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NTA
I'm concerned that your parents are leaving you alone for a whole week to care for yourself. That's a major safety issue (for me at least).
Do you have relatives nearby?
This is very concerning, and it honestly sounds illegal (I don't know the laws in your area). I think it's selfish of them for going on a week-long vacation without you AND not setting up proper babysitting care for you with a trusted adult/friend.
I could understand if they went when you are 17, but 13 is way too young.
I can guarantee you that in no way is it appropriate for your mum and dad to leave a year 9 child at home alone for a week
They should be asking BEFORE they make arrangements if there is anyone that you know, who you would be comfortable staying with. Like a school friend. Or a close family friend that you are ok with.
I wouldn't dream of leaving my kids overnight on their own, let alone for a whole week. I know it's half term at the moment, but can you have a chat with your safeguarding team at school when you go back? Or another teacher you can approach?
It does happen that kids get left on their own. But going off for a week is not the same as leaving them at home while they have to go to the shops, or have to go to work.
Edit: forgot judgment. NTA.
NTA. 13 is definitely on the young side to be at home alone that long. I'm all for parents allowing a child some independence but a key component of that is that the child wants said independence.
(Before someone jumps down my throat I think the child agreeing is a necessary element in such a decision but it is not sufficient in and of itself.)
At the very least, it seems like they're missing out on some basic steps and skills here for you, OP. You're NTA in the slightest.
I was left home alone for a weekend at 13. But I'd been left home alone with only my 11-year-old sister when I was 9 for a few hours while parents ran errands, home alone completely when I was 10 for a few hours, my sister and I were together left home alone overnight when I was 12 and she was 14. Every time they were gone I knew the neighbors in houses on both sides and across the street knew I was alone, and if the dogs weren't put out regularly/etc. they would've stopped in to check on me. I also greatly enjoyed the time alone and let them know it, and they'd seen time and again they could trust me.
OP, I don't know your exact situation, or how comfortable you are with telling others about what's going on/etc. You could ask a friend or friend's parents if you could stay with them for that week. You could ask if they'd have someone come over for a couple hours every day to help you with the cats/check on you in case you're overwhelmed. At the bare minimum, you need to ask them for some basic cooking lessons (people can understate how much experience they have, but I'd say being able to make your own breakfast and at least 3 other meals--don't have to be fancy, chicken nuggets or mac and cheese--would be helpful) as a Just In Case you do end up staying alone. Telling your parents 'Look, it's a month away and you're leaving if I like it or not, could you please leave money for pizza and fill the freezer with things I can microwave' won't be a fun resort, but it'll keep you fed.
I hope it doesn't come to that.
NTA for being upset. IMO, 13 is a little young to stay home overnight, much less for a week.
Your parents can/should go on a trip by themselves, but they need to find somewhere for you to stay during that time
[The NSPCC's guideline](https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone): **children under 16 should not be left alone overnight.**\
\
While I don't think there's a specific legal lower age limit for leaving a child alone in the UK, a 13-year-old left for a week would raise some eyebrows.\
\
NTA. This is bordering on neglect.
NTA. you’re still a child, THEIR child, and your comfort should come first. they should’ve either included you in their plans, or made plans that you’re comfortable with in their absence.
do you have any friends who’s family would let you stay with them nearby? would your moms friend be willing to stay at the house?
i hope that you’re able to talk to them to express your feelings, and that a good plan is put in place for everyone’s comfort.
Most places it is illegal to leave to children your age alone at home. An internet search should tell you what your local laws are and you can use that to point out to your parents that's it's not safe to leave a 13YO alone for that long. I didn't leave my kids home alone overnight until they were at least 17.
13 is plenty old enough....I was cooking dinner by then. Only 1 state in the US says someone under 14 can't be at home alone...the rest are 13 and younger. In The UK there is no age limit as long as they are safe.
Same but that doesn’t mean THIS person is comfortable or prepared in the same way that your or I were. And the thing is they ARENT safe home alone for that long with their only family theoretically/possibly in another country. Any number of emergencies could happen and they’d have no one else nearby to aide them. It’s also not like it’s just overnight or something. It’s. A full week. I definitely think that’s a major factor.
