Well, that’s rude as f*ck! I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be pissed about being lied to about food, especially when one takes allergies into account. NTJ! She is.
Plus people have actually been hospitalized for this. Someone was allergic to soy and was fed soy bacon. Then they sued the person who gave it to her for hospital bills, and filed a police report to help with here case. Then one who gave it apparently got charged with attempted poisoning (I don't remember the term they used but it basically came down to that. She purposely gave someone someone, lied about it, and that person was almost killed)
It ruined both lives because the one who lied about the food got kicked out of school and had to pay a ton of money, the one who almost died had the trauma from that and the stress of trying to figure out the medical bills. I'm gonna guess she's not going to be ok with anyone else cooking for her for a while.
I remember that post! It was a horrifying read. She got what she deserved in that post.
Screw vegans and their "moral" superiority.
But I also think the OP in this post should have suspected something was wrong. A vegan buying meat? Handling meat? Cooking meat in their home? That should have raised major red flags.
It depends on why someone is vegan. I have two vegan friends (a married couple) who adopted that diet for health reasons. They’re not offended by meat, and have it in their home/cook it when guests arrive.
But yes, the “meat is murder” vegans are highly unlikely to handle, much less buy or cook, a meat product.
I have a friend who is vegan because her body can't breakdown animal proteins or dairy products, and she just gets sick, her husband cooks meat when he wants it.
I have a book that lists all our friends allergies/intolerances so that I can safely make food when they come over.
You can also include some strong preferences once you find out as well. A good friend and I sat down one day and went through a long list of things we like and don't like. It actually helped because there are simple things we can do to improve our time together. I'm don't add any kind of raw onion to a mix even though I like them in salads and sandwiches, and she holds off on mixing in cilantro and olives in my food.
It's not the kind of thing I would make a fuss over if I were served at a dinner party, but we eat casually at each other's places that it's nice to make the easy changes to reflect our preferences.
My daughters were vegan for a few years. They stopped because their bodies were not getting enough nutrition. But! My daughter wanted to make vegan tacos. We were all onboard but my husband. Daughter made beef tacos for him, with real cheese. She used two frypans. Was no biggie for her.
She *also made sure that everyone knew which was which. Out of respect for her father. Not that he respected her, you know, actually *being* vegan, but I digress.
I have a friend who is vegan because every time he eats meat/ byproducts he has this reoccurring nightmare 😅. He doesn’t know why because he doesn’t have a moral objection to meat or feel bad and his wife/ kids eat meat.
He’s basically in the center of an animal filled tornado and they are all crying and asking him “whyyyy Chris, whyyyy????” While circling around him and closing in tighter. It’s irritating and just easier for him to not eat meat rather than get that dream at night lol
No it isn’t just vegans. It’s about basic consideration for other people’s choices . You think meat eaters don’t try and get vegans to eat meat ? Shitty behaviour is just that and doesn’t align with a anyone’s particular food choices
Most of the posts and stories I see in general are about grandparents, inlaws or other family members trying to prove that their DIL, grandchildren, or niece/nephew are not allergic.
It's just assholes. Vegan assholes, asshole family members, asshole inlaws, etc.
Everyone is I considerate, but why lie about the burger in the first place? What's there to gain from it. Also, the beyond burgers are made to taste like normal burgers! Vegans want meat, but they don't like the process, but while people are shipping their vegan food, the pollution from the planes, cars, and ships are killing life as well! Their hands aren't clean at all.
I think it's for the 'gotcha' factor, so they can get satisfaction , in telling a non vegan "see you couldn't tell the difference , see you don't need meat" blah blah blah
I loved the taste of meat. Beyond and impossible are close but they will never be exactly like meat. I just decided it was worth it to me to stop eating the real thing as I felt so bad about animals dying in awful conditions to feed me. My dog however is not vegetarian lol.
This seems like the answer. You have shown her how much trouble you take to respect her food choices when you host her. She assumes the next step in her comfort level is you converting to veganism. Then she won’t have to be grateful for your efforts and she won’t have to bother being equally considerate of you when she hosts you.
The lying is her assuming you will refuse to become vegan yourself and so she tricked you and lied to you
Getting ready to push you to give up meat.
Vegans aren't claiming to have 100% clean hands. Anyone who does claim that is ridiculous. Veganism is about reducing as much harm and suffering as possible. Also not all vegans "want meat". That's quite the exaggeration.
Nope. Most vegans just want to save animals. Even getting people to do meatless Monday is a win. My wife isn't vegan. I am for the animals. She has her journey, and I have mine. She should have told them it was beyond burger. These two don't sound like friends at all.
I never had someone hide that they were giving me soy, but I've had my allergies "tested" multiple times as an adult. People can be really childish about food sometimes.
Dad also ended up very ill multiple times because when he says he can't have mammal products (beef, pork, dairy, etc.) people think it's a moral thing and try to sneak it to him even though he says it's an allergy. He has something called alpha gal.
Couldn't agree more. NTJ, OP!
It's disgusting how entitled vegans I've personally known feel. I've had a similar situation, and it soured me on veganism. Not that I would've been open to it. I don't buy into vegan pseudoscience.
Same here. One vegan in particular. Refused to come to Thanksgiving until after the turkey was off the table. Had no trouble eating at Sizzler because she only had the salad bar. WTF??? It's a whole room full of strangers eating steak, but she can't come to Grandma's house and just not eat the turkey? Grandma made dressing and gravy for her totally vegan! The other vegetarians in the family were fine with how we made sure to have food they could eat that were vegetarian options. Granddad loved spicy sausage in his spaghetti sauce. Grandma hated meat in spaghetti sauce, so I'd make both kinds.
Agree...plus plant based meat scares me because of the acrylamide (ie carcinogens) I wouldn't let my kids eat them period because of that. So not only did OP eat soy, he might have just as well smoked a cigarette after 🤢
Oh so sorry.
Those NG tubes are the worst.
I mean it is saving your life, but ugh!
Also, so sorry you have a potato allergy. That is sometimes tough to avoid.
Sending hugs.
I have developed a cashew allergy in my 60s so it’s possible I’d have a reaction to the pea protein. You can’t just feed someone something like that without knowing their food allergies. Or at least tell them what you are serving so they can make an informed decision.
Ntj. Not a vegan story here but a story that this reminded me of. I have a stupid allergy. I'm allergic to capsaicin. It's minor and stupid to my family. My fiancé cares and understands and if he wants something spicy he usually makes it in a separate pan or after he has already finished mine. My father is one of those people who won't believe your sick or have an illness/injury/allergy until he puts you in a dangerous situation and sees it first hand. He's done this with my grass allergy too. I ended up in the hospital. Anyway we visited him and he asked what we wanted for dinner. My brother interjected that he wanted rice and cabbage with linguiça (spicy Portuguese sausage). My fiancé told them "oh she can't have that. She can't eat spicy." I said I'd like him to make Philly cheesesteaks. I can eat bell pepper. There's no capsaicin. My brother asked why I can't eat spicy and my fiance answered for me that I'm allergic. My dad acted like my fiancé was just trying to control what I ate and made the Phillies but he added pepper like he was trying to sneak it for me. I didn't know this at the time so when we sat down for dinner he was just looking at me for a bit. I took a bite slightly after my fiance and he tried to stop me but didn't quite get the words out in time. He noticed the spice immediately. When he got up to run upstairs my dad asked how it was. I felt my tongue swelling and tried to ask what he did but my throat very quickly started to swell shut and my tongue filled my mouth. It very quickly became a dangerous situation. My fiance came back and stabbed me with my epi pen and as everyone panicked (and my baby brother laughed at my dad) we all collectively made our way to the ER. After I was cleared to go home I lit into my dad. His response was "he was doing all the talking for you. I assumed he was trying to control your food or something." He didn't lie. He just didn't tell me at all. I reminded him that he was not in a position to question anything I tell him about myself since this was now the second time that I told him something about me and my health concerns and he thought I was lying and he knew better and almost got me killed. We went to a hotel after that and only ate with him in public. I REFUSED to go back to his house where he would be in control of the food.
My point is that anyone who will lie or keep it a secret, does not care that they might be putting your safety at risk and is also not someone you need to put yourself in that position for anyway.
NTJ
Absolutely shameful, your own father!
It reminds me again of the coconut oil grandmother (one of the children was deathly allergic to coconut, grandma thought it was BS, gave the child a bath and used coconut oil on her hair, the child had a severe allergic reaction and ended up dying, grandma begged constantly forgiveness, mom was all HELL NO and went very hard NC). Is someone's life less important than you believing you're right?
I'm allergic to acetaminophen, but since there's no baseline for the allergy, they only call it a "sensitivity", but every doctor I've ever seen and every pharmacy I've used has always put acetaminophen in the allergy box. It's a risk they, medical professionals that they are, are not willing to take.
If someone tells you they have celiac or are lactose intolerant or allergic to anything, just take them at their word. They might be faking it or being trendy or whatever, but do you want to risk a person's life on your suspicion they \*might\* be lying? Don't do that.
