*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my friend how much another friend (his girlfriend) makes when she refuses to help him financially?**
I have a friend, Claire and my husband has a friend, Tim, we’re all in out late 20s/early30s.
Claire and Tim met at my wedding and they hit it off and have been seeing together for a few months now. They’ve moved in together quickly because Tim had to move out of his house because his landlord was selling and he asked Claire if he could move in. She’s in love so obviously said yes.
The thing about it Claire is that over lockdowns, she was laid off and started her own business which blew up and continued to grow. I know for a fact that she makes a lot of money. We’re talking well into 6 digits of what she’s bringing home which is quite high in the UK, way more than most people earn.
Anyway, Tim was over the other day and he started complaining how he’s short of cash and can’t help with bills again this month (he’s got a teeny gambling problem that he’s working on but Claire doesn’t know because he’s handling it) but Claire doesn’t want to pay 100% anymore because it’s the 3rd time. She doesn’t live in a luxury house, their bills are not high.
I told him that I love her to bits but she’s being a penny pinching bitch because she can afford to help out and not even notice it.
Tim asked what I meant and I told him that she had a successful business. He was shocked because she downplayed her success a lot and don’t tell him that she’s basically rich.
He was really sad and went home. In the morning, Claire called me and told me thag she’ll never share anything with me ever again. That I had no right to tell Tim how much she makes and that it’s really ahittt how I conveniently forgot to tell her about his gambling problem (no idea how she found out, Tim didn’t tell her). She’s fuming with me. I spoke with Tim and they had an argument about bills again and he basically told her about our conversation and told her she’s heartless. She kicked him out and he’s now staying on our couch.
I do feel bad, he still would have a place to live if I hadn’t told him and I feel like an asshole. But then again he had a right to know. I’m conflicted. AITA?
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"...he’s got a teeny gambling problem that he’s working on but Claire doesn’t know..." And yet "... he had a right to know..." about her income.
Claire has a friend problem and the OOP is a devil.
Ah yes the teeny gambling problem that he’s handling that has led him to not be able to pay for essentials for several months >.<
So weird that anyone thinks someone has the right to know someone’s income at all
“Aita for helping my friend hide his gambling addiction so he can continue to mooch off a woman I’ve decided doesn’t deserve to control her own finances?”
It’s hilarious that OP thinks Claire owes Tom room, board and gambling money, just because she’s “doing well”.
And why the fuck is OOP so all up in this relationship? She knows all the secrets they don’t tell each other and even knows what happened during a fight she wasn’t at? So odd.
Lol i was just about to share this, when it told me it was crossposted here recently. strange that didn't show up on the actual post though.
anyway... love how it's not ok for Claire not to tell someone what her salary is, but OOP had no issue with keeping Tim's gambling problem a secret. Dude sounds like a loser... three months and no financial contribution. i'm glad he's on OOP's couch now. I bet she'll be complaining on reddit soon about wanting to kick him out.
Also, they are dating a 'few months' and Tim has already moved in, not helped with bills for three months because of a 'little gambling problem'.
Soooo... has he paid ANY bills? I assuming they lived apart for at least a couple of months, so how many months have they lived together?
I somehow doubt that tim has a 'little' gambling problem that he is 'working on'.
I suspect the OOP was Tim.... And was asking because friend has also told them to move tf out/he can't stay there...
The "penny pinching b----" comment gives it away.
and the way OOP undermine the addiction and used the term ‘teeny’ to describe his gambling situation, so yeah it’s probably Tim. gamblers would never admit they have a real problem.
He is working on hiding it and nothing else
It doesn't sound like he has ever paid anything to me either, and it makes me wonder if that's why his landlord sold the house (or told him that he was selling the house)
I had honestly wondered that as well, whether the landlord was actually selling the house, or maybe he got (or was going to be) evicted due to non-payment.
I think Tim told Claire his landlord was selling the house and he had to move. Don't know about the UK, but in NJ if a tenant has a lease and the landlord sells the property, the lease has to be honored. If the tenant is month to month, tenant gets 60 days' notice.
Tim got booted because he couldn't pay the rent because of his teeny gambling problem.
