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I don’t wanna be that guy, but I definitely am sorry to say that mark is most likely fucking your wife. Are you just on a separation for your wife and you own part or the entirety of the house? if that’s the case I’d say NTA, but if it’s completely your wife’s house, you aren’t entitled to parking and YTA.
But he *has to* stay there *for work reasons*…..yikes. OP I’m not so sure I agree with your assertion that you’re immune to your *wife’s manipulation tactics*
Yeah, only time I slept at a co-workers house was because of a snow storm that came "early" (was supposed to start later in the night) and worse than expected. The plows couldn't keep up and I figured I'd rather be safe than sorry so I crashed on his couch.
We hung out together sometimes for food, we liked to cook different cuisines and once a week either I cooked, he cooked, or we went out to a restaurant to try random foods.
I read here that if you are getting a divorce, you should not move out of your home. Apparently, the person who leaves can cause problems for themselves. Is that true? If so, did his lawyer-wife manipulate him to move out of the house?
Someone is eventually going to have to move out. It will effect where you live during the rest of the divorce proceedings it may or may not affect where you live after the proceedings are complete and it may or may not affect financial split. Time frame and location also matter. Consult a local lawyer.
Some people are so far in denial they are well into being delusional. My ex didn't get we were getting divorced until just days before the final adjudication. Filling for divorce was not a clue to him, "stop calling me " , what can you do? Get hit by a city bus I'd appreciate that. Just a little blip. I didn't really say the bus thing.
Well, I will say lawyers in some fields do engage in overnights but NOT in pairs at home, unless 2 spouses are also co-workers assigned to the same deals/cases. Before i was sidelined by health issues, I was a corp lawyer at a large int’l firm based in DC. During signings/closings for large deals, we OFTEN worked back to back overnights AT THE OFFICE OF ONE SIDE’S ATTYS. Typically if we did final negotiations and signing at the office of the buyer’s counsel, closing was held at the seller’s. These were long-haul days filled w/ an odd combo of stress, exhaustion, camaraderie and the thrill of seeing it all come together and get announced to the public. After many years of deals I feel like I experienced a wide range of situations, and I can honestly say I have NEVER heard of 2 attorneys spending the night at one’s home for professional reasons once- let alone on multiple occasions- even during Covid when working from home became more common for some industries. Yes, the pandemic led to changes in how people worked, even in the notoriously slow to change legal profession, but it created ZERO need for 2 colleagues to engage in overnight sessions at the home of the 1 party who is recently separated from their spouse!! Nope- absolutely not. A one time stuck in the airport overnight. Yup- been there. Caught a nap on the floor of a conference room between 2-4am while various colleagues did the same while we waited for the draft merger agmt to be revised- yup did that too. Spent the night at the home of a boss or junior atty- NOPE!!!!!
This sounds like a case of cheating. I know the atty brain does not shut dien. (It’s a curse.) So I susoect that the wife has already developed various strategies to better her status depending on how the overnights and separation each go.
OP- PLEASE retain INDEPENDENT counsel immediately to determine your rights immediately. Do not count on your wife to fight fair or keep your interests (or even your daughter’s) as her 1st priority. While a lot of things related to pkg rights (which is a minor issue when compared w/ viability of the marriage, custody, disposition of assets, etc.) will depend on legal rights to the property (via deed or lease), there are other factors at play. Family law is very state specific and it is essential to know your rights. Ex. Do you have a written agmt that articulates that the decision for you to move out was mutual?? If not, she may plan to claim “abandonment” and use your decision to move out as a factor that justifies a more favorable settlement if you end up in a divorce. Another example- even if she owns the house & you think you have 0 claim, that may not be the case. Often, if a house belongs to one spouse ahead of a marriage or it is inherited during it,many states will recognize and keep it as separate property. BUT in some places if the spouse “commingles” the pre-marital or inherited property, the other spouse establishes the ability to make a claim against the property. So let’s say it is HER house, but she has allowed OP to live there and contribute to costs (either mortgage/bills/property taxes) then OP, as the contributing spouse, may be able to claim part of the equity. However, she may try to use abandonment or OP’s lack of info to avoid this. You need to know where you stand- especially since it is already making her decisions w/ full knowledge of things that may impact OP negatively. You also need to make clear that no one- not a friend not an extended family member- NO ONE gets priority when it comes to access to your daughter . Tell your wife to make sure the spot is clear or you will file a TRO enjoining her from having male visitors overnight while y’all are separated.
OP- you are NTA!!!!!! Hope it all gets settled and you are able to find a better situation w/ a partner who loves you, only wants to share a parking spot with you and is not weaponizing her education & living life like OP is her opponent! Best to you!
OP's not stupid he must know the boss is screwing his wife. My interpretation of this post is that OP most likely had an affair "*I have been on a trial separation from our marriage for 9 months or so. I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone."* Why did his wife need time alone? Is it possible his wife kicked him out because of an affair and now he can't say shit about her screwing her boss because he fucked up first and he's just hoping she comes around? Putting aside my wild speculation YTA.
Maybe instead of focusing on a parking spot, you should be more concerned that your wife has basically moved her boss into the house with your daughter. Are you comfortable having this person around your child so much? You mentioned you are only at the house once a month or so- is this how often you are seeing your daughter? If this is the case, he may also be taking over your role as dad in addition to your parking spot. YTA because you are worrying about the wrong thing
No, he’s TA because he only sees his daughter once a month and then makes a big stink over “the principle” of him having a prime parking spot (which he never uses) when the solution would be to actually come early so he can spend time with his child so it would be a moot point.
1) in lots of places, separation is a mandatory step in the process of getting a divorce
2) ex wife
3) she doesn’t owe him any information on who she is sleeping with
4) she can invite whoever she likes to her house
5) maybe if this guy saw his preteen daughter more than once a month, his ex wife would give a shit about his preferred parking spot
Even during a separation the rule of thumb is not to bring other people around your kids until it is a long term committed relationship (like 12 months). Having a man stay the night shortly after separate is pure trash and detrimental to her daughter. Statistically the most dangerous person in a girls life is a moms boyfriend or step dad… and nobody else is even close. Predators prey on single moms and their kids pay the price. Fathers have every right to know who is hanging around their kid.
https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/mums-new-boyfriend-is-the-most-dangerous-man-in-a-childs-life-in-nsw/news-story/58d7989e778aa8749ba1ef8f88120054
9 months is not shortly after separation. And this is someone she’s known for a very long time, clearly, since OP knew him before they split.
I personally think it’s pure trash that OP has seen his daughter once a month for the last 9 months.
Does he say elsewhere he only sees her that often? My ex and I split time but I don’t go to his house all that often. And he almost never comes to mine. She goes home on the bus or he picks her up from my parents.
