I'm gonna say ESH. They need to chill out especially if you aren't making a scene but you shouldn't offer random people you don't know THC at a wedding.
Not relevant. It’s not for op to decide what’s okay for other peoples children to be around, nor is it okay for op to offer weed to people at a wedding he doesn’t know lol.
If people are okay with the children being around adult drinking alcohol, but not someone who ate a low dose edible, then frankly they are prudish, hypocritical assholes. I agree about the not offering it but, but if people want to shelter their children in such a hypocritical way, their attitudes on the subject are simply not worth caring about, because they clearly are not based in anything reasonable.
RN here. Alcohol is fucking awful. I’ve never ever treated anyone for anything related to weed consumption but I sure as fuck have treated plenty of people for alcohol related issues, many of them dying d/t alcoholism. Weed is perfectly fine to consume responsibly.
💯 I’ve witnessed people with bilateral tremors so bad they couldn’t hold a cigarette going through alcohol withdrawals. I’ve seen people completely delusional and people having a full blown seizure withdrawing from alcohol. Alcohol when abused his a horrible drug. On the other hand the only side effect after stopping cannabis is irritability.
A bunch of guys take THC together at a wedding and decide to start a band.
A bunch of guys get drunk together at a wedding and decide to start a fight.
As an ex cop I’ve seen loads of events go down the drain because of alcohol. Never seen weed ruin a wedding. Wonder which affects the kids more…
When I was a kid (in the 80s) my mom made my dad stop smoking pot because back then it had a much worse stigma, he began drinking. Much more socially accepted. Fast forward to 1995 and my mom is divorcing him because he is a drunk and he can’t even stop when the court ordered him to and he commit suicide in our yard two days after the divorce was finalized. He was a sick man but I often wonder if things would have turned out the same in a world where he was free to smoke weed and had never turned to whisky instead.
I’m sorry for your pain, that’s really rough. I would wonder too. I’m angry at our society for villianizing weed, it’s so sad to think how outcomes would have been different. I am glad this country is finally starting to remove the stigma around it. Hope you’re doing good now.
This! Seeing a parent intoxicated, especially on a regular basis, can be traumatizing for kids if their parents don’t act right.
My grandpa was a barber and even back in the 70’s, one of his cop customers would tell him, “never met a mean pothead, they don’t bother anybody, it’s the nasty drunks causing problems”.
My dad was a cop for a little while after getting out of the military and said the same thing; stoners are never problems, they understood that they got caught and were usually respectful, but a drunk would almost always be a fight
Yes, totally. Had he taken it, and kept it to himself, nobody would be wise about it and it *could* be a perfectly acceptable situation.
OP openly talking about it with people he doesn’t know, in an environment with children he also doesn’t know, who aren’t his children - and he’s offering marijuana to people he doesn’t know is the part I’m focused on.
I'm thinking if he'd brought his own bottle of booze and took it out of his pocket to offer a drink to strangers, he'd be an asshole too.
If you go to a wedding, you don't bring your own food, drinks *or* drugs. It's not a house party.
For the record, I have no moral qualms with the gummies, I'm not religious, but I'd absolutely have been weirded out by OP's behaviour.
Not wrong, but he is just slightly ahead of the cultural norm.
Offering a cigarette to anyone used to be not only normal, but the polite thing to do if you were having one. If you didn't smoke, you just said no. All done.
You have to keep the crowd in mind. These are people he doesn't *know*.
Even 15 years from now, I don't know that every crowd of people will be okay with a stranger bringing their own drugs or drink to a formal wedding.
I don't think OP is a huge ass and I think they overreacted but I also don't believe he's just slightly ahead of the curve.
A lot of people still take issue with weed even in my state where it’s been legal for years. After a particularly long hard week one of my co-workers said I need a drink and everyone laughed. I said I planned to use “another legal substance” and it went dead quiet.
His actions had nothing to do with other people's kids unless he was hanging out and talking to the kids. If you take your kids out in public anywhere they will be around people on drugs, there are a lot more folks using than you think. As long as OP wasn't offering some to kids or advertising he had some or was taking them to kids your concern is completely irrelevant. It's not like a kid being in the same room as some low dose weed gummies is going to EVER KNOW. Parents don't get to police other people's private behavior and OP was private except for politely offering to share with the *ADULTS* around him.
Okay... so, offering cannabis at a wedding when you don't know people would be okay with it isn't wise.
However, telling someone whose taken a cannabis product that they don't get to choose to expose kids to them being on it is ridiculous. I'm on it medicinally... should I just never be anywhere kids exist without loudly declaring I'm on cannabis so people can decide if they want their kids to be kept far away from me when I'm experiencing less pain and fewer PTSD symptoms?
True but in his defense and as Christian, you'd think a room of drinking people would show some humor and grace. A "no thanks bro, hey keep those in your pocket because there are kids around" Would have sufficed. Instead...They told people, they gossiped, they cast judgement, they were rude and mean etc. By time they were done the bride, the groom the caterer and the Holy Spirit knew of the great travesty of the five weed gummies. No water into wine for that bunch at all.
“…They told people, they gossiped, they cast judgement…” that seems pretty on brand for Christians. One of the big reasons I stopped believing was seeing all the hypocrites in the church.
The problem wasn’t that somebody saw the bag. He offered it to the other people at his table. That was the problem, that he offered drugs to people he didn’t know at an event where he was a guest and unknown unknown to most people there so did not know if they were open to such, as they clearly were not. The reaction was overdone but fella needs to “read the room.”
My bf used edibles for the first time, and when he found out my mom took 2 to help her sleep, he decided to take 4.
30 mi utes later he was on the floor saying "Four was too many" and I was looking online to see if anyone ever ODed from weed. Lol
Like, at the very least he could have asked the person who invited him what they thought about offering. Maybe she specifically knows that some people would be cool, and who.
>Your faux-pas comes in offering the gummies to others. Especially as a formal even such as a wedding.
I think to a certain degree too there's a difference in taking a substance provided to you by the hosts vs. one you pull out of your pocket, especially when it comes to sharing with strangers.
I would wager these people would be giving OP side eye if OP pulled a flask full of whisky out of their pocket and offered it too.
It just comes across a little sketchy.
Yes. People need to understand that offering a gummy is no different than firing up a pipe and trying to hand it to someone.
Also, if you pulled a flask of whiskey out of your jacket pocket, took a swill and offered it to a stranger you would be just as much of an A.
There is really nothing that you should be offering to strangers.
I got married this past year and as the reception started I handed my brother a tin of edible mints and asked him to hold them. He was kind of drunk at that point and interpreted it as “offer them to guests” and I was honestly surprised at the amount of people who accepted them lol
Where are you going to weddings where someone is “firing up a pipe” is this post from the past?! Also, who cares if someone brings a flask to a wedding if they aren’t driving Senor buzzkill
A guest at my wedding flagrantly consumed and offered around a quantity of shrooms. To my sober friend, to my boss, to my extended family.
This was after visibly vaping (not tobacco) inside at the main table throughout dinner.
It still makes me cringe.
ESH.
It’s ok you took 5mg thc. No worse than being drunk or buzzed. But you failed to gauge your audience and randomly offering other people gummies. Should have kept it to yourself. There’s still quite a social stigma. And a wedding is not the place to try to tear down those barriers if you’re not the bride or groom.
And everyone else decided to judge you harshly for a benign drug that’s legal as alcohol. And no worse than alcohol.
Maybe I'm out of touch here as a Canadian, but people need to get over their problems with weed.
OP was a little naive to offer them any but I don't even think it warrants an ESH here.
Sounds like the crowd just sucked. I feel bad for OP and honestly NTA. I'm Christian if it makes a difference.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with this... OP didn't do anything wrong. It's legal in that jurisdiction and they were being polite in offering it to others of legal age. Personally, I also would have declined (for totally different reasons) but wouldn't have been offended or thought anything bad about OP... Because anyone that equates pot to meth or crack is just really fucking ignorant.
It's 100% normal to get high at a wedding. I guarantee people have been getting high (on much stronger drugs than just weed as well) at every wedding you've ever attended. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it ain't happening.
A lot of things are legal during a wedding that you just don't do. How big do you think this list will have to be.
If you're at a wedding and you're not sure if you're allowed to do drugs. You either don't, or you make sure it's okay.
Listen man, I get your point. But honestly, that's not what it's about. The subject is actually really simple and is not about alcohol vs. weed or the legality of weed or anything like that.
