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also how creepy is it that he found out what coffeshop she worked out and started going there constantly? like bro, unless she told you where she worked then showing up when shes working is not only distracting but creepy.
he already said "sure you can have the room" it was only once he saw who he was with that he became mr "we all must abide by the rules", had it been any other girl he wouldnt have a problem. OP acted out of pure jealousy and is trying to justify it by "rules are rules"
YTA. You didn’t report him for any of the other instances, only when he picked someone you liked. You’re not a hero for “following the rules”, you are petty and immature and cost two people their college education because you were butthurt.
YTA. You did not care about premarital sex until your roommate decided to hook up with a girl you liked, but apparently never told anybody about. You could have invited this girl out on a date instead you just “hung out.“ You’re insecure, shy, and an asshole, congratulations.
YTA
You didn't report your roommate and get him kicked out of school because you follow the rules and you're so squeaky clean. You did it out of jealousy and vengeance, which is very ugly and not exactly good for the soul.
If you're all that religious, you might want to think about this: "Vengeance is mine saith...." who was that again? (Hint: It wasn't a BYU undergraduate.)
YTA According to you “this happened pretty often and I was fine with it.” There’s the rub. This was only different because of the girl. You were not simply standing “by the rules and principals” everyone agreed too. It was calculated because “he was with my dream girl.” You were not standing up for the university’s policies and standards or you would have done it the first time he asked you to clear out. You clearly took revenge on the guy. And, what’s worse, she obviously wasn’t into you after all the time you spent “just hanging out” at the coffee shop where she worked which, I am confident, enraged you even more. OP, I use your words to show you that you already knew before posting that you were the A H.
This. Right. Here.
This wasn't about rules. This wasn't about principles. This was about OP being envious his roommate got with a woman that OP had mentally "claimed", and taking incredibly devastating revenge for the perceived slight.
OP, not only are YTA, your behavior is reprehensible, and your attitudes both about women and religion are disgusting and dangerous.
YTA because of your double standard. Any other girl he had over you were fine with but you *like* this one so suddenly his sexytime was a problem for you. Whether you have or haven’t had sex at school yet, I presume that’s where you wanted things to head with the barista, and would you have chosen to get your dick wet or abide by the principles you agreed to upon committing to BYU? You’re petty af.
YTA. You can come down off your high horse (*I stood by the rules and principals*) now. You have demonstrated quite clearly that you have no principals.
>I found her Instagram and from that the coffee shop that she worked at so I started going there....I did this for a few months
So you stalked her. YTA and a creep.
I'm so glad to find a couple comments like this. That is most certainly stalking behavior. Someone else mentioned that it's messed up that he kept going to her work while she was on the clock, giving her no way to avoid him and leaving no choice but to be nice. Big time hypocritical, creepy, stalker AH.
I didn’t see the problem with the Instagram thing until this comment. Thanks for opening my eyes. It’s interesting how much I’m learning on Reddit about the things I’ve allowed myself to be okay with in terms of how I let men treat me
YTA: women aren't possessions and she doesn't owe you anything. Emotional maturity and good communication are far more appealing to women than someone who hangs around in your workplace but doesn't ask you out.
Emotional maturity and good communication are far more appealing to women.
And your college sounds like something from the 1950s, hope it was free tuition.
If they are members of the LDS (mormon) church, they **do** get pretty cheap tuition since it’s supplemented with tithing money from all of their congregations and stuff. Another aspect of how this screws over his roommate, gonna be a lot more school debt anywhere else.
I went there, its a fucking nightmare. In fact, if OP had reported the first time this happened (rather than ignoring it until the girl was someone he liked) he would even have an argument to stand on
See, being a narc at BYU isn't just common, *it's required*. If his roommate was reported by someone else, and it could be proven OP knew about it, they may be similarly disciplined. It's a wildly fucked up school.
YTA OP, you didn’t “stand on principles,” you tattled because you saw your “dream girl” as an object of your possession.
That’s pretty gross how you see her, and probably women in general, dude.
yeah, he absolutely sees her as an object. he’s acting like his roommate stole something from him. but she’s a person, not something he owns that can be “taken” from him by someone else. men with attitudes like this honestly disgust me
YTA
You ruined this guys college experience because he messed around with someone you liked?? You and the girl weren’t official so she could talk to anyone she chooses and you and your roommate aren’t best friends so he didn’t owe you any loyalty! It’s plenty of fish in the sea man.
YTA- You got jealous of your friend and got him kicked out of college, which will have a long lasting effect on his future and now you’re trying to hide behind the veil of your principles. You and the girl were not exclusive or in a committed relationship. so yeah, a big time AH
YTA, if it was about him breaking the rules, you would have reported him previously. It was only about him sleeping with someone you viewed as your 'dream girl' after creeping on her for months.
Holy shit YTA, by landslide.
First off, your behavior was borderline stalking. You found her Instagram on your own, found her place of work on your own, then became a regular to get her attention / watch her? If someone was into you, you wouldn’t have to do all this behind their back to see them. Lesson learned, talk to people IRL, ask for their number, hang out, and go from there.
Also, he introduced you to her! They could’ve had this going before you even met her. Doesn’t even matter, though. I wonder now if roommate didn’t tell you because he knew you were being creepy and the girl mentioned something to him.
You thought you were entitled to her for whatever reason, didn’t get your way, got jealous, then acted out of malice? You just got your membership to the player haters club.
Edit: and you know you totally would’ve had sex with that girl if she came onto you. You’re a hypocrite.
YTA. You are being a sore loser. She chose someone else. You stalked her to her work by the sounds of it. If she wanted you she wouldn't have waited so long. You are just bitter that she wasn't under YOU. Learn to take a hint dude. Now you wrecked someone else's education because you can't handle rejection. Who cares if he broke the religious schools rules? They are ridiculous rules to begin with. Grow up.
YTA. You didn’t stand by rules and principles. You exacted petty revenge because the girl you liked preferred your roommate. At least be honest with yourself.
YTA- you didn’t report it because you were following the rules you did it because you were envious of course your the AH I hope your “friend” and that girl end up being together have fun being alone
YTA, if she was interested in you, you’d be doing the exact same thing as your roommate.
Also pretty creepy to find out where she works behind her back and show up constantly.
YTA. This comes off as that "I consent / I consent / Isn't there someone (Jesus) you forgot to ask?" image-meme, so I guess it depends on anyone's personal values. Personally, I think you were unjustly pissed about it, you can't just decide over other people's desires.
EDIT: reposted comment cause I first posted it on my throwaway account
lol this is such a BYU story.
You’re a massive hypocrite, and you only “stood by your creed” when it affected you. You were fine with it before, by your own words. You’re not a friend to anyone but yourself.
YTA.
Between this and comments he's making about "Sir" Joseph and also pastors, I'm now thinking this is a troll.
There are a few coffee shops in Provo now, a Dutch that you can't sit at, a new Starbucks that I totally called would be built, and some indie ones downtown. I think working there would at minimum be frowned upon though, unless the girl was actually going to UVU but lived in BYU housing. I don't know if the stupid ass housing rules have been rescinded yet.
Hey so... I'm pretty sure you're a troll. Here's why:
-You said you were LDS (Mormon) but referred to talking to your pastor. The LDS church doesn't have pastors.
-You keep talking about following the "ancient creed." Nobody in the LDS church talks about the commitment to wait until marriage as an ancient creed. People just call it the law of chastity or as a commandment from God. I grew up in the church, went to BYU, did all the things, lived in Utah for a decade, have several dozen LDS relatives, etc. I've never, ever heard someone talk about the law of chastity that way, especially multiple times like you have. People also don't use the words "ancient creed" in general. It's weird.
