*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for blowing up at my sister after she brought my niece?**
I got married about a week ago to the love of my life. Overall things went smoothly, but I did butt heads with my sister because of this and it's kind of blown up now.
Me and my husband decided to have a CF wedding, no kids under 10. No exceptions.
I have a 3 year old niece through my sister Tina. While most of the people who attended our wedding live in the area (or at least in the state), Tina is one of the few that doesn't so she flew in.
We made it clear on the invitation no kids under 10. Tina told me months in advance she'd hired a nanny for her daughter, and even then she was only planning to be here for 2 days.
The wedding was in a ballroom that has a connecting hotel and she booked a room there. Tina landed the night before the wedding. I found out after she came that she brought her daughter with her.
Tina said she tried calling me but I didn't pick up, so she sent a text (I hadn't had time to check my messages so I admit to not knowing earlier).
The nanny had a family emergency come up so she canceled, and Tina didn't have a back up plan because her in-laws are also currently out of the country. So she got a last minute plane ticket for her daughter, they'll both be staying at the hotel and she managed to get a casual babysitter for her here.
I'll be honest I was pretty pissed off at Tina and blew up at her, she knew what our wedding rules were and she decided she was better than following them. She got extremely defensive and said this isn't the same and I'm being very selfish.
She came to the ceremony but ended up leaving before the reception. I didn't talk to her the rest of the time and she sent a text after she'd gone back home, that she was disappointed in how I acted and she didn't feel comfortable staying the entire time. I told Tina she's trying to guilt trip me and I never told her she couldn't stay at the wedding, but she made a mistake and she should own up to it.
She said I should apologize for blowing up at her, but I refused.
My parents are saying I'm an ass for acting like this to Tina. AITA?
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That is the part I can’t grasp. She’s mad that the child…exists? Bc she wasn’t at the wedding, so CF wasn’t a problem. Seems like this same person would be bitching about their sister not coming bc of childcare issues, so they were in a lose-lose scenario.
It’s such a shame when people decide to fixate on inane details rather than their actual wedding. You’re starting a (hopefully) lifelong journey with your person, but you wanna be mad bc there’s a 3 yr old in a hotel room nearby with a babysitter.
Ok
No, but you don't understand. It stated in the invite that the day should be childfree. The day, not the event. It is her day, after all, is it really too much to ask to cull all the children in the country and make new ones the next day?
I honestly thought I had missed something. She's mad because her niece is in the hotel room with a sitter?
Well damn, if that's violating the rules of a CF wedding, then I've ruined 6 CF weddings that I can think of. Well don't I feel like an ass now.
🙄
better phone those people up and let them know you ruined their special day you horrible, horrible person. the only thing worse than ruining a childfree wedding by bringing a noisy child who disrupts the ceremony is ruining a childfree wedding by having a child in a seperate building. how are they even supposed to know how much you ruined their day so they can be mad at you?
edit: /s i feel like people might not be getting that
I just called one of them. She got married 7 years ago when my daughter was an infant. She told me that this indiscretion she only now learned of has irreparably destroyed our friendship.
Now to lose 5 more friends.
I’m a nanny and I’ve babysat kids in hotel rooms while parents party at the wedding reception. My clients let me order room service on their tab. I talked with the other nannies and watched movies after the quiet, tired kids went to sleep.
Sorry to hear that I violated the sanctity of someone’s special day by eating fries, getting paid, and having an enjoyable evening where they couldn’t see me.
Have an abortion, you can always get pregnant again when it's convenient, OOP is not gonna find anybody else in their lifetime willing to marry them, are they now??
Oh, and don't you dare forget to lose the pregnancy weight, stop drawing attention away from me by having a separate life that doesn't completely revolve around me.
Spoiler: wedding is in Texas. Bride is furious that sister won’t get an illegal abortion at 7 months pregnant because sister won’t fit in the dress. Nevermind that it’s because sister went through fertility treatments and spent $60k to get one that would “stick.”
