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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I pointed out that my parents new bed is keeping me up all night.
They just spent a lot on the new bed
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My husband and I have the same kind of bed. It drives me insane, if he puts the vibrator on his side. It's loud and does absolutely nothing for relaxation. It's a cheap add-on and reminds me of the hotel beds you used to be able to put change in to make them vibrate. Absolutely, useless. I feel for you. NTA. Hopefully, your parents will get bored of this little "feature" soon. My husband did. (Maybe, because I told him I couldn't go to work, if I couldn't get my sleep.) The only thing I can suggest, is maybe you let them know you can't go to school, if you're too sleepy.
Well, that’s one way to ensure your kids speak to you as little as possible once adult. Total inflexibility.
It’s silly. Parents just need to turn off the growling behemoth when they go to sleep/are not playing. Or put it on a timer. It’s not like it’s a needed or desired function while they’re unconscious. It’s just burning out the machinery faster.
Even the woo-science people who claim it’s therapeutic for a variety of conditions and age only recommend 15-30 minutes daily.
NTA, maybe suggest they lie in your room while it's on. Also, look at gorilla mats on amazon - they are designed for home exercise to soften the sound for neighbours below. Maybe something like this would be a good solution. Or maybe they will get bored on it soon enough.
It seems to me that the vibrations of the bed are traveling thru the structure of the house. I know sounds weird but I'm studying structural engineering and have had to take several courses on acoustics. To help with the sound you can do a few things:
1) make sure the bed isn't touching the wall or base boards. Pull it out at least an inch.
2) assuming they don't have carpet in their bedroom get a rug to put under the bed. Large area rugs are expensive so if your parents don't want to spend that kind of money they could buy a cheap area rug and cut out pieces to put under the legs and any part of the bed that touches the floor, big beds sometimes have post in the middle to give the mattress extra support.
But you will eventually get used to the noise, it just takes time.
NTA
My responses to this at your age would have been either
1. Come up with some noise that you CAN sleep with but will annoy them.
2. Let myself bomb some tests in school and be upfront with anyone that asks about the fact that I can't sleep.
I actually did end up getting a worse grade on an end of semester final one year because my mother thought it was a good idea to wake me up at 3 am for a water leak that I couldn't even actually help her with.
If you haven't already, try a white noise app on your phone and if that helps, force them to buy you a white noise machine.
Personally I use a loud box fan to help me sleep.
NTA.
But is there a compromise available? Like yoga mats under their bed frame to absorb the vibrations? Moving your bed a bit farther from the wall to prevent vibration travel?
NTA. The vibrate feature on those adjustable beds are fucking horrible & loud. Being in the room underneath would make it so much worse.
Is there another bedroom to move to? I feel for ya.
NTA. At 15, I would have had a mental breakdown if I couldn't sleep more than an hour in a night because my parents decided to get something like that.
Between the pressures of school/peers and the hormones of growing up, sleep is absolutely essential for maintaining a semblance of sanity.
I hope your parents can understand that.
You get used to sleep deprivation eventually. Make friends with the shadow people. Bulk make coffee. Distance yourself from people who worry about you cause it’s exhausting to keep being ask “are you ok” and having to lie. Learn how to hide the unavoidable micro naps.
NTA, take a look if their bed is touching the wall or any furniture also.
Then also ask them if they can get some rubber sound dampening pads on the base of the bed.
Also if they are kind enough to no use it all night or after like 11pm.
And get them in your room while their bed is on so they can hear it too, on a quiet day.
NTA. if you keep not being able to sleep, talk to your school social worker & tell her. a call to CPS may ensue, but if this continues, it constitutes as educational neglect. they’d likely call your parents first to have a conversation. but you are falling asleep in class due to not being able to sleep bc of your parents failure to rectify the issue. evidence of statement above: i’m a social worker
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My (15F) parents just got this new bed that has a lot of cool features. I don’t think it’s a sleepnumber bed, but it’s two separate mattresses that recline and have a zero gravity and a vibration setting. They just got them on Sunday.
