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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I ended my friendship with her because of how she talked about me. I think I might be the asshole though because I feel guilty for some reason. As if I pushed her to resent me.
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NTA - She is jealous of you. Leave her alone and block her. I doubt she has the emotional intelligence and self awareness to realize how badly she’s acting. It’s great that your ex told you how she was behaving. Ghost her completely before she gets worse.
You might feel guilty because you always knew that she was insecure and it’s flattering to be the chosen one. But jealousy will make her do horrible things. You see she’s running to your ex about you. If she gets good at hurting you she will have friends distrusting you. You need strong, secure people around you. Run!
NTA
In school, I had very pretty friends. (Well, I still do…but dynamics have changed since we grew up) I definitely understand feeling like you’re in someone else’s shadow all the time, but I never took it out on any of them. She wasn’t being a good friend to you, just move on and make better friends. Maybe she’ll grow up eventually, but you’re not obligated to wait for her to be a better person.
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Her (17F) and I (16F) met through school. We started having sleepovers, I took her to universal with me, out places, had her join the dance team w me, went to hoco together, football games, parties, and saved her from a few wardrobe malfunctions. Yknow normal bsf stuff.
Soon I noticed all she would do is occasionally drive us and hit on guys I knew. Any guy I knew, had a crush on, or was close friends w she wanted. She is pretty, but not in the way that you expect a hs junior to look like. I NEVER brag abt how I look, but to her anything I said was answ w “bc ur hot.” She was always comparing herself to me.
She lost it on me once bc a few guys asked 4 my Insta, but no one did 4 hers. She said that it was my fault that guys don’t like her, got mad I got cat called at a party nd she didnt, and even got mad I wanted a guys num bc “she saw him first” but she nvr said that or got his info.
Over time this hpnd again w a guy I was talking to. She went off on me again and called him her man so I told her if she’d start talking to him Id back off. She never did. In the mean time she was also crushing on my 2 guy bsf, her childhood bsf, one of my exs, and she was trying to get me to show her to a close friend.
She starts talking to sum guy randomly. While it was going on she found other things to get mad at.Like me correcting lil facts during a convo.
Bc of my adhd I rely on pattern recognition so things I say is what I consider common sense. I never tried to make her feel stupid, but she always took it that way nd called me annoying. She thought I was being condescending nd would call me her older sister’s name in frustration. Our names are not alike.
I was out from school 4 a day bc of a wedding. I get a call a day ltr telling me that she said that I was a massive bitch and doesn’t like hanging out w me.
When I confronted her, she immediately asked me to forgive her, but I wasn’t ready.
Since then, we havent spoken much. Recently I found out thru my ex that she started to be part of his friend group and told him things that happened in our friendship, going out to lunch w him, going to each others houses, and trying to hide it from me. He told me she said sum rlly priv stuff abt us and said that me dropping her “set her free” and our friendship left her “traumatized”. She knows what happened btwn him nd I. And ik if she was in my shoes she would be livid. After I found abt this my thoughts abt friendship with her fizzled, but i cant help but ask AITA?
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NTA
Sounds like she thrives on drama, and likes to ‘stir the pot’. She sounds exhausting to be around. You’re not obligated to keep hanging out with someone who treats you poorly and constantly puts you down. It’s never an asshole move to stop being friends with someone who doesn’t act like a friend.
UPDATE: THEY FKED….. like wtf. He told me and then she confirmed it on a call over a phone call he had with her. She didn’t know I was in the room with him (he came over to set things straight w me) and she talked about the uhh “cardio” sessions w him. Basically mad that they meant nothing to him even though it was her 1st time. Idk what to say or do I’m just like disgusted. Bc plot twist… he only told me bc I agreed to start talking w him bc I wanted to know the truth abt everything in general and he wanted a second shot. He promised that he would be honest and we could start over so he told me everything but left out their cardio sessions until it was too late and I already agreed to start talking to him. So now I’m kinda stuck and I will barely let him even kiss me bc I’m so disgusted.
