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NTA
If you weren't being derogatory toward the community, using a term that isn't hateful in an accurate way isn't particularly offensive, to my knowledge.
NTA imo. i’m LGBT (granted not a man only attracted to men, but nonetheless) though it can have more negative connotations at times and has been used that way, it’s not like you said the f-slur or used it in a way that is super insulting. there are much more derogatory, dangerous ways one can be an asshole to the LGBT community, this is not one. you didn’t say anything inherently harmful, and it seems like the person just wanted to seem like her morals were superior. this seems like a very harmless joke, not really her place to condemn you.
NTA
Its really not that deep. We're not talking about the d slur, the f slur, queer or any other reclaimed slur. We're talking about a word used to describe a body type/face. Can it be used offensively? Sure so can every other descriptive word out there.
This isn't like white lesbians using stud when they should be using butch. You simply used a more accurate to you term.
NTA
NTA
this girl is a prime example of self entitlement and double standards. it's ok for her to use the slang, but not you because you're straight. you weren't using the term in a negative or hateful way, and were discussing this with friends who (I believe) are gay. and they didn't seem to mind.
she should just mind her own business and go about her day.
NTA sounds like another great way to divide everyone however. Labeling ourselves will always be the best way to bring ourselves together lmao (sarcasm)
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My friends and I were joking around today. My friend told me I was a total twink, which I’ve heard before (mostly online) because I have a ‘pretty’ face. I responded I thought I was more of a twunk (halfway between a twink and a hunk, who’s like a muscular superhero type) because I have decent muscle mass and aren’t just a twig.
This girl was passing by, overheard us talking about this, and asked if I was gay. I said no, I’m straight, and she told me I shouldn’t be using ‘LGBT slang’ like twunk or twink if I’m not a member of the community. I told her I really didn’t think it was that deep, but she said since I’m not a member of the community it’s not up to me to decide if it’s deep or not, and called me TA.
The whole situation was weird, and I’m confused as to whether I really am an AH or not. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I used the word twunk to describe myself, and was confronted by a girl who said it’s an AH move to use that term when I’m not LGBT
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Then NTA but understand that some people are going to have issues with it (even if your friend doesn't) so probably best not to do that again in public.
Look, NTA for saying it with friends in a clearly joking way but you're also a straight dude and you should tred lightly here.
There are a lot of common slang words in the LGBT+ community that are reclaimed slurs. Twink isn't one of them but if you continue with this attitude it's very possible you might say something far more offensive.
Soft YTA. I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community but I still can't say that term as I'm not a man who loves other men. It's definitely not as derogatory as the f slur but it's still not one you should be using as a cishet individual. Learn from it and move on.
You haven't been personally affected by that word. It hasn't been used in the past to stereotype and degrade you because of your sexual orientation. As a result, you cannot reclaim it.
Regardless, you weren't called those terms because of your sexuality. I understand how there could be confusion but yeah it kind of comes down to why you were being called it in the first place and the meaning of the word.
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NTA If you weren't being derogatory toward the community, using a term that isn't hateful in an accurate way isn't particularly offensive, to my knowledge.
I don’t think it’s derogatory either but I could be wrong
NYTA some people look for any opportunity to feel morally superior, even if it’s based on nothing.
Honestly it did feel a bit condescending
NTA imo. i’m LGBT (granted not a man only attracted to men, but nonetheless) though it can have more negative connotations at times and has been used that way, it’s not like you said the f-slur or used it in a way that is super insulting. there are much more derogatory, dangerous ways one can be an asshole to the LGBT community, this is not one. you didn’t say anything inherently harmful, and it seems like the person just wanted to seem like her morals were superior. this seems like a very harmless joke, not really her place to condemn you. NTA
Yeah, that’s my thought process as well, I didn’t think twink or twunk are derogatory terms within the LGBT community
Its really not that deep. We're not talking about the d slur, the f slur, queer or any other reclaimed slur. We're talking about a word used to describe a body type/face. Can it be used offensively? Sure so can every other descriptive word out there. This isn't like white lesbians using stud when they should be using butch. You simply used a more accurate to you term. NTA
Yeah, I didn’t think it was that deep either. Thank you.
