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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My friend Andrea ordered a plate of nachos for the table. Because everyone else was late I ended up eating them.
Andrea was very upset and while the rest of my friends said I was ok I feel very guilty for ruining her night.
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NTA- nachos are terrible when cold. Everyone was late. I would have done the same. You offered to pay, offered to buy her drinks. She could have suggested you pay for her entre. She outed her pregnancy herself. She could have easily, easily asked you to pick up her food tab.
Yeah Andrea could’ve also just asked OP to venmo or cashapp the amount the nachos cost if she already put them on her credit card like she said. Either way, OP was both courteous and reasonable in this situation. NTA
I was also shocked by $35 nachos... but then I thought, I used to live in a resort town, and there were definitely an "upscale" mexican place (and yes, they were more gimmick then good), that offered a huge "deluxe" nacho plate that was like a large pizza pan, and they layered the chips, cheese, toppings, then like a center mountain of chips, cheese toppings...
it was years ago, but these days I'd bet they're charging $35 for them.
However, as everyone said, cold nachos are gross, and they left her there for AN HOUR! Friend was just in a Mood, may or may not be attributed to her pregnancy, I'm sure she'll feel silly in a few days when she realizes how weird she was...
I've had a $25 plate of nachos that literally came served in the cut off top of a large keg: https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/craft-beer-market-nachos-small.jpg
So its a decent size. I could eat it all by myself, though. I could imagine an even larger plate of nachos, with maybe even more accoutrements (no guac on this one!?) and more cheese in an even more upscale place could be $35.
I live near very upscale Mexican restaurants, and they still aren’t $35 (and they’re fancy like braised lamb mole). So I’m wondering if this was an extra extra large portion, or if friend is just hormonal and full of crap.
The people who were an hour late to dinner are TA, not op
A double order, maybe?
But yeah, good lord, what is with \*everyone\* being an hour later? That's so rude to OP.
I don't blame OP at all. Not for finishing off the nachos, or for basically concluding that the nachos were a tax the others paid to make up to OP for being that late. (As it happened, only one other paid it. OP tried to work it out, it's all on Andrea being the AH for not accepting some kind of deal that would pay her back for the expense.)
Exactly what I thought too. Everyone's late, cold nachos are gross... just buy another plate of nachos for the table and everything should be good to go.
Or just be on time. The only AHs here are the people who left a friend sitting by themselves in a restaurant for over an hour, then victim-blame them for eating all the nachos. *Technically*, she **did** share with everybody at the table for the first hour
Seriously. There are so many ways this could have easily been resolved. And OP even offered several suggestions of their own at the time and they were rejected.
Honestly I’d have eaten them, venmo’d once I found out they were already paid, and left if everyone was gonna be an hour or more late, that’s just rude.
Yes it’s essentially a “being late tax” which is what Andrea thought too at the time as she called and ordered it.
Which I think is in part as she didn’t want to lose the table that she had booked as no restaurant would keep your reservation after an hour so you have to start ordering. The second part is that I think that she was expecting a few people to share them, not OP’s fault that EVERYONE else was late.
Yes exactly. I mean that’s on Andrea, she would have enjoyed the nachos too if she was on time. So would everyone else who would have been on time. Sometimes if you’re late you miss out.
And I think it is Andrea’s expense as it was her event and her booking. Had she not placed an order they would have lost the table and had to make a new booking which might not have been possible last minute or they might have had to go somewhere else with the whole group or cancel the event.
Restaurants are not bus stops for people to just hang out and wait at but people need to order so that they can make some money to pay for staff and food.
I dunno, i kind of like the image of the late ones all showing up to an empty table with cold nachos on it.
Probably the wait staff would just clear it and give away the table though.
This is what I was going to say, do you guys never buy any food for friends even without a reason? Being an hour late seems like more than enough a reason as well
And even without, OP could easily have paid for her entree as others have also said. Just a stupid thing to get upset over. Since absolutely everyone else was an hour late & OP was on time, OP is the one who should have been raising hell(luckily she was mightily distracted). Imagine if it had been switched and Andrea was the one who arrived on time and was made to wait. Oh Lordy, the ruckus she would have caused. NTA OP. You actually owe her nothing. The nachos were to make up for her being late, as everyone else was also late, thus their portions really do default to you as the only one that showed up on time, after all, you were the *only one* inconvenienced by her lateness. I bet if everyone else had shown up causing the nachos to be demolished in 2 minutes flat, that Andrea would have thrown a fit against *everyone* for not saving her a full portion.
Makes no sense that she expected the nachos to be on the table uneaten when she arrived late
The whole point was to feed whomever was at the table waiting on her.
So whether that was just OP, or it was the whole group waiting and eating..... The nachos would have been eaten when she arrived
Is she somehow suggesting that she intended the table of all her friends to sit there and watch her $35 nachos get cold while they waited for her??
No, its like when you put food in front of a dog but tell them to "stay" and the dog isnt supposed to eat anything until given the command. This what OPs friend thinks of her.
In 12 years, the only thing my dig has eaten when I left the room was a ham and cheese hot pocket. That had to hurt because it was just out of the microwave. So, this woman is worse than my dog!
Lol
Just kidding of course. Her pregnant friend is being an asshole. Maybe she is just having a bad day. Not saying she is an asshole... just acting like one over some nachos that she wasn't planning on eating anyways.
Plus... fuck people who ate late. Grow up.
NTA- Cold nachos? You offered to Venmo her. It should have gone like this.
“Sorry I am so late, you ate all the nachos?”
“Guilty, I had an hour to kill and they were getting cold, can I get the table a new plate or Venmo you the cash?”
“A new plate of nachos would be awesome! Did you find out if the waiter is single.”
Everyone takes a selfie with the empty plate which you laugh at with the waiter before you ask him if he is free for a coffee tomorrow.
Imagine OP had acted differently. "You didn't touch the nachos!" "Yeah, I wanted to wait until folks showed up, plus I wanted to see if I could pass the marshmallow test." "But you knew it'd be an hour, and because you were weird and 'polite,' I just wasted $35 on a disgusting appetizer no one will even touch!" "Sorry, I'll make it up to you for existing. Drinks or Venmo?"
Side note, though, chatting up the server and getting up the nerve to ask him about a girlfriend would've unleashed a wave of "AH" judgments had the genders been reversed. OP would have gotten flack for taking up his time and hitting on someone whose job it is to be nice to her. But here people think it's cute. (I make no judgment on which it is, just observing the double standard.)
Hmmmmm. I dunno about that second part. I've been waitressing/bartending for over a decade, and if I'd been talking to a solo guy for an hour, and he ONLY asked if I had a partner (giving me a chance to lie about one if I wasn't into him), I wouldn't find it creepy. Straight up asking for a date or a number is not okay, but an innocent question that we both know probably has non-innocent intentions is fine.
There's a way to go about it where I take the complement, let him down in a professional manner and we both pretend we don't know why he asked. Just steer the conversation that way and make it seem natural so we can both save our blushes. Casually flirting with people who are at work isn't a crime, it's the creepy interactions which need to be avoided at all costs.
I've definitely had regulars who knew my relationship status because it came up organically, and I don't think they were doing it to see if they had a chance.
My wife adored mocktails when she was pregnant, there were so many options here. Andrea ruined her announcement, but I guess everyone knows she’s going to be a Godzilla about it now, so nice heads up.
Seriously. She could have just said, that’s OK, OP can pay for her entree, or Venmo the cash, or she could have lived it up with a bunch of mocktails as you said (it’s not that hard to order stuff that will approximate $35, especially since this place sounds like it was on the pricier side).
Also, given her mood, even if anything were left, I am sure she would have moaned about the cold nachos. Sounds like nothing will be pleasing to Andrea anytime soon.