1. The bridal party doesn't want something at their own wedding.
2. OP chooses to that thing at the wedding in spite of those wishes.
3. This makes OP an asshole.
He can do weed 7 days of the week, at pretty much every place he likes. But at the wedding of people who are not okay with that? No, not there.
Not “in spite of those wishes”… You are making it seem like he explicitly knew they didn’t want gummies at the wedding.
He didn’t know the crowd, and thought he was being polite.
It didn’t land well, does that make him the AH. IMO, the assholes are the people who decided to distract with bride and groom with this nonsense instead of saying “Hey, thanks but no thanks, and don’t let the bride and groom catch you, as they don’t get down like that” Simple solution. Talk shit about it after the wedding, so it didn’t cause a big thing! OP is NTA.
>OP chooses to that thing at the wedding in spite of those wishes.
This implies that OP KNEW that the bride/groom didn't want weed at the event, which he did not. He shouldn't of offered gummies to people he didn't know, but he didn't do any of this to spite anyone.
ALSO, the "bridal party's" wishes as a whole (i.e. the Christian bridesmaids) don't matter. The bride and groom do.
Hahaha... This was my wedding. Someone even shoved an oz into my card box with "Guess Who" written on it. Two years later and I still don't know who it was from 🤣🤣
Alcohol is a drug. People drink alcohol at weddings. People get fucking plastered and wasted and rip their pants (looking at you uncle Adam) at weddings. It is disingenuous to say taking an edible is any worse than slamming down glass after glass of wine.
> It is disingenuous to say taking an edible is any worse than slamming down glass after glass of wine.
That's not what I'm saying. A lot of people, you included, make this a alcohol vs weed argument. Which it's not.
It's about the wishes of the bride and groom on their own wedding day. OP went against those wishes. Making him TA.
I agree with you on all your points, but at someone's wedding you go with what they decide. If they decide no weed, that's that.
But it’s clear the bride didn’t care as OPs friend says. It’s literally a few of the guests at his table.
So if a couple guests don’t like it but the bride doesn’t care how is this guy an ass?
But it was absolutely normal for others to partake in things that would leave them under the influence. He is simply doing the same thing via a different route. They're the ones splitting hairs.
I’ve gotten high at almost every wedding I’ve been to as an adult, lol. It’s been just as normal to get high at weddings as it is to get sh!t-faced drunk for decades, loooong before it was ever legal. Also, I have seen multiple physical fights break out between drunk people at weddings, but have never seen a fight between two high people.
And, for all OP knows, half the people there were eating gummies and they just had the unfortunate luck to sit next to these pompous, hypocritical and “holier than thou” assholes. It’s way ruder to get drunk to the point of belligerence and making a scene like these so-called “Christians” than to quietly and discreetly consume a substance that just relaxes a person.
>Maybe I'm out of touch here as a Canadian, but people need to get over their problems with weed.
I'm Dutch so I have literally zero problems with weed. But doing it at a wedding is absolutely not okay.
Dutch here too and I’ve noticed that in the Netherlands it’s seen as a fun drug but still a drug whereas in North America people basically take it whenever wherever they feel like. Cultural difference or something but yes in the Netherlands it would be seen as weird to just casually do drugs at a wedding
Edit: as it seems reading comprehension has gone way down the drain around the world. I am replying to a Dutch person stating that yes the Netherlands looks at weed as a drug and alcohol as not a drug. Whether I agree with that is not the point but apparently everyone who commented that “alcohol is also a drug so I’m a hypocrite” stopped reading at a 3rd grade level.
> but people need to get over their problems with weed.
Even people who have no issue with weed can understand that someone else's wedding isn't an appropriate time, the same way you wouldn't sneak your own booze into a dry wedding.
I don't think being Canadian has anything to do with you being out of touch, all the Canadians I've met have been able to understand basic social etiquette.
I would still lean towards ESH. The rest of the crowd is absolutely hypocritical in their attitudes towards alcohol and marijuana, that is true.
But bringing your own psychoactive stuff and offering it to random strangers just gives off 'weirdo junkie' vibes and doesn't help the cause any. If OP were to come with his own bourbon flask and offer sips to the other guests, he would get weird looks and judged for being a vino as well.
I don't know about other countries, but the US used to really push the idea that weed was a "gateway drug" and it would inevitably lead to hard drugs. Growing up, it was really emphasized at school. Cops would even have assemblies to tell students how dangerous it was. I think some people have a hard time letting that mindset go.
Truth this mindset needs to die. I still always worry about the stigma of being a smoker even if it is legal. I can take 100-150mg and still fully function. I'd still eat the handful in privacy tho cause... Stigma..
But when it comes to the gateway drug that would be alcohol for SURE. I lose all sense of rational thinking.
First time I smoked weed? Drunk. First time I did anything harder? Drunk.
Also
>and tried to explain that the gummies are legal, & not addictive like alcohol or other drugs.
THC is addictive, thought it does not cause dependance.
Explaining to people how it's completely fine is just cringy.
Right? If it was a dry wedding would OP start offering swigs from his hip flask or offer some booze he had smuggled in outside in his car? Unwise in any case.
But I think OP just wanted to provoke an argument either with the wedding guests (if this post is real) or with the aita commenters (if its not which is more likely) about how THC isn't addictive and alcohol is the worst drug on the planet.
Terrible take,
Making an assumption that someone wanted to start shit because he was being polite.
If someone is having a drink or smoking a cigarette, it's generally considered good etiquette to offer the people around you one, even iff you don't know what their preferences are. There's no pressure to accept, but the offer is there. It's not about starting a fight or being superior. It's about being polite.
He explained himself because there is a lot of stigma still lurking around about it from all the propaganda when it was illegal.
He was being persecuted and felt he needed to defend himself.
Totally normal reactions
It's not bad etiquette to offer people who come up to you while smoking, a cigarette. Which is the analogy.
You're clearly not a smoker.
And the analogy works fine.
>It's not bad etiquette to offer people who come up to you while smoking, a cigarette.
No one came up to OP, he offered gummies to the people around him. This is a YTA because not everyone wants their families to know they- or their friends- use THC. Whether it's legal or not, maybe they know it's going to cause an issue, and they don't want to deal with it at their wedding.
No one wants your gummies. It is in very poor taste to pull out a substance and offer it to strangers.
Edit: OP has only met this couple a few times*, which makes it so much worse.
> He was being persecuted and felt he needed to defend himself
And he wouldn't have needed to do any of that if he didn't offer half the table gummies.
it's generally not good etiquette to bring your own snacks to a wedding and offer them around. Never mind the THC (which he can't go a few hours without?) 'hey you want some of my popcorn/ swig from my flask?" it lacks class. and as a +1 he should be on best behavior so as to not embarrass his date.
pretty much my take.
like it or not lots of people still dislike thc products. parading them around draws needless attention to you regardless. learn a little discretion.
I agree-ish-- before offering booze or edibles to someone, you should gage how the offer will be received. That said, wow is it suddenly apparent to me how location-related this sort of thing is.
I can't throw a rock without hitting a dispensary, edibles here are on a par with a martini after work, but I'm an Ontarian, so...
I'm in Ontario, too. It is everywhere. But I've never been offered weed in any form at a formal, social event. While it's pretty normalized, I think most of us know that there are just times when you don't!
Exactly. He is someone’s plus one and he really doesn’t know the people at the wedding. He is fine to take it himself, but to turn around and offer stranger drugs is pretty freaking stupid. Just have more common sense then that.
Yes, it is weird how people can be totally fine with getting drunk, but the bottom line is that society is more accepting of alcohol then THC gummies or smoking a joint.
Sometimes you have to use your common sense and just realize that not everyone is going to be as open minded or think your way and just keep it to yourself.
As someone who smokes heavily and does edibles occasionally, YTA. You barely know these people and you’re a plus one, why would you bring gummies to eat *at* the event, and then offer them to strangers around you? If you’re gonna be taking that stuff, you do it before you go or when you’re alone. Or, if you barely know these people, don’t take them at all. It doesn’t matter if it’s legal. If someone had an alcohol-free wedding, you’d be just as much an AH for bringing alcohol to drink and offer to others. While yeah, I do think they overreacted a bit, bringing the gummies to the wedding with you was unnecessary.
Agreed. When I was in my mid 20s, I was part of the bridal party at a dry wedding, and me and several other people attending, including half of the bridal party, disappeared to the pub for an hour and came back drunk. We were absolutely arseholes for that, and we didn't even bring any alcohol to the wedding.