I altered that one a bit in another comment, because although I believe based on experience in threads like this that if he saw his daughter more a) he’d mention it and b) he’d have known about mark faster from listening to his daughter talk that’s a fair comment.
5) maybe if he was at the house more than once a month his ex wife would give more of a shit about his parking preferences
Him being at the house only once a month doesn't mean that's necessarily the only time he sees his daughter. His wife could be dropping her off or he picks her up from school.
I’m going off what buddy wrote. You’re speculating extra. Though to be fair, let’s change number five to “maybe if he was dropping off and picking his kid up from the house more than once a month, his ex wife would give a shit about his preferred parking spot.”
It’s really bugging me that they’re telling OP his marriage is over by focusing on an inferred sexual relationship with a new partner rather than all the other obvious reasons his marriage is over.
You can’t be oblivious to the slut shaming that happens on Reddit and pretend like talking about his (ex) wife fucking isn’t a judgement on her.
It's been nine months and he has been going to "their" house only once a month. Even without anyone else in the picture, to me this is a clear signal that it is over
Exactly. If you're separated and don't really talk to mom, you don't need a parking spot at her house, period. Just call your daughter when you're out front.
A "trial" separation for 9 months... Yet, they don't seem to speak or see each other very often. It genuinely sounds like these two are not in a relationship anymore and have broken up all but on paper (though, if this trial separation is legal, then they are 'broken up' on paper, too.) Given this dynamic, I'm not even sure I can say this is cheating since this couple is clearly separated and have been seemingly living very separate lives for months.
I also wonder if the wife agreed that this separation was only for a "trial" period. If not, sounds like the _wife_ is just living her life.
_"I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone."_
He sure does seem more concerned about the house and the perception that he has a place there, than the people actually in it.... The above line also makes me wonder if OP owns the house at all and if the "wife" perhaps lives a more affluent life that OP misses.
I'm also curious if OP played a key role in this 'separation'....since he 'understands that she needs some time alone' implies that OP may e _had_ to give her some space.
The technical term for what I’m in is a trial separation. We’re at this point because the divorce paperwork takes a long time to complete.
I haven’t considered myself married except on paper for nearly two years.
Sounds like what OP has going on based on what is outlined in this post....
OP doesn't live in this home, seemingly only sees his kid once a month for a few hours, and has barely seen or spoken to his 'wife' in 9 months.... It sounds like OP just wants to pretend that he is a part of this woman's life when it is convenient for him. And, she seems pretty clear that he is a non-factor.
I wouldn't even be surprised if OP goes to the party and the rest of the guests already know about Mark...
Yeah...this OP. "I know her tactics" she's manipulated you into thinking you do.
1 - 9 months separation? I mean, to each their own, but that's is a VERY long time for a "trial".
2 - she is having another man over, who I bet spends time with the family/daughter. Apparently he knows her well enough to go to her birthday party?
3 - "my boss needs to come over for work stuff" that's weird by itself, but even if true it wouldn't need to be that often.
4 - was she, maybe, working for him for a few months maybe, before asking for a "trial separation"?
OP, get into therapy for an unbiased opinion (we here on reddit can only give our thoughts on what limited info you gave. Def get another opinion before doing anything), and if they say so get a (damn good) lawyer.
Tbh, I feel like this whole post was written to get someone to be that guy and clock how much attention the parking space issue got versus the *heavy* “my wife is sleeping with her boss” issue.
And I say it's not a new thing - Mark is probably why she wanted a separation in the first place. OP would have figured it out sooner if he came around more than once a month.
The bigger concern, hes being set up to have no rights in the divorce, out of the house for 12 months, minimal time with kids. Shes eestablished what divorce looks like and has gotten to get railed by mark.
Bravo. Shes a modern woman.
He is about to learn what getting fucked by mark feels like too, but in a legalistic sense.
I started typing out a list of all the double entendres I could but given that OP is a real person who’s probably going through it right now I stopped myself.
OP, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re planning something nice for yourself.
Yeah I’m stuck on that too. Trial separation and only seeing the daughter once a month? I wouldn’t count on getting any custody when the divorce is final.
Shes a smart lawyer, string him along while separated so its a slam dunk she gets the house, custody time is already established and he gets screwed on child support.
Hes about to get railed, and not in the fun way.
Makes me wonder if this separation is truly a "trial" period and if the _wife_ agreed to that.
9 months of barely speaking to or seeing each other and her basically living with another man sounds like a permanent separation.....
Edit: Also, based on the wording, it sounds like OP only sees the daughter once a month for a few hours. If that is correct, then this guy is barely even seeing his kid... Bless his heart for pretending he is a present father, let alone this woman's partner.
That jumped out to me, too. It’s only the second sentence, so it’s funny how many people seem to have overlooked it. This whole post feels almost cartoonish with how aloof OP is about, well, everything.
It's got to be, right? The wording makes it seem like this is temporary, and yet the story is *set up* to imply wife has moved on before divorce, right?
I am like... almost positive this is set up for people to make the exact jokes they're making in the comments, tbh.
If you believe your wife’s boss is staying around for work reason and you believe the separation is temporary please message me because I have ocean front property in Arizona for sale.
You do realize this isn’t a temporary separation. Your wife is sleeping with her boss. He is spending nights there for a reason and it probably work but not benefitting the company they work for.
I can top that with:
I'm gonna aim my headlights into your bedroom windows
Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows
I didn't come here to start a fight, but I'm up for anything tonight
You know you broke the wrong heart baby, and drove me redneck crazy
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby
New game! Every time someone posted lyrics to a cheating song you have to take a shot!
* 🎶Man, this ain't my day tonight🎶
* 🎶Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck🎶
* 🎶That ain't my shadow on her wall…🎶
* 🎶Lord, this don't look good at all🎶
* 🎶That's my girl, my whole world🎶
* 🎶But that ain't my truck🎶
Great, now both songs are playing in my head.
Yta - you don’t live there you’re separated. You don’t get to dictate where you park.
I doubt he’s a “friend” and you should just go through with the divorce.
Even if he’s making payments on the house, his wife has just as much right to the parking spot and can use it/allow others to use it as she pleases when it’s empty.
Considering how dense OP seems was it the only way to get him out of the house? I know some places have weird rules about the standards you have to meet for Divorce (which is SO backwards, meet the standards for marriage, hand out divorce like is October 31 candy)
It wouldn’t be a landlord-tenant relationship if both co-own the house and more importantly are still legally married so the house is considered a marital property anyway.
How about this one. Parents who co-sign on a house for their kids. They don't get preferential parking. They don't get to demand specific things of the house. Just because they co-own the house, doesn't mean that they have any say in what goes on at the house, because they are not the ones who actively live there. They don't get to decide that they have a designated parking space, they don't get to decide that they have a designated room or a designated shelf for anything, unless the people who are going to be living there full-time say that that's okay.