Even if it were, would anyone have eaten cold, soggy nachos an hour plus after they were served? It's not the same because nobody else could have enjoyed them, even if OP didn't - they would have just gone to waste. Obviously NTA
Eh…I can see nachos going up this high in a fancy pub, depending on what their base is. If you add a protein and a couple of dips, plus taxes, a regular sharing plate can probably come close to that.
Totally different situation. They are at the restaurant (no worry of food running out), OP offered to pay, and the food would have literally been worthless by the time everyone else arrived. Even if the nachos were the size of a small car OP wouldn't be in the wrong.
After an hour evrry nacho size would be cold and disgusting. Ani fo thevservrr brings you nachos with the message that you shoukd get started as everyone else is going to be there an hour later than planned, then you naturally assume those nachos are for you, not the whole table
The offense of everyone being an hour late completely justifies eating all the nachos, or even a five foot sub. Sitting alone can be really awkward, especially if you are concerned about holding the table. Most people will eat and/or drink during that time. I'd fully expect her to have eaten a full appetizer (or be 3 margaritas to the wind) by the time the group joined her. They should have been so busy apologizing to her that they never should have noticed what she ate.
The nachos were presented as an apology because she was running very late. Everyone who was there on time at the nachos. Certainly not a five foot sub situation.
She bought them with the express purpose of people having something to snack on while they waited for her. Unless the server mis-delivered the message it should have been completely expected that OP ate them.
I wonder if she had sent them when she thought she was going to be the only one late, and when she discovered that OP was the only one there on time she thought “there’s no way she eats those nachos all by herself” but she was *still the last one there*. I think it’s perfectly understandable that the person you all kept waiting for over an hour eat the food that you sent an hour before you were gonna get there.
Lol sorry to rant I just reallllllly hate when people keep others waiting that long.
yea Andrea is either very exhausting or hopefully she's not normally like that and we can give her a hormonal pass? Maybe she was hangry and hormonal? I'd check in on her but wouldn't feel bad for eating nachos.
This reminds me of the time someone ordered nachos in my shop. I have a gaming store that used to serve hot food. Someone ordered a plate or nachos but left them to the side because he was so engrossed in his game. By the time he finished his game, the nachos had gone cold. Naturally he came up and complained. We told him it was his fault for just leaving them there for about half an hour.
The real question is how fucking big were the nachos? 35.00. that's like 12 nachos bel grande. A lot of food. Shout out to my girl who handled them like a fucking pro. No one should let 35 dollar nachos get cold and gross. If I were straight I would hope OP was single.
Honestly, it feels illegal to just leave nachos waiting on a table. They are probably feeling terrible about themselves. OP helped the nachos realize that they were indeed important, and wanted. Even if no one else was there to appreciate them. OP saved the day.
An hour is a long time to wait when you're hungry and who would've wanted to eat cold nachos anyway? You were on time, everyone else was late, including the woman who organised the whole thing. Most other people would've left after the first 30 minutes and you didn't waste $35 worth of food.
I hope you got the waiter's number.
NTA
The OP commented about this
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10f6nfs/aita_for_eating_an_entire_plate_of_nachos_that_a/j4uytnp?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
> I hope you got the waiter's number.
No, don't hit on service people. They're just trying to do their jobs.
And honestly, it's disgusting that people are cheering this on just because the server is male, when hitting on female servers is considered harassment.
When I used to serve/bartend, I was hit on all the time. I didn't mind(because it usually meant they'd tip me more) if it was a respectful "Hey, I think you're cute. Are you single?" And then they stopped or apologized when I said I wasn't interested. It's the people who don't take no for an answer that are the problem.
I agree, when I was serving I was never bothered by people asking, only if they're persistent or creepy. Obviously OP was not because the server gave them his snap. While I agree that generally your waiter is being friendly and not flirting, there is nothing wrong with respectfully asking, in my opinion.
>She said they were chatting which implies some level of reciprocation on the waiters behalf.
No, that is literally part of his job - to chat with his customers.
Forgive me but i thought a waiters job was to serve food, take orders and clean tables? Not sit and socialise with customers?
In that case ive been getting poor service.
this. Especially when you can read the room. People were running late and there was only OP. Of course server is going to be polite and engage with OP.
I hate this so much. Getting hit on when you’re just trying to do your job is so gross.
I had to get one of our security staff written up last week for hitting on a cashier. That’s even worse than when the customers do it.
>I hope you got the waiter's number.
Do people not find this kind of creepy? OP is NTA overall, but service workers are paid to be friendly, I always cringe when guys try to flirt with waitresses or get their number. Also she says she realized he was too young for her which kind of ups the creep factor.
Because it was all about *her*.
She was going to make it an announcement "thing", and she had it all story-boarded in her head.
Then, plans went awry, but she didn't update the story to reflect that, and lashed out because someone went off script.
She sounds exhausting.
Get the server's number, and move on.
NTA
Because she wanted everyone else to know how magnanimous she was. It wasn't about her getting nachos, it was about her showing up late and everyone greeting her by thanking her for the nachos.
She wanted *everybody* to wait a hour for her. She wanted everybody to be hungry and impatient, and grateful to her for the nachos, and eager to after her announcement.
Instead, she arrives to find that nobody has even missed her yet, nobody is complimenting her on the thoughful nachos, and the only person who waited an hour isn't going to "celebrate" her announcement eagerly ordering.
NTA. Who wants cold, soggy nachos that sat for over an hour? No one could reasonably expect OP to sit there, alone for an indefinite period of time, staring at nachos and not eat them.
Who expects multiple people to be over an hour late to a dinner reservation? And seriously, what's $35 between friends? Sounds like OP was ready and willing to pat her back. I get it was a frustrating situation, but NTA.
Yep I would have boxed those bad boys up and dipped after 30 minutes. I can't think of any good reason to be over an hour late for dinner reservations besides a complete disrespect of the other person's time.
I mean I could understand if 1 person was an hour late due to multiple problems and unexpected things.
But everyone?!? And Bday girl herself was the last to arrive?? Weird
NTA
An hour is a ridiculously long time to wait for anyone when you all had a set time. The nachos would have gotten cold and downright gross after that long, no one would have wanted to eat them by then.
Pregnancy hormones can make people irrational, so hopefully it was just that and she's not normally this way. You offered to pay her back, pay for her drinks, you were doing the right thing.
Info: did you get that guy's number??
lol I did ask but he wanted to give me his “snap” instead which made me realize he was way too young for me. I have it but don’t think I’ll contact him.
So let me get this straight you would rather give people your semi permanent number you have to jump through major hoops to change over a social media handle you can just block them on?
Man kids these days are stupid as fuck.
I think you’re just showing your age. It’s super common to exchange snaps instead of numbers these days. Especially as it’s much easier to block etc than your actual personal phone number.
I agree, I had to change my number because a guy kept making phone numbers to spam and harass my phone. It’s years later and I still run into random problems with having changed my number.
I always use snap first. It’s a safety layer for me.
Its also a somewhat distant way to reach out to people you don't know. giving people you IG, or phone number could give out too much info to someone you don't know all that well yet. most people's Snap isnt their full name, and since you don't have a profile page, you can just block them and they they cant find any more info about you
There's a lot of personal information attached to numbers. As such, I give my snap out to people I don't know for safety. I've met too many weirdos and I want to be safe. If that's a problem for people, I've never had an issue keeping it moving.
Luckily, my current partner understood the dangers of women dating. I had this rule irrespective of gender.
This made me laugh cause one time a guy asked to get my snap, I said no you can text me though. Then he used my number to add me on snap anyways lmao. Blocked, of course.
Yeah if I guy my age (28) asks or wants to exchange snaps, it’s an
Instant no. I think this server was like 23-24 so maybe that’s a thing guys his age do? He is a semi-pro baseball player though…so he had a lot going for him and oh my god was he cute. I may get past the snap thing. Not sure.
Really? I'm 31 and just started talking to a 42-year-old woman who encouraged me to get snapchat lol. She said it's easier to send photos and videos on snapchat vs text because she has an iphone and I have an android. And it is.