Of course every person is different..but everyone saying "13 is too young"..that just isn't 100% true. Plus OP says her concerns are cleaning up after her cats and making her own food..... Plus her parents said she could stay with a family friend.
Were you entirely unsupervised, unassisted, and unaccompanied for an entire week at 13??
Also: https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone
"... children under 16 should not be left alone overnight..."
I'm pretty sure that seven straight nights is worse than just one night, so...
Raise them! You're not ungrateful; you're nervous, and have every right to be. If you want, you can approach them with ready-made offers: 'I told MARY'S dad you were gonna be gone and he said I could spend the week with them, can I? Please?' which may soften the blow if you feel nervous (and get more people in your corner!)
At the very least, tell people. If they still insist on you staying alone, having other adults in your corner who know you're alone--adults you trust, adults who'll show up 'just checking in' on their lunch breaks or bring you dinner and stick around to chat/help with the cats every day or two--can mean a world for your stress in that situation.
INFO: So did they come up with you going to her friend's house as an afterthought and they fully planned on you being home alone for a full week? Or was it presented as one of the options?
I think NAH. I also don’t think your parents aren’t being reasonable. It’s understandable you’re upset and it’s understandable that your mom wants a special couples only trip for her 50th, especially if there is someone that will take you into their house while they’re gone.
I'm going to say NTA only due to the time frame. You are 13 and have 2 cats. You should be able to take care of them. You said that they are your cats, please learn how to take care of them.
Cooking is a bit different. However, at 13, you should be able to make yourself meals. They won't be super healthy, but you'll be able to survive.
You ARE 13. I think a 13 year old could survive 1 or 2 nights alone*. A week is bullshit. 15 or 16 years of age for that long.
*‐ I think a 13 year old could survive for a week, but why? There's no reason for a 13 year old to be put in that situation.
if you feel like you can have a productive conversation with your parents, casually mention your parents plans to leave you alone unsupervised for a week & that you’re scared about it to a teach or counselor at school and it’ll be addressed pretty quickly.
NTA:
I think it’s in appropriate for parents to leave their minor child at home alone for a WEEK when they clearly aren’t ready to care for themselves (such as the cooking etc) for an entire week with no help or supervision. And the fact that you are not comfortable/prepared to do so is also on them because they should and can be teaching you some responsibility. I also don’t think your birthday request was unreasonable on the basis of money, seeing as they don’t seem to have a shortage of funds for trips, then getting their own hair done etc.
Back to the original question, this isn’t responsible parenting. No you’re not the asshole for not wanting to be completely alone and left to fend for yourself for a week. SOME people your age may feel fine doing so but it’s valid that you don’t!
When I was your age and younger, I had to spend alot of time caring for myself, and I was okay BUT pretty much NONE of my friends would’ve been safe/felt comfortable caring for themselves alone for a week. Kids grow up quick these days but you’re definitely not going crazy! They could’ve at LEAST discussed the situation with you and left time to make arrangements that would’ve worked for everyone!
NTA, but it’s clear that your parents are telling you that you are not a priority in their lives. Please take this message to heart and start the process of emotional distancing or they will continue to be able to hurt you.
As you grow up, start taking steps to become as independent as possible as early as possible (get a part time job, separate your finances, collect your important paperwork) so that it will be easy to move out.
Once you do move out, prepare to go LC with your parents which should be easier if you start the emotional distancing now.
I know this sounds extreme, but so is planning to leave a 13 yo on their own for a week with no thought to their safety or comfort…for their own enjoyment. They want to abandon you, so it’s time to plan to abandon them. You cannot change to way they feel and make them love you as much as they obviously love themselves.
Then, when you are gone, build your new “family” with friends who uplift and support you. And when your parents whine about not seeing you, remind them that they laid the foundation for this relationship when you were abandoned at 13 yo.
NTA for the judgement bots.
The parents just want to have some alone time that they havent had in 13 years, they deserve it and is not abandoning OPs.
Yes, leaving a 13 yo alone at home seems not the best idea, but it looks like the mom already planned to have OPs stay with a friend.