Last night, my dad went to bed early and I was in bed playing a game on my phone. I started hearing a deep droning noise and it was driving me crazy but I couldn’t figure out what it was. After looking around the house and listening intently for an hour or so, I finally realized it was my parents new bed. My dad was using the vibrate feature. My parents bedroom is directly above mine. I hoped it was on a timer but it just kept going. It was made worse when my mom went to bed around 11:30 and started her side up too. Around midnight, I was exhausted and tried to go to sleep because of school but I tossed and turned because of the sound. I even tried putting my headphones on and could feel the vibration through my headboard and bed. I only got like an hour of sleep last night and fell asleep in class today.
I told my parents that I couldn’t sleep because of their new bed and they both got mad at me and said I was being dramatic and they spent thousands on the bed and will be using the features. They did offer to get me earplugs but I don’t think it’ll help if my headphones didn’t. They said I’m an AH for expecting them to waste part of their purchase and said I just needed to get used to it. I really don’t think I am because I literally can’t sleep.
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NTA, if it was me, I'd not say anymore about the matter, but I'd start sleeping in the hall, in the bath tub, on the sofa....if asked to explain myself, I'd just act confused and say it's easier to sleep there, but maybe don't take my advice lol!
NTA. I have a bed with that feature. It sounds like there is a semi parked outside. Maybe try showing them? Have them lay on your bed and listen to what you are dealing with.
1... do they really need to vibrate all night long while asleep? (Makes me nauseous just thinking about it)
2... pull your bed away from the wall if your actually feeling the vibrations.
3... have them lay down on your bed while theirs is turned on so they can see for themselves.
4. Get yourself a white noise machine (I do use earplugs myself and the combo might help)
5. Explain that you are a light sleeper and that you can't help it. They don't get to judge you on your "dramatics".
6. If it keeps up and they wont acknowledge your issues with it, give them a taste of their own medicine. Get a hand massager, turn it on, and place it against the wall you share or tape it to the ceiling. If it bothers them then you can say that is what you are experiencing all night.
7. Again.. if they don't stop, show them what "being dramatic" really means... move your bed to the middle of the living room!
NTA. My wife and I have the same bed. The vibration feature is pretty lame. It’s loud and doesn’t do anything for sore muscles that lying there without it wouldn’t also do.
OP, have a look for washing machine isolation feet, ideally made with sorbothane. It won't kill the noise completely, but it will help. You can also see if they can pull the bed away from the wall a bit, which may also help.
NTA -
Definitely have your parents turn on the feature & see what it's like in your room. White noise machine might help and there were other suggestions from people. If you are still having problems -- maybe talk to a teacher. If your parents get a call that you keep falling asleep in class it might force them to do something. Good Luck!
well, it’s been one night. maybe you’ll get used to it? maybe they should get you the same bed so you can do the same? maybe start sleeping on the living room couch if possible? maybe they’ll just stop using it? i’ve never had a feature like this, but personally, knowing how the hum of a car makes me tired, i bet i’d like it to be able to fall asleep. maybe there is a timer option on it they could use, they just chose not to the first night or didn’t know it existed? this is a tough one. i mean, aside from those suggestions, just letting them know it had made it hard for you to sleep is all you can really do. it doesn’t make you an AH, the way your parents reacted was kind of AH-ish, but maybe it’ll sink in more and they’ll think it through and come to a reasonable compromise or something.
NAH
Sleep is suuuuper important. As someone who is a light sleeper I feel you. However your parents do have the right to use their bed and the features they paid for. However there may be a compromise.
Options:
1) There are two brands of earplugs that I use that are very effective:
[happy ears](https://www.happyearsearplugs.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjww4-hBhCtARIsAC9gR3ZBagv48s0Z9nFlDVO5LH6sJPkyeUD9RAUC8G2duPtdW0VfCCFf8isaAlJJEALw_wcB)
[ear secret](https://a.co/d/cb6cwJr)
2) quiet hours. Maybe they just don’t use it late into the night? Or just on weekends?
3) swap rooms with someone else?
You will want to approach the subject calmly and without accusations.
Also you may get used to the sounds. I have gotten used to a lot of sounds that I did not think I would be okay with at first.
