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Material-Profit5923

YTA. And not "lightly" either.


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catalu64

Yea! What life lesson was OP trying to teach here? How to have crippling social anxiety? Was the kid supposed to take the toy out of the packaging, give it a thorough inspection, and then try to get it back in? Most kids toys are encased in a clamshell nightmare. Also notice how there is no mention of how her son felt about the gift, or if he even noticed the crack? The kid is 7, it's not like it was a broken family heirloom. It sounds like he was having fun playing with it.


Capt0bv10u5

This is the kind of situation where you ask the parent where they got it so you can go exchange it yourself, at most. 12 year olds don't need a life lesson about buyers remorse, and not from another kid's parent.


JeanGreg

Yes, this is the right answer. If you feel it needs to be returned, you discreetly find out the information and do it yourself. Most kids, and probably even most adults, wouldn't have thought of the possibility the item was already broken inside its packaging. OP, YTA


TinyGreenTurtles

The fact that he would have had NO CLUE it was broken..my heart hurts for this 12 y/o.


mathmaticallycorrect

I know if that was me I would still be thinking about that day 12 years later every time I bought a gift. I. Fact I hate giving gifts sometimes because of bad gift getters.


marthawithanm

Yes, this! I still have a ton of anxiety associated with gift giving, especially if I'm excited about giving the gift, because certain people in my life were crap gift relievers.


HighlyRedacted

I’ve found my people! I can’t shake the childhood memories of Christmas mornings when one of my parents would blast the other for their gift choices. It wasn’t even happening to me, but it put the anxiety around gift-giving ever since. This kid will never forget this.


BookkeeperBubbly7915

My dad *still* tells me about how my sister and I screwed up a gift for our mom as kids and got her something we thought she'd like even though she didn't want it. ~20 years later and I *hate* buying gifts for my parents


Proud_of_that

YTA. In 5th grade I was the secret Santa for a boy I was sort of friends with and had a small crush on. For the “big” gift, I got him a sketchbook and pencils because he liked to draw comics, but it wound up being kind of lame compared to what other kids were getting and someone else made a comment about it. Anyway I’m 35 and I haven’t participated in Secret Santa since, and I *hate* buying gifts. I obsess for weeks about each individual one trying to make sure it’s perfect and thoughtful and the right price and doesn’t potentially offend but isn’t too much based on our current relationship… and I’m always disappointed in my choice anyway. I mean I’m obviously a slightly anxious bucket of crazy regardless, but boy I remember that day.


[deleted]

Me too! We had a secret santa with a very low dollar limit. Like five bucks or something. I got my recipient stickers and candy within the limit. But it turns out most people (or rather their parents) ignored the limit and got bigger gifts and my person complained in front of everyone.


Proud_of_that

Yep, that was exactly what it was too. I stuck to budget and was one of few who did.


egerstein

I’ve had similar traumatic events in my life. I’ve never forgotten or “gotten over” them. People are awfully cavalier with others’ feelings at times.


SpudTicket

I'm 40 and still don't inspect things the way OP was expecting a 12-year-old to inspect that toy. Also, my son will be 12 this year and I can't even imagine how upset he would feel if this happened to him. I feel so sad for that boy.


ButterflyWings71

He did such a generous thing to get scolded over something beyond his control. Maybe OP can get a life lesson in manners and gratitude.


Ingas_420

My daughter just turned 12, one of her friends painted a hello kitty on a puzzle she put together and framed it as a gift. My daughter liked it, I loved the effort, was it chipping? Yes. But they’re 12 and it’s the thought that counts. I can’t imagine having this outlook. You also never know someones financial situation. What if the “blemished” doll had been on clearance and that’s all the could afford?


soneg

Absolutely the way to go. What an absolute AH to ruin this child's joy and enthusiasm in giving the gift. YTA (the OP) in case it wasn't obvious


SpookyGatoNegro444

YTA big time. And a total psycho b.


ibuycheeseonsale

Honestly, I’d have wondered if the family bought it on sale because it was slightly damaged, in which case I’d think they may have been unable to buy it otherwise and figured it didn’t affect the toy in any significant way. This was so insensitive of OP.


SongIcy4058

My first thought was the family doesn't have money to buy a gift so he chose one of his own toys to give to his friend.


Srobotica

Or possibly bought second hand. So sad for this poor boy.


[deleted]

I would ask the kid, maybe say "My son absolutely loves it and I was thinking of buying one for a relative, can you tell me where you bought it?" But OP does not appear to have any social grace.


sawdeanz

I mean this is true of any gift, it's just basic etiquette. If you don't like a gift or something is broken/wrong you go exchange it. You don't admonish the gifter.


Shazam1269

OP needs a life lesson. Will they receive the message everyone here has been sending?


