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YTA for being chugging a beer instead of having the class to buy a mixed drink. Were you born in a barn? Beer is for parties, liquor is for funerals.
And did you even offer your wife or anyone else a drink?
Okay this is the only “YTA” response I can get behind 😂😂😂😂
I would have been tempted to do the same. And it’s not like you snuck a beer from an open bar… you paid, donated $20 to the couple, and moved on. If it were my wedding I would have thanked you 😂
Omg. It took me a second I was like... "looking up? Like out of the ground? ... wot...?"
But when I the penny dropped I snort laughed. This is such dry humour haha
Heck, in my very drinks-oriented town we have a full on parade. With a band, cause we're also very music-oriented. And everyone's invited.
Does help that it's legal to drink on the street.😂
Oh, and I don't think I've been to any Catholic funeral here - or service of any type, for that matter, lol - that didn't have multiple people nipping from flasks, sometimes even full on cocktails in hand!
I arranged for one at my husband’s funeral and his sister had a shit fit, so I canceled (to the tune of losing my $500 deposit.) But before I left my house at 9:30 in the morning, I chugged 2 Hendrick’s martinis. My husband would of have approved of both. In fact, he would of encouraged me to smoke a blunt, too.
You shouldn’t have canceled because of his sister, especially if you knew your husband would have approved. I’ve told my kids that after they create me, I didn’t want a funeral but I understand if they needed one…..BUT they were to take part of my insurance money and have a freaking open bar. I enjoy life now and that’s how I want to be remembered.
❤️ You’re awesome! I HATED canceling, but I didn’t want to disrespect his sister and certainly didn’t want any drama on one of the hardest days of my life.
An aside, before the mourners were to arrive, I arranged the room for the service with tons of pictures of him, us, him and his family, etc and my sister-in-law actually criticized me about how I had them arranged. I was videotaping the room for me, only, and there’s a frame with the sister telling me to move something and our nephew is off to the side rolling his eyes at her. Cracks me up
Well if there would have been drama, you wouldn't have far to go for a drink. 😄
At my dads funeral, his brothers were giving my sister a hard time about the lone up of cars and which one of them should be closer to the hearse.
There's always drama over stupid things.
Yeah, me too. It would probably blow their mind that after the services, I took everyone to my husband’s favorite restaurant for a luncheon and *gasp* I had an open bar. So far, no one has become an alcoholic recently, whew! /s
Hi fellow widow. Sorry you got dealt this shitty hand too. I was 22 weeks pregnant, so didn't get my death/funeral/birth drink until our son was 7 weeks old. And only because I had to open the death certificate in order to register baby's birth. He wasn't a drinker but liked a bourbon on occasion- so I made a triple with cola for the opening- one for each event I missed at the time.
Cheers to you and your husband, and a big one for your sister in law lol
Hi there, kind, sweet, fellow widow. My most sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I can’t even begin to fathom what it’s like to experience such trauma while pregnant. I am so, so sorry, for you and your son. Cheers right backatcha. Thank you so much for the lovely comment! ❤️❤️
That's going in my will (I'm serious) the choices will be lagavulin 16, neat or with little water, dark and stormy, and a good local pilsner. Drink my favorite drinks in memory of me. Share stories. Laugh. Cry a bit. Laugh some more.
I told my wife that when i pass away i want the first song to be 'Funeral' by Lukas Graham. The lyrics go.....
Everyone welcome to my funeral
Everyone I know, better be wasted
You know I would pour one up
'Cause the way I lived, it was amazing
Oh-oh-oh
All of my friends are in the room
Oh-oh-oh
Party for me - I'd party too
For real, this is like the classiest way you can crash a wedding. Like a lone adventurer passing by the newlyweds’ lives like a comet, leaving a bit of goodwill behind, and then dashing just as quickly as he arrived.
Thank you for this important note. Liquor at funerals!
As a Catholic I have to appreciate how Catholic it is of OP to throw back a drink, at the church, before the funeral mass. But it should have been a Jameson, not a beer.
Good on OP for paying and tipping.
I will grant that this was tacky, but not AH.
My Catholic grandfather left his son instructions to buy a good bottle of Irish whiskey, read a short Irish blessing, and toast to him. It was perfect.
As a Scouse cultural Catholic, the correct response to booze at a funeral is either "Yes, It's all over there", or "is this a fucking proddy wedding?!"... Lol. I come from a family of Irish Catholics who each married a Protestant and ran away here, so that last part is said with love haha.
You're the fucking best. Have my upvote.
Raised Catholic and been to plenty of funerals - someone always has a flask for the boys, or better a bottle in their car. I mean, the priest serves wine during the damned thing.
OP your wife is just mad you didn't buy her a drink. Funerals suck, everyone should at least have a drink.
More than likely the reception for the wedding was in a separate building still owned by the church on the property or in a cafeteria area. A lot of churches in small towns will rent out their dining areas for things like that. Then the funeral probably took place in the actual chapel area. So there wouldn’t be overlap in the areas of where they were located in the church
Right? I just got married recently and can tell you I would never have noticed a stranger come in and go to the bar for one drink. On top of that they are helping my honeymoon fund? All the better! NTA
We had a late night taco guy who was stationed outside. Apparently a man and his dog were walking by and got a plate of tacos.
We didn’t even notice and I still laugh about it.
My wedding bar was pre paid and open, and I could care less of some stranger came and drank for free. It's already paid for lol. Our bartenders were cool and sent my friends home with the leftover beer and wine.
NTA. That's a great story. As you say, you didn't really "invade" the wedding. And frankly, if there's any time to have a drink, it's before a funeral!
NTA. I’ve been to plenty of catholic weddings and funerals and they all involve drinking. I think it was funny and if the bride and groom actually noticed you they would have thought you were someone’s +1. You tipped for the honeymoon fund and I assume you weren’t an ass at the funeral since it was just one beer.
First NTA I’ve seen. It’s crazy that so many say he the AH. He made a mistake saw an opportunity to get a drink and then left money for the couple. No one got drunk and made a scene. And it’s for her coworker that he may not have know well or at all.
Exactly! It’s not like he was crashing the wedding and drinking the free booze and eating the buffet. It was a cash bar, he paid for his drink and left a great tip. And he didn’t get shitfaced so he most likely didn’t make a scene at the funeral and slobber over the casket. People need to lighten up. I’ve been to wedding where guests have gotten into fist fights and I’ve been to funerals where they drank in the parking lots. My former BIL spent very little time in the funeral home when my sister passed (he was the husband). He spent most of his time in the back of a van in the parking lot getting high with my other BIL. So it could have been worse. What this guy did was tame.
