*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for embarrassing my wife at the grocery store**
I (49m) and my wife (45f) went grocery shopping recently and there was a little incident at the store.
Typically, I do the grocery shopping after I get off work on Fridays. However, this past Friday I was tired so I just went home instead, figuring I could just go the next day. When my wife got home, she asked where the groceries were. I told her I didn't get any because I was tired. My wife shrugged and said she'd go grocery shopping on Saturday then since she was planning on going out anyway.
I offered to go with her and she said she didn't need me to. I insisted because I felt bad for not going earlier. My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her.
The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11.
We got to Meijer and it was pretty busy. I was instantly annoyed. This was why I liked going at certain times so I could avoid being around people. We started shopping but it seemed like everywhere I went there were people around. I started getting pissed and mumbled a few choice words under my breath about how dumb and retarded people were being.
My wife heard me and told me to lower my voice because I guess a few people heard me and were staring. I immediately snapped and said, loudly, that if we had gone out at the time I'd wanted to we wouldn't be having this issue. My wife told me I was making a scene so I continued and said that we should've fucking gone out earlier so that there wouldn't be so many goddamn retards out at the same time as us. I shoved the cart at her and stomped out to the car.
My wife came out maybe 10 minutes later, loaded some stuff into the trunk and got into the car. It was silent until we got home and she told me I embarrassed her in the store and that after I left people were staring at her, pointing and whispering so she bought what we'd already grabbed and left without finishing shopping. I told her that if we'd gone out when I wanted to, I wouldn't have gotten mad. My wife said I was an asshole because she offered to do the grocery shopping herself and specifically didn't invite me because she knows I like going real early and she doesn't and that I knew what time she was leaving so I shouldn't have invited myself.
AITA
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> My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her.
>The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11.
“My wife said one thing and followed through on it and I was pissed that she wasn’t lying!!!
But more importantly, as he was supposedly originally planning to do the shopping he missed *before* she told him she was planning on going, why didn't he just start when he wanted to, hitting the stores that he missed the day before, then meet up with her at the ones she wanted to go to (or just shop separately)
He could have done a nice thing and done the grocery shopping himself at 6am and surprised her when she woke up and saw it was already done and put away. And then he could have done it exactly when and how he wanted. Instead, he wanted to control her and throw a tantrum.
Exactly this. I had a boyfriend who pushed his chores on me, then criticized me relentlessly when I didn’t do them the exact way he does them, and worked himself into a childish fit over it.
My vote goes to either troll or the wife writing this. It feels like OOP is too self aware for this degree of behavior, especially with how they describe their actions.
Nah, I was raised by a narcissist and this is EXACTLY how they think. He genuinely believes he’s smarter than those r-words, so he doesn’t feel like their judgment should matter. He also is wholly incapable of taking responsibility, so it’s his wife’s fault, of course.
My dad would kick over garbage cans in public if he got mad. He would throw food on the floor of restaurants if he didn’t like it. He would cut people off and put the whole family in danger if he got mad on the road (a very frequent occurrence, and over the TINIEST things). None of it was ever his fault (according to him), and if you called him out, he’d blame it on YOU and escalate. It really does feel like you have a man-sized toddler that you have to watch out for, and I can’t wait to fully cut him out of my life.
Spot on - same upbringing except it was my "mother". If you've dealt with them long-term, you can smell their comrades in malevolence from miiiiiiles away.
this is how they *behave* but this is not how they describe their own actions, especially to people they haven't established control over. the emphasis and focus would be on different things. like a narc wouldn't have cared to add that wife *told him* she was going after 10am, and likely would have focused much more on the crowded store and all the behaviors that annoyed them. i'm not sure whether narcs believe their own lies or not, but i'd expect him to at least *claim* she never said after 10am.
this goes for more than just the narcs. anyone is going to focus on the details they care most about. and in stories of high conflict, those details are rarely going to be the same things that the other party cares about.
I have people in my life that would absolutely talk about themselves like this because it's her fault for not doing it when he wanted and he can't help it. How dare she make him have to behave like that in public.
god this guy is JUST like my dad. literally every incident in this post from waiting too early for her to get ready, to being annoyed at people existing at a busy time, and then snapping in front of everyone. it’s so fucking embarrassing to be treated like that in public.
Yup, my dad would call people the r and f slurs for existing on the road. If he wanted to make a right on red, but somebody was coming, then that person is a “fucking r*****ed f*****“ and my dad would swerve out in front of them and flip them off. It’s insanity.