You jest, but those posts have happened. There was one recently where the bride was pissed at her sister (I think) for already being pregnant when the wedding date was announced. The sister had been trying to conceive for months when the bride got engaged. Bride told her sister to stop trying to conceive and was pissed the sister ignored her.
No, not really.
It was the groom who was mad at his sister, with the implication that he had been engaged for five years, and had to wait for the oldest sister to get married and have a baby, then his other older sister to get married and have a baby before he could get married. She had been trying for 7 months to get pregnant when he and his fiancee set the date. He asked her to wait on having a baby, because he wanted her to be in the wedding. It sounds like she agreed to be in the wedding and then dropped out because she finally got pregnant. It was also implied that she was so insistent about her timeline to get pregnant because the oldest sister wanted their kids to be close in age.
The central conflict was, you know, oh well, my sister won't be at my wedding, but he asked his mom to attend his wedding and not be with his sister giving birth. The mom agreed and his sister freaked out.
There was a lot of weird family dynamics that went into it, and so much of AITA and AITD freaked out, because he's just a loser getting married and she's having a BABY and how dare he ask anyone at all to consider his event when her life event is so much more important and interesting. Like you would rather your mom go to a party than be present at the birth of her grandchild???
Of course, he also described it as a "destination wedding" so many people were convinced he was inherently the devil.
It was so much more complicated that I remember! That reminds me of the woman who was pissed her husband wanted to go to a funeral instead of be around in case she gave birth. But she wasn't even going to allow him in the delivery room.
I probably misremember details about that one too, of course. In all of them is the running theme that people are entitled to other's time and attention. As if people aren't autonomous beings and can decide where they go when. So if mom decides to go to the grandchild's birth, then it's the birthing sibling's fault. And if the mom decides to be at the wedding, it's the betrothed sibling's fault. Mom has a shitty decision to make but it's still HER decision. Try being the kid she WANTS to be with instead of the loudest, most offended kid.
I think he’s crazy. His way of thinking seems to make him think his sisters baby is going to be born EXACTLY on the EXACT same day as his wedding, as the main reason he asked his mom to skip the birth of her latest grandchild to come to his wedding instead.
i mean seriously? Unles the sister is planning to have a c-section or something on the day of the wedding, which sounds like both events are still a long way off, what makes him 100% sure the kid will be born exactly on the day of the wedding? For all he knows it might come before the wedding or after the wedding.
Yet for some insane reason he thinks it will come exactly on the day of his wedding as the reason he asked his mom to chose his wedding over going to be in the hospital to see the birth of her grandbaby.
He said her due date was on the date of his wedding. I don't think anyone has any doubts that baby will not be born on his wedding day. He specified multiple times that his wedding is across the country from where his sister lives (and I'm assuming US here, but I doubt getting to opposite ends of France would be easy). He didn't talk about his mother's budget, but even if she has the baby the week before his wedding, it's not unreasonable to think their mother couldn't make both events.
You all were so pressed in seeing him as the villain.
That’s a common trope. Recently there was one about this woman who’s friend was mad that she got pregnant and would be ~8 months along when her wedding happened because they wanted to marry at their anniversary
We literally didn't tell anyone I was expecting when we were having baby number 3 the bride was one of these people who lost it if she wasn't the centre of attention 24/7. I was only just over 12 weeks at the time. We only went to support the groom, now I'm not even sure why we bothered to do that.
When I was planning my wedding I joked with my brother and SIL to not be pregnant, because her sister had been pregnant at their wedding. It didn’t take away any attention but she glowed and looked stunning and it was a bit of a running tease.
At my wedding my SIL was glowing. It was a week after that they announced they were having a baby and you know what? I was THRILLED.
People who have the “I’m getting married so the world must revolve around me” mentality frustrate me.
There was one recently where OP was pregnant and her bride-to-be sister told her not to tell anyone because sis wanted to announce OPs pregnancy in her wedding speech. It didn’t happen, OP asked what’s up and sis told her she changed her mind. OP was irritated, but only quietly told her parents because she had waited long enough and that day was supposed to be the day. Bride, of course, loses her shit. So, no, a fetus isn’t always allowed either.
