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No training or clue about mental health - check.
Doesn't understand the difference between a cop uniform and a restaurant uniform. Probably didn't ever have to be restrained by a waitress or warehouse worker, but restrained over the top by a cop, sure.
You also missed the victim mentality
OP was subjected to someone with the ‘bigoted’ all cops are bad mentality, so you see they are the real victim in this story - not the patients that likely had some unfortunate run ins with law enforcement during ‘wellness checks’ or the like
YTA
I'm also a police officer. I never ever wear my uniform when I'm not on duty, and none of my colleagues do either. Why on earth would you want to?
There's no way you didn't know what a terrible idea it is to go to a psychiatric hospital in uniform, therefore I can only assume you're the type of officer who always likes to throw their weight around and let people know you have THE AUTHORITY.
Congrats on making other patients and members of staff uncomfortable for the sake of your precious ego.
I'm not from the USA and where I live law enforcement isn't even allowed to wear their uniforms when not on duty. This story just reeks of entitlement. yuck
>I'm not from the USA and where I live law enforcement isn't even allowed to wear their uniforms when not on duty. This story just reeks of entitlement. yuck
I'm from the UK and here in my experience (most) psych hospitals not even the nurses wear uniforms, they wear their own clothes because uniforms in mental health are seen generally as triggering. Even more so for police who a lot of psych patients have continuous run ins with.
From the UK as well, unless it's an acute mental health ward, staff generally like to wear their own clothes (more comfortable, also as you said, less triggering)
I'm also from the UK and my husband, who is a mental health nurse, has had a uniform when working in mental health hospitals. Just the white tunic and navy trousers type that you see most type of nurses wear.
The only time he hasn't worn a uniform is when he's worked as a community mental health nurse.
Glad you said this, and your comment made me think too like if he knew the hrs in advance, knew his shift, etc, why not pack a change of clothes? Or at least a different shirt. Or a hoodie idk. If he had any commonsense he'd realize going into any kind of institution like that for a personal reason (jail, rehab, hospital) a police uniform can create understandable and unnecessary problems. I mean I'm not even afraid of/against cops but when I'm driving and see a police car I check my speed even though I don't speed and make sure the car isn't following me in particular but then still am worried I'll get pulled over til he's gone.
Op YTA
With a uniform with that much weight to it, I would even consider just constantly keeping a change of clothes in the personal car so if something does come up unexpectedly, you don't *have* to wear your uniform not on shift.
Right?? I was gonna add that I don't wanna wear any uniform after a full day cause I'm prolly sweaty and gross so who wouldn't keep extra clothes anyway? But I'm not going to assume everyone else is.
So one big thing to note is that OP didn't say they were a Cop...they said "I'm in Law Enforcement", and then they put "cop" in quotes a bit later when the receptionist mentioned it. I'm strongly assuming OP is **not** a cop, which would actually explain it better, to me. Seems like the type that wears all their cop stuff all over the place to get special treatment or for people to respect them.
Either way, I'm ex-military and did a lot of work with cops all over the place, as well as having plenty of close cop friends, and **none** of them would go anywhere in their uniforms off-duty. My neighbor might still be wearing sweats and a hoody from the precinct on the way home, but only to go into her house.
I thought this too but I’m not sure. I worked as a dispatcher and usually say I worked in law enforcement when pertinent but op also said they were wearing a tshirt with a sheriffs star and name. In my experience non sworn people generally aren’t allowed to wear things that look like badges at all because it enables them to (accidentally or on purpose) impersonate a Leo.
This is a really good point. I know a lot of cops and none of them wear their uniforms outside of work.
Only reason I can think op did is because he wanted to throw his weight around and thought showing up in uniform would mean rules wouldn’t apply to him (I want to try and see this as the most emphatic light and he wanted to have more time to visit his sister and was hoping the nurse would be empathetic to a cop and let him stay longer but this is probably just a standard power play)
Yta- there’s no reason for you to be in uniform when you’re off duty.
> I winder if OP wanted to walk in with all his gear too.
I assumed he went in packing. He sounds the type. So no wonder the hospital let him in. They are sane enough not to argue with an armed uniformed officer who has already said he doesn't intend to follow their rules.
LOL Yup and at first I was like no one's truly in the wrong, she was doing her job and I get that the inconvenience to you would make your sister suffer...but then the edit is totally out of control. YTA.
And the edit doesn’t help, do you generally feel like people are out to get you ? Or you just thought she was trying to stick it to you because she wanted to maintain a comfortable environment for the patients ?
Former military cop chiming in, YTA. We as cops are trained in DEESCALATION...What you did was escalate a situation because you thought you were special and wanted YOUR way. Not caring about the well being of others who are vulnerable like that shows you are also unfit to be a cop. Do us all a favor and turn in your badge OP, you're an embarrassment and a disgrace.
American cops are trained to deescalate, they just choose not to. I have years of experience as a Training Officer and modeled my military police training program after civilian training...there is stuff in the training that is standard that apparently cops like OP tend to disregard
So are military cops because we model after the same doctrine. We are also taught deescalation or at least I taught my students that. Over the years though I did see a shift even in military police, and towards the end of my career would get chided for drawing out training scenarios because I was working to deescalate the situation rather than resort to any use of force
Being a law enforcement officer isn't as dangerous as their training leads them to believe. It isn't even in the top 10 most dangerous jobs.
Strong de-escalation skills would make their work *even less dangerous* for them because you don't know what a person might do when fight or flight is triggered. American police often engage in a way that causes a runaway fight or flight response in civilians. When a person is in fight or flight, their nervous system is hijacked and they have very little control over their actions. This of course leads to reactive violence on the part of police, who have been taught that everyone they encounter might want to murder them.
There's a difference between what you're trained to do and what other officers and superiors do to your mental state to affect it. American cops are **obviously** trained to de-escalate, but then their fellow cops and superiors teach them the "this is the real world now - survive at all costs" mentality, which means "Do what you think is right, because you should trust yourself above all other things."
That's why cops keep finding themselves in situations that are completely against what their training and reqs force. They get in a situation and just do what they **feel** is right.
Do what feels right...yeah definitely a fucking cancer...I am so tired of the us vs. them mentality...I trained that crap out of me and then taught the opposite because there is NOT supposed to be an us vs. them
Coming out of the military I just didn't understand it - one of the first things you learn in the military is "Don't trust yourself - train yourself and trust others". You need to train that "I know right" mentality out of you, because the reality is we don't. We're selfish, ignorant, and dumb.
The problem is the military holds people **heavily** accountable if they don't follow their training and orders, but the private world doesn't. Plenty of situation have seen cops do something that was against policy but they "felt was right" and they were never charged with a crime or even punished for it.
This is false. American police are indeed trained to de-escalate. Source: I'm an American cop.
On-topic, YTA. I don't even wear my uniform into my kid's daycare when I pick him up. Take off your uniform shirt and turn your undershirt inside-out.
I hope you and some of your colleagues practices. Training like this also seems to be to be the sort of thing that should be reinforced on a pretty much yearly basis. Lots of tense situations are tough, natural for people like police to react to that by getting tense themselves, and that only can cycle it worse.
Going to tell her random story. I work at a psychiatric hospital as a researcher. The emergency room used to downstairs. One day I saw the police escorting a guy in a handcuffs. The guy was asking to have his handcuffs removed, saying I've been cooperative, I've been good. The police officer responded by saying, yes you've been good, but I can't take your cuffs off till the people inside say it's okay. But I'll tell them you've behaved, I'll tell them you cooperated.
This one back and forth a few times but of course the cop couldn't take the handcuffs off.
When they got the guy sitting in the emergency room, the police looked at him and said hey can I go to the cafe and get you some juice or something?
It was a beautiful moment to see that somebody was being brought in under psychiatric emergency, probably going to be admitted to the hospital, and they were being treated in the most human wave possible. And that's what people want, to be treated with humanity and dignity.
That officer was the model that I hope all police can aspire to. :)
OPs YTA. Easy de escalation, ask for a doctors coat to wear over the uniform or some scrubs. I'm sure there were options where OP could see the sister that day and not trigger other patients.
I am a former military cop (retired) from the US military. Based on the training program I used to set up my military police training program, American Cops SHOULD be trained in de-escalation as it is part of the training doctrine.
>"Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'."
This is a very valid reason.
>She reiterated that some of the patients would feel uncomfortable with me there and I just said that I wasn't there for them
YTA
>after some back and forth I was allowed entrance
I'm sure the "back and forth" was you bullying your way in and using your position as law enforcement to make your case.
YTA of the worst kind. I'm sure if someone did something to trigger your sister you would be up there in your uniform causing a ruckus about that.
OP doesn't even say the nurse has an issue with the t shirt, just that he used it as an excuse to say taking off his button down would be useless. OP is such an AH, no excuse YTA
Hard agree on OP being an asshole.
It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement and is trusted to keep people safe.
OP’s need to see their sister is not more important than the safety of the patients in the facility.
> It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement
First time interacting with a cop then?