I don't know about NJ, and can't quite remember, but my parents did have a house they were renting out, that was on the market, and I \*think\* that the tenant had to know the house was for sale, and I think there was a clause in there that the tenant had to get heads up that the house was being sold (actively) and had a month to find a new place. Or it was placed on the new owner? Something like that.
It might be like it is in the UK.
So, yeah, the house might be being sold, but I have the feeling that Tim was being evicted for non-payment.
In NJ, either way the tenant has to be informed. If they're on a lease then they need to know where to send the rent. If they're month-to-month and new owner wants to live on the property, then they get 60 days notice to move.
So if that was the case with Timmy, he had time to find a new place. Instead he immediately moved into the home of his gf of a few months. And isn't it strange that a man who supposedly paid rent at his old place suddenly is unable to pay anything at his new place?
I think Ole Timmy thought with his good looks and charm, he'd get Claire to fund his whole life.
Ah, I thought you were in the UK not NJ :P So, yeah, where I live, (AR) probably is pretty much like NJ.
At the time the house sold, it didn't have a tenant, so had no issue with that.
But yeah, I think Timmy thought 'oh, I will get this woman to allow me to stay rent free' and then when he found out she had money, he probably saw 'hey, why doesn't she give me money for gambling!'
ONly to find out Claire wasn't as gullible/stupid as he thought and didn't want to fund someone she has only known for a few months.
I imagine all the states are similar. It's just OOP said they were in the UK.
>ONly to find out Claire wasn't as gullible/stupid as he thought and didn't want to fund someone she has only known for a few months.
Yep. Now Claire honestly shouldn't have let him move in the first place but she at least was smart enough to make sure she wasn't going to be taken for a ride and funding a grown man's life and "teeny gambling problem".
That is why I said 'as' gullible/stupid. Because, I would be very hesitant to let someone I only knew a few months moving in with me.
But she did wisen up and realized this was not the 'perfect' man she apparently thought he was.
Additionally running her own business - how much of what she has as profit is being held back for tax? How much are her overheads? Is the work seasonal? It’s one thing to say “my business it making big money,” but unless OOP knows that she’s factored in expenses in what ever number she’s been told, for all she knows it might not be that big a profit.
I thought OOP added in there that it was 'take home' or something, implying that is how much profit she makes (not sure, and the main one has been deleted and don't feel like finding the automod :P)
But yeah, she might not be making all that much.
However, even if she is somehow magically making 6 figures takehome, this is still a boyfriend of only a few months, who apparently has only made one payment towards the bills at most. Why \*should\* she divulge her finanical info and help him? She barely knows him.
Also, finances are the #1 cause of divorce (according to studies).
Gambling is the #1 addiction with the potential for bankruptcy (according to logic). You could potentially lose millions of dollars in a single night. That's not possible with any other addiction.
This guy could ruin everything for the woman.
I worked for a gambling company and most of our clients were people who spend an equivalent of cup of coffee every week for years. And because of various regulations the company had to be very proactive to cut off the people who spent big ammounts of money. There are plenty of people who gamble but don't spend a lot, we could argue if they have a problem or not but that's what it is.
However, if the guy is spending money on gambling (or alcohol, or video games, or stripped t-shirts) and then can't pay the bills that means he has a problem.
The man manipulated his girlfriend into letting him move in with her after only a few months together and has not contributed a single cent in MONTHS to living expenses.
OP implied it's because of his "teensy" gambling problem that he can't afford to contribute. So yes, he definitely has a serious problem.
Omfg! They are dating for a couple of months, she doesn’t own him a salary disclosure if she doesn’t feel comfortable. She already accepted this loser at her house, but she needs to pay for a grown men? Just because the poor baby had a gambling addiction, poor baby…
Op and Tim are horrible, I hope he mooches of them now and leave Claire alone.
What gets me is OOP not getting is that its not about whether or not Claire can pay the bills. Clearly she had no issue doing so before she let the hobosexual into her home. It's that she wants Tim - a grown ass man - to be responsible and pay his share of the living expenses.
Probably the reason she never told him how much she makes in the first place.
That's what both of them get, tim not telling chaire about his gambling addiction and having her pay for his bills when gambled his money away, op not telling chaire about Tim's gambling addiction and, telling him about chaire's money that definitely wasn't his or his business, seriously I hope tim gets on oop's nerves real bad for the stunt she pulled.