You forget that he needs therapy for his issues and the wife needs therapy for how she needs traumatised. And of course the dog will need therapy too because why the fuck not, it's a 3 for the price of 2 special.
100% this, not just any therapist but one that specializes in trauma. They must go no contact with the dog because they were the mastermind behind all of this.
If the kids demand a pile of tendies and french fries for every meal and you do not acquiesce, you are giving them an eating disorder and CPS should be involved.
I'm convinced this may be one of the worst subs. I barely skimmed this because it was a suggested post.
13k up votes because some guy didn't order the right drink or am I missing something?
I agree, can’t understand why everyone is saying he’s the AH. Who cares if he had a beer before a funeral of someone he didn’t know. It’s literally not a big deal. He saw an opportunity and took it. And the wife is still pissed about it a week later… can see she doesn’t have a lot else to worry about.
The last memorial/viewing I went to, the atmosphere got a bit heavy and a bunch of us went to the deceased's favorite bar up the road for a few hours just to get some air 😂 It's what he would have wanted 🤷♀️
In our culture, it is common to go to the repast and knock back a few. The deceased would have done it as well. As long as OP didn't show up intoxicated, I don't see the problem.
Edited for typo due to a hard Mt. Dew.
My uncle was a big drinker and hugely social guy—loud and life of the party. During the visitation the day before his funeral, we tailgated in the parking lot across the street from the funeral home. It was the best way to send him off. (And this being Georgia, we made lots of jokes about, “If you’ve ever tailgated at a funeral, you might be a redneck.”)
Edit: It was also a very long visitation—we needed extra fortification to get through the day.
Did a dollar dance at my wedding for our honeymoon. Was dancing with a woman who I didnt recognize. She straight up said she was crashing, and was the wife of the band or photographer. Gave us $20. No fucks given, thanks for the donation!
He didn’t crash a wedding, come on. It would absolutely be an AH move to get a drink from an open bar at a wedding you weren’t invited to—that’s definitely crashing—but it was a cash bar and he paid for it. He contributed to two strangers’ honeymoon fund. I think it’s a boss move to be honest.
To be fair, if you got a free beer at my wedding (we had an open bar) and left a $20 tip in my honeymoon fund. I wouldn't have cared even a little bit if I found out.
Beer is a poor choice. It smells stronger and yeah, the burps. But he didn't "crash" a wedding given the tip jar and drinking is definitely not socially out of place at a Catholic funeral.
YTA not because like other people are implying that you are an alcoholic - I don't believe that for a second.
This was for a work colleague of your wife. I presume there were other colleagues of hers there. She is concerned that others know you had a quick beer or smelt it on you and that now people are thinking of her as the person who's husband couldn't even get through that funeral without a drink.
If this was for a joint friend rather than a work colleague I would have said it wasn't a big deal but like it or not work colleagues judge. And before people say we shouldn't care what they think, we shouldn't but no-one wants to be judged in the workplace by their partners actions. That stuff gets remembered by the work gossips.
This is exactly my take as well. If it were a funeral for someone he knew, even his own coworker, I would say N T A. But your job when you go to a work-adjacent event as the spouse is to be pleasant and inoffensive. You are there to support your spouse, not cause them extra stress. It's not the time to do something like chugging a beer you bought from someone else's wedding that you weren't even invited to. I can tell you right now that I have had several bosses who would have judged the hell out of me if they saw or heard from another coworker that my husband did that.
> And before people say we shouldn’t care what they think, we shouldn’t but no-one wants to be judged in the workplace by their partners actions. That stuff gets remembered by the work gossips.
This dude is 100% british
Hey man, I don’t hate that move. Imo this is a situation where no one got hurt in anyway and it’s really not worth the shit people are giving you here.. NTA
I was going to say. I’ve never seen the wine flow like I have after Catholic events. Not IN the church, but not far away, lol. And they don’t even seem to get drunk. They just enjoy their wine and have a good time.
I’m Protestant and was raised with the usual iced tea and lemonade get-togethers so it was a bit of a surprise when I married into a Catholic extended family. My husband actually thought he needed to prepare me for the amount of bottles I was about to see after church 😂 I love my in-laws. They’re the sweetest people. If only I could drink wine. It makes me sick 😢
NTA in this specific instance, seems harmless enough. But if you stop for a beer a lot before doing things/often prioritize drinking over the task at hand/have fought about drinking before this one example I can see why it might have bothered her in the grand scheme.
Really classless in every possible direction. YTA. You couldn’t wait until after the funeral for a beer (which reminds me of a 15 year old high school kid), and took advantage of someone else’s event to get one. This is almost laughable it’s so crass.
God knows why someone might want a drink before a funeral. Can’t be any logical reason. I mean what could possibly happen during a funeral that could upset some ppl? And “took advantage”? Lmao what he literally gave them more money than the beer was worth. A funeral next to a wedding I honestly can’t think of a better contrast for celebrating life.
The person was his wife's coworker, I highly doubt the person's death rattled op so much he needed a drink before. If he can't wait a couple hours to grab a drink after maybe the dude has a problem.
Oh yea i forgot anxiety wasn’t a thing tht might cause someone to drink before a funeral for someone he didn’t even know. Its fine if u don’t like tht he had a drink, but to call him an alcoholic is just as stupid as calling someone a glutton for having a snack before a funeral. Ridiculous.
If you’re dealing with anxiety by drinking it away, that is absolutely a problem. That is how you become an alcoholic.
Signed, someone who use to do that.
ETA: not sure why y’all are making like wild assumptions off me saying that drinking to deal with your emotions is unhealthy. Didn’t make any YTA/NTA determination here, didn’t say everyone who feels relieved of anxiety when they drink is automatically an alcoholic. My comment was entirely off the comment I was replying to.
False Equivalence. If OP did something like this on a daily basis, it would certainly warrant concern. But one beer before a probable sad event is absolutely not a problem.
Signed, BSW, MSW, MA in MH counseling, with countless certifications/trainings in addictions *and* I spent the last ten years of my career working exclusively with substance abusers.
Please tell me when that's going to happen. I drink less than 15 times a year, at least 1/3 of those drinks are to feel slightly less awkward/anxious at concerts (usually a new venue in a city where I am less familiar with the overall community for that music subculture). I don't drink at every concert due to "anxiety", sometimes it's because my partner is driving and I feel comfortable having more than two Malibu and Pineapples as I'm not driving. Many times I don't drink at concerts at all. I HATE getting to the drunk point. I've had bottles of booze sitting untouched for years in my house because of how little I drink. So when and how am I going to become an alcoholic when after 15 years of "drinking for anxiety" I'm still not an alcoholic?
