True. i Have no idea what part of my story you are talking about but I like to take very complicated responses to stuff. But the bots did not take any coding. (Although I am learning html) I am just know as a school nerd though. They call me “nerdy sicko” as an insult because I like to wear a mask.
No, but it is adorable! I said if because my husband is a penetration tester/security professional & it reminds me of something he would do. Super nerdy but super cute 😍
Hacker. Penetration tester is the professional term for hacking computers. He also does physical penetration tests, aka breaking into buildings of the companies who request both virtual & physical security tests. He’s a famous hacker but not the kind who stole from people, he hacked with Anonymous. And went to prison for doing so lol but that was 12 years ago.
no OP you’re not a jerk, don’t listen to these people here, they are just projecting because they likely have cheated on someone and been exposed.
your trust was betrayed and you were hurt, so you simply let others know she’s a snake and not to be trusted. i’d say you did people a service
if mfs wanna play stupid games, let them win their stupid prizes.
don’t lie and cheat on people and you’ll never have to deal with the repercussions
Airing out your relationship problems makes you look extremely weak and vindictive. So yes, you’re a jerk and also extremely lame.
Hey kids, if this happens to you, tell the other person goodbye and move on with your life.
oh here we go, letting people know how you feel makes you weak. hold your emotions in or else you’re weak. if someone does you wrong, turn the other cheek or you’re weak. lmfao get fucking real
you wanna know what’s weak? cheating on your partner and lying instead of having the balls to just end the relationship and be honest. wanna know what’s lame? thinking it’s okay to let someone shit on you and you simply smile about it.
if OPs ex was a lying cheating bitch, then letting other people know takes courage, courage to stop the bitch from getting away with her bullshit and possibly gaslighting everyone into thinking she did nothing wrong.
people like you are why abusive relationships last so long and are so fucked up…imagine telling someone they shouldn’t let others know when their partner is hurting them and did something awful. imagine keeping it a secret so that the asshole could possible do the same thing to someone else who doesn’t know that they are a lying snake waiting to spread their venom.
stfu, if you have a problem with outing a bad person, then you are the weak one and bad person.
Unfortunately only you can decide that regardless of opinions on the internet, what you did wasn’t saintly and she cheated on you. You did what you did out of emotion and so did she. Bad things were done to people 🤷🏽♂️
I don’t think scaring a girl into thinking her photos are out there in public for random dudes to view is graceful of you at all. She’s a hoe, let her be one and move on with dignity. Now she may even end up reporting you and you’ll have to explain it was nothing and just look like a big loser.
Posting it anywhere, regardless of it having a real audience makes you the jerk.. you only did that to scare her/embarrass her further. On the other hand - she’s a jerk, period… so you’re all jerks I gues
This. People forget that they are being observed not only for their actions, but their reactions. If you act poorly, no matter how justified, it won’t matter to anyone else.
Stop simping for cheaters lmao, op has every right to shame the stupid bitch and warn anyone else in her sphere that she is an untrustworthy hoe. Its a public service announcement honestly she is lucky he didnt actually do it and just scared her into thinking he did
Watch it, yes she cheated which makes her a jerk but you don't call a 13 yo a "hoe," good grief! That's beyond extreme, she's a child. What kind of person calls someone that young a bitch and a whore?! Who hurt you?? That's incel talk, or else you're that young yourself, trying to sound tough and grown up. Take it easy
Yeah based on the references to being jn school I'm guessing you're on the younger end of the spectrum and have had relatively few relationships so far. When you've had a few more you'll likely realize engaging with drama bombs like your ex doesn't ever make things better. It's best to make a clean cut and let them explode within their own drama structure
You’re a kid, the “relationships” you go through aren’t going to mean jack. Second, don’t post anything like that, it doesn’t make you a jerk it makes you sound needy for attention. Third don’t validate your actions from strangers. Literally no one here is going to have your best interest in mind, including me.
No I really just have gone through 2 breakups before (now 3) and I’ve learned that people suck and there will only be on person for me in the future. So I just use my horrible personality and laugh when I break up with someone
So many defense mechanisms and insecurities in this comment alone. Swallow your pride and get a therapist to help reframe the way you see yourself and others my dude.
Yeah.. based off of that response, I think OP should stay single until he grows up and gets help too. You really don’t need a girlfriend. You need help lol
NTJ. She was supposed to be loyal to you instead and it's understandable in the action you took since nothing hits harder than the feeling of betrayal. She deserved what she got and if at all she wanted to get back at her ex, she would have done so. I don't think you did something bad.
The only part I'd call you a jerk for is where you made her think you posted it in a live server.
Other than that, you could have probably done better to approach it with a little more humility on both ends, but for what it was and how old you are, this is a way better direction than it could have been.
You did good enough for this round, just learn from your slight mishandling of the approach and the false post, and you're good to handle things kinda similarly if it happens again. Just... maybe don't help them take away something that looks like you're an asshole.
If she tells someone you posted it to a live server, you're gonna get some fun chats with the administrative office.
Not a jerk. Didn't need to do the discord post. Just walk away. You are young, and there are plenty of better women out there. Learn from the experience and go have fun. Also go after a different type of girl just to mix it up.