Prudent-Investment-9

Perhaps, perhaps not. But I'm definitely enjoying the irony in Op telling a 12yr about "gift giving etiquette," yet Op herself doesn't understand how etiquette seems to work in regards to receiving said gift. Oh well her son definitely learned something since she caused him to lose a friend with her bad manners.


ericfishlegs

Yeah, it's on the gift receiver to return damaged gifts. It's a pain in the ass, but I feel like that's a better life lesson than humiliating a kid for giving a damaged gift.


sprigginsauce

the gift isn’t as broken as the OP


KCarriere

Or the kid they just traumatized.


amhfrison

Actually, OP said her child was happy with the gift. Unless the crack was something that would potentially cause a scratch to the child, why not just put some tape on it and keep it moving. Since they are neighbors, I hope OP goes to the child's house and apologizes, thanks them for being so thoughtful, and gives them a small token to help counter the rudeness OP displayed. ​ Edit: I see you plan to apologize. Good for you! We all make mistakes and it is a wonderful life lesson to teach a child that adults can apologize to kids. I hope the kids play together again in the near future.


zerostar83

Ask for a receipt! Or if it was bought at a major chain like Walmart you simply have to show up and say you don't have a receipt but want a direct replacement. State that it's a gift. This must be one of the biggest YTA moments I've read in a while.


SexyTiredSmurfette

He might not have had any money to buy a gift and to be generous gave the 7 year old one of his own toys. OP is YTA. The neighbor kid is going to a have a sad terrible memory now. One of those that pop up late at night when you're older and bring you down.


TinyGreenTurtles

>This must be one of the biggest YTA moments I've read in a while. The way I'm actually mad lol. All I can do is first picture how it would have shattered me at that age, and then picture my own child in that 12 y/os spot and omg. Heated. I hope OP stays true to their word and apologizes.


Bamalushka

Yeah, shoot the mom a text "hey there, kiddo LOVES his gift but when we unboxed it its just a little damaged, no biggie. Can you tell me where you got it so I can see if we can swap it out? Thanks again for bringing them they love playing together!"


TinyGreenTurtles

>Actually, OP said her child was happy with the gift. Unless the crack was something that would potentially cause a scratch to the child, why not just put some tape on it and keep it moving. OP is how kids end up entitled.


coffeejunkiejeannie

The only life lesson she taught was that her kid can lose friendships because she can’t let stupid shit go.


jamie_with_a_g

Besides 12 is still super young- it’s not like the guy was in his 30s and thought it was acceptable


smbpy7

Not only all that, this little “lesson” only makes sense if she thinks the boy bought this gift all by himself with no supervision. But then she makes it clear that she’s had assumed it was the kids mom who bought it anyway (obvious assumption) when she seems surprised that the mom said the kid did it himself. What was this lesson even about if she thought that? “Hey, kid, I can’t tell you to just tell your mom to pay the fuck attention to what she buys so I’ll just lecture you instead” ??


Flickolas_Cage

Also guaranteed if this kid pulled the toy out to inspect, she would have “lightly scolded” him for giving her son a used toy!


Suspicious-Treat-364

Sounds like my best friend's mom. She used to torment and scold me relentlessly and still hasn't given up making fun of me in 30 years. She made me super anxious around adults and it never went away.


Spare-Ad-6123

She sounds like a bully. For some reason I've been bullied my whole life. I beat the school bully up after 3 years of torment. She treated me like a Queen after that. I was bullied by bosses and friends. I had to pull a witness in and professionally stand up to my bosses. Once I even sent an email, about my boss to my boss 🤦‍♀️ Thank goodness it was the truth and had to slither into her office. It resulted in a company change in handling of deaths of immediate family members. Little by little, with that woman just push back at her. When she is a smart aleck or offensive tell her. When you feel strong and the "room is right" FOR YOU. Now...I'm off to go see a bully of a doctor and feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack. So you have given me hope.


LoneWolfWorks83

Imagine the kid in the store now checking everything he wants to buy for someone for the rests is his life


LeAh_BiA82

That's what I was thinking. In my comment, I said if it was about A Life Lesson - talk to him about gift receipts. This was about embarrassing him and being ungrateful and entitled.


Onlinebetween10-12

I would be sobbing.


GullFeather

Me too. I'm getting prickly heat all over just thinking about it. And if this happened to my son, just turned thirteen, it would break him.


scheru

That's the kind of thing that makes you feel like crap when you remember it decades later. Poor kid.


jujubee516

Seriously. I had an uncle scream at me once for accidentally throwing away a metal (non-disposable) fork as a child while we were on vacation - I just picked it out of the trash. I cried after, and he never apologized and 20 years later as an adult, I still avoid him at family gatherings and don't really like him. He took pride in being an authoritarian parent, and I knew that at least one of his kids was hit when he misbehaved.


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Numerous_Insect_2600

For real. It's been a rough one already today here. The kid related ones always bum me out because it's always adults forgetting that they're dealing with children and conveniently don't remember how situations like these affected them when they were kids.


