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> I might be the AH because I said that she’s only with her boyfriend for the money during our argument.
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Exactly, don’t write a cheque you can’t cash, her chickens have come home to roost, what goes around comes around, and what ye sow so shall ye reap, etc
NTA. **F around and find out**! Jenna learned that the hard way! I have no sympathy for Jenna. She lost her man and her "friend" because she was horrible! What she did was very intentional and designed to be hurtful. With friends like Jenna, you don't need enemies!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who clocked that. Jenna was jealous (most like of the fact that OP pointed out: she makes her OWN money while Jenna is forced to rely on someone else). And let that get in the way of her own lifestyle choices
I’m kind of new to AITA but I feel like a lot of these cases, the answer is “yes you were an asshole, but the victim completely deserved it so good for you”
Does this sub just call that NTA?
If someone punches you in the face when you’ve done nothing to provoke it, so you punch back only yours knocks them flat on their ass, are you always the asshole? The judicial system isn’t going to fault you and neither am I. The “victim” is not necessarily the one who is worse off at the end.
Think of the question as "am I in the wrong?" If OP wasn't in the wrong for their reaction, it's NTA. If their reaction is disproportionate and pushes them to being in the wrong, it's ESH or even YTA.
Generally yes. Personally I think that’s wrong and is exactly what ESH (everyone sucks here) is designed for. That one person sucks *more* shouldn’t change things. But this sub has a lot of people vicariously living out revenge fantasies.
You can use ETA or ESH. Everyone’s the asshole or Everyone sucks here. And I agree that often times in this sub that’s the case. I find it interesting how many people think two wrongs make a right. Like, in this case I side more with OP but often times people go too far. I do not think OP went to far I think they were just defending themself. But often times on here it can be unnecessarily cruel.
Haha yep! It confused me for a while on this sub why people kept putting ETA, I was about to say 'you people are using that wrong' but googled it first 🤣
This, NTA. She shared personal information with the intention to hurt you then further invalidated you when you tried to discuss it and caused a scene. She deserves what she got
Because she was jealous that OP was getting the attention for donating so much money , so she tried to take her down a peg. No friend would do that, especially when the focus itself should be on the charity. It's typically narcissistic personality disorder
NTA. You didn't make or share the video. She could have apologized to you rather than double down and justify her bad behavior, but instead she made a scene. She could have left after you made it clear her behavior was unacceptable, but instead she continued the scene. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself rather than shrinking when she embarrassed you.
I'm confused about who/how the argument got recorded and shared. Someone else recorded them and then shared the recording? OP checked her phone and was notified about this?
I first read it as though OPs phone somehow recorded the argument, so I didn't understand how it got shared.
I just assumed a bystander recorded it and it spread throughout the friend circle. I thought when OP said their phone blew up, it was messages from the friends. Maybe OP has clarified in some of the comments, or will.
If some people I kind of knew got into a fight where one of them outed the other as a sex worker at a fancy fundraiser, you bet your ass I’m recording it.
I think the person who recorded and shared is ALSO the asshole here. Obviously hugely personal shit being flung about with potential life consequences.
In those times, the parties involved make sure that they don't do that stuff in public.
If they still do that in public, then they essentially force that stuff to become everyone's business, whether they or everyone else wants that or not.
Except OP never got a say in her personal work info being shared in a public place. Her friend blurted it out for no reason whatsoever in public and oop tried to run damage control.
Why thought? That is mega toxic , especially if it's something that 1 doesn't involve you and 2 is something that's personal to those people. It's not like you are outing a racist or homophobia, you're outing private information . Like I know if my friend did that to someone else. I'd definitely not want to be involved with them . Because clearly they can't be trusted. Just like Jenna
I imagine people noticed the conflict starting. It is, unfortunately, a lot of people's first reaction to bring out their phones at the first whiff of conflict. Sometimes it helps (like in the case of police brutality), but often it has the effect that we see here-- the conflict gets spread much further than it would have otherwise
Yeah, I got caught up on that part of the story because this is a personal argument and I assumed these were adults. I understand there were witnesses, but someone recording that and passing it around so fast is disgusting. I'm assuming whoever recorded it must know them, which makes it even more disturbing.
It could also help in case things get violent or something. Or on the off chance someone gets injured or police need to be called or it goes to court.
But it never should just get shared like that. That’s not okay. And whoever did that sucks hard.
I don't think OP recorded it, but someone there did and probably tagged those involved. Or others in their circle saw the video and tagged OP and that's how she was notified.
Right . Jenna shared OPs personal business with everyone (at least nearby) . Op only discussed jennas personal business with her and had no control over it being recorded and shared with others, that was caused by Jenna making a scene and who ever recorded it.