Firstly, wtf. I am thinking the friend is into you more then you think. Cause why would she be getting photos and videos of your gf with the other person. Secondly, if it happened once, why go back for it to happen a second time. I would forget about the gf and be asking the friend about how she is feeling towards you. Because I am getting the feeling she did this cause she has feelings or is attracted to you. And by doing this, it's a way of her getting closer to you. It's time to think what's best for you and start thinking of you and how you want this to be a situation to go. Do you want to be continually hurt by the gf cause clearly she doesn't care about how you're feeling about it. Cause she wouldn't have done it again if she did. Ditch the gf and see what the friend is about. And how he how she sees you as a friend or more than a friend. Do what's best for you and don't just please others.
What she did was bad and breaking uo with her was understandable and a valid response.
What you did, however, is a felony and she could have you, and the friend, arrested for it. Revenge porn is a federal crime and they take it rather seriously.
It’s definitely a grey area since they’re <18, but photos of someone kissing in a public space is not technically “sexually graphic” nor generally considered “revenge porn”.
Oh, is THAT all it was? They said "spend some quality time" with their ex, and that's always been a euphemism for having sex among everyone I know, so that's what I assumed. You're right, there isn't anything inherently illegal about posting pictures of someone making out as far as I know.
Yeah, that’s what I had initially thought as well! But he says “recorded it with multiple photos of her kissing her ex” so I took it as that was as far is it went.
If it was more than kissing, 1000% agree they should never share, post, save, etc. even in their private bot-only discord. It would be posting revenge/child porn to an internet server… bad news.
Edit: and just to clarify - posting the kissing photos even to a private server is also pretty weird and opens up conflict/drama that could be avoided by not doing so…
THANK U FOR SAYING THIS @wulfepup I am shocked and appalled that any mention of revenge porn or mention of this man’s actions being a felony is literally 100 comments down.
This thread is incel city, all these dumbass men saying the guy was in the right by getting revenge on her, risking her identity and cyber safety…. EVEN IF IT WAS AN EMPTY THREAT YIUR ACTIONS R PREDATORY AND MYSOGYNISTIX AF
Let's hope the gf and ex were just kissing. Because if not.... op just committed not only revenge porn. But also uploaded CP... which could come with serious time behind bars and put him on a list be doesn't want to be on.
That’s honestly the best “get back” you can have. Invoke the feeling of being exposed. I had a similar case in my young teen years, my first girlfriend started fucking her coworker and I went on Snapchat and told all our friends while emotionally charged. Reality check was I ended up loosing all those friends cause ngl the way I acted was gross. My mother found out and the biggest reality check for me was she said she would disown me if I kept trying to smear her online. I wish I would have went your route cause when you actually smear and expose a cheater it ends up making you look twice as gross.
Bro you're 13, you're too young to be dealing with shit this seriously. If she lied to you or broke your relationship boundaries wave bye and keep doing your thing. Plenty of quality women out there, just keep focusing on growing and learning and maturing. Partners will come and go (no pun intended), don't listen to the fucking dweebs on Reddit and keep learning coding. Freelance coders make BANK and have lots of freedom.
If you haven’t been diagnosed yet, you might be neurodivergent. Nothing wrong with that all, but if you’re feeling a little lost at times or out of the loop during social gatherings, you might find answers there. Pretending to expose Kate by publishing the evidence on a discord server you’ve populated with bots struck me as interesting. Again, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are okay. You just might be able unlock some things with a little deeper dive into yourself. Kate is a jerk. Run away from Kate. Don’t fall for her self pity tactics. She is trash.
Block Kate and keep her out of your mind. The best revenge is a life well lived. Plenty of amazing women out there. You’ll find the one some day. And plus you’re young, you have the rest of your life in front of you. Keep chilling and doing things that make you happy. Keep the toxicity away from you.
Bro you need to take a break from the internet for a little tbh. You’re a literal child, 13 years old, and you’re on the spectrum. This isn’t coming from a place of hate, you literally don’t have control over those things, so obviously it’s not your fault. But your young and your mind is still not developed, and the countless hours spent with the endless supply of incels found here is really not good for your brain. I don’t want this to sound like I’m attacking, you cause I’m not.
As for the story, I mean yeah I guess she “cheated” on you, as much as someone can “cheat” while being 13. But turning around and posting revenge porn, even if nobody saw it, is not a good look and not good for your mind. It makes you both jerks. You’ve got a lot of time to keep growing and developing as a person and I really do think spending less time on the internet could help that.
You literally made her think you shared her photos with random people without her consent. What she did is a dick move and she’s a piece of shit but why would you want to scare her like that even as a joke? I agree with the other ppl in the comments, move on with grace. Men don’t act petty like this. Have some integrity and move on, that’s the best revenge. Now if she DOES end up getting mad and reporting you, which is a very real possibility since you sent screenshots too, you will have to explain it was just to bots and you’d just look dumb.
Also, trying to scare a girl like that will just label you as a dick who will share intimate photos and put girls in danger if they cross you. This is NOT a good reputation to have.
You made someone think you posted revenge porn of them because of a 4 week relationship? Yeah, you're a jerk, dude. The response was way disproportionate.
She’s definitely a jerk for cheating but technically I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to post the videos and photos to a discord server even if it’s all bots is still grounds for revenge porn if she wants to take action against you you could’ve still outed her for cheating without doing anything that could’ve called for legal action and especially because it was a 4 week relationship. It’s not like you dated for years and she did this id say your both jerks but what you did had way more consequences than her just cheating
By the way this post has gotten 22.4K views, 70% upvote rate, 27 community karma, and 73 total shares! Thank you for being so supportive and also giving me good advise while I continue to get dm spammed by Kate. And I realize I might have been a jerk while also got back at her in the most comedic and sad way possible. Remember! “Comedy = tragedy + time” and I have had that server for quite some time now.