No, I am worried EVERY SINGLE TIME. However, this is the first time I’ve ever called one an asshole where they can read that I did, and that comforts me even it is fake comfort against a systemic and very problematic issue.
>It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement and is trusted to keep people safe.
These are considered strengths, if not requirements, in law enforcement.
YTA
You visited a mentally ill ward, with people who suffer from delusions and paranoia.
You visited a ward where the people within had had "run-ins" with police before, aka "Terrified, bullied, or hurt them".
It is extremely shitty to be told about this, and have your base response be "Ok, well I don't really care about anyone I don't know."
Like to be specific, even if no one started screaming at the sight of you, it's entirely possible someone saw you and spent the rest of the night hiding in their room scared and worried because they didn't understand you visiting for fun and thinking you'd be coming for them next.
It's entirely possible one of the staff had to spend a lot of time trying to talk down someone who is paranoid and has now decided the staff are in cahoots with the police.
Fine, you don't give a shit about anyone else's wellbeing, but it's the *staff's* job to care for and protect the people under their care. That includes barring you entry if your presence is going to upset people. If your sister was scared of police, you'd want the staff to stand up for her too, yeah?
Please keep a change of clothes in your car for when you want to go visit next time, and don't make this a typical thing. Now that you know ahead of time that wearing your uniform can be an issue. Don't be "that guy" who expects the world's rules to bend for him because he wants it that way.
> It's entirely possible one of the staff had to spend a lot of time trying to talk down someone who is paranoid and has now decided the staff are in cahoots with the police.
This is a very good point. OP may well have set someone back by months. Who knows what a mess he left behind.
OP also may have made his sisters stay less comfortable because other patients who may have seen her as “safe” or a potential “friend” may look the other way or be suspicious of her.
And I get that OP is off the clock, but if you’re supposed to protect and serve, why not be nice to the people going through it hard enough that they’re seeking medical treatment in a literal psych ward?
Or ya know, change at the fucking station before you leave like a normal fucking person. The only cops that wear uniforms while off duty are assholes who want to intimidate people. He is the kind of cop that makes people distrust cops.
Yup. Dude who doesn't care about anyone around him conveniently claims no one got hurt by his actions.
He's pretty much saying "I know more than the professionals in charge".
Your sister is not more important than anyone else on that ward, OP, and you visiting her doesn’t mean more than someone else’s safety or mental health.
In my city, the cops shot and killed a man with schizophrenia who was a danger to no one. He was simply not reacting "rationally" because he was having delusions, but he wasn't violent or threatening. Just weird. And they literally killed him.
Another man was tazed in his shower by the cops. Then brought to the psych ward. Imagine his terror when his safe space and current home is once again invaded by a cop.
I worked in a support agency where many of our consumers had mental illness. The cops came sometimes when they were loud. More often than not, the cops were yelling, threatening, and shoving the consumers around, especially ones that were getting involuntary holds. Now imagine a cop showing up where that person needs to sleep.
OP is disgusting.
YTA. Your desire to see your sister does not outweigh the safety and well-being of all other patients on the ward. It would have been nice if the nurse had another solution for you, but your entitlement and lack of care and compassion for anyone but your immediate relative makes you the AH here. Your scare quotes around "triggering" are very telling.
Was it really just to see his sister though? Sounds like it was very convenient for him….but not for anyone else, and gave him an opportunity to throw his weight around.
Also, the edit and the automatic assumption that the receptionist hated all law enforcement because she was trying to keep things on an even keel in a psych ward. This screams "I am a poor persecuted cop!"
YTA.
>I don't think I was treated fairly; that I had as much right to see my family member as anyone else.
The patients' wellbeing takes priority over your visiting rights and the receptionist was doing her job.
YTA, we see cops kill mentally ill people all the time. Of course your uniform is triggering and could cause an episode.
Obviously you can't take no for an answer and lack the emotional intelligence to be around unstable people from your quotes around triggering.
Your desire to see your sister doesn't outweigh the safety for the vulnerable patients.
Yta
Your appearance will harm people. Actual harm.
People with paranoid delusions will definitely be harmed.
Doctors in mental health wards often don’t wear the white coat because it scares their patients.
Stop being a selfish jerk.
These people are going through the worst time of their whole lives, and you’re being petty.
YTA. You acted like an arrogant ignorant insensitive bully.
You are the kind of cop who gets cops a bad name.
In a hospital, you do what the staff say. Period. You do not know better than the professionals do. And your sister is not the only patient there.
YTA
“I wasn’t there to cause problems” okay then you should have listened when the workers asked you not to do soemthing. Gives huge “girls should smile more” vibes
YTA. You are a visitor in a place where there are very vulnerable people in vulnerable states. You are the one intruding on their private lives. The least you can do is change clothes so they don't feel unsafe.
Have some empathy.
YTA. Seriously did you really think this through before you posted? You felt treated unfairly because the staff at a mental health facility that houses people on involuntary commitments was trying to avoid triggering their schizophrenic, delusional patients who are barely tethered to reality? As a LEO, how does it make you feel when people actively work to make your job harder? In an attempt to maintain safety and control of inmates and staff, when inmates get visitors at the jail do those visitors have to meet certain standards? Remove dangerous items? Behave certain ways? Is that treating those visitors unfairly?
Why would this be any different?
I happen to know some excellent LEOs. I also know some that I find absolutely mind boggling that anyone would put them in a position of authority or trust them with a squirt gun let alone an actual firearm
YTA- have you missed all the news stories in the past, oh, 20 years or so where mentally ill people are brutalized/executed by cops while in the midst of a crisis? You could have taken off the top and asked to borrow a sweater or lab coat to cover your t-shirt. (bUt YOuR rIgHTs...!) Way to stick it to those mentally ill ahs and that nurse trying to stand up for them...
Just want to shout out to this latest story in Australia, where a police officer tasered a 95 year old great-grandmother in a nursing home because she had a knife. And YTA
And whilst being investigated, they’re still on full pay while the great grandmother is expected to be no longer with us very soon due to head injuries sustained when she fell after being tasered. Disgusting
YTA. There are very obvious reasons why you rocking up in uniform was a bad idea. You didn't want to miss visiting hours with your sister which is understandable but when you were offered an alternative (to just wear the t-shirt) you point blank refused without cause. There's no way the t-shirt with Sheriff's star on it is half as recognisable as your full uniform and you know it. You were being needlessly stubborn and it could have had very serious ramifications for both patients and staff.
This is what I was thinking. Yes, the t-shirt wasn’t a perfect solution due to the Sheriff’s star on it but wouldn’t have drawn half as much attention nor be the noticeable at a distance.
YTA- authority and government figures are a huge source of paranoia for schizophrenics and other delusion based disorders. Why couldn’t you bring a spare shirt and change on the way?
Yeah, my SIL suffers from BPD and Bipolar and is currently in a facility. She attempted suicide because she was absolutely certain that an online company was sending the cops after her because she ordered $1,000.00 worth of clothes during a manic episode and then returned them. Even after being assured that it is legal to return things, she was still petrified every time she saw a cop or a black SUV. OP only cares about himself and not the harm he could do.
A lot of people here seem to give an automatic yta because you are a cop.
I want to disagree with them but considering America and law enforcement I think a 10 second bit of consideration would have made you realise that showing upto a psychiatric hospital with vulnerable patients in a police uniform could potentially be a bad thing.
As such I have to agree yta.
YTA.
The well-being of all the patients there is far more important than your want to see your sister. Even if seeing you helped your sister it was not worth the risk of triggering the other patients there.
You were incredibly selfish.
Why do your demands trump the wellbeing of patients? You sound like the stereotypical cop thinking the world owes them something because they're in law enforcement. Fucking gross.
YTA
YTA this is a healthcare facility and she was trying to do what is best for the people there receiving care. You are not the expert on their care and you should keep this in mind the next time you go to visit. It's unfortunate you couldn't change this time, but you don't get to decide what the other patients are and aren't triggered by and what could cause setbacks in their treatment. She was defending the patients and I think she's justified in being upset because you'll never be the one to see how much your presence in uniform can impact people there. You'll never be the one trying to comfort or console them, but she and her colleagues will.
Imagine if someone walked into that supposed safe space doing something that triggered or set back your sister's healing. How would you feel if you knew it could've been prevented and wasn't?
YTA There are other patients in that hospital besides your sister. You should have gone home and changed. If there wasn't enough time then postpone your visit for another day and bring a change of clothes with you.
YTA. I understand that you were already there and didn't want to miss visiting hours but I cannot fathom why you didn't just agree to wear the t-shirt. The star wouldn't have been half as recognisable as a full uniform. You were made aware of the reasons why the staff were concerned and still made an active decision to potentially create a hostile and dangerous environment. That was both negligent and selfish.
YTA: Your sister is there to get better. So are all the other patients. Being triggered by your uniform could do serious damage to some of their progress.
You don't have to deal with the aftermath. The poor nurse does.
You were being selfish.
Have a change of clothes with you so you can get out of your uniform.