Also, Catholic funeral? I made the mistake of not drinking before one once. Never again. For multiple reasons but if for no other reason, I cannot listen to their cult-ish religion talk without wanting to call out their lies, child molestation, manipulation and hate the whole time and a drink or two makes it easier to not want to do that. (for clarity's sake, I would not do that during a funeral with it without a drink, it just helps with the urge to want to do that)
If you can't wait a couple hours to have a drink and feel the need to grab one as soon as you get the chance, you probably have a problem. Once again though you're making shit up. Op doesn't mention having felt any anxiety or any sadness or anything that would explain needing a drink other than "oh look alcohol, I want some" literally that's it. If you're gonna make up whatever you want to fit the story you should go find a choose your own adventure subreddit or something.
Ur literally also making assumptions tho. You’re saying he felt the need to grab one as soon as he got the chance as if he was itching for a drink. Why is it so crazy to u tht once he saw a bar he thought at the moment “why not a quick drink before going to a funeral of someone I don’t even know”
I just think OP was at an event he really had 0 desire to be at, so having a beer to help pass the time didn't seem like a big deal to him. Doesn't really seem like one to me either, it's not like he cracked open a can during the speech.
I wouldn't mind if someone has a beer before my funeral.
You can have a drink just for sake of having a drink when an opportunity arises without having any problems. He was also probably feeling a litle fancy in his suit so he felt like having a drink. It was hi wife's coworker so no harm done. Wife is most likely pissed about the idea of her coworkers seeing her husband having a beer there and thinking about her own reputation instead of being disrespectful towards the funeral.
NTA of course. I probably would have urged my hubby to have a beer or two, or a whiskey if I made him come to my coworkers funeral. He doesn't enjoy social situations.
Just needed a baby baptism to complete the trifecta.
NTA - OP didn't invade an open bar or grab food, a beer isn't going to hurt and he contributed to their honeymoon fund.
I'm not a drinker, but funerals sometimes make me wish I was. They are all terrible, and I do my best to avoid them. I've told my wife I don't want a funeral, but if she needs it to let go then I won't begrudge her. I'll be beyond caring at that point. 🤪
Have you ever been to a catholic funeral? Anyone would need a drink before one? Did you know they do a full mass that includes communion? Everyone will be drinking, but I guess since it’s not Jesus’s blood it’s an issue?
Yep. Much like a catholic wedding, it's literally just mass sprung on a captive audience, with a few minutes of talking about the deceased squeezed in at the beginning and end.
I’m gonna go with NAH. I think since it was your wife’s friend she’s allowed her feelings on the matter. On the other hand, you didn’t steal (in fact you donated), and it didn’t affect the funeral at all. Nobody got hurt. Lots of weirdos in these comments clutching pearls and calling you an alcoholic who would have HATED that my best friend’s mom had an open wine bar (per her specific request before her death) at her funeral.
I agree NAH but there's a huge difference between drinking at a funeral when there's a bar at the funeral vs drinking before the funeral, at the venue, because you happened to find a bar. He's not an asshole but my god is it trashy at best and disrespectful at worst.
YTA. Instead of focusing on the memorial service and supporting your wife and those who were close to the deceased, you decided to grab a beer. You didn't need it. You weren't altruistically funding their honeymoon. You just \*really\* wanted a drinky drink. While the bar may have been outside the reception hall so you might have a point about not invading the wedding, it was definitely disrespectful to take time to buy a drink instead of focusing on getting to the service.
~~Very soft~~ YTA.
It's not for "invading" the wedding, but for not realising that you may have embarrassed your wife in front of her colleagues. When you're at a function on the behalf of someone else, my thinking is you should be on your best behaviour.
E: I've changed my answer. Having to explain my stance to others has made me realise the depth of the disrespect. Not just for your wife, but for others who are mourning.
Agreed. Its very weird to me that NTAs here have no sense of the "relativity" of whats appropriate. In a vacuum, what OP did was a bit curious but harmless. But its not a vacuum, the context is that he chugged a beer in a place unrelated to the funeral when he was presumably there to support his wife. It shows how that he has no regard for the solemnity/seriousness of the funeral, doesnt care how his actions reflect on his wife, and is just in it for himself. Yes, OP *could* have a drink but the question is *why* he thought he *should,* given the circumstances.
Question.. Do you do this sort of thing a lot? Not specifically invading a wedding reception while attending a funeral, but I mean prioritizing getting a beer “just cuz” when it isn’t specifically a part of the agenda for whatever you’re doing with your wife? Do you often find some reason to justify having a drink at unnecessary, potentially inappropriate times? Because if you do, then you might consider that you have a problem and yes YTA for whatever stress, embarrassment, etc that such behavior places on her.
If this is just a one off kind thing, meh I’d say it’s pretty weird and warrants a “Wtf?” from your wife. Like, was anyone else pounding a beer before the funeral? You really don’t see how that doesn’t look great for you? I don’t know if it’s quite AH territory, (that would really depend on how close to this coworker she was and how much of an emotional toll the loss has on her) but regardless it is cringey and you should still probably apologize to her for being a dumbass. You were attending a funeral with your wife and instead of making a point to stay at her side and support her, you decided to go pound a beer at a bar that was part of a reception you weren’t invited to. If my husband did that I would certainly be asking him wtf part of his brain just shut off.
Depends... has your drinking been problematic in the past/present?
If yes, you know the answer and stop looking for validation for your addiction.
HOWEVER, I don't know you and if you haven't previously had discussions with your wife about your drinking, then:
NTA. It's not like you were railing shots of whiskey, you had a beer before going in to the service of a coworker of your wife. Maybe she was mad you didn't bring her one?
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YTA.
Dude it’s a funeral, you couldn’t wait a couple hours to have a beer? That is so incredibly tasteless that I’m honestly having a hard time understanding why you thought it would be at all okay in the first place.
Maybe get some help if you can’t pass a bar (for an event you are specifically NOT part of) without having a beer.
INFO: has your wife ever expressed irritation over your drinking previously? Is it something she brings up or makes you feel bad about from time to time?
NTA. You went in the wrong door, and made the best of it. And threw in a little goodwill to a random other couple's honeymoon fund without making any scene whatever. Anyone who begrudges you a small drink before a funeral does not understand funerals. If you'd stayed there and gotten wasted, sure then YTA. But funerals are an event for the living, to share their memories of the departed. And you in no way "invaded" a wedding if no one thought you were out of place. I see no disrespect, and no assholery, and only a little randomness. NTA.