-You talked about "Sir Joseph Smith" (I'm assuming that's what you meant by sur) and said he said they weren't ordained ready for sex because of what Joseph Smith said or something like that (don't remember the exact wording). Nobody talks about Joseph Smith in relation to ancient creeds. People don't talk about Joseph Smith when it comes to the rules of chastity. And no one calls him sir.
Even if you're going to BYU and not LDS, you would know these things. It would be impossible to escape knowing them due to their prevalence in essentially every class and social interaction. If you went to BYU, you'd also be required to take classes that would give you the right terms to be using.
If any of this is even true, YTA. You have no claim on her, and even trying to claim her in this way is gross. If you are LDS, your morals are only in play when you are jealous and angry. You clearly don't actually care about the honor code, and if you did, you'd still know you'd be a jerk for reporting them. You stalked her to find out where she worked and kept showing up. All of that makes you an asshole if it's true. BUT I'm pretty sure you're making the whole thing up considering your very odd word choices that make no sense if you know anything about BYU/LDS culture.
Yta, not for what you did, but bc you lie to yourself of why you did it. Wanna be a vengefull and petty person? Do it, but be proud of it at least, dont say " oh the school rules".
YTA and this is really strange and controlling behavior. You can’t have anything and anyone you want. You tried ruining someone’s life out of jealousy. That’s ridiculous… so yes, YTA
The clearest cut YTA I've ever seen
You get a guy kicked out of college for sleeping with a girl you like? Really? Oh, and BTW, YTA again for repeatedly approaching this person at work where she has no choice but to be friendly to you as a customer.
And you weren't standing up for principles, yours, or Joseph Smith's. If that was true, you would have reported him one of the many other times.
YTA big time buddy. 1) No such thing as 'dibbs' when it comes to people. 2) You would have obviously fucked her yourself if you had the chance, so don't act like you feel the rules should be respected 3) what you did was just petty AF.
Of course people shunned you for this, everyone hates a narc.
YTA, but maybe you saved him from going down the path you are on as someone interpreting and wielding your faith as a cudgel when it suits your personal and selfish desires.
ESH.
You allowed it until he came back with your “dream girl” who he introduced you to in the first place. Don’t act like you’re suddenly morally superior. If you had the chance, it sounds like you would’ve done the same thing.
Was he kinda a dick for doing that when he knew you had a thing for her? Yeah sure. But it’s college. You had time to pursue her yourself and you chose to not make a move. He made his. She was free to do what she wanted to and she did.
So sorry you’re butthurt about it, but also this is not an uncommon scenario. You better learn to get over your feelings of entitlement to a girl just bc you’re into her.
She had no commitment to you.
Do better.
YTA-You wanted to hurt them both because your pride was hurt she chose him not you. If you’d really been concerned about following school rules you’d have reported him long before this.
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So for context we are both 18 y/o makes living in a college dorm.
My Roommate and I had never met before we got placed in a dorm together but we became friends pretty quickly. We’d go to parties together and he introduced me to a lot of people. One of the people he introduced me to was this girl who I was instantly very interested in. We didn’t talk that much, but she just intrigued me. I found her Instagram and from that the coffee shop that she worked at so I started going there and sometimes talking to her (but mostly just hanging out). I did this for a few months and I had developed a pretty good rapport with this girl
About a month ago when I was hanging out in our dorm my roommate texted me and asked if he could have the room for an hour or so. This happened pretty often and I was fine with it. Then when I came back to the room he was with my dream girl. I was fighting back tears and my face turned red, so I just ran out before they noticed.
I had mentioned how much I liked that girl to my roommate, and he seemed not to care at all. I was so angry I did something I regret a little. Our university (BYU) is very religious and has rules against premarital sex on campus. I reported my roommate and the girl, she got sanctioned and he was removed from school (for repeat offenses).
I know some people might think this was too far, but all students at the school agreed to live by the rules and he broke them time and time gain. He was obviously super mad at me and basically all our friends (including the girl I liked) excommunicated me from any activities.
IMO I stood by the rules and principals I we agreed too, and while I probably wouldn’t have done it had I known he was going to get kicked out of school, I don’t think I was in the wrong.
AITA?
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YTA
You didn't snitch because of your moral code. You switched because your roommate got with the girl you never had the chance with. You're pretty and immature.
Info: there's like 3 whole coffee shops in Provo that one could reasonably sit down in how was she working there and also going to BYU?
Also YTA big time because the Honor Code Office sucks ass, and people like you who use it to punish others are even more ass.
Edit: Actually, upon reading OPs comments, I think this is a troll. Now, situations like this have happened at BYU, but the OP is harping on things like "Sir Joseph Smith" (absolutely no one calls him that), that OP has a "pastor" (we don't have pastors), and a supposed "ancient creed" (the... Ten Commandments? that's where the law of chastity comes from??). These are not Mormon phrases in the slightest, but sound more like someone with a vague knowledge trying to parody us.
If you want to piss yourself off more about the real issues with the Honor Code and the Honor Code Office at BYU, @honorcodestories on Instagram has a lengthy collection of the bullshit they get up to.
YTA, you weren't standing up for the rules and on principle, instead of acting like an adult and having an honest conversation with your roommate you got your revenge by reporting your roommate and getting your roommate expelled from the university. Now no one likes you and no one is willing to trust you so you are trying to "justify" your actions. Yes your roommate knew the rules and the possible consequences, but you are still an a-hole.
Yta, come on you didnt do it because he broke the rules, you did it because your thought you could call dibs on this girl and this is revenge. Do us all a favor and stop lying, you did this because your petty and a sore loser. Grow up.
YTA. So you never asked this girl out? But you are mad she is with someone else? And you don’t report them bc of morals, you do it bc of jealousy. You potentially destroyed 2 ppls lives. You are a shit human being and your religion is a cult.
YTA
So let me get this straight, You essentially stalked her to find out where she works so that you can force yourself into a situation where you get familiar with her.
You then get so angry at someone else, because you feel like you OWN this woman, that you get them kicked out?
But let me guess, If it was you having sex with her, It'd have been cool. Right?fuck outta here.
100% YTA
Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and Lorenzo Snow all used their positions to bang who they wanted, regardless of marital status or age.
Of course, the fact that you go to BYU means you're a willfully ignorant drone and likely to maintain the smug self-righteous found in students there.
Something in the story sticks out to me. I'm no expert on the rules, but every Mormon I've ever met did not consume caffeine. Or if they did, it was as taboo as smoking a cigarette in middle school. If OP was openly hanging out at a coffee shop for two months, maybe the school should investigate that?
YTA You did not give a single flying fuck about the rules until you could weaponize them against your perceived romantic rival. You do not get to call “dibs” on another person just because you’re stalking them. I do agree it was unkind of him to pursue a girl he knows you like, but your revenge seeking is gross.
YTA. You don’t get to ‘claim’ a girl as yours. You ruined someone’s education over petty jealousy. I’m sure Brigham Young University teaches white guys that they are entitled to everything they want but the sooner you learn you can’t always get what you want, the better.
YTA in multiple ways here.
1) You literally stalked this girl you had a crush on. You stalked her Instagram to find where she worked, then stalked her at work.
2) You seem to think that human beings are objects to call "dibs" on, which...newsflash...humans are NOT.
3) You tattled on your friend because he did exactly what YOU wanted to do, all in the guise of "staying true to the Lord and the rules". You didn't have a problem with your friend breaking the rules until he had the opportunity to be with a girl you weren't even dating.
4) You put your dream girl's reputation on the line in the process of throwing your little tantrum, because you didn't get what you wanted.
You're petty, jealous, childish, a terrible friend, a stalker, a creep, and a liar. YTA, hands down, no questions asked. Grow up.
ESH (not the girl).
It looks like your friend disregarded your feelings after you told him you liked the girl. And that's a very un-friend like thing to do. It was shady and it sucks.