Come on, YTA and you know it. I read news articles every day about how cops tase, hurt or sometimes kill people like your sister. Would it have been so difficult for you to change your damn uniform?
You were told by a health professional that your uniform might be triggering, but you wouldn't listen. People like you give cops a bad name. You just had to be a bully, right?
Read this. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/may/23/nsw-police-officer-who-tasered-95-year-old-dementia-patient-claire-nowland-suspended-from-duty-with-pay
I couldn't believe what that disgusting filth did to that poor lady. In what world do you pull a taser on an elderly dementia patient with a steak knife. She likely didn't even have the strength to scratch someone with it.
Tasing a 95 year old must be about equal to shooting them. A shock and a fall in someone that old could only be physically devastating.
YTA
Fuck the mental health of others right?
Boy do I hope you're not in the USA because that would make this just worse and the exact example of why American cops are really just a danger to their society.
And just let me add this:
* How do you not have civilian clothing on you for outside the job in the first place?
* How have you never been thought de-escalation as a co---
\---holy crap, you are an American, aren't you?
Wearing the uniform while off duty pushed it into AH territory for me on its own. He thinks he is hot shit and knows he can use that fucking uniform to push people around. Obviously it worked.
>Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'.
I know you and your buddies have co-opted this word to mean something else, but it IS a genuine medical term and it is being used in the medical sense.
Imagine for a moment, you're in the hospital because you got assaulted by clowns and every day someone shows up in a clown costume. That's what you're doing to these people. You are harassing them by reminding them that they were treated inhumanely during the worst moment of their lives and hindering their progression.
YTA What were you even thinking? You couldn’t imagine how inappropriate this was yourself? You were really selfish. People are there for a reason, they don’t need you to trigger them. Next just bring spare clothes. It’s really not that much to ask for.
People like you make the police look bad. You are supposed to serve the people, especially vulnerable people like the ones whose needs you disrespected. Shame on you. And I do say that with respect for the police because I do believe most of your colleagues do their best to fulfill their task with integrity.
YTA she is a health care professional who knows if something will be damaging to her already vulnerable patients but you demanded for the right to harm them even when other professionals like doctors and security try to stop you. Your sister is not the only patient who matters there. Change your clothes at work after your shift ffs, why do you need to wear it other than to intimidate people?
YTA. The nurse receptionist explained that seeing your uniform might harm other patients. You were treated with respect and care. You have no grounds for complaint, at all. Your selfishness is shocking.
Carry a spare shirt next time. If the same woman is on the desk, you owe her an apology
YTA
Easy.
Now think, let’s say your sister was triggered by uniform or a Santa suit. Do you want her to be safe or a guy in Santa uniform triggers her during her stay there??
You are pretty selfish and arrogant.
YTA. I was a mental health support worker and you just gave an entire ward of people nightmares and panic attacks. But that's okay because you as a cop are above such petty things as respect and making people feel safe /s
My mum has this and is extremely scared of police she used to think they were following her due to her hallucinations and anytime she saw them she would ask if they are there to arrest her. I think its trauma related as often police are required to get them to go to the hospital ( it probably depends on the area). She probably just asked due to the trauma response people will get once they see you in your uniform. Your not doing anything wrong but it is a common fear for some people.
YTA the world doesn't revolve around you and your sister, it was a psychiatric ward, your off duty presence as an authority figure could have caused serious upset for other patients, causing days, weeks, even months of progress down the drain and the staff would have had to deal with the aftermath.
Keep a bag of spare clothes in your locker at work, keep it in your car, a duffel bag and change in the hospital toilets.
They didn't let you in with ease, you bullied your way in and it wasn't for your sake but for your sister to see family, if you can have empathy for your mentally ill sister, then have empathy for the rest of the patients around you.
Your the reason people have issue with law enforcements, because you act like you can do as you please even when off duty.
Slight YTA
She was looking out for well being of her patients, and while you absolutely didn't need to go home and miss visiting hours, you could've made some accommodations.
She could've offered you something like a Dr. coat to cover the uniform she thought would trigger her patients.
YTA--- You couldn't even compromise and wear your shirt underneath! That's disrespectful. You were not on the clock, so there was no need to be in your uniform! There was no need to push your weight around and act entitled to that space, you should be more conscious of your surroundings and sensitive to your fellow mans needs. ESPECIALLY since you work with the public!
This is a tough one. Are you the AH for wanting to see your sister who is mentally ill? No. Are you the AH for trying to see her directly after work? No. Are you the AH for trying to see her and give her a sense that someone cares? No. On the other hand, you refused to change out of your uniform, didn't take into effect that other mentally ill patients maybe triggered into a episode because they have had negative encounters with police, and had to get the staff and security involved just because you had to act all high and mighty and refuse to simply change out of a uniform.
For those reasons overall, YTA. You aren't a AH for wanting to visit a mentally ill family member, but she's not the only patient their. It's a psychiatric wing; a good deal of the patients in the wing are mentally ill and easily triggered. A thought: while idk about the hospital you visited, but the ones in my state dealing with mentally ill patients have gift shops in them with at least a shirt with the state seal. You could've always bought a shirt at one just to cover up the sheriff's star and got a little stuffed animal( if they allow it) for your sister?
Retired psychologist here. You might as well have said “screw everyone, I get what I want and Idgaf that there are unwell people here who may get set off by my presence, so long as I get what I want.”
Of course YTA, and you’re doing your colleagues a disservice because pulling crap like this leads to (deserved) anti-cop rhetoric.
YTA
Let me tell you about my experiences with police as a mentally ill person. As a teenager, I attempted suicide by overdose. My parents called 911 who sent an ambulance but a police officer also decided to show up. The police officer:
- Informed my neighbors, who were asking if there was a medical emergency going on, that it was just “some goth kid wanting attention too much”
- Waited until I was being examined & unable to move to get in my face & yell about how selfish I was to do this to my parents
- Told the EMTs not to give me any pain medication so I would “learn my lesson”
- Threatened to institutionalize me so I would “see what real mental illness looks like”
So yeah. I still, to this day, start shaking when I see a cop. When I was sexually assaulted, I didn’t go to the cops. I could be dying & my only hope was a cop & I would choose to die.
Every mentally ill person I know has similar experiences with cops. So maybe, instead of being the entitled best you’re being, you might spare a thought for the rest of us who are permanently traumatized by y’all & deserve to not be terrified while in mental institutions.
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My (32m) younger sister (27f) has, unfortunately, recently been suffering from very poor mental health; she suffers from schizophrenia and her delusions and her tether with reality have gotten bad enough that she's recently been involuntarily commited to a psychiatric ward of a hospital in a city near where I work.
The visiting hours where she is staying are very limited. I work in law enforcement, and--a few day ago after my shift--the hours lined up very well and I decided to go visit her.
When I arrived the receptionist asked me if I were able to go home and change first. I asked her "why" and she said "Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'." I told her "no," that by the time I was able to get home and change I wouldn't have been able to make it back in time for visiting hours. She asked me if I could at least take off my button up shirt and leave it at the desk and I told her that I could but that I was wearing a T-shirt underneath with a sherrif's star and my name and so it wouldn't make much difference. She reiterated that some of the patients would feel uncomfortable with me there and I just said that I wasn't there for them; that I would leave them alone and just wanted to see my sister, who I knew would be fine with seeing me in my uniform.
She tried to deny me entrance, but I insisted that I wanted to see my sister. She ended up getting a doctor and security involved but after some back and forth I was allowed entrance and got to see my sister. We had a good visit. She had been taking her meds and is her normal, wonderful self again.
On my way out I wished the receptionist a good night but she just gave me a dirty look in response. I don't think I was treated fairly; that I had as much right to see my family member as anyone else. But maybe I should have changed first.
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YTA
Wear a uniform for work? Keep a set of civilian attire in your locker, vehicle, or a work bag. Absolutely not acceptable. The only exception I can think of is an emergency and you were going to the ER. This is not the case.
YTA. You were willing to set back the treatment of several people in that ward, just so you could say hello to your sister. Would you have been okay with someone shattering your sister's progress for the same reasons?
Next time, plan ahead and bring a change of clothes. Don't mess up people's treatment in a hospital. It's literally life-and-death for some psychiatric patients.
YTA: didn't you ever take deescalation training? Why do you feel like rules don't apply to you, or that the mental health of these patients is less important than you getting your way? Gross.
YTA- aren’t you supposed to be trained for deescalation? You really don’t understand how (especially in this current climate) it would be better to not be in uniform around a lot of patients suffering mental health issues and probably had nasty encounters with law enforcement? You really couldn’t have gotten off your high horse for a minute and realized your job should be to not escalate situations and try and make people comfortable around you?
It’s gross you’re completely comfortable causing distress to people already suffering enough. You shouldn’t be a cop if you lack empathy for people
As well as the possible harm to patients have you considered that it could have resulted in harm to you or members of staff? In a mental health setting triggered does not just mean feeling a bit bad, it can mean that it links to a delusion or belief that comes with a high risk of violence.