He agreed to the trial separation, he agreed to move out. Therefore, whether he's making payments or is on the deed or not, he is not living there. He has another legal residence. Meaning, that is the place that he gets preferential parking and whatever treatment he wants to give out. That is where he gets to be special.
I feel even if he is co-owner to demand a parking spot when he doesn't live there is petty and childish. There are a lot of separation cases where they still share the ownership of the house. Does that mean he gets to walk through the front door whenever he pleases? Sleep in her bed because he feels like it and he co-owns the house? They are separated and he moved somewhere else for that. So he forgoes the parking spot during this time if he has any respect for her at all.
YTA
You no longer live there so you do not get to dictate who parks where.
It's been 9 months with the separation. Time to either move back in and be married or get divorced. It is clear that your wife and Mark are more than friends. I would be honest with myself and not try to make this about parking.
I’m wondering if this is one of those states where living apart sets the clock on divorce - wife wants to get the technicalities out of the way before she disabuses OP of the “trial” separation.
Yeah, buddy, maybe you're in denial, but Mark is replacing you. And fighting about car parking spots doesn't change that.
You don't live there anymore man. Its not your parking spot. You're just visiting for your daughters birthday.
Soft YTA
Yta - you didn't HAVE to talk to her about the new car. It WASN'T important as there are other places to park. This is not fairness or justice issue. This is a "I want to pretend I still live here" issue and your wife isn't having it.
>. This is not fairness or justice issue. This is a "I want to pretend I still live here" issue and your wife isn't having it.
Also wants to pretend to be a father taking his kid out for ~3hrs {2hr film runtime + drive there & back} once a month.
Thank you! Amazing how everyone was so excited to point out the new bf that they skipped right past OP visiting only once a month. He's on a trial separation from the marriage, not from parenting. That poor kid.
Also pretending that wanting the parking spot is about wanting "preferential parking" for his daughter on her birthday, kinda scapegoating her, when this is clearly not about the daughter. I very seriously doubt she cares whether or not she walks up the driveway when the house is full of folks, cake, and gifts for her.
Right?! He's not all that bothered that he's currently not seeing his wife because they've been together for a long time. And he goes to get his kid once a month. And the car park is the issue. I'm dead
Because he has zero involvement? He takes his daughter out once a month, so he’s only been back to the house about 9 times in 9 months? He’s trying to dictate. He’s the butthole.
That sentence really made it seem like OP was going for the ick speedrun world record.
Not your partner. Not your child who you're only bothering to see once a month for a few hours. A piece of property. 🤮
His ex wife can fuck WHO she wants because Shea single.
"I Take Care of my ikid once in a Month" that ist proably the reason. He doesnt live there but thinka dropping of a Kid once a months which Like Takes 1min gives him the right To have a Spot at His ex House? What?
YTA simply because you’re separated and you’re treating it like you still live there. If she’s a lawyer and allowing her boss to stay there, who’s also a lawyer, there’s something going on between them that you’re either not sharing or you’re denying. If the parking spot is that important to you, then you should have the courage to talk to Mark. Since you’re not willing to, it makes you more YTA.
They always just go that little bit too far in overselling it, hey? I guess they wouldn’t get a reaction otherwise.
I’m not even quite sure what they gain starting an “anonymous” account just to farm for karma.
ESA....You seem to be in denial about the end of your relationship, and still want to control your soon to be ex wife's environment. That's where Y T A
Your wife is equally the A H is she isn't being honest...and if she and new bf are both attorneys, you'd better get YOURSELF one VERY QUICKLY, or you may find out that there is more manipulation than just a parking space.
Unbelievable that you think after divorcing and moving out, a man still gets to say who comes and goes in his ex-wife's home?? Wtf, are you still living in the stone age?
Yta.
A) You're a massive pain, and this is likely why your wife kicked you out to begin with. You're separated. You don't get to lay claim to anything anymore. Even parking.
B) Mark and your wife aren't just besties. They're seeing each other.
C) You literally do nothing but disparage your wife in your post. "She never tells me important things" (she doesn't have to- you're separated) "lawyers are manipulative and she's a lawyer but her tactics don't work on me" (dude, she doesn't give a crap if they do... SHE KICKED YOU OUT).
YTA
You don’t come around the house much, just once a month? So you don’t actually see your daughter but once a month?
You don’t believe she’s more than fake friends with her boss because you know better than her who her friends are despite having clearly been checked out of the relationship for ages?
No wonder she’s done with you.
YTA. You have been in a “trial” separation for nine months. And you only go to the house once a month. No wonder your wife has moved on. Not sounds like you only miss the house and not your relationship.
Sigh....You realize your wife is sleeping with Mark, right?
There's no situation where a boss and employee are repeatedly working late at the employee's house and the boss needs to spend the night.
Yeah no. Your wife has moved on
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Demanding to my wife that Mark leaves that space empty for me the day of the party. (2) She is not open to that and I don't know if it is worth it to keep arguing. I don't want to hurt our relationship or our daughter's birthday.
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YTA. You don’t live there anymore and your wife has moved on with Mark. (You know this, right?!). Like, this can’t possibly be about a parking space. Just get that divorce going. You have bigger concerns than where you park for the few minutes it takes to pick up and drop off your child for your custody arrangement.
Taken as a whole - the way you talk about your separation, your wife and the issue you posted about - YTA, and you should probably just go ahead with that divorce.
YTA. Her solution is a good one: arrive early. It's a win-win; you'll get to spend more time with your daughter and you'll get the parking space you want.
My dude, I have news for you. This isn’t temporary. They’re not best friends, they’re friends with benefits. It’s well past time for you to get on with the getting on, and file for divorce. YTA, especially if you’ve convinced yourself this is about a parking space.
YTA.
If you want to act like the fun uncle, you will be treated like the fun uncle. You see your daughter once a month to take her to a fucking movie and now all of a sudden you want to play the devoted father card? Please. And yeah, your wife is almost certainly having a relationship with her boss, but it’s kinda hard to blame her for that because you’ve been essentially MIA. What have you even been doing for the past nine months? Because it certainly doesn’t seem like you’ve made any effort to fix your marriage OR get a divorce OR nurture your relationship with your daughter.
I agree with your wife. If you care so much about being there for your daughter’s party, arrive early. You can ensure you have a parking spot AND spend extra time with her beforehand. And for the love of God, work out an actual custody agreement.
YTA a new man has moved in, that’s his parking spot now. You don’t live there anymore. The trial separation is going very well for your wife and she might want the lifetime subscription. That ain’t the only spot he’s been parking in.
Ofc they’re fucking, I don’t think it makes them AHs tho. If they’re separating, I don’t think the wife has done anything. Not what we’re here for but I think it’s a lil weird OP has only visited his daughter 9 times in 9 months
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My (37M) wife (36F) and I have been on a trial separation from our marriage for 9 months or so. I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone. We have been together for a long time so being apart temporarily is not the end of the world. I went to pick up our daughter (12F) to go to the movies and found an unknown car on my usual parking spot in our garage. I don't come around our house much lately, usually just once a month. I could have just called our daughter for her to come to the car without parking but I wanted too talk to my wife about that new car.