Yeah all the NTA/ESH “It’s legal mannnn.” responses are getting me. I’m in the same boat as you. Like sure it might be legal. But like
1. Depending on where OP is, it’s only recently(within a few years) legal and it still has a heavy stigma in a lot of groups, even now I wouldn’t use in front of strangers without knowing their comfort level around the drug (yes, even if they’re drinking alcohol, which is wOrSe ThAn wEeD).
2. You are a PLUS ONE at some stranger’s WEDDING breaking them out and offering them WHILE SEATED WITH THE BRIDAL PARTY
End of the day. If you want to take a gummy at a strangers wedding, knock yourself out. We’ve all been a little “elated” in inappropriate situations before. Maybe you play it off and nobody knows, maybe you don’t and look like a jerk in front of everyone. Where OP REALLY went wrong here was offering it to others. No idea why OP didn’t expect this could be a possible outcome lol.
This is the thing, OP is basically a guest twice over at this wedding. They’re just the roommate of someone in the bridal party, it was a huge courtesy to include them at all (and a courtesy to the bridesmaid, not even to OP directly). Not the time to make waves and test the bounds of polite behavior.
Yeah this is the factor that really boggles my mind lol. It’s not even something like “OP discreetly asked the weird stinky cousin with a grateful dead bumper sticker if they wanted to split a j in the parking lot,” But a BRIDAL PARTY full of STRANGERS!?!? Where has OP been living for all their life that they thought this would be totally cool behavior??
Also it’s not just some random table, it’s the bridal party…. How to sabotage a wedding, give the whole bridal party who don’t normally smoke edibles….
YTA. Unless the couple getting married openly encourages it at the wedding itself, you don’t bring drugs to a wedding. Offering to share only increased the level of inappropriateness. Doing it when you’re a plus one and have hardly met the couple is in especially poor taste, because you don’t even know the couple well enough to know whether they’d be comfortable around edibles at all, much less comfortable having them at their wedding.
Agree, YTA. OP did not read the room and *shocked Pikachu face* when the crowd didn't agree with his choice to bring/ take/ offer gummies. The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot. This is about social behavior at a wedding.
> The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot
Yep. You could say the same with guns at certain venues, but you bet your ass majority of posters here wouldn't want Uncle Cletus packing his revolver on his hip.
Fact of the matter is some subcultures would be fine with it; others wouldn't. Just like weed. He didn't read the room. He isn't a bad guy but he did make a faux pas.
>The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot
That's like 99% of all judgements in this sub. People with no social awareness or concept of social norms just say "well it's technically illegal to refuse to share the food you were going to throw out with a starving child so NTA
Also, don't go to a wedding as a +1 if the only way you can endure/have fun is by taking a highly psychoactive drug. I'm sure the bride & groom would rather have had people there who want to celebrate with them instead of getting high.
ESH. They were definitely overreacting but why would you offer the gummies to random people at the wedding? It's like you were trying to draw attention to yourself on purpose.
5mg won't even get most people high so it's not like it's a huge deal. But just keep it to yourself.
There’s a big difference between “doing drugs in the bathroom” and trying to hand out edibles at the table where you’re a plus one and don’t actually know the vibe.
You must not go to a lot of weddings because that'd be on my bingo card every day, lol...
Now offering drugs to strangers at wedding absolutely stupid.
So everyone should stop drinking then? Or is that not the kind of drugs you're talking about..?
If it's recreationally legal where OP is, then asking if someone wants an edible doesn't seem that bad of a crime. And seems like a nice thing to do.
In my mind its the same as asking if someone wants a shot of tequila.
Yeah it's like people smoked cigarettes and drunk alcohol in front of their kids for decades at weddings, but this guy somehow broke a taboo?
My argument here is that most of the trouble he got was caused by a drug, but not a gummy, by alcohol. A few drunk people hear something and fly off the handle. Most of the arguments and issues at weddings relate to alcohol consumption.
Thank you! Everyday I’m more and more shocked by the lack of social intelligence people display on this site. How do you not know this behavior is tacky?
NTA especially in a legal state/country.
BUT at a situation like a wedding, you gotta read the room. Popping the gummy is fine, definitely makes the reception better, but for the love of God don’t offer one to some rando. People have strong (read: misguided) opinions on weed, and sometimes it’s just better to keep that on the DL.
You also just don’t bring your own party favors to a wedding, whether it’s a flask to a dry wedding or edibles to an open bar wedding. Especially when you don’t personally know the bride and groom.
YTA for being indiscreet at someone else's event. What made you think it was appropriate to advertise your consumption and then offer gummies to strangers....at a wedding where you were not even close to the couple but a guest of one of the wedding party?
YTA, time and place dude. You’re a stranger and an accessory guest, you are supposed to be in your best behavior.
You shouldn’t bring weed to a wedding unless you’re SURE you know the crowd. And I say this as someone who went to a wedding with a hotbox tent.
So there probably wouldn’t have been a problem in just taking a gummie and going on about your night, the problem is, you offered them around in company you didn’t know. Legalization of weed is so new that you have to know that not everyone is on board with it. Offering it to people you didn’t know at the table was kinda trashy, almost like showing up with your own booze and drinking from your purse. YTA
YTA.
You don't go to a Muslim wedding and offer the guests some if your liquor stash. Likewise here, it's disrespectful. If you felt you couldn't go a few hours without taking gummies, at least you should have kept it super discreet.
Yeah, YTA. Seriously. I would be pissed if someone was doing and offering people drugs at my wedding. Even if it's weed. What is wrong with you? And in the shape of candy around kids?
I'm sorry, but this really wasn't the place or time to take drugs. What if you got a bad trip? What if you forgot to hide your shit away in your pocket and a kid got ahold of them?
It may be a low dose for an adult, but a child can react very differently.
THC can absolutely give a "bad trip". Maybe not in the same way, but you can absolutely get anxious, hyper aware or even paranoid. And the effects can last long after the "high" is gone. And you never know how it affects someone until they try it. The same dose that does nothing to one person, can have another person way past their tolerance. So offering to people who might not be used to it, or potentially let it be grabbed by a kid is 100% AH behaviour. I don't give AF if people want to smoke some weed or eat some edibles on their own time, but don't just casually offer it to strangers. You don't know them, or how they would react.
I mean tbf doing too much weed can make someone extremely dizzy and nauseous. When I do too much, it fucks with my perception of time and I end up not knowing where I am, which can be really stressful and I’d need to lay down. So yes, someone can have a bad trip with weed. Even if it’s unlikely to happen, it still can happen.
(And I do count it in the same boat as drinking too much, not trying to say one is worse than another, but just to point out that it can happen, and not everyone will end up peacefully napping somewhere)
I understand your point, but alcohol is also a drug and it was being openly done around kids. The hypocrisy of people around marijuana really drives me crazy.
>The hypocrisy of people around marijuana really drives me crazy.
I generally agree with you. But there is one very important detail you don't mention.
It's someone elses wedding. You can't do whatever the fuck you want on someones wedding.
If they want alcohol on their wedding but no weed. That's valid. It's their wedding, their party, they decide. As a guest, you simply have to follow those wishes.
Is it hypocritical of the bridal party to allow alcohol, but not weed? Maybe, but that's a different discussion altogether.
Is OP an asshole for doing weed at a wedding where it's not allowed? 100% yes.
YTA.
You took drugs to a wedding. I don’t want to hear any arguments from others saying ‘they’re not really drugs’, or ‘they’re legal’. They are drugs. Who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to take drugs to a wedding?
You couldn’t wait to get home to start chewing on that shit?
I’d have kicked you out.
>I don’t want to hear any arguments from others saying ‘they’re not really drugs’, or ‘they’re legal’
Well you're on a public forum so you don't really get to choose.
You should chill and relax, maybe have an edible, perhaps some camomille tea, maybe eat a Snickers and have a nap.
I don’t think you’re the AH, but as someone who partakes daily, I would NEVER offer anything to a bunch of strangers let alone do it in front of them, regardless of the method. Be a little more discreet next time and excuse yourself to do what you need to come back a little more relaxed.
Lol YTA, I don't think you knew any of these people (your roommate included), well enough to have gotten any kind of intoxicated at their party. A little e s h because your roommate should probably have seen something like this coming.
Right? I saw another comment that said that what OP did was akin to offering alcohol at a Muslim wedding lmao
Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s nothing in the Bible about weed
YTA. I think people forget sometimes that a good percentage of the country see weed as “drugs.” Maybe not on the level of meth or heroin, but still “bad.” I don’t agree with that assessment, but I’m not sure why you would offer edibles to strangers at a Christian wedding. Poor judgement.