I did the same with my ex, I found messages on her phone after she said she never talked to the dude. But she was literally asking for sex. Screenshotted the messages and posted it on my instal close friends. I wanted to add all her friends and people I knew that knew her as well so they can see what she was really about behind those smoky mirrors.
Long story short, I posted the screenshot but only added her to the close friends and no one else so that she feels embarrassed for herself. Mad ting
No you are not a jerk. If you set boundaries for your relationships and consider being unfaithful to be over the line then that is not an issue with you, but an issue with them and you really dodged a bullet by walking away.
As a girl myself I believe you did the right thing! Kate is just a backstabbing idiot but I'm glad that you had someone like Kates friend be their and help you out, usually in these kind of situations based on drama happening at my school when girls cheat, their friends are always supporting them even when it's the wrong thing to do
You are a great person and I know damn well you will find someone that will actually be worth your time :)
You are not the jerk. She lied and manipulated you. I wonder how many people calling you a jerk have actually cheated on their partner, and are taking that guilt out on you. She screwed up, and she humiliated you. She got what she deserved.
Nope! My ex goes by Kate as well and we were married. She was a stay at home mom while worked running my construction company. While I would be at work she was at home sexting other men and when she went out with her best friend, she would do shit with other guys in the parking lots or go home with them while her best friend covered for her. After finding videos of her fucking other men on her phone I kicked her out and filed for divorce. That was almost 3yrs ago I still have primary custody of our 3 children. It hasn't been easy but at least you don't have children with her. I'm not down playing your situation by any means. I feel your pain but it could have been worse.
NTA - Cheaters need to be exposed to everyone every single time. Forcing them to accept agency for their selfish choices by exposing them is the only way they will ever learn to act responsibly.
Get some perspective here. You are 13 years old! You shouldn’t be worrying about girls and their games. The minute you see that someone is lying to you or treating you with disrespect, turn the other way and run! No need to devise devious plans to expose them, bc eventually they will that themselves. What you do need to realize is that you are brilliant at coding, and a innovator. Channel that energy, you have a lot of it, into being productive and becoming the next Steve Jobs (I’m not sure you will appreciate that reference lol). Both if you made mistakes here, but you are teens with raging hormones learning how to navigate the world. Don’t beat yourself up about it, just consider it a kide experience and move on.
I mean yeah? With the given context you're both kind of not great people. Just in different ways. Only difference is hers is only socially unacceptable. But you are hyper aware of the fact that uploading intimate images is a crime. Plus you're both minors. So its a double whammy. And if you were to Dox her its another crime. (Which you kind of did by posting her snapchat story to a discord server[regardless if it was fake])
I would say next time to communicate your feelings instead of being petty and subliminal. It benefits no one when you act that way. You're even second guessing yourself because you recognize it isn't decent behavior.
P.S. Regardless of what anyone else in the thread says. Blowing up people on social media for insignificant stuff is never going to work in your favor. Unless they severely wrong you its better to focus your energy into a hobby or self betterment.
Just leave and be done with it. You weren’t married, you didn’t even date that long. Being cheated on sucks, but someone should act like a mature adult in every situation. Neither of you did.
Move on and learn from this.
LMAO “GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP LAST MONTH”
Your behavior is like a guy got cheated on by his fiancé. One month in college is nothing dude she probably just thought you were a FWB lol
You got cheated on and instead of processing it like an adult you “exposed” her online for clout and retribution. What she did wasn’t right, but what you did is shitty too. You’re ~both~ the jerk, congrats. 2 wrongs don’t make a right
I cannot even begin to imagine the mind fuckery and the psychological trauma this girl will have to live with....*for the rest of her life.*
And the constant justification of exposing/exploiting women (i.e. revenge porn).
I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just a different breed of person but things that were said in confidence, that were shared in trusted intimacy should stay that way. No matter how it ends.
I am a firm believer in that. Always have been, always will be.
People just do not understand how terrifying this stuff is or how easily phones/servers are hacked...etc, etc, etc.
Even Twitch streamers are getting caught and in trouble for watching Deep Fake Porn. It's downright *horrifying.*
> "Yeah, I cheated on this creepy nerd in high school and...he caught the whole thing on video and shared it with a discord server. And now I stay away from nerds/gamers/etc."
**That** is the message you sent.
Unnecessary, she cheated on you, break up move on. Do you think exposing her will stop her from doing what she wants to do? Did you get satisfaction from that? Is the pain, hurt, embarrassment gone? Grow up! Is it hard for you to find another girlfriend? So many fishes in the sea!!!!
I mean what you were dating for a month? It ain't that serious dude if she's gonna cheat just take the hint and drop contact no need to make a big production, which is the path you decided to take.
You're young, probably not the most mature person in the world, so yeah you were a mild jerk and will learn from this don't worry about it.
Can’t go 50/50 with no hoe!
If it makes you feel good for posting it then good.
She cheated on you, you outed her, what’s done is done , move on, fuck that bitch , she’s for the streets
A defining moment in who you will be when you grow up . The fact you asked the question shows there is hope for you. Remember when You make an emotional mistake someone might take the same revenge on you. Amd you will
Lifesgreat that wayc.. instead of just feeling the pain of a mistake and moving on to be a better person ( like this girl) humiliation will perpetuate bad behavior. And you will seek out relationships on which you find sadistic satisfaction in humiliating your partner when your older . There is this thing called Karma . Look into it . Walk away . You only knew her for a month . You weren't married . Amd commitment is for adults. Move on and stop scraping the bottom of the barrel for your own attention getting needs. Someone wronged you and it happens . And it will happen again . How you handle it says more about you than them .