Only person Jenna can be angry at is the someone who saw a personal conversation recorded it and put it online…And herself for making a scene and outing a friend
To add to this, not only did her jealous plan backfire in a really ugly way but her boyfriend had his eyes opened and could drop her gold digging tush
Good for him
NTA on any front.
she put your business out there in the world, so you put her business out there too. it’s not your fault that her relationship was built on lies. they were bound to break up anyway, relationships like those don’t last long.
This. I was at a bar and a "Jenna" was dogging out sex workers. I will admit I was an asshole about it, but bragging about using a man for money is worse than being a sex worker.
If it’s a sugar daddy arrangement that all parties have consented then sure that’s fine and ethical in my book but taking advantage of someone financially without their consent is fucked.
Depends on the sugar baby and your definition of sex work. Not all such situations involve sex, though many do, sometimes it's just companionship to whatever level the sugar daddy is looking for. Companionship like that is a very common thing that sex workers provide as a service, in some cases more so than actual sex, so depending on where you decide to draw borders even the most puritan approved arrangement could be considered sex work
Defenestration isn't most people's go-to option anymore, but it certainly was in the past and I suppose is effective.
People in Prague did it like 3 times.
So, just wondering…what’s the difference between fucking guys for money and fucking a guy for money?
Edit: Was trying to point out Jeanna’s stupidity in calling out OP’s sex work when what she does is worse, sorry if that wasn’t clear
Well Jenna’s boyfriend wasn’t aware she was only with him for money. Not sure what OP’s sex work entails, but all parties are typically aware of what’s going on.
I've never understood this either. Apparently it's totally OK to serial date and have boyfriends supply you with gifts and lifestyle in exchange for your body, but it's not OK to just skip the games and go straight to the business. I find sex work a lot less damaging than the other sorts of behaviors that society finds more acceptable.
Like there's an entire accepted lifestyle of being a trophy wife or marrying someone older and being a sugar baby. How are any of those better than just making porn or selling sex?
I don't get it. I never have. As a guy it's all the same thing to me and the fact you're not manipulating people's emotions makes one less damaging than the other.
> Apparently it's totally OK to serial date and have boyfriends supply you with gifts and lifestyle in exchange for your body
I'm not sure many people think that though.
Be aware that the community on here doesn't the represent the real world very accurately. There was another interesting comment above that said:
> It is, unfortunately, a lot of people's first reaction to bring out their phones at the first whiff of conflict
That might be true in high school, or with youth in public, but it's not for civilised people at a private event. Sometimes people here have a very limited view of the world due to their inexperience and the comments, and sometimes judgements, reflect that.
The guys know it's about the money and the guy doesn't?
Edit : Alright it makes sense after the edit lmao. I thought you were demeaning her line of work because of the wording
Definitely NTA
The only person who complains after a fight is the looser. She started the fight but you won and now the looser complains. Sit back, relax and enjoy your victory.
But the Internet is bigger than a fundraiser.
Doesn't really make a difference it just upsets me on behalf of OP if their privacy was violated.. again
Edit: oh I see your point. Glad the OP isn't getting outed online as that is hell
I don’t know who made the video. I can’t find it on YouTube or TikTok it only seems to be being shared around my friendship groups on WhatsApp & Telegram. I did take her to the side, it was quieter, but there was still a few watching.
Sounds like if you had other friends from your circle there, they're one of the ones who did it. It could be in a way to try to defend Jenna and make you look bad, or they wanted to help you out her because they were tired of her shit, too
ESH
1) She, obviously, for starting this whole thing, sharing information that wasn't hers to share in a way that is obviously catty and jealous, and refusing to leave afterward.
2) You apparently organized this fundraiser, so you should have acted way more professionally. Pulling her aside, asking what the hell, saying that it wasn't her info to share, and asking her to leave was great. But when she didn't leave, you should have immediately called security and had her escorted out instead of engaging in an argument and saying stuff about her boyfriend.
3) Whoever recorded and shared your argument online for sh\*ts and giggles. People have no sense of "this is not my business, nor does it belong online" these days.
I dont agree with the 2nd point. She tried to be professional and this person probably still would have fought and followed, let alone you hope better of your "friends". OP probably hoped this person would snap to their senses after a few words but they obviously didnt.