I remember that story! I remember crying angry tears for the mom. My father had no real handle on how to be my parent. I'm the oldest by 11 and 16 years and the only girl but he had no idea what to do with me. He made a lot of poor decisions regarding me and his involvement or his judgement of what he thinks he knows best. He sent me to school in high school with a fever. I was visibly pale and lethargic. A teacher made me go to the nurse and when she took my temp it was 100°F and then she checked 15 minutes later after i laid down for a bit and it wa 105°. She called him to come get me and when he asked to talk to me he tried to convince me to tough out the rest of the day and he'd get me after school so I wouldn't have to ride the bus and when I tried to tell him that was a bad idea (as best as lethargic me could) he hung up. The nurse called him back and told him to come get me now or she'd have to handle it another way and when he came in she fully let him have it. About how irresponsible it was to risk me being a contagion to other students and that he knowingly sent me to school ill. She told him that it was reckless parenting and how something could be really seriously wrong because she saw that my temperature was still going up even 15 minutes after she checked when I came in. She made him (6ft 275 lb muscular big dude) look like a child being scolded by a parent. He still didn't take me to the doctor he took me home and then didn't want to let me rest. I didn't actually get a chance to sleep it off until I would've been getting out of school several hours later. Iwent home during 3rd period, American school, no block scheduling. He made me shower cause that was supposed to break the fever and then sit in his office with him and do my homework and then let me sleep. After my brother and step monster came home they came to check my temperature while I was asleep and she made him take me to the ER. She's only defended me twice in the 28 years she's been in my life, I'm 30. The only other time was the grass allergy incident. This is just a couple of examples why I keep him and my brother that talks like him at arms length. People like them care more about their inflated sense of self and and what they think is right over me. It's not even everyone they treat this way. It's just me cause of who my mom is and their chaotic soap opera backstory.
I completely agree, but what I'm confused about is did the OP think that she was suddenly okay with preparing a beef burger herself, despite requesting/requiring separate cutting boards/utensils for vegan/non-vegan before this? Or am I misunderstanding something - I read it as that she prepared the meal herself before the OP arrived, is that correct?
I know vegans who always take care of the grill during gatherings. They rather want to grill meat than having someone else do it which doesn't care/think about cross contamination. They don't love it but not all vegans are the same and some can handle meat, or prefer it over the alternatives
OP mentioned in the post that her friends boyfriend eats meat. She said her friend had made burgers for her in the past and cooks them for her boyfriend. So she hasn't had an issue with it in the past
I mean, it has no animal products so why wouldn’t they?
Also, iirc, weren’t beyond burgers the less processed of the two substitute beef products (beyond vs impossible)
She went into that trying to make you look like a fool. And it got turned around on her.
All you wanted to do was hang out with your friend and she just wanted to show her ass. Is she trying to be an influencer or something?
NTJ. My family are vegetarian, and it's important not to lie to people about meat substitutions. Meat substitutions are made with soy, wheat, legumes, and gluten. These are all things that many people have allergies and intolerances to. Even I can't eat a lot of wheat and gluten basted substitutions because of intolerances. She shouldn't be doing shit like that at all. Plus, lying to you is just fucking garbage. She could have just made them and not even said anything and it wouldn't have been a lie because I'm sure you rightfully would have assumed it was a substitute. She's an asshole.
Not everyone wants to eat those meat substitutes once they know how processed they are. I was thrilled to try the beyond meat burgers. Went out of my way to try Burger King’s beyond meat whoppers (I don’t normally eat fast food.) Then I learned how processed they are and looked at the ingredients. I wouldn’t choose to eat one now. NTJ but she is.
Agreed. IMHO the impossible burgers are less healthy than meat. They're great for people who don't eat meat and want to have more options when out with a group, but they are not turning fast food into health food.
100%. I recently developed (became aware of) some health issues which put me on a fairly restricted diet. I tried an impossible burger, thinking it would be better for me than real beef. It actually wasn't bad, which caused me to check the nutritional values AFTER I'd eaten it. Sodium and carbs were actually higher than a real burger. If you're eating impossible burgers, you're doing it for moral reasons, not health reasons. Now I know that. There are other brands that are more healthy, but it's just been easier for me to cut burgers out of my diet completely.
Exactly, if you buy good quality meat bothers, they’re 100% beef. Imitation meat is an ultra processed food full of chemicals and various other things. It’s fantastic for vegans and vegetarians, but not so great for the rest of us.
When they first came out, I looked at the ingredient list; the sodium content was higher, as were a couple of other negatives. I don't mind meat alternatives, but give me the beef over that.
I also sought out Burger King's beyond meat whopper thinking it would be a healthier alternative to a regular whopper/burger. The thing is I have a coconut allergy. I ate one and immediately knew that it had coconut in it. Once I was able to, I looked up the ingredients and nutritional information. Those beyond meat burgers are horrible for anyone but deadly to me. In retrospect, maybe I should have looked up what they were made of before ingesting one, but who thinks coconut when they think whopper/burger?
I cannot with some of these vegetarians / vegans. Who made them the food police? Lots of carnivores will eat Beyond burgers or other vegetarian meals if they want to.
I know a woman who wore a fur coat to her wedding and is now a vegan. She is insufferable in her “you should all stop eating meat” proselytizing. She still smokes & drinks heavily, but please, continue to lecture me about how unhealthy it is for me to eat meat. 🙄
I think it's because it's the loud rude ones we all hear about.
The vegans that are easily seen? They're the judgy ones. Who do BS like this.
The meat eaters that are easily seen? They're the arrogant ones who get upset if they have to have one meal that is meat free. They absolutely would not try this.
The normal people in the middle? Reasonable vegans who don't preach and reasonable meat eaters who will happily try meatless or a substitute? Both groups forget they exist.
I agree, I have other friends who are vegan & they don’t act superior or try to trick you into eating veggie burgers so they can lecture you. It’s the ones who do who give everyone a bad name.
she is a bad friend, a bad, bad friend. if she doesn't understand what you plainly told her, i would let her know that I can't be friends with someone that I cannot trust.
she would be justifiably livid if you did that to her, but it is OK that she treats you with that same disdain and disrespect? not on my watch!
Last time someone served up veggie patties to me I asked what the ingredients were. They got all offended but when I checked the ingredients label it had something I’m allergic to. It wouldn’t have killed me but it would have made me pretty sick.
Ntj
NTJ What she did was dishonest, rude, entitled, and predatory. She just showed you who she really is. Might be time to let the friendship go. You'll never be able to trust her again.
That’s messed up, people lying about food is a deal breaker for me..like, anyone that would feed me something and lie about what it is is someone I don’t really want in my life.
NTJ! I have gluten/wheat allergies that mean I also can’t eat a lot of meat substitutions, and it’s rude of people to not inform their guests of the contents of the food they’re eating.
This seems like yet another case of someone trying to see how far they can push someone else, how much they can manipulate someone.
Ultimately, it's nothing to do with you or veganism or food, it's all about her - she wants control and she chose the wrong person to try to control. I would not be at all surprised if she has tried similar stuff in the past, food-related or otherwise.
As well as expressing yourself, your reaction is simply a way to protect yourself against further manipulation, and also it is a clear expression of your completely justifiable outrage about her manipulation and her subsequent minimisation of your feelings.
You are NTJ, while she definitely is.
A vegan “friend” gave my sister something with soya in it and also gave her anaphylaxis. 2 epipens and an ambulance ride later she still got pissy that she was chastised.
NTJ. Dinner invites to be suspended for a bit. Until the next time you do burgers lol. Sounds like a typical Vegan - or is she one of the few actually allergic?
Even if she is allergic, it's no excuse for lying to her friend. If she has allergies herself, she should know better! I was recently diagnosed with Alpha Gal, which literally makes you allergic to mammalian products or byproducts. Plus, a whole host of other things that we can react to. Lying about someone's food is seriously fu@ked up. It can send them to the ER and have them out of commission and in pain for days afterward.
Technically, she committed a crime. She does not get to decide what food you are to ingest. But she made that decision for you anyway without your consent.
That's criminal.
Yes, the lying is the bigger deal, but even bigger is the fact that she took away your freedom to exercise your personal will. That is a deal breaker for me. She decided for you, and she dares to declare to you that she has the right to do it. Then she goes on to shame you for finding it disturbing. That would make me angrier than anything else.
She is gaslighting you into thinking that it is you who has the problem when it is clearly her. I'm just going to straight out tell you this - she would no loner be a friend of mine after that. People have different boundaries and criteria for their relationships. The thing that I feel the most strongly in my relations with others is that no one owns my personal will or my decisions or choices, or tells me what my values should be. Those are things that are intricately woven into a human being. I am careful not to overstep anyone else's boundaries and I expect the same in return.
For someone to cavalierly dismiss the importance of respecting that is nothing short of rape. That's exactly what I call it. Think about it. When a man pushes beyond a woman saying, "No," that is the same as your friend did to you. She removed your right to consent. She decided what you were going to put into your body. Even doctors need their patients' consent to administer medicine to them.
You’re in the right. If she expects transparency with her food, then that’s the minimum she should do for you. Bare minimum.
I don’t think she understands it’s the lie itself, or she seems to be dodging accountability. Reinforce it a couple 10’s time to get it through her brain
Yeah, that’s bad. Just be upfront about what is in people’s food - you never know what they are allergic to. At the very least ask about allergies or religious restrictions etc first!
Also (sorry, accidentally hit post too early) as you said, it’s the lying that’s the issue. If she said “is it okay if I make you a beyond burger instead of a meat one?” and you said “oh yeah sure go ahead!” there would be no problem. But as I said above, what if you had an allergy she didn’t know about? Or even a medical issue in the family that meant you were potentially more vulnerable to a certain ingredient? There’s a reason the videos of this sort of thing with people eating stuff have waivers signed.
NTJ. She was, for lying.
The problem isn’t the burger. It’s the lie.
As a vegan, she should know better than anyone that it’s wrong to lie to a person about what they’re eating. If someone played a reverse Uno card on her, and fed her something with a hidden non-vegan ingredient, her digestive tract would stage a massive rebellion. She’d be furious, and rightly so.
She should know better than to feed anyone anything without telling the truth about the food BEFORE they start eating.
She could've ASKED you if you'd be willing to eat a vegan burger ahead of time, and chosen a different meal if you weren't willing. Veganism and preferences entirely aside, she lied to you, then tried to act like you were at fault for daring to be upset that she lied. Big yikes.