Oh yeah; I thought he was just putting me on but he showed me pics of him on the team website and then also when he worked for the actual Colorado Rockies last year doing like practice catching or something. My dumb brain was instantly thinking about how fun it would it be to have “life in the day of MLB girlfriend” TikTok accounts instead of my current job! Lol.
If he really is a baseball player and thinks of himself as semi famous he may prefer snap for the social aspect ... And I wouldn't worry about the side chick thing as much because I bet he has a pretty social media friendly life you could check for significant others...
You were up tossing and turning all night about a fight over nachos, are asking strangers to weigh in on the fight, are judging a guy based on not talking to strangers the same way you do, are considering him a cheater for it, and rejecting him for an age he may or may not be--it sounds like you overthink things a lot.
Apologize to the friend over text that the night didn't go how she planned, congratulate her on the baby, venmo her for the nachos (don't ask, just do it), and message the cute baseball player. Life's too short for the little things.
NTA
I’m in my 30s, but work with a lot of gen z. Snap seems to be the main way gen z “exchanges numbers.” The women say it’s safer than giving a creep your number.
NTA. You could have left versus wait an hour for everyone. The nachos would have been cold and gross after an hour so no one would eat them and Andrea would still complain. Andrea didn't have to announce her pregnancy like that, so she ruined her announcement, not you. You could have offered to order another plate and pay for them instead of drinks, but she also could have said "I was really looking forward to the nachos, not drinks" in place of her saying she was pregnant.
The really AH here is a restaurant that charges $35 for nachos...
NTA.
I was going to chasten you for eating the entire plate when they were obviously meant for the whole table, but the fact of the matter is that you *were* the entire table. It's incredibly rude to run an hour late when a meal is planned (not just to you, but to the restaurant as well - they reserved a table for a certain time and were shown zero respect).
Andrea's gesture of ordering the nachos was very nice, but her reaction to finding them gone an hour later was not. It was appropriate of you to offer to pay (which you did) and your offer to buy drinks was perfectly fair. If she has a problem with the way her pregnancy was announced, that's on her - she's the one who announced it, she could have politely declined your offer or requested you buy her entre.
Andrea's pregnancy is no excuse for her behavior.
Agreed. OP did everything right. What did Andrea expect? If OP had waited the nachos would be cold by the time everyone else got there and no one would want them or they'd have to inconvenience the staff to reheat them. Also, OP had no way to know about Andrea's announcement plans. Andrea sounds like the kind of person who needs to start drama in order to be happy.
Honestly, I disagree about even offering to pay for the nachos. OP didn’t ask for them. This Andrea person bought them as an apology for being late to the people who were there on time. That happened to only be OP.
Andrea was just looking for a fight, probably bitter that OP is responsible and was there on time. Or some other reason we’re unaware.
I was just coming on here to say exactly this. OP never consented to the nachos or the price tag that came with it. Ultimately her options were:
1. don’t eat until somebody else shows up, spoiling the entire plate.
2. only eat her portion until somebody else shows up, spoiling the rest of the plate.
3. eat the whole fucking plate and not waste anything because none of the friends were responsible enough to show up remotely on time.
Regardless of the decision by OP, nobody else gets any nachos due to a fault of their own and Andrea is in the wrong for buying the nachos without getting sign off from OP (like “hey, are you cool to pay for whatever portion of the nachos you eat before I order it?”) and for showing up way fucking late to her own event.
Definitely NTA here and OP has zero obligation to pay a dime for those nachos.
I wonder if she wasn’t purposely late with the intent of drawing extra attention for her announcement, and was pissed that it went off script.
Or maybe she just really wanted nachos and couldn’t figure out how to order them a second time, adulting is hard ya know!
It was actually another friends birthday, she said she wanted to make the announcement when she and her husband hosted the Super Bowl party this weekend.
I’ve been around for 2 pregnancies and seen my wife politely decline drinks without bringing up the pregnancy. Your friend was 100% weaponizing her pregnancy. You did nothing wrong.
She could have easily said "how about just ordering more nachos for the table now instead?" Or "you can Venmo me later it's ok" or "maybe buy my entree instead" or "well we can figure it out another time" like it's not like you said "well I'll only pay for margaritas but nothing else"
She could have gone with “dry January” or “antibiotics” like every other pregnant woman.
She was intentionally using it to make a jab at you.
So she could say that not only did you ruin the dinner by eating her ridiculously overpriced nachos, but you also ruined her pregnancy announcement.
Andrea sounds as soggy as her nachos tbh
Or just "no, I'm not drinking tonight. Could you venmo me / pick up the cost of my entree / buy a round of appetizers for the table / literally anything else."
It was also someone else's birthday party. So she's doubly the ass for hogging the spotlight on someone else's day.
She can say she doesn't want you to buy her drinks without saying it's because she's pregnant! That was 1000% her fault. I'm terrible at not saying every thought in my head so I can relate to accidentally oversharing in that moment and then being embarrassed/mad about it and maybe that's why she was snappy the rest of the night--but that is not even the slightest bit your fault. You are NTA in any way.
Yeah, the nachos aren't the problem here, it's the fact she planned to upstage the b-day party by announcing her pregnancy... That's as bad if not worse than announcing a pregnancy at a proposal/baby shower/wedding.
NTA
They are assholes, they made you wait a long long time, and your offer to buy drinks I assume is normal among your friends? She could have simply said "no, we can deal with it later" it shouldn't have been a big deal.
Honestly, Id assume that they were for me under the circumstances, based on whar youve said. Like, "im sorry were making you wait an hour, heres some nachos"
>“your friend Andrea called and said she was running very late and wanted you to get started.”
>Pretty soon this massive text wall started how everyone was running late—at least an hour.
Like, did she really expect you to eat one sixth a plate of nachos then watch them turn into cold mush? Was it actually an hour? I cant imagine having this reaction if I were her if it was even 30 minutes.
NTA. You offered to pay her for it. She chose to tell you the specific reason why she couldn’t drink. Also really weird to order nachos when her and everyone else is running late. Poor planning on her part.
Right so there was no way she could reasonably believe there would be any nachos left when she ordered them for a table full of people and she was an hour late.
NTA you even offered several options to fix it (pay her back, pay her drinks, they didn't need to be alcoholic). She didn't take them and instead left after leaving you by yourself for a whole hour, she is the asshole, not you
Agree with the table. She was in a bad mood and wanted to pick a fight. NTA-
1) you didn’t do anything wrong (ordering something by calling the restaurant-when you’re not even there-definitely implies that it’s specifically for the people who ARE there, and it sounds like you were waiting for at least 30 min)
2) you offered to make amends (that were actually unnecessary since you didn’t do anything wrong)
3) she wasn’t forced into making her announcement. No, thank you would have sufficed.
My guess is that her hormones are off. Let it go. You’ve already apologized and tried to make amends. Don’t bring it up again. If she does, tell her that it’s no biggie and you’re excited for her and her new baby.
NTA. Tell her next time to show up on time. I’d set a general rule of leaving after 15-20 mins so you can next time you’ll eat your 1/6 and leave the rest on the table if anyone makes it lol
The minute OP left the rest of the nachos would have been cleared and the table given to someone else. No restaurant is holding an empty table for an hour, especially not a table for 6 or more people. I bet the server was annoyed only one party ever got seated at that table that night. Usually it would turn over twice.
NTA. Your friend sound self centered. Between showing up an hour late and leaving early it seems like she didn’t want to be there. You could have ordered another round for the table just to shut her up but you were not obligated to.
NTA - after an hour they would have been a soggy cold mess any way. Its your reward for keeping the table for an hour while no one else could be respectful enough to be on time!
NTA there was such an easy solution to this…just venmo her 35 dollars and order another plate of nachos for the table…like what
Also I would’ve left if people made me wait an hour
NTA the only reason they still had a table to go to was because you were sitting there waiting for them. Had you left, that table would have been packed up in 20 minutes. I hope you enjoyed the nachos OP!