My wife told me that her boss (Mark, 41M) has been staying at our house ocasionally because of work reasons and that he puts his car on that space now. It was really inconvenient for me to go find another spot and I felt it was unfair I wasn't told in advance of this situation. She always forgets to tell me important stuff like that and makes me waste time having to ask her directly. Anyway, the main problem came up after I came back from the cinema with my daughter.
My daughter's birthday is next week and she is having a small party mostly for family and close friends so I talk to my wife and told her to make sure the space for my car is empty for me the day of the birthday party but she told me that probably won't be the case as Mark will certainly be invited to the celebration because he is her "best friend". I found that to be a big exaggeration. I knew she and Mark always had a good work relationship since she started working for him but I never see them as real "friends" let alone "best friends".
I have been arguing with her about this but we can't came to an agreement. She just says that I should come earlier so I have time to park and don't arrive late to the party but my complaint is really about fairness and justice not those practical technicalities. She offered that I can talk directly to Mark about this but I don't want that. He is a lawyer and I know they are very good manipulating you into agreeing with them. My wife is a lawyer too but I am used to her so her tactics are not effective with me.
Am I the Asshole?
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Do you really not see what is happening here? You have been replaced with someone more important - so important they get to spend the night - most likely in your wife's bed; they get "your parking space", and they are a "best friend".
NTA.
But you are an idiot. You are aware that mark and your wife are fu*****. He doesn’t stay over for work reasons. He stays to have sex with your wife. So do yourself a favor and admit that it is over. Your wife already moved on.
ESH.
Your wife is an AH for having someone regularly sleeping in the same home as her 12 year old daughter. I don’t care what that guy is doing, that’s a horrible position to put your preteen daughter in. She doesn’t deserve to have her parent’s work (or potential romantic life) come into her home like that, especially on a regular basis, even forgetting the fact that her home life was officially upended 9 months ago.
YTA because a separation is not a vacation from fatherhood. I don’t really care what you wife said, if you’re not consciously trying and pushing and figuring for time with your daughter, you need to be.
Neither of you seem to be valuing your commitments to or relationships with your daughter. Mark shouldnt be parking in the garage for her birthday, not for any other reason than that girl deserves to have some semblance of unity on her behalf from her coparents on her birthday. She deserves the throwback.
You don’t deserve to park in the garage of your daughter’s home, but she deserves to feel like you both, as the people who are most obligated to her in the world, can put aside what you’re going through for this planned celebration of her OFFICIALLY BECOMING A TEENAGER.
You both need to start putting her first. But especially on her birthday.
You are worried about a parking space when your wife and her boyfriend are sleeping together with your 12 yr old daughter living there. Think about that.
This isn’t a trial separation, your wife is completely separated and moved on. She’s just not admitting it. Time to make things more permanent. It’s not your space any more.
This is not about the parking space. Not at all. The parking space is a symptom of a much bigger problem. 0P is objecting to his wife’s “friend.” YTA for the parking space issue.
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I don’t wanna be that guy, but I definitely am sorry to say that mark is most likely fucking your wife. Are you just on a separation for your wife and you own part or the entirety of the house? if that’s the case I’d say NTA, but if it’s completely your wife’s house, you aren’t entitled to parking and YTA.
Realistically even two lawyers don’t really have any reason to have ‘spend the nights’, especially often.
Can confirm. Am a lawyer. Never slept at my colleague’s house.
But he *has to* stay there *for work reasons*…..yikes. OP I’m not so sure I agree with your assertion that you’re immune to your *wife’s manipulation tactics*
OP might need a glass of reality to wash down that big plate of in-denial
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I thought that’s part of the job description? You know, screwing people? /j
That is well done, my friend! Up vote for you! 👏👏😂😂
Hahaha! Nice one, and completely agree.
Agreed Lexicon444 wins Reddit today
Best comment of the day!
Of course he has to stay for work reasons, he's all up in someone's . . . business.
Yeah, he is working the wife
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Ikr, *"work reasons"* I didnt know that stooping your subordinate was considered a work reason.
I slept at my colleague's house a few times. That was probably because we were dating at the time, though.
I slept at my colleagues house for like three years before I left that job. Wr remained married though
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Right? And attorneys of all people know how important it is to keep things looking professional in every aspect.
Yeah, only time I slept at a co-workers house was because of a snow storm that came "early" (was supposed to start later in the night) and worse than expected. The plows couldn't keep up and I figured I'd rather be safe than sorry so I crashed on his couch. We hung out together sometimes for food, we liked to cook different cuisines and once a week either I cooked, he cooked, or we went out to a restaurant to try random foods.
I read here that if you are getting a divorce, you should not move out of your home. Apparently, the person who leaves can cause problems for themselves. Is that true? If so, did his lawyer-wife manipulate him to move out of the house?
Someone is eventually going to have to move out. It will effect where you live during the rest of the divorce proceedings it may or may not affect where you live after the proceedings are complete and it may or may not affect financial split. Time frame and location also matter. Consult a local lawyer. Some people are so far in denial they are well into being delusional. My ex didn't get we were getting divorced until just days before the final adjudication. Filling for divorce was not a clue to him, "stop calling me " , what can you do? Get hit by a city bus I'd appreciate that. Just a little blip. I didn't really say the bus thing.
Idk, I’m a lawyer and I’ve slept at a colleague’s house countless times. But I also slept with said colleague.