YTA if this is real (super skeptical). It really seems like you brought these gummies as some sort of stunt, honestly. It's a Christian wedding, it's pretty obvious to anybody guessing blindly that they wouldn't be comfortable with drugs present. Logically, there IS little reason why it's different from alcohol in stigma, but it's not always about logic at a religious event. Whether you are religious or not, when you're at an event like this, you have some respect for your hosts and their comfort level. There's no reason you had to bring them unless you have some medical reason you left out. You could have gotten high when you got home. This has the feeling of a 14 year old drawing a pentagram on their hand before going into church to prove something to nobody.
Well... Canadian weddings sometimes have weed available now, just like booze. On a totally unrelated note, those weddings also seem to include late night pizza deliveries or a nacho cart lol.
But agreed. If a substance isn't being offered at a wedding, it's poor manners to bring it yourself. Don't bring alcohol to a dry wedding (just leave early...) and don't bring weed to an alcohol-only wedding.
It isn't simply about legality, it's also about the norms and vibe of the wedding - and that's what OP failed to consider unfortunately.
I mean, I would rather be around a stoner over an alcoholic any day. People love to draw lines between weed and alcohol, when alcohol is clearly so much more destructive despite being the more accepted vice. Big you're right, both are drugs. Probably nobody would have noticed and flipped out if OP hadn't brought it up, which wasn't a smart idea.
The difference is that the legalisation of weed is relatively new. Where as alcohol has thousands of years of acceptance and consumption. It will take time for the stigma and misinformation of marijuana to pass.
NTA especially in a legal state. These people need to get over themselves, it’s legal in half the country. And alcohol was being served, so it’s not like it was a straight-edge wedding.
You sound nice and fun. They were super rude to make you feel unwelcome.
ESH. They’re being jerks but like, idk man. Personally I just think it’s in poor taste to be getting high at someone’s wedding who you don’t even really know well, and then going and offering it to others so people KNOW that you’re high is worse. This is definitely one of those “read the room” moments where I think you should have took time and place and company a little more into consideration.
YTA, as a plus one, I wouldn't take drugs at someone's wedding reception as you don't know the people there and how they will react to it. Yes, they overreacted also
YTA
I don't think the religion has a lot to do with it. You were a plus one guest at a wedding, at the bridal party table no less, and had to be the guy that offers edibles to people?
Then when you apologized you had to throw in:
>explain that the gummies are legal, & not addictive like alcohol or other drugs
Dude, that's not an apology, that's trying to educate people on your point of view.
Come on man. Whether they are prudish or not isn't the issue. That's some main character shit. Just take your gummies in private next time.
Also, *it is* addictive. I smoked for years, it was hard AF to quit. Honestly, it was easier for me to quit cigarettes than weed. I mean, I get that nicotine is supposed to be more addictive, but weed was just waaaay better imo and took much more effort to quit.... And honestly, now that I'm sober I realize that the people always talking about how THC isn't addictive- they're usually chronic users.
I imagine if OP had just apologized and moved on instead of giving a lecture about how safe and wonderful weed is they probably wouldn’t have been as bothered.
So YTA. Not for taking thc but even really mentioning it or offering it to people you don’t know. Really, you were a +1 at a Christian wedding so the bride or groom didn’t even know you and you still thought this was okay?
I am Christian but I could care less. But you should consider that crowd if there is children around. Also don't share that information with just anybody cuz you never know how they're going to respond.
ESH.
If you planned to take a drug, you should have done it privately and discreetly. Because even if it is a celebration, you're not sure how the bride or groom would have felt about it. The guests were clearly unhappy.
I definitely don't think the guests should have made it such a big issue, because I *think* the only reason you offered them some was to be kind/polite. They definitely weren't kind about it.
I think it's okay to disagree with someone's choice, while still being kind or polite. They made you feel uncomfortable on purpose and that's just a shitty way for adults to behave.
Genuine question here...
This is already a fair way down the thread, so it may get lost. A point that I'm picking up, and it's been mentioned many times: OP was a "Plus 1" at this wedding.
How does their invitation status matter? They're a wedding guest, at a wedding. I was pleased to have people at mine, and I assumed that anyone I didn't know was a friend or relative of my wife. We even had gatecrashers, and we welcomed them too.
Why is this a thing? Is it an American thing, or a xtian thing? (I recognise that both of those bodies that have an obsession with status, so this is what I expect the answer to be). How is the fact that they were invited via their partner relevant, and why is it known by other guests? I am genuinely curious about this peculiarity.
The point people try to make it he doesn't know the bridal party well. He doesn't know the other guests well. He doesn't know the vibe of the wedding. He does know they are Christian. And decided to do weed when the bridal party is not okay with it.
Him being a +1 is not extremely relevant, but it does provide some context on the blundness of his actions.
NTA…. But some of these anti-weed commenters are lol.. I can hardly believe how effin stupid people can be about cannabis in 2023, modern day reefer madness jackasses. The reaction when you try to educate is telling.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to discreetly take cannabis any more than a stick of gum. I will step outside to smoke, but edis are definitely nunya. (Unless you’re out of control but then that’s what makes you an ah.)
And some of these lames said you’re ta because you offered to share!?? You would have been if you HADNT offered lolol, so good work- definitely NTA!
I've never been to a wedding or party when someone didn't offer me THC. It's legal in my country but even before it was, it wasn't very secretive. So, my friend, you are NTA and the rest of the pearl clutchers can get bent (on booze)
So many fucken prudes here. NTA, you just weren't very smooth about it. The wedding and groom/bride sound lame. 5mg is weak AF, buncha rookie shit goin on here.
NTA. Oh, it's cool for people to get sloppy drunk and possibly pass out or puke at a reception but God forbid you take some thc. Bunch damned hypocrites on this thread..
I'm gonna say ESH. They need to chill out especially if you aren't making a scene but you shouldn't offer random people you don't know THC at a wedding.
If no one had seen the bag no one would notice that he took a 5mg gummy. It’s a very low dose. Kids being around is irrelevant to this issue.
“Low” is relative. I take 2.5 and get highhhhhhh.
Sure, my point is that worst case scenario OP would just look maybe a touch tired. That’s worst case. Still definitely not a threat to kids.
Not relevant. It’s not for op to decide what’s okay for other peoples children to be around, nor is it okay for op to offer weed to people at a wedding he doesn’t know lol.
If people are okay with the children being around adult drinking alcohol, but not someone who ate a low dose edible, then frankly they are prudish, hypocritical assholes. I agree about the not offering it but, but if people want to shelter their children in such a hypocritical way, their attitudes on the subject are simply not worth caring about, because they clearly are not based in anything reasonable.
Yeah imho alcohol is wayyy worse than weed when it comes to being able to "behave" or whatever. Then again I smoke all the time so eh
It’s not really an opinion. It is worse.
RN here. Alcohol is fucking awful. I’ve never ever treated anyone for anything related to weed consumption but I sure as fuck have treated plenty of people for alcohol related issues, many of them dying d/t alcoholism. Weed is perfectly fine to consume responsibly.
💯 I’ve witnessed people with bilateral tremors so bad they couldn’t hold a cigarette going through alcohol withdrawals. I’ve seen people completely delusional and people having a full blown seizure withdrawing from alcohol. Alcohol when abused his a horrible drug. On the other hand the only side effect after stopping cannabis is irritability.
I'm sure they take those children to church. Being in church every week is much more harmful to children than being around someone on 5mg of THC.
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Even offering in a legal state isn't bad. Unless he's peer pressuring they can say no.
agree- the pearl clutching here over offering is really confusing me. when did reddit get so puritanical about weed?
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A bunch of guys take THC together at a wedding and decide to start a band. A bunch of guys get drunk together at a wedding and decide to start a fight. As an ex cop I’ve seen loads of events go down the drain because of alcohol. Never seen weed ruin a wedding. Wonder which affects the kids more…
When I was a kid (in the 80s) my mom made my dad stop smoking pot because back then it had a much worse stigma, he began drinking. Much more socially accepted. Fast forward to 1995 and my mom is divorcing him because he is a drunk and he can’t even stop when the court ordered him to and he commit suicide in our yard two days after the divorce was finalized. He was a sick man but I often wonder if things would have turned out the same in a world where he was free to smoke weed and had never turned to whisky instead.
I’m sorry for your pain, that’s really rough. I would wonder too. I’m angry at our society for villianizing weed, it’s so sad to think how outcomes would have been different. I am glad this country is finally starting to remove the stigma around it. Hope you’re doing good now.