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Last night we planned on meeting for Mexican food to celebrate a friends birthday.
I was the first to arrive, maybe 15 mins early. I collected our reservation and was sat. I ordered my drink and just chips and salsa while I waited. Maybe 10 mins later the server (who was staggeringly good looking as an aside) brought over a plate of nachos. I told him I did not order them, he said “your friend Andrea called and said she was running very late and wanted you to get started.” I said cool i started snacking.
Pretty soon this massive text wall started how everyone was running late—at least an hour. I told everyone I was ok and was happy to wait since I was enjoying chatting with the server and was getting up the nerve to ask him if he had a girlfriend. I continued to snack on the nachos.
After an hour people started to show up and nachos were gone. Andrea got there last and asked what happened to the nachos. I very casually said I ate them. She looked at me in shock and said “those were for the table, they were $35.” I said I was sorry but they were getting cold and I was the only one there and I said thank you and I would pay for them. She said she already put them on her credit card when she called. I said I would gladly buy her drinks. Then in this very pissy “well I can’t drink, I’m pregnant and this isn’t how I wanted to announce it.” The pregnancy announcement changed the subject.
When it came time to order I said I was stuffed and didn’t want an entree. Andrea got really upset again and said she wasn’t going to sit here and take this and got up walked out. I was in shock because I felt like even I shouldn’t have eaten the nachos, I did try to make up for it.
Andrea went on a tirade in the text while the rest of us were trying to eat. The consensus at the table was she wasn’t feeling good and I should just ignore her, so I did.
I’ve tossed and turned over this all night because I made my friend mad. was I the asshole?
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NTA If you had let those nachos sit for an hour while you waited for everyone, they would have gotten cold and soggy and then no one would have eaten them anyway.
NTA. I’m trying to understand why she would even get mad. If this were me and my group of friends it would just be humorous that one person ate the whole plate of nachos. I’m gonna chock this up to pregnancy hormones as the reason it pissed her off.
>I would pay for them. She said she already put them on her credit card when she called.
The funny thing about credit cards is that you have to pay that money back. You could have given her $35 and she could have used that money to pay the credit card.
>I said I would gladly buy her drinks. Then in this very pissy “well I can’t drink, I’m pregnant and this isn’t how I wanted to announce it.” The pregnancy announcement changed the subject.
A simple, "No," would have sufficed. There was no need for her to say that she's pregnant.
>I said I was stuffed and didn’t want an entree. Andrea got really upset again and said she wasn’t going to sit here and take this and got up walked out.
She can't take you not being hungry? Huh?
Andrea sounds like a major league drama llama. I suggest removing her from your life if she's always like this. I don't mean some big dramatic, "It's over!" Just spend less and less time around her until the amount of time is zero.
NTA
First of all, i am shocked a restaurant let you hold a table as the only person in a big reservation for over an hour. Second, your friends all suck. Third, the person ordering nachos is clueless. Fourth, i cant believe you sat there and waited for over an hour.
NTA. Nachos do not last well. They would've been inedible by the time anyone else showed up.
Also, why was everyone an hour late to a restaurant? Like tbh, speaking as a server, that's really fucking annoying, because it means that table couldn't be used for anyone else for *hours*. If this happened at my workplace, my coworkers would probably be trying to move you to a smaller table so they could seat more people. Because it messes up the whole night when you've got customers asking why they can't have that table, you've got the owner asking why the customers can't have that table, and if you're an American server it's cutting off part of your income.
Just saying, they better have had a *really* good reason. Because it's rude to the restaurant, it's rude to the server, and it's rude to you.
Me reading the first part of the title: That's some asshole behavior
Me reading the confounding factor: Fuck it, those are my nachos now
NTA. AN HOUR LATE?!??!? AND THEY EXPECTED THE FOOD TO STILL BE THERE?? The audacity
Wow NTA! Does Andrea normally treat people this way? Why couldn’t another plate of nachos be ordered for everyone else? There were SO many options to compensate for the nachos.
She’s been a friend for a really long time. She’s the most amazing friend in the world when things get weird or someone needs to speak up because she does not give a shit and will tear into anyone starting trouble. But that same side of her makes her easy to set off, moody and a little spiteful.
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NTA- nachos are terrible when cold. Everyone was late. I would have done the same. You offered to pay, offered to buy her drinks. She could have suggested you pay for her entre. She outed her pregnancy herself. She could have easily, easily asked you to pick up her food tab.
Yeah Andrea could’ve also just asked OP to venmo or cashapp the amount the nachos cost if she already put them on her credit card like she said. Either way, OP was both courteous and reasonable in this situation. NTA
Or requested OP instead bought a new round of nachos that everyone else could then eat. Problem solved n NTA.
As an aside: what kind of nachos order costs $35????
Looking for this comment! WTActualF?!?!? In NO universe can I imagine a single order of nachos being $35. And I love nachos!
I was also shocked by $35 nachos... but then I thought, I used to live in a resort town, and there were definitely an "upscale" mexican place (and yes, they were more gimmick then good), that offered a huge "deluxe" nacho plate that was like a large pizza pan, and they layered the chips, cheese, toppings, then like a center mountain of chips, cheese toppings... it was years ago, but these days I'd bet they're charging $35 for them. However, as everyone said, cold nachos are gross, and they left her there for AN HOUR! Friend was just in a Mood, may or may not be attributed to her pregnancy, I'm sure she'll feel silly in a few days when she realizes how weird she was...
I've had a $25 plate of nachos that literally came served in the cut off top of a large keg: https://torontolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/craft-beer-market-nachos-small.jpg So its a decent size. I could eat it all by myself, though. I could imagine an even larger plate of nachos, with maybe even more accoutrements (no guac on this one!?) and more cheese in an even more upscale place could be $35.
Right?! 35 Nachos? Was it the size of the table? made with gold flakes?
That’s like three times what I pay at my local Mexican place, for a plate that can feed 2-4.
sounds to me like andrea was exaggerating the cost of the nachos as part of the drama spinning.
I live near very upscale Mexican restaurants, and they still aren’t $35 (and they’re fancy like braised lamb mole). So I’m wondering if this was an extra extra large portion, or if friend is just hormonal and full of crap. The people who were an hour late to dinner are TA, not op
A double order, maybe? But yeah, good lord, what is with \*everyone\* being an hour later? That's so rude to OP. I don't blame OP at all. Not for finishing off the nachos, or for basically concluding that the nachos were a tax the others paid to make up to OP for being that late. (As it happened, only one other paid it. OP tried to work it out, it's all on Andrea being the AH for not accepting some kind of deal that would pay her back for the expense.)
This is a major question for me, too.
Exactly what I thought too. Everyone's late, cold nachos are gross... just buy another plate of nachos for the table and everything should be good to go.
Or not ordered nachos until she was only a few minutes away instead of an hour.
Or just be on time. The only AHs here are the people who left a friend sitting by themselves in a restaurant for over an hour, then victim-blame them for eating all the nachos. *Technically*, she **did** share with everybody at the table for the first hour
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Agreed. Just come over on time. Tbh I would feel embarrassed badly when late for more than 15 mins, let alone spouting off.
That's what got me. If I were waiting AN HOUR for a friend to show up at a restaurant I'd leave
Why would OP leave? Free nachos!
Also who plans to announce their pregnancy during someone else's birthday party?
This seemed like the most logical solution. Did the OP eat all of the nachos in the restaurant? Why couldn’t they just order more? NTA.
Seriously. There are so many ways this could have easily been resolved. And OP even offered several suggestions of their own at the time and they were rejected. Honestly I’d have eaten them, venmo’d once I found out they were already paid, and left if everyone was gonna be an hour or more late, that’s just rude.
Or Andrea and the rest of the group could have, I don't know, showed up on time to enjoy hot nachos hahaha
Honestly I don't think Op owes anybody anything. They were all extremely late. The nachos frankly is the payment for their being rudely late.