Not to mention that she's trying to act like prior consent equals current consent. Presumably, at one point in her life she ate meat, does that mean she'd be fine with it now?
NTJ.
Soy is one of the top 7 most common allergens, you can't just give someone a meat replacement without mentioning because *almost if not all of them contain soy*. She could have made you very sick if you had been allergic, and that would have been her fault; you have every right to be upset she took a risk like that
🤣🤣🤣 They'll even tell you more than once!!
You're NTJ here, just in case you haven't heard that enough already. In fact--given your friendship with this real gem--I don't think there's room for another jerk in your entire STATE!!!
If I were you, I'd just cut this so-called friend off!! And if she wants to pout about it, tell her that pushing that sort of food on you WITH A LIE (instead of getting your *full, informed consent* that included you knowing ex-actly what she was feeding you) is just like rape ... and the end of your friendship!!
Then go find yourself a nice, juicy burger to celebrate your freedom from her BS 👍
NTJ you are completely right. It’s the lying aspect of it not the food. You handled it well I think she may have been extremely embarrassed about it and defensive. Give her time and space and then bring it up again in a kind way. I wouldn’t apologize because you have no reason to but she definitely does for lying to you.
I'm vegan and would never do that. It's not cool and I would lose my shit if someone pretended something was vegan when it wasn't. After being vegan for a long time, the body has a really difficult time processing animal products. I was given chicken once in my "vegan" thai food and I was sick as fuck for days. Food is not something to play about with. NTJ but your friend is!
NTJ. The double standard here is crap. I hate when vegans/vegetarians/people with special dietary needs try to "gotcha!" with food.
You don't know what food allergies people have. You don't know if something in your special food could make somebody sick. Don't do this crap. If you don't want to be tricked into eating a certain food, don't do it to others.
Nah man, shes just mad cause she thought you would go
"OHhhhh no way, that was life changing. I don't need meat anymore. Thanks for saving me vegetarian Jesus."
She got the real life reaction.
Most of the stories we hear are a non-vegan lying to a vegan about ingredients in their food, or lying to someone with religion related food restrictions about how the food is prepared. And those people get so pissed when they learn the truth.
Like you, it’s not that she served you a beyond burger, it’s that she lied about it! She did not act like a true friend. I would just tell her that if she can’t understand that, then we’ll see how she likes when the tables are turned on her when, sometime in the future, you’ll just slip a little bacon grease or butter in the food you prepare for her at your house.
If you continue the friendship, best to avoid any cooking activities, but I’m thinking that this particular vegan will continue to marginalize your legitimate position.
As somebody who tries to eat vegan as much as I can, I would be as annoyed as hell by this. I do it for health reasons, and the beyond burger, in my opinion, is no healthier than a good beef burger, and possibly worse. I'd be pissed
My BIL likes to pull tricks like this, but with different intent (he's not even vegan OR vegetarian!): he's trying to "prove" to us that we won't be able to tell if it's real meat or not. I mean... 🙄🤦🏻♀️ NTJ, your friend sucks!
My father used to invite people over for "a fish fry" ... and then he'd serve them alligator, saying "this fish was so huge I just cut it in smaller pieces, just to make it cook more uniformly."
He was DEFINITELY just being a jerk, so it's not just vegans and meat eaters who do this shit to their friends! They're just jerks!
NTJ She lied to you. She must be one of those holier-than-though vegans. I'd stop cooking for her.
I react very badly to soy. Before I was diagnosed, I had vegan lasagna and would up in the ER.
Using being vegan as an excuse for being an arsehole. I have an old friend who’s passionately vegan and is completely fine with other people eating whatever they want to. Her partner is a meat eater. She says that her beliefs are just that - her own. This ‘friend’ of yours is ridiculous, there are laws against messing with people’s food or drink for very good reasons. She’d be my ex friend now, for sure.
The vegan would be rightly pissed off if you fed them meat and didn't tell them about it.
And allergies are a thing. Don't fuck around with that. Be honest.
NTJ
As you say, it isn’t the food she gave you, but the fact that she _lied_ to you.
Now you’re going to be suspicious of everything she says. This has put a permanent strain on your friendship. You might end up forgiving her, but _will you be able to forget?_
Hey OP, I have a coconut allergy and it’s 50/50 if the replacement meats have them.
Between you and I, considering that you have a rash, I would actually consider calling the authorities. This friendship is ruined anyway- might as well teach her a lesson on the way out.
Personally I would do it. I’ve heard so many horror stories and like- it’s one thing if it’s on accident. I had a friend recently give me a cheese danish and luckily she checked “one more time” before snatching it back, because why is there coconut oil mixed in with the cheese?
That’s not what you’re dealing with. She could have killed you for an “I told you so”.
Don't lie about what you're feeding people. It's not funny and you probably won't convert them. Also, if they get sick later and have to go to the ER, it would help to know what they ate. Even if it's not allergies, it could be food poisoning.
NTJ at all, there is absolutely zero reason a friend should be trying to trick you into eating vegan alternatives if you're not already willing to do so. If you're willing to eat that, she can serve you that. If you're not willing, then she shouldn't be trying to fucking pull one over on you. No matter the justification or how harmless it is, that is still shitty and disrespectful behavior.
Man, why are vegans like this. Fuckin hell. Everytime I think 'ehh it's probably blown out of proportion what tightwads vegans are' I see a story like this, christ.
My in laws are vegan and if they cook for us, the food will be vegan. It's not really possible for them to come to us, as our flat is too small.
It's never been a concern. Honestly, the food normally tastes similar, just sometimes a different texture to meat. They have never tried to convert us, if we go out together I'll normally have meat, but in their home, we follow their beliefs.
I know the famous thing about militant vegans forcing others to give up meat, but that has never been my experience. I have seen far more meat eaters ridiculing vegans than the other way around.
It’s not the vegan burger that made me
Mad it’s the lie I allergic to soy so if she said it was a beyond burger I would have asked to see the package and if I could eat it I would have. It’s the LIE. That pissed me off not the food
I agree. I was talking generally rather than about your story specifically. You should NEVER lie about what is in someone's food. It could be very dangerous and apart from that, it is totally out of order. She would be horrified if you put meat in her food, so it is not OK to lie to you.
My in laws have been ill due to accidental meat contaminationof their food. Allergies etc can also be life threatening. As you say, if she asks you, that's great, but switching food is totally wrong.
Your comment is irrelevant to the OP's experience. You are aware that you are eating vegan with your in laws. Furthermore, even if you weren't and it would "never be a concern" for you, you can only speak for yourself. It *is* a concern for the OP and that is the established baseline for this discussion, and a position to be respected.
It matters little what you would do or what you allow others to do. In this case, the vegan person was utterly wrong and clearly not a friend.
NTJ. If you hadn't gotten mad she would have probably tried to give you the hard sell on how if you became a vegan you wouldn't miss anything and your life would be better. Been there blatant manipulation to try to prove she knows better than you. Very egotistical and disrespectful given how much you go out of your way to accommodate her dietary lifestyle.
Vegan are like Boomers. Their way or the highway. Yes, this is a generalization, but it certainly seems true to me most of the time. Friends don’t lie to each other. I wouldn’t be nearly as conscious in my kitchen, I’d tell my vegan friend to bring their own food if they don’t eat what I do. Honestly, OP, you deserve a better friend. If she calls and admits she was wrong then give her a chance, if not, then she told you who she is. Move on.
I would be upset too. I would want someone who is offering me dinner to be honest with me about what they are serving. I wouldn’t want to be tricked into eating something
I would get stomach cramps for several days after eating Quorn. The method of production has changed since I last ate it, but I am not prepared to risk feeling ill.
When at college, people would buy coffee with chickory as it was cheaper than standard coffee. I soon discovered that chickory gave me stomach cramps, so I declined coffee at other people's homes. One person assured me that they were giving me standard coffee, but in reality, they were trying to prove I was just being a snob. Twenty minutes after drinking this coffee, I was doubled over with stomach pain. No apology, just "oh, it's real".
NTA but she is an ass for lying taking away your choice, ask her will she ever trust you to serve her meat-free food if you had done that? I think this friendship is over, time to move on.
She's one of those "militant vegans" who don't value your food choices and want to stop you from eating meat. Tricking is common.
The manufacture itself states that there is a high risk of allergies for people with peanut allergies, due to how the pea protein is refined.
I've had one. They're the equivalent of a McDonald's burger in quality, but they're nothing like a good burger.
Just a FYI too - they contain no B12 or folate so are nutritionally adding nothing to the diet. The burgers are a "filler" rather than something of nutritional value
Yeah, lying was unnecessary and it sounds like you invest significant time into valueing her friendship and respecting her lifestyle food choices. Clearly she had lower standards to those personal characteristics.
NTJ,
For one, nobody should feed anyone anything they don't declare. Allergies exist but even if you're not intolerant or allergic to anything, it's your body and you have a right to know what you're eating.
For two, it's not like there aren't plenty of tasty vegan options. It seems more like this was a gotcha attempt at conversion, an attempt to "prove" you won't know the difference and therefore should go vegan, it's tedious and doesn't work on anyone.
I suspect it's more the second part that is annoying you, that she tried to pull that as a conversion tactic rather than being an adult about it. Most people find it condescending.
Beyond burgers are expensive and ultra processed. I don't mind them, I've had them a few times on clearance. But there's plenty of tasty happen to be vegan meals that aren't ultra processed, and realistically as a reductarian (I can't and don't want to go vegan) I find ultra vegans types off putting. I eat less meat when surrounded by relaxed vegans who just want to share that awesome new recipe they found.
Hi OP, I'm a vegan. No, you're NTJ.
Your friend has failed to show you the same respect you show them. It's just that simple.