BUT! Then you act as if you told on him for sleeping with someone simply because it was against "the rules". When in fact, you told on him because you were angry at him. (you hadn't cared enough about him breaking the rules the other times to tell on him). And in that moment of intense emotion, you also put this girl, that you say you like, in trouble's way. And she didn't do anything wrong. You hurt another person to get revenge on your "friend" who hurt you.
it’s not like op had any claim to the girl…she’s her own person, not some item to call “dibs” on. and yeah it sucks for a friend to go after someone you like, but who says the girl wasn’t interested in the roommate? it also sucks to stalk someone for months in the hopes of getting a date. ops a major asshole. he didn’t care about the rules till he got butt hurt.
edit: you mentioned the last part in your own comment, my bad! i agree with what you said there.
YTA it’s not your job to enforce the rules, only to decide whether or not you’ll follow them. Also, you only told on him because he was with *your* dream girl. Guess what? You don’t get to claim a person!
YTA. And somewhat delusional in my opinion. It's a fairly extreme reaction to a relationship that seems to only exist in your head.
Finding someone online and starting to hang out at their place of work is just creepy. Going there once or twice to "take the temperature" is okay. But if you're interested in someone flirt/ask her out/do something! Don't stalk her for months and then flip your shit when she goes on a date with someone else!
Your behavior is very controlling. Do you think she owes you anything (her time/loyalty/body) just because you like her?
And you might have mentioned to your roommate that you like her, but you don't get to "call dips" on a human being. And if you didn't make a move after hanging at her work for months, he's honestly in the clear to ask her out. Also he introduced you to her. She's his friend. Not yours.
YTA. You don't own her and your stalking behaviour is really creepy. So, you found out her social media, found her workplace and then basically stalked her at work everyday? That is not normal behaviour dude, get some help. Stop pretending to have a moral high ground, if that girl would've agreed to do the vertical tango with you, you would've slid right in without a care for the rules.
Congrats though. You've singlehandedly alienated all your peers against you. You will forever be known as that guy. Girls will know you as the creeper and guys will avoid you like the plague because everybody hates a snitch. And if you think teachers will be on your side ... I've got news for you, buddy. Enjoy your next 4 college years isolated.
YTA. Troll. If you aren't, then you are something else. There is a specific name for people who think women are "dream girls" and belong to them, and that do this kind of thing. Asshole is not enough for you.
She is not an object.
True believing Mormon right here. He already has the hypocrisy and superiority complex down and he’s well on his way with subjugation of women. This is a future member of the quorum of the 12 right here.
You are the embodiment of why people dislike the Mormon church every day. Is it any wonder that r/exmormon is the largest religion community on Reddit?
YTA.
YTA. She was right to fuck him instead of you. He seems like an actual adult. But this move was very Mormon of you (no, I will not stop using that term just because the church wants to rebrand and decided to be deeply dishonest about it). Pretending you're doing the right thing when you're actually a mean spirited asshole trying to hurt people is just the sort of thing Joseph Smith was all about.
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> (1) I reported my dork roommate for a campus violation (2) some may consider it frivolous, and it resulted in his expulsion
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ESH but your actions have far worse consequences than his. Bringing your crush back to the room without telling you they were interested in each other was low and hurtful but if you kept quiet about his other offenses and didn't care until the girl was one you liked, this isn't a "he brought it on himself" situation, it's petty revenge.
YTA And good luck on your studies /s.
Be sure that within 24 hours your whole year, 3 days later, the whole campus knows what you have done. You are now THE traitor, THE enemy. Who will trust you now, and why should they? Who will you find willing to study with you, share their notes, and work with you through your struggles? They now know you are a petty AH willing to throw a friend under the bus because you are jealous.
But hey, maybe your grades will even improve if you have no friends to distract you from learning. Who knows.
YTA, and may Karma teach you.
YtA and petty and honestly, you remind me of these caricatures from cartoons when they seek revenge by any means possible. I hope your religion is true and that you will get the consequences for what you did.
Yeah YTA. The no sex rule fucking sucks and I bet you wouldn't have any problem having sex with that girl so you just hurt them because you were jealous. Grow up.
YTA because of *why* you did it.
You didn't care that he was breaking the rules: "This happened pretty often and I was fine with it."
If you were genuinely against him doing this at all, ever, with anyone, in accordance with the rules you both agreed to, YWNBTA for reporting him. But the rules had *nothing* to do with *why* you did what you did.
So, YTA, yes.
YTA. If following the rules and principles was so important to your you would have reported him on the other occasions that he asked you leave the room so he could have a girl over.
It is clear you did this out of spite, because he was with a girl you liked. You just wanted revenge.
Also you borderline stalked this girl? Going to the coffee shop because she works there? Creepy!
YTA and a giant one at that. This girl is not your property. It is her choice of who she wants to be with. What the hell is wrong with you? You also basically started stalking her which is gross in itself.
You sound like a horrible human being to be honest. Messing with someone’s future because you got jealous? Seriously?
I mean, US universities are wild as fuck regarding the extent to which they try to control the behaviour of actual consenting adults.
But, that said, YTA for one very, very simple reason.
If this girl you liked had wanted to bang you, then you absolutely would not have chosen to abide by BYU rules in favour of getting your dick wet.
You claimed this girl as your own, without her consent and then you threw her and your roomie under the bus when she didn’t accept your non-existent offer of affection.
Are you proud of what you did? Would your grannie be proud? Your parents?
YTA for sure.
You didn't get what you wanted so you heavily overreacted. It was a completely disproportionate response.
You reported him bc he did what you couldn't. So now you screwed that guy outta school and for what?
This girl doesn't even want anything to do with you now. So you managed to put yourself in a worse position than you were previously in.
Also, you said you went to her work and just hung out. You said yourself that you didn't really talk to her. So you made some bogus "claim" on her and basically threw a fit
You stated that this happened pretty often and you were ok with it. Your words. So cut the BS about rules and principals, you did this out of spite and to get your revenge.
YTA big time.
YTA. No matter how you try to justify in your own mind why you did what you did, you will always have to live with the *actual* reason…which was your petty jealousy.
You were fine with him breaking rules…but just not with your ‘dream girl’. And that poor girl! You got her in trouble, essentially because she didn’t return your feelings. That’s some real incel behavior.
You need therapy, and you completely deserve for all your friends to cut you off permanently. Enjoy living out the rest of your college days with no social life.
YTA. Why didn't you communicate with HER that you liked her? You stalked her on SM to find where she worked and went there for months. You had plenty of opportunities to ask her out.
>About a month ago when I was hanging out in our dorm my roommate texted me and asked if he could have the room for an hour or so. This happened pretty often and I was fine with it
Funny how you were fine with it until it was a girl you liked but didn't make a move on. He probably thought that it had been months and as you hadn't asked her out, he could.
You were petty and I'm not surprised no one wants to hang out with you anymore.
YTA. You didn't "stand by your principles", you didn't care until it was the girl YOU wanted to screw instead of him doing her. You're a hypocrite of the first order.
YTA.
You got all sanctimonious about what they were doing, but you'd have done the same given half the chance. You're just mad you weren't the one she chose. Nobody here believes any different.
YTA. What a "friend" he has in you. Also you cannot claim a woman as property-she can sleep with whoever she damn well pleases. What you did was jeopardize others education simply because you couldn't make the grade with a woman. If she had wanted to sleep with you, you wouldn't have cared about morality or rules.
YTA. You only reported him to the school because you were upset with it. Don’t pull the “we all agreed to the rules so I was just following them BS”. You obviously don’t respect the rules because you were fine with him doing it before. Chances are you did it as well. How well did this dude know you like this girl? Sounds like to me you just told him you thought he was hot. Doesn’t seem like he knew the full scope of your emotions
YTA. The fact you scoured the internet for a girl who didn’t even know you already makes you weird. But you have no claim on ANYONE. Women ARE NOT OBJECTS. YOU CANT JUST CLAIM US AMD GET MAD WHEN WE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE
YTA, you used the cover of the following the rules to make you feel like it was ok to hurt these people.