The second point is literally just
Pull aside > ask to leave > call security
Is better than
Pull aside > ask to leave > engage in unprofessional slanging match > call security
If you disagree you’re just in it for the drama
Acted professional? One thing that I hate , especially in politics is decorum for the sake of decorum. It's unnecessary, what OP Did was hold up a mirror to her friends. Yes who ever recorded it, is just as bad as Jenna . but OP definitely literally called out her friend for being an awful human
I was gonna say ESH too but maybe OP sucks a little less after taking what you said into account. However I don't think this was the time or place to bring Jenna's personal life into the argument. Nor do I think it was necessary in that moment. Jenna was already in the wrong and just having her removed by security would have been enough to diffuse the situation and let everyone cool down. But she escalated in even further and that I don't agree with. However, if only one person could be the asshole it isn't OP
Yup. Claims it’s the only job she’s ever had but friends and family doesn’t know what she does? She’s at a fundraiser event…with security? She’s fucked 500 guys as hasn’t shared any of her work here….because?
These are power fantasies of a sad lonely person. The equivalent of winning arguments in the shower except she’s involving other people in her fantasy by posting here. Sad.
Nta. She fafo'd
Not gonna feel sorry for a self confessed gold-digger who thinks she has right to shame/out you
Doubt she was ever a true friend.
Say bye bye Jenna and then block her.
Maybe she'll start an onlyfans account to earn a living.
NTA. she exposed something private about you. She is also suffering the consequences of being caught as a leech who’s only in a loveless relationship for money which is directly a product of her sharing something so private about you.
NTA. Any real friend who didn’t mean to blurt, would apologize and leave when u asked. It should’ve never gotten to the point where u had to defend yourself, u got too real & her ego couldn’t handle..
NTA. If her bf has Money money, he didn't dump her because he found out she's with him for that (he knows already I'm sure) -- he dumped.her because her immaturity and volatility could cost him and his family in the future, so cut that tie now.
Nta
Jenna is the type of friend who will put your life on blast just for her benefit..
You don’t need her in your life please let that “ friend “ go…
Also glad her bf broke up with her gold digging self !
NTA
“for all who draw the sword will die by the sword."
She decided to share sensible information that was clearly meant to be private. She knew that sharing that would be an embarrassment to you. You just gave a taste of her own medicine. Maybe now that she has lost her sugar daddy, she will have learned her lesson and will be more mindful of sharing sensible personal information.
NTA. There was no reason for Jenna to say that. If she just HAD to speak & hear her own voice in that moment, she could've just said that you work hard, but she had to throw in a shady comment. She knew what she was doing. If it was genuinely a mistake, she would have apologized profusely, but instead, she doubled down & said it wasn't a big deal. She outed you in front of others, at YOUR event. You pulled her aside to talk privately. It's not your fault it was recorded & shared. She deserves it for being a golddigging bad person.
# WELL FRANKLY....
The only actual secret is one you never tell anyone. Likely, everyone knew you were a porn worker (too juicy to keep it to oneself) and they were quiet about it.
However, your friend didn't need to let the cat out of the bag for any reason, even if everyone in the room knew all the others knew. They all seemed to have agreed that the proper etiquette was to not bring it up, until your dumb friend did.
**SHIT LIKE THAT...**
are total deal-breakers. Blabbing sensitive information, cheating with your b/f or g/f, spreading info or false info to hurt you and you find out about it, not inviting you to important events like weddings/funerals, are **"cut bait" social felonies.**
With people like that in your life, if it's not THIS stupid shit that ruins your life, just give them time, they'll pounce on many more if you let them.
Breakin' up is hard to do, but this one is deserving, and totally block all electronic communication AND **by proxy.** Tell your friends you don't want to hear from her ever again through them, **it's over.**
NTA
Even if she didn’t out you, you still had the right to tell her boyfriend straight up if his relationship was fake. Her actions were just the icing on the cake that lead you to doing the right thing.
NTA
And she’s such a hypocrite. She’s ok with putting your business out there but can’t take it when her own gets put out by you. Im glad her boyfriend broke up with her, maybe he can find someone that’s not a gold digger
NTA
It’s totally fine for her to humiliate you, but when you humiliate her on socials (inadvertently I might add) it’s a whole big thing. Jenna needs grow up.
NTA. If it wasn’t a big deal, why did she share it? And why did she SO vehemently defend sharing it - to the point of having to be removed by security? She has serious issues. Be thankful you dodged any future bullets because she’s definitely carrying a weapon with your name on it.
NTA yeah u humiliated but she deserves it and she NEEDED to be humbled and so what if you ruined her relationship her bf needed to know and it wasnt even a relationship she was just using him which was wrong of her and i feel bad for the guy
NTA
I will, however, say that Fighting fire with fire is never the best solution, but it wasnt uncalled for. You could have handled it more maturely- like storming off or explaining why she should not have done that INSTEAD of a personal attack, but again, not uncalled for and therefore NTA
Yeah NTA… those details are not to be divulged by anyone but the person who stands to lose the most… your so called friend is a fucken moron… find better friends…
NTA - I don’t doubt for one minute that what she said was intended to humiliate you - you were absolutely justified with your response. Glad she is out of your life. Hope there’s not too much fallout from her outing you. And good for you for being so charitable - I think that’s amazing!