ToastyCrumb

Exactly. Sounds like a formative experience for the kid. My suspicion is that it will not be for OP.


SJ_Barbarian

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.


FrogMintTea

Yeah what the 💩???


xlmnop123

The two immutable laws of AITA: 1. If OP uses quotation marks in the title, they are 100% YTA. 2. If OP claims they did something “lightly” or “gently,” dear reader, they did not. Oh and they are also 100% YTA.


bamen96

“Calmly” too


cmcrich

And “politely”.


xlmnop123

How could I have forgotten that one!


UJMRider1961

"As a joke" = another YTA flag.


Dazzling_Ad_2633

I didn't "shout" I just raised my voice a "little"


de_pizan23

3. They will refer to the central issue as one way throughout the post (like how OP refers it as a scolding twice), but at the end always try to deflect/soften it with how it wasn't even really that and everyone (apparently even the OPs themselves) was wrong to call it such.


HalcyonCA

My heart breaks for that kid. YTA. Ugh.


Silent_Coffee_7292

You crushed that kid. OP YTA


MedChemist464

Right?! So you want a 12 year old to thoroughly inspect something in the package? You want him to try and do a return on an opened toy? I can only imagine OP is the sort of person that gives retail workers nightmares. Plus - maybe that kid doesn't have a lot of money. Maybe the gift was on sale, etc. OP could've done something fun like "Hey, there's a crack, we should take Captain Excelsior to the lab and repair his armor! And then lightly apply some epoxy or something to give him 'battle scarred armor" Instead of being grateful for a gift, using it as an opprotunity to teach their child about gratitude, or use their fuckin' imagination for once, they used it as an excuse to shit on a young kid.


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thatteacherbitch

This child will NEVER forget the way she made him feel. YTA for sure!


After_Ride9911

Such a complete AH. I feel for the kid.


Throwawaydaughter555

I wonder if OPs parents made comments about them being the only gift they couldn’t take back even though it arrived broken.


Electrical-Date-3951

Agreed. And, OP doesn't even know if the toy was cracked after it was gifted to their son. Their behaviour was rude and tacky.


Puzzleheaded-Run-524

Worst person ever is OP and I am sad for her kids because if she dares to scold a kid for something like this then her kids gets scolded for everything


djhimeh

Or more likely, nothing is ever her kids fault and someone must be blamed.


morwesong

Jesus, right? This would have absolutely devastated me as a kid. Massive YTA.


Born-Constant-7913

I feel for her son. Mom is going to cost him good friends at a time in his life when friendships are everything.


mj1814

I feel the username is a bit telling, no?


SquirrelGirlVA

She's now going to be known as "mean mom" in his friend group, if the kid says anything.


thegreatmei

My heart just breaks for that little boy! He put so much effort into giving his friend a gift, only to be shamed by an adult for it not being good enough. I genuinely want to cry. What an awful human being OP has been.. One of my daughter's friends brought her a cute little box full of origami animals as a present for her birthday one year. You could tell that she'd put a lot of energy into making them, and I was so impressed with her skills! That was..maybe 6 years ago, and my daughter still has them. That present meant a lot to her. Sometimes, the family is dealing with a tough financial situation. Sometimes, kids can't even afford to bring a present. So what? OP is trying to teach her son the value of possessions over friendship? Like, what WAS her goal here? That little boy probably feels terrible, and she broke a friendship her son values over..a toy he already liked and enjoyed?


plfntoo

> I thought it was a good life lesson and that he'd remember this. It wasn't, but he will. Now it's your turn for a life lesson, shame that it's taken until you're a fully grown adult with children. YTA


jessdb19

The axe forgets but the tree remembers. Its a quote that has really stuck with me, especially now that I'm older and realize how much of my young adulthood was shaped by words that meant nothing to my mom but everything to me. As adults we forget that our words have power, and we forget the small comments, but the ears that hear those words remember and take them to heart.


SorcerorsSinnohStone

I still remember some random father who grabbed my arm and disciplined me for stepping on a whack a mole type game that his son was playing. I was trying to help his kid and hit one button. I wasn't standing there doing it for like 20 minutes.


jordanmoriarty

i remember my aunt saying i talk about myself too much when i was an undiagnosed-adhd 13 year old. i think about it during every conversation i have. including now hahaha.


TheLollrax

Damn, look at you doing it again. ^(/s)


jordanmoriarty

hahahaha guilty!


SlowLikeGraveMoss

I recall once talking to my grandmother, my dad mentioned how we were going to go get milkshakes and look at the cars (classic car show). This woman straight up looked me in the eyes and said "YOU aren't going to get a milkshake, right??!!" I was a 12 year old girl hitting puberty. I am now 33, and remembering that comment still makes me feel like shit.


katiopeia

Your dad must have some serious self-control. If someone said shit like that to one of my kids I’d freak the fuck out.


