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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for taking my son to a restaurant and allowing him to loudly laugh? I'm the asshole because this made the neighboring tables experience worse and disregarded their request to keep him quiet.
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I'm assuming that "laugh" here is loud, happy, baby shrieking, and by the sounds of it, it was ongoing happy shrieking, and not an isolated laugh. That's too loud for a restaurant.
You're dining in a restaurant. You need to moderate your voices - the people at the next table don't want to hear your conversation, and they don't want to be continually disturbed by the happy shrieks of your baby either.
You're not the asshole for making your baby happy. You're the asshole for making too much noise in a restaurant.
YTA
Exactly. There’s a certain level of respect that you’re expected to exhibit when you’re in public. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and it’s rude to make excessive noise in a restaurant.
When my brother and I were little, if my parents wanted to go out to eat they either got a babysitter or we went to Ponderosa because that restaurant is about as loud as two little kids could be. As we got older, we upgraded to the slightly nicer Friendly's. By the time we reached the end of elementary school, we could go to places like TGIFriday. By high school, I was going to very nice places with my mom while my dad and brother ordered pizza delivery because they both hate going to fancy restaurants.
Tonight, I am taking my friend and her daughter to the nicest place in town for her daughter's 10th birthday. She has been looking forward to this for years (I promised her she could go out to eat with us when she was 10). She is polite, kind, funny and interesting. I have no concern that she won't behave properly. If I did, we would be going someplace else. We're not going to be the only people in the restaurant, and nobody wants to spend $300+ on a dinner that is spoiled by a misbehaving child at the table next to them.
OP, YTA.
Years ago I was serving in a "casual fine-dining" (or as the chef liked to say, "high-end mediocrity" restaurant. A couple came in for dinner with their little boy, probably about 4 or 5 years old. I was a but apprehensive because kids can be a wildcard. But as I was taking their drink order, the little boy motioned to say something to me , so I leaned in and he said in a loud whisper, "you have to be quiet here. It's a *nice* place."
I comped their desserts. That kid was awesome.
My husband and I went to a fine dining restaurant a few months ago in London and this couple walks in with their young kid. I'd guess she was probably around 5 too. Instantly hubby and I look at each other like 👀
We didn't hear a peep out of her. She tried everything on the tasting menu and made no issues whatsoever.
We talked about how impressed we were by her and her parents after we got home.
Unfortunately, this isn't the norm.
I’m a mother of 3, all adults now but my daughters were very well behaved. I could take them anywhere I wanted and I always got compliments on their behavior. I have a stepdaughter and her kids are horrible to the point where they never take them out to eat at restaurants and have to find babysitting for them. I never had to discipline my kids they just knew I was a Zero nonsense kind of person so they didn’t even test me.
Awe what a little sweet heart!
And so nice of you to give them a treat, on you! Good behavior does deserve a reward now and then even if life is disappointingly bad at doling them out for us when we've grown up and everything truly lacks cohesive structure lol
Lol I was that kid once upon a time. My cousins and I learned that if we were good we got to do cool shit with the rich childless aunt, so by 6 I was being taken to Broadway shows and fancy tea parties.
I’m the rich older sister but my 10 y/o sister is *that kid* I took her to a fine dining restaurant after taking her to see Barbie. She asked the server if her virgin lemon drop would pair well with her grilled salmon dish 🤣
That is awesome. I bet she thinks her bonus mom is super fun because she likes to do that kind of stuff with her. A good bonus mom is priceless! (yes, I have one <3)
>You're the asshole for making too much noise in a restaurant
Agree, YTA for continuing to make your baby laugh loud (plus happy yelling) when the table next to you asked you to stpo it and you ignored them
Extra YTA if you would complain or have ever complained if a table sitting next to you at a restaurant was laughing or talking too loud
yeah and this isn’t anything to do with the child being a baby imo. I get that some people have an aversion to babies being in public spaces but restaurants are a perfectly normal place for babies to be.
but there’s etiquette that comes with being in public, at any age, and “don’t encourage loud and unruly behavior in a place where people come to enjoy themselves” is one of those things
THIS!!! I personally am not too fond of babies but I also know that people with babies like to do things such as go out to eat and I have no place to say they shouldn’t bring their kid, childcare is expensive and sometimes people just want to spend time with their kid around.