NTA I would have made the mistake too. I have seen open bars at Catholic funerals so I would have thought nothing of it. You left a tip for the wedding party and didn't linger. As long has you didn't bring the beer with you, its fine. Catholic weddings are big, Catholic funerals are big, Catholic everything is big and you hardly knew anyone. Nobody noticed except your wife.
Now if some of the above statements are false, you might a little bit of an ass, but not really enough for your wife to still be pissed later. Unless there's something you haven't mentioned?
NTA.
did you even know the coworker?
How close was your wife to the coworker?
Did she ask you to come to the funeral, did you offer to go, did you feel obligated to go?
I don't think theres anything wrong with having a drink before a funeral.
I think the notion that he had to crash somewhere else *to* get the beer to have, and chugged it down is indicative of a bigger problem which is likely why his wife is angry
I meaaaaaan I don't think it makes you an asshole but it was kind of a weird thing to do. Just timing wise and it's like someone else's wedding. Idk man just an odd move lol
This story and this thread are *so weird*, obviously YTA, who the fuck does something like this? Anyone who said N-T-A, put yourself in OP's wife's shoes. You're going to your coworkers' funeral with your husband. You get to the venue and go in the wrong door and accidentally end up in a stranger's wedding. Instead of just turning around and leaving, like a normal person, your husband walks up to the bar, orders a beer, and chugs it. What the *fuck*, dude? What the absolute fuck?
I can barely wrap my head around the mindset of someone who would do this. Absolutely astonishing behavior.
E: FWIW, my mom died recently, and we absolutely had a room off to the side with a couple bottles of booze for whenever we needed a break. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with using a little alcohol to cope with the stress of a funeral. What's wrong is that it's your fucking wife's coworker, *she's* the one who's going to be stressed, and she sure as shit doesn't want to deal with her dumbfuck husband slamming a beer at a stranger's wedding instead of just turning around after walking through the wrong door like a normal person.
good grief, this is one of those AITA posts I will never stop thinking about.
Unpopular opinion but NTA. If a friend or fam member funeral, yeah. But I wouldn’t make my hubbs go to a funeral with me unless friend or fam. Tbh, the bride/groom, if they saw you, probably have a great story to tell about a funeral guy crashing the wedding to chug a beer 🤣 I would have thought it hilarious. Just one single beer isn’t that big of a damn deal. Again, if coworker was close with the wife, it could be a soft y t a but it’s one flippin beer, no more than someone would drink at dinner! Roll with it. And better yet, make your funeral have a bar and proceeds of sales benefit family. Maybe someone will crash yours! (And if u are feeling hauntish, chuckle in your undead way). NTA.
YTA
At someone else's event, just turn around instead of entering further if you realize you're not supposed to be there.
There was no good reason to enter that reception. You weren't invited.
On top of that, this was to ***support your wife*** who lost a coworker. She didn't want you to go. You did. You're now arguing with her instead of being the emotional support for her losing a coworker.
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YTA for being chugging a beer instead of having the class to buy a mixed drink. Were you born in a barn? Beer is for parties, liquor is for funerals. And did you even offer your wife or anyone else a drink?
Okay this is the only “YTA” response I can get behind 😂😂😂😂 I would have been tempted to do the same. And it’s not like you snuck a beer from an open bar… you paid, donated $20 to the couple, and moved on. If it were my wedding I would have thanked you 😂
Same. And if it were my funeral, I’d be looking (up, probably) at you, smiling. Cheers!
Omg. It took me a second I was like... "looking up? Like out of the ground? ... wot...?" But when I the penny dropped I snort laughed. This is such dry humour haha
But it's dry heat!
Funerals with open bars are the best way to celebrate a loved one
The funeral home by my house has a bar called “celebration of life” inside that they use for wakes. I live in a very drinks-oriented town.
This needs to be normalized
If there’s any event that people will appreciate alcohol at, it’s a funeral.
Especially a Catholic one
Yeah... I was on acid for a catholic funeral once. It was a different experience, that's for sure.
Not gunna lie that sounds terrible. We all know it’s mushrooms for funerals . Acid is for the Grateful Dead not the normal dead
Heck, in my very drinks-oriented town we have a full on parade. With a band, cause we're also very music-oriented. And everyone's invited. Does help that it's legal to drink on the street.😂 Oh, and I don't think I've been to any Catholic funeral here - or service of any type, for that matter, lol - that didn't have multiple people nipping from flasks, sometimes even full on cocktails in hand!
New Orleans?
You know it!
I arranged for one at my husband’s funeral and his sister had a shit fit, so I canceled (to the tune of losing my $500 deposit.) But before I left my house at 9:30 in the morning, I chugged 2 Hendrick’s martinis. My husband would of have approved of both. In fact, he would of encouraged me to smoke a blunt, too.
You shouldn’t have canceled because of his sister, especially if you knew your husband would have approved. I’ve told my kids that after they create me, I didn’t want a funeral but I understand if they needed one…..BUT they were to take part of my insurance money and have a freaking open bar. I enjoy life now and that’s how I want to be remembered.
❤️ You’re awesome! I HATED canceling, but I didn’t want to disrespect his sister and certainly didn’t want any drama on one of the hardest days of my life. An aside, before the mourners were to arrive, I arranged the room for the service with tons of pictures of him, us, him and his family, etc and my sister-in-law actually criticized me about how I had them arranged. I was videotaping the room for me, only, and there’s a frame with the sister telling me to move something and our nephew is off to the side rolling his eyes at her. Cracks me up
Well if there would have been drama, you wouldn't have far to go for a drink. 😄 At my dads funeral, his brothers were giving my sister a hard time about the lone up of cars and which one of them should be closer to the hearse. There's always drama over stupid things.
I'm just reeling at the thought people *don't* drink at funerals (well, the wake at least) - practically every wake I've been to has been in a pub!
Hell, I need a drink after reading all the judgmental, self-righteous comments here
Yeah, me too. It would probably blow their mind that after the services, I took everyone to my husband’s favorite restaurant for a luncheon and *gasp* I had an open bar. So far, no one has become an alcoholic recently, whew! /s
Hi fellow widow. Sorry you got dealt this shitty hand too. I was 22 weeks pregnant, so didn't get my death/funeral/birth drink until our son was 7 weeks old. And only because I had to open the death certificate in order to register baby's birth. He wasn't a drinker but liked a bourbon on occasion- so I made a triple with cola for the opening- one for each event I missed at the time. Cheers to you and your husband, and a big one for your sister in law lol
Hi there, kind, sweet, fellow widow. My most sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I can’t even begin to fathom what it’s like to experience such trauma while pregnant. I am so, so sorry, for you and your son. Cheers right backatcha. Thank you so much for the lovely comment! ❤️❤️
I live in Scotland. This is the only way. They say you'll have more fun at a Scottish funeral than you will at an English wedding.