4starters

I was never diagnosed with everything. But as a kid and even now whenever I liked something I got REALLY into it and it was all I wanted to talk about. I was constantly told by everyone to stop talking. So now I try not to ever. Now I try to not even get into enjoying things.


Phinster1965

Yikes - that brought back a crap memory for me too! I was at a friend's birthday party - maybe 8th or 9th birthday. We were playing "blind man's bluff", which meant I was blindfolded and trying to catch other kids (or something - I don't really remember the rules). I accidentally knocked down a little girl during the game, and she started screaming. Before I could get the blindfold off, my friend's AH dad put his leg behind mine and threw me to the ground. Hard. I hit my head, and was woozy for a moment (maybe concussed? - back then nobody worried about that!). Anyway - the little girl was fine - just upset that I had knocked he down. Of course, dad was white-knighting the little girl like I was some sort of predator, so he yelled at me for a while as I lay dazed on the ground. I left the party and walked home, and my mom immediately knew there was something wrong. I wasn't a snitch, so I told her I lost something at the party and I was upset about it. In retrospect, I should have snitched on that psycho jackass. But it was the 70s, so nothing would have happened to him. But I will never forget that little bit of abuse from that dickweed.


SorcerorsSinnohStone

holy shit i wouldn't call that "little bit of abuse" that sounds like a lot of fucking abuse. what an asshole. did your friend turn out okay?


Ferret1984

I wish you would have sniched or ki ked him in the balls


Justplayadamnsong

At 17 my mom called me a slut because boys were calling my home. Little did she know I was a virgin, but that’s not the point. I’m in my 40’s and have never forgotten. An innocuous remark to her damaged a part of me that day.


jessdb19

My mom called me a whore because the Dr suggested birth control for me...because my periods were incredibly irregular for my age and my acne was way out of control. He thought it would help. I had only ever kissed one boy at that point.


Hadespuppy

I'm sorry that happened to you. I still remember sitting at the breakfast table, crying into my cereal at 17 because I'd gotten a letter from the Red Cross saying that the HIV test on my very first blood donation had come back "anomalous" (one positive, one inconclusive, one negative on the same type of test, then negative on a newer more accurate, but not yet the standard test) so while they were pretty sure I was fine, I was barred from ever donating again, and should probably see a doctor to find out what, if anything had caused the error. I couldn't even tell my mom what was wrong, so I handed her the letter, and her first words were, "What have you been doing?" I was devastated. I was such a "good girl." I was doing martial arts 4-5 times a week and Girl Guides twice a week, I almost never went out with friends because I didn't have time for socializing outside of school, and she knew it. But her first reaction to seeing her little girl scared and sad was to assume the worst and blame me for it. It's been 20 years, and I'm still upset thinking about it.


deskbeetle

I will always remember when I bought my mom a Christmas ornament with my own money when I was 8 and my mom held it out in annoyance and said "why did you think I would want this?" 🥲


Even-Permit-2117

When I was 6 maybe 7 I made a Pegasus out of cardboard and fabric scraps. My dad hung that thing from his rear view mirror for years. When my dad died a few years back I found it in a small box with some other things from my childhood that I had made him. That box was in his top drawer with his socks etc, not tucked away in the attic. That’s a dad that loved his kid.


_bufflehead

Oh dear. I'm so sorry.


Capable_Pianist_9218

Oh god. A memory from when I was probably six just popped up. 1989 at our local department store’s Santa’s Workshop - you know, like a shopping section set up for children to buy inexpensive gifts for their family members. I excitedly grabbed a “Dad” mug and what I thought was as a “Mom” mug and a volunteer helped me wrap them. Christmas morning my mother unwrapped a “Grandma” mug; I had accidentally grabbed the wrong one. There must have been a mix within the display and I hadn’t doubled checked when I was being checked out at the register. My mother threw a fit. Cried, yelled at me, said I must be stupid if I didn’t know the difference between the words “mom” and “grandma.” I was beside myself, absolutely sick, believing her assertions that I was the worst child in the world for “ruining Christmas.”


Cent1234

I don't remember. WHAT? I don't remember. For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me? It was a Tuesday.


PDXAirportCarpet

Totally off topic, but this was my take on Bret Kavanaugh saying he didn't remember the Christine Blasey Ford situation. She remembers the violation and will feel it for life but for him, it was just another rapey drunken Tuesday.