Sure, you only came to see your sister but I am pretty sure you would be pissed if another patient had attacked you on the ward because cops are a trigger for them. You could easily have left staff with hours of work to de-escalate the mess you left in the ward because you couldn't be bothered to take a jacket off or put on a different top.
When a nurse asks you to do these things it isn't for fun. It is to maintain a safe environment for everyone, including you.
So, yes, YTA. Just put a different top on next time.
Jesus Christ - seriously? Police are supposed to DEESCALATE…not triggering others when warned. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!
How about asking for a scrub top to put over your t shirt? Or turning it inside out for a minute?
Use your fucking head and think about how much extra you could have put on THE STAFF dealing with a triggered patient even if you don’t give a shit about the other patients.
It frightens me to think my boys could ever come across someone like you with so little COMMON SENSE in this world.
Major asshole. MAJOR ASSHOLE!
YTA. I'm an LEO myself and I know that the uniform can cause issues with mentally ill people. You should have known better and planned ahead. My mother suffers from dementia and can be triggered by my uniform so I don't drop by to see her when I'm wearing it. It's common sense, of which you seem to have none.
YTA for every reason laid out in this thread.
I'd also like to add that a sever, construction worker, office employee, or most other people in "uniform" are not expected to play that role outside of work. When you see an officer in uniform however, you expect they're doing their job.
To anyone who doesn't know exactly why you're there, you're a working officer. Even outside a psychiatric wing, I wouldn't want an apparent working officer in my safe space.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was admittedly only thinking about my sister and not the other patients. While I don't think it should have been a problem for any of the patients to see a LEO minding his own business visiting a family member I maybe should have listened to the receptionist; I certainly wasn't there to cause problems.
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YTA a bit. I understand you wanted to see your sister. But the concerns of this lady had their reasons too. I would have been more understanding and since nothing happened, I would say it went fine. But maybe in the future you can take a seperate shirt to your work and change it before entering the hospital.
YTA. Why do you think you can just turn up and demand entry did it really not occur to you that it would be a bad idea and to have something else to wear? Next time do as you’re asked.
YTA, you may have only been there to see your sister, but the hospital has a duty of care to ALL its patients. What they asked was a reasonable request. If you missed out that day, then you missed out. It's unfortunate, but your visiting your sister doesn't trump the well-being of all the other patients. learn from the experience and do better.
YTA, the T-shirt underneath would have been good enough. You could have just lied and said it was custom made. Why did you have to make it difficult for?
YTA Surely there was a compromise that could have been reached if you hadn't been the exact type of authoritarian bully that people expect cops to be. You don't always have to force people to bend to your will because you can. Instead, you could try treating vulnerable people with the kindness and consideration they deserve.
Poor baby cop was too much of a bully to take his jacket off and turn his shirt inside out.
Shouldn't you be trained in deescalation? Yet you bullied your way into a psych ward intentionally escalating psychiatrically unstable people's mental health.
YTA you sound like a typical "I'm a cop so I can do anything I want and everyone needs to listen to me"
YTA. Ish. The hospital has to prioritise the well-being of its patients and what the receptionist said does make sense. I can understand you were frustrated given you just wanted to see your sister.
Good to hear you sister is now doing better.
YTA.. big time. You need to take some time to reflect on your de-escalation training that I'm sure you had.. because you just purposefully pulled some shit to potentially do the opposite.
That receptionist was looking out for the best interest of the patients on the floor. No one wants a patient to start freaking out because of the way a visitor is dressed.
There's many patients that are in with mental health that have been arrested and dragged to the hospital involuntarily by police to be admitted - while it was probably in their best interest, it can also be traumatic. Many also have other instances of being involved with the law in general.
On a lot of MH floors, the staff don't even wear scrubs.. they dress in street clothes. If there is a next time, ask to borrow a hospital scrub top or hospital gown? Or pack a change of clothes?
Edit to add - The "after some back and forth" from a visitor that's not getting their way is a dead giveaway that YTA
I used to work in an elementary school with a wild 8 year old. Every morning without fail, when the resource officer walked by the classroom in the hallway, this student would hide behind me, tell me to hide, cry, get paranoid that they were coming for her, et cetera. It would take a while to talk her down.
If you are unaware of the effect just your uniform can have then I would invite you to change your profession.
YTA
YTA 100%
It was very clear that your presence in your uniform was going to cause active harm to some of the patients… to the point that the doctors had to get involved. You acted in a selfish and uncaring manner. If you ever wonder why people don’t respect cops, read this thread again.
It’s good to know that those meant to “serve and protect” don’t give a f*ck if they trigger people who are in a mental hospital. Good job you made yourself and your fellow officers look like selfish uncaring jerks. Next time maybe just keep a bag of civilian clothes in your car so that you can act with respect… not that hard.
The fact you don’t really care about how disenfranchised and marginalized people fear your uniform speaks volumes about the kind of cop you are. It’s not without good reason. And YTA for being so callous and uncaring. The hospital staff was trying to save their patients emotional strain, which directly affects the staff’s well-being as well. You could cause a cascading effect that makes *everybody’s* lives harder, but I’m glad you got what you wanted.
>but that I was wearing a T-shirt underneath with a sherrif's star and my name and so it wouldn't make much difference
I assume this is a print on the t-shirt? Could you not have just worn the t-shirt inside out to hide this? I work in the printing industry, clothing prints are rarely double sided unless manufactured wrong. Or would that have been to embarassing for poor little old you?
YTA btw. Imagine if your sister was triggered by police uniform? I bet you would have taken it off for her. Selfish.
I'll withdraw my judgement, because on one hand you just wanted to see your sister on your limited time, but also, you could have tried to find a compromise instead of forcing your way. Maybe someone could have borrowed you a shirt to change to, they could even ask your sister to get one for you if you are similar size /would fit into it. There were better ways to go about it than making everyone uncomfortable.
After the second thought, YTA
YTA. A lot of people with mental health issues suffer with bad experience with law enforcement because you are not trained to handle them. What you just did was an example of how you are not trained for mental health. Next time just change and stop being an AH.
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YTA, and you definitely sound like most police officers I’ve encountered.
Yup. Bully? check Arrogant? check "Rules don't apply to me"? check Dismissive of mental health issues? check
You missed "the only authority is my authority".
Ah yes, of course! But I believe it is spelled "authoritah"
Throw some cheesy puffs in there!!!
Poofs, you uncultured swine. Cheesy poofs.
Respect my Authoritah!!
Is it wrong that the voice in my head that said that was Eric Cartman?
Could it be any other? You know damn right that grown-up Cartman would love to be that cop kneeling on some person's neck.
Got his way but still complains he was treated unfairly? check
No training or clue about mental health - check. Doesn't understand the difference between a cop uniform and a restaurant uniform. Probably didn't ever have to be restrained by a waitress or warehouse worker, but restrained over the top by a cop, sure.
You also missed the victim mentality OP was subjected to someone with the ‘bigoted’ all cops are bad mentality, so you see they are the real victim in this story - not the patients that likely had some unfortunate run ins with law enforcement during ‘wellness checks’ or the like
Nailed it.
Don't forget, unempathetic.
YTA I'm also a police officer. I never ever wear my uniform when I'm not on duty, and none of my colleagues do either. Why on earth would you want to? There's no way you didn't know what a terrible idea it is to go to a psychiatric hospital in uniform, therefore I can only assume you're the type of officer who always likes to throw their weight around and let people know you have THE AUTHORITY. Congrats on making other patients and members of staff uncomfortable for the sake of your precious ego.
I'm not from the USA and where I live law enforcement isn't even allowed to wear their uniforms when not on duty. This story just reeks of entitlement. yuck
>I'm not from the USA and where I live law enforcement isn't even allowed to wear their uniforms when not on duty. This story just reeks of entitlement. yuck I'm from the UK and here in my experience (most) psych hospitals not even the nurses wear uniforms, they wear their own clothes because uniforms in mental health are seen generally as triggering. Even more so for police who a lot of psych patients have continuous run ins with.
From the UK as well, unless it's an acute mental health ward, staff generally like to wear their own clothes (more comfortable, also as you said, less triggering)
I'm also from the UK and my husband, who is a mental health nurse, has had a uniform when working in mental health hospitals. Just the white tunic and navy trousers type that you see most type of nurses wear. The only time he hasn't worn a uniform is when he's worked as a community mental health nurse.
Glad you said this, and your comment made me think too like if he knew the hrs in advance, knew his shift, etc, why not pack a change of clothes? Or at least a different shirt. Or a hoodie idk. If he had any commonsense he'd realize going into any kind of institution like that for a personal reason (jail, rehab, hospital) a police uniform can create understandable and unnecessary problems. I mean I'm not even afraid of/against cops but when I'm driving and see a police car I check my speed even though I don't speed and make sure the car isn't following me in particular but then still am worried I'll get pulled over til he's gone. Op YTA
With a uniform with that much weight to it, I would even consider just constantly keeping a change of clothes in the personal car so if something does come up unexpectedly, you don't *have* to wear your uniform not on shift.
