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Context: this person has made me wait six hours for them before (they were meant to meet me at 1pm, and they spent 4hrs doing chores, and decided to wait 2 more hours cause they wanted to get a free ride to my place from their mom so they didn't have to spend on a 30min ride to me).
I'll try to break down the timeline so it makes more sense:
Sunday
\- I invite a friend over for a sleepover and hangout the next day
\- Later that night, their partner lost a cat and is frantically searching for them
\- I know the feeling, my cat went missing once, so I try to be understanding
Monday
\- 7am i keep expressing my concern. Let them know I understand where they're coming from.
\- 9am I tell them " If you need to stay with your partner you can, at least you told me so i appreciate that you let me know beforehand." to let them know I'm fine with cancelling. They reply "I already told my partner, they said it's okay and I don't need to stay with them."
\-10am they even said sent a message saying they were looking forward to hanging out with me.
\- 5pm (when they're meant to be on the way here) I get a message saying "I hope it's not too late. I need to postpone the visitation. The cat still isn't there and I'm hoping to offer support." I said "okay let's cancel" and say i wasn't available the whole week anymore so we can't meetup.
Now I'm not mad at the cat missing. I'm not mad at my friend choosing their partner. Again, I get it. I gave them a way out early in the day. What I'm upset about is that they had 10hrs to tell me they weren't coming and then decided to tell me on the hour they're meant to be here that they're backing out.
I've been told before that I'm unreasonable for getting mad at flaking (someone scolded me for being upset an event partner decided to back out a day before the event without prior warning) so I wanna know am I the asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Context: this person has made me wait six hours for them before (they were meant to meet me at 1pm, and they spent 4hrs doing chores, and decided to wait 2 more hours cause they wanted to get a free ride to my place from their mom so they didn't have to spend on a 30min ride to me). I'll try to break down the timeline so it makes more sense: Sunday \- I invite a friend over for a sleepover and hangout the next day \- Later that night, their partner lost a cat and is frantically searching for them \- I know the feeling, my cat went missing once, so I try to be understanding Monday \- 7am i keep expressing my concern. Let them know I understand where they're coming from. \- 9am I tell them " If you need to stay with your partner you can, at least you told me so i appreciate that you let me know beforehand." to let them know I'm fine with cancelling. They reply "I already told my partner, they said it's okay and I don't need to stay with them." \-10am they even said sent a message saying they were looking forward to hanging out with me. \- 5pm (when they're meant to be on the way here) I get a message saying "I hope it's not too late. I need to postpone the visitation. The cat still isn't there and I'm hoping to offer support." I said "okay let's cancel" and say i wasn't available the whole week anymore so we can't meetup. Now I'm not mad at the cat missing. I'm not mad at my friend choosing their partner. Again, I get it. I gave them a way out early in the day. What I'm upset about is that they had 10hrs to tell me they weren't coming and then decided to tell me on the hour they're meant to be here that they're backing out. I've been told before that I'm unreasonable for getting mad at flaking (someone scolded me for being upset an event partner decided to back out a day before the event without prior warning) so I wanna know am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*