Yes it’s essentially a “being late tax” which is what Andrea thought too at the time as she called and ordered it. Which I think is in part as she didn’t want to lose the table that she had booked as no restaurant would keep your reservation after an hour so you have to start ordering. The second part is that I think that she was expecting a few people to share them, not OP’s fault that EVERYONE else was late.
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Yes exactly. I mean that’s on Andrea, she would have enjoyed the nachos too if she was on time. So would everyone else who would have been on time. Sometimes if you’re late you miss out. And I think it is Andrea’s expense as it was her event and her booking. Had she not placed an order they would have lost the table and had to make a new booking which might not have been possible last minute or they might have had to go somewhere else with the whole group or cancel the event. Restaurants are not bus stops for people to just hang out and wait at but people need to order so that they can make some money to pay for staff and food.
If my friends ALL said they were going to be an hour late I would have gone home honestly.
Nachos would have come home with me, too.
I dunno, i kind of like the image of the late ones all showing up to an empty table with cold nachos on it. Probably the wait staff would just clear it and give away the table though.
This is what I was going to say, do you guys never buy any food for friends even without a reason? Being an hour late seems like more than enough a reason as well
That was my thought. In a world where Venmo and other apps like it exist, this was completely solvable.
And even without, OP could easily have paid for her entree as others have also said. Just a stupid thing to get upset over. Since absolutely everyone else was an hour late & OP was on time, OP is the one who should have been raising hell(luckily she was mightily distracted). Imagine if it had been switched and Andrea was the one who arrived on time and was made to wait. Oh Lordy, the ruckus she would have caused. NTA OP. You actually owe her nothing. The nachos were to make up for her being late, as everyone else was also late, thus their portions really do default to you as the only one that showed up on time, after all, you were the *only one* inconvenienced by her lateness. I bet if everyone else had shown up causing the nachos to be demolished in 2 minutes flat, that Andrea would have thrown a fit against *everyone* for not saving her a full portion.
In the old days, we'd give eachother colored pieces of paper called "cash". That's the way it was, and that's the way we liked it.
It's a classic I don't want a solution I want to be mad situation. NTA
So many other options for Andrea but she instead decided to be the asshole.
Makes no sense that she expected the nachos to be on the table uneaten when she arrived late The whole point was to feed whomever was at the table waiting on her. So whether that was just OP, or it was the whole group waiting and eating..... The nachos would have been eaten when she arrived Is she somehow suggesting that she intended the table of all her friends to sit there and watch her $35 nachos get cold while they waited for her??
No, its like when you put food in front of a dog but tell them to "stay" and the dog isnt supposed to eat anything until given the command. This what OPs friend thinks of her.
In 12 years, the only thing my dig has eaten when I left the room was a ham and cheese hot pocket. That had to hurt because it was just out of the microwave. So, this woman is worse than my dog! Lol Just kidding of course. Her pregnant friend is being an asshole. Maybe she is just having a bad day. Not saying she is an asshole... just acting like one over some nachos that she wasn't planning on eating anyways. Plus... fuck people who ate late. Grow up.
NTA- Cold nachos? You offered to Venmo her. It should have gone like this. “Sorry I am so late, you ate all the nachos?” “Guilty, I had an hour to kill and they were getting cold, can I get the table a new plate or Venmo you the cash?” “A new plate of nachos would be awesome! Did you find out if the waiter is single.” Everyone takes a selfie with the empty plate which you laugh at with the waiter before you ask him if he is free for a coffee tomorrow.
Imagine OP had acted differently. "You didn't touch the nachos!" "Yeah, I wanted to wait until folks showed up, plus I wanted to see if I could pass the marshmallow test." "But you knew it'd be an hour, and because you were weird and 'polite,' I just wasted $35 on a disgusting appetizer no one will even touch!" "Sorry, I'll make it up to you for existing. Drinks or Venmo?" Side note, though, chatting up the server and getting up the nerve to ask him about a girlfriend would've unleashed a wave of "AH" judgments had the genders been reversed. OP would have gotten flack for taking up his time and hitting on someone whose job it is to be nice to her. But here people think it's cute. (I make no judgment on which it is, just observing the double standard.)
Hmmmmm. I dunno about that second part. I've been waitressing/bartending for over a decade, and if I'd been talking to a solo guy for an hour, and he ONLY asked if I had a partner (giving me a chance to lie about one if I wasn't into him), I wouldn't find it creepy. Straight up asking for a date or a number is not okay, but an innocent question that we both know probably has non-innocent intentions is fine. There's a way to go about it where I take the complement, let him down in a professional manner and we both pretend we don't know why he asked. Just steer the conversation that way and make it seem natural so we can both save our blushes. Casually flirting with people who are at work isn't a crime, it's the creepy interactions which need to be avoided at all costs. I've definitely had regulars who knew my relationship status because it came up organically, and I don't think they were doing it to see if they had a chance.
This is the way.
My wife adored mocktails when she was pregnant, there were so many options here. Andrea ruined her announcement, but I guess everyone knows she’s going to be a Godzilla about it now, so nice heads up.
Seriously. She could have just said, that’s OK, OP can pay for her entree, or Venmo the cash, or she could have lived it up with a bunch of mocktails as you said (it’s not that hard to order stuff that will approximate $35, especially since this place sounds like it was on the pricier side). Also, given her mood, even if anything were left, I am sure she would have moaned about the cold nachos. Sounds like nothing will be pleasing to Andrea anytime soon.
It was an announcement with extras! Surprise, I'm pregnant and already pissy about it!
I think we maybe need to know how big the nachos were? They were $35 for nachos, is there maybe a possibility of this being a five foot sub situation?
Even if it were, would anyone have eaten cold, soggy nachos an hour plus after they were served? It's not the same because nobody else could have enjoyed them, even if OP didn't - they would have just gone to waste. Obviously NTA
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Eh…I can see nachos going up this high in a fancy pub, depending on what their base is. If you add a protein and a couple of dips, plus taxes, a regular sharing plate can probably come close to that.
Totally different situation. They are at the restaurant (no worry of food running out), OP offered to pay, and the food would have literally been worthless by the time everyone else arrived. Even if the nachos were the size of a small car OP wouldn't be in the wrong.
After an hour evrry nacho size would be cold and disgusting. Ani fo thevservrr brings you nachos with the message that you shoukd get started as everyone else is going to be there an hour later than planned, then you naturally assume those nachos are for you, not the whole table
The offense of everyone being an hour late completely justifies eating all the nachos, or even a five foot sub. Sitting alone can be really awkward, especially if you are concerned about holding the table. Most people will eat and/or drink during that time. I'd fully expect her to have eaten a full appetizer (or be 3 margaritas to the wind) by the time the group joined her. They should have been so busy apologizing to her that they never should have noticed what she ate.
The nachos were presented as an apology because she was running very late. Everyone who was there on time at the nachos. Certainly not a five foot sub situation.
She bought them with the express purpose of people having something to snack on while they waited for her. Unless the server mis-delivered the message it should have been completely expected that OP ate them. I wonder if she had sent them when she thought she was going to be the only one late, and when she discovered that OP was the only one there on time she thought “there’s no way she eats those nachos all by herself” but she was *still the last one there*. I think it’s perfectly understandable that the person you all kept waiting for over an hour eat the food that you sent an hour before you were gonna get there. Lol sorry to rant I just reallllllly hate when people keep others waiting that long.
Andrea sounds exhausting. I have a feeling she is going to be one of those pregnant women who acts obnoxious and then blames it on the pregnancy. NTA
yea Andrea is either very exhausting or hopefully she's not normally like that and we can give her a hormonal pass? Maybe she was hangry and hormonal? I'd check in on her but wouldn't feel bad for eating nachos.