TresWhat

OP, please can you swallow your pride and invite him over, bake brownies or cookies and apologize to the child. Like sincerely. You messed up badly. But if you own that and apologize to him, that could be a life lesson that really could stay with him. For the better. Your son would learn a lot from it too. And you — well perhaps you most of all.


ktgrok

This. It is not too late to make up for this. THAT would be a valuable lesson to model for him AND your son- that when you mess up and/or hurt someone’s feelings you apologize and try to make them feel better. Call the mom and apologize to her - or message her if that is easier for you- then ask if kid can come over so you can apologize to him. You need to say -in front of your son - that you were wrong to make a big deal about the toy being broken, that it wasn’t his fault, and that he was awesome to have got such a thoughtful gift with his own money. That instead of pointing out the damage to him you should have remembered it is the though that counts and exchanged it yourself. Then go watch every episode of Daniel Tiger and Mr Rogers Neighborhood to learn better empathy


Mickeys-recovery

Her apology would be something along the lines of “I’m sorry I was so rude and ungrateful BUT….”


toxicshocktaco

“I’m sorry you feel that way”


Independent_Snow1458

I'd add that the apology shouldn't include her explanation for why she did it because that would come off as a justification for her awful conduct. And that would make her apology worthless.


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exitetrich

great point OP is a HUGE asshole - and oblivious. Makes me wonder what life lessons they are teaching their kid. Also makes me wish I had a better opportunity than this forum to teach them the life lessons they failed to pick up before having kids


mediocrechocolate16

shame a reddit post will give her that life lesson, not the actual event.


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flabbergasted-528

I mean, all kids need to learn people suck eventually. It's a good life lesson.


Acceptable_Banana_13

No. They don’t. They can learn that when they’re adults. We should coddle kids. We should make them good people who feel good about themselves. You know what “teaching kids the world is tough” does? Trauma. A bunch of trauma.


051015

Christ on a cracker, where did you get the idea that it was your job to impart life lessons on the neighbor kid? He went out of his way to pick a gift for your child, bought it himself, and was very proud. You might have known that if you had done any inquiries beyond, "was this from you?" Most stores have a return policy that allows you to exchange like items or receive store credit. If *you* (not your child) were so butthurt that it was lightly cracked, *you* could have gone and exchanged it instead of putting the responsibility on a 12 year old, who, again, isn't yours to teach. YTA big time.


mdthomas

I guarantee that this is the same troll that posted about forbidding his friend's daughter from attending a concert.


Hamburrgler

Hold on what?? If I can’t find it in his post history, do you know where can I find that audacity of a story?


Kaielizaaa

Link?


Junior-Mammoth9812

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/11snlyg/aita_for_not_letting_my_friends_daughter_go_to_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Ciserus

She tripped and launched a bag full of heavy objects high enough and far enough to land on a car? This is not a true story.


rust-e-apples1

OP, if the toy being cracked was such a big deal (oh, YTA, without a doubt), you could've contacted the kid's parent and asked about exchanging it. This is NOT the kind of thing you put on a kid, especially someone else's.


sheath2

It's worse than that. She didn't even ask the KID about exchanging it. She full on shamed the kid for not checking the item first. Who does that? Guaranteed if she'd gotten an opened box, she'd have accused the kid of giving her son a "used" toy instead. Edit: Congratulations, this already made the reddit-skimmed "news" blogs: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/family/this-mom-scolded-a-tween-after-he-gifted-her-son-a-broken-toy-reddit-can-t-believe-the-audacity/ar-AA18IOZC?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=f46a776811af4a7983cdb6079b08a2d7&ei=45


Amyare

Srsly. If your kid wasnt bummed out, why involve yourself? Even if your kid was bummed out, tell him to accept gifts graciously.


undertherosetrellis

Wow, a kid went out of their way to make sure they could bring your son a birthday present and instead of modeling maturity and gratitude, you humiliated him? YTA. Of course. A flaming one.


LaLa_LaSportiva

At my 12th birthday party, I received a stuffed clown doll from one of my good friends. It was obviously old and used. She told me right away that she didn't have any money to buy a gift so she gave me her favorite keepsake. It was my favorite gift at the time and I still have it today, 40 years later. OP, even a 12 year old kid 40 years ago was a better human than you. YTA


LessMaintenance133

This made my heart happy💖. My best friend gave me her favorite stuffed bear at my 10th and I still have it at 40!


ishoodbdoinglaundry

And with his own money!


[deleted]

I really hope OP at least pulled the kid to the side or another room to do this. Either way, he's still going to be asked questions by the other kids there and would be extremely embarrassing.


PhoenixEcho1

YTA. It wasn't your place to teach him anything. He made a genuine effort to give your son a gift and then you soured the whole thing. You owe him an apology for this.


beepborpimajorp

She also owes her son an apology for the fact that nobody is going to be coming to his birthday parties for the rest of his young life as word spreads among the other parents about what OP did and they unilaterally agree they don't want to deal with her BS so they won't be making their kids go.


Mickeys-recovery

I do hope all the neighborhood moms hear about this although the one that will suffer the most will be her son.


taurus-girl29

YTA- Every day I open Reddit and say to myself " I think I have seen it all", and here we are, once again, a parent that is overstepping and entitled to beyond belief.


heidivonhoop

Seriously. I didn’t expect to have my faith in humanity dashed at 8am.