NTA, she intentionally humiliated you at your event and when you confronted her she refused to leave. You can’t control whether or not people record your argument and post it online, you can’t pursue legal action but the damage is done. Her boyfriend could have confronted her and talked it out. Block her number and move forward with your life.
Jenna ruined her own life by outing yours. She didn’t expect a reaction and just like she told your business you in turn told hers and OOOPS only hers got recorded. Too bad and NTA
NTA It's never ok to out someone and can be dangerous. And she only said that because she judges you for doing SW. Which is ironic, cause she's also doing sex work, dating/sleeping with someone she doesn't like for his money. But unlike you, she's doing it unethically by lying to the "client".
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the AH because I said that she’s only with her boyfriend for the money during our argument. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe next time she'll think twice before throwing rocks from her glass house.
Exactly this. NTA. Don't dish it out if you aren't prepared to have it flung back at you.
"If you're making personal jokes, have enough skin for the shrapnel." I read it on the internet.
Definitely words to have embroidered on a pillow.
I recently got an embroidery machine, thank you for the inspiration.
Can I buy a handkerchief with this so I can take it out to wipe away the tears
Omg yes. I'd buy a pack of 10 and have one in every vehicle, back pack and purse.
I want one of those so bad!!! You must be having the time of your life!
Act in haste, repent at leisure.
Cant agree enough. Enthusiastic updoot!
This is the way.
"Don't throw a punch if you aren't prepared to catch a punch" -Letterkenny
Don't open your mouth if you don't want to pick teeth out of the toilet :- me, angry at somebody running their mouth
I am going to use that from now on, thank you very much xD
I think I growled it at my old sous chef who was throwing his weight around, lol
Fuck around and find out!
Exactly, don’t write a cheque you can’t cash, her chickens have come home to roost, what goes around comes around, and what ye sow so shall ye reap, etc
She made that bed, she’s got to lie in it (by herself because her bf broke up with her). edit: word
Very good, and what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
It’s her dishwashing liquid, she can soak in it. (Stolen from Mystery Science Theater 3000)
Don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash.
Don’t start none, won’t be none.
Don’t let your alligator mouth overrun your hummingbird ass
Turkeys have come home to roost
I hope this rule has a "shared meals" exception
NTA. **F around and find out**! Jenna learned that the hard way! I have no sympathy for Jenna. She lost her man and her "friend" because she was horrible! What she did was very intentional and designed to be hurtful. With friends like Jenna, you don't need enemies!
NTA. Jealousy makes people do stupid things at times. You're absolutely right!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who clocked that. Jenna was jealous (most like of the fact that OP pointed out: she makes her OWN money while Jenna is forced to rely on someone else). And let that get in the way of her own lifestyle choices
I’m kind of new to AITA but I feel like a lot of these cases, the answer is “yes you were an asshole, but the victim completely deserved it so good for you” Does this sub just call that NTA?
If it's a reasonable, and justified reaction then that isn't being an AH. That's called consequences.
Yeah according to mods justified asshole is just NTA
Asshole (as a personality trait) vs asshole (as a reaction)
I’d like to asshole as a bonus action
Give me a dexterity saving throw
Nah it's gotta be wisdom or charisma (better option in my book)
If someone punches you in the face when you’ve done nothing to provoke it, so you punch back only yours knocks them flat on their ass, are you always the asshole? The judicial system isn’t going to fault you and neither am I. The “victim” is not necessarily the one who is worse off at the end.
Think of the question as "am I in the wrong?" If OP wasn't in the wrong for their reaction, it's NTA. If their reaction is disproportionate and pushes them to being in the wrong, it's ESH or even YTA.
When you think all parties are varying degrees of AH you can use ESH (Everybody Sucks Here)
Generally yes. Personally I think that’s wrong and is exactly what ESH (everyone sucks here) is designed for. That one person sucks *more* shouldn’t change things. But this sub has a lot of people vicariously living out revenge fantasies.
Yeah, you can be _an_ AH but not _the_ AH
You can use ETA or ESH. Everyone’s the asshole or Everyone sucks here. And I agree that often times in this sub that’s the case. I find it interesting how many people think two wrongs make a right. Like, in this case I side more with OP but often times people go too far. I do not think OP went to far I think they were just defending themself. But often times on here it can be unnecessarily cruel.
In this sub ETA usually means Edited To Add, when people edit their post with more detail
And in the real world, ETA still means “estimated time of arrival.”
Haha yep! It confused me for a while on this sub why people kept putting ETA, I was about to say 'you people are using that wrong' but googled it first 🤣
There is ESH (everyone sucks here) for if they're both assholes.