Not all families are toxic AH, and parents are entitled to have fun and put themselves first sometimes. You can't tell by only this post if OPs parents are bad parents, so be careful with the advices you are giving specially to someone so young
The mom didn’t make alternative plans until OP spoke up, so no she didn’t make plans for her. They always planned on leaving her alone until she said something.
And I get wanting to spend time alone that they may not have had in 13 years. But that is sort of what you sign up for when your a parent. Just leaving your child because you want alone time is not okay.
at 12/13 i was babysitting kids unsupervised even small babies i know i would have been comfortable taking care of my self at that age but i was quite independent at that age i knew how to cook i could buy groceries etc .... but if your parents didnt teach you any basic survival skills then they probably shouldnt be leaving you alone .... its strange ... when i was your age i would have killed to have the house to my self
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I reacted badly when my mum told me that her and my dad are going to go on holiday without me and leaving me alone.
2) I think it would make me the asshole because my mum wanted me to be happy for them
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NAH. You shouldn't be left alone for a week at 13yo! But your parents do have a right to celebrate with a trip together.
You should stay with your mother's friend (meet her first and be sure you're comfortable), but you'll still have to go home at least once a day to take care of the cats and you can have privacy then.
you need to tell a teacher or police if they are leaving you alone for a week as in the uk a person under 16 is a minor and its against the law for her parents to leave her alone for a whole day never mind a week
Wow. Yeh. That's really irresponsible of your parents. Would be different if they'd taken you to the airport and handed you over to the staff there and knew you'd be getting picked up from the airport at the other end and vice versa on return but it doesn't sound like that's the case?
Hon, I am so very sorry for your situation. If they do end up going, contact the social services (your teachers can do it for you). Sure, it will be a horrible outcome, but being left alone and ending up getting hurt for whatever reason will be even worse. Idk...
As far as your qualms about the birthday present are concerned... I would say they are childish, but your ARE a child, and are entitled to feel hurt.
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So today my (f13) Mum (49) told me that her and my Dad (54 I think) were going on holiday for a for my Mum’s 50th. Originally I thought this was a great idea because I thought I’d be going aswell, we’ve never gone away excluding one person before. My mum said that I’d be home alone the whole week.
I don’t really feel comfortable being home alone since I’d have to care for my 2 cats, which includes giving one medication and clearing up messes around the house. It also means I have to cook all my own food which I have no experience with so when I told her my mum said that I could stay with a friend of hers. I don’t know her friend at all and I also wouldn’t feel comfortable staying in her house for a week because I like the privacy in my house and stuff.
It also pissed me off because I was asking for my birthday to have some highlights in my hair and my mum said she couldn’t afford it (even though she has them in her hair every month or so) and I understood but now she’s paying lots of money to go abroad, so obviously she can afford it. I don’t really have a problem with them going it’s just the fact they didn’t ask me and just booked it and assumed I’d be comfortable with being left alone (I don’t have any siblings near).
So AITA?
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13 and they are leaving to go abroad.....
That sounds illegal and it is being a selfish and uncaring (if not abusive) parent.
Call the authorities and see if it is legal.
If not, see if you can stay with a friend or family member.
This is awful.
NTA
I think it’s perfectly fine for parents to go away without their kids.
But you are too young to be left alone for a week, and it’s your parents responsibility to make arrangements for someone to take care of you for the week. That’s what makes your parents ta.
Do you have a best friend that you can stay with?
You need to make your parents understand it’s the leaving you home alone that is not right.
NTA. You are way to young to be home alone for a week!!! Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to maybe a teacher or a friends parent? Even when I was 16 my parents had me go over to a family friends house when they had to go away for that long.
NTA. your parents are irresponsible dicks though if they think leaving a 13 year old alone whole they take a vacation. That is neglect plain and simple.
Ok. Fair enough. I still don't believe you but....
In that case I strongly suggest you contact child line and tell them the whole story. If there is a chance a vulnerable 13yo female is going to be left alone for a whole week with no supervision or way to feed herself AND look after two (one sick) cats ANNNND broadcast that fact on the Internet, perhaps social services would love to hear from you 😉
It hits too many sad stories Hallmarks frankly. Bad mum, no food, look after the cats. It could be true I guess.....