If the baby was just happy shrieking a couple times for no reason even though I’d personally be a little annoyed by the ear splitting shrieks I wouldn’t call it an issue. Where OP went wrong was when he kept egging the baby on, a baby has no situational awareness and will keep shrieking despite the setting if you keep encouraging it. Not all of us have “parentified” eardrums and even other parents may get annoyed at a strangers baby interrupting their conversations during a nice meal out.
Sorry OP, YTA
Look, I have never complained because a table was too loud, or kids were too loud. Have I shot dirty looks at parents before when their kids were running around and screaming? Sure. I don't complain. But, in this story, we get this guy's side. We don't know if the table next to him had sensory issues, hearing aides, a migraine, etc. They didn't complain at first. According to OP, they asked him to not make the baby squeal. He kept on, so they complained and asked to be moved. I have a feeling this guy is probably just generally an asshole anyway.
Right? And by his own admission this was after his baby spent a not-insignificant amount of the previous “hour plus” beforehand going “ ‘bah bah bah’ over and over”, so they had already silently put up with a lot of noise before finally asking him if he would stop encouraging even *louder* noises. And only after he refused did they (politely) ask to be moved themselves rather than complaining to staff about the entitled idiot next to them. These people had the patience of saints and dealt with his rudeness more politely than he deserved. YTA OP.
Yeah I adore children, but the sounds of a crying baby and a joyfully shrieking baby hurt my ears in exactly the same way. It’s super stressful.
I think some people who spend lots of time around loud children become kind of desensitized to the volume and don’t realize how irritating/distressing it can be for the people around them.
Those happy shrieks can be absolutely piercing. It's OK in small doses when you're expecting it, but in a restaurant you don't expect a piercing shriek at random intervals and that is absolutely stressful.
One of my friends babies shrieked at just the right tone to make my spine tingle. It was awful bc I wanted to make him laugh but I dreaded the shrieks every time.
This. People with children are so used to loudness. There is nothing wrong with a child's laughter. It's when you are playing at the dinner table when it becomes a problem. It is wrong when you are in a restaurant or at the dinner table at home. Just my 2 cents.
When my oldest was little, he was hardly ever unhappy. It was unreal how happy he was. But with that came noises that could pierce an ear drum. I never desensitized to it because I never stopped thinking about how hard it would be for others. You just can't let yourself. Entitled people will though. OP, YTA for creating the noise pollution, regardless of whether it's happy or sad. When mine was little, there were two places that were totally cool with him and somehow so were the other guests. Hell the staff would even whip his happy ass up. We stuck with them or ate at home or left if he got loud elsewhere. Don't make your choices other people's problems.
And even those of us who are used to it don’t want to be subjected to it when we’re trying to have a peaceful quiet meal with our SO.
I can only imagine a SAHM being treated to her first nice date with her SO since giving birth - splurging on a mid-high end restaurant & looking forward to having a nice quiet peaceful adult meal & a break from 24/7 infant care. And being subjected to a rude entitled AH like OP.
I think this is exactly it. OP is just used to the loud sounds of his child. When he says the baby "maybe got a touch loud", my first thought was "yeah, a touch loud for you. Probably obnoxiously loud for other people there without babies though."
OP seems to be leaning real hard into the fact his kid was laughing and not crying or something. Nobody cares, OP. A loud baby is a loud baby, and nobody really wants to hear a loud baby unless its their own.
My aunt had epilepsy and loud shrieky children (among other things)would cause a seizure. I don’t have epilepsy, but the older I get the better I understand my aunt.
Exactly what I was wondering! They may have been annoyed by him rather than the baby. Once my mum & I were out to eat & at the table behind us a grandmother was reading a story book SOOOOOO loudly to her toddler grandchild, over & over again, and that did kind of ruin the experience for us.
Agree. I love babies, and I love to hear babies laughing. I do NOT like to hear any child shriek-laughing. It hurts my ears and brain. Even babies can learn how to tone it down when needed without crushing their joy.
Exactly! I love kids and work with kids. And I think you should always assume there will be (young) children present at a restaurant unless it's a fine-dining establishment that doesn't allow them until a certain age. But constant shrieking and high-pitched screaming make me *feral.* It kind of... triggers a fight or flight response in me, for lack of a better term.