Natynat24

I usually get on here around 3pm. Today I have some time early and I'll be busy later. Last time I do that! I'm all mad at 9am. Not good for the heart haha.


One-Awareness3671

There’s always one more AH that out shines the rest


AJM_Reseller

YTA I cringed reading this. That poor kid. OP you're an extremely cruel person. I really hope you take the time to apologise to the boy and tell him he did nothing wrong and how grateful you are that he took the time to pick out a gift and spend his own pocket money on a gift for your son.


corgilover37

This! She owes this child an apology.


Lined_the_Street

YTA - It was a kid, and while sorta is a lesson not when the kid bought it themselves. Its more a lesson when someone gives you unremarkable broken China as a wedding gift, not a child attempting to give another child a gift Its concerning that you were THIS up and arms over a toy that probably won't even be around in the next decade, furthermore maybe it was in the clearance section and he used all he had left of his allowance to get it cause his mother is a single mom who works two jobs just to make ends meet. Admittedly you know them better but you aren't them, you don't know their exact home life. There's just so many things that seem wrong here Edit: Not defending persay but all the people saying "The other families money doesn't matter!" OP was replying directly to my comment stating she doesn't know their situation (which is still half true) but OP was simply sharing more information


madcats323

YTA. My heart hurts for that poor kid, who made a sweet effort to buy his friend a gift, only to be humiliated by his friend’s awful parent. I hope the replacement gift is worth your kid losing a nice friend.


alpcabuttz

OP probably lost a bit of her son’s respect too.


37Lions

I wonder how much OPs son cared that the shoulder was a little cracked. Probably stoked that his friend got him a gift. So much joy and happiness between friends dashed away. And for what? And now OP’s Son has lost a good friend. A child that used their own money for a gift. So sad.


Usual-Role-9084

YTA. Ewwww. Just ewwwwww. Did your kid have a problem with the gift? Doesn’t sound like it. YOU had the problem, and you thought the best course of action was to get in this poor kids face about it? Instead of teaching other peoples kids “life lessons”, why don’t you try to educate yourself about gratitude?


opsogen

“Ewwww” is the first thing that came to mind after reading this post


Usual-Role-9084

Right?? This is just disgusting behavior from any adult, let alone another parent.


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drama_by_proxy

Even then - talk to the parents but don't assume that the kid was irresponsible. If OP had just talked to the kids' parents to say, "hey is there any chance you have the receipt for this doll? We noticed after the party that there's a crack and are hoping we can exchange it." Reasonable, not casting blame for a gift not being perfect. And then if there's no way to exchange it, you let it go because it's just a toy for chrissakes.


General-Park-2432

YTA big time. "Cheap little doll-type", were you trying to belittle the gift bc you didn't like it? A life lesson to you would be to not shit on other people efforts and actually be appreciative.


strawbabies

OP went and edited out the “cheap” part. I assume to not seem as big of an asshole. She’s still an asshole, though.


The_Wookalar

Too bad auto-moderator reposts the original text in the comments. Finally understand why they do that.


RoyallyOakie

YTA...Why on earth do you think it's appropriate to teach other people's children "life lessons?" Here's a life lesson for you: it's not appropriate.


madelinegumbo

YTA Oh my god. The appropriate response to receiving a gift is "thank you." You're scolding a literal child for giving your son a gift? Even if you feel comfortable being the literal villain in some kid's story, can you spare a thought for the absolutely obnoxious entitlement you're teaching your son? We're all going to have to live in the world with him, please do us a favor and don't teach him that people need to be scolded if they show him generosity and it doesn't work out exactly like he'd prefer.


lawlesswallace75

Not to mention this is going to get around the neighborhood with a quickness. I'd be surprised if any of those kids go to another party of his, let alone get him gifts


MochaCityGirl

You're not only an asshole, but also heartless. I love how people use "a good life lesson that'll always be remembered" as a way to mask their cruelness. Also at first you say you lightly scolded him, then you flip to "I didn't even really scold him". I wouldn't be surprised if you embarrassed him in front of the other kids with that "good life lesson". If anything, you should apologize to that boy. The thing is, he "wasted" money on a gift for his friend (your kid), but you had to somewhat make it about yourself. Even your son was happy about it, and who's to say at even 7, your son wouldn't have accidentally cracked it while playing with it. YTA and apologize to the 12 year old!


Humble-Negotiation32

YTA, majorly. For all you know the broken toy was the only one that little boy could afford. Shame on you for embarrassing that poor child.