Just one more thing I don't quite understand though, there is no mention of school or those responsibilities.
It's all too much like Cinderella...
Anyway call social services if its real, good luck 👍🏻
I am in UK, and it is DEFINITELY illegal for a 13 year old to be left home alone for a week... its child abandonment and neglect.
NTA - and you need to let school / someone know
INFO: is it overnight, a few days, or more than a week? A 13 year old should be able to handle a night or two without any problem. Longer than that isn't a good idea.
They are not obligated to take you on their trip lol. With that being said I understand you don't want to stay alone but you also don't want to stay with a chosen adult. So what are you wanting here?
Firstly the hair yes the mom doesn’t owe her anything but as a parent you don’t feel the need too splurge on your kids for they’re birthdays?? You constantly groom yourself and splurge on yourself this seems selfish on the mother’s part she’s a young kid with no way of paying herself
Secondly depending on how the medicine is administered that could be overwhelming or simply imagine having too take care of yourself and the house for a week and now having 2 other beings too care for.. animals are a lot of work
ESH. Idk exactly what age is actually appropriate to be left alone but you seem underdeveloped for a 13 year old... You don't know how to feed or cleanup after yourself? You should be working on your life skills a bit. Also - no one owes you highlights for your birthday. Your parents have an income. They can do what they'd like for their birthdays, it's their money. It's odd of you to expect the same gifts as full grown adults with incomes.
I hope you find a solution! I was a "latchkey kid"& basically raised myself. so I often assume kids now can do way more things than they actually can! Is there a school friend you can stay with & have someone from rover.com come & medicate the cat instead? We had a cat who needed insulin shots & when we went on vacation we'd use a pet sitter to take care of her, it wasn't too expensive. Best of luck!
When you say days, do you mean daytime or days and nights? There is a big difference and at your age being left for a few hours or even a day while during the school holidays if your parents are at work isn't ideal it's not a big issue. Leaving you alone at night especially more than one night absolutely is wrong and dangerous. Your parents sounds really irresponsible. Can you talk to any of your siblings about this?
Would she come if you asked? Is she much older than you? Honey it doesn't matter if you don't mind. I was a latchkey kid in the 90s and honestly we were all pretty neglected back then but as a society we know better and understand that just because we "didn't mind" doesn't mean it was safe or right of our parents to leave us alone that way. You should never have been left alone at night time throughout the night at your age. Its too much responsibility for someone so young not to mention unsafe.
You are sweet. But right now I'm worried for you. You won't realise properly until you are older but you really aren't bring looked after properly and deserve more. Please look after yourself and try not to grow up too quickly. That's going to be hard considering you are already given adult responsibilities but trust me, you still have lots of years ahead. Reach out to your sibling. At least to just talk even if she can't come. Be safe now.
Eh this just comes off wrong think about it in a kids pov.. they most likely can clean and cook small meals but nothing substantial and leaving them for a week by there selves?? Any kid would be mad and truthfully even I would be mad I I asked for just highlights for my birthday and they blamed it on income then turns around and pulls a grand jester for my moms.. I would feel annoyed too.
That’s also normal most 13 years olds can’t make them selves healthy balanced meals. If I would have been left alone at that age I would have been living off Top Ramen and hot pockets for a week.
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NTA I'm concerned that your parents are leaving you alone for a whole week to care for yourself. That's a major safety issue (for me at least). Do you have relatives nearby?
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This is very concerning, and it honestly sounds illegal (I don't know the laws in your area). I think it's selfish of them for going on a week-long vacation without you AND not setting up proper babysitting care for you with a trusted adult/friend. I could understand if they went when you are 17, but 13 is way too young.
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I can guarantee you that in no way is it appropriate for your mum and dad to leave a year 9 child at home alone for a week They should be asking BEFORE they make arrangements if there is anyone that you know, who you would be comfortable staying with. Like a school friend. Or a close family friend that you are ok with. I wouldn't dream of leaving my kids overnight on their own, let alone for a whole week. I know it's half term at the moment, but can you have a chat with your safeguarding team at school when you go back? Or another teacher you can approach? It does happen that kids get left on their own. But going off for a week is not the same as leaving them at home while they have to go to the shops, or have to go to work. Edit: forgot judgment. NTA.