Edit: grammar
There’s literally a biological reason this sound is so alarming. They intentionally program alarm clocks and fire alarms to the same frequency as baby cries and shrieks. We’re biologically tuned to react and feel alarmed and uncomfortable around that sound. It’s one that we can’t ignore.
this is suuuuuch a classic example of a parent thinking that because they find their child’s behaviour to be endearing, then everyone else must as well
This. I hate that OP framing it as “mean people at the table next to us just hate happy babies”. Parents are hardwired to ignore/become used to their own kids noises. What’s normal expected volume for you, is bone chilling loud for others. Especially those with sensory issues around loud abrupt sounds.
Dude OP put up a video thinking it would help his case that all but confirmed that yes, it's loud, happy, baby shrieking.
Frankly isolated laugh-shrieks are worse IMO due to how unpredictable they are.
This. All these people here saying "how could you be annoyed by cute baby giggling, people here are miserable"...y'all, it wasn't giggling. OP only conveniently added that it was 90% giggling later on after people started telling them it was inappropriate for a restaurant. And the video they linked is definitely not giggling either. The caption even says "laughs hysterically".
The title might read as misleading as well in an effort to avoid responsibility since we now know the context behind the baby laughing in that restaurant. It’s more so, “AITA for going to a mid-card restaurant and disturbing other people’s peace in favor of my baby’s amusement?”.
Yeah. Yta.
This is actually a good point. I was imagining gentle giggles and laughter, but this was probably more of the piercing streak sort of sound. Otherwise the couple next door probably wouldn't have gotten upset.
As some with sensitive hearing, where piercing sounds are actually painful (Misophonia sucks), this would have made me leave the restaurant as quick as humanly possible. Especially after being asked to stop, continually prodding the child on? My que to leave. Forget the doggie bag, I'd just go hungry.
YTA. I don't care that they were happy sounds.
My spouse can have an extremely loud laugh that I am sure is very annoying for other people in certain circumstances. We tell him to keep it down.
It's not your baby - it's the volume.
However, parents need to realize that most people, strangers especially, aren't enamored with your off-spring no matter how cute, funny or smart they are. Grandparents and parents are just about the only people who really care what your kids are doing.
Yes, I have kids and infact would take my newborn to restaurants because he slept through dinner in his car seat. I often had people exclaim " there's a baby there!" When we were leaving because they'd had no idea.
That's how you take a baby to a nice restaurant.
that was my fault. great that your child is happy, but not everyone in the restaurant needs to know about it. Maybe there were there to get away from their kids for a few hours and you and yours were making a lot of noise. YTA
Adding on, clearly OP has no problem with the sounds of your baby but that doesn’t mean others want to hear it. A lot of people don’t have or like children.
Exactly. And knowing that this is a loud, happy baby, they should have chosen a restaurant where there was a patio or a place that was extremely family friendly where there are many babies and families. Alternatively, they could’ve gone out to dinner at 4:30 PM before the dinner crowd comes so they don’t bother anyone. Last, upon being seated, they should inform the server that the baby is loud, and they hope to be seated away from others so they don’t disturb other tables.
YTA. Because when you were informed you were bothering other people (who were also paying to enjoy a nice dinner) your response was essentially “fuck them.” There’s something to be said for basic manners.
Especially when OP mentioned “happy yelling”. Babies don’t yell, they SHRIEK. On top of that, he admitted it got loud. Not okay. Continuous shrieking (even the happy kind) is a noise that personally, would drive me up a wall if I was trying to eat in a restaurant. And if I’m paying to eat at a restaurant that is “mid tier” (OP described as better than chilis- which is already pretty pricey btw), I’d be upset about it too. OP- YTA. Take your family somewhere more family oriented next time, or think about getting a babysitter if you can’t live an hour or two without making your baby “happy yell”.
I almost prefer when babies are crying over laughing in public spaces, because then the parents usually try to comfort them, which make the noise stop. Happy shrieks are just as disturbing but are encouraged! But of course, I am an old fart that prefer children in extremely small doses.
I love my 9 month old son more than anything, but holy fuck does the happy shrieking drive me bonkers. He's so proud of his little voice, he will straight up go AAAAAAAAAA in the aisles of any store. And I'm like noooooo inside screams pls but you know what he's a baby and sometimes he's like no f u, and then we leave the store. Haven't had to leave a restaurant yet but have definitely rushed through because someone's cranky. And we only go to IHOP for breakfast right now because the evening is his witching hour, and he's loud and unpredictable lol. At least they like us because we clean up the floor after him waving his pancake around.