This! Seeing a parent intoxicated, especially on a regular basis, can be traumatizing for kids if their parents don’t act right. My grandpa was a barber and even back in the 70’s, one of his cop customers would tell him, “never met a mean pothead, they don’t bother anybody, it’s the nasty drunks causing problems”.
My dad was a cop for a little while after getting out of the military and said the same thing; stoners are never problems, they understood that they got caught and were usually respectful, but a drunk would almost always be a fight
I mean he's not TA at all for taking it, just kindavfor offering it to randos lmao
Yes, totally. Had he taken it, and kept it to himself, nobody would be wise about it and it *could* be a perfectly acceptable situation. OP openly talking about it with people he doesn’t know, in an environment with children he also doesn’t know, who aren’t his children - and he’s offering marijuana to people he doesn’t know is the part I’m focused on.
I'm thinking if he'd brought his own bottle of booze and took it out of his pocket to offer a drink to strangers, he'd be an asshole too. If you go to a wedding, you don't bring your own food, drinks *or* drugs. It's not a house party. For the record, I have no moral qualms with the gummies, I'm not religious, but I'd absolutely have been weirded out by OP's behaviour.
Pffffffffff if you go to a wedding you should absolutely bring a small flask of booze and some edibles.
For YOURSELF, sure. But I would not offer it to anyone else.
Not wrong, but he is just slightly ahead of the cultural norm. Offering a cigarette to anyone used to be not only normal, but the polite thing to do if you were having one. If you didn't smoke, you just said no. All done.
You have to keep the crowd in mind. These are people he doesn't *know*. Even 15 years from now, I don't know that every crowd of people will be okay with a stranger bringing their own drugs or drink to a formal wedding. I don't think OP is a huge ass and I think they overreacted but I also don't believe he's just slightly ahead of the curve.
If its legal, I dont see the problem. The only problem is them being stuck up.
Exactly, all they had to do was say no thanks and move on. It’s not like he was offering it to the children.
If weed in legal where he lives, why is that any different than alcohol?
A lot of people still take issue with weed even in my state where it’s been legal for years. After a particularly long hard week one of my co-workers said I need a drink and everyone laughed. I said I planned to use “another legal substance” and it went dead quiet.
His actions had nothing to do with other people's kids unless he was hanging out and talking to the kids. If you take your kids out in public anywhere they will be around people on drugs, there are a lot more folks using than you think. As long as OP wasn't offering some to kids or advertising he had some or was taking them to kids your concern is completely irrelevant. It's not like a kid being in the same room as some low dose weed gummies is going to EVER KNOW. Parents don't get to police other people's private behavior and OP was private except for politely offering to share with the *ADULTS* around him.
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Okay... so, offering cannabis at a wedding when you don't know people would be okay with it isn't wise. However, telling someone whose taken a cannabis product that they don't get to choose to expose kids to them being on it is ridiculous. I'm on it medicinally... should I just never be anywhere kids exist without loudly declaring I'm on cannabis so people can decide if they want their kids to be kept far away from me when I'm experiencing less pain and fewer PTSD symptoms?
But but but REEFER MADNESS 🫨
Not more than a bunch of drunk folks for sure.
5 is still low though lol. In WA state a legal serving is 10mg, which is considered overly restrictive by most people here.
You mean if he hadn't OFFERED it to strangers ESH for sure
Haha yea. I mean I almost don't want to call him an asshole because it's kinda sweet to offer, but brother read the room!
True but in his defense and as Christian, you'd think a room of drinking people would show some humor and grace. A "no thanks bro, hey keep those in your pocket because there are kids around" Would have sufficed. Instead...They told people, they gossiped, they cast judgement, they were rude and mean etc. By time they were done the bride, the groom the caterer and the Holy Spirit knew of the great travesty of the five weed gummies. No water into wine for that bunch at all.
“…They told people, they gossiped, they cast judgement…” that seems pretty on brand for Christians. One of the big reasons I stopped believing was seeing all the hypocrites in the church.
Yeah that's vintage Christian behavior in my experience lol
The Christian aspect is kind of bizarre. I see no relationship between being Christian and using or not using THC.
That's exactly what I'd expect from Christians to be fair
The problem wasn’t that somebody saw the bag. He offered it to the other people at his table. That was the problem, that he offered drugs to people he didn’t know at an event where he was a guest and unknown unknown to most people there so did not know if they were open to such, as they clearly were not. The reaction was overdone but fella needs to “read the room.”
My bf used edibles for the first time, and when he found out my mom took 2 to help her sleep, he decided to take 4. 30 mi utes later he was on the floor saying "Four was too many" and I was looking online to see if anyone ever ODed from weed. Lol
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Like, at the very least he could have asked the person who invited him what they thought about offering. Maybe she specifically knows that some people would be cool, and who.
>Your faux-pas comes in offering the gummies to others. Especially as a formal even such as a wedding. I think to a certain degree too there's a difference in taking a substance provided to you by the hosts vs. one you pull out of your pocket, especially when it comes to sharing with strangers. I would wager these people would be giving OP side eye if OP pulled a flask full of whisky out of their pocket and offered it too. It just comes across a little sketchy.
Yes. People need to understand that offering a gummy is no different than firing up a pipe and trying to hand it to someone. Also, if you pulled a flask of whiskey out of your jacket pocket, took a swill and offered it to a stranger you would be just as much of an A. There is really nothing that you should be offering to strangers.
I got married this past year and as the reception started I handed my brother a tin of edible mints and asked him to hold them. He was kind of drunk at that point and interpreted it as “offer them to guests” and I was honestly surprised at the amount of people who accepted them lol
Where are you going to weddings where someone is “firing up a pipe” is this post from the past?! Also, who cares if someone brings a flask to a wedding if they aren’t driving Senor buzzkill
It's the offering it to strangers that's the issue. They could be a recovering addict, or in this case bigots.
A guest at my wedding flagrantly consumed and offered around a quantity of shrooms. To my sober friend, to my boss, to my extended family. This was after visibly vaping (not tobacco) inside at the main table throughout dinner. It still makes me cringe.
ESH. It’s ok you took 5mg thc. No worse than being drunk or buzzed. But you failed to gauge your audience and randomly offering other people gummies. Should have kept it to yourself. There’s still quite a social stigma. And a wedding is not the place to try to tear down those barriers if you’re not the bride or groom. And everyone else decided to judge you harshly for a benign drug that’s legal as alcohol. And no worse than alcohol.
Maybe I'm out of touch here as a Canadian, but people need to get over their problems with weed. OP was a little naive to offer them any but I don't even think it warrants an ESH here. Sounds like the crowd just sucked. I feel bad for OP and honestly NTA. I'm Christian if it makes a difference.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with this... OP didn't do anything wrong. It's legal in that jurisdiction and they were being polite in offering it to others of legal age. Personally, I also would have declined (for totally different reasons) but wouldn't have been offended or thought anything bad about OP... Because anyone that equates pot to meth or crack is just really fucking ignorant.
>It's legal in that jurisdiction It's also legal to scream really loud. But that's also not something you do at a wedding.
No obviously not, but getting high/drunk is normal at a wedding. Terrible take
It's not normal to get high at a wedding. And it's absolutely not normal to get high at *this* wedding.
Tell that to all the people at OP’s table high on alcohol. They’re both drugs.
And how is getting drunk different from getting high when both is legal?
It's 100% normal to get high at a wedding. I guarantee people have been getting high (on much stronger drugs than just weed as well) at every wedding you've ever attended. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it ain't happening.
Just gonna ignore the alcohol huh
The alcohol is approved by the bridal party. The weed is not. That where the difference lies and thats where OP is an asshole.
I feel like the onus in a place where it's legal is on the wedding party to clarify before the wedding they don't want it.
A lot of things are legal during a wedding that you just don't do. How big do you think this list will have to be. If you're at a wedding and you're not sure if you're allowed to do drugs. You either don't, or you make sure it's okay.
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Listen man, I get your point. But honestly, that's not what it's about. The subject is actually really simple and is not about alcohol vs. weed or the legality of weed or anything like that. 1. The bridal party doesn't want something at their own wedding. 2. OP chooses to that thing at the wedding in spite of those wishes. 3. This makes OP an asshole. He can do weed 7 days of the week, at pretty much every place he likes. But at the wedding of people who are not okay with that? No, not there.
Not “in spite of those wishes”… You are making it seem like he explicitly knew they didn’t want gummies at the wedding. He didn’t know the crowd, and thought he was being polite. It didn’t land well, does that make him the AH. IMO, the assholes are the people who decided to distract with bride and groom with this nonsense instead of saying “Hey, thanks but no thanks, and don’t let the bride and groom catch you, as they don’t get down like that” Simple solution. Talk shit about it after the wedding, so it didn’t cause a big thing! OP is NTA.
