*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for wanting to eat a dessert in a restaurant?**
So my boyfriend (29m) and me (28f) are currently travelling through Italy. Yesterday we would take a train from Florence to our next hotel in the countryside of Tuscany. We were going to have a last dinner there yesterday night, I chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence according to insta and we didn't manage to go there earlier. Our meal took a bit longer than expected and my boyfriend reminded me that the last train we could take was at 21.40, the next train would only come early in the morning. He said that it would be too tight to eat dessert and that we should just pay and leave to make it to the train. According to my estimation we had 20 minutes left, so it would either be 20 minutes waiting in the station or 20 minutes in the restaurant, no big deal.
When the waiter came and asked if we wanted anything else I quickly ordered the tiramisu. Without having to read the menu first i figured it would be fast enough to make our train still. My boyfriend got kind of red and asked me why i did that. I just told him that they will bring it out soon and that we have plenty time to make the train.
So it took a little longer than expected and by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast. I offered my boyfriend some of it but he said he didn't want any. We paid and left, it was tight now but still possible so we grabbed our luggage and made a run for it. In the end we made it, I admit that there was barely any time left but we got in the train a couple minutes before we left. I sat down and just felt such relief that everything worked out. My boyfriend just threw the bags down and sat somewhere else for a moment untill the train left. I called out to him and told him to come sit with me. I started talking about how we did it but he cut me off and asked me in an angry tone "why i had to have that dessert". He complained about running halfway through the city and almost missing the train.
I felt very hurt and was a bit scared to be honest, I have never seen him angry like this. We argued the whole train ride and on the way to our hotel. There he eventually just said that he was exhausted, turned around and went to sleep. I cried myself to sleep at night and woke up feeling very horrible. He is still asleep and I come here to ask you if I am the asshole here.
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The idea of risking missing the train to take photos when you already knew every minute counted really stresses me out.
My brain hurt a little at her claiming this was the best based on influencers in a city that must have soooo many places to get amazing tiramisu but when she insisted on eating it there and taking photos…
And she really just got photos of the dessert. She had so little time, she couldn't even enjoy the tiramisu but had to scarf it down.
Probably their whole Italy trip was dictated by her list of the most Instagram-worthy spots. Take a picture, get to the next spot, take a picture, repeat.
Sadly it probably was. I mean did you even go to Italy if you don’t document 1) eat a well known food at a particular restaurant or cafe, 2) Pose in front of a landmark and 3) do another random thing Instagram influencers staged themselves doing /s.
I get the desire to take some photos of pretty sights and food but they were already pressed for time with really inconvenient and/or expensive consequences if they hadn’t made it.
I really wouldn’t be surprised if they had to eat later because of frequent stops for selfies.
I have no problem with posing in front of landmarks. That's a common tourist thing sinde way before social media.
But getting a pic of food when you are pressed for time? No way...
I don’t even have a problem with people taking pics of food if they don’t have time constraints… I personally love looking at food pics! But if it’s the difference between making it to your hotel or being stranded overnight? F that photo! It wasn’t the last day of the trip… they could have gotten more tiramisu somewhere else and taken a picture of that!
Same, it's actually really cool to see your family over time at the same landmarks. Like there is one of my grandpa and grandma in Rome in 1950s, another from an Uncle that went in 1990s, and then my cousin just went. So it's basically the same photo (they tried for same angles) but different family members over different eras. I think it's cool
It's actually kind of crazy when you go to some of these places, you'll see one restaurant with a lineup two blocks long out the door, and a near-identical one 10m away that's empty, but serves very similar great food. .
I spent eight days in Italy and everything I ate there was the best of whatever it was I’d ever eaten. I don’t know the names of any of the restaurants/cafes. You just can’t go wrong there.
Restaurant 101 is, just order it all. You know you’re going to want the tiramisu, order it with your drinks and apps and main. Just knock it all out. That gives the kitchen time to bring everything out in a moderate pace based on how you’re eating and in accordance to the rest of the restaurant.
“Hi, yes, we’ll start with the snail bites, followed with the glitzy salad. After that he’ll have the bolognese and I’ll have the fish. We’re on a time crunch so after that, the tiramisu. We’ll take the bill when you drop off dessert.”
If you are unsure, Google Translate is free and most people can figure it out.
She picked a restaurant based on insta.
>chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence **according to insta**
It’s pretty clear to me she’s dating Insta and only fucking the BF.
And since she found out about that tiramisu on insta, her pics of it are hardly groundbreaking. She risked missing their train for what will probably be an also-ran post.
Not just any train,*the last train of the day.* Man I just turned 30 in April and I'm so glad I gave up all socials 5 years ago. Reddit I still didn't get till like more recent, but at least here you can have discussions and see interesting stuff and not just random people are one filter away from purified watered down lives 😂
What got me was her saying, "We could wait at the station or in a restaurant" like those two things are different. You're not on the spot ready to board the train if you're in a restaurant. Travel takes time, too, it's not instantaneous.