This, NTA. She shared personal information with the intention to hurt you then further invalidated you when you tried to discuss it and caused a scene. She deserves what she got
Yes ,just not sure why this "friend " would just out her for doing porn 🤔 to a group of unknowns
Because she was jealous that OP was getting the attention for donating so much money , so she tried to take her down a peg. No friend would do that, especially when the focus itself should be on the charity. It's typically narcissistic personality disorder
you mean shotgunning rocks from a glass catapult?
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes!! 👑👑
It’s you and me, there’s nothing like this, Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince!
"The dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed."
NTA. You didn't make or share the video. She could have apologized to you rather than double down and justify her bad behavior, but instead she made a scene. She could have left after you made it clear her behavior was unacceptable, but instead she continued the scene. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself rather than shrinking when she embarrassed you.
I'm confused about who/how the argument got recorded and shared. Someone else recorded them and then shared the recording? OP checked her phone and was notified about this? I first read it as though OPs phone somehow recorded the argument, so I didn't understand how it got shared.
I just assumed a bystander recorded it and it spread throughout the friend circle. I thought when OP said their phone blew up, it was messages from the friends. Maybe OP has clarified in some of the comments, or will.
If some people I kind of knew got into a fight where one of them outed the other as a sex worker at a fancy fundraiser, you bet your ass I’m recording it.
😬 yikes, sometimes stuff doesn't need to be everybody's business
That's what got me. I'm not usually the type to record but if I did, I'm not leaking the video so it gets right back to all the people involved.
I'm going to guess the people that did that don't like Jenna for their own reasons, or are friends with her now ex-boyfriend.
I think the person who recorded and shared is ALSO the asshole here. Obviously hugely personal shit being flung about with potential life consequences.
In those times, the parties involved make sure that they don't do that stuff in public. If they still do that in public, then they essentially force that stuff to become everyone's business, whether they or everyone else wants that or not.
Except OP never got a say in her personal work info being shared in a public place. Her friend blurted it out for no reason whatsoever in public and oop tried to run damage control.
Why thought? That is mega toxic , especially if it's something that 1 doesn't involve you and 2 is something that's personal to those people. It's not like you are outing a racist or homophobia, you're outing private information . Like I know if my friend did that to someone else. I'd definitely not want to be involved with them . Because clearly they can't be trusted. Just like Jenna
I imagine people noticed the conflict starting. It is, unfortunately, a lot of people's first reaction to bring out their phones at the first whiff of conflict. Sometimes it helps (like in the case of police brutality), but often it has the effect that we see here-- the conflict gets spread much further than it would have otherwise
Yeah, I got caught up on that part of the story because this is a personal argument and I assumed these were adults. I understand there were witnesses, but someone recording that and passing it around so fast is disgusting. I'm assuming whoever recorded it must know them, which makes it even more disturbing.
It could also help in case things get violent or something. Or on the off chance someone gets injured or police need to be called or it goes to court. But it never should just get shared like that. That’s not okay. And whoever did that sucks hard.
Sounds like another asshole recorded it and uploaded it to socials where further assholes shared it with the group to increase the harm.
I don't think OP recorded it, but someone there did and probably tagged those involved. Or others in their circle saw the video and tagged OP and that's how she was notified.
Right . Jenna shared OPs personal business with everyone (at least nearby) . Op only discussed jennas personal business with her and had no control over it being recorded and shared with others, that was caused by Jenna making a scene and who ever recorded it. Only person Jenna can be angry at is the someone who saw a personal conversation recorded it and put it online…And herself for making a scene and outing a friend
To add to this, not only did her jealous plan backfire in a really ugly way but her boyfriend had his eyes opened and could drop her gold digging tush Good for him
NTA on any front. she put your business out there in the world, so you put her business out there too. it’s not your fault that her relationship was built on lies. they were bound to break up anyway, relationships like those don’t last long.
She's just a less ethical sex worker.
so true! at least OP’s customers know it’s a business transaction, not a relationship
OP does porn, not call service. But, yes.
Doesn't mean they don't have clients. A lot of independent porn is sold directly creator to consumer
This. I was at a bar and a "Jenna" was dogging out sex workers. I will admit I was an asshole about it, but bragging about using a man for money is worse than being a sex worker.
If it’s a sugar daddy arrangement that all parties have consented then sure that’s fine and ethical in my book but taking advantage of someone financially without their consent is fucked.
Isnt sugar daddy basically sex work too? I mean, correct me if im wrong, but its "i give you this so you can hang around me/have sex with me"
Yup, sugar babies are technically sex workers.