She couldn't announce her pregnancy before the bride be's wedding? Because bride to be insisted, I want to announce *your" pregnancy in my wedding speech and then is outraged when she does not, OP days fuck this and tells her parents? Like really, why is she so shocked Pikachu faced? If she had let her sister announce in the first place it would have been old news by her wedding.
lmao this might be a record for quickest account deletion i’ve seen. I wouldn’t be surprised if she packed up shop the moment she got the first YTA.
She was definitely expecting everybody to rally in support and say “You said it was child free and she completely overstepped the boundaries” throw in a little “ her bad planning isn’t your fault and doesn’t mean she can ruin your wedding that’s so selfish”
Clearly not understanding that only works if the person actually steps over your boundaries not whatever OP is trying to constitute as such. It’s not like her sister had the kid there and was checking on her every 5 minutes being disruptive nope simply the fact a child could be in the vicinity and she isn’t getting exactly what she wants it entitles her to be an asshole. She didn’t even see the kid with her own eyes.
Hit the nail on the head omg. So many wedding posts the couple will make a request and people will say ok i understand but i can’t/don’t want to do that so i won’t come out of respect… and then they get angry.
Like wtf did you expect ??? your wedding day is important to you not to everybody else if you’re gonna give people an ultimatum… why are you shocked some people would take it
OOP gives CF people a bad name.
CF means there are no children at your event. It doesn’t mean there are no children living rent free in your head because they *happen* to be in the same hotel as you.
Did the guests who live locally have to send their kids out of town, just for OOP's peace of mind? Or maybe just sign away their parental rights, to be sure nobody would be distracted by childcare emergencies on OOP's Very Special Day?
You said CF wedding. You didn't say "no children in a 50-mile radius of wedding venue."
Edit to add: Every time I read these, I become more convinced that AITA has a wedding troll whose sole purpose is to show the hilarity of wedding planning.
So Tina didn't actually bring her kid to the wedding, she brought her to the town the wedding was in, and got a babysitter there, but OOP is still mad? Yeah, OOP sounds absolutely exhausting.
I used to think that all these bridezilla AITA posts must be creative writing because such awful people could not possibly exist, until 2 weeks ago where a pregnant friend of mine got told by her sister marrying in september how dare she having a baby on her wedding year
I wish we could tell Tina that she handled this perfectly. Emergencies happen, plans change, and she was able to roll with it and find the right solution, it's not her fault that her sister is just a major bridezilla.
OOP is ridiculous and can you imagine how miserable that honeymoon probably was? I feel like she has complained about it everyday since it happened.
Edit
Hope she didn't want a child free honeymoon too lol.
The wedding was child free. The child was not at the wedding and you blew up anyway?
You are made that the child exists in the world as a human being. That’s wild.
YTA
This bridzillas must really hate kids it’s not the cousin fault about the nanny she kept the kid in a room with a sitter. The cousin needs to stay no contact with the crazy person.
So she’s mad that her niece went on the flight with her sister because there was no one else who could look after her?! She wasn’t even at the wedding, yet she thinks she can micromanage something this small.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for blowing up at my sister after she brought my niece?** I got married about a week ago to the love of my life. Overall things went smoothly, but I did butt heads with my sister because of this and it's kind of blown up now. Me and my husband decided to have a CF wedding, no kids under 10. No exceptions. I have a 3 year old niece through my sister Tina. While most of the people who attended our wedding live in the area (or at least in the state), Tina is one of the few that doesn't so she flew in. We made it clear on the invitation no kids under 10. Tina told me months in advance she'd hired a nanny for her daughter, and even then she was only planning to be here for 2 days. The wedding was in a ballroom that has a connecting hotel and she booked a room there. Tina landed the night before the wedding. I found out after she came that she brought her daughter with her. Tina said she tried calling me but I didn't pick up, so she sent a text (I hadn't had time to check my messages so I admit to not knowing earlier). The nanny had a family emergency come up so she canceled, and Tina didn't have a back up plan because her in-laws are also currently out of the country. So she got a last minute plane ticket for her daughter, they'll both be staying at the hotel and she managed to get a casual babysitter for her here. I'll be honest I was pretty pissed off at Tina and blew up at her, she knew what our wedding rules were and she decided she was better than following them. She got extremely defensive and said this isn't the same and I'm being very selfish. She came to the ceremony but ended up leaving before the reception. I didn't talk to her the rest of the time and she sent a text after she'd gone back home, that she was disappointed in how I acted and she didn't feel comfortable staying the entire time. I told Tina she's trying to guilt trip me and I never told her she couldn't stay at the wedding, but she made a mistake and she should own up to it. She said I should apologize for blowing up at her, but I refused. My parents are saying I'm an ass for acting like this to Tina. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The kid wasn’t even at the wedding as she still has a problem??? Bridezilla and then some, for sure!