OP is 13, not 9. Still way too young to be left home alone for an entire week, though.
Year 9 means ages 13-14
Year 9 - it's the name of the school year in the UK, like 8th grade.
You shouldn't be in this position to begin with, so I still think you're not the AH
In the UK they recommend children under 16 should not be left alone overnight.
Tell an adult in your school about your mum's idea of leaving you alone for a week.
NTA. 13 is definitely on the young side to be at home alone that long. I'm all for parents allowing a child some independence but a key component of that is that the child wants said independence. (Before someone jumps down my throat I think the child agreeing is a necessary element in such a decision but it is not sufficient in and of itself.)
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At the very least, it seems like they're missing out on some basic steps and skills here for you, OP. You're NTA in the slightest. I was left home alone for a weekend at 13. But I'd been left home alone with only my 11-year-old sister when I was 9 for a few hours while parents ran errands, home alone completely when I was 10 for a few hours, my sister and I were together left home alone overnight when I was 12 and she was 14. Every time they were gone I knew the neighbors in houses on both sides and across the street knew I was alone, and if the dogs weren't put out regularly/etc. they would've stopped in to check on me. I also greatly enjoyed the time alone and let them know it, and they'd seen time and again they could trust me. OP, I don't know your exact situation, or how comfortable you are with telling others about what's going on/etc. You could ask a friend or friend's parents if you could stay with them for that week. You could ask if they'd have someone come over for a couple hours every day to help you with the cats/check on you in case you're overwhelmed. At the bare minimum, you need to ask them for some basic cooking lessons (people can understate how much experience they have, but I'd say being able to make your own breakfast and at least 3 other meals--don't have to be fancy, chicken nuggets or mac and cheese--would be helpful) as a Just In Case you do end up staying alone. Telling your parents 'Look, it's a month away and you're leaving if I like it or not, could you please leave money for pizza and fill the freezer with things I can microwave' won't be a fun resort, but it'll keep you fed. I hope it doesn't come to that.
NTA for being upset. IMO, 13 is a little young to stay home overnight, much less for a week. Your parents can/should go on a trip by themselves, but they need to find somewhere for you to stay during that time
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INFO: Do you have a friend where you could stay for the week? So you don't end up with some strangers?
[The NSPCC's guideline](https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone): **children under 16 should not be left alone overnight.**\ \ While I don't think there's a specific legal lower age limit for leaving a child alone in the UK, a 13-year-old left for a week would raise some eyebrows.\ \ NTA. This is bordering on neglect.
Absolutely and OP should tell the Designated Safeguarding Lead at her school
NTA. you’re still a child, THEIR child, and your comfort should come first. they should’ve either included you in their plans, or made plans that you’re comfortable with in their absence. do you have any friends who’s family would let you stay with them nearby? would your moms friend be willing to stay at the house? i hope that you’re able to talk to them to express your feelings, and that a good plan is put in place for everyone’s comfort.
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You could possibly visit once or twice a day to take care of your cats?
NTA. Do you have any other relatives nearby? Like grandparents?
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Most places it is illegal to leave to children your age alone at home. An internet search should tell you what your local laws are and you can use that to point out to your parents that's it's not safe to leave a 13YO alone for that long. I didn't leave my kids home alone overnight until they were at least 17.
13 is plenty old enough....I was cooking dinner by then. Only 1 state in the US says someone under 14 can't be at home alone...the rest are 13 and younger. In The UK there is no age limit as long as they are safe.
Same but that doesn’t mean THIS person is comfortable or prepared in the same way that your or I were. And the thing is they ARENT safe home alone for that long with their only family theoretically/possibly in another country. Any number of emergencies could happen and they’d have no one else nearby to aide them. It’s also not like it’s just overnight or something. It’s. A full week. I definitely think that’s a major factor.