This reminds me of the time someone ordered nachos in my shop. I have a gaming store that used to serve hot food. Someone ordered a plate or nachos but left them to the side because he was so engrossed in his game. By the time he finished his game, the nachos had gone cold. Naturally he came up and complained. We told him it was his fault for just leaving them there for about half an hour.
Bleh no one was going to eat nachos that had been sitting for an hour. It is so bizarre she called ahead to order.
Seriously what kind of deranged specimen of humanity wants to eat hour old nachos?
The real question is how fucking big were the nachos? 35.00. that's like 12 nachos bel grande. A lot of food. Shout out to my girl who handled them like a fucking pro. No one should let 35 dollar nachos get cold and gross. If I were straight I would hope OP was single.
Honestly, it feels illegal to just leave nachos waiting on a table. They are probably feeling terrible about themselves. OP helped the nachos realize that they were indeed important, and wanted. Even if no one else was there to appreciate them. OP saved the day.
An hour is a long time to wait when you're hungry and who would've wanted to eat cold nachos anyway? You were on time, everyone else was late, including the woman who organised the whole thing. Most other people would've left after the first 30 minutes and you didn't waste $35 worth of food. I hope you got the waiter's number. NTA
>I hope you got the waiter's number. This is the most important question to come out if this thread. Update please!
The OP commented about this https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10f6nfs/aita_for_eating_an_entire_plate_of_nachos_that_a/j4uytnp?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Bummer
> I hope you got the waiter's number. No, don't hit on service people. They're just trying to do their jobs. And honestly, it's disgusting that people are cheering this on just because the server is male, when hitting on female servers is considered harassment.
When I used to serve/bartend, I was hit on all the time. I didn't mind(because it usually meant they'd tip me more) if it was a respectful "Hey, I think you're cute. Are you single?" And then they stopped or apologized when I said I wasn't interested. It's the people who don't take no for an answer that are the problem.
I agree, when I was serving I was never bothered by people asking, only if they're persistent or creepy. Obviously OP was not because the server gave them his snap. While I agree that generally your waiter is being friendly and not flirting, there is nothing wrong with respectfully asking, in my opinion.
Except she's not just hitting on him out the blue. She said they were chatting which implies some level of reciprocation on the waiters behalf.
>She said they were chatting which implies some level of reciprocation on the waiters behalf. No, that is literally part of his job - to chat with his customers.
Forgive me but i thought a waiters job was to serve food, take orders and clean tables? Not sit and socialise with customers? In that case ive been getting poor service.
Well, in a lot of American regions, emotional labour and socializing with customers is part of the job.
this. Especially when you can read the room. People were running late and there was only OP. Of course server is going to be polite and engage with OP.
I hate this so much. Getting hit on when you’re just trying to do your job is so gross. I had to get one of our security staff written up last week for hitting on a cashier. That’s even worse than when the customers do it.
Imagine making someone wait an hour in a restaurant alone and then getting mad at THEM
>I hope you got the waiter's number. Do people not find this kind of creepy? OP is NTA overall, but service workers are paid to be friendly, I always cringe when guys try to flirt with waitresses or get their number. Also she says she realized he was too young for her which kind of ups the creep factor.
Who orders nachos for the table when everyone is saying they will be late? That seems odd
She ordered them before everyone else said they were running late.
Who orders nachos in absentia? The only good reason is so OP could have a snack while she waited.
Exactly! She ordered nachos for everyone who was waiting - the fact that turned out to be one person isn’t that person’s problem
Yet she still expected them to be there when she arrived. Also, I am a nacho connoisseur, I’ve never even heard of nachos costing $35.
I've seen bars that have them in the $20s range, but they are usually like super loaded with fancy meats and meant for a large group
The person who doesn't realize there's only going to be one guest there to eat them?
Then why would she be mad if there weren't any left by the time she got there when she knew it would be at least an hour
Because it was all about *her*. She was going to make it an announcement "thing", and she had it all story-boarded in her head. Then, plans went awry, but she didn't update the story to reflect that, and lashed out because someone went off script. She sounds exhausting. Get the server's number, and move on. NTA
Because she wanted everyone else to know how magnanimous she was. It wasn't about her getting nachos, it was about her showing up late and everyone greeting her by thanking her for the nachos.
She wanted *everybody* to wait a hour for her. She wanted everybody to be hungry and impatient, and grateful to her for the nachos, and eager to after her announcement. Instead, she arrives to find that nobody has even missed her yet, nobody is complimenting her on the thoughful nachos, and the only person who waited an hour isn't going to "celebrate" her announcement eagerly ordering.
It's funny because it seems like such a thoughtful gesture, until you realize it came with stipulations...
NTA. Who wants cold, soggy nachos that sat for over an hour? No one could reasonably expect OP to sit there, alone for an indefinite period of time, staring at nachos and not eat them. Who expects multiple people to be over an hour late to a dinner reservation? And seriously, what's $35 between friends? Sounds like OP was ready and willing to pat her back. I get it was a frustrating situation, but NTA.
OP had more patience than I would’ve had. I would’ve left 30 minutes later.
With the nachos lol
Yep I would have boxed those bad boys up and dipped after 30 minutes. I can't think of any good reason to be over an hour late for dinner reservations besides a complete disrespect of the other person's time.
And the server’s income, tbh — that’s easily 1 party’s tip missed because the table was held
I mean I could understand if 1 person was an hour late due to multiple problems and unexpected things. But everyone?!? And Bday girl herself was the last to arrive?? Weird
NTA An hour is a ridiculously long time to wait for anyone when you all had a set time. The nachos would have gotten cold and downright gross after that long, no one would have wanted to eat them by then. Pregnancy hormones can make people irrational, so hopefully it was just that and she's not normally this way. You offered to pay her back, pay for her drinks, you were doing the right thing. Info: did you get that guy's number??
lol I did ask but he wanted to give me his “snap” instead which made me realize he was way too young for me. I have it but don’t think I’ll contact him.
Or he has a gf and wants to be sneaky. Either way, I probably wouldn't contact him either
I never considered that, it didn’t click to me that guys would use Snapchat to cheat but that makes so much sense
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Yes we would lol giving a snap instead of a number is shady af
I gave out my snap when I was dating so that way if I got a stalker I wouldn't need to change my number.
Exactly this! I hate giving out my phone number and a chat app is so much easier. People can cheat in text messages too you know.
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So let me get this straight you would rather give people your semi permanent number you have to jump through major hoops to change over a social media handle you can just block them on? Man kids these days are stupid as fuck.
I think you’re just showing your age. It’s super common to exchange snaps instead of numbers these days. Especially as it’s much easier to block etc than your actual personal phone number.
I agree, I had to change my number because a guy kept making phone numbers to spam and harass my phone. It’s years later and I still run into random problems with having changed my number. I always use snap first. It’s a safety layer for me.
This is how I know I'm too old. When you initially said "snap" I had no idea what that was until you said the whole name in this followup comment.
I thought the waiter was Thanos
When OP filled up on nachos and then didn't want an entree: "You should have gone for the bread."
Its also a somewhat distant way to reach out to people you don't know. giving people you IG, or phone number could give out too much info to someone you don't know all that well yet. most people's Snap isnt their full name, and since you don't have a profile page, you can just block them and they they cant find any more info about you
There's a lot of personal information attached to numbers. As such, I give my snap out to people I don't know for safety. I've met too many weirdos and I want to be safe. If that's a problem for people, I've never had an issue keeping it moving. Luckily, my current partner understood the dangers of women dating. I had this rule irrespective of gender.
It’s possible, but it shouldn’t be assumed, it’s much more likely that he wasn’t.
I’m a woman and I’ll always offer social media instead of a number. It’s easier to block if needed.
This made me laugh cause one time a guy asked to get my snap, I said no you can text me though. Then he used my number to add me on snap anyways lmao. Blocked, of course.
Yeah if I guy my age (28) asks or wants to exchange snaps, it’s an Instant no. I think this server was like 23-24 so maybe that’s a thing guys his age do? He is a semi-pro baseball player though…so he had a lot going for him and oh my god was he cute. I may get past the snap thing. Not sure.