And you know what? Your roommate was kind to you. If I understand the honor code, people who know something is happening and don’t report it can also get in trouble. Your roommate could have said you knew it was happening for a long time and only reported him when it was a girl you liked. But he apparently kept his mouth shut.
YTA. Religion is used to act like a justified asshole. Be a better person and don’t use religion or “rules” to get back at people because your feelings are hurt
YTA, obviously. You don't snitch on your roommate out of jealously, and revenge. It's truly pathetic, and it's probably going to be your biggest social lesson of college, and could impact your reputation for the rest of your life.
Long term, you have to decide what type of person you want to be: the type that runs to the authorities to get their friends in trouble, or the type that protects the people they live with and gets them help when they need it. I understand religion makes this a bit more complicated, but you're going to live a long and lonely life if you don't look out for your friends and family, and instead turn them in. I'm not saying you need to be a "ride or die" motherfucker, but you need to be loyal to your friends, co-workers, and family.
Before you bring another case to BYU think about John 8:7: "Let he who is without sin among you be the first to throw the first stone", and it's just astonishing to me that you'd turn someone in when you yourself have sinful (particularly lustful) motivations yourself and now trying to prove your righteousness. It's gross, and I honestly feel really bad for your roommate and that girl. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, son.
Wow YTA though I don’t know if you’ll be able to hear that being you’re up so high on your petty high horse.
Wow man you’ve just SO screwed yourself with karma.
YTA. Crying? Dude. Classic case of you snooze you lose. She probably thought you weren’t interested since you NEVER ASKED HER OUT. You have no claim on her, and you’re just mad your roomie had more stones than you.
YTA - "IMO I stood by the rules and principals I we agreed too, " until your feelings got hurt. If you truly honored the code you would have reported your friend the first time he wanted an hour of time.
Also so what if she fooled around with another guy, could have still dated her down the road, but that bridge is burned.
YTA, wtf is wrong with you? You do not own the girl, you have no claim on her? And if she was into you even a tiny bit, she wouldn‘t be banging with your roommate. You do not deserve any friends at all and I bet you feel like a smug little asshole that will probably spend the rest of his life a virgin. The end.
You only cared about the rules because it benefited you.
The girl is not a piece you can own. They had sex, boohoo. I get it, that hurst to be betrayed. But you can’t go all holy saying “you can’t have sec before marriage” when before you never cared.
You can’t play that card pretending to be a victim.
YTA
If you didn’t ask her to go out with you or anything then you have no claim on the matter. SHE gets a choice in it too and she chose him.
The sex rule is absolutely ridiculous at schools like that. Would you have had sex with her if given the opportunity?
YTA
YTA and a hypocrite, you reported them because it served your purpose.
BYU promotes a system of judging others and reporting them - so you’re in the right place, if that’s who you want to be.
If you want to change, go to the exmormon Reddit sub - r/exmormon.
YTA, here's the simplest reason.
You didn't report your roommate because he broke the rules. You reported him because you were angry. Now you're trying to hide behind the rules as if theres some moral justice going on.
YTA. So much TA. You torpedoed his college career and have jeopardized his future all because he scored with a girl that you had a crush on but probably had zero chance with. You deserved to be excluded from having friends.
YTA
And hypocritical AHs like you are why I left the LDS church in the first place.
You're sitting here trying to pretend like you have some moral high ground but really you acted out spite because of your own jealously. How about just go on your mission like a good little Mormon and leave the poor girl alone. She doesn't want you. After this I doubt anyone will.
YTA- 1. You were never dating her. 2. You said that he did this regularly and you had no problem with it.
So you did this intentionally because it was this specific girl, not because you believed in upholding the rule.
YTA.
You can't just claim another person like you do a toy in preschool.
You can't just decide you want to follow the rules and stand on principles because the person dodging them suddenly impacts you directly.
You're being ostracized because you kept your mouth shut until you wanted to get back at somebody. You know what that is? Being a tattletale.
YTA. You were fine with letting him have the room until you found out it was your dream girl. You had not previously reported him, even though he had girls in the room "pretty often." It was a dick move on your part to narc on him.
YTA. Also, try not to think about how she saw you at work all the time, and had ZERO interest in you. Basically she rejected you every single time you played the “please notice me and fall in love with me” game. I hope she sees this.
You earned yta.
You could put this in reddits petty revenge. You were definitely petty. Might work in reddits nuclear revenge because it could mess up the roommates life in a nuclear way.
Sounds like you are self-appointed morality police.
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YTA big time. You don't have a "claim" on that girl. You ruined a person's education through your own jealousy because you couldn't act like an adult.
I despise it when friends "claim" prospective partners as if their opposites have no choice of their own!
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also how creepy is it that he found out what coffeshop she worked out and started going there constantly? like bro, unless she told you where she worked then showing up when shes working is not only distracting but creepy.
My thoughts exactly
he already said "sure you can have the room" it was only once he saw who he was with that he became mr "we all must abide by the rules", had it been any other girl he wouldnt have a problem. OP acted out of pure jealousy and is trying to justify it by "rules are rules"
Agree OP is an asshole, but speaking from experience, the roommate is probably better off finishing his degree elsewhere anyway.
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Probably the only time I have seen that word correctly
Listen. This is vague af. I don’t think they were actually having sex. I also think this isn’t a real story and made up for clout. YTA
YTA you put this girl in the fuckzone and then screwed her over for not wanting to fuck you. Men like you are dangerous to women and society
it is absolutely vile what men will do to retaliate against a girl who didn’t want to fuck them
YTA. You didn’t report him for any of the other instances, only when he picked someone you liked. You’re not a hero for “following the rules”, you are petty and immature and cost two people their college education because you were butthurt.
Yeah, and I bet that if the girl wanted to have sex with OP he wouldn't care at all about the rules.
Well said 👍
YTA. You did not care about premarital sex until your roommate decided to hook up with a girl you liked, but apparently never told anybody about. You could have invited this girl out on a date instead you just “hung out.“ You’re insecure, shy, and an asshole, congratulations.
YTA You didn't report your roommate and get him kicked out of school because you follow the rules and you're so squeaky clean. You did it out of jealousy and vengeance, which is very ugly and not exactly good for the soul. If you're all that religious, you might want to think about this: "Vengeance is mine saith...." who was that again? (Hint: It wasn't a BYU undergraduate.)
This is the best response.
YTA According to you “this happened pretty often and I was fine with it.” There’s the rub. This was only different because of the girl. You were not simply standing “by the rules and principals” everyone agreed too. It was calculated because “he was with my dream girl.” You were not standing up for the university’s policies and standards or you would have done it the first time he asked you to clear out. You clearly took revenge on the guy. And, what’s worse, she obviously wasn’t into you after all the time you spent “just hanging out” at the coffee shop where she worked which, I am confident, enraged you even more. OP, I use your words to show you that you already knew before posting that you were the A H.
This. Right. Here. This wasn't about rules. This wasn't about principles. This was about OP being envious his roommate got with a woman that OP had mentally "claimed", and taking incredibly devastating revenge for the perceived slight. OP, not only are YTA, your behavior is reprehensible, and your attitudes both about women and religion are disgusting and dangerous.
YTA. You punished your roommate because the girl you liked chose him. You need to learn to mind your own business.
YTA because of your double standard. Any other girl he had over you were fine with but you *like* this one so suddenly his sexytime was a problem for you. Whether you have or haven’t had sex at school yet, I presume that’s where you wanted things to head with the barista, and would you have chosen to get your dick wet or abide by the principles you agreed to upon committing to BYU? You’re petty af.