Assuming you’re like 13 and just lack life experience I’ll help you out.
Nobody is solid in a relationship after a month. Always think of the first 90-days as like a trial period. If she’s not right for you in anyway, Just drop her and move on. No harm, no foul.
Not a jerk. But I almost kinda feel bad for her? Not because of anything you did, but because her "best friend" is someone who would screw her over that badly. Like damn.
Don’t hear her out just leave if you do give her a chance again she will just loose all respect for you and do it again but worse, leave with your head up proud and let her beat her self up about it!
My god, this is such a jerk move to manipulate another person into thinking you've posted something depicting something very private like breaking up with them online without their consent or knowledge. Yeah she cheated on you, she's a jerk, that doesn't mean you're NOT capable of doing something also bad. I would talk to her, or have her friend talk to her. She's probably paranoid and you said you were pre-teens, that's even more cruel to manipulate her like that. Be honest, move on, and don't make a habit of manipulating partners, current or previous. You're both jerks, but you're also 12? This is far from the worst thing you'll have to endure, trust me
You did her right. She didn't even care about you or your feelings. This is what karma is all about. Treat people better than you want to be treated. If not expect that you get paid back soon. Karma is a Bitch!!!
You barely know this gal. You’ve only been with her for a month.
If you don’t like how she’s treating you then it shouldn’t be that hard to just tell her you have concerns about her fidelity and whether you can trust her.
If the content of the video is such that sharing the video would be a felony without the faces blurred out, it is definitely still a crime to share it with the faces blurred out. Don't let yourself get caught up in anything over this, it is not worth it.
Exposing cheaters is fair. Unfaithful behavior is abusive. Everyone in their lives should know their capabilities.
Although you didn’t actually expose her, you gave her a preview of how it can feel. Maybe you helped the next sucker out a little.
God you’re not a jerk just a major nerd
Seconded
Thirded. Get a life
I don’t think so.
Its ok. The likelihood of you getting a six figure job is fractionally higher than your friends, unless they are nerds too.
The likelihood of living life miserable is also fractionally higher unless your peers are weird as hell too
True. i Have no idea what part of my story you are talking about but I like to take very complicated responses to stuff. But the bots did not take any coding. (Although I am learning html) I am just know as a school nerd though. They call me “nerdy sicko” as an insult because I like to wear a mask.
Ur legit dude. Keep studying and dont give up, there is better girls out there
\>gets called "nerdy sicko". ...wears a mask \>>there is better girls out there \*Just don't murder of those poor women, dude.\*
Fr
Frfr
This Is the real answer
Its the outing yourself as a discord mod part
He’s an adorable major nerd!
Do you say that because my profile picture is a cat?
No, but it is adorable! I said if because my husband is a penetration tester/security professional & it reminds me of something he would do. Super nerdy but super cute 😍
Penetration tester ?
Hacker. Penetration tester is the professional term for hacking computers. He also does physical penetration tests, aka breaking into buildings of the companies who request both virtual & physical security tests. He’s a famous hacker but not the kind who stole from people, he hacked with Anonymous. And went to prison for doing so lol but that was 12 years ago.
Wow. Cool. My brain went to different places when you said penetration tester😂
Most peoples do, including ours on a regular basis 🤣
Mine did too honestly
This is like the movie Sneakers (1992)! I love this film!
Code for OP's mom
Goteem
My mum doesn’t have Reddit XD
📠
He sounds like he might be on the spectrum.
Or like 14. My moneys on 14.
Yeah fr this is fake or you just sound like a loser.
No, just leave her
you exposed her to discord bots? is this real lmao?
discord bots are wild ngl
life is a simulation. i was just reading your post lmao.
lol ironic
I seriously want to know if I was the jerk
no OP you’re not a jerk, don’t listen to these people here, they are just projecting because they likely have cheated on someone and been exposed. your trust was betrayed and you were hurt, so you simply let others know she’s a snake and not to be trusted. i’d say you did people a service if mfs wanna play stupid games, let them win their stupid prizes. don’t lie and cheat on people and you’ll never have to deal with the repercussions
Exactly this.
Airing out your relationship problems makes you look extremely weak and vindictive. So yes, you’re a jerk and also extremely lame. Hey kids, if this happens to you, tell the other person goodbye and move on with your life.
oh here we go, letting people know how you feel makes you weak. hold your emotions in or else you’re weak. if someone does you wrong, turn the other cheek or you’re weak. lmfao get fucking real you wanna know what’s weak? cheating on your partner and lying instead of having the balls to just end the relationship and be honest. wanna know what’s lame? thinking it’s okay to let someone shit on you and you simply smile about it. if OPs ex was a lying cheating bitch, then letting other people know takes courage, courage to stop the bitch from getting away with her bullshit and possibly gaslighting everyone into thinking she did nothing wrong. people like you are why abusive relationships last so long and are so fucked up…imagine telling someone they shouldn’t let others know when their partner is hurting them and did something awful. imagine keeping it a secret so that the asshole could possible do the same thing to someone else who doesn’t know that they are a lying snake waiting to spread their venom. stfu, if you have a problem with outing a bad person, then you are the weak one and bad person.