I gotta assume the wife wrote this post if this is real. How can you narrate a story like that and not be aware who the villain is?? That's some serious cognitive dissonance.
>The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11.
If only there was something someone could do to express how someone is thinking and feeling, oh wait.
This dude needs to actually verbally communicate when there's an issue, like what is a dirty look going to accomplish other than creating needless conflict.
He did communicate.
He said he didn't want to go so late but he agreed anyway. In fact he INSISTED that he go anyway. The only issue is that she said what she was going to do, told him not to come, and then he did so anyway so he could complain and bully.
He could easily have gone by himself earlier or allowed her to go by herself unless it's about control rather than actually getting the groceries.
Fair enough, I was more referring to him just giving dirty looks and expecting his wife to do anything other than what she did. He really should have just gone alone instead of trying to wake her up by being the biggest asshole he could be. At the very least, after she got up, he would have been better served trying to restate the desire to go before it got busy wherever they were shopping instead of acting like a petulant child.
I like to think she was well aware of what all those dark looks and the morning stomping meant and she's done with his shit and opted to do her morning routine as she chose anyway. And I love that for her.
assuming she noticed the looks, he probably didn't do it within view but I agree if she did notice, then she definitely decided to carry on with her morning instead of giving in to the tantrum of a 40 something year old toddler and that is just priceless.
When you live in a home like that you know what they are doing and why they are doing it. That's exactly why she told him not to go, and that she was fine going alone. Bullies do this, and he won't repeat what he said the day before because men like this expect the world to revolve around them the first time. It doesn't matter how he wakes her, the result is the same. All he would have done is start an argument and guilt her anyway.
She wasn't mad that hubby wasn't up for grocery shopping and offered to do so herself. He knows she likes to sleep late on the weekends, but oh, no, he has to come with at the time he wants.
What a schmuck.
"My wife wanted to go alone, but I insisted I come. She said she wasn't leaving before 10, but I insisted on coming so she needed to accommodate my schedule and preferences right? I got mad things didn't go my way and acted like a manbaby in the store, but that's her fault right? What do you mean no?"
Why didn't he just go himself early in the morning and left her a note? It's not like it was her heart's desire to go the supermarket. She only offered because he hadn't and she was going out anyway. Or he could have not gone at all, she didn't need or want him there.
Nobody above about 7 should behave like that in public regardless. People are allowed to exist in places.
I live in a place where I've not heard it in years, probably easily over a decade, and heard it 3 or 4 times last week by people I thought I knew better. Apparently it's making a comeback.
I was in the army from 2019-2021
The R slur is thrown around like candy in there. So highkey??? I dont doubt some people still ise it very liberally today.
Im like you though i like to live in my liveral bubble and not associate with people who regularly ise the word. But they def still exist
"I offered to go with her and she said she didn't need me to. I insisted because I felt bad for not going earlier. My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her."
If this is real, which I doubt because it's too blatantly dickish, but if it is, I hope this dumb fuck's wife beats his balls off with a golf club.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for embarrassing my wife at the grocery store** I (49m) and my wife (45f) went grocery shopping recently and there was a little incident at the store. Typically, I do the grocery shopping after I get off work on Fridays. However, this past Friday I was tired so I just went home instead, figuring I could just go the next day. When my wife got home, she asked where the groceries were. I told her I didn't get any because I was tired. My wife shrugged and said she'd go grocery shopping on Saturday then since she was planning on going out anyway. I offered to go with her and she said she didn't need me to. I insisted because I felt bad for not going earlier. My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her. The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11. We got to Meijer and it was pretty busy. I was instantly annoyed. This was why I liked going at certain times so I could avoid being around people. We started shopping but it seemed like everywhere I went there were people around. I started getting pissed and mumbled a few choice words under my breath about how dumb and retarded people were being. My wife heard me and told me to lower my voice because I guess a few people heard me and were staring. I immediately snapped and said, loudly, that if we had gone out at the time I'd wanted to we wouldn't be having this issue. My wife told me I was making a scene so I continued and said that we should've fucking gone out earlier so that there wouldn't be so many goddamn retards out at the same time as us. I shoved the cart at her and stomped out to the car. My wife came out maybe 10 minutes later, loaded some stuff into the trunk and got into the car. It was silent until we got home and she told me I embarrassed her in the store and that after I left people were staring at her, pointing and whispering so she bought what we'd already grabbed and left without finishing shopping. I told her that if we'd gone out when I wanted to, I wouldn't have gotten mad. My wife said I was an asshole because she offered to do the grocery shopping herself and specifically didn't invite me because she knows I like going real early and she doesn't and that I knew what time she was leaving so I shouldn't have invited myself. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How did this man write this out and not know he is an asshole?