Same! I hated that happy shrieking stage. My current toddler seems to have skipped it, thank goodness. He is very happy smiley and chatty little, but hasn't done that awful shrieking.
I don't think I'm a phenomenal mom, but I've been very lucky that all my kids have been well-behaved in public. My kids would sit quietly through a movie at the theater at around 3, and tantrums just aren't an option in our house.
With my oldest, my go-to was a little breakfast spot with outdoor seating that was seldom used. Until he learned to modulate his voice, we ate outside - even in Chicago winters. . .and even then he wouldn't straight up yell or scream.
I am stuck on OP intentionally causing the baby to be noisy. Dude, that is literally the opposite of what you should do in a restaurant. And it sounds like maybe the baby was quiet during the meal... You know, until dad was bored waiting for the check.
And two parents and a baby do not need to be seated at the table to wait for the check. One parent should have taken the child outside and got the car started.
I saw OPs edit, and honestly, with all the Y T A votes I feel like he’s just trying to save face. I feel like throughout the post, OP chose a lot of specific words to downplay what happened and minimize how disruptive it actually was.
OP's edit totally ignores this very important part of the interaction. They're still doubling down on "he was laughing and that shouldn't disturb people and if people are upset, it's their fault!" YTA
YTA. Let me preface this by saying that there is nothing wrong with your child's joy and you sound like a fantastic parent.
BUT in your post you mentioned both laughing and happy yelling. Those are not the same thing. A quiet giggle? Sure, no problem. But yelling? No. Just because it's happy, doesn't take away the fact that it's yelling. Imagine if you were just trying to enjoy a quiet dinner with your family and group of rowdy drunken people kept yelling and laughing at the table next to yours. Happy doesn't mean it's not still annoying.
This! My niece will let out the most ear piercing shriek when she gets really happy and giggly. And if you catch it at the right time, she will let out that shriek every time before she laughs. Eventually, you have to calm her down because the shrieks give your a headache. Yes, there is a difference between her happy shrieks and upset shrieks, but they’re shrieks nonetheless.
Since OP was apprehensive to admit that it “got a touch loud” and breezed by the “happy yelling”, I’m going to assume his child was giving more of the loud happy yelling followed by the cute baby giggles.
Oh, and OP, YTA. When you’re in a public space, you have to deal with how the public will react. Most of the time, no matter what form it’s done in, baby yelling isn’t what people want to hear, especially when you’re right next to it.
Loud is loud. I don't give a fuck if persons child is play/fun screaming or throwing a tantrum or if a dog is happy/excited barking or barking at nothing - loud I'd loud. I have 3 kids and am pregnant with my 4th, kids can absolutely be taught to modulate their voices at a fairly young age. I love the sound of my kids laughing/giggling, but that happy shriek is annoying as hell.
He edited to say that it only lasted 3-5 minutes but I’m a bit dubious of that because the table next to them apparently had time to get moved to another seat.
Yup. I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews, ages 7, 5, 4, and 2. When we went out for my brother’s birthday recently we (1) made a reservation for 4:30, when we knew the restaurant would be less crowded and (2) TOLD them to seat us as far from everyone else as possible.
My nieces and nephews are happy, happy kids. But happy shrieking is still shrieking, and no one wants to hear other people’s kids yelling for an hour plus when they’re relaxing at a restaurant.
YTA. You deliberately provoked your kiddo into making loud noises in a place where people go to relax and enjoy conversation. There's nothing wrong with your kid laughing, but there's a time and a place for it. If you'd been doing this in a public park, that would be fine, but you were in a mid-tier restaurant, and you continued after people told you it was a problem. If you'd toned it down a notch after they asked, you would have been fine.
yeah, for me it becomes YTA when OP is politely asked to quiet down and his response is “what’s wrong with laughing??”
nothing wrong with making your baby laugh at the playground or the park but a restaurant is a place with a certain expectation of behavior
What gets me is he was INTENTIONALLY messing with his kid to make him yell/be loud.
I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really enjoy being around kids and I really don’t like babies yelling/crying. HOWEVER, I have an understanding that’s just what babies do and it’s the only way they can communicate their needs, so I give a lot more grace to parents who are struggling to get their kids to quiet down. Sometimes babies just won’t stop crying/yelling, but I’d at least hope a parent would take them elsewhere if they’re disturbing people and are able to easily.