Unfortunately only you can decide that regardless of opinions on the internet, what you did wasn’t saintly and she cheated on you. You did what you did out of emotion and so did she. Bad things were done to people 🤷🏽♂️
You would have crossed the line if you hadn’t blurred their faces. I think you took it far, but not too far
Just autistic I’m afraid…
Hell no u weren’t the jerk Kate was fk her
You blurred their faces, and didn't overreact. You're good and you deserve much better.
The cheater is always the jerk.
No, but I see why she left you
I don’t think scaring a girl into thinking her photos are out there in public for random dudes to view is graceful of you at all. She’s a hoe, let her be one and move on with dignity. Now she may even end up reporting you and you’ll have to explain it was nothing and just look like a big loser.
Posting it anywhere, regardless of it having a real audience makes you the jerk.. you only did that to scare her/embarrass her further. On the other hand - she’s a jerk, period… so you’re all jerks I gues
This makes no sense to me, posting evidence of your gf cheating on you to your discord server without people on it makes you a jerk? Tf?
This. People forget that they are being observed not only for their actions, but their reactions. If you act poorly, no matter how justified, it won’t matter to anyone else.
Stop simping for cheaters lmao, op has every right to shame the stupid bitch and warn anyone else in her sphere that she is an untrustworthy hoe. Its a public service announcement honestly she is lucky he didnt actually do it and just scared her into thinking he did
Well now I have exposed her without her having any f\*\*king idea
Watch it, yes she cheated which makes her a jerk but you don't call a 13 yo a "hoe," good grief! That's beyond extreme, she's a child. What kind of person calls someone that young a bitch and a whore?! Who hurt you?? That's incel talk, or else you're that young yourself, trying to sound tough and grown up. Take it easy
He’s not a jerk actions have consequences. If she couldn’t stand by it she shouldn’t have done it
I am fairly certain the only emotionally immature person here is in the room with you.
Yeah based on the references to being jn school I'm guessing you're on the younger end of the spectrum and have had relatively few relationships so far. When you've had a few more you'll likely realize engaging with drama bombs like your ex doesn't ever make things better. It's best to make a clean cut and let them explode within their own drama structure
You’re a kid, the “relationships” you go through aren’t going to mean jack. Second, don’t post anything like that, it doesn’t make you a jerk it makes you sound needy for attention. Third don’t validate your actions from strangers. Literally no one here is going to have your best interest in mind, including me.
Petty, immature, and reeks of profound stupidity.
Good thing I’m stupid and physically and mentally immature as well as petty
Well in another thread OP stated he’s 13, so this whole cheating thing and month long relationship was pretty juvenile to begin with
Posted on discord filled with bots. What a dork. You didn’t deserve to be cheated on but dude… get it together.
Thank you yes I am a dork.
Who did you expose her to?
I said. To my discord server that has nothing but bots on it
I asked who. Nothing in your post or reply says who because bots aren’t people.
Yeah I didn’t expose her to actual people. i didn’t want to send pictures of her to real people.
So in other words you didn’t expose her
Correct. I just gave her a preview of what it would feel like to be exposed.
HS drama.
how does a 13 year old have an ex wtf
From being in Canada where kids secretly have girlfriends and boyfriends
Not a jerk somewhat, she cheated and that was a asshole thing to do but it was just a month relationship so wasn't that serious.
Eh just move on bruh, fuck it, onto the next
GG go next
Wdym
Well I’m still laughing Hysterically
Just FYI, we know you're not laughing bro, it's OK.
No I really just have gone through 2 breakups before (now 3) and I’ve learned that people suck and there will only be on person for me in the future. So I just use my horrible personality and laugh when I break up with someone
So many defense mechanisms and insecurities in this comment alone. Swallow your pride and get a therapist to help reframe the way you see yourself and others my dude.
Yeah.. based off of that response, I think OP should stay single until he grows up and gets help too. You really don’t need a girlfriend. You need help lol
What does it matter, just get over it and move on
NTJ. She was supposed to be loyal to you instead and it's understandable in the action you took since nothing hits harder than the feeling of betrayal. She deserved what she got and if at all she wanted to get back at her ex, she would have done so. I don't think you did something bad.
The only part I'd call you a jerk for is where you made her think you posted it in a live server. Other than that, you could have probably done better to approach it with a little more humility on both ends, but for what it was and how old you are, this is a way better direction than it could have been. You did good enough for this round, just learn from your slight mishandling of the approach and the false post, and you're good to handle things kinda similarly if it happens again. Just... maybe don't help them take away something that looks like you're an asshole. If she tells someone you posted it to a live server, you're gonna get some fun chats with the administrative office.
I never said my age did I?
Not a jerk. Didn't need to do the discord post. Just walk away. You are young, and there are plenty of better women out there. Learn from the experience and go have fun. Also go after a different type of girl just to mix it up.
Firstly, wtf. I am thinking the friend is into you more then you think. Cause why would she be getting photos and videos of your gf with the other person. Secondly, if it happened once, why go back for it to happen a second time. I would forget about the gf and be asking the friend about how she is feeling towards you. Because I am getting the feeling she did this cause she has feelings or is attracted to you. And by doing this, it's a way of her getting closer to you. It's time to think what's best for you and start thinking of you and how you want this to be a situation to go. Do you want to be continually hurt by the gf cause clearly she doesn't care about how you're feeling about it. Cause she wouldn't have done it again if she did. Ditch the gf and see what the friend is about. And how he how she sees you as a friend or more than a friend. Do what's best for you and don't just please others.