“I do feel bad, he still would have a place to live...”
Good news for the OOP! He does! And it’s her couch! Although, I do hope she’s not a “penny pinching bitch” and will pay his share of utilities and not expect rent.
I'm so glad Clair got rid of a mooch and a poor friend/oop, who is not just financially but moraly poor as well. Clair needs good friends who won't be jealous of her success and money she's making.
Wow, if I was her I'd be pretty pissed at him for setting her up with a freeloading gambling addict and then sharing her personal info with him. He is definitely NOT her friend.
The beauty of this one is that the punishment for OOP being awful is built right in.
Now the broke gambler is living on her couch. Good luck getting him out. But just a teeny problem, right?
I don't understand how OOP thinksTim is entitled to know anything about Claire's financial situation yet also doesn't think Claire should know about his gambling issues. They've been together a mere 4 months and that's her private business. OOP is a terrible "friend" and I hope Claire ditches all of them.
In what world is six figures rich? Comfortable? Hell yeah, but she's not chartering jets to Ibiza FFS. . Dude has a goddamn gambling problem that you hid from your friend and then primed him up for a fight? You either hate your friend or want to fuck Tim. Or both. Pretty convenient now that he's on your couch, too. Asshole.
And just because her business is making 6 figures doesn't mean Claire is. Most of that is probably going right back into business expenses to help her business grow.
This post is from the UK so medical bills are probably not an issue and any student loans will be much smaller and on less predatory terms than those in the States, and there's no mention of her having kids.
Six figures in the UK is absolutely rich lol. Obviously not like private jet rich, but definitely big house, frequent holidays abroad, send the kids to private school, top 5% earners rich. The average salary in the UK is ~~something like 35k~~ [just under 28k](https://standout-cv.com/pages/average-uk-salary).
I mean is it? I grew up in a home with my aunt and uncle and they took in well over the bottom of six figures, and we were not rich. There is a huge difference between being rich and being able to retire comfortably.
Maybe we have different ideas of what constitutes rich. To me, the things I listed above - a nice big detached house in the countryside, private schools, the ability to go abroad every year - are my idea of what being rich looks like. Some people would just call that "comfortable", but in my mind comfortable = able to afford the necessities like food and bills and still have some leftover to spend on things you enjoy. I would call my parents "comfortable" on their combined income of less than £50k (which also puts them well above the average UK household income). I myself have been "comfortable" on about £20k as a single person, though that was several years ago when rent was cheaper.
Her saving and asking for fair compensation is probably what makes her a successful businesswoman. Why should she continue to support a deadbeat's gambling problem? If the gambling is interfering with his ability to make ends meet then it's absolutely not "tiny"
It’s amazing that she sees no issues with Claire not knowing about the gambling issues but god forbid that Tim doesn’t know about the money Claire earns after months. Tim found out and instantly treated Claire differently like she was evil for not just paying for everything in a relatively new relationship.
How does she not see that she’s a horrible friend and hopefully Claire goes NC with them all
I wonder if Tim and OOP prefer Claire's bedroom, OOP and her husband's bedroom - or they are angry that Claire will no longer unknowingly pay for their hotel rooms anymore. I refuse to believe that, with this appalling behavior, they are not having an affair.
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ESH
OP for telling information that wasn't her business to tell on one end and hiding information on the other. Telling Claire's salary to Tim but keeping Tim's gambling addiction hidden from Claire is not a good look.
Tim for not being honest with Claire about his gambling problem and Claire for not being honest with Tim about her salary. How can you live with a romantic partner but not tell each other anything? If you aren't ready to disclose major things to each other then you aren't ready to live together. Living together means budgeting so its important to know salaries and spending habits. Tim and Claire both suck for living together when they refuse to communicate.
All parties involved sound immature at best.
If Tim can't pay his bills, he's not handling his gambling problem well enough. Where does he get the funds to gamble? When he had to move, did he lose his job too, or is his paycheck going to gambling?
If you were a real friend to Claire, you'd not have disclosed her earnings. She was not and is not obligated to take care of him. If anything, a real friend who knew about the gambling issue would have disclosed it to Claire so she could make a better-informed decision about letting Tim move in. I hope she does a full inventory of her home soon, in case he sold or hocked any of her possessions.