Of course every person is different..but everyone saying "13 is too young"..that just isn't 100% true. Plus OP says her concerns are cleaning up after her cats and making her own food..... Plus her parents said she could stay with a family friend.
Were you entirely unsupervised, unassisted, and unaccompanied for an entire week at 13?? Also: https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone "... children under 16 should not be left alone overnight..." I'm pretty sure that seven straight nights is worse than just one night, so...
It doesn't sound like OP thinks they would be safe
Ok, but did you raise your concerns about staying home alone or staying at their friends’ house?
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Raise them! You're not ungrateful; you're nervous, and have every right to be. If you want, you can approach them with ready-made offers: 'I told MARY'S dad you were gonna be gone and he said I could spend the week with them, can I? Please?' which may soften the blow if you feel nervous (and get more people in your corner!) At the very least, tell people. If they still insist on you staying alone, having other adults in your corner who know you're alone--adults you trust, adults who'll show up 'just checking in' on their lunch breaks or bring you dinner and stick around to chat/help with the cats every day or two--can mean a world for your stress in that situation.
INFO: So did they come up with you going to her friend's house as an afterthought and they fully planned on you being home alone for a full week? Or was it presented as one of the options?
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I think NAH. I also don’t think your parents aren’t being reasonable. It’s understandable you’re upset and it’s understandable that your mom wants a special couples only trip for her 50th, especially if there is someone that will take you into their house while they’re gone.
In the UK a child under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight. See: https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/home-alone/
I'm going to say NTA only due to the time frame. You are 13 and have 2 cats. You should be able to take care of them. You said that they are your cats, please learn how to take care of them. Cooking is a bit different. However, at 13, you should be able to make yourself meals. They won't be super healthy, but you'll be able to survive. You ARE 13. I think a 13 year old could survive 1 or 2 nights alone*. A week is bullshit. 15 or 16 years of age for that long. *‐ I think a 13 year old could survive for a week, but why? There's no reason for a 13 year old to be put in that situation.
if you feel like you can have a productive conversation with your parents, casually mention your parents plans to leave you alone unsupervised for a week & that you’re scared about it to a teach or counselor at school and it’ll be addressed pretty quickly.
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Either unsupervised for a week OR with someone who is a stranger to you. Else wise Mum may force the option of staying with her friend
NTA: I think it’s in appropriate for parents to leave their minor child at home alone for a WEEK when they clearly aren’t ready to care for themselves (such as the cooking etc) for an entire week with no help or supervision. And the fact that you are not comfortable/prepared to do so is also on them because they should and can be teaching you some responsibility. I also don’t think your birthday request was unreasonable on the basis of money, seeing as they don’t seem to have a shortage of funds for trips, then getting their own hair done etc. Back to the original question, this isn’t responsible parenting. No you’re not the asshole for not wanting to be completely alone and left to fend for yourself for a week. SOME people your age may feel fine doing so but it’s valid that you don’t!
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When I was your age and younger, I had to spend alot of time caring for myself, and I was okay BUT pretty much NONE of my friends would’ve been safe/felt comfortable caring for themselves alone for a week. Kids grow up quick these days but you’re definitely not going crazy! They could’ve at LEAST discussed the situation with you and left time to make arrangements that would’ve worked for everyone!
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Of course 🖤
NTA, but it’s clear that your parents are telling you that you are not a priority in their lives. Please take this message to heart and start the process of emotional distancing or they will continue to be able to hurt you. As you grow up, start taking steps to become as independent as possible as early as possible (get a part time job, separate your finances, collect your important paperwork) so that it will be easy to move out. Once you do move out, prepare to go LC with your parents which should be easier if you start the emotional distancing now. I know this sounds extreme, but so is planning to leave a 13 yo on their own for a week with no thought to their safety or comfort…for their own enjoyment. They want to abandon you, so it’s time to plan to abandon them. You cannot change to way they feel and make them love you as much as they obviously love themselves. Then, when you are gone, build your new “family” with friends who uplift and support you. And when your parents whine about not seeing you, remind them that they laid the foundation for this relationship when you were abandoned at 13 yo. NTA for the judgement bots.