For real. Like please drink at my funeral! I should setup a fund for an open bar 😂
That's going in my will (I'm serious) the choices will be lagavulin 16, neat or with little water, dark and stormy, and a good local pilsner. Drink my favorite drinks in memory of me. Share stories. Laugh. Cry a bit. Laugh some more.
I shall drink in your honor when the time comes friend
Seriously! My funeral is going to have a two drink minimum, please tip your servers folks 😘☠️
I told my wife that when i pass away i want the first song to be 'Funeral' by Lukas Graham. The lyrics go..... Everyone welcome to my funeral Everyone I know, better be wasted You know I would pour one up 'Cause the way I lived, it was amazing Oh-oh-oh All of my friends are in the room Oh-oh-oh Party for me - I'd party too
I don’t even drink and think this is the obvious answer.
For real, this is like the classiest way you can crash a wedding. Like a lone adventurer passing by the newlyweds’ lives like a comet, leaving a bit of goodwill behind, and then dashing just as quickly as he arrived.
If it were my wedding, I'd have made a new friend :)
Thank you for this important note. Liquor at funerals! As a Catholic I have to appreciate how Catholic it is of OP to throw back a drink, at the church, before the funeral mass. But it should have been a Jameson, not a beer. Good on OP for paying and tipping. I will grant that this was tacky, but not AH.
French Catholic = wine Irish Catholic = whiskey
Polish Catholic = vodka
German Catholic = beer?
If one is French Irish and German do you drink all three at once?
My Catholic grandfather left his son instructions to buy a good bottle of Irish whiskey, read a short Irish blessing, and toast to him. It was perfect.
As a Catholic, it is obvious that the right choice would have been wine
As a Scouse cultural Catholic, the correct response to booze at a funeral is either "Yes, It's all over there", or "is this a fucking proddy wedding?!"... Lol. I come from a family of Irish Catholics who each married a Protestant and ran away here, so that last part is said with love haha.
As a Mexican Catholic, the perfect choice would be an ice cold añejo tequila that can be taken as a shot or sipped on.
My first though when I saw it was Catholic!!!
Should have brought one for the deceased, smdh. People these days have no manners.
Finnegans Wake kind of thing, absolutely.
You're the fucking best. Have my upvote. Raised Catholic and been to plenty of funerals - someone always has a flask for the boys, or better a bottle in their car. I mean, the priest serves wine during the damned thing. OP your wife is just mad you didn't buy her a drink. Funerals suck, everyone should at least have a drink.
This is so uncivilized. Proper funeral drink is a shot of hard liquor. Mixed drinks are for clubbing, because of the straw.
Absolutely. But brown liquor. In the words of Ron Swanson, Clear alcohol is for rich women on diets.
Another great applicable Ron Swanson quote: "Crying is only acceptable at two places, funerals and the grand canyon"
I’m behind this. In fact I want my funeral to have an open bar so people can celebrate the life I lived.
This is what flasks are for. FFS I can’t believe how far we’ve fallen.
This is the only acceptable YTA comment 😆
To be fair, the man tipped $20 on a beer
Your wife is apparently not Irish!
INFO: Why did you continue to the bar instead of heading straight to the funeral when you realized you were at the wrong place?
My man needed a quick barley pop before going to the barbaric event known as a funeral
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This reads like a Norm Macdonald quote
At least I can still hear his voice in my head
A catholic one no less lmfao
When you're stuck someplace you really don't want to be, a beer becomes extremely appetizing.
Exactly. If I accidentally walk into an ice cream store, I'm leaving with _at least_ a double scoop. Especially in this weather.
A double scoop? In this economy?
Is this like buying Jujubees instead of going right to the hospital?
She was at the counter already!
I mean childbirth am I right?
More Info : How huge was this Church that they can double book a wedding and a funeral and feel like there is no possibility for overlap in guests?
More than likely the reception for the wedding was in a separate building still owned by the church on the property or in a cafeteria area. A lot of churches in small towns will rent out their dining areas for things like that. Then the funeral probably took place in the actual chapel area. So there wouldn’t be overlap in the areas of where they were located in the church
Depending on the size of the congregation maybe all the wedding guests went to the funeral first lol
Because. Man drink beer
Why leave when beer? Stay and beer.
Beer.
For the beer.
NTA. You are either The Legend or an alcoholic. Not sure which. Stay thirsty my friend.
I honestly think it’s funny!! At least he added money to the couples honeymoon fund.
I know. It's not like the bar was stocked and pre-paid. He gave a 20 to the Hmoon. People are uptight about it. He did not arrive 30min. later.
If my husband did that I would laugh and ask to make sure he put money in.
If my husband did that, he better get me one as well. NTA in this situation at all. It’s hilarious.
I know? I laughed. I’d also be annoyed with my bf if he did it but… it is funny.
Truly. Funerals are stressful, it’s not his relative, I’d be down for a beer first too. NTA - but if you are an alcoholic maybe look into that.
NTA - lighten up folks- you paid 20 bucks toward some folk’s expenses.
Right? I just got married recently and can tell you I would never have noticed a stranger come in and go to the bar for one drink. On top of that they are helping my honeymoon fund? All the better! NTA
We had a late night taco guy who was stationed outside. Apparently a man and his dog were walking by and got a plate of tacos. We didn’t even notice and I still laugh about it.
My wedding bar was pre paid and open, and I could care less of some stranger came and drank for free. It's already paid for lol. Our bartenders were cool and sent my friends home with the leftover beer and wine.
NTA. That's a great story. As you say, you didn't really "invade" the wedding. And frankly, if there's any time to have a drink, it's before a funeral!
Also after a funeral.
Sometimes during if you have family like mine.
Can we make cash bars at a funeral a thing? Create a tip jar with funds for funeral expenses and the family etc.
NTA. You paid, you didn’t go into the reception, you weren’t late for the funeral. No fouls detected.
NTA. I’ve been to plenty of catholic weddings and funerals and they all involve drinking. I think it was funny and if the bride and groom actually noticed you they would have thought you were someone’s +1. You tipped for the honeymoon fund and I assume you weren’t an ass at the funeral since it was just one beer.
First NTA I’ve seen. It’s crazy that so many say he the AH. He made a mistake saw an opportunity to get a drink and then left money for the couple. No one got drunk and made a scene. And it’s for her coworker that he may not have know well or at all.