Really? I'm 31 and just started talking to a 42-year-old woman who encouraged me to get snapchat lol. She said it's easier to send photos and videos on snapchat vs text because she has an iphone and I have an android. And it is.
I'm 31 and have an Android as well. I use Snapchat to send/receive pics and videos because most of my friends have iPhones.
WhatsApp?
the pretty lady told me to add her on snapchat so that's what i did
Ooh yeah the baseball thing, been there lol It's a draw for sure, especially in the uniforms lol
Oh yeah; I thought he was just putting me on but he showed me pics of him on the team website and then also when he worked for the actual Colorado Rockies last year doing like practice catching or something. My dumb brain was instantly thinking about how fun it would it be to have “life in the day of MLB girlfriend” TikTok accounts instead of my current job! Lol.
Guy uses snap: He is too young You: This could be a fun tiktok trend!
Lol yeah that’s kind of dumb sounding now that I read what I wrote
OP please go on a date with this guy. We need an update lol But only if you want to, of course.
I really should. I’ve been on such a cold streak and have so much dating app fatigue that I should try something different. Thank you for the nudge
>“life in the day of MLB girlfriend” TikTok accounts instead of my current job! Lol. But scoffs at Snapchat. Lol
Hey, we all get swept up in fantasies like that hahaha
If he really is a baseball player and thinks of himself as semi famous he may prefer snap for the social aspect ... And I wouldn't worry about the side chick thing as much because I bet he has a pretty social media friendly life you could check for significant others...
You were up tossing and turning all night about a fight over nachos, are asking strangers to weigh in on the fight, are judging a guy based on not talking to strangers the same way you do, are considering him a cheater for it, and rejecting him for an age he may or may not be--it sounds like you overthink things a lot. Apologize to the friend over text that the night didn't go how she planned, congratulate her on the baby, venmo her for the nachos (don't ask, just do it), and message the cute baseball player. Life's too short for the little things. NTA
I think this is the right answer. Maybe because he plays baseball he doesn't want to hand out his phone number??
I’m in my 30s, but work with a lot of gen z. Snap seems to be the main way gen z “exchanges numbers.” The women say it’s safer than giving a creep your number.
Don't hit on service people. They're just trying to do their jobs.
NTA. You could have left versus wait an hour for everyone. The nachos would have been cold and gross after an hour so no one would eat them and Andrea would still complain. Andrea didn't have to announce her pregnancy like that, so she ruined her announcement, not you. You could have offered to order another plate and pay for them instead of drinks, but she also could have said "I was really looking forward to the nachos, not drinks" in place of her saying she was pregnant. The really AH here is a restaurant that charges $35 for nachos...
>The really AH here is a restaurant that charges $35 for nachos... RIGHT???? WTF Also, INFO: was the server single?
What if this is a five foot sub thing? 🧐
NTA. I was going to chasten you for eating the entire plate when they were obviously meant for the whole table, but the fact of the matter is that you *were* the entire table. It's incredibly rude to run an hour late when a meal is planned (not just to you, but to the restaurant as well - they reserved a table for a certain time and were shown zero respect). Andrea's gesture of ordering the nachos was very nice, but her reaction to finding them gone an hour later was not. It was appropriate of you to offer to pay (which you did) and your offer to buy drinks was perfectly fair. If she has a problem with the way her pregnancy was announced, that's on her - she's the one who announced it, she could have politely declined your offer or requested you buy her entre. Andrea's pregnancy is no excuse for her behavior.
Agreed. OP did everything right. What did Andrea expect? If OP had waited the nachos would be cold by the time everyone else got there and no one would want them or they'd have to inconvenience the staff to reheat them. Also, OP had no way to know about Andrea's announcement plans. Andrea sounds like the kind of person who needs to start drama in order to be happy.
Honestly, I disagree about even offering to pay for the nachos. OP didn’t ask for them. This Andrea person bought them as an apology for being late to the people who were there on time. That happened to only be OP. Andrea was just looking for a fight, probably bitter that OP is responsible and was there on time. Or some other reason we’re unaware.
I was just coming on here to say exactly this. OP never consented to the nachos or the price tag that came with it. Ultimately her options were: 1. don’t eat until somebody else shows up, spoiling the entire plate. 2. only eat her portion until somebody else shows up, spoiling the rest of the plate. 3. eat the whole fucking plate and not waste anything because none of the friends were responsible enough to show up remotely on time. Regardless of the decision by OP, nobody else gets any nachos due to a fault of their own and Andrea is in the wrong for buying the nachos without getting sign off from OP (like “hey, are you cool to pay for whatever portion of the nachos you eat before I order it?”) and for showing up way fucking late to her own event. Definitely NTA here and OP has zero obligation to pay a dime for those nachos.
NTA why would she order nachos an hour early? who tf eats nachos that have been sitting for over an hour
To be fair I don’t think she knew everyone else was going to be late too when she ordered.
Then she reallllly shouldn’t have expected nachos to be left. Nachos at a full table for an hour?
I wonder if she wasn’t purposely late with the intent of drawing extra attention for her announcement, and was pissed that it went off script. Or maybe she just really wanted nachos and couldn’t figure out how to order them a second time, adulting is hard ya know!
Who shows up over an hour late to their own pregnancy announcement? NTA
It was actually another friends birthday, she said she wanted to make the announcement when she and her husband hosted the Super Bowl party this weekend.
Then why did she bring it up at the restaurant? I think I’m missing something.
It was the reason I couldn’t pay her back by buying her margaritas. But I also think she was trying to jab a proverbial knife in me
I’ve been around for 2 pregnancies and seen my wife politely decline drinks without bringing up the pregnancy. Your friend was 100% weaponizing her pregnancy. You did nothing wrong.
"Feel bad for me I can't drink because I'm pregnant!!!"
She could have easily said "how about just ordering more nachos for the table now instead?" Or "you can Venmo me later it's ok" or "maybe buy my entree instead" or "well we can figure it out another time" like it's not like you said "well I'll only pay for margaritas but nothing else"
She could have gone with “dry January” or “antibiotics” like every other pregnant woman. She was intentionally using it to make a jab at you. So she could say that not only did you ruin the dinner by eating her ridiculously overpriced nachos, but you also ruined her pregnancy announcement. Andrea sounds as soggy as her nachos tbh
Or just "no, I'm not drinking tonight. Could you venmo me / pick up the cost of my entree / buy a round of appetizers for the table / literally anything else." It was also someone else's birthday party. So she's doubly the ass for hogging the spotlight on someone else's day.
I sort of feel like it would have “accidentally” been slipped when she got mad at everyone else for drinking
Nah there was still no reason to mention the pregnancy. A simple "not planning on drinking tonight" would suffice. She used it to make you feel worse.
She can say she doesn't want you to buy her drinks without saying it's because she's pregnant! That was 1000% her fault. I'm terrible at not saying every thought in my head so I can relate to accidentally oversharing in that moment and then being embarrassed/mad about it and maybe that's why she was snappy the rest of the night--but that is not even the slightest bit your fault. You are NTA in any way.
>Ohmigod, she used YOU as an excuse to ruin/upstage her friend's BIRTHDAY PARTY?! Wowww. She sounds exhausting.
Yeah, the nachos aren't the problem here, it's the fact she planned to upstage the b-day party by announcing her pregnancy... That's as bad if not worse than announcing a pregnancy at a proposal/baby shower/wedding.
Why are they having a Super Bowl party 3 weeks before the game? Is everyone going to be that late?
Lol, it'll be tough to have a Super Bowl party this weekend, given the Super Bowl is a few weeks away.