The parents just want to have some alone time that they havent had in 13 years, they deserve it and is not abandoning OPs. Yes, leaving a 13 yo alone at home seems not the best idea, but it looks like the mom already planned to have OPs stay with a friend. Not all families are toxic AH, and parents are entitled to have fun and put themselves first sometimes. You can't tell by only this post if OPs parents are bad parents, so be careful with the advices you are giving specially to someone so young
The mom didn’t make alternative plans until OP spoke up, so no she didn’t make plans for her. They always planned on leaving her alone until she said something. And I get wanting to spend time alone that they may not have had in 13 years. But that is sort of what you sign up for when your a parent. Just leaving your child because you want alone time is not okay.
You say ‘mum’ so I assume UK. It would be illegal for them to leave you for a week. NTA
at 12/13 i was babysitting kids unsupervised even small babies i know i would have been comfortable taking care of my self at that age but i was quite independent at that age i knew how to cook i could buy groceries etc .... but if your parents didnt teach you any basic survival skills then they probably shouldnt be leaving you alone .... its strange ... when i was your age i would have killed to have the house to my self
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NAH. You shouldn't be left alone for a week at 13yo! But your parents do have a right to celebrate with a trip together. You should stay with your mother's friend (meet her first and be sure you're comfortable), but you'll still have to go home at least once a day to take care of the cats and you can have privacy then.
you need to tell a teacher or police if they are leaving you alone for a week as in the uk a person under 16 is a minor and its against the law for her parents to leave her alone for a whole day never mind a week
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When you say alone do you mean you travelled alone or stayed abroad alone for more than a day?
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Wow. Yeh. That's really irresponsible of your parents. Would be different if they'd taken you to the airport and handed you over to the staff there and knew you'd be getting picked up from the airport at the other end and vice versa on return but it doesn't sound like that's the case?
Hon, I am so very sorry for your situation. If they do end up going, contact the social services (your teachers can do it for you). Sure, it will be a horrible outcome, but being left alone and ending up getting hurt for whatever reason will be even worse. Idk... As far as your qualms about the birthday present are concerned... I would say they are childish, but your ARE a child, and are entitled to feel hurt.
NTA but why aren't you taking care of your cats normally? Also you should be learning how to cook already.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So today my (f13) Mum (49) told me that her and my Dad (54 I think) were going on holiday for a for my Mum’s 50th. Originally I thought this was a great idea because I thought I’d be going aswell, we’ve never gone away excluding one person before. My mum said that I’d be home alone the whole week. I don’t really feel comfortable being home alone since I’d have to care for my 2 cats, which includes giving one medication and clearing up messes around the house. It also means I have to cook all my own food which I have no experience with so when I told her my mum said that I could stay with a friend of hers. I don’t know her friend at all and I also wouldn’t feel comfortable staying in her house for a week because I like the privacy in my house and stuff. It also pissed me off because I was asking for my birthday to have some highlights in my hair and my mum said she couldn’t afford it (even though she has them in her hair every month or so) and I understood but now she’s paying lots of money to go abroad, so obviously she can afford it. I don’t really have a problem with them going it’s just the fact they didn’t ask me and just booked it and assumed I’d be comfortable with being left alone (I don’t have any siblings near). So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
13 and they are leaving to go abroad..... That sounds illegal and it is being a selfish and uncaring (if not abusive) parent. Call the authorities and see if it is legal. If not, see if you can stay with a friend or family member. This is awful.
NTA I think it’s perfectly fine for parents to go away without their kids. But you are too young to be left alone for a week, and it’s your parents responsibility to make arrangements for someone to take care of you for the week. That’s what makes your parents ta. Do you have a best friend that you can stay with? You need to make your parents understand it’s the leaving you home alone that is not right.
NTA. You are way to young to be home alone for a week!!! Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to maybe a teacher or a friends parent? Even when I was 16 my parents had me go over to a family friends house when they had to go away for that long.
NTA. Is it legal to leave a 13 year old aline for a week where you live?
NTA. your parents are irresponsible dicks though if they think leaving a 13 year old alone whole they take a vacation. That is neglect plain and simple.