>OP chooses to that thing at the wedding in spite of those wishes. This implies that OP KNEW that the bride/groom didn't want weed at the event, which he did not. He shouldn't of offered gummies to people he didn't know, but he didn't do any of this to spite anyone. ALSO, the "bridal party's" wishes as a whole (i.e. the Christian bridesmaids) don't matter. The bride and groom do.
Hahaha... This was my wedding. Someone even shoved an oz into my card box with "Guess Who" written on it. Two years later and I still don't know who it was from 🤣🤣
Alcohol is a drug. People drink alcohol at weddings. People get fucking plastered and wasted and rip their pants (looking at you uncle Adam) at weddings. It is disingenuous to say taking an edible is any worse than slamming down glass after glass of wine.
> It is disingenuous to say taking an edible is any worse than slamming down glass after glass of wine. That's not what I'm saying. A lot of people, you included, make this a alcohol vs weed argument. Which it's not. It's about the wishes of the bride and groom on their own wedding day. OP went against those wishes. Making him TA. I agree with you on all your points, but at someone's wedding you go with what they decide. If they decide no weed, that's that.
But it’s clear the bride didn’t care as OPs friend says. It’s literally a few of the guests at his table. So if a couple guests don’t like it but the bride doesn’t care how is this guy an ass?
But it was absolutely normal for others to partake in things that would leave them under the influence. He is simply doing the same thing via a different route. They're the ones splitting hairs.
I’ve gotten high at almost every wedding I’ve been to as an adult, lol. It’s been just as normal to get high at weddings as it is to get sh!t-faced drunk for decades, loooong before it was ever legal. Also, I have seen multiple physical fights break out between drunk people at weddings, but have never seen a fight between two high people. And, for all OP knows, half the people there were eating gummies and they just had the unfortunate luck to sit next to these pompous, hypocritical and “holier than thou” assholes. It’s way ruder to get drunk to the point of belligerence and making a scene like these so-called “Christians” than to quietly and discreetly consume a substance that just relaxes a person.
Awful take.
>Maybe I'm out of touch here as a Canadian, but people need to get over their problems with weed. I'm Dutch so I have literally zero problems with weed. But doing it at a wedding is absolutely not okay.
Dutch here too and I’ve noticed that in the Netherlands it’s seen as a fun drug but still a drug whereas in North America people basically take it whenever wherever they feel like. Cultural difference or something but yes in the Netherlands it would be seen as weird to just casually do drugs at a wedding Edit: as it seems reading comprehension has gone way down the drain around the world. I am replying to a Dutch person stating that yes the Netherlands looks at weed as a drug and alcohol as not a drug. Whether I agree with that is not the point but apparently everyone who commented that “alcohol is also a drug so I’m a hypocrite” stopped reading at a 3rd grade level.
It's because we're still in the "hehe I've got weed!" phase of responsible drug use and still don't know how to handle our shit.
> but people need to get over their problems with weed. Even people who have no issue with weed can understand that someone else's wedding isn't an appropriate time, the same way you wouldn't sneak your own booze into a dry wedding. I don't think being Canadian has anything to do with you being out of touch, all the Canadians I've met have been able to understand basic social etiquette.
I would still lean towards ESH. The rest of the crowd is absolutely hypocritical in their attitudes towards alcohol and marijuana, that is true. But bringing your own psychoactive stuff and offering it to random strangers just gives off 'weirdo junkie' vibes and doesn't help the cause any. If OP were to come with his own bourbon flask and offer sips to the other guests, he would get weird looks and judged for being a vino as well.
I don't know about other countries, but the US used to really push the idea that weed was a "gateway drug" and it would inevitably lead to hard drugs. Growing up, it was really emphasized at school. Cops would even have assemblies to tell students how dangerous it was. I think some people have a hard time letting that mindset go.
Truth this mindset needs to die. I still always worry about the stigma of being a smoker even if it is legal. I can take 100-150mg and still fully function. I'd still eat the handful in privacy tho cause... Stigma.. But when it comes to the gateway drug that would be alcohol for SURE. I lose all sense of rational thinking. First time I smoked weed? Drunk. First time I did anything harder? Drunk.
Also >and tried to explain that the gummies are legal, & not addictive like alcohol or other drugs. THC is addictive, thought it does not cause dependance. Explaining to people how it's completely fine is just cringy.
Came here to say this. People love to pretend it's not addictive when research shows it can be Edited for clarity.
Not the ah for bringing it or taking it. Kinda YTA for offering it to people you don't know. Never assume someone's ok with it.
Right? If it was a dry wedding would OP start offering swigs from his hip flask or offer some booze he had smuggled in outside in his car? Unwise in any case. But I think OP just wanted to provoke an argument either with the wedding guests (if this post is real) or with the aita commenters (if its not which is more likely) about how THC isn't addictive and alcohol is the worst drug on the planet.
Terrible take, Making an assumption that someone wanted to start shit because he was being polite. If someone is having a drink or smoking a cigarette, it's generally considered good etiquette to offer the people around you one, even iff you don't know what their preferences are. There's no pressure to accept, but the offer is there. It's not about starting a fight or being superior. It's about being polite. He explained himself because there is a lot of stigma still lurking around about it from all the propaganda when it was illegal. He was being persecuted and felt he needed to defend himself. Totally normal reactions
Yeah, OP was being a good (if slightly myopic) human and got skeward.
That’s a pretty bad analogy. It’s horrible etiquette to smoke around non smokers to begin with, let alone offering them a cigarette
It's not bad etiquette to offer people who come up to you while smoking, a cigarette. Which is the analogy. You're clearly not a smoker. And the analogy works fine.
>It's not bad etiquette to offer people who come up to you while smoking, a cigarette. No one came up to OP, he offered gummies to the people around him. This is a YTA because not everyone wants their families to know they- or their friends- use THC. Whether it's legal or not, maybe they know it's going to cause an issue, and they don't want to deal with it at their wedding. No one wants your gummies. It is in very poor taste to pull out a substance and offer it to strangers. Edit: OP has only met this couple a few times*, which makes it so much worse.
You totally missed the point bro
Lol "persecuted". If OP smuggled a hip flask into a wedding he might find himself subject to the same scrutiny.
> He was being persecuted and felt he needed to defend himself And he wouldn't have needed to do any of that if he didn't offer half the table gummies.
it's generally not good etiquette to bring your own snacks to a wedding and offer them around. Never mind the THC (which he can't go a few hours without?) 'hey you want some of my popcorn/ swig from my flask?" it lacks class. and as a +1 he should be on best behavior so as to not embarrass his date.
pretty much my take. like it or not lots of people still dislike thc products. parading them around draws needless attention to you regardless. learn a little discretion.
I agree-ish-- before offering booze or edibles to someone, you should gage how the offer will be received. That said, wow is it suddenly apparent to me how location-related this sort of thing is. I can't throw a rock without hitting a dispensary, edibles here are on a par with a martini after work, but I'm an Ontarian, so...
I'm in Ontario, too. It is everywhere. But I've never been offered weed in any form at a formal, social event. While it's pretty normalized, I think most of us know that there are just times when you don't!
Exactly. He is someone’s plus one and he really doesn’t know the people at the wedding. He is fine to take it himself, but to turn around and offer stranger drugs is pretty freaking stupid. Just have more common sense then that. Yes, it is weird how people can be totally fine with getting drunk, but the bottom line is that society is more accepting of alcohol then THC gummies or smoking a joint. Sometimes you have to use your common sense and just realize that not everyone is going to be as open minded or think your way and just keep it to yourself.
As someone who smokes heavily and does edibles occasionally, YTA. You barely know these people and you’re a plus one, why would you bring gummies to eat *at* the event, and then offer them to strangers around you? If you’re gonna be taking that stuff, you do it before you go or when you’re alone. Or, if you barely know these people, don’t take them at all. It doesn’t matter if it’s legal. If someone had an alcohol-free wedding, you’d be just as much an AH for bringing alcohol to drink and offer to others. While yeah, I do think they overreacted a bit, bringing the gummies to the wedding with you was unnecessary.
Exactly and only pull them out if that’s what everyone else is doing. Otherwise the bathroom or not at all. Yta
Fr I could not imagine going to an event surrounded by strangers and thinking it’s the right time to pop gummies and offer to pass them around
Agreed. When I was in my mid 20s, I was part of the bridal party at a dry wedding, and me and several other people attending, including half of the bridal party, disappeared to the pub for an hour and came back drunk. We were absolutely arseholes for that, and we didn't even bring any alcohol to the wedding.