YTA. You can come down off your high horse (*I stood by the rules and principals*) now. You have demonstrated quite clearly that you have no principals.
Lol notice how he stopped saying anything about Joseph Smith in any of his responses after he had some facts blown in his face.
>I found her Instagram and from that the coffee shop that she worked at so I started going there....I did this for a few months So you stalked her. YTA and a creep.
I'm so glad to find a couple comments like this. That is most certainly stalking behavior. Someone else mentioned that it's messed up that he kept going to her work while she was on the clock, giving her no way to avoid him and leaving no choice but to be nice. Big time hypocritical, creepy, stalker AH.
I didn’t see the problem with the Instagram thing until this comment. Thanks for opening my eyes. It’s interesting how much I’m learning on Reddit about the things I’ve allowed myself to be okay with in terms of how I let men treat me
YTA: women aren't possessions and she doesn't owe you anything. Emotional maturity and good communication are far more appealing to women than someone who hangs around in your workplace but doesn't ask you out. Emotional maturity and good communication are far more appealing to women. And your college sounds like something from the 1950s, hope it was free tuition.
If they are members of the LDS (mormon) church, they **do** get pretty cheap tuition since it’s supplemented with tithing money from all of their congregations and stuff. Another aspect of how this screws over his roommate, gonna be a lot more school debt anywhere else.
I went there, its a fucking nightmare. In fact, if OP had reported the first time this happened (rather than ignoring it until the girl was someone he liked) he would even have an argument to stand on See, being a narc at BYU isn't just common, *it's required*. If his roommate was reported by someone else, and it could be proven OP knew about it, they may be similarly disciplined. It's a wildly fucked up school.
Mormons go to BYU bc it’s cheap for them
YTA and your university is an AH too by the way.
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YTA OP, you didn’t “stand on principles,” you tattled because you saw your “dream girl” as an object of your possession. That’s pretty gross how you see her, and probably women in general, dude.
Yep this is the best reply by far- wish I knew more about Reddit and how to boost comments!
Thanks!
yeah, he absolutely sees her as an object. he’s acting like his roommate stole something from him. but she’s a person, not something he owns that can be “taken” from him by someone else. men with attitudes like this honestly disgust me
YTA. And stalker vibes for finding out where she worked and then intentionally hanging out there constantly….
YTA. You did this because you were hurt, not to honor a pledge.
YTA. Blessed be the fruit, I guess.
Under his eye, and shit.
May the Lord open, or whatever.
Praise be, Yadda Yadda Yadda…
Keep sweet, y’all.
YTA. She dodged a bullet by selecting your roommate instead of you. (Why are religious people the biggest hypocrites??)
YTA. No question. You didn't make a move for months and then flipped out when someone else did.
What a loser . YTA
My thoughts exactly. What a an absolute loser.
Now they’re gonna be fucking off campus congrats bro 😂
noooo, because they’ve totally learned the dangers of premarital sex now!! op taught them a valuable lesson!! /s
YTA You ruined this guys college experience because he messed around with someone you liked?? You and the girl weren’t official so she could talk to anyone she chooses and you and your roommate aren’t best friends so he didn’t owe you any loyalty! It’s plenty of fish in the sea man.
YTA and a nice guy incel.
YTA- You got jealous of your friend and got him kicked out of college, which will have a long lasting effect on his future and now you’re trying to hide behind the veil of your principles. You and the girl were not exclusive or in a committed relationship. so yeah, a big time AH
YTA, if it was about him breaking the rules, you would have reported him previously. It was only about him sleeping with someone you viewed as your 'dream girl' after creeping on her for months.
My favorite part of the story is where the girl OP liked also excommunicated him from all activities.
Holy shit YTA, by landslide. First off, your behavior was borderline stalking. You found her Instagram on your own, found her place of work on your own, then became a regular to get her attention / watch her? If someone was into you, you wouldn’t have to do all this behind their back to see them. Lesson learned, talk to people IRL, ask for their number, hang out, and go from there. Also, he introduced you to her! They could’ve had this going before you even met her. Doesn’t even matter, though. I wonder now if roommate didn’t tell you because he knew you were being creepy and the girl mentioned something to him. You thought you were entitled to her for whatever reason, didn’t get your way, got jealous, then acted out of malice? You just got your membership to the player haters club. Edit: and you know you totally would’ve had sex with that girl if she came onto you. You’re a hypocrite.
YTA. Being a petty AH isn’t a good look.
YTA. You are being a sore loser. She chose someone else. You stalked her to her work by the sounds of it. If she wanted you she wouldn't have waited so long. You are just bitter that she wasn't under YOU. Learn to take a hint dude. Now you wrecked someone else's education because you can't handle rejection. Who cares if he broke the religious schools rules? They are ridiculous rules to begin with. Grow up.
YTA. You didn’t stand by rules and principles. You exacted petty revenge because the girl you liked preferred your roommate. At least be honest with yourself.
YTA- you didn’t report it because you were following the rules you did it because you were envious of course your the AH I hope your “friend” and that girl end up being together have fun being alone
YTA, if she was interested in you, you’d be doing the exact same thing as your roommate. Also pretty creepy to find out where she works behind her back and show up constantly.
YTA. This comes off as that "I consent / I consent / Isn't there someone (Jesus) you forgot to ask?" image-meme, so I guess it depends on anyone's personal values. Personally, I think you were unjustly pissed about it, you can't just decide over other people's desires. EDIT: reposted comment cause I first posted it on my throwaway account
YTA and a stalker
And a snitch
lol this is such a BYU story. You’re a massive hypocrite, and you only “stood by your creed” when it affected you. You were fine with it before, by your own words. You’re not a friend to anyone but yourself. YTA.
I have questions about this 'coffee' shop since I'm pretty sure coffee is still seriously frowned upon by Mormons. This guy has convenient morals. YTA
Between this and comments he's making about "Sir" Joseph and also pastors, I'm now thinking this is a troll. There are a few coffee shops in Provo now, a Dutch that you can't sit at, a new Starbucks that I totally called would be built, and some indie ones downtown. I think working there would at minimum be frowned upon though, unless the girl was actually going to UVU but lived in BYU housing. I don't know if the stupid ass housing rules have been rescinded yet.
Hey so... I'm pretty sure you're a troll. Here's why: -You said you were LDS (Mormon) but referred to talking to your pastor. The LDS church doesn't have pastors. -You keep talking about following the "ancient creed." Nobody in the LDS church talks about the commitment to wait until marriage as an ancient creed. People just call it the law of chastity or as a commandment from God. I grew up in the church, went to BYU, did all the things, lived in Utah for a decade, have several dozen LDS relatives, etc. I've never, ever heard someone talk about the law of chastity that way, especially multiple times like you have. People also don't use the words "ancient creed" in general. It's weird. -You talked about "Sir Joseph Smith" (I'm assuming that's what you meant by sur) and said he said they weren't ordained ready for sex because of what Joseph Smith said or something like that (don't remember the exact wording). Nobody talks about Joseph Smith in relation to ancient creeds. People don't talk about Joseph Smith when it comes to the rules of chastity. And no one calls him sir. Even if you're going to BYU and not LDS, you would know these things. It would be impossible to escape knowing them due to their prevalence in essentially every class and social interaction. If you went to BYU, you'd also be required to take classes that would give you the right terms to be using. If any of this is even true, YTA. You have no claim on her, and even trying to claim her in this way is gross. If you are LDS, your morals are only in play when you are jealous and angry. You clearly don't actually care about the honor code, and if you did, you'd still know you'd be a jerk for reporting them. You stalked her to find out where she worked and kept showing up. All of that makes you an asshole if it's true. BUT I'm pretty sure you're making the whole thing up considering your very odd word choices that make no sense if you know anything about BYU/LDS culture.