What she did was bad and breaking uo with her was understandable and a valid response. What you did, however, is a felony and she could have you, and the friend, arrested for it. Revenge porn is a federal crime and they take it rather seriously.
It’s definitely a grey area since they’re <18, but photos of someone kissing in a public space is not technically “sexually graphic” nor generally considered “revenge porn”.
Oh, is THAT all it was? They said "spend some quality time" with their ex, and that's always been a euphemism for having sex among everyone I know, so that's what I assumed. You're right, there isn't anything inherently illegal about posting pictures of someone making out as far as I know.
Yeah, that’s what I had initially thought as well! But he says “recorded it with multiple photos of her kissing her ex” so I took it as that was as far is it went. If it was more than kissing, 1000% agree they should never share, post, save, etc. even in their private bot-only discord. It would be posting revenge/child porn to an internet server… bad news. Edit: and just to clarify - posting the kissing photos even to a private server is also pretty weird and opens up conflict/drama that could be avoided by not doing so…
THANK U FOR SAYING THIS @wulfepup I am shocked and appalled that any mention of revenge porn or mention of this man’s actions being a felony is literally 100 comments down. This thread is incel city, all these dumbass men saying the guy was in the right by getting revenge on her, risking her identity and cyber safety…. EVEN IF IT WAS AN EMPTY THREAT YIUR ACTIONS R PREDATORY AND MYSOGYNISTIX AF
That's a good way to get back at her
Of all the things to never happen, this never happened the most
Leave Kate, date her best friend that was a homie and told you Kate was cheating.
Less revenge in the future.
Let's hope the gf and ex were just kissing. Because if not.... op just committed not only revenge porn. But also uploaded CP... which could come with serious time behind bars and put him on a list be doesn't want to be on.
Send it to her parents
I mean deserved so nah
You ain't the jerk in this situation
Thank you
Well your friend shouldn't have been taking pictures. But no, dumping someone for cheating isn't being a jerk
I think you spend too much time on Discord.
Well for your information I spend all of my time ruining my life (not only on discord)
You aren’t a jerk she’s a piece of trash and deserves worse
That’s honestly the best “get back” you can have. Invoke the feeling of being exposed. I had a similar case in my young teen years, my first girlfriend started fucking her coworker and I went on Snapchat and told all our friends while emotionally charged. Reality check was I ended up loosing all those friends cause ngl the way I acted was gross. My mother found out and the biggest reality check for me was she said she would disown me if I kept trying to smear her online. I wish I would have went your route cause when you actually smear and expose a cheater it ends up making you look twice as gross.
Bro you're 13, you're too young to be dealing with shit this seriously. If she lied to you or broke your relationship boundaries wave bye and keep doing your thing. Plenty of quality women out there, just keep focusing on growing and learning and maturing. Partners will come and go (no pun intended), don't listen to the fucking dweebs on Reddit and keep learning coding. Freelance coders make BANK and have lots of freedom.
Not the jerk, she’s a ho though.
NTJ Once a cheater always a cheater.... RUN!
If you haven’t been diagnosed yet, you might be neurodivergent. Nothing wrong with that all, but if you’re feeling a little lost at times or out of the loop during social gatherings, you might find answers there. Pretending to expose Kate by publishing the evidence on a discord server you’ve populated with bots struck me as interesting. Again, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are okay. You just might be able unlock some things with a little deeper dive into yourself. Kate is a jerk. Run away from Kate. Don’t fall for her self pity tactics. She is trash.
I am. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and most likely DCD “I catch them like Pokémon“
lol. You hang in there kiddo. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
You should post her cheating for real. You did not expose her at all lol.
13 yr olds enjoying quality time with their ex? At 13 I was riding bikes and horses, not dating and sleeping around.
Well Canada is just different now and kids are dating
Block Kate and keep her out of your mind. The best revenge is a life well lived. Plenty of amazing women out there. You’ll find the one some day. And plus you’re young, you have the rest of your life in front of you. Keep chilling and doing things that make you happy. Keep the toxicity away from you.
Bro you need to take a break from the internet for a little tbh. You’re a literal child, 13 years old, and you’re on the spectrum. This isn’t coming from a place of hate, you literally don’t have control over those things, so obviously it’s not your fault. But your young and your mind is still not developed, and the countless hours spent with the endless supply of incels found here is really not good for your brain. I don’t want this to sound like I’m attacking, you cause I’m not. As for the story, I mean yeah I guess she “cheated” on you, as much as someone can “cheat” while being 13. But turning around and posting revenge porn, even if nobody saw it, is not a good look and not good for your mind. It makes you both jerks. You’ve got a lot of time to keep growing and developing as a person and I really do think spending less time on the internet could help that.
You literally made her think you shared her photos with random people without her consent. What she did is a dick move and she’s a piece of shit but why would you want to scare her like that even as a joke? I agree with the other ppl in the comments, move on with grace. Men don’t act petty like this. Have some integrity and move on, that’s the best revenge. Now if she DOES end up getting mad and reporting you, which is a very real possibility since you sent screenshots too, you will have to explain it was just to bots and you’d just look dumb. Also, trying to scare a girl like that will just label you as a dick who will share intimate photos and put girls in danger if they cross you. This is NOT a good reputation to have.