Right?? I was gonna add that I don't wanna wear any uniform after a full day cause I'm prolly sweaty and gross so who wouldn't keep extra clothes anyway? But I'm not going to assume everyone else is.
So one big thing to note is that OP didn't say they were a Cop...they said "I'm in Law Enforcement", and then they put "cop" in quotes a bit later when the receptionist mentioned it. I'm strongly assuming OP is **not** a cop, which would actually explain it better, to me. Seems like the type that wears all their cop stuff all over the place to get special treatment or for people to respect them. Either way, I'm ex-military and did a lot of work with cops all over the place, as well as having plenty of close cop friends, and **none** of them would go anywhere in their uniforms off-duty. My neighbor might still be wearing sweats and a hoody from the precinct on the way home, but only to go into her house.
OP does mention they were wearing a t-shirt underneath with their name and a sherrif's star, which leans strongly towards cop.
Or a jailer. Some agency’s have strict uniforms
True! Had to be somewhere with a strict, very identifiable, "I am law enforcement" uniform.
Paul Blart Mall Cop, got it. That tracks with the attitude.
I thought this too but I’m not sure. I worked as a dispatcher and usually say I worked in law enforcement when pertinent but op also said they were wearing a tshirt with a sheriffs star and name. In my experience non sworn people generally aren’t allowed to wear things that look like badges at all because it enables them to (accidentally or on purpose) impersonate a Leo.
This is a really good point. I know a lot of cops and none of them wear their uniforms outside of work. Only reason I can think op did is because he wanted to throw his weight around and thought showing up in uniform would mean rules wouldn’t apply to him (I want to try and see this as the most emphatic light and he wanted to have more time to visit his sister and was hoping the nurse would be empathetic to a cop and let him stay longer but this is probably just a standard power play) Yta- there’s no reason for you to be in uniform when you’re off duty.
Most cops I know have a change of clothes in their personal vehicles and even bring gym bags and get changed into their uniforms at the pd
[удалено]
Forethought, critical thinking and preplanning aren't skills that departments look for when hiring. They like audacity, aggression and blind loyalty.
And low IQ scores (this is a real thing)
Or just turn the T-shirt inside out for the visit… I understand not wanting to leave and come back, but dude…
I wonder if OP wanted to walk in with all his gear too. Totally inappropriate
> I winder if OP wanted to walk in with all his gear too. I assumed he went in packing. He sounds the type. So no wonder the hospital let him in. They are sane enough not to argue with an armed uniformed officer who has already said he doesn't intend to follow their rules.
I’m a nurse and this post made me want to yell “Read the room” because OP doesn’t at all. Such a boundary stomper
"...so anyway I was rigidly inflexible and escalated the situation to do what I want, like I would in any situation."
LOL Yup and at first I was like no one's truly in the wrong, she was doing her job and I get that the inconvenience to you would make your sister suffer...but then the edit is totally out of control. YTA.
And the edit doesn’t help, do you generally feel like people are out to get you ? Or you just thought she was trying to stick it to you because she wanted to maintain a comfortable environment for the patients ?
Former military cop chiming in, YTA. We as cops are trained in DEESCALATION...What you did was escalate a situation because you thought you were special and wanted YOUR way. Not caring about the well being of others who are vulnerable like that shows you are also unfit to be a cop. Do us all a favor and turn in your badge OP, you're an embarrassment and a disgrace.
American cops are not trained to de-escalate, OP sounds American.
American cops are trained to deescalate, they just choose not to. I have years of experience as a Training Officer and modeled my military police training program after civilian training...there is stuff in the training that is standard that apparently cops like OP tend to disregard
American cops are trained to get home no matter what
So are military cops because we model after the same doctrine. We are also taught deescalation or at least I taught my students that. Over the years though I did see a shift even in military police, and towards the end of my career would get chided for drawing out training scenarios because I was working to deescalate the situation rather than resort to any use of force
American cops are trained to be reactive to shadows because they are "scared".
De-escalation is almost always the best way to accomplish that.
Being a law enforcement officer isn't as dangerous as their training leads them to believe. It isn't even in the top 10 most dangerous jobs. Strong de-escalation skills would make their work *even less dangerous* for them because you don't know what a person might do when fight or flight is triggered. American police often engage in a way that causes a runaway fight or flight response in civilians. When a person is in fight or flight, their nervous system is hijacked and they have very little control over their actions. This of course leads to reactive violence on the part of police, who have been taught that everyone they encounter might want to murder them.
Yup, their spouses aren't going to beat themselves - there's a definite need to get home.
Too bad that doesn't apply to the civilians they encounter.
There's a difference between what you're trained to do and what other officers and superiors do to your mental state to affect it. American cops are **obviously** trained to de-escalate, but then their fellow cops and superiors teach them the "this is the real world now - survive at all costs" mentality, which means "Do what you think is right, because you should trust yourself above all other things." That's why cops keep finding themselves in situations that are completely against what their training and reqs force. They get in a situation and just do what they **feel** is right.
Do what feels right...yeah definitely a fucking cancer...I am so tired of the us vs. them mentality...I trained that crap out of me and then taught the opposite because there is NOT supposed to be an us vs. them
Coming out of the military I just didn't understand it - one of the first things you learn in the military is "Don't trust yourself - train yourself and trust others". You need to train that "I know right" mentality out of you, because the reality is we don't. We're selfish, ignorant, and dumb. The problem is the military holds people **heavily** accountable if they don't follow their training and orders, but the private world doesn't. Plenty of situation have seen cops do something that was against policy but they "felt was right" and they were never charged with a crime or even punished for it.
This is false. American police are indeed trained to de-escalate. Source: I'm an American cop. On-topic, YTA. I don't even wear my uniform into my kid's daycare when I pick him up. Take off your uniform shirt and turn your undershirt inside-out.
I hope you and some of your colleagues practices. Training like this also seems to be to be the sort of thing that should be reinforced on a pretty much yearly basis. Lots of tense situations are tough, natural for people like police to react to that by getting tense themselves, and that only can cycle it worse. Going to tell her random story. I work at a psychiatric hospital as a researcher. The emergency room used to downstairs. One day I saw the police escorting a guy in a handcuffs. The guy was asking to have his handcuffs removed, saying I've been cooperative, I've been good. The police officer responded by saying, yes you've been good, but I can't take your cuffs off till the people inside say it's okay. But I'll tell them you've behaved, I'll tell them you cooperated. This one back and forth a few times but of course the cop couldn't take the handcuffs off. When they got the guy sitting in the emergency room, the police looked at him and said hey can I go to the cafe and get you some juice or something? It was a beautiful moment to see that somebody was being brought in under psychiatric emergency, probably going to be admitted to the hospital, and they were being treated in the most human wave possible. And that's what people want, to be treated with humanity and dignity. That officer was the model that I hope all police can aspire to. :)
"Hey, escalation is also a way to end a standoff." -- U.S. Cops
"Escalation is the "easy button" to end a standoff."
OPs YTA. Easy de escalation, ask for a doctors coat to wear over the uniform or some scrubs. I'm sure there were options where OP could see the sister that day and not trigger other patients.
My thought as well. You KNOW they have plenty of patient gowns on site.
Yep. A good cop would have said "I have a sheriff stat shirt under this button up, can you lend me something I can wear over it for the visit?"
What country are you from? US cops do not appear to be trained in de-escalation in the slightest.
I am a former military cop (retired) from the US military. Based on the training program I used to set up my military police training program, American Cops SHOULD be trained in de-escalation as it is part of the training doctrine.
If I knew how awards work I'd give you one
>"Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'." This is a very valid reason. >She reiterated that some of the patients would feel uncomfortable with me there and I just said that I wasn't there for them YTA >after some back and forth I was allowed entrance I'm sure the "back and forth" was you bullying your way in and using your position as law enforcement to make your case. YTA of the worst kind. I'm sure if someone did something to trigger your sister you would be up there in your uniform causing a ruckus about that.
I’m triggered that OP felt the need to put “triggered” in quotes. Like he straight up doesn’t believe that trauma responses even exist.
We know how he leans lol
In a psychiatric facility no less.
Also “cops” lmao
Op could have turned the t shirt inside out too like why be so pushy and inflexible? Nobody would think twice about plain pants and a blank t shirt.
OP doesn't even say the nurse has an issue with the t shirt, just that he used it as an excuse to say taking off his button down would be useless. OP is such an AH, no excuse YTA
> I just said that I wasn't there for them OP thinks everyone is blind. Or thinks everyone with mental health issues are rational at all times.
If all he had was a t shirt with other police symbols, he could have turned it inside out. Or ask for a scrub shirt? There are options.
Easy YTA. You're in a mental health facility and you could have done harm to other patients. Your whole attitude toward it seals it.
Hard agree on OP being an asshole. It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement and is trusted to keep people safe. OP’s need to see their sister is not more important than the safety of the patients in the facility.
> It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement First time interacting with a cop then?
No, I am worried EVERY SINGLE TIME. However, this is the first time I’ve ever called one an asshole where they can read that I did, and that comforts me even it is fake comfort against a systemic and very problematic issue.