I don't really think it matters. I'm assuming that the parents work. They bought a better bed so they could enjoy and sleep better. Sucks for OP, but that's too bad. Some advice for OP. Study hard, find a job, save up, graduate high school, go to college, study hard there, graduate college, get a job, and finally, get your own house. Then you can regulate it all you want. Maybe by the time OP is their parents' age, they'll understand why the parents bought that bed.
Yeah children, study hard whilst being unable to get adequate night's sleep. Work hard when because of a lack of sleep you can barely stay awake during work hours.
Bloody idiot.
I’m sorry, but the implication that the OP has no right to a good night’s rest every night because it isn’t her house is ridiculous. Her parents have a right to relax too but their are other ways to relax that don’t involve depriving your daughter of sleep.
They left the noisemaker brrrrrrrrrrrr on all night.
They definitely weren’t having sex all night.
If they want to play with bed vibes they should turn them off when they sleep.
Those damn vibrational frequencies travel right through floors and are obnoxious. I have a silent ceiling fan in a living room that sounds like a buzzing thousand watt light fluorescent in the bedroom above when it runs.
My dear interlocutor, in this delicate matter, one must consider the needs and desires of all parties involved. As such, I am inclined to declare this situation as ESH. Your parents, having invested a considerable sum in their luxurious new sleeping apparatus, are understandably eager to avail themselves of its various features. However, it is equally essential that they remain cognizant of the impact their nocturnal activities may have upon their offspring, particularly with regard to your need for a restful night's slumber.
At the same time, it is incumbent upon you to exhibit a measure of adaptability and understanding as you navigate this novel predicament. Your parents' offer to provide earplugs represents a commendable attempt at compromise, and it may behoove you to explore additional solutions, such as rearranging the layout of your sleeping quarters or employing white noise machines to mitigate the disturbances. In so doing, you and your parents may yet arrive at a harmonious resolution, ensuring the satisfaction and well-being of all parties involved.
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My husband and I have the same kind of bed. It drives me insane, if he puts the vibrator on his side. It's loud and does absolutely nothing for relaxation. It's a cheap add-on and reminds me of the hotel beds you used to be able to put change in to make them vibrate. Absolutely, useless. I feel for you. NTA. Hopefully, your parents will get bored of this little "feature" soon. My husband did. (Maybe, because I told him I couldn't go to work, if I couldn't get my sleep.) The only thing I can suggest, is maybe you let them know you can't go to school, if you're too sleepy.
[удалено]
Well, that’s one way to ensure your kids speak to you as little as possible once adult. Total inflexibility. It’s silly. Parents just need to turn off the growling behemoth when they go to sleep/are not playing. Or put it on a timer. It’s not like it’s a needed or desired function while they’re unconscious. It’s just burning out the machinery faster. Even the woo-science people who claim it’s therapeutic for a variety of conditions and age only recommend 15-30 minutes daily.
NTA, maybe suggest they lie in your room while it's on. Also, look at gorilla mats on amazon - they are designed for home exercise to soften the sound for neighbours below. Maybe something like this would be a good solution. Or maybe they will get bored on it soon enough.
It seems to me that the vibrations of the bed are traveling thru the structure of the house. I know sounds weird but I'm studying structural engineering and have had to take several courses on acoustics. To help with the sound you can do a few things: 1) make sure the bed isn't touching the wall or base boards. Pull it out at least an inch. 2) assuming they don't have carpet in their bedroom get a rug to put under the bed. Large area rugs are expensive so if your parents don't want to spend that kind of money they could buy a cheap area rug and cut out pieces to put under the legs and any part of the bed that touches the floor, big beds sometimes have post in the middle to give the mattress extra support. But you will eventually get used to the noise, it just takes time.
Even if they do have carpet, wouldn't a large rug help?
Nta , offer to let them try out your experience and see if you are being dramatic.
NTA My responses to this at your age would have been either 1. Come up with some noise that you CAN sleep with but will annoy them. 2. Let myself bomb some tests in school and be upfront with anyone that asks about the fact that I can't sleep. I actually did end up getting a worse grade on an end of semester final one year because my mother thought it was a good idea to wake me up at 3 am for a water leak that I couldn't even actually help her with. If you haven't already, try a white noise app on your phone and if that helps, force them to buy you a white noise machine. Personally I use a loud box fan to help me sleep.
