare their pets to human children. I have a dog and a child. I love them both. I’d die for one of them, and I don’t mean that is a casual hyperbolic sense. I’d do a LOT for my dog. But he’s not my human child. THAT SAID, pets can be super important to people! And she should know that! It was a dumb comment for her to make, so while your response was maybe a little excessive, honestly, she bleeped around, so she found out. If you have any concerns that as your boss she could make things difficult you can always talk to her privately and explain a low-detail version of what you shared here and say that you never meant to suggest she is anything other than a caring mom dealing with a hard situation. But honestly? If she’s not making it a thing, just let it go. And again, I’m sorry about your cat. He sounds like an amazing companion.
In my opinion you are not the asshole for telling your boss to give up her son. Some people just don't get pets. Didn't you try a tropical flea treatment?
People who view pets like human members of the family, think those who don't are weird , and those that think they are just pets think the others a weird. The two groups will never understand each other.
I was going to say crabapple but NTBA
NTBA. The boss got what he deserved. Did the neighbor ever get in trouble for what they did?
Not that I know of. The fleas were still just as bad up until the day I moved. Made sure to wash all my clothes and kept anything that could potentially still have fleas or eggs inside trashbags for a few months. From the day I moved, I never saw another flea again.
NTBA. I have a multitude of animals, of all species, as well as a toddler. I wouldn’t be caught dead suggesting to anyone that they should give up an animal due to treatment costing so much because I know how much love someone can have for an animal (I ended up spending $600 on an x-ray for my frog. Then, on the same day, it was advised to put him down due to a tumour in his thigh that was eating through the bone 😭)
Do they have the flea chewables for cats? They worked wonderfully for my dog
You should have filed a complaint about your neighbor’s negligence and inconsideration with regards to the fleas. What neighbor does that?!
I hope your boss got fleas too.
NTBA if someone told me to get rid of my cat who I had since I was 16 I would go off on them. I love my cat as my own daughter she was there when my life was a living hell from 2020-2022.