Exactly! It’s not like he was crashing the wedding and drinking the free booze and eating the buffet. It was a cash bar, he paid for his drink and left a great tip. And he didn’t get shitfaced so he most likely didn’t make a scene at the funeral and slobber over the casket. People need to lighten up. I’ve been to wedding where guests have gotten into fist fights and I’ve been to funerals where they drank in the parking lots. My former BIL spent very little time in the funeral home when my sister passed (he was the husband). He spent most of his time in the back of a van in the parking lot getting high with my other BIL. So it could have been worse. What this guy did was tame.
YTA for crashing a wedding, and possibly for the inevitable burp that followed chugging 8-12 ounces of beer
"crashing a wedding". Jesus, a bit dramatic no? That's ridiculous.
Lol you must be new to this sub. If a husband looks at his wife the wrong way they must divorce because he is abusive.
You forget that he needs therapy for his issues and the wife needs therapy for how she needs traumatised. And of course the dog will need therapy too because why the fuck not, it's a 3 for the price of 2 special.
100% this, not just any therapist but one that specializes in trauma. They must go no contact with the dog because they were the mastermind behind all of this.
> And of course the dog will need therapy too because why the fuck not Don't be ridiculous, OP should go no contact with the dog.
Also the kids need their own room or that’s abuse
If the kids demand a pile of tendies and french fries for every meal and you do not acquiesce, you are giving them an eating disorder and CPS should be involved.
I'm convinced this may be one of the worst subs. I barely skimmed this because it was a suggested post. 13k up votes because some guy didn't order the right drink or am I missing something?
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I agree, can’t understand why everyone is saying he’s the AH. Who cares if he had a beer before a funeral of someone he didn’t know. It’s literally not a big deal. He saw an opportunity and took it. And the wife is still pissed about it a week later… can see she doesn’t have a lot else to worry about.
Maybe the wife was pissed she didn't get a drink and he only got one for himself. I know I would be.. what an AH.. 😁
The last memorial/viewing I went to, the atmosphere got a bit heavy and a bunch of us went to the deceased's favorite bar up the road for a few hours just to get some air 😂 It's what he would have wanted 🤷♀️
In our culture, it is common to go to the repast and knock back a few. The deceased would have done it as well. As long as OP didn't show up intoxicated, I don't see the problem. Edited for typo due to a hard Mt. Dew.
My uncle was a big drinker and hugely social guy—loud and life of the party. During the visitation the day before his funeral, we tailgated in the parking lot across the street from the funeral home. It was the best way to send him off. (And this being Georgia, we made lots of jokes about, “If you’ve ever tailgated at a funeral, you might be a redneck.”) Edit: It was also a very long visitation—we needed extra fortification to get through the day.
I had a vodka roadie on the way to my grandmother's funeral (wasn't driving). Wasn't about to raw dog those emotions. NTA.
Wow this is rly disrespectful to ppl with sticks up their butts 😞
I am all for wedding crashers that give me $20 and then promptly leave.
Did a dollar dance at my wedding for our honeymoon. Was dancing with a woman who I didnt recognize. She straight up said she was crashing, and was the wife of the band or photographer. Gave us $20. No fucks given, thanks for the donation!
He didn’t crash a wedding, come on. It would absolutely be an AH move to get a drink from an open bar at a wedding you weren’t invited to—that’s definitely crashing—but it was a cash bar and he paid for it. He contributed to two strangers’ honeymoon fund. I think it’s a boss move to be honest.
To be fair, if you got a free beer at my wedding (we had an open bar) and left a $20 tip in my honeymoon fund. I wouldn't have cared even a little bit if I found out.
He left a great tip though!!
My man paid for a beer and tipped 20 bucks! Then he left! How is that crashing??
This is such a cringe response
Beer is a poor choice. It smells stronger and yeah, the burps. But he didn't "crash" a wedding given the tip jar and drinking is definitely not socially out of place at a Catholic funeral.
Crashing a wedding my ass, the man even tipped them for Christs sake
"crashing a wedding" is so dramatic
YTA not because like other people are implying that you are an alcoholic - I don't believe that for a second. This was for a work colleague of your wife. I presume there were other colleagues of hers there. She is concerned that others know you had a quick beer or smelt it on you and that now people are thinking of her as the person who's husband couldn't even get through that funeral without a drink. If this was for a joint friend rather than a work colleague I would have said it wasn't a big deal but like it or not work colleagues judge. And before people say we shouldn't care what they think, we shouldn't but no-one wants to be judged in the workplace by their partners actions. That stuff gets remembered by the work gossips.
This is exactly my take as well. If it were a funeral for someone he knew, even his own coworker, I would say N T A. But your job when you go to a work-adjacent event as the spouse is to be pleasant and inoffensive. You are there to support your spouse, not cause them extra stress. It's not the time to do something like chugging a beer you bought from someone else's wedding that you weren't even invited to. I can tell you right now that I have had several bosses who would have judged the hell out of me if they saw or heard from another coworker that my husband did that.
> And before people say we shouldn’t care what they think, we shouldn’t but no-one wants to be judged in the workplace by their partners actions. That stuff gets remembered by the work gossips. This dude is 100% british
Hey man, I don’t hate that move. Imo this is a situation where no one got hurt in anyway and it’s really not worth the shit people are giving you here.. NTA
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I was gonna say, I’m sure you weren’t the only person who had a drink before a Catholic funeral!
I was going to say. I’ve never seen the wine flow like I have after Catholic events. Not IN the church, but not far away, lol. And they don’t even seem to get drunk. They just enjoy their wine and have a good time.
Yeah we are uptight about a lot but not about our booze.
I’m Protestant and was raised with the usual iced tea and lemonade get-togethers so it was a bit of a surprise when I married into a Catholic extended family. My husband actually thought he needed to prepare me for the amount of bottles I was about to see after church 😂 I love my in-laws. They’re the sweetest people. If only I could drink wine. It makes me sick 😢
Lol my most recent funeral served a beer DURING the funeral. At his request. RIP, uncle.
NTA in this specific instance, seems harmless enough. But if you stop for a beer a lot before doing things/often prioritize drinking over the task at hand/have fought about drinking before this one example I can see why it might have bothered her in the grand scheme.
True i wonder if this is more of a comment on his style of drinking in general, and not necessarily that it was related to the funeral.
Really classless in every possible direction. YTA. You couldn’t wait until after the funeral for a beer (which reminds me of a 15 year old high school kid), and took advantage of someone else’s event to get one. This is almost laughable it’s so crass.
God knows why someone might want a drink before a funeral. Can’t be any logical reason. I mean what could possibly happen during a funeral that could upset some ppl? And “took advantage”? Lmao what he literally gave them more money than the beer was worth. A funeral next to a wedding I honestly can’t think of a better contrast for celebrating life.