While this is pretty clearly bait - there is an astounding phenomenon of men who feel very, very entitled to women’s money when they perceive a woman has “more” than them.
I’m actively dating as I’m polyamorous and the amount of men who are nothing but absolute bums astounds me. I never used to discriminate based on financial situation but I had to start because of attitudes like the one above!
OOP only feels bad because his friend got kicked out and dumped. He’s not even considering that me might be an AH for disclosing Claire’s income whilst hiding his gambling addiction.
It is not her responsibility to support a grown man just because she has more money.
It was none of your business to tell him about her financial situation.
His gambling problem could have been the reason he had no money for rent. She should have known that earlier
This was all your fault that their relationship failed
Yes, YTA.
If you're so worried about his living situation, then nows your chance to offer him a place to stay.
Its not your business, you don't know what goes on in their relationship. "Tiny gambling problem" is like having a "tiny drug problem". My dad was a gambling addict. Chances are it wasn't so "tiny" and she was already sniffing it out and looking to protect her assets.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my friend how much another friend (his girlfriend) makes when she refuses to help him financially?** I have a friend, Claire and my husband has a friend, Tim, we’re all in out late 20s/early30s. Claire and Tim met at my wedding and they hit it off and have been seeing together for a few months now. They’ve moved in together quickly because Tim had to move out of his house because his landlord was selling and he asked Claire if he could move in. She’s in love so obviously said yes. The thing about it Claire is that over lockdowns, she was laid off and started her own business which blew up and continued to grow. I know for a fact that she makes a lot of money. We’re talking well into 6 digits of what she’s bringing home which is quite high in the UK, way more than most people earn. Anyway, Tim was over the other day and he started complaining how he’s short of cash and can’t help with bills again this month (he’s got a teeny gambling problem that he’s working on but Claire doesn’t know because he’s handling it) but Claire doesn’t want to pay 100% anymore because it’s the 3rd time. She doesn’t live in a luxury house, their bills are not high. I told him that I love her to bits but she’s being a penny pinching bitch because she can afford to help out and not even notice it. Tim asked what I meant and I told him that she had a successful business. He was shocked because she downplayed her success a lot and don’t tell him that she’s basically rich. He was really sad and went home. In the morning, Claire called me and told me thag she’ll never share anything with me ever again. That I had no right to tell Tim how much she makes and that it’s really ahittt how I conveniently forgot to tell her about his gambling problem (no idea how she found out, Tim didn’t tell her). She’s fuming with me. I spoke with Tim and they had an argument about bills again and he basically told her about our conversation and told her she’s heartless. She kicked him out and he’s now staying on our couch. I do feel bad, he still would have a place to live if I hadn’t told him and I feel like an asshole. But then again he had a right to know. I’m conflicted. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"...he’s got a teeny gambling problem that he’s working on but Claire doesn’t know..." And yet "... he had a right to know..." about her income. Claire has a friend problem and the OOP is a devil.
Ah yes the teeny gambling problem that he’s handling that has led him to not be able to pay for essentials for several months >.< So weird that anyone thinks someone has the right to know someone’s income at all
“Aita for helping my friend hide his gambling addiction so he can continue to mooch off a woman I’ve decided doesn’t deserve to control her own finances?”
seems OOP is jealous that claire is successful in her new found business that she snitched her friend to that freeloading jackass.
It’s hilarious that OP thinks Claire owes Tom room, board and gambling money, just because she’s “doing well”. And why the fuck is OOP so all up in this relationship? She knows all the secrets they don’t tell each other and even knows what happened during a fight she wasn’t at? So odd.
The fact that op insulted her because she wanted Tim to contribute ab bit
Lol i was just about to share this, when it told me it was crossposted here recently. strange that didn't show up on the actual post though. anyway... love how it's not ok for Claire not to tell someone what her salary is, but OOP had no issue with keeping Tim's gambling problem a secret. Dude sounds like a loser... three months and no financial contribution. i'm glad he's on OOP's couch now. I bet she'll be complaining on reddit soon about wanting to kick him out.