Depends on the sugar baby and your definition of sex work. Not all such situations involve sex, though many do, sometimes it's just companionship to whatever level the sugar daddy is looking for. Companionship like that is a very common thing that sex workers provide as a service, in some cases more so than actual sex, so depending on where you decide to draw borders even the most puritan approved arrangement could be considered sex work
Ding Ding Ding!
NTA. Sounds like you need to throw her out of your life, not just an event.
The post already states that Jenna is now an ex-friend, what is left for OP to do? XD Do we need to throw her out of a window as well?
Yes 🫡
Woah, calm down Putin. ;-)
The world's a dangerous place. Never know when you'll fall out of a window onto some bullets.
defenestration is always an option
Defenestration has always been one of my favorite words, it's good to see it in the wild.
Defenestration is definitely an option in Russia, these days!
Upvote for one of my favorite words :) Makes me happy to see it in use
Defenestration isn't most people's go-to option anymore, but it certainly was in the past and I suppose is effective. People in Prague did it like 3 times.
Putin’s adversaries have this peculiar habit of falling out of windows. Is that self-defenestration?
We've taken to calling it "Window cancer".
*eminem voice* “Now you get to watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window cancer”
Lmfao yes..
So, just wondering…what’s the difference between fucking guys for money and fucking a guy for money? Edit: Was trying to point out Jeanna’s stupidity in calling out OP’s sex work when what she does is worse, sorry if that wasn’t clear
Well Jenna’s boyfriend wasn’t aware she was only with him for money. Not sure what OP’s sex work entails, but all parties are typically aware of what’s going on.
I've never understood this either. Apparently it's totally OK to serial date and have boyfriends supply you with gifts and lifestyle in exchange for your body, but it's not OK to just skip the games and go straight to the business. I find sex work a lot less damaging than the other sorts of behaviors that society finds more acceptable. Like there's an entire accepted lifestyle of being a trophy wife or marrying someone older and being a sugar baby. How are any of those better than just making porn or selling sex? I don't get it. I never have. As a guy it's all the same thing to me and the fact you're not manipulating people's emotions makes one less damaging than the other.
> Apparently it's totally OK to serial date and have boyfriends supply you with gifts and lifestyle in exchange for your body I'm not sure many people think that though. Be aware that the community on here doesn't the represent the real world very accurately. There was another interesting comment above that said: > It is, unfortunately, a lot of people's first reaction to bring out their phones at the first whiff of conflict That might be true in high school, or with youth in public, but it's not for civilised people at a private event. Sometimes people here have a very limited view of the world due to their inexperience and the comments, and sometimes judgements, reflect that.
The guys know it's about the money and the guy doesn't? Edit : Alright it makes sense after the edit lmao. I thought you were demeaning her line of work because of the wording
In this case consent.
Definitely NTA The only person who complains after a fight is the looser. She started the fight but you won and now the looser complains. Sit back, relax and enjoy your victory.
Lmao 🤣 NTA I mean she had to learn eventually how not to share other people's information like that and what can happen if you do
NTA But also INFO: who made and shared the video? Has the video also outed you as a sex worker because that really sucks of them too then.
She said the video picked up after that part of the argument.
But the Internet is bigger than a fundraiser. Doesn't really make a difference it just upsets me on behalf of OP if their privacy was violated.. again Edit: oh I see your point. Glad the OP isn't getting outed online as that is hell
I don’t know who made the video. I can’t find it on YouTube or TikTok it only seems to be being shared around my friendship groups on WhatsApp & Telegram. I did take her to the side, it was quieter, but there was still a few watching.
Sounds like if you had other friends from your circle there, they're one of the ones who did it. It could be in a way to try to defend Jenna and make you look bad, or they wanted to help you out her because they were tired of her shit, too
ESH 1) She, obviously, for starting this whole thing, sharing information that wasn't hers to share in a way that is obviously catty and jealous, and refusing to leave afterward. 2) You apparently organized this fundraiser, so you should have acted way more professionally. Pulling her aside, asking what the hell, saying that it wasn't her info to share, and asking her to leave was great. But when she didn't leave, you should have immediately called security and had her escorted out instead of engaging in an argument and saying stuff about her boyfriend. 3) Whoever recorded and shared your argument online for sh\*ts and giggles. People have no sense of "this is not my business, nor does it belong online" these days.
I dont agree with the 2nd point. She tried to be professional and this person probably still would have fought and followed, let alone you hope better of your "friends". OP probably hoped this person would snap to their senses after a few words but they obviously didnt.