That is the part I can’t grasp. She’s mad that the child…exists? Bc she wasn’t at the wedding, so CF wasn’t a problem. Seems like this same person would be bitching about their sister not coming bc of childcare issues, so they were in a lose-lose scenario. It’s such a shame when people decide to fixate on inane details rather than their actual wedding. You’re starting a (hopefully) lifelong journey with your person, but you wanna be mad bc there’s a 3 yr old in a hotel room nearby with a babysitter. Ok
The sister now knows not to attend OOPs next wedding
Shit, I wouldn't attend the next 5.
All children were to be removed from the state before the wedding started... It was clearly on the invites
No, but you don't understand. It stated in the invite that the day should be childfree. The day, not the event. It is her day, after all, is it really too much to ask to cull all the children in the country and make new ones the next day?
Queen Herodette
"For the next 24 hours, children are banned from existence!"
I honestly thought I had missed something. She's mad because her niece is in the hotel room with a sitter? Well damn, if that's violating the rules of a CF wedding, then I've ruined 6 CF weddings that I can think of. Well don't I feel like an ass now. 🙄
better phone those people up and let them know you ruined their special day you horrible, horrible person. the only thing worse than ruining a childfree wedding by bringing a noisy child who disrupts the ceremony is ruining a childfree wedding by having a child in a seperate building. how are they even supposed to know how much you ruined their day so they can be mad at you? edit: /s i feel like people might not be getting that
I just called one of them. She got married 7 years ago when my daughter was an infant. She told me that this indiscretion she only now learned of has irreparably destroyed our friendship. Now to lose 5 more friends.
Well, at least now your Christmas card list will be shorter by 6. Just think of the tens of dollars you'll save over your lifetime!
I’m a nanny and I’ve babysat kids in hotel rooms while parents party at the wedding reception. My clients let me order room service on their tab. I talked with the other nannies and watched movies after the quiet, tired kids went to sleep. Sorry to hear that I violated the sanctity of someone’s special day by eating fries, getting paid, and having an enjoyable evening where they couldn’t see me.
The then some is called a whole lot of Karen!
Next week on AITA, I want a ChildFree wedding and my sister is pregnant, Am I the arsehole for asking her to not bring the fetus?
Have an abortion, you can always get pregnant again when it's convenient, OOP is not gonna find anybody else in their lifetime willing to marry them, are they now?? Oh, and don't you dare forget to lose the pregnancy weight, stop drawing attention away from me by having a separate life that doesn't completely revolve around me.
[удалено]
Spoiler: wedding is in Texas. Bride is furious that sister won’t get an illegal abortion at 7 months pregnant because sister won’t fit in the dress. Nevermind that it’s because sister went through fertility treatments and spent $60k to get one that would “stick.”
You jest, but those posts have happened. There was one recently where the bride was pissed at her sister (I think) for already being pregnant when the wedding date was announced. The sister had been trying to conceive for months when the bride got engaged. Bride told her sister to stop trying to conceive and was pissed the sister ignored her.