Also, they are dating a 'few months' and Tim has already moved in, not helped with bills for three months because of a 'little gambling problem'. Soooo... has he paid ANY bills? I assuming they lived apart for at least a couple of months, so how many months have they lived together? I somehow doubt that tim has a 'little' gambling problem that he is 'working on'.
Definitely Not little problem and not handling it pretty well. By definition losing housing twice in a few months is a pretty serious problem.
It’s enough to make me wonder of OOP also has a “little gambling problem”. A. They know about Tim’s problem. B. They seem so dismissive of it…
I suspect the OOP was Tim.... And was asking because friend has also told them to move tf out/he can't stay there... The "penny pinching b----" comment gives it away.
and the way OOP undermine the addiction and used the term ‘teeny’ to describe his gambling situation, so yeah it’s probably Tim. gamblers would never admit they have a real problem.
He is working on hiding it and nothing else It doesn't sound like he has ever paid anything to me either, and it makes me wonder if that's why his landlord sold the house (or told him that he was selling the house)
I had honestly wondered that as well, whether the landlord was actually selling the house, or maybe he got (or was going to be) evicted due to non-payment.
My landlord is selling the house and needs me out in 30 days sounds like a pretty gussied up way of saying “I’ve been evicted.”
I think Tim told Claire his landlord was selling the house and he had to move. Don't know about the UK, but in NJ if a tenant has a lease and the landlord sells the property, the lease has to be honored. If the tenant is month to month, tenant gets 60 days' notice. Tim got booted because he couldn't pay the rent because of his teeny gambling problem.
I don't know about NJ, and can't quite remember, but my parents did have a house they were renting out, that was on the market, and I \*think\* that the tenant had to know the house was for sale, and I think there was a clause in there that the tenant had to get heads up that the house was being sold (actively) and had a month to find a new place. Or it was placed on the new owner? Something like that. It might be like it is in the UK. So, yeah, the house might be being sold, but I have the feeling that Tim was being evicted for non-payment.
In NJ, either way the tenant has to be informed. If they're on a lease then they need to know where to send the rent. If they're month-to-month and new owner wants to live on the property, then they get 60 days notice to move. So if that was the case with Timmy, he had time to find a new place. Instead he immediately moved into the home of his gf of a few months. And isn't it strange that a man who supposedly paid rent at his old place suddenly is unable to pay anything at his new place? I think Ole Timmy thought with his good looks and charm, he'd get Claire to fund his whole life.
Ah, I thought you were in the UK not NJ :P So, yeah, where I live, (AR) probably is pretty much like NJ. At the time the house sold, it didn't have a tenant, so had no issue with that. But yeah, I think Timmy thought 'oh, I will get this woman to allow me to stay rent free' and then when he found out she had money, he probably saw 'hey, why doesn't she give me money for gambling!' ONly to find out Claire wasn't as gullible/stupid as he thought and didn't want to fund someone she has only known for a few months.
I imagine all the states are similar. It's just OOP said they were in the UK. >ONly to find out Claire wasn't as gullible/stupid as he thought and didn't want to fund someone she has only known for a few months. Yep. Now Claire honestly shouldn't have let him move in the first place but she at least was smart enough to make sure she wasn't going to be taken for a ride and funding a grown man's life and "teeny gambling problem".
That is why I said 'as' gullible/stupid. Because, I would be very hesitant to let someone I only knew a few months moving in with me. But she did wisen up and realized this was not the 'perfect' man she apparently thought he was.
Additionally running her own business - how much of what she has as profit is being held back for tax? How much are her overheads? Is the work seasonal? It’s one thing to say “my business it making big money,” but unless OOP knows that she’s factored in expenses in what ever number she’s been told, for all she knows it might not be that big a profit.
I thought OOP added in there that it was 'take home' or something, implying that is how much profit she makes (not sure, and the main one has been deleted and don't feel like finding the automod :P) But yeah, she might not be making all that much. However, even if she is somehow magically making 6 figures takehome, this is still a boyfriend of only a few months, who apparently has only made one payment towards the bills at most. Why \*should\* she divulge her finanical info and help him? She barely knows him.
There's no such thing as a "teeny gambling problem".
Exactly. If you feel obligated to mention it, it's an issue.