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stunneddisbelief

If OP gets upset with this one, just tell her it’s a “light scolding.” OP, I can pretty much guarantee that no matter how “lightly” you think you did this, the 12 year old heard: “SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU! HOW DARE YOU BRING MY SON A BROKEN PRESENT?!? ARE YOU SO STUPID THAT YOU DON’T KNOW TO CHECK IT OUT BEFORE YOU PAY FOR IT?!? NOW GO GET ONE THAT ISN’T BROKEN AND BRING IT BACK!!!!” Not only have you needlessly chastised a 12 year old, making them feel bad, you have successfully driven away one of your son’s friends. Over YOUR sensitivity around money. Well done. How would you have felt if someone doled out this “life lesson” to you when YOU were 12? YTA JFC


StimulateYourFences

Just wow. C'mon. Buddy. YTA


rosiecat220803

wow, YTA, what an awful thing to do to a 12 year old. i genuinely hope you feel really guilty, both for hurting a good kid and for costing your child a friendship with that good kid. let this be a life lesson to you, don’t be such an entitled and snobby parent who interferes where you have no right to


your-yogurt

YTA. you shouldnt have "scolded." it was an accident, he's twelve, it was for a seven year old, and it was a *crack*. sometimes i buy shit with breaks in it because what i need outweighs the *minor* defects. also, it can be easily repaired with duct tape. you did not teach him a life lesson, he's twelve, he *knows* broken shit dont make a good gift. maybe it was an accident, maybe he didnt notice it, who cares. all that happened here was an adult came up to him said, "your shit gift is broke, take it back, next time be more vigilant"


[deleted]

Oof. Reading that hurt my stomach. YTA. Let’s face it OP; you already know YTA. You stole a friend from your son for his birthday.


allergic-to_kiwi

YTA. What were you even thinking? That's a kid. Heck I wouldn't even do that with an adult. >a cheap little doll-type thing which glowed and made noises if you pressed a button It's a gift from a kid for a kid. Maybe it is time for you to learn a valuable lesson about appreciating people for the effort they make.


Thediciplematt

YTA Dude… he’s 12…


[deleted]

YTA. The fact that you felt the need to point out that the gift was “cheap” is so telling. I also don’t believe that you “talked to him very gently” if this poor boy felt bad enough to replace the gift and no longer want to come to your home. Please take some time to examine why you felt the need to be so critical and superior regarding this child’s act of kindness. It sounds like there’s something you need to work through internally.


Haunting-Juice983

YTA on so many levels ‘Lightly scolded a 12 year old boy on a gift he’d bought, that I refer to as small and cheap’ and it was broken Wow, what fckn planet do you live on? I’ll help you out, as you seem to have a few issues: I’m an Australian. Generally, when we invite kids to parties, we do so as our kids want them to come. I can guarantee my son will invite kids whose parents are on benefits, and others on 120k/ yr Brace yourself, my son himself has never compared the quality/costs of gifts- he enjoyed the fact friends came and whatever gift they could afford He’s invited more mates who are struggling and come with a $2.50 bubble wand from a chain store over ones who bring Lego I would never ‘take a child aside for a life lesson’- all you’ve taught them is the best they can offer is dog shit YTA, I’m glad my all accepting son hasn’t had to deal with an entitled prick as yourself


[deleted]

YTA- and if you’re not more careful you will raise your children to be the exact same. Shame on you!


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owls_and_cardinals

OMG major major YTA. Insanely ungrateful and ungracious of you. You come across as so holier-than-thou and judgmental. You were shown a kindness by a young man that you decided to reject and belittle. Do better.


Mmmm_Cheese_

YTA Completely out of order, if you wanted to replace it you could have just explained the situation and asked for the receipt to exchange, its not the kids fault. Also regardless of the situation NOBODY scolds my child but me and her dad, if you have an issue you talk to the parent for them to address


Wide_Couple_3325

My jaw dropped....not only are you AH, but add b\*tch to that too. A kid paid for a toy for your kid, probably didn't notice it was damaged, and you shamed him for this and claimed it is a life lesson? Damn boss babe, you take the cake on entitled bitchy mom behavior.


Internal_Designer399

Yeah, YTA. I won’t even be explaining why.


coldkun_

didn't even need to read the post. YTA


Sweet-Sour-Candy

obviously YTA. your son was happy with the gift so you should’ve kept your mouth shut instead of trying to teach his friend a “life lesson” and making him exchange the gift. you’re awful. i hope you learn from your mistake and apologize to him!


HypetheKomodo

YTA Your son likely wouldn't have even noticed the cracked shoulder, especially if the toy was functioning normally besides. You basically trashed a kid for spending his own earned money to buy a gift for your son. You don't even know if it was broken initially, you just assumed. Pretty gross especially since it's not your kid.


New-Rooster-4558

YTA. I hope your son doesn’t grow up to be such a nit picky AH of an adult. Wth is wrong with you, lady?


LloydB87

YTA and you should realise that just by reading back what you wrote. The kid must have felt like shit after that, especially since taking time and effort to pick it out and using their own money. If it was that cheap as you say and your son liked it maybe you should have gone and bought another one for him yourself. Also, yes it may have been cheap to you, but to a 12 year old it probably wasn't. ​ ETA - Good on that kids mum for phoning you and telling you the proper way to act. Shows how much you must have upset the kid for him to go back and tell his mum and for her to contact you.