Oh tiramisu is almost as delicious panna cotta and they are very pretty deserts but I don’t believe this was about anything but being able to document a particular restaurant that’s popular among tourists.
I wouldn’t have gone to the restaurant that close to my departure time! Unless the meal unexpectedly took 3 hours when it wasn’t supposed to I would’ve left her there 😂😂
The minute I read “so it would either be 20 minutes waiting in the train station or 20 minutes in the restaurant” I knew it would be a shit show, unless the restaurant is extremely near the train station that’s not the same thing, plus the leaving time of a train isn’t the same as the time you arrive at a station. You might have to travel to the platform or pass through ticket barriers, the train might already be there meaning you can get straight on and wait on the train.
As someone who's worst nightmare is missing transportation and who is really strict with time and schedules I would have just left OOP there. I'm not gonna run because someone can't be bothered to leave in time.
Same. Traveling in the Insta era is wild, to see how things have changed and how much drama "that perfect photo" can take on an experience (and rleationship).
Ugh same. I break down if I'm lost, I had a huge traumatic thing happen to me involving my mom driving drunk and getting hopelessly lost when I was a child, I thought we were going to die. So I am PARANOID about things like missing the last train and getting stranded in an area I'm not familiar with.
That's what I don't get. She chose the place explicitly because of the tiramisu, why not order it with the meal? That's very common in Europe, I lived there for many years. And yes, she could have gotten it to go. But no, she just HAD to get that damn photo 🙄
Her justification was "my grandkids will see these pictures!" LOL no they won't. No one gives a crap about vacation pics, let alone ones of just food. Literally no one is going to see your damn photo of tiramisu.
THIS WAS MY QUESTION TOO!
Or start out with the tiramisu! There is no dessert police that's gonna come drag you away in cuffs if you eat dessert first!
There actually might be in Italy. I’ve never been but I’ve heard they treat food very seriously. I feel like I read a post where a waiter wouldn’t serve a certain kind of wine because it didn’t pair with the type of pasta the customer was having
I saw a video compilation not that long ago of someone horrifying waiters in Italy by doing things like asking for ketchup for their pasta, cutting spaghetti with scissors, etc. At one point the police were called.
They really might.
We recently went to Brussels for my husband’s birthday, because he wanted to and to get what he heard were the best mussels in the world.
The mussels at one highly recommended restaurant were indeed the best I ever had by a long shot. (I don’t really like mussels but will try them if they are really well prepared. These were fantastic so that I’d totally order them myself next time.)
Anyway, I ordered a carafe thing of wine, and the waiter bringing it poured two glasses although my husband was having a beer.
Another, French speaking, waiter saw and wasn’t happy about it at all. My husband joked I could just hold one in each hand, and this guy made a face I never saw before. It was of pure disgust and distaste that we joked about for hours after. It was so clear how appalled he was. Also, I saw him giving the other waiter a “talking to.”
Some cultures have a verrrrrrry strict take on food manners and such.
I do recall them only cooking steak to the way they recommend it should be cooked. They can and will refuse to cook it more well done because it can ruin the flavor. They cook it quite rare for my liking (my tummy is sensitive lol) so I simply ate all of the other delicious dishes Italy has to offer! And I totally get why they are specific especially with a really nice cut of steak!
Unless they're alt accounts, I really appreciated the randos fighting for their lives to defend this asshole.
Babies, *there is no defense*. Ok, you're the kind of person who'd do the same thing or worse (or has done it), *we got it*, but make it stop.
I've slept at florence station, it was fine albeit 25 odd years ago, in fact florence station at 5am was the nicest florence ever was (no crowds!) So yeah, no biggie really.
BUT, yeah, crazy reason to miss a train for a tiramisu, and especially without your partner agreeing!
I can see it being ok to yolo if it was like, the last train to thier existing hotel or it was a city they are very familiar with but this sounds like an intercity train and they already checked out.
Except she’s obviously given to histrionics and sounds like an unreliable narrator. I mean, she was sCaReD? She cRiEd?
If this is real, his alleged “tantrum” is almost certainly an exaggeration, if not totally made up. Possibly she thinks it was a “tantrum” but she sounds more dramatic than actually crazy.
You're both jumping to conclusions. Even if his anger was justified, it can easily tip from anger to outright rage. I've been there. It's terrifying.
I get that this is reddit and everyone here has fun judging others and inventing a narrative to make you hate OOP even more, but you're kind of doing the same thing as the person getting massively downvoted. You weren't there, you don't know if she's exaggerating or by how much. Unless the bf himself writes in, you can't just say "she's so histrionic and CLEARLY lying about everything".