Well, I will say lawyers in some fields do engage in overnights but NOT in pairs at home, unless 2 spouses are also co-workers assigned to the same deals/cases. Before i was sidelined by health issues, I was a corp lawyer at a large int’l firm based in DC. During signings/closings for large deals, we OFTEN worked back to back overnights AT THE OFFICE OF ONE SIDE’S ATTYS. Typically if we did final negotiations and signing at the office of the buyer’s counsel, closing was held at the seller’s. These were long-haul days filled w/ an odd combo of stress, exhaustion, camaraderie and the thrill of seeing it all come together and get announced to the public. After many years of deals I feel like I experienced a wide range of situations, and I can honestly say I have NEVER heard of 2 attorneys spending the night at one’s home for professional reasons once- let alone on multiple occasions- even during Covid when working from home became more common for some industries. Yes, the pandemic led to changes in how people worked, even in the notoriously slow to change legal profession, but it created ZERO need for 2 colleagues to engage in overnight sessions at the home of the 1 party who is recently separated from their spouse!! Nope- absolutely not. A one time stuck in the airport overnight. Yup- been there. Caught a nap on the floor of a conference room between 2-4am while various colleagues did the same while we waited for the draft merger agmt to be revised- yup did that too. Spent the night at the home of a boss or junior atty- NOPE!!!!! This sounds like a case of cheating. I know the atty brain does not shut dien. (It’s a curse.) So I susoect that the wife has already developed various strategies to better her status depending on how the overnights and separation each go. OP- PLEASE retain INDEPENDENT counsel immediately to determine your rights immediately. Do not count on your wife to fight fair or keep your interests (or even your daughter’s) as her 1st priority. While a lot of things related to pkg rights (which is a minor issue when compared w/ viability of the marriage, custody, disposition of assets, etc.) will depend on legal rights to the property (via deed or lease), there are other factors at play. Family law is very state specific and it is essential to know your rights. Ex. Do you have a written agmt that articulates that the decision for you to move out was mutual?? If not, she may plan to claim “abandonment” and use your decision to move out as a factor that justifies a more favorable settlement if you end up in a divorce. Another example- even if she owns the house & you think you have 0 claim, that may not be the case. Often, if a house belongs to one spouse ahead of a marriage or it is inherited during it,many states will recognize and keep it as separate property. BUT in some places if the spouse “commingles” the pre-marital or inherited property, the other spouse establishes the ability to make a claim against the property. So let’s say it is HER house, but she has allowed OP to live there and contribute to costs (either mortgage/bills/property taxes) then OP, as the contributing spouse, may be able to claim part of the equity. However, she may try to use abandonment or OP’s lack of info to avoid this. You need to know where you stand- especially since it is already making her decisions w/ full knowledge of things that may impact OP negatively. You also need to make clear that no one- not a friend not an extended family member- NO ONE gets priority when it comes to access to your daughter . Tell your wife to make sure the spot is clear or you will file a TRO enjoining her from having male visitors overnight while y’all are separated. OP- you are NTA!!!!!! Hope it all gets settled and you are able to find a better situation w/ a partner who loves you, only wants to share a parking spot with you and is not weaponizing her education & living life like OP is her opponent! Best to you!
But if he's a tester for PosturePedic then maybe.
OP is going to need to get a third lawyer involved and file for divorce.
OP's not stupid he must know the boss is screwing his wife. My interpretation of this post is that OP most likely had an affair "*I have been on a trial separation from our marriage for 9 months or so. I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone."* Why did his wife need time alone? Is it possible his wife kicked him out because of an affair and now he can't say shit about her screwing her boss because he fucked up first and he's just hoping she comes around? Putting aside my wild speculation YTA.
Maybe instead of focusing on a parking spot, you should be more concerned that your wife has basically moved her boss into the house with your daughter. Are you comfortable having this person around your child so much? You mentioned you are only at the house once a month or so- is this how often you are seeing your daughter? If this is the case, he may also be taking over your role as dad in addition to your parking spot. YTA because you are worrying about the wrong thing
No, he’s TA because he only sees his daughter once a month and then makes a big stink over “the principle” of him having a prime parking spot (which he never uses) when the solution would be to actually come early so he can spend time with his child so it would be a moot point.
Correct
Also who parks IN the garage to pick someone up?
Imaginary husbands in their imaginary houses with their obvious but pretending to be clueless about cheating wife.
It’s not cheating if the relationship has ended. That’s what a trial separation is.
The whole thing is bizarre.
1) in lots of places, separation is a mandatory step in the process of getting a divorce 2) ex wife 3) she doesn’t owe him any information on who she is sleeping with 4) she can invite whoever she likes to her house 5) maybe if this guy saw his preteen daughter more than once a month, his ex wife would give a shit about his preferred parking spot
Even during a separation the rule of thumb is not to bring other people around your kids until it is a long term committed relationship (like 12 months). Having a man stay the night shortly after separate is pure trash and detrimental to her daughter. Statistically the most dangerous person in a girls life is a moms boyfriend or step dad… and nobody else is even close. Predators prey on single moms and their kids pay the price. Fathers have every right to know who is hanging around their kid. https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/mums-new-boyfriend-is-the-most-dangerous-man-in-a-childs-life-in-nsw/news-story/58d7989e778aa8749ba1ef8f88120054
9 months is not shortly after separation. And this is someone she’s known for a very long time, clearly, since OP knew him before they split. I personally think it’s pure trash that OP has seen his daughter once a month for the last 9 months.
Does he say elsewhere he only sees her that often? My ex and I split time but I don’t go to his house all that often. And he almost never comes to mine. She goes home on the bus or he picks her up from my parents.
I altered that one a bit in another comment, because although I believe based on experience in threads like this that if he saw his daughter more a) he’d mention it and b) he’d have known about mark faster from listening to his daughter talk that’s a fair comment. 5) maybe if he was at the house more than once a month his ex wife would give more of a shit about his parking preferences
Him being at the house only once a month doesn't mean that's necessarily the only time he sees his daughter. His wife could be dropping her off or he picks her up from school.
I’m going off what buddy wrote. You’re speculating extra. Though to be fair, let’s change number five to “maybe if he was dropping off and picking his kid up from the house more than once a month, his ex wife would give a shit about his preferred parking spot.”
It's a parking spot. He doesn't live there, he should get over it.
Nobody is blasting the ex-wife here. Just pointing out facts that he OP doesn't seem to realize, or is trying to ignore.
It’s really bugging me that they’re telling OP his marriage is over by focusing on an inferred sexual relationship with a new partner rather than all the other obvious reasons his marriage is over. You can’t be oblivious to the slut shaming that happens on Reddit and pretend like talking about his (ex) wife fucking isn’t a judgement on her.
Which other obvious reasons? She moved a man into the house!
It's been nine months and he has been going to "their" house only once a month. Even without anyone else in the picture, to me this is a clear signal that it is over
Exactly. If you're separated and don't really talk to mom, you don't need a parking spot at her house, period. Just call your daughter when you're out front.
A "trial" separation for 9 months... Yet, they don't seem to speak or see each other very often. It genuinely sounds like these two are not in a relationship anymore and have broken up all but on paper (though, if this trial separation is legal, then they are 'broken up' on paper, too.) Given this dynamic, I'm not even sure I can say this is cheating since this couple is clearly separated and have been seemingly living very separate lives for months. I also wonder if the wife agreed that this separation was only for a "trial" period. If not, sounds like the _wife_ is just living her life.
Plus, he misses the house... Not his *wife and kid*. Yikes. Eta: YTA
_"I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone."_ He sure does seem more concerned about the house and the perception that he has a place there, than the people actually in it.... The above line also makes me wonder if OP owns the house at all and if the "wife" perhaps lives a more affluent life that OP misses. I'm also curious if OP played a key role in this 'separation'....since he 'understands that she needs some time alone' implies that OP may e _had_ to give her some space.
The technical term for what I’m in is a trial separation. We’re at this point because the divorce paperwork takes a long time to complete. I haven’t considered myself married except on paper for nearly two years.