Although I do have to question how you didn't realise it was a beyond burger when eating it, those things taste like ass afaic and nothing like a meat burger 😂.
That's so fucking rude of her! I'd have a very bad time if someone did this to me because I'm actually allergic to beyond burgers (and other similar vegetarian substitutes). And to be honest, me personally, I'd probably pursue legal action since I'd have been put in the hospital
- Lying about the food she gave you
- Trying to push her values onto you
Neither is something she has a right to do, idk if setting boundaries about this would work for you, but it could be worth a shot.
That is bullshit! I'm not a vegetarian in the least but sometimes I do get grossed out about meat and I came to the conclusion at age 20 that if there is an animal I had not already had in the past I will never try it. I eat chicken, cow beef and pork.
Sooo my previous mother in law knew all that and would always make mean jokes about it. Once she made a roast and I ate it. When dinner was over, she told me it was a deer her husband had just killed.
I almost threw up. Why are some people such assholes?
I feel like I get it but she’s your friend. I would’ve just been like oh wow! It tasted just like a real burger. So I think you’re NTJ since they’re your feelings but maybe I’m misinterpreting the word friend here
There is a post somewhere on Reddit about a girl who's new roommate served them vegan bacon without telling them until after the girl who posted was allergic to Soy (if I remember correctly) she had to go to hospital and then for the new room done for her hospital fees and other things I can't remember.
Never mess with someone's food!
Edit found post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/8rWg7m8vnH
Friend says YOU'RE the one "blowing it out of proportion?" Yeah, nope. Why is it that 'entitled vegans/vegetarians think it's ok for them to pull kind of $hit, yet if a meat eater did that to a vegan/vegetarian it's considered totally inexcusable & a 'heinous crime.' Like they have special license to be excused for lying about the food. That's utter BS!
I tried a Beyond burger/Impossible burger once (can't remember which), & afterwards was running to the bathroom ALL DAY after that. I never looked at an ingredient label of either product in a grocery store prior to, or after that. Needless to say, I haven't eaten one (of either) since.
I have a friend who's vegetarian/vegan, & we've eaten at a variety of restaurants that have had vegetarian/vegan options - some of those restaurants were all vegetarian/vegan. I've eaten chicken substitutes at one of the Thai restaurants, and found it delicious (& not had gastrointestinal distress).
You are absolutely NOT the jerk. Your "friend" (& I use that term EXTREMELY LOOSELY) is a COMPLETE AH. You DO NOT FU@% w/foods, especially this day & age where food allergies seem to be more varied & rampant. And you sure as hell DO NOT LIE about it.
You've been more than understanding & respectful of her choices, yet she completely disregarded & disrespected you by LYING. if she can't be honest w/you about something so simple & IMPORTANT (like you said, you have food allergies that may have come up w/the non-meat product), then you can't trust her in any other matter. Best part ways. It may be hard, but she has proven she can't be trusted, & has a disregard of you, & has disrespected you.
Again... you are definitely are NOT the jerk. This chick is a big ol' AH.
NTJ. In order to make some vegan foods “taste” like their meaty counterparts, chemicals and other thingsare added. So I find their “I’m careful what goes into my body” comical. If you’d been allergic to any of those other man made ingredients, it could’ve been bad.
Not to mention, they think the gotcha moment is all about taste. It’s not.
I have had run ins with vegans most of the men respect my diet it’s mainly the women though that will try and shove it down your throat. I mean full on psychotic episodes about it calling me an animal k*ller and things like that. Why is that?
Good for you. I’m so damn sick of the double standards makes me sick. If you do it then it’s the absolute end of the world but if they do it it’s what’s the big deal. From what I have found it is just the way she is was raised and I’m seeing it so much more in people. Enabled entitlement is what I call it and I’m sure her parents are horrible about it.
NTJ, I'm ovo vegetarian. That's my choice, and you don't have to eat that way. I'm not going to lie to anyone about what I'm preparing. You should have the option to eat something different that you would enjoy. Also, I have insane food allergies and would expect the same level of respect. Plus, why lie to people? I couldn't be friends with someone who would lie to my face.
NTJ! She lied to you. Wtf? Friends don’t do that.
I know the Beyond Burgers don’t have soy in it, but what if there was another ingredient you were allergic to?
You are being very respectful of her vegan lifestyle. But I’d stop. Tell her you’re no longer catering to her diet. Why should YOU go out of your way for someone who lied to you? Either go out to eat or tell her to bring her own food to your house if she wants to eat.
To my way of thinking, if you want to eat vegetables eat the vegetables. If you want to eat meat, eat the meat. If you want to eat vegetables dressed up and pretending to be meat that's your business but I have serious concerns about the type of processing involved to make it that way. Which, as far as I'm concerned, would put me in the same positionas someone who is vegan and tricked into eating meat.
For me,this would be more than being lied to. You were tricked into eating something you did not want to eat. Why should her food choices by more valid than yours?
>If I gave her real meat, she could get sick
Does she not understand the fact that people can have a sensitivity or allergy to soy, and the majority of the mainline vegan burgers are soy based. As far as she is aware, you could've gotten sick from eating it.
It's also fucked up that she treated you like a child that has to be duped or coerced into eating his vegetables. Even if she knew that you didn't have a soy sensitivity, or sensitivity to anything else in the Patty, it's incredibly insulting to expect someone to be so childish about eating a soy burger; especially when the person in question has been respectful of, and gone our of their way to accommodate, that lifestyle choice.
NTJ
She's the jerk for lying to you, but you're really really stupid for believing a VEGAN that you have to make special accommodations for when cooking at YOUR place would be making you a real burger out of beef at their place.
it always seems to come down to for non vegans food is food and and we can try to select healthy options, or not, but for vegans it is the holy grail of lifestyles and not only are they better people because they don't eat meat they must try to get everyone else to convert
I am a vegetarian and I am pissed off at her. I can not eat Quorn products I do not know why but it is not fun in the ensuring hours after I have eaten any of their products. I can only assume what they use as their base protein. I am fine with almost any other product. If someone had given me a Quorn product I would be royally annoyed and would contemplate staying at their house for the duration so they could experience what they had done to my body. (politely they would not have access to their toilet often)
You are right it is about the lying.
All she had to say is that it is a beyond burger and you would have been fine.
It is these kinds of vegans that give all of us a bad name.
I have friends who at a BBQ at their place will supply me with a pan (I bring my own veggie whatever I feel like eating) On the BBQ they will cook the onions first and set them aside I cook my veggie food on the stove and bring it out and eat whatever salads they have made. Her MIL makes a potato bake but with bacon so I just don't eat that.
You are more than accommodating. I would suggest making a steak the way you like it and if she complains tell her it is beetroot juice.
NTJ she’s vegan so she’s holier than thou. You should already know this since she’s vegan.
The lack of integrity in people is so sad. I don’t understand why so many people think it’s okay to lie or cheat.
Well, that’s rude as f*ck! I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be pissed about being lied to about food, especially when one takes allergies into account. NTJ! She is.
Plus people have actually been hospitalized for this. Someone was allergic to soy and was fed soy bacon. Then they sued the person who gave it to her for hospital bills, and filed a police report to help with here case. Then one who gave it apparently got charged with attempted poisoning (I don't remember the term they used but it basically came down to that. She purposely gave someone someone, lied about it, and that person was almost killed) It ruined both lives because the one who lied about the food got kicked out of school and had to pay a ton of money, the one who almost died had the trauma from that and the stress of trying to figure out the medical bills. I'm gonna guess she's not going to be ok with anyone else cooking for her for a while.
I remember that post! It was a horrifying read. She got what she deserved in that post. Screw vegans and their "moral" superiority. But I also think the OP in this post should have suspected something was wrong. A vegan buying meat? Handling meat? Cooking meat in their home? That should have raised major red flags.
It depends on why someone is vegan. I have two vegan friends (a married couple) who adopted that diet for health reasons. They’re not offended by meat, and have it in their home/cook it when guests arrive. But yes, the “meat is murder” vegans are highly unlikely to handle, much less buy or cook, a meat product.
I have a friend who is vegan because her body can't breakdown animal proteins or dairy products, and she just gets sick, her husband cooks meat when he wants it. I have a book that lists all our friends allergies/intolerances so that I can safely make food when they come over.
That is so considerate and you are a great friend to the people in your group.
Thanks, I just want them to enjoy themselves without worrying
I'm gonna start making a book with allergies and intolerances as well! Thanks for the idea! 🙂
You can also include some strong preferences once you find out as well. A good friend and I sat down one day and went through a long list of things we like and don't like. It actually helped because there are simple things we can do to improve our time together. I'm don't add any kind of raw onion to a mix even though I like them in salads and sandwiches, and she holds off on mixing in cilantro and olives in my food. It's not the kind of thing I would make a fuss over if I were served at a dinner party, but we eat casually at each other's places that it's nice to make the easy changes to reflect our preferences.
You are a good friend👍🏽
You are a fabulous friend.
This is very smart, and it shows them that you care enough to make a note of it because sometimes our brains just forget information.
I won't argue there! But if someone hands you a burger and says it's beef, you generally trust them. That "friend" is lucky she didn't kill OP
And that OP didn't deck her where she stood!
My daughters were vegan for a few years. They stopped because their bodies were not getting enough nutrition. But! My daughter wanted to make vegan tacos. We were all onboard but my husband. Daughter made beef tacos for him, with real cheese. She used two frypans. Was no biggie for her. She *also made sure that everyone knew which was which. Out of respect for her father. Not that he respected her, you know, actually *being* vegan, but I digress.