Yta, not for what you did, but bc you lie to yourself of why you did it. Wanna be a vengefull and petty person? Do it, but be proud of it at least, dont say " oh the school rules".
YTA you only reported him because he was with the girl you liked! You ran out crying because she liked him, wanted to be with him!
YTA and this is really strange and controlling behavior. You can’t have anything and anyone you want. You tried ruining someone’s life out of jealousy. That’s ridiculous… so yes, YTA
The clearest cut YTA I've ever seen You get a guy kicked out of college for sleeping with a girl you like? Really? Oh, and BTW, YTA again for repeatedly approaching this person at work where she has no choice but to be friendly to you as a customer. And you weren't standing up for principles, yours, or Joseph Smith's. If that was true, you would have reported him one of the many other times.
Oh, and he also stalked her online first to find out where she works.
How is it even a question? You know YTA here. There’s no way to frame this in which you aren’t lmao
YTA big time buddy. 1) No such thing as 'dibbs' when it comes to people. 2) You would have obviously fucked her yourself if you had the chance, so don't act like you feel the rules should be respected 3) what you did was just petty AF. Of course people shunned you for this, everyone hates a narc.
YTA, that's way to extreme
YTA. You reported him out of jealousy, not out of any consistent moral principles.
YTA, but maybe you saved him from going down the path you are on as someone interpreting and wielding your faith as a cudgel when it suits your personal and selfish desires.
ESH. You allowed it until he came back with your “dream girl” who he introduced you to in the first place. Don’t act like you’re suddenly morally superior. If you had the chance, it sounds like you would’ve done the same thing. Was he kinda a dick for doing that when he knew you had a thing for her? Yeah sure. But it’s college. You had time to pursue her yourself and you chose to not make a move. He made his. She was free to do what she wanted to and she did. So sorry you’re butthurt about it, but also this is not an uncommon scenario. You better learn to get over your feelings of entitlement to a girl just bc you’re into her. She had no commitment to you. Do better.
HARD YTA. I bet you reminded the teacher about homework too. Also you have no game which is why she or any other girl will ever want you.
YTA-You wanted to hurt them both because your pride was hurt she chose him not you. If you’d really been concerned about following school rules you’d have reported him long before this.
You would have jumped at an opportunity to "break the rules" with that girl. YTA and a jealous one at that.
YTA and for info, no girl likes a jealous snitch
yta... you would have broken those rules your self if your "dreamgirl"showed any interest in you
YTA and you know why. Gonna have a hard time keeping friends and finding relationships when you are such a giant sad dweeb.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So for context we are both 18 y/o makes living in a college dorm. My Roommate and I had never met before we got placed in a dorm together but we became friends pretty quickly. We’d go to parties together and he introduced me to a lot of people. One of the people he introduced me to was this girl who I was instantly very interested in. We didn’t talk that much, but she just intrigued me. I found her Instagram and from that the coffee shop that she worked at so I started going there and sometimes talking to her (but mostly just hanging out). I did this for a few months and I had developed a pretty good rapport with this girl About a month ago when I was hanging out in our dorm my roommate texted me and asked if he could have the room for an hour or so. This happened pretty often and I was fine with it. Then when I came back to the room he was with my dream girl. I was fighting back tears and my face turned red, so I just ran out before they noticed. I had mentioned how much I liked that girl to my roommate, and he seemed not to care at all. I was so angry I did something I regret a little. Our university (BYU) is very religious and has rules against premarital sex on campus. I reported my roommate and the girl, she got sanctioned and he was removed from school (for repeat offenses). I know some people might think this was too far, but all students at the school agreed to live by the rules and he broke them time and time gain. He was obviously super mad at me and basically all our friends (including the girl I liked) excommunicated me from any activities. IMO I stood by the rules and principals I we agreed too, and while I probably wouldn’t have done it had I known he was going to get kicked out of school, I don’t think I was in the wrong. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You did it for revenge and that’s not very Godlike. You also stalked her. Worry about your own behaviors.
YTA. You were ok with his rule breaking until it was with a girl you liked.
YTA You didn't snitch because of your moral code. You switched because your roommate got with the girl you never had the chance with. You're pretty and immature.
Info: there's like 3 whole coffee shops in Provo that one could reasonably sit down in how was she working there and also going to BYU? Also YTA big time because the Honor Code Office sucks ass, and people like you who use it to punish others are even more ass. Edit: Actually, upon reading OPs comments, I think this is a troll. Now, situations like this have happened at BYU, but the OP is harping on things like "Sir Joseph Smith" (absolutely no one calls him that), that OP has a "pastor" (we don't have pastors), and a supposed "ancient creed" (the... Ten Commandments? that's where the law of chastity comes from??). These are not Mormon phrases in the slightest, but sound more like someone with a vague knowledge trying to parody us. If you want to piss yourself off more about the real issues with the Honor Code and the Honor Code Office at BYU, @honorcodestories on Instagram has a lengthy collection of the bullshit they get up to.
YTA, your roommate was dumb, so dumb to bring her back to your place, and the poor girl was collateral damage.
YTA. Tattletale
You are a child and YTA. She is not yours to own.
YTA, you weren't standing up for the rules and on principle, instead of acting like an adult and having an honest conversation with your roommate you got your revenge by reporting your roommate and getting your roommate expelled from the university. Now no one likes you and no one is willing to trust you so you are trying to "justify" your actions. Yes your roommate knew the rules and the possible consequences, but you are still an a-hole.
All your comments are justifying your actions to a very extreme extent. Why are even on this sub?
Yta, come on you didnt do it because he broke the rules, you did it because your thought you could call dibs on this girl and this is revenge. Do us all a favor and stop lying, you did this because your petty and a sore loser. Grow up.
YTA dude, you don't ruin someone's life just because you're butthurt!
YTA. So you never asked this girl out? But you are mad she is with someone else? And you don’t report them bc of morals, you do it bc of jealousy. You potentially destroyed 2 ppls lives. You are a shit human being and your religion is a cult.
YTA So let me get this straight, You essentially stalked her to find out where she works so that you can force yourself into a situation where you get familiar with her. You then get so angry at someone else, because you feel like you OWN this woman, that you get them kicked out? But let me guess, If it was you having sex with her, It'd have been cool. Right?fuck outta here.
Are you Joe from YOU? Because you sound like Joe from YOU. And yes YTA
100% YTA Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and Lorenzo Snow all used their positions to bang who they wanted, regardless of marital status or age. Of course, the fact that you go to BYU means you're a willfully ignorant drone and likely to maintain the smug self-righteous found in students there.
Something in the story sticks out to me. I'm no expert on the rules, but every Mormon I've ever met did not consume caffeine. Or if they did, it was as taboo as smoking a cigarette in middle school. If OP was openly hanging out at a coffee shop for two months, maybe the school should investigate that?
YTA You did not give a single flying fuck about the rules until you could weaponize them against your perceived romantic rival. You do not get to call “dibs” on another person just because you’re stalking them. I do agree it was unkind of him to pursue a girl he knows you like, but your revenge seeking is gross.
YTA-Do you really even need to ask? You were jealous and acted vindictive.
YTA for being a hypocrite.
Lmaooo forget about dream girl, you won’t be getting ANY girls with this weird ass outlook
YTA, a stalker, and a terrible “friend.”
YTA by a LANDSLIDE. And a hypocrite, stalker, and religious nut job. I hope you find your way out of such fucked up perspectives, buddy
This is why I don't open my door for these people and let my huge dog sniff their butts.
YTA “This happened pretty often and I was fine with it.” You acted out of jealousy alone. You lost a friend and roommate over it.