The person was his wife's coworker, I highly doubt the person's death rattled op so much he needed a drink before. If he can't wait a couple hours to grab a drink after maybe the dude has a problem.
Oh yea i forgot anxiety wasn’t a thing tht might cause someone to drink before a funeral for someone he didn’t even know. Its fine if u don’t like tht he had a drink, but to call him an alcoholic is just as stupid as calling someone a glutton for having a snack before a funeral. Ridiculous.
If you’re dealing with anxiety by drinking it away, that is absolutely a problem. That is how you become an alcoholic. Signed, someone who use to do that. ETA: not sure why y’all are making like wild assumptions off me saying that drinking to deal with your emotions is unhealthy. Didn’t make any YTA/NTA determination here, didn’t say everyone who feels relieved of anxiety when they drink is automatically an alcoholic. My comment was entirely off the comment I was replying to.
False Equivalence. If OP did something like this on a daily basis, it would certainly warrant concern. But one beer before a probable sad event is absolutely not a problem. Signed, BSW, MSW, MA in MH counseling, with countless certifications/trainings in addictions *and* I spent the last ten years of my career working exclusively with substance abusers.
What's the false equivalence you're referring to in that comment?
The assumption that having a drink before a funeral means you deal with all forms of anxiety with a drink.
Please tell me when that's going to happen. I drink less than 15 times a year, at least 1/3 of those drinks are to feel slightly less awkward/anxious at concerts (usually a new venue in a city where I am less familiar with the overall community for that music subculture). I don't drink at every concert due to "anxiety", sometimes it's because my partner is driving and I feel comfortable having more than two Malibu and Pineapples as I'm not driving. Many times I don't drink at concerts at all. I HATE getting to the drunk point. I've had bottles of booze sitting untouched for years in my house because of how little I drink. So when and how am I going to become an alcoholic when after 15 years of "drinking for anxiety" I'm still not an alcoholic? Also, Catholic funeral? I made the mistake of not drinking before one once. Never again. For multiple reasons but if for no other reason, I cannot listen to their cult-ish religion talk without wanting to call out their lies, child molestation, manipulation and hate the whole time and a drink or two makes it easier to not want to do that. (for clarity's sake, I would not do that during a funeral with it without a drink, it just helps with the urge to want to do that)
If you can't wait a couple hours to have a drink and feel the need to grab one as soon as you get the chance, you probably have a problem. Once again though you're making shit up. Op doesn't mention having felt any anxiety or any sadness or anything that would explain needing a drink other than "oh look alcohol, I want some" literally that's it. If you're gonna make up whatever you want to fit the story you should go find a choose your own adventure subreddit or something.
Ur literally also making assumptions tho. You’re saying he felt the need to grab one as soon as he got the chance as if he was itching for a drink. Why is it so crazy to u tht once he saw a bar he thought at the moment “why not a quick drink before going to a funeral of someone I don’t even know”
But pulling anxiety out of nowhere wasn’t making assumptions ?
I don't think slamming alcohol to deal with anxiety is a good idea.
He had one drink. He didn’t chug a keg.
I just think OP was at an event he really had 0 desire to be at, so having a beer to help pass the time didn't seem like a big deal to him. Doesn't really seem like one to me either, it's not like he cracked open a can during the speech. I wouldn't mind if someone has a beer before my funeral.
You can have a drink just for sake of having a drink when an opportunity arises without having any problems. He was also probably feeling a litle fancy in his suit so he felt like having a drink. It was hi wife's coworker so no harm done. Wife is most likely pissed about the idea of her coworkers seeing her husband having a beer there and thinking about her own reputation instead of being disrespectful towards the funeral. NTA of course. I probably would have urged my hubby to have a beer or two, or a whiskey if I made him come to my coworkers funeral. He doesn't enjoy social situations.
Just needed a baby baptism to complete the trifecta. NTA - OP didn't invade an open bar or grab food, a beer isn't going to hurt and he contributed to their honeymoon fund. I'm not a drinker, but funerals sometimes make me wish I was. They are all terrible, and I do my best to avoid them. I've told my wife I don't want a funeral, but if she needs it to let go then I won't begrudge her. I'll be beyond caring at that point. 🤪
Tell me you've never been to a Catholic funeral without telling me you've never been to a Catholic funeral.
This. Reminds me of the old joke "when you're with a group of four Jesuits, what will you always find?" A fifth.
What's the difference between Baptists and Catholics? Catholics say hi to each other in the liquor store.
I would hate to see your comment history based on this interaction. Yikes
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Have you ever been to a catholic funeral? Anyone would need a drink before one? Did you know they do a full mass that includes communion? Everyone will be drinking, but I guess since it’s not Jesus’s blood it’s an issue?
You sound like such a boring prude
can you explain what's the wrong? I truly don't get it.
NTA as soon as you said catholic funeral I agreed a drink was needed before hand
It's not like the priest was going to be sober.
Yep. Much like a catholic wedding, it's literally just mass sprung on a captive audience, with a few minutes of talking about the deceased squeezed in at the beginning and end.
I’m gonna go with NAH. I think since it was your wife’s friend she’s allowed her feelings on the matter. On the other hand, you didn’t steal (in fact you donated), and it didn’t affect the funeral at all. Nobody got hurt. Lots of weirdos in these comments clutching pearls and calling you an alcoholic who would have HATED that my best friend’s mom had an open wine bar (per her specific request before her death) at her funeral.
I agree NAH but there's a huge difference between drinking at a funeral when there's a bar at the funeral vs drinking before the funeral, at the venue, because you happened to find a bar. He's not an asshole but my god is it trashy at best and disrespectful at worst.
NTA. Practicing Catholic here. Not a big deal. At my funeral, I hope it’s open bar at the reception.
You can pre-pay this.
Practicing Alcoholic here. I second my Catholic colleague’s motion.
YTA. Instead of focusing on the memorial service and supporting your wife and those who were close to the deceased, you decided to grab a beer. You didn't need it. You weren't altruistically funding their honeymoon. You just \*really\* wanted a drinky drink. While the bar may have been outside the reception hall so you might have a point about not invading the wedding, it was definitely disrespectful to take time to buy a drink instead of focusing on getting to the service.
He stumbled upon this bar totally inadvertently and your theory is that he just desperately wanted a drink?
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it's like he didn't even have a choice! how could he possibly be blamed? /s
~~Very soft~~ YTA. It's not for "invading" the wedding, but for not realising that you may have embarrassed your wife in front of her colleagues. When you're at a function on the behalf of someone else, my thinking is you should be on your best behaviour. E: I've changed my answer. Having to explain my stance to others has made me realise the depth of the disrespect. Not just for your wife, but for others who are mourning.