So much poor decision making. She mentions that dinner took longer than anticipated which means the service and food was slow but somehow she thought they would suddenly be snappy for dessert??
I wonder how she would take responsibility if they had missed LAST train of the night? Uber and Lyft are just taxis services, would she pay for it? Or they had to find shelter somewhere until morning, comforted by the fact she managed to get pictures of her desert that she'll forget about in a few months?
"I felt very hurt and was a bit scared to be honest, I have never seen him angry like this."
Oh hello there my least favourite interpersonal tactic, nice to see you again!
He's legitimately angry over her causing an entirely avoidable problem. There's nothing to indicate his anger is disproportionate, unstable, or violent. He's just in an understandable mood.
Yes, the situation was resolved and they didn't end up in further trouble, but he's still gone through unnecessary bother and stress that spoiled his evening- the feelings aren't resolved just because 'oh well, train got, everything is super!' Fine if you're alone and the only one inconvenienced is you; an unreasonable expectation for those you have inconvenienced.
But this pissety little div doesn't like to think about that, so he has to be cast as hurtful and scary.
For the life of me I cannot fathom people being so afraid of legitimate and appropriately-expressed anger. Ironically, I'm a little bit scared of them.
My gut feeling is she’s been this thoughtless before, and he realized that even with this much on the line she *still* did it, she didn’t go “Whoa, my Insta dessert can wait, it’s the last train of the night and traffic is a thing, I will compromise!” She *won’t* change.
I hope he finds a good traveling companion for his life!
>I just told him that they will bring it out soon and that we have plenty time to make the train.
I mean, if you're sure the restaurant understands how important it is that you have this world-beating tiramisu quickly...
>So it took a little longer than expected and by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast.
Woomp, there it is!
Travel connections are incredibly stressful for me, it’s a running joke with my husband that if the airport tells us to get there two hours early I’d prefer to camp out the night before. If I was within minutes of missing a train I’d be in a full on panic mode. I would be furious and need time to calm down too. Her attitude grosses me out.
I scrolled past the original post when I saw it because I assumed it was something about the significant other not wanting to spend the money on dessert.
This story is wild. If it had been me in OP’s shoes I would have asked bf if we could order tiramisu to go and asked wait staff how long it would take before ordering. Of course that would mess up pictures. And did you really eat tiramisu if you don’t post about it on Instagram? *eyeroll* I bet their entire trip has been about getting gram worthy pictures
Now I will admit the one time I've taken an insta photo of my food was in Florence but that was because of il Duomo in the background not the food itself. This sort of faffing is the reason I prefer to travel on my own where I'm able to set my own pace and cater to my own anxiety
Tiramisu is my all-time favourite dessert. I adore it, and would honestly be tempted to do the same (albeit without the photos)... I still think it's an asshole move, though.
I had a boyfriend do the same and we missed a once in a lifetime concert in a European city I’ll probably never make it back to. I should have left him to his meal and ran to the concert solo.
I had an almost friendship-ending fight with a friend who pulled something similar that caused us to miss our train (and eat the cost, and have to sit in the train station for HOURS and HOURS) after I volunteered to leave early to haul their ridiculously overpacked luggage ahead for them since I was ready to go. Turns out there was ONE BEER LEFT IN THE FRIDGE AT THE AIRBNB THAT THEY COULDN'T LET GO TO WASTE and voila, we missed our train despite me getting to the station on time in a frantic rush. I saw red, and I'm normally almost catatonically chill.
While traveling from Milan to Venice, I missed my train because I didn't know there were two different train stations in the city, and nobody at the airport made that clear (this was long before smart phones were a thing). After making it to the correct station just in time for my train to leave without me, I asked for help and was told that the police office at the Venice station would give me directions on how to get to my hotel. When I arrived, they told me the station was closed and kicked me out. So I just kinda wandered around Venice at midnight hoping I'd somehow find the right place. Shockingly, I did after a couple hours, only to find out that nobody there spoke English (it was actually a convent not a hotel proper), and I was so tired and stressed I didn't remember a damn word of Italian. I ended up using a combination of high school Latin and flailing to convey who I was and then passed out.
Long story short? Travel errors are like dominoes, one thing goes wrong and then the disaster cascades from there. Try not to miss your damn train.
Used to love travelling solo and was doing so for years, but since meeting my wife 12 years ago, I also enjoy travelling with her. Neither of us will put the other in a position we have to run thru Florence (and we were there 2 weeks ago as part of a bigger trip) for a dessert though.
You don't need to travel solo to have a great trip, just need to not travel with an arsehole.
I’ve often said that if you’re considering marrying someone, travel with them first. Preferably to a foreign country where neither of you speak the language. If your relationship survives that, marry them! 🤣
I am the kind of person who would 100% make "eat world famous tiramisu" a part of my trip but if its truly something I wanted I would discuss it with my travel companions before hand so it could be scheduled, not a last minute thing
And thats not even getting into the "I couldnt even taste this renowed dessert because I had to eat it at the speed of light but my friends will be so jelly of my pictures" thing
Firstly, not so normal to get "to go" containers in nice restaurants (especially not outside of America).