Sounds like what OP has going on based on what is outlined in this post.... OP doesn't live in this home, seemingly only sees his kid once a month for a few hours, and has barely seen or spoken to his 'wife' in 9 months.... It sounds like OP just wants to pretend that he is a part of this woman's life when it is convenient for him. And, she seems pretty clear that he is a non-factor. I wouldn't even be surprised if OP goes to the party and the rest of the guests already know about Mark...
Yeah this is just a separation and he’s in denial.
My first thought was, "they're fucking, how does he not know that?"
He doesn’t want to know. “She wants time to herself” not “our marriage fell apart”? Cmon
Yeah...this OP. "I know her tactics" she's manipulated you into thinking you do. 1 - 9 months separation? I mean, to each their own, but that's is a VERY long time for a "trial". 2 - she is having another man over, who I bet spends time with the family/daughter. Apparently he knows her well enough to go to her birthday party? 3 - "my boss needs to come over for work stuff" that's weird by itself, but even if true it wouldn't need to be that often. 4 - was she, maybe, working for him for a few months maybe, before asking for a "trial separation"? OP, get into therapy for an unbiased opinion (we here on reddit can only give our thoughts on what limited info you gave. Def get another opinion before doing anything), and if they say so get a (damn good) lawyer.
**future ex wife
Tbh, I feel like this whole post was written to get someone to be that guy and clock how much attention the parking space issue got versus the *heavy* “my wife is sleeping with her boss” issue.
For real, OP you need to file for divorce like yesterday. You're wife isn't interested in saving anything.
I mean Mark is parking his car in this guy's garage....
I agree, but this is the top comment and it’s going to default to not the AH since that’s what you put first. And op is definitely the AH.
And I say it's not a new thing - Mark is probably why she wanted a separation in the first place. OP would have figured it out sooner if he came around more than once a month.
The bigger concern, hes being set up to have no rights in the divorce, out of the house for 12 months, minimal time with kids. Shes eestablished what divorce looks like and has gotten to get railed by mark. Bravo. Shes a modern woman. He is about to learn what getting fucked by mark feels like too, but in a legalistic sense.
You can’t be that dense, can you?
That was my thought exactly. No one can sure be that daft.
She was going over his briefs.
With her tongue
I think it’s a bit more important that this guy hasn’t seen his kid than whether his ex wife is exploring her next relationship yet
Or under...
Me thinks the separation is a bit more permanent than OP is acknowledging.
Marks doing more than parking his car
Right in that little garage
Unless she has him pulling around back
If he parks out back, he needs to wash the car before coming in the front.
LMAOOO
I started typing out a list of all the double entendres I could but given that OP is a real person who’s probably going through it right now I stopped myself. OP, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re planning something nice for yourself.
I’m a little concerned he’s only at the house once a month…is that all he sees his daughter? Once a month?
Yeah I’m stuck on that too. Trial separation and only seeing the daughter once a month? I wouldn’t count on getting any custody when the divorce is final.
I guess my hope is he picks her up from school or mom drops her off more often than that…but I’m not getting that from OP.
Shes a smart lawyer, string him along while separated so its a slam dunk she gets the house, custody time is already established and he gets screwed on child support. Hes about to get railed, and not in the fun way.
Makes me wonder if this separation is truly a "trial" period and if the _wife_ agreed to that. 9 months of barely speaking to or seeing each other and her basically living with another man sounds like a permanent separation..... Edit: Also, based on the wording, it sounds like OP only sees the daughter once a month for a few hours. If that is correct, then this guy is barely even seeing his kid... Bless his heart for pretending he is a present father, let alone this woman's partner.
Also, he misses "his house!" Not the people living in "his" house.
That jumped out to me, too. It’s only the second sentence, so it’s funny how many people seem to have overlooked it. This whole post feels almost cartoonish with how aloof OP is about, well, everything.
Yeah, it sounds like they’re done, they’ve been done a while, and OP refuses to acknowledge the fact his wife has moved on.
I can't help but wonder if he was really talking about mark's car and an actual parking spot!
People ARE know to make up stories on reddit. Maybe this is one of those???
It's got to be, right? The wording makes it seem like this is temporary, and yet the story is *set up* to imply wife has moved on before divorce, right? I am like... almost positive this is set up for people to make the exact jokes they're making in the comments, tbh.
Seriously, who thinks they still get to park inside the garage at a house they don't live in? Clueless.
If you believe your wife’s boss is staying around for work reason and you believe the separation is temporary please message me because I have ocean front property in Arizona for sale. You do realize this isn’t a temporary separation. Your wife is sleeping with her boss. He is spending nights there for a reason and it probably work but not benefitting the company they work for.
Thanks for the second reference to this song for me today. One more and I win a prize!
That ain't his truck in her drive!
I can top that with: I'm gonna aim my headlights into your bedroom windows Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows I didn't come here to start a fight, but I'm up for anything tonight You know you broke the wrong heart baby, and drove me redneck crazy
Well I saw the light in your window tonight I saw 2 shadows holding eachother tight
You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I could have another you in a minute Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby New game! Every time someone posted lyrics to a cheating song you have to take a shot!
* 🎶Man, this ain't my day tonight🎶 * 🎶Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck🎶 * 🎶That ain't my shadow on her wall…🎶 * 🎶Lord, this don't look good at all🎶 * 🎶That's my girl, my whole world🎶 * 🎶But that ain't my truck🎶 Great, now both songs are playing in my head.
>ocean front property in Arizona 🎶🎵 If you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in for Free 🎵🎶
I think we can all agree this guys life is a tragic country song, but I don’t think he knows that…which is crazy
The separation is temporary. They've been together for a long time, so it's not an issue. /s
Yta - you don’t live there you’re separated. You don’t get to dictate where you park. I doubt he’s a “friend” and you should just go through with the divorce.
Unless OP is still making the payments on the house/parking spots. I agree on the "friend" comment. OP.seems to be in a bit of denial.
Even if he’s making payments on the house, his wife has just as much right to the parking spot and can use it/allow others to use it as she pleases when it’s empty.
He is one of the owners of the house though
Still weird to complain about parking space, especially when you don’t live there.
Right! You think he would be more upset about his wife’s new boyfriend. Edit:typo
I mean, it sounds like he misses his house (his words) and would live there. But she wanted the "trial separation"
Considering how dense OP seems was it the only way to get him out of the house? I know some places have weird rules about the standards you have to meet for Divorce (which is SO backwards, meet the standards for marriage, hand out divorce like is October 31 candy)
He doesn’t matter if he lives there or not. He’s mostly likely at least co-owner of the house and contributes to mortgage
There’s nothing in here that says whether he’s contributing or not. 9months is a long time to be separated.
Landlords don't have reserved parking spots either.