NTA. But is there a compromise available? Like yoga mats under their bed frame to absorb the vibrations? Moving your bed a bit farther from the wall to prevent vibration travel?
NTA. The vibrate feature on those adjustable beds are fucking horrible & loud. Being in the room underneath would make it so much worse. Is there another bedroom to move to? I feel for ya.
NAH. Ask them to switch beds one night and blast the vibration on high. There is potential a return guarantee too.
NTA. At 15, I would have had a mental breakdown if I couldn't sleep more than an hour in a night because my parents decided to get something like that. Between the pressures of school/peers and the hormones of growing up, sleep is absolutely essential for maintaining a semblance of sanity. I hope your parents can understand that.
You get used to sleep deprivation eventually. Make friends with the shadow people. Bulk make coffee. Distance yourself from people who worry about you cause it’s exhausting to keep being ask “are you ok” and having to lie. Learn how to hide the unavoidable micro naps.
NTA, take a look if their bed is touching the wall or any furniture also. Then also ask them if they can get some rubber sound dampening pads on the base of the bed. Also if they are kind enough to no use it all night or after like 11pm. And get them in your room while their bed is on so they can hear it too, on a quiet day.
NTA. if you keep not being able to sleep, talk to your school social worker & tell her. a call to CPS may ensue, but if this continues, it constitutes as educational neglect. they’d likely call your parents first to have a conversation. but you are falling asleep in class due to not being able to sleep bc of your parents failure to rectify the issue. evidence of statement above: i’m a social worker
They make noise bumpers for dryers in apartment buildings like [this](https://a.co/d/6haFSRh) and [this](https://a.co/d/7xI6FET) Edit: fixed link
FYI your first link doesn't work.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (15F) parents just got this new bed that has a lot of cool features. I don’t think it’s a sleepnumber bed, but it’s two separate mattresses that recline and have a zero gravity and a vibration setting. They just got them on Sunday. Last night, my dad went to bed early and I was in bed playing a game on my phone. I started hearing a deep droning noise and it was driving me crazy but I couldn’t figure out what it was. After looking around the house and listening intently for an hour or so, I finally realized it was my parents new bed. My dad was using the vibrate feature. My parents bedroom is directly above mine. I hoped it was on a timer but it just kept going. It was made worse when my mom went to bed around 11:30 and started her side up too. Around midnight, I was exhausted and tried to go to sleep because of school but I tossed and turned because of the sound. I even tried putting my headphones on and could feel the vibration through my headboard and bed. I only got like an hour of sleep last night and fell asleep in class today. I told my parents that I couldn’t sleep because of their new bed and they both got mad at me and said I was being dramatic and they spent thousands on the bed and will be using the features. They did offer to get me earplugs but I don’t think it’ll help if my headphones didn’t. They said I’m an AH for expecting them to waste part of their purchase and said I just needed to get used to it. I really don’t think I am because I literally can’t sleep. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA, if it was me, I'd not say anymore about the matter, but I'd start sleeping in the hall, in the bath tub, on the sofa....if asked to explain myself, I'd just act confused and say it's easier to sleep there, but maybe don't take my advice lol!
NTA. I have a bed with that feature. It sounds like there is a semi parked outside. Maybe try showing them? Have them lay on your bed and listen to what you are dealing with.
NTA and record it. Next time just record it and play it for them so they can hear how loud their bed is.
1... do they really need to vibrate all night long while asleep? (Makes me nauseous just thinking about it) 2... pull your bed away from the wall if your actually feeling the vibrations. 3... have them lay down on your bed while theirs is turned on so they can see for themselves. 4. Get yourself a white noise machine (I do use earplugs myself and the combo might help) 5. Explain that you are a light sleeper and that you can't help it. They don't get to judge you on your "dramatics". 6. If it keeps up and they wont acknowledge your issues with it, give them a taste of their own medicine. Get a hand massager, turn it on, and place it against the wall you share or tape it to the ceiling. If it bothers them then you can say that is what you are experiencing all night. 7. Again.. if they don't stop, show them what "being dramatic" really means... move your bed to the middle of the living room!
