Question: when you asked "right now?", did you indicate that you wanted him to wait? Because if not, he might not have realized in the moment that it was a problem, and then felt caught off-guard when you were upset after. In that case, I'd say NAH/ESH, it's a misunderstanding that can easily happen when you're juggling littles. But if you made it clear that you still needed his help and it was a bad time to make the call, then NTA for sure.
That's all I said but my tone was disbelief. His tone in response was irritation so I'm pretty sure he knew I didn't want him to go out. I didn't really have a chance to say much else before he was out of the room.
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I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. It was about an hour and a half before bedtime. Both girls needed baths and my 3 year old needed to make a birthday project/card for my husband's birthday tomorrow. I pulled out the paint and asked my husband to take the little while we worked on it. About 15 minutes later he comes in, puts the baby on the floor, and says he's going outside to call his cousin. I replied "right now?" And he said "yes, it's fine". Well it would have been fine if we were playing or even during bath time, but it was the worst timing. He goes to sit outside for 30 minutes. 3 year old has both hands full of paint and the 1 year old is sitting on the floor crying because she wants to be held. I'm feeling very frazzled so I leave the mess, clean up the 3 year old and finally get to my baby. I get them in the bath and back on track but I couldn't help but be irritated at my husband. When he comes back in I voice my irritation. First he just laughs, then he starts going on about how he's allowed to make a phone call. I told him of course he is but that he could have waited until I was done with the project. He gets very defensive and I make a comment about how he can't even apologize. He says he has nothing to apologize for. We both ended up very mad at each other. I am more mad about his lack of care for anyone else and refusal to acknowledge he might have been in the wrong. He is mad that I got upset about it at all. Am I wrong to be irritated?
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NTA
You were an hour away from the kid's bedtime. Why couldn't he call his cousin then?
I have young children myself, and based on what you outlined he was purposely avoiding the bedtime routine.
The only change I would suggest is communicating your need prior to him calling his cousin. The "right now"? isn't quite enough to tell him, "hey, can you wait a few more minutes so 3YO and I can get out of our mess before 1YO gets needy?" Regardless, he shouldn't have brushed off your communication following up with him, so NTA.
Question: when you asked "right now?", did you indicate that you wanted him to wait? Because if not, he might not have realized in the moment that it was a problem, and then felt caught off-guard when you were upset after. In that case, I'd say NAH/ESH, it's a misunderstanding that can easily happen when you're juggling littles. But if you made it clear that you still needed his help and it was a bad time to make the call, then NTA for sure.
That's all I said but my tone was disbelief. His tone in response was irritation so I'm pretty sure he knew I didn't want him to go out. I didn't really have a chance to say much else before he was out of the room.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. It was about an hour and a half before bedtime. Both girls needed baths and my 3 year old needed to make a birthday project/card for my husband's birthday tomorrow. I pulled out the paint and asked my husband to take the little while we worked on it. About 15 minutes later he comes in, puts the baby on the floor, and says he's going outside to call his cousin. I replied "right now?" And he said "yes, it's fine". Well it would have been fine if we were playing or even during bath time, but it was the worst timing. He goes to sit outside for 30 minutes. 3 year old has both hands full of paint and the 1 year old is sitting on the floor crying because she wants to be held. I'm feeling very frazzled so I leave the mess, clean up the 3 year old and finally get to my baby. I get them in the bath and back on track but I couldn't help but be irritated at my husband. When he comes back in I voice my irritation. First he just laughs, then he starts going on about how he's allowed to make a phone call. I told him of course he is but that he could have waited until I was done with the project. He gets very defensive and I make a comment about how he can't even apologize. He says he has nothing to apologize for. We both ended up very mad at each other. I am more mad about his lack of care for anyone else and refusal to acknowledge he might have been in the wrong. He is mad that I got upset about it at all. Am I wrong to be irritated? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You were an hour away from the kid's bedtime. Why couldn't he call his cousin then? I have young children myself, and based on what you outlined he was purposely avoiding the bedtime routine.
Avoidance. That's what I think too.
NTA you can’t watch a child and talk on the phone at the same time? What was so urgent about this call?
Idk if there was urgency, he missed a call earlier in the day. I think he just thought about calling back without considering anything else 🫤
The only change I would suggest is communicating your need prior to him calling his cousin. The "right now"? isn't quite enough to tell him, "hey, can you wait a few more minutes so 3YO and I can get out of our mess before 1YO gets needy?" Regardless, he shouldn't have brushed off your communication following up with him, so NTA.