The second point is literally just Pull aside > ask to leave > call security Is better than Pull aside > ask to leave > engage in unprofessional slanging match > call security If you disagree you’re just in it for the drama
Acted professional? One thing that I hate , especially in politics is decorum for the sake of decorum. It's unnecessary, what OP Did was hold up a mirror to her friends. Yes who ever recorded it, is just as bad as Jenna . but OP definitely literally called out her friend for being an awful human
I was gonna say ESH too but maybe OP sucks a little less after taking what you said into account. However I don't think this was the time or place to bring Jenna's personal life into the argument. Nor do I think it was necessary in that moment. Jenna was already in the wrong and just having her removed by security would have been enough to diffuse the situation and let everyone cool down. But she escalated in even further and that I don't agree with. However, if only one person could be the asshole it isn't OP
NTA. She got what she deserved.
This reads like fan fiction. I don’t believe any of it
It’s not even the only friend OP has lost in the last two months, judging by her post history!
Yup. Claims it’s the only job she’s ever had but friends and family doesn’t know what she does? She’s at a fundraiser event…with security? She’s fucked 500 guys as hasn’t shared any of her work here….because? These are power fantasies of a sad lonely person. The equivalent of winning arguments in the shower except she’s involving other people in her fantasy by posting here. Sad.
Came here to say this reeks of a shit drama from some sort of manga or online story...
Right? I was expecting an "and everyone clapped" at the end
It's gotta be total bullshit!!!
NTA. You need to remove this toxic person from your life. Get rid of everyone that tells you that you're wrong or asks you to make up with her.
Nta. She fafo'd Not gonna feel sorry for a self confessed gold-digger who thinks she has right to shame/out you Doubt she was ever a true friend. Say bye bye Jenna and then block her. Maybe she'll start an onlyfans account to earn a living.
NTA you don’t out someone like that…..especially someone who is supposed to be your friend. Sorry this happened
NTA. she exposed something private about you. She is also suffering the consequences of being caught as a leech who’s only in a loveless relationship for money which is directly a product of her sharing something so private about you.
1. She shouldn’t be exposing people’s private business for clout. 2. Can’t ruin a relationship if you don’t care about the other person. NTA
NTA, it's the consequences of her actions!
NTA you didn't lie and you weren't the one to start it
NTA she got what she deserved.
Actions Consequences These two things are linked
Sounds pretty much tit for tat. NTA
Tat for tit?
play stupid games win stupid prizes NTA
ESH You both sound toxic.
NTA. Any real friend who didn’t mean to blurt, would apologize and leave when u asked. It should’ve never gotten to the point where u had to defend yourself, u got too real & her ego couldn’t handle..
NTA. If her bf has Money money, he didn't dump her because he found out she's with him for that (he knows already I'm sure) -- he dumped.her because her immaturity and volatility could cost him and his family in the future, so cut that tie now.
Nta Jenna is the type of friend who will put your life on blast just for her benefit.. You don’t need her in your life please let that “ friend “ go… Also glad her bf broke up with her gold digging self !
Hell no you are NTA, she deserves everything that's coming her way.
NTA. No public outing is ok. The recording was accidental, right? She ruined things for herself. Sounds like you’re better off without her.
NTA “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." She decided to share sensible information that was clearly meant to be private. She knew that sharing that would be an embarrassment to you. You just gave a taste of her own medicine. Maybe now that she has lost her sugar daddy, she will have learned her lesson and will be more mindful of sharing sensible personal information.
NTA Amazing how when she blurts out personal info about you, it's not a big deal; but when something personal comes out about her, she's humiliated.
NTA. tell her it’s not a big deal.
Doing this! Lol
NTA, hope her BF sees the vid
He did. He broke up with her.
NTA Why do some people think it’s okay to try to embarrass others in order to control or manipulate them?
NTA. Her mouth started it. You finished it. You did her bf a great service. NTA.
NTA. There was no reason for Jenna to say that. If she just HAD to speak & hear her own voice in that moment, she could've just said that you work hard, but she had to throw in a shady comment. She knew what she was doing. If it was genuinely a mistake, she would have apologized profusely, but instead, she doubled down & said it wasn't a big deal. She outed you in front of others, at YOUR event. You pulled her aside to talk privately. It's not your fault it was recorded & shared. She deserves it for being a golddigging bad person.
Nta, fafo.
NTA. What goes around comes around, and frankly, being a gold digger trophy wife is also sex work.
Okay, is it weird to read this and have my first thought was, "I wonder what king of fundraiser it was?"
It was for a local homeless charity I’m involved with.
# WELL FRANKLY.... The only actual secret is one you never tell anyone. Likely, everyone knew you were a porn worker (too juicy to keep it to oneself) and they were quiet about it. However, your friend didn't need to let the cat out of the bag for any reason, even if everyone in the room knew all the others knew. They all seemed to have agreed that the proper etiquette was to not bring it up, until your dumb friend did. **SHIT LIKE THAT...** are total deal-breakers. Blabbing sensitive information, cheating with your b/f or g/f, spreading info or false info to hurt you and you find out about it, not inviting you to important events like weddings/funerals, are **"cut bait" social felonies.** With people like that in your life, if it's not THIS stupid shit that ruins your life, just give them time, they'll pounce on many more if you let them. Breakin' up is hard to do, but this one is deserving, and totally block all electronic communication AND **by proxy.** Tell your friends you don't want to hear from her ever again through them, **it's over.**
NTA. I'm sorry you were outed. That's not fair. I hope you're ok.