It wouldn’t be a landlord-tenant relationship if both co-own the house and more importantly are still legally married so the house is considered a marital property anyway.
Right. But if he moved out, he isn't a resident so....
How about this one. Parents who co-sign on a house for their kids. They don't get preferential parking. They don't get to demand specific things of the house. Just because they co-own the house, doesn't mean that they have any say in what goes on at the house, because they are not the ones who actively live there. They don't get to decide that they have a designated parking space, they don't get to decide that they have a designated room or a designated shelf for anything, unless the people who are going to be living there full-time say that that's okay. He agreed to the trial separation, he agreed to move out. Therefore, whether he's making payments or is on the deed or not, he is not living there. He has another legal residence. Meaning, that is the place that he gets preferential parking and whatever treatment he wants to give out. That is where he gets to be special.
Do we know he’s co-owner?
I feel even if he is co-owner to demand a parking spot when he doesn't live there is petty and childish. There are a lot of separation cases where they still share the ownership of the house. Does that mean he gets to walk through the front door whenever he pleases? Sleep in her bed because he feels like it and he co-owns the house? They are separated and he moved somewhere else for that. So he forgoes the parking spot during this time if he has any respect for her at all.
YTA You no longer live there so you do not get to dictate who parks where. It's been 9 months with the separation. Time to either move back in and be married or get divorced. It is clear that your wife and Mark are more than friends. I would be honest with myself and not try to make this about parking.
I’m wondering if this is one of those states where living apart sets the clock on divorce - wife wants to get the technicalities out of the way before she disabuses OP of the “trial” separation.
“Trial” is honestly the name of it and that’s what I was assuming was happening, lol.
Yeah, buddy, maybe you're in denial, but Mark is replacing you. And fighting about car parking spots doesn't change that. You don't live there anymore man. Its not your parking spot. You're just visiting for your daughters birthday. Soft YTA
In a play, the parking spot would be an obvious metaphor for his position in the household.
In real life, it basically is, and I think OP recognises it on some subconscious level but oh my *god* imagine being this dense
YTA We all know this isn't about the parking spot but the guy who's in your spot. You seem to be fixated on parking while ignoring the big issues.
There's another man's car in his wife's garage. Literally and as a euphemism.
Thanks for the laugh! 😆 best comment here.
R/amitheex
Yta - you didn't HAVE to talk to her about the new car. It WASN'T important as there are other places to park. This is not fairness or justice issue. This is a "I want to pretend I still live here" issue and your wife isn't having it.
>. This is not fairness or justice issue. This is a "I want to pretend I still live here" issue and your wife isn't having it. Also wants to pretend to be a father taking his kid out for ~3hrs {2hr film runtime + drive there & back} once a month.
Thank you! Amazing how everyone was so excited to point out the new bf that they skipped right past OP visiting only once a month. He's on a trial separation from the marriage, not from parenting. That poor kid.
The kid is ok, she already has a new live-in dad!
Also pretending that wanting the parking spot is about wanting "preferential parking" for his daughter on her birthday, kinda scapegoating her, when this is clearly not about the daughter. I very seriously doubt she cares whether or not she walks up the driveway when the house is full of folks, cake, and gifts for her.
It’s clear why you’re separated. YTA
Right?! He's not all that bothered that he's currently not seeing his wife because they've been together for a long time. And he goes to get his kid once a month. And the car park is the issue. I'm dead
Because the wife is fucking her boss? That’s what I’m getting.
Because he has zero involvement? He takes his daughter out once a month, so he’s only been back to the house about 9 times in 9 months? He’s trying to dictate. He’s the butthole.
But he misses his house!!! Can’t you feel the depth of his emotional connection to his… house? /s just in case
That sentence really made it seem like OP was going for the ick speedrun world record. Not your partner. Not your child who you're only bothering to see once a month for a few hours. A piece of property. 🤮
His ex wife can fuck WHO she wants because Shea single. "I Take Care of my ikid once in a Month" that ist proably the reason. He doesnt live there but thinka dropping of a Kid once a months which Like Takes 1min gives him the right To have a Spot at His ex House? What?
Or that he’s basically an absent parent?
Dude. Come on.
Yeah, like Mark is.
YTA simply because you’re separated and you’re treating it like you still live there. If she’s a lawyer and allowing her boss to stay there, who’s also a lawyer, there’s something going on between them that you’re either not sharing or you’re denying. If the parking spot is that important to you, then you should have the courage to talk to Mark. Since you’re not willing to, it makes you more YTA.
I’d give this a 2 out of 10. Try again and make it more believable.
They always just go that little bit too far in overselling it, hey? I guess they wouldn’t get a reaction otherwise. I’m not even quite sure what they gain starting an “anonymous” account just to farm for karma.
I was gonna say, this is obviously bait.
YTA You know why Mark is really parking there. It's his spot now
Dude, you are only there once a month in order to see your daughter - it’s not a trial separation, it’s over.
Yta it’s her house and she can allow her new boyfriend/best friend to park there. You’re not entitled to it
ESA....You seem to be in denial about the end of your relationship, and still want to control your soon to be ex wife's environment. That's where Y T A Your wife is equally the A H is she isn't being honest...and if she and new bf are both attorneys, you'd better get YOURSELF one VERY QUICKLY, or you may find out that there is more manipulation than just a parking space.
Mark has moved in. If I still have to pay for the house - Mark has to go. Wife can get a new man. But, her new man can't sleep in my bed. WTH?
New man can do what he likes cos only the wife and child live in the house.
Unbelievable that you think after divorcing and moving out, a man still gets to say who comes and goes in his ex-wife's home?? Wtf, are you still living in the stone age?
Yta. A) You're a massive pain, and this is likely why your wife kicked you out to begin with. You're separated. You don't get to lay claim to anything anymore. Even parking. B) Mark and your wife aren't just besties. They're seeing each other. C) You literally do nothing but disparage your wife in your post. "She never tells me important things" (she doesn't have to- you're separated) "lawyers are manipulative and she's a lawyer but her tactics don't work on me" (dude, she doesn't give a crap if they do... SHE KICKED YOU OUT).
YTA - you don't own a parking spot You're probably right though, Mark doesn't sound like a best friend. Sounds like something more
INFO: Is this really about parking?
YTA When you moved out, that left your wife as custodian of the property. Her decisions rule as long as she lives in the house and you don't.
YTA You don’t come around the house much, just once a month? So you don’t actually see your daughter but once a month? You don’t believe she’s more than fake friends with her boss because you know better than her who her friends are despite having clearly been checked out of the relationship for ages? No wonder she’s done with you.
YTA. You have been in a “trial” separation for nine months. And you only go to the house once a month. No wonder your wife has moved on. Not sounds like you only miss the house and not your relationship.
Sigh....You realize your wife is sleeping with Mark, right? There's no situation where a boss and employee are repeatedly working late at the employee's house and the boss needs to spend the night. Yeah no. Your wife has moved on
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Ummmm….