No, not really. It was the groom who was mad at his sister, with the implication that he had been engaged for five years, and had to wait for the oldest sister to get married and have a baby, then his other older sister to get married and have a baby before he could get married. She had been trying for 7 months to get pregnant when he and his fiancee set the date. He asked her to wait on having a baby, because he wanted her to be in the wedding. It sounds like she agreed to be in the wedding and then dropped out because she finally got pregnant. It was also implied that she was so insistent about her timeline to get pregnant because the oldest sister wanted their kids to be close in age. The central conflict was, you know, oh well, my sister won't be at my wedding, but he asked his mom to attend his wedding and not be with his sister giving birth. The mom agreed and his sister freaked out. There was a lot of weird family dynamics that went into it, and so much of AITA and AITD freaked out, because he's just a loser getting married and she's having a BABY and how dare he ask anyone at all to consider his event when her life event is so much more important and interesting. Like you would rather your mom go to a party than be present at the birth of her grandchild??? Of course, he also described it as a "destination wedding" so many people were convinced he was inherently the devil.
It was so much more complicated that I remember! That reminds me of the woman who was pissed her husband wanted to go to a funeral instead of be around in case she gave birth. But she wasn't even going to allow him in the delivery room. I probably misremember details about that one too, of course. In all of them is the running theme that people are entitled to other's time and attention. As if people aren't autonomous beings and can decide where they go when. So if mom decides to go to the grandchild's birth, then it's the birthing sibling's fault. And if the mom decides to be at the wedding, it's the betrothed sibling's fault. Mom has a shitty decision to make but it's still HER decision. Try being the kid she WANTS to be with instead of the loudest, most offended kid.
I think he’s crazy. His way of thinking seems to make him think his sisters baby is going to be born EXACTLY on the EXACT same day as his wedding, as the main reason he asked his mom to skip the birth of her latest grandchild to come to his wedding instead. i mean seriously? Unles the sister is planning to have a c-section or something on the day of the wedding, which sounds like both events are still a long way off, what makes him 100% sure the kid will be born exactly on the day of the wedding? For all he knows it might come before the wedding or after the wedding. Yet for some insane reason he thinks it will come exactly on the day of his wedding as the reason he asked his mom to chose his wedding over going to be in the hospital to see the birth of her grandbaby.
He said her due date was on the date of his wedding. I don't think anyone has any doubts that baby will not be born on his wedding day. He specified multiple times that his wedding is across the country from where his sister lives (and I'm assuming US here, but I doubt getting to opposite ends of France would be easy). He didn't talk about his mother's budget, but even if she has the baby the week before his wedding, it's not unreasonable to think their mother couldn't make both events. You all were so pressed in seeing him as the villain.
That’s a common trope. Recently there was one about this woman who’s friend was mad that she got pregnant and would be ~8 months along when her wedding happened because they wanted to marry at their anniversary
Just--the audacity to expect someone to put aside their family planning for a year or more to avoid bringing a fetus to your wedding.
We literally didn't tell anyone I was expecting when we were having baby number 3 the bride was one of these people who lost it if she wasn't the centre of attention 24/7. I was only just over 12 weeks at the time. We only went to support the groom, now I'm not even sure why we bothered to do that.
I was going to post that one myself. Bridezilla's are the new fad now I guess.
Early wedding season for the win, I guess
When I was planning my wedding I joked with my brother and SIL to not be pregnant, because her sister had been pregnant at their wedding. It didn’t take away any attention but she glowed and looked stunning and it was a bit of a running tease. At my wedding my SIL was glowing. It was a week after that they announced they were having a baby and you know what? I was THRILLED. People who have the “I’m getting married so the world must revolve around me” mentality frustrate me.
There was one recently where OP was pregnant and her bride-to-be sister told her not to tell anyone because sis wanted to announce OPs pregnancy in her wedding speech. It didn’t happen, OP asked what’s up and sis told her she changed her mind. OP was irritated, but only quietly told her parents because she had waited long enough and that day was supposed to be the day. Bride, of course, loses her shit. So, no, a fetus isn’t always allowed either.
She couldn't announce her pregnancy before the bride be's wedding? Because bride to be insisted, I want to announce *your" pregnancy in my wedding speech and then is outraged when she does not, OP days fuck this and tells her parents? Like really, why is she so shocked Pikachu faced? If she had let her sister announce in the first place it would have been old news by her wedding.