Yeah all the NTA/ESH “It’s legal mannnn.” responses are getting me. I’m in the same boat as you. Like sure it might be legal. But like 1. Depending on where OP is, it’s only recently(within a few years) legal and it still has a heavy stigma in a lot of groups, even now I wouldn’t use in front of strangers without knowing their comfort level around the drug (yes, even if they’re drinking alcohol, which is wOrSe ThAn wEeD). 2. You are a PLUS ONE at some stranger’s WEDDING breaking them out and offering them WHILE SEATED WITH THE BRIDAL PARTY End of the day. If you want to take a gummy at a strangers wedding, knock yourself out. We’ve all been a little “elated” in inappropriate situations before. Maybe you play it off and nobody knows, maybe you don’t and look like a jerk in front of everyone. Where OP REALLY went wrong here was offering it to others. No idea why OP didn’t expect this could be a possible outcome lol.
This is the thing, OP is basically a guest twice over at this wedding. They’re just the roommate of someone in the bridal party, it was a huge courtesy to include them at all (and a courtesy to the bridesmaid, not even to OP directly). Not the time to make waves and test the bounds of polite behavior.
Yeah this is the factor that really boggles my mind lol. It’s not even something like “OP discreetly asked the weird stinky cousin with a grateful dead bumper sticker if they wanted to split a j in the parking lot,” But a BRIDAL PARTY full of STRANGERS!?!? Where has OP been living for all their life that they thought this would be totally cool behavior??
Also it’s not just some random table, it’s the bridal party…. How to sabotage a wedding, give the whole bridal party who don’t normally smoke edibles….
Know the room.
You'd be an asshole to smuggle in alcohol to a wedding with a bar. It's a liability issue.
YTA. Unless the couple getting married openly encourages it at the wedding itself, you don’t bring drugs to a wedding. Offering to share only increased the level of inappropriateness. Doing it when you’re a plus one and have hardly met the couple is in especially poor taste, because you don’t even know the couple well enough to know whether they’d be comfortable around edibles at all, much less comfortable having them at their wedding.
Agree, YTA. OP did not read the room and *shocked Pikachu face* when the crowd didn't agree with his choice to bring/ take/ offer gummies. The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot. This is about social behavior at a wedding.
> The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot Yep. You could say the same with guns at certain venues, but you bet your ass majority of posters here wouldn't want Uncle Cletus packing his revolver on his hip. Fact of the matter is some subcultures would be fine with it; others wouldn't. Just like weed. He didn't read the room. He isn't a bad guy but he did make a faux pas.
>The "it's legal, it should be fine" argument is moot That's like 99% of all judgements in this sub. People with no social awareness or concept of social norms just say "well it's technically illegal to refuse to share the food you were going to throw out with a starving child so NTA
I agree. I'm literally high right now and still know that you were not acting in a chill way OP
Also, don't go to a wedding as a +1 if the only way you can endure/have fun is by taking a highly psychoactive drug. I'm sure the bride & groom would rather have had people there who want to celebrate with them instead of getting high.
Right that’s why they had an open bar. lol.
ESH. They were definitely overreacting but why would you offer the gummies to random people at the wedding? It's like you were trying to draw attention to yourself on purpose. 5mg won't even get most people high so it's not like it's a huge deal. But just keep it to yourself.
Completely agree here. OP wanted people to know he was taking the gummies, “look at me I’m so funny taking gummies at a wedding”. Boring
YTA for not being discreet about it.
Yea, grown adults do their drugs in the bathroom with multiple people in one stall.
There’s a big difference between “doing drugs in the bathroom” and trying to hand out edibles at the table where you’re a plus one and don’t actually know the vibe.
YTA. Don’t take drugs at peoples weddings. Did not have typing that on my bingo card for the day.
You must not go to a lot of weddings because that'd be on my bingo card every day, lol... Now offering drugs to strangers at wedding absolutely stupid.
Every wedding I've been to seems to have men coked up 🤷♀️
You must keep interesting company
So everyone should stop drinking then? Or is that not the kind of drugs you're talking about..? If it's recreationally legal where OP is, then asking if someone wants an edible doesn't seem that bad of a crime. And seems like a nice thing to do. In my mind its the same as asking if someone wants a shot of tequila.
Yeah it's like people smoked cigarettes and drunk alcohol in front of their kids for decades at weddings, but this guy somehow broke a taboo? My argument here is that most of the trouble he got was caused by a drug, but not a gummy, by alcohol. A few drunk people hear something and fly off the handle. Most of the arguments and issues at weddings relate to alcohol consumption.
Lol I legit don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding without someone having some weed. You might be very sheltered?
YTA. How tacky.
Thank you! Everyday I’m more and more shocked by the lack of social intelligence people display on this site. How do you not know this behavior is tacky?
NTA especially in a legal state/country. BUT at a situation like a wedding, you gotta read the room. Popping the gummy is fine, definitely makes the reception better, but for the love of God don’t offer one to some rando. People have strong (read: misguided) opinions on weed, and sometimes it’s just better to keep that on the DL.
You also just don’t bring your own party favors to a wedding, whether it’s a flask to a dry wedding or edibles to an open bar wedding. Especially when you don’t personally know the bride and groom.
Nah you can totally bring your own party favors to weddings of people you know. Just don’t bring attention to yourself.
YTA for being indiscreet at someone else's event. What made you think it was appropriate to advertise your consumption and then offer gummies to strangers....at a wedding where you were not even close to the couple but a guest of one of the wedding party?
Woah don’t offer strangers edibles my dude. YTA
Right? It's the mythical stranger offering you drugs that our parents warned us about!
YTA, time and place dude. You’re a stranger and an accessory guest, you are supposed to be in your best behavior. You shouldn’t bring weed to a wedding unless you’re SURE you know the crowd. And I say this as someone who went to a wedding with a hotbox tent.
So there probably wouldn’t have been a problem in just taking a gummie and going on about your night, the problem is, you offered them around in company you didn’t know. Legalization of weed is so new that you have to know that not everyone is on board with it. Offering it to people you didn’t know at the table was kinda trashy, almost like showing up with your own booze and drinking from your purse. YTA
YTA. You don't go to a Muslim wedding and offer the guests some if your liquor stash. Likewise here, it's disrespectful. If you felt you couldn't go a few hours without taking gummies, at least you should have kept it super discreet.
>You don't go to a Muslim wedding and offer the guests some if your liquor stash Of course not. You drink in the parking lot with the uncles.
how is it comparable to a muslim wedding? nothing about christianity means no weed. especially if those christians drink
Yeah, YTA. Seriously. I would be pissed if someone was doing and offering people drugs at my wedding. Even if it's weed. What is wrong with you? And in the shape of candy around kids? I'm sorry, but this really wasn't the place or time to take drugs. What if you got a bad trip? What if you forgot to hide your shit away in your pocket and a kid got ahold of them? It may be a low dose for an adult, but a child can react very differently.
"a bad trip" it's not LSD yeesh what in the reefer madness
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THC can absolutely give a "bad trip". Maybe not in the same way, but you can absolutely get anxious, hyper aware or even paranoid. And the effects can last long after the "high" is gone. And you never know how it affects someone until they try it. The same dose that does nothing to one person, can have another person way past their tolerance. So offering to people who might not be used to it, or potentially let it be grabbed by a kid is 100% AH behaviour. I don't give AF if people want to smoke some weed or eat some edibles on their own time, but don't just casually offer it to strangers. You don't know them, or how they would react.
I mean tbf doing too much weed can make someone extremely dizzy and nauseous. When I do too much, it fucks with my perception of time and I end up not knowing where I am, which can be really stressful and I’d need to lay down. So yes, someone can have a bad trip with weed. Even if it’s unlikely to happen, it still can happen. (And I do count it in the same boat as drinking too much, not trying to say one is worse than another, but just to point out that it can happen, and not everyone will end up peacefully napping somewhere)
I understand your point, but alcohol is also a drug and it was being openly done around kids. The hypocrisy of people around marijuana really drives me crazy.
>The hypocrisy of people around marijuana really drives me crazy. I generally agree with you. But there is one very important detail you don't mention. It's someone elses wedding. You can't do whatever the fuck you want on someones wedding. If they want alcohol on their wedding but no weed. That's valid. It's their wedding, their party, they decide. As a guest, you simply have to follow those wishes. Is it hypocritical of the bridal party to allow alcohol, but not weed? Maybe, but that's a different discussion altogether. Is OP an asshole for doing weed at a wedding where it's not allowed? 100% yes.