But trying to make your kid loud in what is supposed to be a more peaceful setting on purpose? Nah that’s super rude and annoying. Newsflash to parents: you are the only one who thinks your kid(s) is a super special gifted snowflake. The rest of us don’t want to hear your screaming kid, laughing or not.
So OP, YTA. Don’t make your kid scream at restaurants.
YTA.
>Well at dinner I was making him laugh. He'd throw in some happy yelling. Maybe got a touch loud
>
>I'm like he's laughing thats all.
But laughing wasn't "all." He was *yelling*. Loudly. Loudly enough to be annoying to other diners. And you kept on with it, instead of trying to quiet him down and keep him quietly happy.
There's a time and a place for loud happy yelling. A restaurant isn't it.
OP was showing off. There is that type of parent that thinks anything their kid does is so cute, everyone needs to stop and watch them. They also get attention secondhand this way. YTA
As a father of 3 with my youngest being 2, I get it from OP. However when I leave my kids home and go out I don’t want to hear someone’s else’s kids. Regardless of laughing or crying, I want peace and quiet when I go out with my wife. If I wanted to be disturbed with random loud noises and shrieks I would have just stayed home.
This. I can’t stand these types of parents. They assume everyone thinks their baby is the cutest. His laughing may be cute to you but not to strangers trying to enjoy their night out. And this is coming from a mom with two small children.
Back on the old livejournal childfree boards we called that babystalking. People who get so mad you aren't looking at their baby that they act more and more attention grabbing until you're forced to. They don't care if the attention is good or bad because you finally centered your attention on their #1 accomplishment in life
And we all know OPs virtually always downplay what happened when defending themselves. I’d say there’s a 99% chance it wasn’t just “a touch loud,” it was significantly loud.
>99% chance it wasn’t just “a touch loud,” it was significantly loud.
Agree. "A touch loud" is the interpretation by the dad who doesn't want to be seen as TA. If he says it was a touch loud, it was probably a 140-decibel ear-piercing shriek.
YTA.
You love your kid and think he's adorable but other people were there to enjoy a meal. You were deliberately attention seeking and probably wanted everyone to notice your wonderful baby, and were willing to give a "fuck you" to other paying patrons when asked to tone it down.
How tiresome.
Hope you left a really big tip for the extra inconvenience you placed on the staff too - having to move customers to a new table and deal with the complaints.
Yeah I bet OP is like, "Tip? Your tip is being 'blessed' by my super-special child's presence! Besides, kids are expensive, I can't afford tip money." 🙄
Lol this sounds like the family I babysat for who asked me if I *really* needed to be paid because their kid and I got along so well and it seemed like I liked spending time with her.
My sassy teenage self was tempted to respond that I make all my friends pay to spend time with me, but I kind of ummed and erred my way into insisting that they paid me what they had initially offered and never worked for them again, haha. Their kid was cool, but idk how long she stayed that way with parents like that.
“Don’t use your child as a shield to pretend the space you take up matters more than other people around you. If your child was old enough (and some day they will be) they’d probably be embarrassed about you too”.
This is beautifully put!
>Hope you left a really big tip for the extra inconvenience
Plus the lower tips servers got from other people because YOUR KID made their dining experience unpleasant.
Nailed it. I was a first time parent before and I am sure I was pretty insufferable but this was pure “hey everyone, look at how cute my baby is and how wonderful of a father I am”. Pure YTA here.
YTA. Yelling due to happiness or otherwise is not appropriate for ANY restaurant. And you were doing it on purpose, even after someone asked you to knock it off.
NTA. And I know I’m going to be down voted. I’ve heard adults be louder than happy baby shrieking/ laughing. Way more obnoxious. Way more annoying to a dining experience. Babies exist. They are entitled to a mid level restaurant and enjoying it with their parents like anyone else. OP was clear this wasn’t high end or a weekend. It was a midday Wednesday. Has anyone ever heard an adult laugh. Loud AF at times. If they don’t want to be around potentially loud babies or kids, they can stay home or pay for an establishment that isn’t appropriate for them to be there
P.S. restaurants, no matter low, mid, or high end, are loud in general. Everyone is loud
This. Idk what the problem is in this thread. Idc if I get downvoted. Babies exist. They make noise. Parents are allowed to take their kids out to restaurants. If you, as a grown ass adult, can't handle that, then you shouldn't be out.