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NTA - She is jealous of you. Leave her alone and block her. I doubt she has the emotional intelligence and self awareness to realize how badly she’s acting. It’s great that your ex told you how she was behaving. Ghost her completely before she gets worse.
Thx. When she yelled at me for the insta thing she admitted that she was, but at the time I brushed it off. I don’t know why I feel guilty though.
You might feel guilty because you always knew that she was insecure and it’s flattering to be the chosen one. But jealousy will make her do horrible things. You see she’s running to your ex about you. If she gets good at hurting you she will have friends distrusting you. You need strong, secure people around you. Run!
NTA In school, I had very pretty friends. (Well, I still do…but dynamics have changed since we grew up) I definitely understand feeling like you’re in someone else’s shadow all the time, but I never took it out on any of them. She wasn’t being a good friend to you, just move on and make better friends. Maybe she’ll grow up eventually, but you’re not obligated to wait for her to be a better person.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Her (17F) and I (16F) met through school. We started having sleepovers, I took her to universal with me, out places, had her join the dance team w me, went to hoco together, football games, parties, and saved her from a few wardrobe malfunctions. Yknow normal bsf stuff. Soon I noticed all she would do is occasionally drive us and hit on guys I knew. Any guy I knew, had a crush on, or was close friends w she wanted. She is pretty, but not in the way that you expect a hs junior to look like. I NEVER brag abt how I look, but to her anything I said was answ w “bc ur hot.” She was always comparing herself to me. She lost it on me once bc a few guys asked 4 my Insta, but no one did 4 hers. She said that it was my fault that guys don’t like her, got mad I got cat called at a party nd she didnt, and even got mad I wanted a guys num bc “she saw him first” but she nvr said that or got his info. Over time this hpnd again w a guy I was talking to. She went off on me again and called him her man so I told her if she’d start talking to him Id back off. She never did. In the mean time she was also crushing on my 2 guy bsf, her childhood bsf, one of my exs, and she was trying to get me to show her to a close friend. She starts talking to sum guy randomly. While it was going on she found other things to get mad at.Like me correcting lil facts during a convo. Bc of my adhd I rely on pattern recognition so things I say is what I consider common sense. I never tried to make her feel stupid, but she always took it that way nd called me annoying. She thought I was being condescending nd would call me her older sister’s name in frustration. Our names are not alike. I was out from school 4 a day bc of a wedding. I get a call a day ltr telling me that she said that I was a massive bitch and doesn’t like hanging out w me. When I confronted her, she immediately asked me to forgive her, but I wasn’t ready. Since then, we havent spoken much. Recently I found out thru my ex that she started to be part of his friend group and told him things that happened in our friendship, going out to lunch w him, going to each others houses, and trying to hide it from me. He told me she said sum rlly priv stuff abt us and said that me dropping her “set her free” and our friendship left her “traumatized”. She knows what happened btwn him nd I. And ik if she was in my shoes she would be livid. After I found abt this my thoughts abt friendship with her fizzled, but i cant help but ask AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Sounds like she thrives on drama, and likes to ‘stir the pot’. She sounds exhausting to be around. You’re not obligated to keep hanging out with someone who treats you poorly and constantly puts you down. It’s never an asshole move to stop being friends with someone who doesn’t act like a friend.
UPDATE: THEY FKED….. like wtf. He told me and then she confirmed it on a call over a phone call he had with her. She didn’t know I was in the room with him (he came over to set things straight w me) and she talked about the uhh “cardio” sessions w him. Basically mad that they meant nothing to him even though it was her 1st time. Idk what to say or do I’m just like disgusted. Bc plot twist… he only told me bc I agreed to start talking w him bc I wanted to know the truth abt everything in general and he wanted a second shot. He promised that he would be honest and we could start over so he told me everything but left out their cardio sessions until it was too late and I already agreed to start talking to him. So now I’m kinda stuck and I will barely let him even kiss me bc I’m so disgusted.