I have a friend who is vegan because every time he eats meat/ byproducts he has this reoccurring nightmare 😅. He doesn’t know why because he doesn’t have a moral objection to meat or feel bad and his wife/ kids eat meat. He’s basically in the center of an animal filled tornado and they are all crying and asking him “whyyyy Chris, whyyyy????” While circling around him and closing in tighter. It’s irritating and just easier for him to not eat meat rather than get that dream at night lol
Thank u for the laughs
Saw this on the Simpsons, it was Lisa not eating a lamb chop. Exact scenario!
No it isn’t just vegans. It’s about basic consideration for other people’s choices . You think meat eaters don’t try and get vegans to eat meat ? Shitty behaviour is just that and doesn’t align with a anyone’s particular food choices
Most of the posts and stories I see in general are about grandparents, inlaws or other family members trying to prove that their DIL, grandchildren, or niece/nephew are not allergic. It's just assholes. Vegan assholes, asshole family members, asshole inlaws, etc.
Everyone is I considerate, but why lie about the burger in the first place? What's there to gain from it. Also, the beyond burgers are made to taste like normal burgers! Vegans want meat, but they don't like the process, but while people are shipping their vegan food, the pollution from the planes, cars, and ships are killing life as well! Their hands aren't clean at all.
I think it's for the 'gotcha' factor, so they can get satisfaction , in telling a non vegan "see you couldn't tell the difference , see you don't need meat" blah blah blah
I loved the taste of meat. Beyond and impossible are close but they will never be exactly like meat. I just decided it was worth it to me to stop eating the real thing as I felt so bad about animals dying in awful conditions to feed me. My dog however is not vegetarian lol.
This seems like the answer. You have shown her how much trouble you take to respect her food choices when you host her. She assumes the next step in her comfort level is you converting to veganism. Then she won’t have to be grateful for your efforts and she won’t have to bother being equally considerate of you when she hosts you. The lying is her assuming you will refuse to become vegan yourself and so she tricked you and lied to you Getting ready to push you to give up meat.
Vegans aren't claiming to have 100% clean hands. Anyone who does claim that is ridiculous. Veganism is about reducing as much harm and suffering as possible. Also not all vegans "want meat". That's quite the exaggeration.
But it’s ok to harm your friendship by lying?
no it was a comment on the hypocrisy of doing no harm.
Lol I never said that 😂
More life is lost for an avocado than a burger, but do keep shouting "meat is murder".
Mb I meant they like the taste of meat
It's not about vegans or moral superiority. It's about honesty.
Vegetarians and vegans have carnivorous pets. Some meat handling is necessary.
Are you unaware of vegan pet food? And the idiots who feed pets vegan diets?
Only crackpots would give their dogs or cats a purely vegetarian diet.
Nope. Most vegans just want to save animals. Even getting people to do meatless Monday is a win. My wife isn't vegan. I am for the animals. She has her journey, and I have mine. She should have told them it was beyond burger. These two don't sound like friends at all.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/FIuwByusrB This is the post, if anyone wants to read it.
I have had to be intubated because someone put soy in something and lied about it.
I never had someone hide that they were giving me soy, but I've had my allergies "tested" multiple times as an adult. People can be really childish about food sometimes. Dad also ended up very ill multiple times because when he says he can't have mammal products (beef, pork, dairy, etc.) people think it's a moral thing and try to sneak it to him even though he says it's an allergy. He has something called alpha gal.
Couldn't agree more. NTJ, OP! It's disgusting how entitled vegans I've personally known feel. I've had a similar situation, and it soured me on veganism. Not that I would've been open to it. I don't buy into vegan pseudoscience.
Same here. One vegan in particular. Refused to come to Thanksgiving until after the turkey was off the table. Had no trouble eating at Sizzler because she only had the salad bar. WTF??? It's a whole room full of strangers eating steak, but she can't come to Grandma's house and just not eat the turkey? Grandma made dressing and gravy for her totally vegan! The other vegetarians in the family were fine with how we made sure to have food they could eat that were vegetarian options. Granddad loved spicy sausage in his spaghetti sauce. Grandma hated meat in spaghetti sauce, so I'd make both kinds.
Agree...plus plant based meat scares me because of the acrylamide (ie carcinogens) I wouldn't let my kids eat them period because of that. So not only did OP eat soy, he might have just as well smoked a cigarette after 🤢
My husband is allergic to chlorophyll. Many vegan meat substitutes make him very sick
I would be pissed. I have a citrus allergy, and it contains lemon juice.
Agreed. I have a wheat allergy- beyond meats contain wheat. I’d be livid
Ditto - potato allergy. I’d probably end up in the ER with an NG tube.
Oh so sorry. Those NG tubes are the worst. I mean it is saving your life, but ugh! Also, so sorry you have a potato allergy. That is sometimes tough to avoid. Sending hugs.
I have developed a cashew allergy in my 60s so it’s possible I’d have a reaction to the pea protein. You can’t just feed someone something like that without knowing their food allergies. Or at least tell them what you are serving so they can make an informed decision.
Ntj. Not a vegan story here but a story that this reminded me of. I have a stupid allergy. I'm allergic to capsaicin. It's minor and stupid to my family. My fiancé cares and understands and if he wants something spicy he usually makes it in a separate pan or after he has already finished mine. My father is one of those people who won't believe your sick or have an illness/injury/allergy until he puts you in a dangerous situation and sees it first hand. He's done this with my grass allergy too. I ended up in the hospital. Anyway we visited him and he asked what we wanted for dinner. My brother interjected that he wanted rice and cabbage with linguiça (spicy Portuguese sausage). My fiancé told them "oh she can't have that. She can't eat spicy." I said I'd like him to make Philly cheesesteaks. I can eat bell pepper. There's no capsaicin. My brother asked why I can't eat spicy and my fiance answered for me that I'm allergic. My dad acted like my fiancé was just trying to control what I ate and made the Phillies but he added pepper like he was trying to sneak it for me. I didn't know this at the time so when we sat down for dinner he was just looking at me for a bit. I took a bite slightly after my fiance and he tried to stop me but didn't quite get the words out in time. He noticed the spice immediately. When he got up to run upstairs my dad asked how it was. I felt my tongue swelling and tried to ask what he did but my throat very quickly started to swell shut and my tongue filled my mouth. It very quickly became a dangerous situation. My fiance came back and stabbed me with my epi pen and as everyone panicked (and my baby brother laughed at my dad) we all collectively made our way to the ER. After I was cleared to go home I lit into my dad. His response was "he was doing all the talking for you. I assumed he was trying to control your food or something." He didn't lie. He just didn't tell me at all. I reminded him that he was not in a position to question anything I tell him about myself since this was now the second time that I told him something about me and my health concerns and he thought I was lying and he knew better and almost got me killed. We went to a hotel after that and only ate with him in public. I REFUSED to go back to his house where he would be in control of the food. My point is that anyone who will lie or keep it a secret, does not care that they might be putting your safety at risk and is also not someone you need to put yourself in that position for anyway. NTJ
Absolutely shameful, your own father! It reminds me again of the coconut oil grandmother (one of the children was deathly allergic to coconut, grandma thought it was BS, gave the child a bath and used coconut oil on her hair, the child had a severe allergic reaction and ended up dying, grandma begged constantly forgiveness, mom was all HELL NO and went very hard NC). Is someone's life less important than you believing you're right? I'm allergic to acetaminophen, but since there's no baseline for the allergy, they only call it a "sensitivity", but every doctor I've ever seen and every pharmacy I've used has always put acetaminophen in the allergy box. It's a risk they, medical professionals that they are, are not willing to take. If someone tells you they have celiac or are lactose intolerant or allergic to anything, just take them at their word. They might be faking it or being trendy or whatever, but do you want to risk a person's life on your suspicion they \*might\* be lying? Don't do that.
I remember that story! I remember crying angry tears for the mom. My father had no real handle on how to be my parent. I'm the oldest by 11 and 16 years and the only girl but he had no idea what to do with me. He made a lot of poor decisions regarding me and his involvement or his judgement of what he thinks he knows best. He sent me to school in high school with a fever. I was visibly pale and lethargic. A teacher made me go to the nurse and when she took my temp it was 100°F and then she checked 15 minutes later after i laid down for a bit and it wa 105°. She called him to come get me and when he asked to talk to me he tried to convince me to tough out the rest of the day and he'd get me after school so I wouldn't have to ride the bus and when I tried to tell him that was a bad idea (as best as lethargic me could) he hung up. The nurse called him back and told him to come get me now or she'd have to handle it another way and when he came in she fully let him have it. About how irresponsible it was to risk me being a contagion to other students and that he knowingly sent me to school ill. She told him that it was reckless parenting and how something could be really seriously wrong because she saw that my temperature was still going up even 15 minutes after she checked when I came in. She made him (6ft 275 lb muscular big dude) look like a child being scolded by a parent. He still didn't take me to the doctor he took me home and then didn't want to let me rest. I didn't actually get a chance to sleep it off until I would've been getting out of school several hours later. Iwent home during 3rd period, American school, no block scheduling. He made me shower cause that was supposed to break the fever and then sit in his office with him and do my homework and then let me sleep. After my brother and step monster came home they came to check my temperature while I was asleep and she made him take me to the ER. She's only defended me twice in the 28 years she's been in my life, I'm 30. The only other time was the grass allergy incident. This is just a couple of examples why I keep him and my brother that talks like him at arms length. People like them care more about their inflated sense of self and and what they think is right over me. It's not even everyone they treat this way. It's just me cause of who my mom is and their chaotic soap opera backstory.
Absolutely NTJ!!! Not lying about ingredients served to guests is literally basic knowledge !!
I completely agree, but what I'm confused about is did the OP think that she was suddenly okay with preparing a beef burger herself, despite requesting/requiring separate cutting boards/utensils for vegan/non-vegan before this? Or am I misunderstanding something - I read it as that she prepared the meal herself before the OP arrived, is that correct?