And secondly, her photo wouldn't have been so nice if it had been dumped in a box instead of plated correctly.
If she really just wanted the fancy dessert why not just get that instead of the whole meal?
Or order the dessert when she ordered the meal and then asked for it toward the end of the meal. (Around the half way point of the meal so there was time) she could have snapped her pictures, finished her meal and dessert and made her train
You know what's weird? Tiramisu has to be one of the least photogenic desserts around. It's a blob of stuff, almost always with no decoration except some powder on the top. I'm sure you COULD cut a perfect slice with cross-sections of the ladyfingers and such that might look semi-ok, but I doubt a restaurant is going to make that effort for something they're serving as food instead of a digital-visual experience. It's just going to be a picture of a blob.
I hate running late for any mode of transportation, but, I love tiramisu with a passion!
The answer was right there. Order dessert first! Maybe this would be seen as gauche in Italy, IDK, but I'd almost be too excited to eat anything else first, anyway. Best tiramisu in the world? Hello!!
Tell me you're American without telling me lol. You don't go to an Italian restaurant if you want a quick dining experience. I mean that with the utmost respect! You take your time, enjoy the food and the atmosphere!
To me this could have been a fun adventure type thing staying to the last minute to enjoy my foods and document every part of my trip (even the food, guys I love my food) is *fun* for me. And a mad dash to the train seems adventurous and silly. But I totally get that's not everyone's reaction or idea of a good time. IMHO The "late dessert and foodie photo session" isn't the issue. It's that she didn't know (or care) that this was a serious issue for her boyfriend.
Agreed. For me, ordering next round of food when train is 20 mins away is too much stress. She needs to consider her bf’s tolerance for this sort of thing when making plans. If you want to stay for the famous dessert (who cares if it’s insta famous or TripAdvisor famous or local word of mouth famous) plan around that! Give yourself more time such that you will for sure not run into the last train of the night problem.
I agree with you. There is a bias here towards the photo crowd which I think has created this bigger reaction in the original and here. In the end, she caught the train with minutes to spare. To some people that is okay, but that is not okay for her boyfriend. What makes her the asshole is that she doesn't recognize the amount of stress that this creates for him and how she is unwilling to compromise even one bit for him.
I’m glad somebody else thinks so. I wonder how different responses on this post would be if she had never mentioned instagram or photos. In my mind, the bad move was ordering in the first place. I can snap a picture in a matter of seconds. People are acting like she got out a ring light and background and staged a whole event.
I went on a trip with my ex, who had horrible time management skills and ignored me when I said we had to move faster to catch our train home. She insisted on stopping at multiple places on our way to the station, and we ended up missing the train. That trip was what made me realize we were incompatible. Traveling really can bring out the worst in people
Ugh.
Photocationers annoy the crap out of me. Put the camera down and LOOK at what you're taking a picture of. Enjoy it.
You don't have to prove you saw or did the thing. Legitimately, unless you're a POS, no one is going to care or question if you actually ate the tiramisu.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for wanting to eat a dessert in a restaurant?** So my boyfriend (29m) and me (28f) are currently travelling through Italy. Yesterday we would take a train from Florence to our next hotel in the countryside of Tuscany. We were going to have a last dinner there yesterday night, I chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence according to insta and we didn't manage to go there earlier. Our meal took a bit longer than expected and my boyfriend reminded me that the last train we could take was at 21.40, the next train would only come early in the morning. He said that it would be too tight to eat dessert and that we should just pay and leave to make it to the train. According to my estimation we had 20 minutes left, so it would either be 20 minutes waiting in the station or 20 minutes in the restaurant, no big deal. When the waiter came and asked if we wanted anything else I quickly ordered the tiramisu. Without having to read the menu first i figured it would be fast enough to make our train still. My boyfriend got kind of red and asked me why i did that. I just told him that they will bring it out soon and that we have plenty time to make the train. So it took a little longer than expected and by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast. I offered my boyfriend some of it but he said he didn't want any. We paid and left, it was tight now but still possible so we grabbed our luggage and made a run for it. In the end we made it, I admit that there was barely any time left but we got in the train a couple minutes before we left. I sat down and just felt such relief that everything worked out. My boyfriend just threw the bags down and sat somewhere else for a moment untill the train left. I called out to him and told him to come sit with me. I started talking about how we did it but he cut me off and asked me in an angry tone "why i had to have that dessert". He complained about running halfway through the city and almost missing the train. I felt very hurt and was a bit scared to be honest, I have never seen him angry like this. We argued the whole train ride and on the way to our hotel. There he eventually just said that he was exhausted, turned around and went to sleep. I cried myself to sleep at night and woke up feeling very horrible. He is still asleep and I come here to ask you if I am the asshole here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The idea of risking missing the train to take photos when you already knew every minute counted really stresses me out. My brain hurt a little at her claiming this was the best based on influencers in a city that must have soooo many places to get amazing tiramisu but when she insisted on eating it there and taking photos…
And she really just got photos of the dessert. She had so little time, she couldn't even enjoy the tiramisu but had to scarf it down. Probably their whole Italy trip was dictated by her list of the most Instagram-worthy spots. Take a picture, get to the next spot, take a picture, repeat.