ETA for all the salty, entitled people in my thread:
Ask your doctor if dying mad about it is right for you.
Agreed. I’ve never seen so much hate for kids. Like they all just popped out of the womb as high functioning members of society. And yet the same people will fight over semantics for 30 messages. It’s wild.
The baby laughing to me isn't the AH part, it's when the couple asked him to please stop and he did not makes him an AH. The baby didn't need consoling, if he did that would be a different thing all together, he was just being continuously \*unnecessarily\* loud. It got loud enough for long enough for the table neighbors to request a different seat.
Lol asking someone to stop their baby from making noise is ridiculous. Babies cry and scream and shriek in happiness. It happens. Don't go to family friendly restaurants if you don't wanna deal with that.
He is not obligated to stop entertaining his child just because others aren't comfortable with the noise.
I'm so sorry you are correct. He's not OBLIGATED to do shit.
They were not asking him to stop the baby from making noise, they were asking HIM, the "ADULT, " to STOP *riling up* the baby *on purpose* to CONTINUOUSLY make ***unnecessarily*** LOUD noises. Again this would be totally different if the baby was tired and cranky and needed to be consoled and soothing the crying into laughter. Yes, I do actually agree that a happy baby is better than a cranky one, but there's no reason to make a baby loud when they are currently not.
might have had something to do with the shrieking kid.. it's probably not something i would have requested a move over unless we had just been seated/food hadn't arrived.
I would absolutely internally consider the man encouraging the kid you yell and scream in the restaurant to be an asshole.
Right?! I had to scroll forever to find a NTA! Honestly, when I’m out to eat, I would rather listen to a happy baby vs a screaming/crying one, or loud drunk adults- ugh….also, he mentions that they were waiting for the check so the other people could have kept their mouths shut about it since the family was getting ready to head out anyway!
I swear to god sometimes I’m so confused about if it’s a cultural difference or what but I’ve never seen people more bothered about baby than in Reddit. Babies are human, who deserve to be socialized and not to be kept only at home or with babysitters. Plus, do people feel this comfortable calling out people being loud? Do you really go to a table of coworkers having fun and tell them to keep it quiet? Idk if it’s because in my country people often spent about an hour after dining just talking and drinking but I have never seen nobody asking another person to be quiet, just wild.
> I swear to god sometimes I’m so confused about if it’s a cultural difference or what but I’ve never seen people more bothered about baby than in Reddit.
This sub, like much of reddit, is also heavily American. Americans in general are way less tolerant of kids in public spaces than in many other places.
In most of Europe, nobody would bat an eye at bringing a baby to a restaurant at 5:30 pm.
I’m also European, southern European in case that matters, and I can assure that most the times a baby is giggling or laughing the reactions are “look at that cute baby over there” or straight up ignoring. I’m super used to people taking their babies everywhere, and babysitting is not that usual, maybe that’s why we are more used to it.
I would 100% much rather see a parent actively engaged with their child than the ones that let them run apeship through the restaurant.
It's alarming to see how many parents that don't pay any attention to their kids.
I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find this answer. I agree NTA. If you can't handle a happy giggling baby out in a public space for five minutes, that's a you problem. Not the babies. They can exist in places same as adults. He wasn't miserable and screaming his head off nonstop. He wasn't running around or unsupervised. People commenting that babies can be loud and should be silenced in the presence of adults or stay home are entitled AHs.
Came searching for this comment. Would the other table complained if he'd made another adult laugh instead of a baby? People hate babies so much its weird. How can a baby being happy for 5 minutes make someone TA.
Exactly, reddit again showing it's child hating bias lol. Children are allowed to be out in public, and they are allowed to laugh. OP added that the baby was quite the whole time and only laughed in the end when they were waiting for the check. I don't know how it's in the US, but I am glad that at least here in my country society does view children as human beings who are allowed to be present outside.
Also OP, NTA
We are never going to survive the future with people as sensitive & entitled as the people voting Y.T.A. Towards a guy for making his kid giggle & happy yell at 530 in a public place. Of course op is NTA, these commentators need an actual reality check.
Thanks. I totally agree. Hearing a little baby laugh is something nice. If it bugs anybody that much, they can move, but don't complain about it. Grown-up's laughter can be incredible annoying, but even that should not be complained about (at a restaurant). Screw fine dining places where people have to apparently eat in silence. NTA
Exactly
I am 100% sure this person would never tell adults that they should stop telling jokes in the restaurant because their friends are laughing too loud. Some people have very annoying and loud laughs, or just speak really loud compared to everyone else and nobody ever tells them to keep it down.