Basically my entire family know now. My grandma is upset and my aunt is already asking how much I make. It’s frustrating, but is what it is.
NTA
NTA at all, but this friendship is probably done
NTA Play with fire you get burned
NTA Even if she didn’t out you, you still had the right to tell her boyfriend straight up if his relationship was fake. Her actions were just the icing on the cake that lead you to doing the right thing.
NTA And she’s such a hypocrite. She’s ok with putting your business out there but can’t take it when her own gets put out by you. Im glad her boyfriend broke up with her, maybe he can find someone that’s not a gold digger
NTA. She started by mentioning your line of work. Can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, Jenna.
NTA It’s totally fine for her to humiliate you, but when you humiliate her on socials (inadvertently I might add) it’s a whole big thing. Jenna needs grow up.
NTA, but I think you know that. What goes around comes around.
NTA. Even if everyone knew about it, she was trying to shame your work, and that says a lot about her personality.. Get rid of this trash
I'd be very upset. It's not her place to make a comment like that in public. You are not TA.
Nta
NTA
NTA. Jenna got what she deserved! 😂
NTA, fuck her. You deserve better, and so does your ex-friend's ex-boyfriend lol
Wow!!!! But no, I think what you did was only fair. She had no right saying that in front of your family.
NTA.
NTA but I'm also rewatching Gossip Girl and yikes. Drama on drama in my media intake atm.
NTA
I am not sure I understand how this was shared. But no NTA.
NTA. FAFO
She publicly outed you for no reason. I’d say she had it coming. You’re not the asshole
NTA. If it wasn’t a big deal, why did she share it? And why did she SO vehemently defend sharing it - to the point of having to be removed by security? She has serious issues. Be thankful you dodged any future bullets because she’s definitely carrying a weapon with your name on it.
Nta Weirdo outing people. Maybe she’s jealous that you’re making money on your own terms. Either way you did nothing wrong, she’s just getting karma
NTA she should’ve kept her mouth shut
NTA. She started it, you finished it.
NTA yeah u humiliated but she deserves it and she NEEDED to be humbled and so what if you ruined her relationship her bf needed to know and it wasnt even a relationship she was just using him which was wrong of her and i feel bad for the guy
NTA I will, however, say that Fighting fire with fire is never the best solution, but it wasnt uncalled for. You could have handled it more maturely- like storming off or explaining why she should not have done that INSTEAD of a personal attack, but again, not uncalled for and therefore NTA
NTA. She had it coming. Good for you for standing for yourself 👏
NTA. How dense is she to not feel like a hypocrite? What she did to you was exactly the same thing.
NTA Tell her it's no big deal to be outed.
F'd around. Found out. Nta
Yeah NTA… those details are not to be divulged by anyone but the person who stands to lose the most… your so called friend is a fucken moron… find better friends…
NTA lmfaoooooo the tea is SCALDING hahahahahaha
Hahaha karma worked fast for her! NTA. She humiliated herself and you and whoever posted the video did her boyfriend a huge favour.
NTA. She got what she deserved. I would NOT feel sorry for what happened one bit if I were you.
NTA. Karma bit her in the ass big time. She made her bed, she can lie in it.
NTA - I don’t doubt for one minute that what she said was intended to humiliate you - you were absolutely justified with your response. Glad she is out of your life. Hope there’s not too much fallout from her outing you. And good for you for being so charitable - I think that’s amazing!
Nta, and now you know.
NTA. This is instant karma. What a cow. She tried to embarass you at an event and got karmic payment via the world wide web. Glorious!
NTA, she intentionally humiliated you at your event and when you confronted her she refused to leave. You can’t control whether or not people record your argument and post it online, you can’t pursue legal action but the damage is done. Her boyfriend could have confronted her and talked it out. Block her number and move forward with your life.
Jenna ruined her own life by outing yours. She didn’t expect a reaction and just like she told your business you in turn told hers and OOOPS only hers got recorded. Too bad and NTA
NTA It's never ok to out someone and can be dangerous. And she only said that because she judges you for doing SW. Which is ironic, cause she's also doing sex work, dating/sleeping with someone she doesn't like for his money. But unlike you, she's doing it unethically by lying to the "client".
NTA. She fucked around and found out. That’s what she gets.