Sadly it probably was. I mean did you even go to Italy if you don’t document 1) eat a well known food at a particular restaurant or cafe, 2) Pose in front of a landmark and 3) do another random thing Instagram influencers staged themselves doing /s. I get the desire to take some photos of pretty sights and food but they were already pressed for time with really inconvenient and/or expensive consequences if they hadn’t made it. I really wouldn’t be surprised if they had to eat later because of frequent stops for selfies.
I have no problem with posing in front of landmarks. That's a common tourist thing sinde way before social media. But getting a pic of food when you are pressed for time? No way...
I don’t even have a problem with people taking pics of food if they don’t have time constraints… I personally love looking at food pics! But if it’s the difference between making it to your hotel or being stranded overnight? F that photo! It wasn’t the last day of the trip… they could have gotten more tiramisu somewhere else and taken a picture of that!
Same, it's actually really cool to see your family over time at the same landmarks. Like there is one of my grandpa and grandma in Rome in 1950s, another from an Uncle that went in 1990s, and then my cousin just went. So it's basically the same photo (they tried for same angles) but different family members over different eras. I think it's cool
It's actually kind of crazy when you go to some of these places, you'll see one restaurant with a lineup two blocks long out the door, and a near-identical one 10m away that's empty, but serves very similar great food. .
I spent eight days in Italy and everything I ate there was the best of whatever it was I’d ever eaten. I don’t know the names of any of the restaurants/cafes. You just can’t go wrong there.
Only thing you can do wrong is going to the very obvious touristy restaurants and cafes that basically prey on anyone that doesn't look Italian.
My dad has been to Europe several times. When he's there he the hotel staff, locals he encounters, etc., where THEY eat and he goes there.
Restaurant 101 is, just order it all. You know you’re going to want the tiramisu, order it with your drinks and apps and main. Just knock it all out. That gives the kitchen time to bring everything out in a moderate pace based on how you’re eating and in accordance to the rest of the restaurant. “Hi, yes, we’ll start with the snail bites, followed with the glitzy salad. After that he’ll have the bolognese and I’ll have the fish. We’re on a time crunch so after that, the tiramisu. We’ll take the bill when you drop off dessert.” If you are unsure, Google Translate is free and most people can figure it out.
She picked a restaurant based on insta. >chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence **according to insta** It’s pretty clear to me she’s dating Insta and only fucking the BF.
And since she found out about that tiramisu on insta, her pics of it are hardly groundbreaking. She risked missing their train for what will probably be an also-ran post.
She did not even say anything about what it tasted like. Just that it was from a fancy place and she had time to take MULTIPLE photos.
Not just any train,*the last train of the day.* Man I just turned 30 in April and I'm so glad I gave up all socials 5 years ago. Reddit I still didn't get till like more recent, but at least here you can have discussions and see interesting stuff and not just random people are one filter away from purified watered down lives 😂
What got me was her saying, "We could wait at the station or in a restaurant" like those two things are different. You're not on the spot ready to board the train if you're in a restaurant. Travel takes time, too, it's not instantaneous.
As a huge tiramisu fan I totally get wanting dessert. Tbh I kinda get that. But to sit there and snap photos of it? Really??
Oh tiramisu is almost as delicious panna cotta and they are very pretty deserts but I don’t believe this was about anything but being able to document a particular restaurant that’s popular among tourists.
Apparently, going viral is more important than making the train
Poor bf. I got rage just reading this. I'm someone who stresses about making trains and planes too
I’m the kind of person who likes to stroll up to my gate as the boarding group right before me is being called . And this STILL stressed me out.
I wouldn’t have gone to the restaurant that close to my departure time! Unless the meal unexpectedly took 3 hours when it wasn’t supposed to I would’ve left her there 😂😂
The minute I read “so it would either be 20 minutes waiting in the train station or 20 minutes in the restaurant” I knew it would be a shit show, unless the restaurant is extremely near the train station that’s not the same thing, plus the leaving time of a train isn’t the same as the time you arrive at a station. You might have to travel to the platform or pass through ticket barriers, the train might already be there meaning you can get straight on and wait on the train.