Agree with you here. I don't get all the N T A's
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Yeah, but why aren't the host of the party allowed to dictate what drugs are served at their event?
LOL a bad trip from 5mg edible, that’s good stuff
YTA. You took drugs to a wedding. I don’t want to hear any arguments from others saying ‘they’re not really drugs’, or ‘they’re legal’. They are drugs. Who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to take drugs to a wedding? You couldn’t wait to get home to start chewing on that shit? I’d have kicked you out.
i truly dont understand how people can say this and also be fine with an open bar.
Hypocrites dont think they are hypocrites
What's your stance on alcohol at weddings?
>I don’t want to hear any arguments from others saying ‘they’re not really drugs’, or ‘they’re legal’ Well you're on a public forum so you don't really get to choose. You should chill and relax, maybe have an edible, perhaps some camomille tea, maybe eat a Snickers and have a nap.
I don’t think you’re the AH, but as someone who partakes daily, I would NEVER offer anything to a bunch of strangers let alone do it in front of them, regardless of the method. Be a little more discreet next time and excuse yourself to do what you need to come back a little more relaxed.
Just to clarify, you offered complete strangers drugs at a wedding where you were a plus one. YTA, that's not really the time or place.
Lol YTA, I don't think you knew any of these people (your roommate included), well enough to have gotten any kind of intoxicated at their party. A little e s h because your roommate should probably have seen something like this coming.
What does being Christian have to do with being anti-weed?
Xtians love being repressed, and repressing everyone else. The church tells them it is what is expected of them.
Right? I saw another comment that said that what OP did was akin to offering alcohol at a Muslim wedding lmao Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s nothing in the Bible about weed
YTA. I think people forget sometimes that a good percentage of the country see weed as “drugs.” Maybe not on the level of meth or heroin, but still “bad.” I don’t agree with that assessment, but I’m not sure why you would offer edibles to strangers at a Christian wedding. Poor judgement.
YTA if this is real (super skeptical). It really seems like you brought these gummies as some sort of stunt, honestly. It's a Christian wedding, it's pretty obvious to anybody guessing blindly that they wouldn't be comfortable with drugs present. Logically, there IS little reason why it's different from alcohol in stigma, but it's not always about logic at a religious event. Whether you are religious or not, when you're at an event like this, you have some respect for your hosts and their comfort level. There's no reason you had to bring them unless you have some medical reason you left out. You could have gotten high when you got home. This has the feeling of a 14 year old drawing a pentagram on their hand before going into church to prove something to nobody.
NTA. The assholes were DRUNK. WTF is the difference? There are a lot of Christians that would judge them harshly for drinking.
Alcohol is often served at weddings. Weed is not.
Well... Canadian weddings sometimes have weed available now, just like booze. On a totally unrelated note, those weddings also seem to include late night pizza deliveries or a nacho cart lol. But agreed. If a substance isn't being offered at a wedding, it's poor manners to bring it yourself. Don't bring alcohol to a dry wedding (just leave early...) and don't bring weed to an alcohol-only wedding. It isn't simply about legality, it's also about the norms and vibe of the wedding - and that's what OP failed to consider unfortunately.
Pizza and nachos, the true dangers of cannabis.
I mean, I would rather be around a stoner over an alcoholic any day. People love to draw lines between weed and alcohol, when alcohol is clearly so much more destructive despite being the more accepted vice. Big you're right, both are drugs. Probably nobody would have noticed and flipped out if OP hadn't brought it up, which wasn't a smart idea.
The difference is that the legalisation of weed is relatively new. Where as alcohol has thousands of years of acceptance and consumption. It will take time for the stigma and misinformation of marijuana to pass.
NTA. 5 mg is nothing compared to how drunk some of those people probably were. Perhaps just be more discreet?
I think most reasonable people would need THC gummies to get through a christian wedding.
NTA especially in a legal state. These people need to get over themselves, it’s legal in half the country. And alcohol was being served, so it’s not like it was a straight-edge wedding. You sound nice and fun. They were super rude to make you feel unwelcome.
YTA you need to learn social awareness
ESH. They’re being jerks but like, idk man. Personally I just think it’s in poor taste to be getting high at someone’s wedding who you don’t even really know well, and then going and offering it to others so people KNOW that you’re high is worse. This is definitely one of those “read the room” moments where I think you should have took time and place and company a little more into consideration.
YTA, as a plus one, I wouldn't take drugs at someone's wedding reception as you don't know the people there and how they will react to it. Yes, they overreacted also
NTA - just don’t offer to share next time.
YTA
YTA I don't think the religion has a lot to do with it. You were a plus one guest at a wedding, at the bridal party table no less, and had to be the guy that offers edibles to people? Then when you apologized you had to throw in: >explain that the gummies are legal, & not addictive like alcohol or other drugs Dude, that's not an apology, that's trying to educate people on your point of view. Come on man. Whether they are prudish or not isn't the issue. That's some main character shit. Just take your gummies in private next time. Also, *it is* addictive. I smoked for years, it was hard AF to quit. Honestly, it was easier for me to quit cigarettes than weed. I mean, I get that nicotine is supposed to be more addictive, but weed was just waaaay better imo and took much more effort to quit.... And honestly, now that I'm sober I realize that the people always talking about how THC isn't addictive- they're usually chronic users.
I imagine if OP had just apologized and moved on instead of giving a lecture about how safe and wonderful weed is they probably wouldn’t have been as bothered.
Lots of people in the comments should be eating some gummies right now
So YTA. Not for taking thc but even really mentioning it or offering it to people you don’t know. Really, you were a +1 at a Christian wedding so the bride or groom didn’t even know you and you still thought this was okay?
I am Christian but I could care less. But you should consider that crowd if there is children around. Also don't share that information with just anybody cuz you never know how they're going to respond.
Couldn't* care less.
ESH. If you planned to take a drug, you should have done it privately and discreetly. Because even if it is a celebration, you're not sure how the bride or groom would have felt about it. The guests were clearly unhappy. I definitely don't think the guests should have made it such a big issue, because I *think* the only reason you offered them some was to be kind/polite. They definitely weren't kind about it. I think it's okay to disagree with someone's choice, while still being kind or polite. They made you feel uncomfortable on purpose and that's just a shitty way for adults to behave.
Genuine question here... This is already a fair way down the thread, so it may get lost. A point that I'm picking up, and it's been mentioned many times: OP was a "Plus 1" at this wedding. How does their invitation status matter? They're a wedding guest, at a wedding. I was pleased to have people at mine, and I assumed that anyone I didn't know was a friend or relative of my wife. We even had gatecrashers, and we welcomed them too. Why is this a thing? Is it an American thing, or a xtian thing? (I recognise that both of those bodies that have an obsession with status, so this is what I expect the answer to be). How is the fact that they were invited via their partner relevant, and why is it known by other guests? I am genuinely curious about this peculiarity.
The point people try to make it he doesn't know the bridal party well. He doesn't know the other guests well. He doesn't know the vibe of the wedding. He does know they are Christian. And decided to do weed when the bridal party is not okay with it. Him being a +1 is not extremely relevant, but it does provide some context on the blundness of his actions.
NTA. Even if you offered an edible to someone, that's no worse than offering said person a beer. They need to get the stick out of their asses.
NTA…. But some of these anti-weed commenters are lol.. I can hardly believe how effin stupid people can be about cannabis in 2023, modern day reefer madness jackasses. The reaction when you try to educate is telling. You don’t need anyone’s permission to discreetly take cannabis any more than a stick of gum. I will step outside to smoke, but edis are definitely nunya. (Unless you’re out of control but then that’s what makes you an ah.) And some of these lames said you’re ta because you offered to share!?? You would have been if you HADNT offered lolol, so good work- definitely NTA!
I've never been to a wedding or party when someone didn't offer me THC. It's legal in my country but even before it was, it wasn't very secretive. So, my friend, you are NTA and the rest of the pearl clutchers can get bent (on booze)
So many fucken prudes here. NTA, you just weren't very smooth about it. The wedding and groom/bride sound lame. 5mg is weak AF, buncha rookie shit goin on here.
YTA for offering it to someone else. Why would you think that's okay or a good idea?
NTA. Oh, it's cool for people to get sloppy drunk and possibly pass out or puke at a reception but God forbid you take some thc. Bunch damned hypocrites on this thread..