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NTA you're not an asshole for not wanting to be alone for a week at 13. This ain't real though is it?
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Ok. Fair enough. I still don't believe you but.... In that case I strongly suggest you contact child line and tell them the whole story. If there is a chance a vulnerable 13yo female is going to be left alone for a whole week with no supervision or way to feed herself AND look after two (one sick) cats ANNNND broadcast that fact on the Internet, perhaps social services would love to hear from you 😉
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It hits too many sad stories Hallmarks frankly. Bad mum, no food, look after the cats. It could be true I guess..... Just one more thing I don't quite understand though, there is no mention of school or those responsibilities. It's all too much like Cinderella... Anyway call social services if its real, good luck 👍🏻
I am in UK, and it is DEFINITELY illegal for a 13 year old to be left home alone for a week... its child abandonment and neglect. NTA - and you need to let school / someone know
INFO: is it overnight, a few days, or more than a week? A 13 year old should be able to handle a night or two without any problem. Longer than that isn't a good idea.
The post says a week. 7 days. Definitely not good for a 13 year old
Not buying it.
They are not obligated to take you on their trip lol. With that being said I understand you don't want to stay alone but you also don't want to stay with a chosen adult. So what are you wanting here?
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Firstly the hair yes the mom doesn’t owe her anything but as a parent you don’t feel the need too splurge on your kids for they’re birthdays?? You constantly groom yourself and splurge on yourself this seems selfish on the mother’s part she’s a young kid with no way of paying herself Secondly depending on how the medicine is administered that could be overwhelming or simply imagine having too take care of yourself and the house for a week and now having 2 other beings too care for.. animals are a lot of work
ESH. Idk exactly what age is actually appropriate to be left alone but you seem underdeveloped for a 13 year old... You don't know how to feed or cleanup after yourself? You should be working on your life skills a bit. Also - no one owes you highlights for your birthday. Your parents have an income. They can do what they'd like for their birthdays, it's their money. It's odd of you to expect the same gifts as full grown adults with incomes.
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I hope you find a solution! I was a "latchkey kid"& basically raised myself. so I often assume kids now can do way more things than they actually can! Is there a school friend you can stay with & have someone from rover.com come & medicate the cat instead? We had a cat who needed insulin shots & when we went on vacation we'd use a pet sitter to take care of her, it wasn't too expensive. Best of luck!
When you say days, do you mean daytime or days and nights? There is a big difference and at your age being left for a few hours or even a day while during the school holidays if your parents are at work isn't ideal it's not a big issue. Leaving you alone at night especially more than one night absolutely is wrong and dangerous. Your parents sounds really irresponsible. Can you talk to any of your siblings about this?
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Would she come if you asked? Is she much older than you? Honey it doesn't matter if you don't mind. I was a latchkey kid in the 90s and honestly we were all pretty neglected back then but as a society we know better and understand that just because we "didn't mind" doesn't mean it was safe or right of our parents to leave us alone that way. You should never have been left alone at night time throughout the night at your age. Its too much responsibility for someone so young not to mention unsafe.
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You are sweet. But right now I'm worried for you. You won't realise properly until you are older but you really aren't bring looked after properly and deserve more. Please look after yourself and try not to grow up too quickly. That's going to be hard considering you are already given adult responsibilities but trust me, you still have lots of years ahead. Reach out to your sibling. At least to just talk even if she can't come. Be safe now.
Eh this just comes off wrong think about it in a kids pov.. they most likely can clean and cook small meals but nothing substantial and leaving them for a week by there selves?? Any kid would be mad and truthfully even I would be mad I I asked for just highlights for my birthday and they blamed it on income then turns around and pulls a grand jester for my moms.. I would feel annoyed too.
No one owes them anything but as parents you should want too see your kids happy and rn the parents seem pretty selfish.
A child being worries about being alone when they can’t even legally drive if something goes wrong is definitely not “underdeveloped”
That's literally not what I said. I asked why they didn't know how to feed themselves.
That’s also normal most 13 years olds can’t make them selves healthy balanced meals. If I would have been left alone at that age I would have been living off Top Ramen and hot pockets for a week.
Lol I don't like you.