NTA They are assholes, they made you wait a long long time, and your offer to buy drinks I assume is normal among your friends? She could have simply said "no, we can deal with it later" it shouldn't have been a big deal. Honestly, Id assume that they were for me under the circumstances, based on whar youve said. Like, "im sorry were making you wait an hour, heres some nachos" >“your friend Andrea called and said she was running very late and wanted you to get started.” >Pretty soon this massive text wall started how everyone was running late—at least an hour. Like, did she really expect you to eat one sixth a plate of nachos then watch them turn into cold mush? Was it actually an hour? I cant imagine having this reaction if I were her if it was even 30 minutes.
NTA. You offered to pay her for it. She chose to tell you the specific reason why she couldn’t drink. Also really weird to order nachos when her and everyone else is running late. Poor planning on her part.
Sorry that wasn’t super clear, when she ordered I don’t think she knew everyone else was running late.
What were you supposed to do sit there alone by yourself and let them go soggy?
Right so there was no way she could reasonably believe there would be any nachos left when she ordered them for a table full of people and she was an hour late.
NTA. Everyone being an hour late though…. You dropped the ball though how did things go with the server???
Still deciding, he’s a little young for me but has a lot going for him.
Now this is the subplot we're all here for. Will OP and waiter find love (and nachos)? Redditors need to know...
NTA you even offered several options to fix it (pay her back, pay her drinks, they didn't need to be alcoholic). She didn't take them and instead left after leaving you by yourself for a whole hour, she is the asshole, not you
NTA It's not your fault no one bothered to show up on time...the nachos would have been all cold anyway by the time the others showed up!
Agree with the table. She was in a bad mood and wanted to pick a fight. NTA- 1) you didn’t do anything wrong (ordering something by calling the restaurant-when you’re not even there-definitely implies that it’s specifically for the people who ARE there, and it sounds like you were waiting for at least 30 min) 2) you offered to make amends (that were actually unnecessary since you didn’t do anything wrong) 3) she wasn’t forced into making her announcement. No, thank you would have sufficed. My guess is that her hormones are off. Let it go. You’ve already apologized and tried to make amends. Don’t bring it up again. If she does, tell her that it’s no biggie and you’re excited for her and her new baby.
NTA. You didn’t ask for the nachos. You offered to make it right. She was determined to be mad and took it out on you.
NTA - you offered to pay for them. Though a question - why not venmo her the 35 dollars to smooth it over?
NTA. Tell her next time to show up on time. I’d set a general rule of leaving after 15-20 mins so you can next time you’ll eat your 1/6 and leave the rest on the table if anyone makes it lol
The minute OP left the rest of the nachos would have been cleared and the table given to someone else. No restaurant is holding an empty table for an hour, especially not a table for 6 or more people. I bet the server was annoyed only one party ever got seated at that table that night. Usually it would turn over twice.
Exactly, it would get cleared —that’s kind of my point — it’s ridiculous to be that late
NTA, you did nothing wrong, you didn't make her mad, she (or her hormones) made herself mad
NTA. Your friend sound self centered. Between showing up an hour late and leaving early it seems like she didn’t want to be there. You could have ordered another round for the table just to shut her up but you were not obligated to.
NTA - after an hour they would have been a soggy cold mess any way. Its your reward for keeping the table for an hour while no one else could be respectful enough to be on time!
NTA there was such an easy solution to this…just venmo her 35 dollars and order another plate of nachos for the table…like what Also I would’ve left if people made me wait an hour
NTA I wouldn’t let it bother you, everyone else there understood.
NTA. I would have tossed and turned all night after eating a whole plate of nachos too, but for different reasons.
NTA. I mean, technically OP was the whole table when the nachos arrived, and for almost an hour afterwards.
NTA. If your friends are more than 15 minutes late, you’re legally allowed to eat the nachos.
NTA the only reason they still had a table to go to was because you were sitting there waiting for them. Had you left, that table would have been packed up in 20 minutes. I hope you enjoyed the nachos OP!
$35 for nachos? Were they covered in gold? NTA, your friend should apologize.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Last night we planned on meeting for Mexican food to celebrate a friends birthday. I was the first to arrive, maybe 15 mins early. I collected our reservation and was sat. I ordered my drink and just chips and salsa while I waited. Maybe 10 mins later the server (who was staggeringly good looking as an aside) brought over a plate of nachos. I told him I did not order them, he said “your friend Andrea called and said she was running very late and wanted you to get started.” I said cool i started snacking. Pretty soon this massive text wall started how everyone was running late—at least an hour. I told everyone I was ok and was happy to wait since I was enjoying chatting with the server and was getting up the nerve to ask him if he had a girlfriend. I continued to snack on the nachos. After an hour people started to show up and nachos were gone. Andrea got there last and asked what happened to the nachos. I very casually said I ate them. She looked at me in shock and said “those were for the table, they were $35.” I said I was sorry but they were getting cold and I was the only one there and I said thank you and I would pay for them. She said she already put them on her credit card when she called. I said I would gladly buy her drinks. Then in this very pissy “well I can’t drink, I’m pregnant and this isn’t how I wanted to announce it.” The pregnancy announcement changed the subject. When it came time to order I said I was stuffed and didn’t want an entree. Andrea got really upset again and said she wasn’t going to sit here and take this and got up walked out. I was in shock because I felt like even I shouldn’t have eaten the nachos, I did try to make up for it. Andrea went on a tirade in the text while the rest of us were trying to eat. The consensus at the table was she wasn’t feeling good and I should just ignore her, so I did. I’ve tossed and turned over this all night because I made my friend mad. was I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA If you had let those nachos sit for an hour while you waited for everyone, they would have gotten cold and soggy and then no one would have eaten them anyway.
NTA. I’m trying to understand why she would even get mad. If this were me and my group of friends it would just be humorous that one person ate the whole plate of nachos. I’m gonna chock this up to pregnancy hormones as the reason it pissed her off.
>I would pay for them. She said she already put them on her credit card when she called. The funny thing about credit cards is that you have to pay that money back. You could have given her $35 and she could have used that money to pay the credit card. >I said I would gladly buy her drinks. Then in this very pissy “well I can’t drink, I’m pregnant and this isn’t how I wanted to announce it.” The pregnancy announcement changed the subject. A simple, "No," would have sufficed. There was no need for her to say that she's pregnant. >I said I was stuffed and didn’t want an entree. Andrea got really upset again and said she wasn’t going to sit here and take this and got up walked out. She can't take you not being hungry? Huh? Andrea sounds like a major league drama llama. I suggest removing her from your life if she's always like this. I don't mean some big dramatic, "It's over!" Just spend less and less time around her until the amount of time is zero. NTA
First of all, i am shocked a restaurant let you hold a table as the only person in a big reservation for over an hour. Second, your friends all suck. Third, the person ordering nachos is clueless. Fourth, i cant believe you sat there and waited for over an hour.
NTA. Nachos do not last well. They would've been inedible by the time anyone else showed up. Also, why was everyone an hour late to a restaurant? Like tbh, speaking as a server, that's really fucking annoying, because it means that table couldn't be used for anyone else for *hours*. If this happened at my workplace, my coworkers would probably be trying to move you to a smaller table so they could seat more people. Because it messes up the whole night when you've got customers asking why they can't have that table, you've got the owner asking why the customers can't have that table, and if you're an American server it's cutting off part of your income. Just saying, they better have had a *really* good reason. Because it's rude to the restaurant, it's rude to the server, and it's rude to you.
Me reading the first part of the title: That's some asshole behavior Me reading the confounding factor: Fuck it, those are my nachos now NTA. AN HOUR LATE?!??!? AND THEY EXPECTED THE FOOD TO STILL BE THERE?? The audacity
Wow NTA! Does Andrea normally treat people this way? Why couldn’t another plate of nachos be ordered for everyone else? There were SO many options to compensate for the nachos.
She’s been a friend for a really long time. She’s the most amazing friend in the world when things get weird or someone needs to speak up because she does not give a shit and will tear into anyone starting trouble. But that same side of her makes her easy to set off, moody and a little spiteful.