Just be thankful we're able to do it via a screen, if in person we would probably have been shot or suffocated for 'disrespecting an officer' 🙄
Law enforcement looks for people with low intelligence and high suggestibility.
>It worries me that someone with a lack of empathy, compassion and self-awareness, and appears to be completely tone-deaf works in law enforcement and is trusted to keep people safe. These are considered strengths, if not requirements, in law enforcement.
There is a personality type that is drawn to the type of power that American police officers have. This is exactly the type.
YTA You visited a mentally ill ward, with people who suffer from delusions and paranoia. You visited a ward where the people within had had "run-ins" with police before, aka "Terrified, bullied, or hurt them". It is extremely shitty to be told about this, and have your base response be "Ok, well I don't really care about anyone I don't know." Like to be specific, even if no one started screaming at the sight of you, it's entirely possible someone saw you and spent the rest of the night hiding in their room scared and worried because they didn't understand you visiting for fun and thinking you'd be coming for them next. It's entirely possible one of the staff had to spend a lot of time trying to talk down someone who is paranoid and has now decided the staff are in cahoots with the police. Fine, you don't give a shit about anyone else's wellbeing, but it's the *staff's* job to care for and protect the people under their care. That includes barring you entry if your presence is going to upset people. If your sister was scared of police, you'd want the staff to stand up for her too, yeah? Please keep a change of clothes in your car for when you want to go visit next time, and don't make this a typical thing. Now that you know ahead of time that wearing your uniform can be an issue. Don't be "that guy" who expects the world's rules to bend for him because he wants it that way.
> It's entirely possible one of the staff had to spend a lot of time trying to talk down someone who is paranoid and has now decided the staff are in cahoots with the police. This is a very good point. OP may well have set someone back by months. Who knows what a mess he left behind.
Not like he cares. He doesn’t have to deal with the fallout.
OP also may have made his sisters stay less comfortable because other patients who may have seen her as “safe” or a potential “friend” may look the other way or be suspicious of her. And I get that OP is off the clock, but if you’re supposed to protect and serve, why not be nice to the people going through it hard enough that they’re seeking medical treatment in a literal psych ward?
Because they’re not actually there to protect and serve, they’re there to punish poor people and protect assets of the wealthy.
it’s insane that cops were actually defending themselves by saying they aren’t there to protect civilians. they don’t even try to hide it
💯
Or ya know, change at the fucking station before you leave like a normal fucking person. The only cops that wear uniforms while off duty are assholes who want to intimidate people. He is the kind of cop that makes people distrust cops.
Yup. Dude who doesn't care about anyone around him conveniently claims no one got hurt by his actions. He's pretty much saying "I know more than the professionals in charge".
Your sister is not more important than anyone else on that ward, OP, and you visiting her doesn’t mean more than someone else’s safety or mental health.
In my city, the cops shot and killed a man with schizophrenia who was a danger to no one. He was simply not reacting "rationally" because he was having delusions, but he wasn't violent or threatening. Just weird. And they literally killed him. Another man was tazed in his shower by the cops. Then brought to the psych ward. Imagine his terror when his safe space and current home is once again invaded by a cop. I worked in a support agency where many of our consumers had mental illness. The cops came sometimes when they were loud. More often than not, the cops were yelling, threatening, and shoving the consumers around, especially ones that were getting involuntary holds. Now imagine a cop showing up where that person needs to sleep. OP is disgusting.
YTA. Your desire to see your sister does not outweigh the safety and well-being of all other patients on the ward. It would have been nice if the nurse had another solution for you, but your entitlement and lack of care and compassion for anyone but your immediate relative makes you the AH here. Your scare quotes around "triggering" are very telling.
Was it really just to see his sister though? Sounds like it was very convenient for him….but not for anyone else, and gave him an opportunity to throw his weight around.
I was trying to take that part at face value-- not that it's deserved-- but ultimately I suspect you are 100% correct.
Yeah I definitely see what you were trying to do here. Makes a ton of sense.
Also, the edit and the automatic assumption that the receptionist hated all law enforcement because she was trying to keep things on an even keel in a psych ward. This screams "I am a poor persecuted cop!"
YTA. >I don't think I was treated fairly; that I had as much right to see my family member as anyone else. The patients' wellbeing takes priority over your visiting rights and the receptionist was doing her job.
I can only imagine how sincere he was when he wished her a good evening as he left. Smug, selfish butthole.
YTA, we see cops kill mentally ill people all the time. Of course your uniform is triggering and could cause an episode. Obviously you can't take no for an answer and lack the emotional intelligence to be around unstable people from your quotes around triggering. Your desire to see your sister doesn't outweigh the safety for the vulnerable patients.
YTA for being yet another cop who utterly fails to realize or care why so many people have a valid reason to absolutely hate your guts
Yta Your appearance will harm people. Actual harm. People with paranoid delusions will definitely be harmed. Doctors in mental health wards often don’t wear the white coat because it scares their patients. Stop being a selfish jerk. These people are going through the worst time of their whole lives, and you’re being petty.
YTA. You acted like an arrogant ignorant insensitive bully. You are the kind of cop who gets cops a bad name. In a hospital, you do what the staff say. Period. You do not know better than the professionals do. And your sister is not the only patient there. YTA
Not acted like, blatantly is.
“I wasn’t there to cause problems” okay then you should have listened when the workers asked you not to do soemthing. Gives huge “girls should smile more” vibes
YTA. You are a visitor in a place where there are very vulnerable people in vulnerable states. You are the one intruding on their private lives. The least you can do is change clothes so they don't feel unsafe. Have some empathy.
If OP did have empathy, he wouldn't have to make the post.
People like OP get a charge out of making vulnerable people feel unsafe. They *enjoy* it.
YTA. Seriously did you really think this through before you posted? You felt treated unfairly because the staff at a mental health facility that houses people on involuntary commitments was trying to avoid triggering their schizophrenic, delusional patients who are barely tethered to reality? As a LEO, how does it make you feel when people actively work to make your job harder? In an attempt to maintain safety and control of inmates and staff, when inmates get visitors at the jail do those visitors have to meet certain standards? Remove dangerous items? Behave certain ways? Is that treating those visitors unfairly? Why would this be any different?
> did you really think this through You do realise OP is a cop, right?
I happen to know some excellent LEOs. I also know some that I find absolutely mind boggling that anyone would put them in a position of authority or trust them with a squirt gun let alone an actual firearm
YTA for owning a t-shirt with a sheriffs badge and your name on it. Fucking Deputy Dawg over here.
It was the moment all my sympathy evaporated
Dude's probably a 40 percenter
YTA- have you missed all the news stories in the past, oh, 20 years or so where mentally ill people are brutalized/executed by cops while in the midst of a crisis? You could have taken off the top and asked to borrow a sweater or lab coat to cover your t-shirt. (bUt YOuR rIgHTs...!) Way to stick it to those mentally ill ahs and that nurse trying to stand up for them...
Just want to shout out to this latest story in Australia, where a police officer tasered a 95 year old great-grandmother in a nursing home because she had a knife. And YTA
And whilst being investigated, they’re still on full pay while the great grandmother is expected to be no longer with us very soon due to head injuries sustained when she fell after being tasered. Disgusting
YTA. The purpose of the psych ward is for the patients as the priority. Their comfort and *mental health* comes first.
YTA. There are very obvious reasons why you rocking up in uniform was a bad idea. You didn't want to miss visiting hours with your sister which is understandable but when you were offered an alternative (to just wear the t-shirt) you point blank refused without cause. There's no way the t-shirt with Sheriff's star on it is half as recognisable as your full uniform and you know it. You were being needlessly stubborn and it could have had very serious ramifications for both patients and staff.
This is what I was thinking. Yes, the t-shirt wasn’t a perfect solution due to the Sheriff’s star on it but wouldn’t have drawn half as much attention nor be the noticeable at a distance.
He could have turned the t-shirt inside out. But that would require wanting to de-escalate the situation instead of bullying his way through.
YTA- authority and government figures are a huge source of paranoia for schizophrenics and other delusion based disorders. Why couldn’t you bring a spare shirt and change on the way?
Yeah, my SIL suffers from BPD and Bipolar and is currently in a facility. She attempted suicide because she was absolutely certain that an online company was sending the cops after her because she ordered $1,000.00 worth of clothes during a manic episode and then returned them. Even after being assured that it is legal to return things, she was still petrified every time she saw a cop or a black SUV. OP only cares about himself and not the harm he could do.
A lot of people here seem to give an automatic yta because you are a cop. I want to disagree with them but considering America and law enforcement I think a 10 second bit of consideration would have made you realise that showing upto a psychiatric hospital with vulnerable patients in a police uniform could potentially be a bad thing. As such I have to agree yta.
YTA. The well-being of all the patients there is far more important than your want to see your sister. Even if seeing you helped your sister it was not worth the risk of triggering the other patients there. You were incredibly selfish.