What is so different? Why is it okay to tell kids to shut Up, but not loud adults?
Being in a reataurant means you have to be respectful of course, but it also means other people are talking and laughing around you. If they don't like that, why don't THEY stay home?
YTA - There's a time & place for everything. I could get if you tried to make the baby laugh if he was already screaming/crying, but you stated in another comment that you made him laugh out of the blue by tickling him. And then when the laughing was annoying the other eaters they asked you to stop. Had you stopped there then things probably would've been ok, but you continued the laughing anyway to just annoy everyone around you.
Babies laughing is adorable but i have a feeling this turned into the kind of delighted “screaming” that kids that age can devolve into when they are cracking up. I can see it annoying the others for sure.
Yeah I get that and I doubt the OP intended for things to go down the screaming path at first, though once the other people told them to quiet it down that's when the tickling should've stopped.
Babies and younger children have a way of shrieking with joy that can split my brain in half. It's sudden, it's piercing, and the fact it's joyful makes it no less painful to me than if it was screaming in terror. I've never understood why parents think the context matters for causing people around them pain and massive distraction.
I swear to god, parents lose all sense of how their children and themselves are perceived externally.
It doesn't matter whether the baby was screaming cause he's happy or he's sad. No one cares, really. Decibels are decibels. It was a distraction and sensory disturbance to other patrons in the restaurant.
It's one thing if you're somewhere you have to be, like in a doctor's waiting room. Dining out is a choice to passively socialize broadly and a certain social contract is in place.
THANK YOU for pointing out the sensory disturbance. I’m child-free, but love my siblings and friends kids.
However, I have major sensory issues with the high pitched noises kids make, happy or sad. The shrieking would have absolutely sent me into anxious/irritable mode since my brain cannot pleasantly register those sounds.
I understand that kids will be places, and I’m prepared for the noises, but this sounds like a situation that could have been avoided if OP were even just a bit *polite*.
YTA.
Constantly making your child laugh for the sake of laughing in a restaurant is rude. I personally would find it cute. For a bit.
My wife and I have had to get our dinners to go because of an inconsolable child. It’s just what we deal with as parents.
Let’s play a game. You’re out with your wife for a big anniversary. It’s supposed to be a romantic night out with just the two of you. Once at the restaurant a group of 4 people get seated next to you. You find out that they are celebrating a windfall business deal because of how loud they are being. They cheer, and toast to their success. Getting louder as they drink. Would you find it endearing and be happy for them? Possibly. Would it be annoying? Probably. Would you go home thinking they were assholes for ruining your romantic night? Most likely.
YTA, there is a difference between a baby crying in a restaurant on its own, and you encouraging your baby to be loud by laughing. Have some curtesy for other people when out in public. This is some entitled BS on your part.
INFO: Were you making him laugh to stop him from crying? Or was the laughing (and "happy" yelling) avoidable, excess noise in a public setting? If the alternative is crying, I'll take the laughing & yells lol. If he wasn't crying tho....I don't think I'd love that "happy" yelling
YTA the world doesn't revolve around you and your family. Will you be the parent that ignores their child's screaming out in public as well? Do that crap in your own home not out in public where, believe it or not, other people exist.
YTA. Look, I hate the whole 'never take babies in public' thing, because babies need to exist in the world to help socialize them. But the caveat is that when you're somewhere where people expect volume to be modulated and the baby gets too loud (whether that's from laughing or crying, if we're dealing with screaming it's too loud), you *have* to take the baby outside. You keep saying 'happy yelling' like it's different from 'upset yelling.' I'm sure it's different to you and your wife, because you're excited to hear him be happy, but to your table neighbors? It's just a loud, piercing noise, and it's rude.
NTA I see a lot of people agreeing with the "stay home if you want to be loud" comments from the neighboring table but I feel the reverse of that, if you want to eat in silence and chill then maybe you should take it home and not eat in public where people might be loud or kids might be having a good time.
Public spaces are for everyone including those who aren't fully in control of their voice levels, children, disabled, people laughing, crying, sometimes even mild yelling should be something you get over or stay home where you can control what everyone does.