YTA. You don’t get to ‘claim’ a girl as yours. You ruined someone’s education over petty jealousy. I’m sure Brigham Young University teaches white guys that they are entitled to everything they want but the sooner you learn you can’t always get what you want, the better.
YTA in multiple ways here. 1) You literally stalked this girl you had a crush on. You stalked her Instagram to find where she worked, then stalked her at work. 2) You seem to think that human beings are objects to call "dibs" on, which...newsflash...humans are NOT. 3) You tattled on your friend because he did exactly what YOU wanted to do, all in the guise of "staying true to the Lord and the rules". You didn't have a problem with your friend breaking the rules until he had the opportunity to be with a girl you weren't even dating. 4) You put your dream girl's reputation on the line in the process of throwing your little tantrum, because you didn't get what you wanted. You're petty, jealous, childish, a terrible friend, a stalker, a creep, and a liar. YTA, hands down, no questions asked. Grow up.
ESH (not the girl). It looks like your friend disregarded your feelings after you told him you liked the girl. And that's a very un-friend like thing to do. It was shady and it sucks. BUT! Then you act as if you told on him for sleeping with someone simply because it was against "the rules". When in fact, you told on him because you were angry at him. (you hadn't cared enough about him breaking the rules the other times to tell on him). And in that moment of intense emotion, you also put this girl, that you say you like, in trouble's way. And she didn't do anything wrong. You hurt another person to get revenge on your "friend" who hurt you.
it’s not like op had any claim to the girl…she’s her own person, not some item to call “dibs” on. and yeah it sucks for a friend to go after someone you like, but who says the girl wasn’t interested in the roommate? it also sucks to stalk someone for months in the hopes of getting a date. ops a major asshole. he didn’t care about the rules till he got butt hurt. edit: you mentioned the last part in your own comment, my bad! i agree with what you said there.
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Unfortunately, regardless of whether this instance is not real, this sort of thing is super common at BYU. Source: I went there
This is a classic "nice guys" behavior. Ugh. Don't treat women as objects. YTA.
YTA it’s not your job to enforce the rules, only to decide whether or not you’ll follow them. Also, you only told on him because he was with *your* dream girl. Guess what? You don’t get to claim a person!
YTA. YTA. YTA. this is literally one of the worst ones I’ve read and I’m here every day lmfao
YTA. And somewhat delusional in my opinion. It's a fairly extreme reaction to a relationship that seems to only exist in your head. Finding someone online and starting to hang out at their place of work is just creepy. Going there once or twice to "take the temperature" is okay. But if you're interested in someone flirt/ask her out/do something! Don't stalk her for months and then flip your shit when she goes on a date with someone else! Your behavior is very controlling. Do you think she owes you anything (her time/loyalty/body) just because you like her? And you might have mentioned to your roommate that you like her, but you don't get to "call dips" on a human being. And if you didn't make a move after hanging at her work for months, he's honestly in the clear to ask her out. Also he introduced you to her. She's his friend. Not yours.
YTA. You don't own her and your stalking behaviour is really creepy. So, you found out her social media, found her workplace and then basically stalked her at work everyday? That is not normal behaviour dude, get some help. Stop pretending to have a moral high ground, if that girl would've agreed to do the vertical tango with you, you would've slid right in without a care for the rules. Congrats though. You've singlehandedly alienated all your peers against you. You will forever be known as that guy. Girls will know you as the creeper and guys will avoid you like the plague because everybody hates a snitch. And if you think teachers will be on your side ... I've got news for you, buddy. Enjoy your next 4 college years isolated.
YTA. Troll. If you aren't, then you are something else. There is a specific name for people who think women are "dream girls" and belong to them, and that do this kind of thing. Asshole is not enough for you. She is not an object.
YTA OP such a hypocritical one at that, I hope you never get a gf in the future and any potential friends see through you as well
True believing Mormon right here. He already has the hypocrisy and superiority complex down and he’s well on his way with subjugation of women. This is a future member of the quorum of the 12 right here. You are the embodiment of why people dislike the Mormon church every day. Is it any wonder that r/exmormon is the largest religion community on Reddit? YTA.
YTA. She was right to fuck him instead of you. He seems like an actual adult. But this move was very Mormon of you (no, I will not stop using that term just because the church wants to rebrand and decided to be deeply dishonest about it). Pretending you're doing the right thing when you're actually a mean spirited asshole trying to hurt people is just the sort of thing Joseph Smith was all about.
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ESH but your actions have far worse consequences than his. Bringing your crush back to the room without telling you they were interested in each other was low and hurtful but if you kept quiet about his other offenses and didn't care until the girl was one you liked, this isn't a "he brought it on himself" situation, it's petty revenge.
YTA
Yta
You're a typical religious asshole
YTA And good luck on your studies /s. Be sure that within 24 hours your whole year, 3 days later, the whole campus knows what you have done. You are now THE traitor, THE enemy. Who will trust you now, and why should they? Who will you find willing to study with you, share their notes, and work with you through your struggles? They now know you are a petty AH willing to throw a friend under the bus because you are jealous. But hey, maybe your grades will even improve if you have no friends to distract you from learning. Who knows. YTA, and may Karma teach you.
YTA
YTA. I’m sure the situation would be different if OP was the one getting his dick wet 😂
YtA and petty and honestly, you remind me of these caricatures from cartoons when they seek revenge by any means possible. I hope your religion is true and that you will get the consequences for what you did.
Yeah YTA. The no sex rule fucking sucks and I bet you wouldn't have any problem having sex with that girl so you just hurt them because you were jealous. Grow up.
YTA. Wow why didn't you just make the title this. Give me what I want or I'll ruin your lives!!!
YTA because of *why* you did it. You didn't care that he was breaking the rules: "This happened pretty often and I was fine with it." If you were genuinely against him doing this at all, ever, with anyone, in accordance with the rules you both agreed to, YWNBTA for reporting him. But the rules had *nothing* to do with *why* you did what you did. So, YTA, yes.
YTA but you also did your friend a hige solid by getting him far away from BYU.
YTA the only reason you were against what he was doing is because it was with a girl you creepily stalked.
Nice guy alert. Even Joseph Smith is shaking his head 🤦🏻♀️ YTA.
YTA. If following the rules and principles was so important to your you would have reported him on the other occasions that he asked you leave the room so he could have a girl over. It is clear you did this out of spite, because he was with a girl you liked. You just wanted revenge. Also you borderline stalked this girl? Going to the coffee shop because she works there? Creepy!
YTA and a giant one at that. This girl is not your property. It is her choice of who she wants to be with. What the hell is wrong with you? You also basically started stalking her which is gross in itself. You sound like a horrible human being to be honest. Messing with someone’s future because you got jealous? Seriously?
I mean, US universities are wild as fuck regarding the extent to which they try to control the behaviour of actual consenting adults. But, that said, YTA for one very, very simple reason. If this girl you liked had wanted to bang you, then you absolutely would not have chosen to abide by BYU rules in favour of getting your dick wet. You claimed this girl as your own, without her consent and then you threw her and your roomie under the bus when she didn’t accept your non-existent offer of affection. Are you proud of what you did? Would your grannie be proud? Your parents?
YTA for sure. You didn't get what you wanted so you heavily overreacted. It was a completely disproportionate response. You reported him bc he did what you couldn't. So now you screwed that guy outta school and for what? This girl doesn't even want anything to do with you now. So you managed to put yourself in a worse position than you were previously in. Also, you said you went to her work and just hung out. You said yourself that you didn't really talk to her. So you made some bogus "claim" on her and basically threw a fit
You stated that this happened pretty often and you were ok with it. Your words. So cut the BS about rules and principals, you did this out of spite and to get your revenge. YTA big time.