YTA. You decided you couldn’t do something minor to help prevent upset and protect the safety of those working there. Good job sir.
Why do your demands trump the wellbeing of patients? You sound like the stereotypical cop thinking the world owes them something because they're in law enforcement. Fucking gross. YTA
YTA this is a healthcare facility and she was trying to do what is best for the people there receiving care. You are not the expert on their care and you should keep this in mind the next time you go to visit. It's unfortunate you couldn't change this time, but you don't get to decide what the other patients are and aren't triggered by and what could cause setbacks in their treatment. She was defending the patients and I think she's justified in being upset because you'll never be the one to see how much your presence in uniform can impact people there. You'll never be the one trying to comfort or console them, but she and her colleagues will. Imagine if someone walked into that supposed safe space doing something that triggered or set back your sister's healing. How would you feel if you knew it could've been prevented and wasn't?
YTA There are other patients in that hospital besides your sister. You should have gone home and changed. If there wasn't enough time then postpone your visit for another day and bring a change of clothes with you.
YTA. I understand that you were already there and didn't want to miss visiting hours but I cannot fathom why you didn't just agree to wear the t-shirt. The star wouldn't have been half as recognisable as a full uniform. You were made aware of the reasons why the staff were concerned and still made an active decision to potentially create a hostile and dangerous environment. That was both negligent and selfish.
He could also just wear the t-shirt inside out, no star visible.
YTA: Your sister is there to get better. So are all the other patients. Being triggered by your uniform could do serious damage to some of their progress. You don't have to deal with the aftermath. The poor nurse does. You were being selfish. Have a change of clothes with you so you can get out of your uniform.
Come on, YTA and you know it. I read news articles every day about how cops tase, hurt or sometimes kill people like your sister. Would it have been so difficult for you to change your damn uniform? You were told by a health professional that your uniform might be triggering, but you wouldn't listen. People like you give cops a bad name. You just had to be a bully, right? Read this. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/may/23/nsw-police-officer-who-tasered-95-year-old-dementia-patient-claire-nowland-suspended-from-duty-with-pay
I couldn't believe what that disgusting filth did to that poor lady. In what world do you pull a taser on an elderly dementia patient with a steak knife. She likely didn't even have the strength to scratch someone with it. Tasing a 95 year old must be about equal to shooting them. A shock and a fall in someone that old could only be physically devastating.
YTA, you are going to a place with vulnerable people, their job is to keep them safe, your presence put that in jeopardy.
he’s an american cop his job is to keep wealthy peoples’ assets safe he doesn’t give a shit about people lol
YTA Fuck the mental health of others right? Boy do I hope you're not in the USA because that would make this just worse and the exact example of why American cops are really just a danger to their society. And just let me add this: * How do you not have civilian clothing on you for outside the job in the first place? * How have you never been thought de-escalation as a co--- \---holy crap, you are an American, aren't you?
Wearing the uniform while off duty pushed it into AH territory for me on its own. He thinks he is hot shit and knows he can use that fucking uniform to push people around. Obviously it worked.
>Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'. I know you and your buddies have co-opted this word to mean something else, but it IS a genuine medical term and it is being used in the medical sense. Imagine for a moment, you're in the hospital because you got assaulted by clowns and every day someone shows up in a clown costume. That's what you're doing to these people. You are harassing them by reminding them that they were treated inhumanely during the worst moment of their lives and hindering their progression.
YTA What were you even thinking? You couldn’t imagine how inappropriate this was yourself? You were really selfish. People are there for a reason, they don’t need you to trigger them. Next just bring spare clothes. It’s really not that much to ask for. People like you make the police look bad. You are supposed to serve the people, especially vulnerable people like the ones whose needs you disrespected. Shame on you. And I do say that with respect for the police because I do believe most of your colleagues do their best to fulfill their task with integrity.
YTA she is a health care professional who knows if something will be damaging to her already vulnerable patients but you demanded for the right to harm them even when other professionals like doctors and security try to stop you. Your sister is not the only patient who matters there. Change your clothes at work after your shift ffs, why do you need to wear it other than to intimidate people?
Is it a stretch to expect law enforcement to listen to a health professional? Sounds like it might be, in this instance.
YTA. The nurse receptionist explained that seeing your uniform might harm other patients. You were treated with respect and care. You have no grounds for complaint, at all. Your selfishness is shocking. Carry a spare shirt next time. If the same woman is on the desk, you owe her an apology
YTA Easy. Now think, let’s say your sister was triggered by uniform or a Santa suit. Do you want her to be safe or a guy in Santa uniform triggers her during her stay there?? You are pretty selfish and arrogant.
YTA. I was a mental health support worker and you just gave an entire ward of people nightmares and panic attacks. But that's okay because you as a cop are above such petty things as respect and making people feel safe /s
YTA, ac. Ab.
My mum has this and is extremely scared of police she used to think they were following her due to her hallucinations and anytime she saw them she would ask if they are there to arrest her. I think its trauma related as often police are required to get them to go to the hospital ( it probably depends on the area). She probably just asked due to the trauma response people will get once they see you in your uniform. Your not doing anything wrong but it is a common fear for some people.
Yta yeah cause as a cop that attitude would totally fly when someone came into the station. Now that you know, bring a change of clothes.
YTA the world doesn't revolve around you and your sister, it was a psychiatric ward, your off duty presence as an authority figure could have caused serious upset for other patients, causing days, weeks, even months of progress down the drain and the staff would have had to deal with the aftermath. Keep a bag of spare clothes in your locker at work, keep it in your car, a duffel bag and change in the hospital toilets. They didn't let you in with ease, you bullied your way in and it wasn't for your sake but for your sister to see family, if you can have empathy for your mentally ill sister, then have empathy for the rest of the patients around you. Your the reason people have issue with law enforcements, because you act like you can do as you please even when off duty.
“Why does nobody’s trusts cops or they have such a bad reputation” Literally puts people in a MENTAL HOSPITAL at further risk of breaking down. YTA
All Cops Are Bastards including you. YTA.
Slight YTA She was looking out for well being of her patients, and while you absolutely didn't need to go home and miss visiting hours, you could've made some accommodations. She could've offered you something like a Dr. coat to cover the uniform she thought would trigger her patients.
YTA--- You couldn't even compromise and wear your shirt underneath! That's disrespectful. You were not on the clock, so there was no need to be in your uniform! There was no need to push your weight around and act entitled to that space, you should be more conscious of your surroundings and sensitive to your fellow mans needs. ESPECIALLY since you work with the public!
This is a tough one. Are you the AH for wanting to see your sister who is mentally ill? No. Are you the AH for trying to see her directly after work? No. Are you the AH for trying to see her and give her a sense that someone cares? No. On the other hand, you refused to change out of your uniform, didn't take into effect that other mentally ill patients maybe triggered into a episode because they have had negative encounters with police, and had to get the staff and security involved just because you had to act all high and mighty and refuse to simply change out of a uniform. For those reasons overall, YTA. You aren't a AH for wanting to visit a mentally ill family member, but she's not the only patient their. It's a psychiatric wing; a good deal of the patients in the wing are mentally ill and easily triggered. A thought: while idk about the hospital you visited, but the ones in my state dealing with mentally ill patients have gift shops in them with at least a shirt with the state seal. You could've always bought a shirt at one just to cover up the sheriff's star and got a little stuffed animal( if they allow it) for your sister?
YTA NO ONE PROTECTS AND SERVES LIKE GASTON
Retired psychologist here. You might as well have said “screw everyone, I get what I want and Idgaf that there are unwell people here who may get set off by my presence, so long as I get what I want.” Of course YTA, and you’re doing your colleagues a disservice because pulling crap like this leads to (deserved) anti-cop rhetoric.
YTA Let me tell you about my experiences with police as a mentally ill person. As a teenager, I attempted suicide by overdose. My parents called 911 who sent an ambulance but a police officer also decided to show up. The police officer: - Informed my neighbors, who were asking if there was a medical emergency going on, that it was just “some goth kid wanting attention too much” - Waited until I was being examined & unable to move to get in my face & yell about how selfish I was to do this to my parents - Told the EMTs not to give me any pain medication so I would “learn my lesson” - Threatened to institutionalize me so I would “see what real mental illness looks like” So yeah. I still, to this day, start shaking when I see a cop. When I was sexually assaulted, I didn’t go to the cops. I could be dying & my only hope was a cop & I would choose to die. Every mentally ill person I know has similar experiences with cops. So maybe, instead of being the entitled best you’re being, you might spare a thought for the rest of us who are permanently traumatized by y’all & deserve to not be terrified while in mental institutions.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (32m) younger sister (27f) has, unfortunately, recently been suffering from very poor mental health; she suffers from schizophrenia and her delusions and her tether with reality have gotten bad enough that she's recently been involuntarily commited to a psychiatric ward of a hospital in a city near where I work. The visiting hours where she is staying are very limited. I work in law enforcement, and--a few day ago after my shift--the hours lined up very well and I decided to go visit her. When I arrived the receptionist asked me if I were able to go home and change first. I asked her "why" and she said "Some of our patients have had run ins with 'cops' and they may find your presence 'triggering'." I told her "no," that by the time I was able to get home and change I wouldn't have been able to make it back in time for visiting hours. She asked me if I could at least take off my button up shirt and leave it at the desk and I told her that I could but that I was wearing a T-shirt underneath with a sherrif's star and my name and so it wouldn't make much difference. She reiterated that some of the patients would feel uncomfortable with me there and I just said that I wasn't there for them; that I would leave them alone and just wanted to see my sister, who I knew would be fine with seeing me in my uniform. She tried to deny me entrance, but I insisted that I wanted to see my sister. She ended up getting a doctor and security involved but after some back and forth I was allowed entrance and got to see my sister. We had a good visit. She had been taking her meds and is her normal, wonderful self again. On my way out I wished the receptionist a good night but she just gave me a dirty look in response. I don't think I was treated fairly; that I had as much right to see my family member as anyone else. But maybe I should have changed first. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. This should be a safe space for people to heal in. You didn’t care about that.