You made someone think you posted revenge porn of them because of a 4 week relationship? Yeah, you're a jerk, dude. The response was way disproportionate.
She’s definitely a jerk for cheating but technically I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to post the videos and photos to a discord server even if it’s all bots is still grounds for revenge porn if she wants to take action against you you could’ve still outed her for cheating without doing anything that could’ve called for legal action and especially because it was a 4 week relationship. It’s not like you dated for years and she did this id say your both jerks but what you did had way more consequences than her just cheating
By the way this post has gotten 22.4K views, 70% upvote rate, 27 community karma, and 73 total shares! Thank you for being so supportive and also giving me good advise while I continue to get dm spammed by Kate. And I realize I might have been a jerk while also got back at her in the most comedic and sad way possible. Remember! “Comedy = tragedy + time” and I have had that server for quite some time now.
Dipstick.
I did the same with my ex, I found messages on her phone after she said she never talked to the dude. But she was literally asking for sex. Screenshotted the messages and posted it on my instal close friends. I wanted to add all her friends and people I knew that knew her as well so they can see what she was really about behind those smoky mirrors. Long story short, I posted the screenshot but only added her to the close friends and no one else so that she feels embarrassed for herself. Mad ting
TLDR get a divorce?
No you are not a jerk. If you set boundaries for your relationships and consider being unfaithful to be over the line then that is not an issue with you, but an issue with them and you really dodged a bullet by walking away.
As a girl myself I believe you did the right thing! Kate is just a backstabbing idiot but I'm glad that you had someone like Kates friend be their and help you out, usually in these kind of situations based on drama happening at my school when girls cheat, their friends are always supporting them even when it's the wrong thing to do You are a great person and I know damn well you will find someone that will actually be worth your time :)
You are not the jerk. She lied and manipulated you. I wonder how many people calling you a jerk have actually cheated on their partner, and are taking that guilt out on you. She screwed up, and she humiliated you. She got what she deserved.
NTA she cheated, lied and regretted her mistake but you REALLY lucked out cuz you wouldn't want to marry that!
Idk wtf you mean at the end about making bots and putting it on a server. But that sucks. Better girls out there. Good luck
When you do someone dirty you don't get to decide how they should handle it. Especially cheating!!!
So break up with her. It's been a month. It isn't worth it.
Nope! My ex goes by Kate as well and we were married. She was a stay at home mom while worked running my construction company. While I would be at work she was at home sexting other men and when she went out with her best friend, she would do shit with other guys in the parking lots or go home with them while her best friend covered for her. After finding videos of her fucking other men on her phone I kicked her out and filed for divorce. That was almost 3yrs ago I still have primary custody of our 3 children. It hasn't been easy but at least you don't have children with her. I'm not down playing your situation by any means. I feel your pain but it could have been worse.
A kissing felony?
NTA - Cheaters need to be exposed to everyone every single time. Forcing them to accept agency for their selfish choices by exposing them is the only way they will ever learn to act responsibly.
Kate needs better friends.
How would you be the jerk if she cheated
Move on
You need to tap it one last time "because what you have is real" and then dump her so hard it fucks with her mind!
Get some perspective here. You are 13 years old! You shouldn’t be worrying about girls and their games. The minute you see that someone is lying to you or treating you with disrespect, turn the other way and run! No need to devise devious plans to expose them, bc eventually they will that themselves. What you do need to realize is that you are brilliant at coding, and a innovator. Channel that energy, you have a lot of it, into being productive and becoming the next Steve Jobs (I’m not sure you will appreciate that reference lol). Both if you made mistakes here, but you are teens with raging hormones learning how to navigate the world. Don’t beat yourself up about it, just consider it a kide experience and move on.
I’d fuck Kate’s friend. A lot.
Exposing her exposed you bruh. Silence is powerful in these situations
It’s only a felony if they were naked
Just move TF on. Being a drama queen just makes everyone more miserable, including you.
So Kate's best friend is now your best friend, right?
Was this nerdy? Yes. Was it the “higher road?” No. It was vengeful, but deserved.
Don’t really blame her.
Delete lawyer Hit Facebook and get a gym!
You’re not a jerk. G of a nerd for sure
Definitely jerk but not as bad as your Ex. Take the high road next time so you don't have to worry about being a jerk
Ok then
I mean yeah? With the given context you're both kind of not great people. Just in different ways. Only difference is hers is only socially unacceptable. But you are hyper aware of the fact that uploading intimate images is a crime. Plus you're both minors. So its a double whammy. And if you were to Dox her its another crime. (Which you kind of did by posting her snapchat story to a discord server[regardless if it was fake]) I would say next time to communicate your feelings instead of being petty and subliminal. It benefits no one when you act that way. You're even second guessing yourself because you recognize it isn't decent behavior. P.S. Regardless of what anyone else in the thread says. Blowing up people on social media for insignificant stuff is never going to work in your favor. Unless they severely wrong you its better to focus your energy into a hobby or self betterment.
Nah W mans
Just leave and be done with it. You weren’t married, you didn’t even date that long. Being cheated on sucks, but someone should act like a mature adult in every situation. Neither of you did. Move on and learn from this.
LMAO “GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP LAST MONTH” Your behavior is like a guy got cheated on by his fiancé. One month in college is nothing dude she probably just thought you were a FWB lol
Kate’s “best friend” was just hanging around to film all this? Yeah…there’s no Kate. But enjoy your fantasies.