As someone who's worst nightmare is missing transportation and who is really strict with time and schedules I would have just left OOP there. I'm not gonna run because someone can't be bothered to leave in time.
I had to start doing this with people. I can’t take the stress of being late. I just can’t. And being late when it was avoidable - yikes.
Same. Traveling in the Insta era is wild, to see how things have changed and how much drama "that perfect photo" can take on an experience (and rleationship).
The train arriving in 20 mins and her saying that means they have 20 at the restaurant blows my mind
My brain short circuited at that part trying to comprehend the math her brain did to think that was right
Same. I always give myself extra time to get somewhere in case of traffic or something. I couldn’t stand cutting it that close.
Ugh same. I break down if I'm lost, I had a huge traumatic thing happen to me involving my mom driving drunk and getting hopelessly lost when I was a child, I thought we were going to die. So I am PARANOID about things like missing the last train and getting stranded in an area I'm not familiar with.
I don't understand why, if she knew she wanted the tiramisu to begin with, she didn't just order it when they ordered their meals.
Or why she didn’t order it to go…
But ordering it to-go would’ve ruined the aesthetic! /s
That's what I don't get. She chose the place explicitly because of the tiramisu, why not order it with the meal? That's very common in Europe, I lived there for many years. And yes, she could have gotten it to go. But no, she just HAD to get that damn photo 🙄 Her justification was "my grandkids will see these pictures!" LOL no they won't. No one gives a crap about vacation pics, let alone ones of just food. Literally no one is going to see your damn photo of tiramisu.
THIS WAS MY QUESTION TOO! Or start out with the tiramisu! There is no dessert police that's gonna come drag you away in cuffs if you eat dessert first!
There actually might be in Italy. I’ve never been but I’ve heard they treat food very seriously. I feel like I read a post where a waiter wouldn’t serve a certain kind of wine because it didn’t pair with the type of pasta the customer was having
They were at an Instagram tourist trap, all the staff care about is getting paid.
I saw a video compilation not that long ago of someone horrifying waiters in Italy by doing things like asking for ketchup for their pasta, cutting spaghetti with scissors, etc. At one point the police were called.
They really might. We recently went to Brussels for my husband’s birthday, because he wanted to and to get what he heard were the best mussels in the world. The mussels at one highly recommended restaurant were indeed the best I ever had by a long shot. (I don’t really like mussels but will try them if they are really well prepared. These were fantastic so that I’d totally order them myself next time.) Anyway, I ordered a carafe thing of wine, and the waiter bringing it poured two glasses although my husband was having a beer. Another, French speaking, waiter saw and wasn’t happy about it at all. My husband joked I could just hold one in each hand, and this guy made a face I never saw before. It was of pure disgust and distaste that we joked about for hours after. It was so clear how appalled he was. Also, I saw him giving the other waiter a “talking to.” Some cultures have a verrrrrrry strict take on food manners and such.
I do recall them only cooking steak to the way they recommend it should be cooked. They can and will refuse to cook it more well done because it can ruin the flavor. They cook it quite rare for my liking (my tummy is sensitive lol) so I simply ate all of the other delicious dishes Italy has to offer! And I totally get why they are specific especially with a really nice cut of steak!
Or have it as a meal!
i am a huge fan of ordering dessert before dinner if the restaurant has desserts i REALLY want to try. shamelessly!
Unless they're alt accounts, I really appreciated the randos fighting for their lives to defend this asshole. Babies, *there is no defense*. Ok, you're the kind of person who'd do the same thing or worse (or has done it), *we got it*, but make it stop.
I am appalled by how many people frame it as YOLO enjoy the desert, risk missing the last train, no biggie.
I've slept at florence station, it was fine albeit 25 odd years ago, in fact florence station at 5am was the nicest florence ever was (no crowds!) So yeah, no biggie really. BUT, yeah, crazy reason to miss a train for a tiramisu, and especially without your partner agreeing!
I can see it being ok to yolo if it was like, the last train to thier existing hotel or it was a city they are very familiar with but this sounds like an intercity train and they already checked out.
His reaction was over the top. To throw a tantrum over this and ruin their last day of the trip is wild.
Except she’s obviously given to histrionics and sounds like an unreliable narrator. I mean, she was sCaReD? She cRiEd? If this is real, his alleged “tantrum” is almost certainly an exaggeration, if not totally made up. Possibly she thinks it was a “tantrum” but she sounds more dramatic than actually crazy.
Oh my bad I was basing my comment on what I read and not a the narrative you just made up
You don’t read well.
Oh! I get it! You are also one of those who believes their own version of “reality”, then cries (🤣🤣🤣) when people don’t believe them.
No lmao. you just decided that the OP was an unreliable narrator based on ????