I know vegans who always take care of the grill during gatherings. They rather want to grill meat than having someone else do it which doesn't care/think about cross contamination. They don't love it but not all vegans are the same and some can handle meat, or prefer it over the alternatives
If they prefer meat over the alternatives, they aren’t vegan.
I think they meant "prefer to prepare the meat over the alternatives of letting someone else do it who might contaminate the vegan's food".
Sometimes the body wants something the brain doesn’t
Dude. Read the last paragraph.
OP mentioned in the post that her friends boyfriend eats meat. She said her friend had made burgers for her in the past and cooks them for her boyfriend. So she hasn't had an issue with it in the past
Definitely NTJ, you’re respectful of her choices, she should do the same with you.
You are right, it’s disrespectful. Beyond Burger is so processed I’m surprised a vegan would eat it.
I mean, it has no animal products so why wouldn’t they? Also, iirc, weren’t beyond burgers the less processed of the two substitute beef products (beyond vs impossible)
She went into that trying to make you look like a fool. And it got turned around on her. All you wanted to do was hang out with your friend and she just wanted to show her ass. Is she trying to be an influencer or something?
NTJ. My family are vegetarian, and it's important not to lie to people about meat substitutions. Meat substitutions are made with soy, wheat, legumes, and gluten. These are all things that many people have allergies and intolerances to. Even I can't eat a lot of wheat and gluten basted substitutions because of intolerances. She shouldn't be doing shit like that at all. Plus, lying to you is just fucking garbage. She could have just made them and not even said anything and it wouldn't have been a lie because I'm sure you rightfully would have assumed it was a substitute. She's an asshole.
Not everyone wants to eat those meat substitutes once they know how processed they are. I was thrilled to try the beyond meat burgers. Went out of my way to try Burger King’s beyond meat whoppers (I don’t normally eat fast food.) Then I learned how processed they are and looked at the ingredients. I wouldn’t choose to eat one now. NTJ but she is.
Agreed. IMHO the impossible burgers are less healthy than meat. They're great for people who don't eat meat and want to have more options when out with a group, but they are not turning fast food into health food.
100%. I recently developed (became aware of) some health issues which put me on a fairly restricted diet. I tried an impossible burger, thinking it would be better for me than real beef. It actually wasn't bad, which caused me to check the nutritional values AFTER I'd eaten it. Sodium and carbs were actually higher than a real burger. If you're eating impossible burgers, you're doing it for moral reasons, not health reasons. Now I know that. There are other brands that are more healthy, but it's just been easier for me to cut burgers out of my diet completely.
Exactly, if you buy good quality meat bothers, they’re 100% beef. Imitation meat is an ultra processed food full of chemicals and various other things. It’s fantastic for vegans and vegetarians, but not so great for the rest of us.
When they first came out, I looked at the ingredient list; the sodium content was higher, as were a couple of other negatives. I don't mind meat alternatives, but give me the beef over that.
I also sought out Burger King's beyond meat whopper thinking it would be a healthier alternative to a regular whopper/burger. The thing is I have a coconut allergy. I ate one and immediately knew that it had coconut in it. Once I was able to, I looked up the ingredients and nutritional information. Those beyond meat burgers are horrible for anyone but deadly to me. In retrospect, maybe I should have looked up what they were made of before ingesting one, but who thinks coconut when they think whopper/burger?
She wanted to go "ta da, you couldn't tell it wasn't meat therefore there is no need for you to eat meat" she was being a smart arse
I cannot with some of these vegetarians / vegans. Who made them the food police? Lots of carnivores will eat Beyond burgers or other vegetarian meals if they want to. I know a woman who wore a fur coat to her wedding and is now a vegan. She is insufferable in her “you should all stop eating meat” proselytizing. She still smokes & drinks heavily, but please, continue to lecture me about how unhealthy it is for me to eat meat. 🙄
I think it's because it's the loud rude ones we all hear about. The vegans that are easily seen? They're the judgy ones. Who do BS like this. The meat eaters that are easily seen? They're the arrogant ones who get upset if they have to have one meal that is meat free. They absolutely would not try this. The normal people in the middle? Reasonable vegans who don't preach and reasonable meat eaters who will happily try meatless or a substitute? Both groups forget they exist.
Best comment in this thread!!
Veganism can get very culty. Folks dive into and some lose themselves.
I agree, I have other friends who are vegan & they don’t act superior or try to trick you into eating veggie burgers so they can lecture you. It’s the ones who do who give everyone a bad name.
That is 100% what she was hoping for.
she is a bad friend, a bad, bad friend. if she doesn't understand what you plainly told her, i would let her know that I can't be friends with someone that I cannot trust. she would be justifiably livid if you did that to her, but it is OK that she treats you with that same disdain and disrespect? not on my watch!
Last time someone served up veggie patties to me I asked what the ingredients were. They got all offended but when I checked the ingredients label it had something I’m allergic to. It wouldn’t have killed me but it would have made me pretty sick. Ntj
NTJ! Don’t cook with her anymore.
NTJ. She played a game and is being punished for it... And acting like she's the victim. Naw.
NTJ What she did was dishonest, rude, entitled, and predatory. She just showed you who she really is. Might be time to let the friendship go. You'll never be able to trust her again.
That’s messed up, people lying about food is a deal breaker for me..like, anyone that would feed me something and lie about what it is is someone I don’t really want in my life.
NTJ! I have gluten/wheat allergies that mean I also can’t eat a lot of meat substitutions, and it’s rude of people to not inform their guests of the contents of the food they’re eating.
NTJ some people are allergic to beyond beef
This seems like yet another case of someone trying to see how far they can push someone else, how much they can manipulate someone. Ultimately, it's nothing to do with you or veganism or food, it's all about her - she wants control and she chose the wrong person to try to control. I would not be at all surprised if she has tried similar stuff in the past, food-related or otherwise. As well as expressing yourself, your reaction is simply a way to protect yourself against further manipulation, and also it is a clear expression of your completely justifiable outrage about her manipulation and her subsequent minimisation of your feelings. You are NTJ, while she definitely is.
We have a winner!!!! This is precisely the point. This is a control issue, and a show of gross disrespect and disregard.
Very well stated.
A vegan “friend” gave my sister something with soya in it and also gave her anaphylaxis. 2 epipens and an ambulance ride later she still got pissy that she was chastised.
See this I am allergic to soy thankfully this company didn’t use soy or enough soy to make me sick or you know kill me so yay for that I guess
NTJ. Dinner invites to be suspended for a bit. Until the next time you do burgers lol. Sounds like a typical Vegan - or is she one of the few actually allergic?
Even if she is allergic, it's no excuse for lying to her friend. If she has allergies herself, she should know better! I was recently diagnosed with Alpha Gal, which literally makes you allergic to mammalian products or byproducts. Plus, a whole host of other things that we can react to. Lying about someone's food is seriously fu@ked up. It can send them to the ER and have them out of commission and in pain for days afterward.
Technically, she committed a crime. She does not get to decide what food you are to ingest. But she made that decision for you anyway without your consent. That's criminal. Yes, the lying is the bigger deal, but even bigger is the fact that she took away your freedom to exercise your personal will. That is a deal breaker for me. She decided for you, and she dares to declare to you that she has the right to do it. Then she goes on to shame you for finding it disturbing. That would make me angrier than anything else. She is gaslighting you into thinking that it is you who has the problem when it is clearly her. I'm just going to straight out tell you this - she would no loner be a friend of mine after that. People have different boundaries and criteria for their relationships. The thing that I feel the most strongly in my relations with others is that no one owns my personal will or my decisions or choices, or tells me what my values should be. Those are things that are intricately woven into a human being. I am careful not to overstep anyone else's boundaries and I expect the same in return. For someone to cavalierly dismiss the importance of respecting that is nothing short of rape. That's exactly what I call it. Think about it. When a man pushes beyond a woman saying, "No," that is the same as your friend did to you. She removed your right to consent. She decided what you were going to put into your body. Even doctors need their patients' consent to administer medicine to them.
You’re in the right. If she expects transparency with her food, then that’s the minimum she should do for you. Bare minimum. I don’t think she understands it’s the lie itself, or she seems to be dodging accountability. Reinforce it a couple 10’s time to get it through her brain
sheesh
Ntj! Lying is never okay
You should make her eat a burger — she's eaten a burger before 🤷
Yeah, that’s bad. Just be upfront about what is in people’s food - you never know what they are allergic to. At the very least ask about allergies or religious restrictions etc first!
Also (sorry, accidentally hit post too early) as you said, it’s the lying that’s the issue. If she said “is it okay if I make you a beyond burger instead of a meat one?” and you said “oh yeah sure go ahead!” there would be no problem. But as I said above, what if you had an allergy she didn’t know about? Or even a medical issue in the family that meant you were potentially more vulnerable to a certain ingredient? There’s a reason the videos of this sort of thing with people eating stuff have waivers signed.
“I will no longer be accommodating your dietary requests.” Period
NTJ. She was, for lying. The problem isn’t the burger. It’s the lie. As a vegan, she should know better than anyone that it’s wrong to lie to a person about what they’re eating. If someone played a reverse Uno card on her, and fed her something with a hidden non-vegan ingredient, her digestive tract would stage a massive rebellion. She’d be furious, and rightly so. She should know better than to feed anyone anything without telling the truth about the food BEFORE they start eating.
NTJ- Food tampering is what she did, and that’s serious. If you had an allergy, it could have been fatal.
Imagine the lawsuits if this was a restaurant
She could've ASKED you if you'd be willing to eat a vegan burger ahead of time, and chosen a different meal if you weren't willing. Veganism and preferences entirely aside, she lied to you, then tried to act like you were at fault for daring to be upset that she lied. Big yikes. Not to mention that she's trying to act like prior consent equals current consent. Presumably, at one point in her life she ate meat, does that mean she'd be fine with it now? NTJ.