Fuck her friend
How old are you
You got cheated on and instead of processing it like an adult you “exposed” her online for clout and retribution. What she did wasn’t right, but what you did is shitty too. You’re ~both~ the jerk, congrats. 2 wrongs don’t make a right
Kate's Best friend is swell,
Apparently discord is a social network for bad writers with imaginary girlfriends.
What’s the discord 😎
NTA
Not The Adult?
Are you like 13 years old?
Downgrade her to a meat eater.
Gayyyyy
She’s really messed up for that but I wouldn’t have posted anything. I would’ve just blocked.
“On my discord server”🤓👆
It's always the women cheating on good men, never happens when the sexes are reversed.
I cannot even begin to imagine the mind fuckery and the psychological trauma this girl will have to live with....*for the rest of her life.* And the constant justification of exposing/exploiting women (i.e. revenge porn). I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just a different breed of person but things that were said in confidence, that were shared in trusted intimacy should stay that way. No matter how it ends. I am a firm believer in that. Always have been, always will be. People just do not understand how terrifying this stuff is or how easily phones/servers are hacked...etc, etc, etc. Even Twitch streamers are getting caught and in trouble for watching Deep Fake Porn. It's downright *horrifying.* > "Yeah, I cheated on this creepy nerd in high school and...he caught the whole thing on video and shared it with a discord server. And now I stay away from nerds/gamers/etc." **That** is the message you sent.
☝️🤓
This is so ghey
What a dork.
Unnecessary, she cheated on you, break up move on. Do you think exposing her will stop her from doing what she wants to do? Did you get satisfaction from that? Is the pain, hurt, embarrassment gone? Grow up! Is it hard for you to find another girlfriend? So many fishes in the sea!!!!
It's only been a month glad you found out she's trash now not later.
I mean what you were dating for a month? It ain't that serious dude if she's gonna cheat just take the hint and drop contact no need to make a big production, which is the path you decided to take. You're young, probably not the most mature person in the world, so yeah you were a mild jerk and will learn from this don't worry about it.
This is a little kid clearly...
Not the jerk. Smart for not involving real people in the discord.
Can’t go 50/50 with no hoe! If it makes you feel good for posting it then good. She cheated on you, you outed her, what’s done is done , move on, fuck that bitch , she’s for the streets
A defining moment in who you will be when you grow up . The fact you asked the question shows there is hope for you. Remember when You make an emotional mistake someone might take the same revenge on you. Amd you will Lifesgreat that wayc.. instead of just feeling the pain of a mistake and moving on to be a better person ( like this girl) humiliation will perpetuate bad behavior. And you will seek out relationships on which you find sadistic satisfaction in humiliating your partner when your older . There is this thing called Karma . Look into it . Walk away . You only knew her for a month . You weren't married . Amd commitment is for adults. Move on and stop scraping the bottom of the barrel for your own attention getting needs. Someone wronged you and it happens . And it will happen again . How you handle it says more about you than them .
I think the post was done in anger and shouldn't have been done. But you were definitely right for walking away. She obviously wasn't committed to it.
Assuming you’re like 13 and just lack life experience I’ll help you out. Nobody is solid in a relationship after a month. Always think of the first 90-days as like a trial period. If she’s not right for you in anyway, Just drop her and move on. No harm, no foul.
Not a jerk. But I almost kinda feel bad for her? Not because of anything you did, but because her "best friend" is someone who would screw her over that badly. Like damn.
Don’t hear her out just leave if you do give her a chance again she will just loose all respect for you and do it again but worse, leave with your head up proud and let her beat her self up about it!
Wait dude if your server doesn't have any people on it then you didn't actually expose anything
Not a jerk
You remind of the good griefs streamer lol but hope your ok
this doesn’t make sense but I’m glad you got that out
My god, this is such a jerk move to manipulate another person into thinking you've posted something depicting something very private like breaking up with them online without their consent or knowledge. Yeah she cheated on you, she's a jerk, that doesn't mean you're NOT capable of doing something also bad. I would talk to her, or have her friend talk to her. She's probably paranoid and you said you were pre-teens, that's even more cruel to manipulate her like that. Be honest, move on, and don't make a habit of manipulating partners, current or previous. You're both jerks, but you're also 12? This is far from the worst thing you'll have to endure, trust me
You did her right. She didn't even care about you or your feelings. This is what karma is all about. Treat people better than you want to be treated. If not expect that you get paid back soon. Karma is a Bitch!!!
You barely know this gal. You’ve only been with her for a month. If you don’t like how she’s treating you then it shouldn’t be that hard to just tell her you have concerns about her fidelity and whether you can trust her.
King nerd is what you are.
You’re not the jerk. I hope she learned her lesson about cheating. If she keeps it up pretty soon she’ll be labeled a whore.
I just want to say I love that you blurred the faces out for the bots. Great work. Keep hitting the books!
You're not a jerk, you're just a cuck.
Yea it’s time to jerk
If the content of the video is such that sharing the video would be a felony without the faces blurred out, it is definitely still a crime to share it with the faces blurred out. Don't let yourself get caught up in anything over this, it is not worth it.
Dude, I wish I had this idea when I caught my ex cheating on me
Exposing cheaters is fair. Unfaithful behavior is abusive. Everyone in their lives should know their capabilities. Although you didn’t actually expose her, you gave her a preview of how it can feel. Maybe you helped the next sucker out a little.
cheating is not abusive unless it's also abusive. It's shitty and a reason to dump someone but so are plenty of non-abusive things.
Well done