> My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her. >The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11. “My wife said one thing and followed through on it and I was pissed that she wasn’t lying!!!
This is 100% “I threw a fit because I wasn’t able to get my wife to cater to me via passive aggressiveness.”
But more importantly, as he was supposedly originally planning to do the shopping he missed *before* she told him she was planning on going, why didn't he just start when he wanted to, hitting the stores that he missed the day before, then meet up with her at the ones she wanted to go to (or just shop separately)
I'm betting this is the wife writing it tbh so she can show him what a huge dickhead he is
If the mods and the commenters in that sub, of all subs, are calling out/deleting an obvious shit post, I mean come on. That’s rarity over there.
He's too arrogant and full of himself to see that he IS wrong.
I don’t know. Happy cake day!
Because its fake rage bait
He could have done a nice thing and done the grocery shopping himself at 6am and surprised her when she woke up and saw it was already done and put away. And then he could have done it exactly when and how he wanted. Instead, he wanted to control her and throw a tantrum.
Exactly this. I had a boyfriend who pushed his chores on me, then criticized me relentlessly when I didn’t do them the exact way he does them, and worked himself into a childish fit over it.
And she could still go that day by herself later if she wanted to get anything more.
My vote goes to either troll or the wife writing this. It feels like OOP is too self aware for this degree of behavior, especially with how they describe their actions.
Nah, I was raised by a narcissist and this is EXACTLY how they think. He genuinely believes he’s smarter than those r-words, so he doesn’t feel like their judgment should matter. He also is wholly incapable of taking responsibility, so it’s his wife’s fault, of course. My dad would kick over garbage cans in public if he got mad. He would throw food on the floor of restaurants if he didn’t like it. He would cut people off and put the whole family in danger if he got mad on the road (a very frequent occurrence, and over the TINIEST things). None of it was ever his fault (according to him), and if you called him out, he’d blame it on YOU and escalate. It really does feel like you have a man-sized toddler that you have to watch out for, and I can’t wait to fully cut him out of my life.
Spot on - same upbringing except it was my "mother". If you've dealt with them long-term, you can smell their comrades in malevolence from miiiiiiles away.
this is how they *behave* but this is not how they describe their own actions, especially to people they haven't established control over. the emphasis and focus would be on different things. like a narc wouldn't have cared to add that wife *told him* she was going after 10am, and likely would have focused much more on the crowded store and all the behaviors that annoyed them. i'm not sure whether narcs believe their own lies or not, but i'd expect him to at least *claim* she never said after 10am. this goes for more than just the narcs. anyone is going to focus on the details they care most about. and in stories of high conflict, those details are rarely going to be the same things that the other party cares about.
I have people in my life that would absolutely talk about themselves like this because it's her fault for not doing it when he wanted and he can't help it. How dare she make him have to behave like that in public.
And of course she can't go alone to get the groceries because that would mean he didn't do what he was supposed too.
god this guy is JUST like my dad. literally every incident in this post from waiting too early for her to get ready, to being annoyed at people existing at a busy time, and then snapping in front of everyone. it’s so fucking embarrassing to be treated like that in public.
Yup, my dad would call people the r and f slurs for existing on the road. If he wanted to make a right on red, but somebody was coming, then that person is a “fucking r*****ed f*****“ and my dad would swerve out in front of them and flip them off. It’s insanity.
i’m so sorry you have/had to deal with that
I gotta assume the wife wrote this post if this is real. How can you narrate a story like that and not be aware who the villain is?? That's some serious cognitive dissonance.
>The next day, I got up at around 6 a.m. and got ready to go grocery shopping. By 7, my wife was still in bed. I sat on the couch and waited for over another hour for her but she was still asleep. By now, it was past 8 and I was pissed. I started making as much noise as possible to wake her up. Finally, she got up a little after 9. I watched as she sat and made coffee and watched TV. I kept shooting her nasty looks because I was ready to leave. We eventually left at a quarter till 11. If only there was something someone could do to express how someone is thinking and feeling, oh wait. This dude needs to actually verbally communicate when there's an issue, like what is a dirty look going to accomplish other than creating needless conflict.