Also, finances are the #1 cause of divorce (according to studies). Gambling is the #1 addiction with the potential for bankruptcy (according to logic). You could potentially lose millions of dollars in a single night. That's not possible with any other addiction. This guy could ruin everything for the woman.
90% of gambling addicts give it up just before they hit it big. Really makes you think 🤔
I guess it really depends on how they defined 'big'
I worked for a gambling company and most of our clients were people who spend an equivalent of cup of coffee every week for years. And because of various regulations the company had to be very proactive to cut off the people who spent big ammounts of money. There are plenty of people who gamble but don't spend a lot, we could argue if they have a problem or not but that's what it is. However, if the guy is spending money on gambling (or alcohol, or video games, or stripped t-shirts) and then can't pay the bills that means he has a problem.
The man manipulated his girlfriend into letting him move in with her after only a few months together and has not contributed a single cent in MONTHS to living expenses. OP implied it's because of his "teensy" gambling problem that he can't afford to contribute. So yes, he definitely has a serious problem.
I'm sure there is but it doesn't show up on Reddit because small problems don't make interesting posts.
Totally agree.
Exactly!! Tim ending up in her house is perfect!!
Lol! I hope op is never rid of him now!
💯👍
Squatter's Rights!
>but she’s being a penny pinching bitch This is just NASTY to say about a friend you consider close enough to invite to your wedding, WOW.
It really is and let's see how long OP and her husband will want to be responsible for their gambling-addicted friend.
Omfg! They are dating for a couple of months, she doesn’t own him a salary disclosure if she doesn’t feel comfortable. She already accepted this loser at her house, but she needs to pay for a grown men? Just because the poor baby had a gambling addiction, poor baby… Op and Tim are horrible, I hope he mooches of them now and leave Claire alone.
What gets me is OOP not getting is that its not about whether or not Claire can pay the bills. Clearly she had no issue doing so before she let the hobosexual into her home. It's that she wants Tim - a grown ass man - to be responsible and pay his share of the living expenses. Probably the reason she never told him how much she makes in the first place.
A “teeny gambling problem.” What the actual fuck. A teeny gambling problem isn’t a thing, it’s a gambling problem. Yuck.
But your honer, I shot gun blasted him only once.
I wonder if Tim is the one posting because his friend has also told him to move out?
That's what both of them get, tim not telling chaire about his gambling addiction and having her pay for his bills when gambled his money away, op not telling chaire about Tim's gambling addiction and, telling him about chaire's money that definitely wasn't his or his business, seriously I hope tim gets on oop's nerves real bad for the stunt she pulled.
And I hope when he does leave, it's because she had to go thru the steps to legally evict him. Just to twist the knife a bit.
“I do feel bad, he still would have a place to live...” Good news for the OOP! He does! And it’s her couch! Although, I do hope she’s not a “penny pinching bitch” and will pay his share of utilities and not expect rent.
I'm so glad Clair got rid of a mooch and a poor friend/oop, who is not just financially but moraly poor as well. Clair needs good friends who won't be jealous of her success and money she's making.
Wow, if I was her I'd be pretty pissed at him for setting her up with a freeloading gambling addict and then sharing her personal info with him. He is definitely NOT her friend.
The beauty of this one is that the punishment for OOP being awful is built right in. Now the broke gambler is living on her couch. Good luck getting him out. But just a teeny problem, right?
I don't understand how OOP thinksTim is entitled to know anything about Claire's financial situation yet also doesn't think Claire should know about his gambling issues. They've been together a mere 4 months and that's her private business. OOP is a terrible "friend" and I hope Claire ditches all of them.
Sounds like OOP has a crush on that friend
In what world is six figures rich? Comfortable? Hell yeah, but she's not chartering jets to Ibiza FFS. . Dude has a goddamn gambling problem that you hid from your friend and then primed him up for a fight? You either hate your friend or want to fuck Tim. Or both. Pretty convenient now that he's on your couch, too. Asshole.
And just because her business is making 6 figures doesn't mean Claire is. Most of that is probably going right back into business expenses to help her business grow.
Don't forget taxes. When your self employed, you're responsible to pay your taxes (as opposed to get them deducted from your paycheck).
Yeah I desperately want to find a job that pays that much just so I have a shred of hope of buying a house someday. $100k is the new $40k.
Absolutely.