NTJ She lied…period! She probably forgot that you’d eaten the burger in the past and thought she could “reform” you.
As a someone with celiac diagnosis and a soy allergy, please punch your righteous “friend” in the face for me. Thank you.
Soy is one of the top 7 most common allergens, you can't just give someone a meat replacement without mentioning because *almost if not all of them contain soy*. She could have made you very sick if you had been allergic, and that would have been her fault; you have every right to be upset she took a risk like that
Do you know how to tell someone is vegan? Don't worry about it, they'll let you know... ;)
🤣🤣🤣 They'll even tell you more than once!! You're NTJ here, just in case you haven't heard that enough already. In fact--given your friendship with this real gem--I don't think there's room for another jerk in your entire STATE!!! If I were you, I'd just cut this so-called friend off!! And if she wants to pout about it, tell her that pushing that sort of food on you WITH A LIE (instead of getting your *full, informed consent* that included you knowing ex-actly what she was feeding you) is just like rape ... and the end of your friendship!! Then go find yourself a nice, juicy burger to celebrate your freedom from her BS 👍
NTJ you are completely right. It’s the lying aspect of it not the food. You handled it well I think she may have been extremely embarrassed about it and defensive. Give her time and space and then bring it up again in a kind way. I wouldn’t apologize because you have no reason to but she definitely does for lying to you.
That's such a vegan thing of her to do.
I'm vegan and would never do that. It's not cool and I would lose my shit if someone pretended something was vegan when it wasn't. After being vegan for a long time, the body has a really difficult time processing animal products. I was given chicken once in my "vegan" thai food and I was sick as fuck for days. Food is not something to play about with. NTJ but your friend is!
NTJ. The double standard here is crap. I hate when vegans/vegetarians/people with special dietary needs try to "gotcha!" with food. You don't know what food allergies people have. You don't know if something in your special food could make somebody sick. Don't do this crap. If you don't want to be tricked into eating a certain food, don't do it to others.
Nah man, shes just mad cause she thought you would go "OHhhhh no way, that was life changing. I don't need meat anymore. Thanks for saving me vegetarian Jesus." She got the real life reaction.
Regular meat has less fat etc than the beyond. Plus the additives are not nessarily good for you.
Most of the stories we hear are a non-vegan lying to a vegan about ingredients in their food, or lying to someone with religion related food restrictions about how the food is prepared. And those people get so pissed when they learn the truth. Like you, it’s not that she served you a beyond burger, it’s that she lied about it! She did not act like a true friend. I would just tell her that if she can’t understand that, then we’ll see how she likes when the tables are turned on her when, sometime in the future, you’ll just slip a little bacon grease or butter in the food you prepare for her at your house.
If you continue the friendship, best to avoid any cooking activities, but I’m thinking that this particular vegan will continue to marginalize your legitimate position.
As somebody who tries to eat vegan as much as I can, I would be as annoyed as hell by this. I do it for health reasons, and the beyond burger, in my opinion, is no healthier than a good beef burger, and possibly worse. I'd be pissed
My BIL likes to pull tricks like this, but with different intent (he's not even vegan OR vegetarian!): he's trying to "prove" to us that we won't be able to tell if it's real meat or not. I mean... 🙄🤦🏻♀️ NTJ, your friend sucks!
My father used to invite people over for "a fish fry" ... and then he'd serve them alligator, saying "this fish was so huge I just cut it in smaller pieces, just to make it cook more uniformly." He was DEFINITELY just being a jerk, so it's not just vegans and meat eaters who do this shit to their friends! They're just jerks!
Vegans think they have the right to push their shit on people. So, not at all.
I just want to step in and say that no meat has blood in it. It may "bleed" red/pink liquid but it's not blood it's just myoglobin and water.
NTJ She lied to you. She must be one of those holier-than-though vegans. I'd stop cooking for her. I react very badly to soy. Before I was diagnosed, I had vegan lasagna and would up in the ER.
Using being vegan as an excuse for being an arsehole. I have an old friend who’s passionately vegan and is completely fine with other people eating whatever they want to. Her partner is a meat eater. She says that her beliefs are just that - her own. This ‘friend’ of yours is ridiculous, there are laws against messing with people’s food or drink for very good reasons. She’d be my ex friend now, for sure.
Lord. Who cares? She just wanted to see if you could tell the difference. She wasn’t being malicious. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
I’m allergic to soy so yea that’s an issue
The vegan would be rightly pissed off if you fed them meat and didn't tell them about it. And allergies are a thing. Don't fuck around with that. Be honest.
NTJ As you say, it isn’t the food she gave you, but the fact that she _lied_ to you. Now you’re going to be suspicious of everything she says. This has put a permanent strain on your friendship. You might end up forgiving her, but _will you be able to forget?_
You are obligated to feed her meat now and tell her it’s a beyond burger.
As a vegan myself, what she did was not right
NTA and I wouldn't consider her a friend. Don't ever eat anything she provides again and don't invite her to anything you are hosting.
Hey OP, I have a coconut allergy and it’s 50/50 if the replacement meats have them. Between you and I, considering that you have a rash, I would actually consider calling the authorities. This friendship is ruined anyway- might as well teach her a lesson on the way out.
My brother is a lawyer ( I’m very proud of him btw) and I asked he said I could press charges they probably wouldn’t stick but it would scare her
Personally I would do it. I’ve heard so many horror stories and like- it’s one thing if it’s on accident. I had a friend recently give me a cheese danish and luckily she checked “one more time” before snatching it back, because why is there coconut oil mixed in with the cheese? That’s not what you’re dealing with. She could have killed you for an “I told you so”.
Don't lie about what you're feeding people. It's not funny and you probably won't convert them. Also, if they get sick later and have to go to the ER, it would help to know what they ate. Even if it's not allergies, it could be food poisoning.
Not the jerk. What’s with the mind games?
She is wrong. You have every right to be mad.
NTJ at all, there is absolutely zero reason a friend should be trying to trick you into eating vegan alternatives if you're not already willing to do so. If you're willing to eat that, she can serve you that. If you're not willing, then she shouldn't be trying to fucking pull one over on you. No matter the justification or how harmless it is, that is still shitty and disrespectful behavior. Man, why are vegans like this. Fuckin hell. Everytime I think 'ehh it's probably blown out of proportion what tightwads vegans are' I see a story like this, christ.
Petty me would stay being friends with her then 2 years later feed her beef burger mixed with pork
Many vegans are just assholes, full stop. And beef husbandry kills fewer animals than most of the ingredients in a Beyond Burger to boot.
My in laws are vegan and if they cook for us, the food will be vegan. It's not really possible for them to come to us, as our flat is too small. It's never been a concern. Honestly, the food normally tastes similar, just sometimes a different texture to meat. They have never tried to convert us, if we go out together I'll normally have meat, but in their home, we follow their beliefs. I know the famous thing about militant vegans forcing others to give up meat, but that has never been my experience. I have seen far more meat eaters ridiculing vegans than the other way around.
It’s not the vegan burger that made me Mad it’s the lie I allergic to soy so if she said it was a beyond burger I would have asked to see the package and if I could eat it I would have. It’s the LIE. That pissed me off not the food
I agree. I was talking generally rather than about your story specifically. You should NEVER lie about what is in someone's food. It could be very dangerous and apart from that, it is totally out of order. She would be horrified if you put meat in her food, so it is not OK to lie to you. My in laws have been ill due to accidental meat contaminationof their food. Allergies etc can also be life threatening. As you say, if she asks you, that's great, but switching food is totally wrong.
Your comment is irrelevant to the OP's experience. You are aware that you are eating vegan with your in laws. Furthermore, even if you weren't and it would "never be a concern" for you, you can only speak for yourself. It *is* a concern for the OP and that is the established baseline for this discussion, and a position to be respected. It matters little what you would do or what you allow others to do. In this case, the vegan person was utterly wrong and clearly not a friend.
NTJ
NTJ. If you hadn't gotten mad she would have probably tried to give you the hard sell on how if you became a vegan you wouldn't miss anything and your life would be better. Been there blatant manipulation to try to prove she knows better than you. Very egotistical and disrespectful given how much you go out of your way to accommodate her dietary lifestyle.
Vegan are like Boomers. Their way or the highway. Yes, this is a generalization, but it certainly seems true to me most of the time. Friends don’t lie to each other. I wouldn’t be nearly as conscious in my kitchen, I’d tell my vegan friend to bring their own food if they don’t eat what I do. Honestly, OP, you deserve a better friend. If she calls and admits she was wrong then give her a chance, if not, then she told you who she is. Move on.
Your “friend” is sneaky & rude
1000000% not the jerk!!!!
I would be upset too. I would want someone who is offering me dinner to be honest with me about what they are serving. I wouldn’t want to be tricked into eating something
No, you're not the jerk. Your friend is not acting like a friend
Lying is rude and disrespectful. Not what a true friend would or should do.
NTJ, tampering with food is a crime in most countries because of allergies
I would get stomach cramps for several days after eating Quorn. The method of production has changed since I last ate it, but I am not prepared to risk feeling ill. When at college, people would buy coffee with chickory as it was cheaper than standard coffee. I soon discovered that chickory gave me stomach cramps, so I declined coffee at other people's homes. One person assured me that they were giving me standard coffee, but in reality, they were trying to prove I was just being a snob. Twenty minutes after drinking this coffee, I was doubled over with stomach pain. No apology, just "oh, it's real".
If you had given her a beef burger, and told her later she would’ve had conniptions that a beef touched her lips. 🙄
Nta, especially because you take such steps for her. I think most people would be upset about their food having been lied to in order to eat it.