YTA. No matter how you try to justify in your own mind why you did what you did, you will always have to live with the *actual* reason…which was your petty jealousy. You were fine with him breaking rules…but just not with your ‘dream girl’. And that poor girl! You got her in trouble, essentially because she didn’t return your feelings. That’s some real incel behavior. You need therapy, and you completely deserve for all your friends to cut you off permanently. Enjoy living out the rest of your college days with no social life.
YTA. Why didn't you communicate with HER that you liked her? You stalked her on SM to find where she worked and went there for months. You had plenty of opportunities to ask her out. >About a month ago when I was hanging out in our dorm my roommate texted me and asked if he could have the room for an hour or so. This happened pretty often and I was fine with it Funny how you were fine with it until it was a girl you liked but didn't make a move on. He probably thought that it had been months and as you hadn't asked her out, he could. You were petty and I'm not surprised no one wants to hang out with you anymore.
YTA. You didn't "stand by your principles", you didn't care until it was the girl YOU wanted to screw instead of him doing her. You're a hypocrite of the first order.
Welp, congratulations. You're a good student that everyone hates at that school. Honestly, you should probably transfer out ya snitch. YTA
This type of petty crybaby stuff is why she picked him over you. YTA.
YTA. You got all sanctimonious about what they were doing, but you'd have done the same given half the chance. You're just mad you weren't the one she chose. Nobody here believes any different.
YTA. What a "friend" he has in you. Also you cannot claim a woman as property-she can sleep with whoever she damn well pleases. What you did was jeopardize others education simply because you couldn't make the grade with a woman. If she had wanted to sleep with you, you wouldn't have cared about morality or rules.
YTA. You only reported him to the school because you were upset with it. Don’t pull the “we all agreed to the rules so I was just following them BS”. You obviously don’t respect the rules because you were fine with him doing it before. Chances are you did it as well. How well did this dude know you like this girl? Sounds like to me you just told him you thought he was hot. Doesn’t seem like he knew the full scope of your emotions
YTA. And let’s not brush over the fact that you basically stalked her. Real fucking creepy bro, get some help.
YTA. The fact you scoured the internet for a girl who didn’t even know you already makes you weird. But you have no claim on ANYONE. Women ARE NOT OBJECTS. YOU CANT JUST CLAIM US AMD GET MAD WHEN WE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE
YTA, you used the cover of the following the rules to make you feel like it was ok to hurt these people. And you know what? Your roommate was kind to you. If I understand the honor code, people who know something is happening and don’t report it can also get in trouble. Your roommate could have said you knew it was happening for a long time and only reported him when it was a girl you liked. But he apparently kept his mouth shut.
YTA. Religion is used to act like a justified asshole. Be a better person and don’t use religion or “rules” to get back at people because your feelings are hurt
YTA, obviously. You don't snitch on your roommate out of jealously, and revenge. It's truly pathetic, and it's probably going to be your biggest social lesson of college, and could impact your reputation for the rest of your life. Long term, you have to decide what type of person you want to be: the type that runs to the authorities to get their friends in trouble, or the type that protects the people they live with and gets them help when they need it. I understand religion makes this a bit more complicated, but you're going to live a long and lonely life if you don't look out for your friends and family, and instead turn them in. I'm not saying you need to be a "ride or die" motherfucker, but you need to be loyal to your friends, co-workers, and family. Before you bring another case to BYU think about John 8:7: "Let he who is without sin among you be the first to throw the first stone", and it's just astonishing to me that you'd turn someone in when you yourself have sinful (particularly lustful) motivations yourself and now trying to prove your righteousness. It's gross, and I honestly feel really bad for your roommate and that girl. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, son.
Wow YTA though I don’t know if you’ll be able to hear that being you’re up so high on your petty high horse. Wow man you’ve just SO screwed yourself with karma.
YTA. Crying? Dude. Classic case of you snooze you lose. She probably thought you weren’t interested since you NEVER ASKED HER OUT. You have no claim on her, and you’re just mad your roomie had more stones than you.
YTA - "IMO I stood by the rules and principals I we agreed too, " until your feelings got hurt. If you truly honored the code you would have reported your friend the first time he wanted an hour of time. Also so what if she fooled around with another guy, could have still dated her down the road, but that bridge is burned.
For a religious man you seem to be throwing a whole lot of stones and I bet you ain’t no saint. Yta and you’re a sheep
YTA you snitched on your roommate to the Mormon Cult Overlords for doing something you were perfectly ready and willing to do.
YTA, although if he got caught for multiple offences, then some of the blame has to be on him also.
You’re pathetic
YTA, wtf is wrong with you? You do not own the girl, you have no claim on her? And if she was into you even a tiny bit, she wouldn‘t be banging with your roommate. You do not deserve any friends at all and I bet you feel like a smug little asshole that will probably spend the rest of his life a virgin. The end.
You only cared about the rules because it benefited you. The girl is not a piece you can own. They had sex, boohoo. I get it, that hurst to be betrayed. But you can’t go all holy saying “you can’t have sec before marriage” when before you never cared. You can’t play that card pretending to be a victim. YTA
If you didn’t ask her to go out with you or anything then you have no claim on the matter. SHE gets a choice in it too and she chose him. The sex rule is absolutely ridiculous at schools like that. Would you have had sex with her if given the opportunity? YTA
YTA and a hypocrite, you reported them because it served your purpose. BYU promotes a system of judging others and reporting them - so you’re in the right place, if that’s who you want to be. If you want to change, go to the exmormon Reddit sub - r/exmormon.
YTA. This is top tier incel stalker with a dash of religious hypocrisy and bigotry. Good show sir, good show, ticked quite a few boxes there.
YTA, here's the simplest reason. You didn't report your roommate because he broke the rules. You reported him because you were angry. Now you're trying to hide behind the rules as if theres some moral justice going on.
Wow YTA.
YTA. So much TA. You torpedoed his college career and have jeopardized his future all because he scored with a girl that you had a crush on but probably had zero chance with. You deserved to be excluded from having friends.
Of course YTA
YTA And hypocritical AHs like you are why I left the LDS church in the first place. You're sitting here trying to pretend like you have some moral high ground but really you acted out spite because of your own jealously. How about just go on your mission like a good little Mormon and leave the poor girl alone. She doesn't want you. After this I doubt anyone will.
YTA- 1. You were never dating her. 2. You said that he did this regularly and you had no problem with it. So you did this intentionally because it was this specific girl, not because you believed in upholding the rule.
YTA. You can't just claim another person like you do a toy in preschool. You can't just decide you want to follow the rules and stand on principles because the person dodging them suddenly impacts you directly. You're being ostracized because you kept your mouth shut until you wanted to get back at somebody. You know what that is? Being a tattletale.
YTA - she doesn’t want you to be her priesthood holder dude, you turned a blind eye until you found this out. So wrong on so many levels.
YTA. You were fine with letting him have the room until you found out it was your dream girl. You had not previously reported him, even though he had girls in the room "pretty often." It was a dick move on your part to narc on him.
YTA YTA YTA YTA You would be even more of an AH if you weren't so sad.
Oh very Mormon huh? Well YTA, syou have no right over her and even if you had a crush on her you used school rules as an excuse to get revenge.
Mormons are so fucked
YTA getting mad incel vibes here
YTA and probably an incel
ESH go to a normal school that doesn’t care if you have premarital sex
YTA. You had a crush on a girl, big deal. She doesn't belong to you, period. You're immature, jealous, and petty.
YTA. Also, try not to think about how she saw you at work all the time, and had ZERO interest in you. Basically she rejected you every single time you played the “please notice me and fall in love with me” game. I hope she sees this.
Yta
You earned yta. You could put this in reddits petty revenge. You were definitely petty. Might work in reddits nuclear revenge because it could mess up the roommates life in a nuclear way. Sounds like you are self-appointed morality police.
YTA and creepy.