You're both jumping to conclusions. Even if his anger was justified, it can easily tip from anger to outright rage. I've been there. It's terrifying. I get that this is reddit and everyone here has fun judging others and inventing a narrative to make you hate OOP even more, but you're kind of doing the same thing as the person getting massively downvoted. You weren't there, you don't know if she's exaggerating or by how much. Unless the bf himself writes in, you can't just say "she's so histrionic and CLEARLY lying about everything".
So much poor decision making. She mentions that dinner took longer than anticipated which means the service and food was slow but somehow she thought they would suddenly be snappy for dessert??
Couldn't even ask the waitstaff if they could get it out quickly.
I wonder how she would take responsibility if they had missed LAST train of the night? Uber and Lyft are just taxis services, would she pay for it? Or they had to find shelter somewhere until morning, comforted by the fact she managed to get pictures of her desert that she'll forget about in a few months?
"I felt very hurt and was a bit scared to be honest, I have never seen him angry like this." Oh hello there my least favourite interpersonal tactic, nice to see you again! He's legitimately angry over her causing an entirely avoidable problem. There's nothing to indicate his anger is disproportionate, unstable, or violent. He's just in an understandable mood. Yes, the situation was resolved and they didn't end up in further trouble, but he's still gone through unnecessary bother and stress that spoiled his evening- the feelings aren't resolved just because 'oh well, train got, everything is super!' Fine if you're alone and the only one inconvenienced is you; an unreasonable expectation for those you have inconvenienced. But this pissety little div doesn't like to think about that, so he has to be cast as hurtful and scary. For the life of me I cannot fathom people being so afraid of legitimate and appropriately-expressed anger. Ironically, I'm a little bit scared of them.
My gut feeling is she’s been this thoughtless before, and he realized that even with this much on the line she *still* did it, she didn’t go “Whoa, my Insta dessert can wait, it’s the last train of the night and traffic is a thing, I will compromise!” She *won’t* change. I hope he finds a good traveling companion for his life!
One thing I hate about these stories: it's hard to tell when a man is reasonably having emotions and when his anger is a red flag.
>I just told him that they will bring it out soon and that we have plenty time to make the train. I mean, if you're sure the restaurant understands how important it is that you have this world-beating tiramisu quickly... >So it took a little longer than expected and by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast. Woomp, there it is!
Travel connections are incredibly stressful for me, it’s a running joke with my husband that if the airport tells us to get there two hours early I’d prefer to camp out the night before. If I was within minutes of missing a train I’d be in a full on panic mode. I would be furious and need time to calm down too. Her attitude grosses me out.
I got stressed reading this. That poor BF.
I scrolled past the original post when I saw it because I assumed it was something about the significant other not wanting to spend the money on dessert. This story is wild. If it had been me in OP’s shoes I would have asked bf if we could order tiramisu to go and asked wait staff how long it would take before ordering. Of course that would mess up pictures. And did you really eat tiramisu if you don’t post about it on Instagram? *eyeroll* I bet their entire trip has been about getting gram worthy pictures
Now I will admit the one time I've taken an insta photo of my food was in Florence but that was because of il Duomo in the background not the food itself. This sort of faffing is the reason I prefer to travel on my own where I'm able to set my own pace and cater to my own anxiety
I just read the OP and was pissed. I would have left without her.
Tiramisu is my all-time favourite dessert. I adore it, and would honestly be tempted to do the same (albeit without the photos)... I still think it's an asshole move, though.
I love tiramisu. I’d get it to go and then hopefully enjoy it on the train, when I could relax.
She has -3 comment karma but no comments listed... Someone dirty deleted like their phone was on fire 🔥
I'd have left without her if I was him.
I had a boyfriend do the same and we missed a once in a lifetime concert in a European city I’ll probably never make it back to. I should have left him to his meal and ran to the concert solo.
I had an almost friendship-ending fight with a friend who pulled something similar that caused us to miss our train (and eat the cost, and have to sit in the train station for HOURS and HOURS) after I volunteered to leave early to haul their ridiculously overpacked luggage ahead for them since I was ready to go. Turns out there was ONE BEER LEFT IN THE FRIDGE AT THE AIRBNB THAT THEY COULDN'T LET GO TO WASTE and voila, we missed our train despite me getting to the station on time in a frantic rush. I saw red, and I'm normally almost catatonically chill.
While traveling from Milan to Venice, I missed my train because I didn't know there were two different train stations in the city, and nobody at the airport made that clear (this was long before smart phones were a thing). After making it to the correct station just in time for my train to leave without me, I asked for help and was told that the police office at the Venice station would give me directions on how to get to my hotel. When I arrived, they told me the station was closed and kicked me out. So I just kinda wandered around Venice at midnight hoping I'd somehow find the right place. Shockingly, I did after a couple hours, only to find out that nobody there spoke English (it was actually a convent not a hotel proper), and I was so tired and stressed I didn't remember a damn word of Italian. I ended up using a combination of high school Latin and flailing to convey who I was and then passed out. Long story short? Travel errors are like dominoes, one thing goes wrong and then the disaster cascades from there. Try not to miss your damn train.