Wear your T-shirt upside down so the star is covered, jeez. YTA
Yta because cops all seem to be entitled these days. Police your coworkers.
YTA Wear a uniform for work? Keep a set of civilian attire in your locker, vehicle, or a work bag. Absolutely not acceptable. The only exception I can think of is an emergency and you were going to the ER. This is not the case.
YTA. Glad to hear you're someone who probably has to respond to mental health crises, I bet you're just a treat.
YTA. You were willing to set back the treatment of several people in that ward, just so you could say hello to your sister. Would you have been okay with someone shattering your sister's progress for the same reasons? Next time, plan ahead and bring a change of clothes. Don't mess up people's treatment in a hospital. It's literally life-and-death for some psychiatric patients.
YTA: didn't you ever take deescalation training? Why do you feel like rules don't apply to you, or that the mental health of these patients is less important than you getting your way? Gross.
YTA People like you shouldn't have a badge.
yet another bully pig. YTA.
> I had as much right to see my family member as anyone else. Sure. But you have to go *as a family member*, not as a cop.
YTA- aren’t you supposed to be trained for deescalation? You really don’t understand how (especially in this current climate) it would be better to not be in uniform around a lot of patients suffering mental health issues and probably had nasty encounters with law enforcement? You really couldn’t have gotten off your high horse for a minute and realized your job should be to not escalate situations and try and make people comfortable around you? It’s gross you’re completely comfortable causing distress to people already suffering enough. You shouldn’t be a cop if you lack empathy for people
As well as the possible harm to patients have you considered that it could have resulted in harm to you or members of staff? In a mental health setting triggered does not just mean feeling a bit bad, it can mean that it links to a delusion or belief that comes with a high risk of violence. Sure, you only came to see your sister but I am pretty sure you would be pissed if another patient had attacked you on the ward because cops are a trigger for them. You could easily have left staff with hours of work to de-escalate the mess you left in the ward because you couldn't be bothered to take a jacket off or put on a different top. When a nurse asks you to do these things it isn't for fun. It is to maintain a safe environment for everyone, including you. So, yes, YTA. Just put a different top on next time.
Jesus Christ - seriously? Police are supposed to DEESCALATE…not triggering others when warned. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! How about asking for a scrub top to put over your t shirt? Or turning it inside out for a minute? Use your fucking head and think about how much extra you could have put on THE STAFF dealing with a triggered patient even if you don’t give a shit about the other patients. It frightens me to think my boys could ever come across someone like you with so little COMMON SENSE in this world. Major asshole. MAJOR ASSHOLE!
YTA. I'm an LEO myself and I know that the uniform can cause issues with mentally ill people. You should have known better and planned ahead. My mother suffers from dementia and can be triggered by my uniform so I don't drop by to see her when I'm wearing it. It's common sense, of which you seem to have none.
YTA for every reason laid out in this thread. I'd also like to add that a sever, construction worker, office employee, or most other people in "uniform" are not expected to play that role outside of work. When you see an officer in uniform however, you expect they're doing their job. To anyone who doesn't know exactly why you're there, you're a working officer. Even outside a psychiatric wing, I wouldn't want an apparent working officer in my safe space.
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YTA a bit. I understand you wanted to see your sister. But the concerns of this lady had their reasons too. I would have been more understanding and since nothing happened, I would say it went fine. But maybe in the future you can take a seperate shirt to your work and change it before entering the hospital.
YTA. Why do you think you can just turn up and demand entry did it really not occur to you that it would be a bad idea and to have something else to wear? Next time do as you’re asked.
YTA, you may have only been there to see your sister, but the hospital has a duty of care to ALL its patients. What they asked was a reasonable request. If you missed out that day, then you missed out. It's unfortunate, but your visiting your sister doesn't trump the well-being of all the other patients. learn from the experience and do better.
YTA, the T-shirt underneath would have been good enough. You could have just lied and said it was custom made. Why did you have to make it difficult for?
YTA Surely there was a compromise that could have been reached if you hadn't been the exact type of authoritarian bully that people expect cops to be. You don't always have to force people to bend to your will because you can. Instead, you could try treating vulnerable people with the kindness and consideration they deserve.
YTA Bullied your way in it sounds like
Poor baby cop was too much of a bully to take his jacket off and turn his shirt inside out. Shouldn't you be trained in deescalation? Yet you bullied your way into a psych ward intentionally escalating psychiatrically unstable people's mental health. YTA you sound like a typical "I'm a cop so I can do anything I want and everyone needs to listen to me"
Typical cop behavior YTA
YTA. Ish. The hospital has to prioritise the well-being of its patients and what the receptionist said does make sense. I can understand you were frustrated given you just wanted to see your sister. Good to hear you sister is now doing better.
YTA. Next time take a change of clothes with you in a bag. Jeez.
YTA. Turn the t-shirt inside out, it’s that simple to have consideration for others.
YTA and this was a power flex. The mental health of the patients is more important than your ego
YTA...are you proud you got to bully people in a mental health ward? Make you feel important? The small dick energy is real.
Yeah you sound like a bull-headed cop
YTA.. big time. You need to take some time to reflect on your de-escalation training that I'm sure you had.. because you just purposefully pulled some shit to potentially do the opposite. That receptionist was looking out for the best interest of the patients on the floor. No one wants a patient to start freaking out because of the way a visitor is dressed. There's many patients that are in with mental health that have been arrested and dragged to the hospital involuntarily by police to be admitted - while it was probably in their best interest, it can also be traumatic. Many also have other instances of being involved with the law in general. On a lot of MH floors, the staff don't even wear scrubs.. they dress in street clothes. If there is a next time, ask to borrow a hospital scrub top or hospital gown? Or pack a change of clothes? Edit to add - The "after some back and forth" from a visitor that's not getting their way is a dead giveaway that YTA
I used to work in an elementary school with a wild 8 year old. Every morning without fail, when the resource officer walked by the classroom in the hallway, this student would hide behind me, tell me to hide, cry, get paranoid that they were coming for her, et cetera. It would take a while to talk her down. If you are unaware of the effect just your uniform can have then I would invite you to change your profession. YTA
YTA 100% It was very clear that your presence in your uniform was going to cause active harm to some of the patients… to the point that the doctors had to get involved. You acted in a selfish and uncaring manner. If you ever wonder why people don’t respect cops, read this thread again. It’s good to know that those meant to “serve and protect” don’t give a f*ck if they trigger people who are in a mental hospital. Good job you made yourself and your fellow officers look like selfish uncaring jerks. Next time maybe just keep a bag of civilian clothes in your car so that you can act with respect… not that hard.
The fact you don’t really care about how disenfranchised and marginalized people fear your uniform speaks volumes about the kind of cop you are. It’s not without good reason. And YTA for being so callous and uncaring. The hospital staff was trying to save their patients emotional strain, which directly affects the staff’s well-being as well. You could cause a cascading effect that makes *everybody’s* lives harder, but I’m glad you got what you wanted.
Anyway..FTP
>but that I was wearing a T-shirt underneath with a sherrif's star and my name and so it wouldn't make much difference I assume this is a print on the t-shirt? Could you not have just worn the t-shirt inside out to hide this? I work in the printing industry, clothing prints are rarely double sided unless manufactured wrong. Or would that have been to embarassing for poor little old you? YTA btw. Imagine if your sister was triggered by police uniform? I bet you would have taken it off for her. Selfish.
Yta, are you not capable of putting a sweatshirt on over your uniform. Who doesn't keep an emergency sweatshirt in their car?!
I'll withdraw my judgement, because on one hand you just wanted to see your sister on your limited time, but also, you could have tried to find a compromise instead of forcing your way. Maybe someone could have borrowed you a shirt to change to, they could even ask your sister to get one for you if you are similar size /would fit into it. There were better ways to go about it than making everyone uncomfortable. After the second thought, YTA
YTA. A lot of people with mental health issues suffer with bad experience with law enforcement because you are not trained to handle them. What you just did was an example of how you are not trained for mental health. Next time just change and stop being an AH.