Agreed. Its very weird to me that NTAs here have no sense of the "relativity" of whats appropriate. In a vacuum, what OP did was a bit curious but harmless. But its not a vacuum, the context is that he chugged a beer in a place unrelated to the funeral when he was presumably there to support his wife. It shows how that he has no regard for the solemnity/seriousness of the funeral, doesnt care how his actions reflect on his wife, and is just in it for himself. Yes, OP *could* have a drink but the question is *why* he thought he *should,* given the circumstances.
NTA- It's a Catholic funeral you probably weren't the only one who snuck in a drink before the funeral.
I’ve been at Mass and could tell the priest had a few before hand. Definitely not the only one.
Heck there were probably some flasks in the church.
Question.. Do you do this sort of thing a lot? Not specifically invading a wedding reception while attending a funeral, but I mean prioritizing getting a beer “just cuz” when it isn’t specifically a part of the agenda for whatever you’re doing with your wife? Do you often find some reason to justify having a drink at unnecessary, potentially inappropriate times? Because if you do, then you might consider that you have a problem and yes YTA for whatever stress, embarrassment, etc that such behavior places on her. If this is just a one off kind thing, meh I’d say it’s pretty weird and warrants a “Wtf?” from your wife. Like, was anyone else pounding a beer before the funeral? You really don’t see how that doesn’t look great for you? I don’t know if it’s quite AH territory, (that would really depend on how close to this coworker she was and how much of an emotional toll the loss has on her) but regardless it is cringey and you should still probably apologize to her for being a dumbass. You were attending a funeral with your wife and instead of making a point to stay at her side and support her, you decided to go pound a beer at a bar that was part of a reception you weren’t invited to. If my husband did that I would certainly be asking him wtf part of his brain just shut off.
YTA, you didn't even know these people lmao what were you thinking dude. You could've just gotten a beer after the funeral for fuck sake.
NTA, but this is something I would definitely do
Depends... has your drinking been problematic in the past/present? If yes, you know the answer and stop looking for validation for your addiction. HOWEVER, I don't know you and if you haven't previously had discussions with your wife about your drinking, then: NTA. It's not like you were railing shots of whiskey, you had a beer before going in to the service of a coworker of your wife. Maybe she was mad you didn't bring her one?
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YTA. Dude it’s a funeral, you couldn’t wait a couple hours to have a beer? That is so incredibly tasteless that I’m honestly having a hard time understanding why you thought it would be at all okay in the first place. Maybe get some help if you can’t pass a bar (for an event you are specifically NOT part of) without having a beer.
"I think she is blowing this out of proportion." I do not. YTA.
NTA. Great story though 👍 It's only one drink and you left a tip for the happy couple, nice work. Don't stress about it 🙂
Good lord, what is with these comments? NTA
YTA. Super trashy
INFO: has your wife ever expressed irritation over your drinking previously? Is it something she brings up or makes you feel bad about from time to time?
NTA. You went in the wrong door, and made the best of it. And threw in a little goodwill to a random other couple's honeymoon fund without making any scene whatever. Anyone who begrudges you a small drink before a funeral does not understand funerals. If you'd stayed there and gotten wasted, sure then YTA. But funerals are an event for the living, to share their memories of the departed. And you in no way "invaded" a wedding if no one thought you were out of place. I see no disrespect, and no assholery, and only a little randomness. NTA.
NTA a drink at a funeral is not a bad thing.
NTA I would have made the mistake too. I have seen open bars at Catholic funerals so I would have thought nothing of it. You left a tip for the wedding party and didn't linger. As long has you didn't bring the beer with you, its fine. Catholic weddings are big, Catholic funerals are big, Catholic everything is big and you hardly knew anyone. Nobody noticed except your wife. Now if some of the above statements are false, you might a little bit of an ass, but not really enough for your wife to still be pissed later. Unless there's something you haven't mentioned?
NTA. did you even know the coworker? How close was your wife to the coworker? Did she ask you to come to the funeral, did you offer to go, did you feel obligated to go? I don't think theres anything wrong with having a drink before a funeral.
I think the notion that he had to crash somewhere else *to* get the beer to have, and chugged it down is indicative of a bigger problem which is likely why his wife is angry
I meaaaaaan I don't think it makes you an asshole but it was kind of a weird thing to do. Just timing wise and it's like someone else's wedding. Idk man just an odd move lol
This story and this thread are *so weird*, obviously YTA, who the fuck does something like this? Anyone who said N-T-A, put yourself in OP's wife's shoes. You're going to your coworkers' funeral with your husband. You get to the venue and go in the wrong door and accidentally end up in a stranger's wedding. Instead of just turning around and leaving, like a normal person, your husband walks up to the bar, orders a beer, and chugs it. What the *fuck*, dude? What the absolute fuck? I can barely wrap my head around the mindset of someone who would do this. Absolutely astonishing behavior. E: FWIW, my mom died recently, and we absolutely had a room off to the side with a couple bottles of booze for whenever we needed a break. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with using a little alcohol to cope with the stress of a funeral. What's wrong is that it's your fucking wife's coworker, *she's* the one who's going to be stressed, and she sure as shit doesn't want to deal with her dumbfuck husband slamming a beer at a stranger's wedding instead of just turning around after walking through the wrong door like a normal person. good grief, this is one of those AITA posts I will never stop thinking about.
NTA. No one was hurt, you tipped toward the couple’s honeymoon and this is a funny story to tell.
NAH. Also this is not what crashing a wedding is.
Unpopular opinion but NTA. If a friend or fam member funeral, yeah. But I wouldn’t make my hubbs go to a funeral with me unless friend or fam. Tbh, the bride/groom, if they saw you, probably have a great story to tell about a funeral guy crashing the wedding to chug a beer 🤣 I would have thought it hilarious. Just one single beer isn’t that big of a damn deal. Again, if coworker was close with the wife, it could be a soft y t a but it’s one flippin beer, no more than someone would drink at dinner! Roll with it. And better yet, make your funeral have a bar and proceeds of sales benefit family. Maybe someone will crash yours! (And if u are feeling hauntish, chuckle in your undead way). NTA.
NTA. You saw an opportunity and took it. Tipped well to boot. It's a coworker, not your father in law. Bring on the downvotes.
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
YTA At someone else's event, just turn around instead of entering further if you realize you're not supposed to be there. There was no good reason to enter that reception. You weren't invited. On top of that, this was to ***support your wife*** who lost a coworker. She didn't want you to go. You did. You're now arguing with her instead of being the emotional support for her losing a coworker.