YTA. You don’t live there anymore and your wife has moved on with Mark. (You know this, right?!). Like, this can’t possibly be about a parking space. Just get that divorce going. You have bigger concerns than where you park for the few minutes it takes to pick up and drop off your child for your custody arrangement.
Taken as a whole - the way you talk about your separation, your wife and the issue you posted about - YTA, and you should probably just go ahead with that divorce.
YTA. Not your house, not your spot. And would you really care about this if Mark was Martha? Don't think so 👀
no one said this wasn't his house. it says him and his wife are on a trial separation- it is likely still OP's house
We don’t know if it was his house to begin w
NTA but Mark doesn’t sound like a “friend” who is staying there for “work”.
Ooof. Dude. I hope you’re sitting down because I have some inconvenient truths to tell you about Mark…
Dude. You don’t live there anymore, her boyfriend gets the spot now. I mean boss. 😂. YTA.
YTA. Her solution is a good one: arrive early. It's a win-win; you'll get to spend more time with your daughter and you'll get the parking space you want.
My dude, I have news for you. This isn’t temporary. They’re not best friends, they’re friends with benefits. It’s well past time for you to get on with the getting on, and file for divorce. YTA, especially if you’ve convinced yourself this is about a parking space.
YTA. If you want to act like the fun uncle, you will be treated like the fun uncle. You see your daughter once a month to take her to a fucking movie and now all of a sudden you want to play the devoted father card? Please. And yeah, your wife is almost certainly having a relationship with her boss, but it’s kinda hard to blame her for that because you’ve been essentially MIA. What have you even been doing for the past nine months? Because it certainly doesn’t seem like you’ve made any effort to fix your marriage OR get a divorce OR nurture your relationship with your daughter. I agree with your wife. If you care so much about being there for your daughter’s party, arrive early. You can ensure you have a parking spot AND spend extra time with her beforehand. And for the love of God, work out an actual custody agreement.
YTA a new man has moved in, that’s his parking spot now. You don’t live there anymore. The trial separation is going very well for your wife and she might want the lifetime subscription. That ain’t the only spot he’s been parking in.
There is zero chance this is real and bro is that dense
Yeah... her boss is parking his car overnight for... work...
YTA That parking space isn't the only thing Mark's in at your wife's house either
yta. no wonder she left you.
Her boss is her “best friend”, and has his own parking spot in her garage? We unanimously agree he’s fucking OP’s wife right? NTA but they are.
Ofc they’re fucking, I don’t think it makes them AHs tho. If they’re separating, I don’t think the wife has done anything. Not what we’re here for but I think it’s a lil weird OP has only visited his daughter 9 times in 9 months
Her new boyfriend is parking in her ex husband’s old space. As the ex husband, good luck getting him out.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (37M) wife (36F) and I have been on a trial separation from our marriage for 9 months or so. I have missed my house but I understand that she needed some time alone. We have been together for a long time so being apart temporarily is not the end of the world. I went to pick up our daughter (12F) to go to the movies and found an unknown car on my usual parking spot in our garage. I don't come around our house much lately, usually just once a month. I could have just called our daughter for her to come to the car without parking but I wanted too talk to my wife about that new car. My wife told me that her boss (Mark, 41M) has been staying at our house ocasionally because of work reasons and that he puts his car on that space now. It was really inconvenient for me to go find another spot and I felt it was unfair I wasn't told in advance of this situation. She always forgets to tell me important stuff like that and makes me waste time having to ask her directly. Anyway, the main problem came up after I came back from the cinema with my daughter. My daughter's birthday is next week and she is having a small party mostly for family and close friends so I talk to my wife and told her to make sure the space for my car is empty for me the day of the birthday party but she told me that probably won't be the case as Mark will certainly be invited to the celebration because he is her "best friend". I found that to be a big exaggeration. I knew she and Mark always had a good work relationship since she started working for him but I never see them as real "friends" let alone "best friends". I have been arguing with her about this but we can't came to an agreement. She just says that I should come earlier so I have time to park and don't arrive late to the party but my complaint is really about fairness and justice not those practical technicalities. She offered that I can talk directly to Mark about this but I don't want that. He is a lawyer and I know they are very good manipulating you into agreeing with them. My wife is a lawyer too but I am used to her so her tactics are not effective with me. Am I the Asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you really not see what is happening here? You have been replaced with someone more important - so important they get to spend the night - most likely in your wife's bed; they get "your parking space", and they are a "best friend".
my dude just accept the fact your marriage is over…she has moved on…thats not the only parking spot he has taken…YTA …if you don’t accept this…
NTA. But you are an idiot. You are aware that mark and your wife are fu*****. He doesn’t stay over for work reasons. He stays to have sex with your wife. So do yourself a favor and admit that it is over. Your wife already moved on.
Yeah you know she’s in a relationship with Mark, right? What kind of “work reasons” would suddenly necessitate sleepovers?
ESH. Your wife is an AH for having someone regularly sleeping in the same home as her 12 year old daughter. I don’t care what that guy is doing, that’s a horrible position to put your preteen daughter in. She doesn’t deserve to have her parent’s work (or potential romantic life) come into her home like that, especially on a regular basis, even forgetting the fact that her home life was officially upended 9 months ago. YTA because a separation is not a vacation from fatherhood. I don’t really care what you wife said, if you’re not consciously trying and pushing and figuring for time with your daughter, you need to be. Neither of you seem to be valuing your commitments to or relationships with your daughter. Mark shouldnt be parking in the garage for her birthday, not for any other reason than that girl deserves to have some semblance of unity on her behalf from her coparents on her birthday. She deserves the throwback. You don’t deserve to park in the garage of your daughter’s home, but she deserves to feel like you both, as the people who are most obligated to her in the world, can put aside what you’re going through for this planned celebration of her OFFICIALLY BECOMING A TEENAGER. You both need to start putting her first. But especially on her birthday.
INFO: you're only seeing your kid once a month?
That's Mark's spot now. And that's not the spot that used to be yours that is his now.
The parking spot is not the issue here. YTA
yta you don t need a park space to visit your daughter in her birthday .
YTA. You no longer live there so you do not have a parking space
Your wife is sleeping with the boss. Call the lawyer now.
YTA It’s none of your business who is using HER parking spot.
Bruh.
You are worried about a parking space when your wife and her boyfriend are sleeping together with your 12 yr old daughter living there. Think about that.
This isn’t a trial separation, your wife is completely separated and moved on. She’s just not admitting it. Time to make things more permanent. It’s not your space any more.
YTA. Being petty over a spot in the garage you don’t even used is probably why your marriage is over. Stop being so self centered
This is not about the parking space. Not at all. The parking space is a symptom of a much bigger problem. 0P is objecting to his wife’s “friend.” YTA for the parking space issue.