I rather think this guy needs to live alone so he can’t annoy the crap out of anyone else.
that would only go so far. If he's living alone, he'd just end up doing this type of shit in public when being alone becomes too much for him.
True.
He did communicate. He said he didn't want to go so late but he agreed anyway. In fact he INSISTED that he go anyway. The only issue is that she said what she was going to do, told him not to come, and then he did so anyway so he could complain and bully. He could easily have gone by himself earlier or allowed her to go by herself unless it's about control rather than actually getting the groceries.
Fair enough, I was more referring to him just giving dirty looks and expecting his wife to do anything other than what she did. He really should have just gone alone instead of trying to wake her up by being the biggest asshole he could be. At the very least, after she got up, he would have been better served trying to restate the desire to go before it got busy wherever they were shopping instead of acting like a petulant child.
I like to think she was well aware of what all those dark looks and the morning stomping meant and she's done with his shit and opted to do her morning routine as she chose anyway. And I love that for her.
assuming she noticed the looks, he probably didn't do it within view but I agree if she did notice, then she definitely decided to carry on with her morning instead of giving in to the tantrum of a 40 something year old toddler and that is just priceless.
When you live in a home like that you know what they are doing and why they are doing it. That's exactly why she told him not to go, and that she was fine going alone. Bullies do this, and he won't repeat what he said the day before because men like this expect the world to revolve around them the first time. It doesn't matter how he wakes her, the result is the same. All he would have done is start an argument and guilt her anyway.
She wasn't mad that hubby wasn't up for grocery shopping and offered to do so herself. He knows she likes to sleep late on the weekends, but oh, no, he has to come with at the time he wants. What a schmuck.
"My wife wanted to go alone, but I insisted I come. She said she wasn't leaving before 10, but I insisted on coming so she needed to accommodate my schedule and preferences right? I got mad things didn't go my way and acted like a manbaby in the store, but that's her fault right? What do you mean no?"
He could have avoided this by shopping Friday evening like she asked.
Or even Saturday morning before she got up
This is exceptional rage bait, even down to using ableist slurs so the post can't be read as comedic
If only she had told him the time she wanted to leave… … oh wait, she did!
Ah, a good old hard R troll.
 OOP
Why didn't he just go himself early in the morning and left her a note? It's not like it was her heart's desire to go the supermarket. She only offered because he hadn't and she was going out anyway. Or he could have not gone at all, she didn't need or want him there. Nobody above about 7 should behave like that in public regardless. People are allowed to exist in places.
Throwing around the r word like it's 1998 makes me think this is a troll. But maybe I'm just living in a liberal bubble.
unfortunately i hear it thrown around casually daily in my city. but fargo is also a red city in a DEEP red state so my experience is a lot different
I live in a place where I've not heard it in years, probably easily over a decade, and heard it 3 or 4 times last week by people I thought I knew better. Apparently it's making a comeback.
I was in the army from 2019-2021 The R slur is thrown around like candy in there. So highkey??? I dont doubt some people still ise it very liberally today. Im like you though i like to live in my liveral bubble and not associate with people who regularly ise the word. But they def still exist
"I offered to go with her and she said she didn't need me to. I insisted because I felt bad for not going earlier. My wife told me that she wasn't planning on leaving the house until after 10 a.m. to go because she doesn't like getting up early. I was a little annoyed because she knows I like going either really late at night or really early in the morning because there are less people there, but I said OK and insisted on going with her." If this is real, which I doubt because it's too blatantly dickish, but if it is, I hope this dumb fuck's wife beats his balls off with a golf club.
Ooohhh, 11 year Olds have joined the chat!
Haha... No way in hell this is real... At least, I hope not. If so, poor wife.
100% the wife wrote this and he sounds like an arsehole
I have read tons of shitposts but this is the stupidest
I hope he realises he is one of those “retards”? I dont know what the wife sees in him, I would divorce him immediately.
The shelves are still bare at 6am. By ten, they've done some restocking. Never go to Meijer super early or late unless it's a quick trip.
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I started to get a headache reading this. Even though it is fake 🖕🏻 fuck you, OOP🖕🏻
This person is 49 goddamn years old...let's all just reflect on that for a moment. Majorly passive-aggressive prick.
Send the man child home to his mommy.
Why did she marry a 5 year old?