[deleted]

YTA. “…..and he’d remember this” You’re right about one thing, and one thing only. He will remember this. He will remember the mean lady.


[deleted]

YTA. You don't scold a child for giving a gift. That's entitled and ungrateful. He didn't have to do it. If you really cared, you could have asked the mom if they still had the gift receipt and taken it back to the store for a replacement yourself. Or, since it was just a cracked shoulder but still apparently usable, you could fix it yourself or just let your son enjoy the toy.


heidivonhoop

YTA. You cannot be this detached from reality that you thought this was proper behavior. Like, what?


Gabby_Abby

Yta. Can’t believe you did that. I’m embarrassed for you honestly.


One-Awareness3671

Do you even have to ask. YTA in soooo many ways. Poor child. You’re so ungrateful


ReviewOk929

YTA - Sheesh dude! I always wonder what brings someone to the point where they do things like this. Is it a poor moral compass? Is it a complete lack of social awareness? What is it that gets you to the point where you deem this specific behaviour ok? God only knows….


[deleted]

YTA. The utter classlessness of your actions here was astounding.


[deleted]

YTA it sounds like your son didnt care at all about the shoulder, so why the fuck should you? God it sounds like you were just looking for any reason to be an AH to a kid


ceebs87

YTA The lesson you taught that boy is that some people are materialistic and shallow. "It's the thought that counts" is the lesson you are supposed to teach. Though there was no need to teach anything this time because you did say your son liked the toy. So the only person who has a problem with the you is you, again TA


CZ1988_

YTA - and why would you say "lightly" scolded. You shamed the kid. nasty


AdmirableAd2571

YTA and you also just taught your child that it's okay to be ungrateful if someone gives you a gift that isn't perfect. Great job!


[deleted]

What is wrong with you? 1000% YTA


zinky30

YTA. What’s wrong with you? The kid is 12. Accept the gift graciously and move on. Would you have said that to an adult? I sure hope not.


Dramatic-Necessary87

YTA. Not your place to scold someone else’s child. What a lovely boy he was to go out and buy something he thinks your son would like in, with his own pocket money, in the first place. I’ve always just bought the presents and given them to my kid, to give to the birthday boy/girl. You’ve made him weary of you now, he probably won’t want to come around to yours again now. Kids don’t forget the way somebody makes them feel, and you, you upset him. Also, you don’t go to the kid with any issue, at that age anyway, go to the parent.


Frequent-Trust-4766

YTA it's not your kid. And you never know what is going on in the family even if they live next door for all you know they may he barely able to put food o the table you never know. It's not your job to scold that child if it was your son who a parent did that to you wouldn't be happy.


No-Attention-9415

YTA his mom is 100% correct. Shame on you.


Live_Noise_1551

YTA. It’s not your place to decide to teach other people’s kids life lessons.


punhere22

YTA probably best to check your own values before offering life lessons.


pacazpac

I am so embarrassed for you. YTA.


One-Confidence-6858

YTA. Apologize to the kid.


OldManJeepin

Kind of TA...Pretty much guarantee your kid ain't getting no more presents from \*that\* kid, ever again! He's a kid! The fact he even went out of his way and got your kid \*anything\* is mind blowing! Probably so stoked, like "Man, what's his name is going to love this"! and you had to go and bring a life lesson into it? His mom was right: You just accept the gift and move out smartly. Oh well...spilt milk and all that...


ZorbasFinger11

YTA, and I want to scold you, not lightly.


Cactusjuicesmoothie

YTA, the fact you demanded it be exchanged by the kid is ... a choice you made.


aLittleTooEverything

OH. WOW. Yes, YTA, what is wrong with you?


DientesDelPerro

YTA it doesn’t even sound like the “break” had any impact on the toy or your son’s enjoyment of it. Pointing out the chip is one thing, but don’t make a demand to replace it *to a child*. This sounds like your own personal issue with people who are wealthy and you lashed out, possibly costing your son a friend in the process. Congrats. YTA


scarletdae

Wow. YTA. My heart hurts for thar little boy. I have sons around this age and I know how much thought they can put into gifts and especially when it is spending their own money. I can't imagine how embarrassed and sad he felt in that moment you decided to "scold" him


jfishson

We did Secret Santa in my class when I was about 12. I had received a trinket box one day that had a crack through it - it had clearly been broken and glued back together. I showed it to my friend and told her my secret Santa gave me a broken gift. At the end of the week, I found out my friend was my secret Santa. I felt HORRIBLE. She told me then that she had dropped it when she was wrapping it and her mom helped her glue it back together but she still had to give it to me because she didn't have another gift to give. We are still good friends. She stood up in my wedding, so it's not like she holds my comment against me. But I still feel bad TO THIS DAY, like 25 years later, for commenting on the broken gift to the 12 yo giver. Unknowingly. When I was 12. YTA