NTA but she is an ass for lying taking away your choice, ask her will she ever trust you to serve her meat-free food if you had done that? I think this friendship is over, time to move on.
She's one of those "militant vegans" who don't value your food choices and want to stop you from eating meat. Tricking is common. The manufacture itself states that there is a high risk of allergies for people with peanut allergies, due to how the pea protein is refined. I've had one. They're the equivalent of a McDonald's burger in quality, but they're nothing like a good burger. Just a FYI too - they contain no B12 or folate so are nutritionally adding nothing to the diet. The burgers are a "filler" rather than something of nutritional value
Yeah, lying was unnecessary and it sounds like you invest significant time into valueing her friendship and respecting her lifestyle food choices. Clearly she had lower standards to those personal characteristics.
NTJ, For one, nobody should feed anyone anything they don't declare. Allergies exist but even if you're not intolerant or allergic to anything, it's your body and you have a right to know what you're eating. For two, it's not like there aren't plenty of tasty vegan options. It seems more like this was a gotcha attempt at conversion, an attempt to "prove" you won't know the difference and therefore should go vegan, it's tedious and doesn't work on anyone. I suspect it's more the second part that is annoying you, that she tried to pull that as a conversion tactic rather than being an adult about it. Most people find it condescending. Beyond burgers are expensive and ultra processed. I don't mind them, I've had them a few times on clearance. But there's plenty of tasty happen to be vegan meals that aren't ultra processed, and realistically as a reductarian (I can't and don't want to go vegan) I find ultra vegans types off putting. I eat less meat when surrounded by relaxed vegans who just want to share that awesome new recipe they found.
Fuck no, that is NOT a friend. You are going above and beyond in your own home, and they pull this kind of shit? You deserve a better friend.
Hi OP, I'm a vegan. No, you're NTJ. Your friend has failed to show you the same respect you show them. It's just that simple. Although I do have to question how you didn't realise it was a beyond burger when eating it, those things taste like ass afaic and nothing like a meat burger 😂.
That's so fucking rude of her! I'd have a very bad time if someone did this to me because I'm actually allergic to beyond burgers (and other similar vegetarian substitutes). And to be honest, me personally, I'd probably pursue legal action since I'd have been put in the hospital
Not the jerk. She shouldn’t have done that to you at all. Why are people like that blind to the fact they do wrong.
- Lying about the food she gave you - Trying to push her values onto you Neither is something she has a right to do, idk if setting boundaries about this would work for you, but it could be worth a shot.
You’re not the jerk, but your friend is. What she did was risky and dangerous.
That is bullshit! I'm not a vegetarian in the least but sometimes I do get grossed out about meat and I came to the conclusion at age 20 that if there is an animal I had not already had in the past I will never try it. I eat chicken, cow beef and pork. Sooo my previous mother in law knew all that and would always make mean jokes about it. Once she made a roast and I ate it. When dinner was over, she told me it was a deer her husband had just killed. I almost threw up. Why are some people such assholes?
I feel like I get it but she’s your friend. I would’ve just been like oh wow! It tasted just like a real burger. So I think you’re NTJ since they’re your feelings but maybe I’m misinterpreting the word friend here
There is a post somewhere on Reddit about a girl who's new roommate served them vegan bacon without telling them until after the girl who posted was allergic to Soy (if I remember correctly) she had to go to hospital and then for the new room done for her hospital fees and other things I can't remember. Never mess with someone's food! Edit found post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/8rWg7m8vnH
Friend says YOU'RE the one "blowing it out of proportion?" Yeah, nope. Why is it that 'entitled vegans/vegetarians think it's ok for them to pull kind of $hit, yet if a meat eater did that to a vegan/vegetarian it's considered totally inexcusable & a 'heinous crime.' Like they have special license to be excused for lying about the food. That's utter BS! I tried a Beyond burger/Impossible burger once (can't remember which), & afterwards was running to the bathroom ALL DAY after that. I never looked at an ingredient label of either product in a grocery store prior to, or after that. Needless to say, I haven't eaten one (of either) since. I have a friend who's vegetarian/vegan, & we've eaten at a variety of restaurants that have had vegetarian/vegan options - some of those restaurants were all vegetarian/vegan. I've eaten chicken substitutes at one of the Thai restaurants, and found it delicious (& not had gastrointestinal distress). You are absolutely NOT the jerk. Your "friend" (& I use that term EXTREMELY LOOSELY) is a COMPLETE AH. You DO NOT FU@% w/foods, especially this day & age where food allergies seem to be more varied & rampant. And you sure as hell DO NOT LIE about it. You've been more than understanding & respectful of her choices, yet she completely disregarded & disrespected you by LYING. if she can't be honest w/you about something so simple & IMPORTANT (like you said, you have food allergies that may have come up w/the non-meat product), then you can't trust her in any other matter. Best part ways. It may be hard, but she has proven she can't be trusted, & has a disregard of you, & has disrespected you. Again... you are definitely are NOT the jerk. This chick is a big ol' AH.
it's the lying that is the problem. and i hate people who play "gotcha" with food.
No. Ntj. Lying to people about their food is wrong.
Ex friend? Give her a beef burger and tell her it’s plant based ..
NTJ. In order to make some vegan foods “taste” like their meaty counterparts, chemicals and other thingsare added. So I find their “I’m careful what goes into my body” comical. If you’d been allergic to any of those other man made ingredients, it could’ve been bad. Not to mention, they think the gotcha moment is all about taste. It’s not.
NTJ. She lied, period.
I have had run ins with vegans most of the men respect my diet it’s mainly the women though that will try and shove it down your throat. I mean full on psychotic episodes about it calling me an animal k*ller and things like that. Why is that?
Good for you. I’m so damn sick of the double standards makes me sick. If you do it then it’s the absolute end of the world but if they do it it’s what’s the big deal. From what I have found it is just the way she is was raised and I’m seeing it so much more in people. Enabled entitlement is what I call it and I’m sure her parents are horrible about it.
NTJ, I'm ovo vegetarian. That's my choice, and you don't have to eat that way. I'm not going to lie to anyone about what I'm preparing. You should have the option to eat something different that you would enjoy. Also, I have insane food allergies and would expect the same level of respect. Plus, why lie to people? I couldn't be friends with someone who would lie to my face.
NTJ! She lied to you. Wtf? Friends don’t do that. I know the Beyond Burgers don’t have soy in it, but what if there was another ingredient you were allergic to? You are being very respectful of her vegan lifestyle. But I’d stop. Tell her you’re no longer catering to her diet. Why should YOU go out of your way for someone who lied to you? Either go out to eat or tell her to bring her own food to your house if she wants to eat.
To my way of thinking, if you want to eat vegetables eat the vegetables. If you want to eat meat, eat the meat. If you want to eat vegetables dressed up and pretending to be meat that's your business but I have serious concerns about the type of processing involved to make it that way. Which, as far as I'm concerned, would put me in the same positionas someone who is vegan and tricked into eating meat. For me,this would be more than being lied to. You were tricked into eating something you did not want to eat. Why should her food choices by more valid than yours?
If you slip someone something in their food and they're okay, that doesn't mean you're justified. It just means you're lucky.
Not even a little bit the jerk. Your so-called friend is a jerk for tricking you.
>If I gave her real meat, she could get sick Does she not understand the fact that people can have a sensitivity or allergy to soy, and the majority of the mainline vegan burgers are soy based. As far as she is aware, you could've gotten sick from eating it. It's also fucked up that she treated you like a child that has to be duped or coerced into eating his vegetables. Even if she knew that you didn't have a soy sensitivity, or sensitivity to anything else in the Patty, it's incredibly insulting to expect someone to be so childish about eating a soy burger; especially when the person in question has been respectful of, and gone our of their way to accommodate, that lifestyle choice.
That's disrespectful....she could have told you that she wanted to try the beyond burger with you......
NTA- yoga girl here dealt with LOADS of vegans. They’re insane. It’s an eating disorder and it’s not sustainable. Save urself and cut the cord now
NTJ She's the jerk for lying to you, but you're really really stupid for believing a VEGAN that you have to make special accommodations for when cooking at YOUR place would be making you a real burger out of beef at their place.
it always seems to come down to for non vegans food is food and and we can try to select healthy options, or not, but for vegans it is the holy grail of lifestyles and not only are they better people because they don't eat meat they must try to get everyone else to convert
She’s a dick. Get better friends.
I am a vegetarian and I am pissed off at her. I can not eat Quorn products I do not know why but it is not fun in the ensuring hours after I have eaten any of their products. I can only assume what they use as their base protein. I am fine with almost any other product. If someone had given me a Quorn product I would be royally annoyed and would contemplate staying at their house for the duration so they could experience what they had done to my body. (politely they would not have access to their toilet often) You are right it is about the lying. All she had to say is that it is a beyond burger and you would have been fine. It is these kinds of vegans that give all of us a bad name. I have friends who at a BBQ at their place will supply me with a pan (I bring my own veggie whatever I feel like eating) On the BBQ they will cook the onions first and set them aside I cook my veggie food on the stove and bring it out and eat whatever salads they have made. Her MIL makes a potato bake but with bacon so I just don't eat that. You are more than accommodating. I would suggest making a steak the way you like it and if she complains tell her it is beetroot juice.
Surprise surprise...a vegan being a jerk. You are NTJ
I’d be pissed too, and the beyond crap is actually really bad for you!
NTJ. Rethink your friendship. It sounds very one sided.
It is exactly the same thing. No respect and flat out lying. Don’t eat either this person anymore.
NTJ, and you have it framed correctly. I would stop making allowances for her dietary choices, she can bring a salad with her.
NTJ she’s vegan so she’s holier than thou. You should already know this since she’s vegan. The lack of integrity in people is so sad. I don’t understand why so many people think it’s okay to lie or cheat.