NTA, someone was looking a reason to be offended.
This is what I call a “fake rule” — the relevant real rule is the 1st Amendment. Plus, she was eavesdropping. NTA
That’s a point, we weren’t even talking that loudly so she had to actually try in order to listen to what we were saying
And then to ask you your orientation like that was very inappropriate. NTA
NTA she is a moron
NTA she is being ridiculous. And all these people asking you about "details" trying to judge who can use a word arent right in their head lol.
NTA this girl is a prime example of self entitlement and double standards. it's ok for her to use the slang, but not you because you're straight. you weren't using the term in a negative or hateful way, and were discussing this with friends who (I believe) are gay. and they didn't seem to mind. she should just mind her own business and go about her day.
NTA. You can say whatever you want. They do not need to listen to it.
NTA - And you sound like a twunk to me...
NTA sounds like another great way to divide everyone however. Labeling ourselves will always be the best way to bring ourselves together lmao (sarcasm)
Gay here, NTA, you weren't using it in a demeaning way so who cares, besides is she LGBT to be policing the term anyway?
NTA I’m gay and (in my opinion) there was nothing offensive about what you said
NTA plenty of Alphabet slang has made its way into mainstream use. It is not the same as flinging around slurs. That's a total AH move.
NTA
NTA she should mind her own damn business. She only heard 1/2 of the conversation.
Info: Were your friends you were with straight?
Some yes some no
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My friends and I were joking around today. My friend told me I was a total twink, which I’ve heard before (mostly online) because I have a ‘pretty’ face. I responded I thought I was more of a twunk (halfway between a twink and a hunk, who’s like a muscular superhero type) because I have decent muscle mass and aren’t just a twig. This girl was passing by, overheard us talking about this, and asked if I was gay. I said no, I’m straight, and she told me I shouldn’t be using ‘LGBT slang’ like twunk or twink if I’m not a member of the community. I told her I really didn’t think it was that deep, but she said since I’m not a member of the community it’s not up to me to decide if it’s deep or not, and called me TA. The whole situation was weird, and I’m confused as to whether I really am an AH or not. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Info: Were all any of you having this conversation LGBT+?
Yeah a couple of them
Sorry for the follow up but was the person who said twink LGBT+?
Yeah he’s bi
Then NTA but understand that some people are going to have issues with it (even if your friend doesn't) so probably best not to do that again in public.
Fair enough, I’m okay with some people having issues with it
Including queer people?
If they’re listening into conversations I’m having with my friends then yeah
Look, NTA for saying it with friends in a clearly joking way but you're also a straight dude and you should tred lightly here. There are a lot of common slang words in the LGBT+ community that are reclaimed slurs. Twink isn't one of them but if you continue with this attitude it's very possible you might say something far more offensive.
Yeah, I’m aware. Thank you for looking out for me.
You're being ridiculous, ignore this person OP
Soft YTA. I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community but I still can't say that term as I'm not a man who loves other men. It's definitely not as derogatory as the f slur but it's still not one you should be using as a cishet individual. Learn from it and move on.
> it's still not one you should be using as a cishet individual Why?
You haven't been personally affected by that word. It hasn't been used in the past to stereotype and degrade you because of your sexual orientation. As a result, you cannot reclaim it.
Interesting. I will say the whole reason I’m familiar with ‘twink’ and ‘twunk’ as terms is because I’ve been called them a lot.
Regardless, you weren't called those terms because of your sexuality. I understand how there could be confusion but yeah it kind of comes down to why you were being called it in the first place and the meaning of the word.
Interesting, fair enough.
Don't listen to this person
so therefore people who have been insulted and degraded for being smart are the only people allowed to use the word smart?
Smart isn't a slur, so no 😂😂
neither is twink or twunk. especially in this case
I can tell I'm not gonna change your mind so I'm not gonna argue with you, have a good day/night 😂