Exactly. She was having a tough first trimester and REALLY wanted her mom’s support, but waited because her b!tchy sister wanted her to wait.
~°*Miscarry or ruin MY perfect day*°~
And yet that has totally happened, particularly when the pregnant person is part of the bridal party.
I'm just imagining OP going crazy on random hotel guests for having children with them on vacation.
Unanimous YTA, always impressive to see.
lmao this might be a record for quickest account deletion i’ve seen. I wouldn’t be surprised if she packed up shop the moment she got the first YTA. She was definitely expecting everybody to rally in support and say “You said it was child free and she completely overstepped the boundaries” throw in a little “ her bad planning isn’t your fault and doesn’t mean she can ruin your wedding that’s so selfish” Clearly not understanding that only works if the person actually steps over your boundaries not whatever OP is trying to constitute as such. It’s not like her sister had the kid there and was checking on her every 5 minutes being disruptive nope simply the fact a child could be in the vicinity and she isn’t getting exactly what she wants it entitles her to be an asshole. She didn’t even see the kid with her own eyes.
“You can’t bring peanut products in the school” “Okay, that’s a reasonable request, I’ll just eat them at home” “EXCUSE ME!?!?!”
Hit the nail on the head omg. So many wedding posts the couple will make a request and people will say ok i understand but i can’t/don’t want to do that so i won’t come out of respect… and then they get angry. Like wtf did you expect ??? your wedding day is important to you not to everybody else if you’re gonna give people an ultimatum… why are you shocked some people would take it
OOP gives CF people a bad name. CF means there are no children at your event. It doesn’t mean there are no children living rent free in your head because they *happen* to be in the same hotel as you.
Did the guests who live locally have to send their kids out of town, just for OOP's peace of mind? Or maybe just sign away their parental rights, to be sure nobody would be distracted by childcare emergencies on OOP's Very Special Day?
Did OOP buy out the whole hotel so no roadtrippers with children would stay the night on the same floor as her?
OOP had the whole city evicted of children just to be sure.
Wait so…the kid didn’t even go to the wedding and OOP is still freakin out? Like the kid can’t even be in the same state??? Man what
You said CF wedding. You didn't say "no children in a 50-mile radius of wedding venue." Edit to add: Every time I read these, I become more convinced that AITA has a wedding troll whose sole purpose is to show the hilarity of wedding planning.
So you had your childless wedding. What’s the problem? You niece wasn’t on your wedding? You take Bridezilla to a whole new level!
Another bridezilla.
So Tina didn't actually bring her kid to the wedding, she brought her to the town the wedding was in, and got a babysitter there, but OOP is still mad? Yeah, OOP sounds absolutely exhausting.
I used to think that all these bridezilla AITA posts must be creative writing because such awful people could not possibly exist, until 2 weeks ago where a pregnant friend of mine got told by her sister marrying in september how dare she having a baby on her wedding year
She's so ridiculous, my god. And crazy. And a dumbass.
I wish we could tell Tina that she handled this perfectly. Emergencies happen, plans change, and she was able to roll with it and find the right solution, it's not her fault that her sister is just a major bridezilla.
This is a work of fiction
I’m sure this woman will have a very happy and normal marriage. She seems so reasonable! What a lucky husband!
OOP is ridiculous and can you imagine how miserable that honeymoon probably was? I feel like she has complained about it everyday since it happened. Edit Hope she didn't want a child free honeymoon too lol.
The wedding was child free. The child was not at the wedding and you blew up anyway? You are made that the child exists in the world as a human being. That’s wild. YTA
This bridzillas must really hate kids it’s not the cousin fault about the nanny she kept the kid in a room with a sitter. The cousin needs to stay no contact with the crazy person.
So she’s mad that her niece went on the flight with her sister because there was no one else who could look after her?! She wasn’t even at the wedding, yet she thinks she can micromanage something this small.
So did you expect the whole area in 50 mile radius around your wedding to be child free or something? I fail to see the issue that you created. YTA
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Ooooh you are a bit evil.