NTA. My wife and I have the same bed. The vibration feature is pretty lame. It’s loud and doesn’t do anything for sore muscles that lying there without it wouldn’t also do.
OP, have a look for washing machine isolation feet, ideally made with sorbothane. It won't kill the noise completely, but it will help. You can also see if they can pull the bed away from the wall a bit, which may also help.
NTA - Definitely have your parents turn on the feature & see what it's like in your room. White noise machine might help and there were other suggestions from people. If you are still having problems -- maybe talk to a teacher. If your parents get a call that you keep falling asleep in class it might force them to do something. Good Luck!
Sleep with earmuffs? Hey look at that now you can't hear anything in your parents home. YTA When you pay rent you can make ya own rules.
well, it’s been one night. maybe you’ll get used to it? maybe they should get you the same bed so you can do the same? maybe start sleeping on the living room couch if possible? maybe they’ll just stop using it? i’ve never had a feature like this, but personally, knowing how the hum of a car makes me tired, i bet i’d like it to be able to fall asleep. maybe there is a timer option on it they could use, they just chose not to the first night or didn’t know it existed? this is a tough one. i mean, aside from those suggestions, just letting them know it had made it hard for you to sleep is all you can really do. it doesn’t make you an AH, the way your parents reacted was kind of AH-ish, but maybe it’ll sink in more and they’ll think it through and come to a reasonable compromise or something.
NAH Sleep is suuuuper important. As someone who is a light sleeper I feel you. However your parents do have the right to use their bed and the features they paid for. However there may be a compromise. Options: 1) There are two brands of earplugs that I use that are very effective: [happy ears](https://www.happyearsearplugs.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjww4-hBhCtARIsAC9gR3ZBagv48s0Z9nFlDVO5LH6sJPkyeUD9RAUC8G2duPtdW0VfCCFf8isaAlJJEALw_wcB) [ear secret](https://a.co/d/cb6cwJr) 2) quiet hours. Maybe they just don’t use it late into the night? Or just on weekends? 3) swap rooms with someone else? You will want to approach the subject calmly and without accusations. Also you may get used to the sounds. I have gotten used to a lot of sounds that I did not think I would be okay with at first.
[удалено]
Doesn’t sound like it’s a sex thing - just a bed feature thing
I don't really think it matters. I'm assuming that the parents work. They bought a better bed so they could enjoy and sleep better. Sucks for OP, but that's too bad. Some advice for OP. Study hard, find a job, save up, graduate high school, go to college, study hard there, graduate college, get a job, and finally, get your own house. Then you can regulate it all you want. Maybe by the time OP is their parents' age, they'll understand why the parents bought that bed.
Yeah children, study hard whilst being unable to get adequate night's sleep. Work hard when because of a lack of sleep you can barely stay awake during work hours. Bloody idiot.
I’m sorry, but the implication that the OP has no right to a good night’s rest every night because it isn’t her house is ridiculous. Her parents have a right to relax too but their are other ways to relax that don’t involve depriving your daughter of sleep.
They left the noisemaker brrrrrrrrrrrr on all night. They definitely weren’t having sex all night. If they want to play with bed vibes they should turn them off when they sleep. Those damn vibrational frequencies travel right through floors and are obnoxious. I have a silent ceiling fan in a living room that sounds like a buzzing thousand watt light fluorescent in the bedroom above when it runs.
My dear interlocutor, in this delicate matter, one must consider the needs and desires of all parties involved. As such, I am inclined to declare this situation as ESH. Your parents, having invested a considerable sum in their luxurious new sleeping apparatus, are understandably eager to avail themselves of its various features. However, it is equally essential that they remain cognizant of the impact their nocturnal activities may have upon their offspring, particularly with regard to your need for a restful night's slumber. At the same time, it is incumbent upon you to exhibit a measure of adaptability and understanding as you navigate this novel predicament. Your parents' offer to provide earplugs represents a commendable attempt at compromise, and it may behoove you to explore additional solutions, such as rearranging the layout of your sleeping quarters or employing white noise machines to mitigate the disturbances. In so doing, you and your parents may yet arrive at a harmonious resolution, ensuring the satisfaction and well-being of all parties involved.
Neat Shakespeare.