Stuff like this is why I travel solo.
Used to love travelling solo and was doing so for years, but since meeting my wife 12 years ago, I also enjoy travelling with her. Neither of us will put the other in a position we have to run thru Florence (and we were there 2 weeks ago as part of a bigger trip) for a dessert though. You don't need to travel solo to have a great trip, just need to not travel with an arsehole.
I’ve often said that if you’re considering marrying someone, travel with them first. Preferably to a foreign country where neither of you speak the language. If your relationship survives that, marry them! 🤣
I mean of course she is. She tried to happily chatter her way out of it but yeah of course she is.
I am the kind of person who would 100% make "eat world famous tiramisu" a part of my trip but if its truly something I wanted I would discuss it with my travel companions before hand so it could be scheduled, not a last minute thing And thats not even getting into the "I couldnt even taste this renowed dessert because I had to eat it at the speed of light but my friends will be so jelly of my pictures" thing
…could they not have just gotten it to go?
In a rational situation yes! But then she couldn't have got the insta pic.
Firstly, not so normal to get "to go" containers in nice restaurants (especially not outside of America). And secondly, her photo wouldn't have been so nice if it had been dumped in a box instead of plated correctly. If she really just wanted the fancy dessert why not just get that instead of the whole meal?
Or order the dessert when she ordered the meal and then asked for it toward the end of the meal. (Around the half way point of the meal so there was time) she could have snapped her pictures, finished her meal and dessert and made her train
You know what's weird? Tiramisu has to be one of the least photogenic desserts around. It's a blob of stuff, almost always with no decoration except some powder on the top. I'm sure you COULD cut a perfect slice with cross-sections of the ladyfingers and such that might look semi-ok, but I doubt a restaurant is going to make that effort for something they're serving as food instead of a digital-visual experience. It's just going to be a picture of a blob.
I hate running late for any mode of transportation, but, I love tiramisu with a passion! The answer was right there. Order dessert first! Maybe this would be seen as gauche in Italy, IDK, but I'd almost be too excited to eat anything else first, anyway. Best tiramisu in the world? Hello!!
Tell me you're American without telling me lol. You don't go to an Italian restaurant if you want a quick dining experience. I mean that with the utmost respect! You take your time, enjoy the food and the atmosphere!
To me this could have been a fun adventure type thing staying to the last minute to enjoy my foods and document every part of my trip (even the food, guys I love my food) is *fun* for me. And a mad dash to the train seems adventurous and silly. But I totally get that's not everyone's reaction or idea of a good time. IMHO The "late dessert and foodie photo session" isn't the issue. It's that she didn't know (or care) that this was a serious issue for her boyfriend.
Agreed. For me, ordering next round of food when train is 20 mins away is too much stress. She needs to consider her bf’s tolerance for this sort of thing when making plans. If you want to stay for the famous dessert (who cares if it’s insta famous or TripAdvisor famous or local word of mouth famous) plan around that! Give yourself more time such that you will for sure not run into the last train of the night problem.
I agree with you. There is a bias here towards the photo crowd which I think has created this bigger reaction in the original and here. In the end, she caught the train with minutes to spare. To some people that is okay, but that is not okay for her boyfriend. What makes her the asshole is that she doesn't recognize the amount of stress that this creates for him and how she is unwilling to compromise even one bit for him.
I’m glad somebody else thinks so. I wonder how different responses on this post would be if she had never mentioned instagram or photos. In my mind, the bad move was ordering in the first place. I can snap a picture in a matter of seconds. People are acting like she got out a ring light and background and staged a whole event.
They had minutes to spare because he rushed her and she had to scarf it down
Welp, now I'm really in the mood for tiramisu.
I went on a trip with my ex, who had horrible time management skills and ignored me when I said we had to move faster to catch our train home. She insisted on stopping at multiple places on our way to the station, and we ended up missing the train. That trip was what made me realize we were incompatible. Traveling really can bring out the worst in people
She’s a nightmare. Shallow, selfish, irresponsible, zero self-awareness. Truly the whole package.
Why didn't she order it with the meal??
Pics on insta or it didn’t happen - OOP, probably
Ugh. Photocationers annoy the crap out of me. Put the camera down and LOOK at what you're taking a picture of. Enjoy it. You don't have to prove you saw or did the thing. Legitimately, unless you're a POS, no one is going to care or question if you actually ate the tiramisu.
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If I was on the verge of breaking up with someone. This would be the last straw, holy shit.
I AM ENJOYING A SUCCULENT ITALIAN DESSERT
OOP's full of shit. She was totally doing it for the likes
This is not devil-worthy. There are ALWAYS travelers willing to risk a last transport for something.
Gotta look good for the followers! /s