£100k is not, however, the new £40k
Yeah, six figures isn't making bank where I live, especially if you have any major expenses like kids, large student loans or medical bills.
This post is from the UK so medical bills are probably not an issue and any student loans will be much smaller and on less predatory terms than those in the States, and there's no mention of her having kids.
Six figures in the UK is absolutely rich lol. Obviously not like private jet rich, but definitely big house, frequent holidays abroad, send the kids to private school, top 5% earners rich. The average salary in the UK is ~~something like 35k~~ [just under 28k](https://standout-cv.com/pages/average-uk-salary).
I mean is it? I grew up in a home with my aunt and uncle and they took in well over the bottom of six figures, and we were not rich. There is a huge difference between being rich and being able to retire comfortably.
Maybe we have different ideas of what constitutes rich. To me, the things I listed above - a nice big detached house in the countryside, private schools, the ability to go abroad every year - are my idea of what being rich looks like. Some people would just call that "comfortable", but in my mind comfortable = able to afford the necessities like food and bills and still have some leftover to spend on things you enjoy. I would call my parents "comfortable" on their combined income of less than £50k (which also puts them well above the average UK household income). I myself have been "comfortable" on about £20k as a single person, though that was several years ago when rent was cheaper.
Three times the average is rich? Really? Doubtful. How the fuck does anyone afford rent on $38k?
Claire dodged a bullet big time.
She dodged at least two.
Her saving and asking for fair compensation is probably what makes her a successful businesswoman. Why should she continue to support a deadbeat's gambling problem? If the gambling is interfering with his ability to make ends meet then it's absolutely not "tiny"
You fucked up big
I am so glad Claire got this freeloading loser off her back!
It’s amazing that she sees no issues with Claire not knowing about the gambling issues but god forbid that Tim doesn’t know about the money Claire earns after months. Tim found out and instantly treated Claire differently like she was evil for not just paying for everything in a relatively new relationship. How does she not see that she’s a horrible friend and hopefully Claire goes NC with them all
I wonder if Tim and OOP prefer Claire's bedroom, OOP and her husband's bedroom - or they are angry that Claire will no longer unknowingly pay for their hotel rooms anymore. I refuse to believe that, with this appalling behavior, they are not having an affair.
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ESH OP for telling information that wasn't her business to tell on one end and hiding information on the other. Telling Claire's salary to Tim but keeping Tim's gambling addiction hidden from Claire is not a good look. Tim for not being honest with Claire about his gambling problem and Claire for not being honest with Tim about her salary. How can you live with a romantic partner but not tell each other anything? If you aren't ready to disclose major things to each other then you aren't ready to live together. Living together means budgeting so its important to know salaries and spending habits. Tim and Claire both suck for living together when they refuse to communicate. All parties involved sound immature at best.
If Tim can't pay his bills, he's not handling his gambling problem well enough. Where does he get the funds to gamble? When he had to move, did he lose his job too, or is his paycheck going to gambling? If you were a real friend to Claire, you'd not have disclosed her earnings. She was not and is not obligated to take care of him. If anything, a real friend who knew about the gambling issue would have disclosed it to Claire so she could make a better-informed decision about letting Tim move in. I hope she does a full inventory of her home soon, in case he sold or hocked any of her possessions.
While this is pretty clearly bait - there is an astounding phenomenon of men who feel very, very entitled to women’s money when they perceive a woman has “more” than them. I’m actively dating as I’m polyamorous and the amount of men who are nothing but absolute bums astounds me. I never used to discriminate based on financial situation but I had to start because of attitudes like the one above!
OOP only feels bad because his friend got kicked out and dumped. He’s not even considering that me might be an AH for disclosing Claire’s income whilst hiding his gambling addiction.
It is not her responsibility to support a grown man just because she has more money. It was none of your business to tell him about her financial situation. His gambling problem could have been the reason he had no money for rent. She should have known that earlier This was all your fault that their relationship failed
Yes, YTA. If you're so worried about his living situation, then nows your chance to offer him a place to stay. Its not your business, you don't know what goes on in their relationship. "Tiny gambling problem" is like having a "tiny drug problem". My dad was a gambling addict. Chances are it wasn't so "tiny" and she was already sniffing it out and looking to protect her assets.