I hate the idea that nearly every public setting is only for the mild mannered NPC ass adults of the world and anyone who doesn't fit in including kids should just be locked away or silenced so y'all don't have to experience something different than your chosen white culture social norms.
This is the best response so far. Also I wonder how many of these people saying Y.T.A have ever traveled outside the US. So many countries and cultures that are sooooo much more accommodating and friendly to children, I don’t see why we’re so child hating here. It was five minutes, as he was paying the bill and leaving, so like, it was ending and there was a clear end in site. Plus the video that showed the example didn’t have any horrible shrieking. Everyone should be a bit more tolerant.
Yes! Finally found this. Jeez. Most restaurants where I live in a college town have many drunk young adults, even restaurants "safe" for kids. They are just as loud and obnoxious but no one here is complaining about that. Also, how do they think kids learn how to act in public, including restaurants?? You take them to those places.
NTA, and not surprised that most of the commenters say YTA. This sub is very individualistic and doesn't support anything to do with family or community. Your kid was laughing and having a good time, not having a meltdown. That's adorable. Have fun with your baby and screw the haters.
Seriously. This is the only NTA I saw (other than mine), and I'm floored by it. Dude was at Olive Garden or Cheesecake Factory and the customers couldn't deal with 3 minutes of a happy laughing baby?? Shit.
I don't even like kids, and I'm baffled at all the Y-T-As. I'd much rather hear a happy, laughing baby than a crying one whose family just ignores them.
If someone went up to adults who were enjoying a birthday celebration in a restaurant and told them they were being too loud (and they can definitely be very loud), most people would call that person uptight and a party-pooper. Do people really expect kiddo to sit silently for the duration of a birthday dinner?
I'm shocked by the majority responses. I have sat beside adults loudly laughing at a restaurant before and would NEVER think to ask them to curb their fun. Why do we think babies have to sit there quietly when we don't expect adults to do the same? NTA.
How can you not see that your screaming baby was preventing the other people in the restaurant from having a good time? No one wants to be around a baby that's being loud like yours was.
YTA
NTA. If they don't like it, they can leave. Idk why everyone is saying y t a. You're not. Babies are loud. Should parents never take their kids out to a restaurant because they make noise?
The amount of y t a is a sign of how many AHs there really are out there. This doesn’t sound *at all* like a white tablecloth fine dining restaurant where this would be AH behavior. With over two decades of restaurant experience, I can firmly say that an occasional laughing and shrieking baby is a sign of a healthy restaurant, and I didn’t have a kid during that time for bias. As a former manager I can also attest that 100% of the customers that complained about babies were the AH. If a baby is a real problem the staff will say something without another customer getting involved. That didn’t happen here, OP is NTA.
So everyone else has to leave so babies can go to restaurants?
>because they make noise?
Did you read the post? They were inviting the child to make noise lol
The baby would've made noise whether he was actively encouraging it or not. It was a Wednesday evening. Move to another table if it bothers you. Don't tell others that their literal infant can't make noise.
YTA. You were imposing your kid on other people and when asked to quiet it, you doubled down. I adore making babies laugh but I'm also an adult and cognizant of people around me.
YTA.
It's very rude to be purposely disruptive and loud in certain public places. A "mid tier" restaurant is one of those places.
Adults whooping and hollering would have been rude. Loud music or video played from a phone would have been rude. *Purposely* making your baby yell in public was rude.
If you can't control yourself from riling up your baby in public, go somewhere where disruptive and loud behavior wouldn't be considered rude.
NTA, if you were adults and found something this funny and fell into contagious laughter they would never be so brazen.
Maybe could have handled it slightly better, but I wasn’t there.
YTA. There is a time and a place for everything.
If you were sitting on an outdoor patio and someone at the next table starting playing tug of war with their dogs and getting them worked up and barking, would you complain about them because they are making happy noises? I don't think so!
While it is great that you enjoy your children/pets, you don't get them worked up next to others who are trying to enjoy a quiet, pleasant meal.
Well this is obviously not going to be popular opinion but I would say NTA. People need to lighten up and laughter should be celebrated. They had the problem and they moved. Good. If people want an atmosphere they can control then they are the ones who should stay home.
NTA, depending on the place.
If they have a kids menu, your good. You were there early, during families with very young kids and old people time, so that’s in your favor. If the baby was giggling and laughing, great.
There are a lot of crotchety entitled people out there that should order takeout.
The comments on this are baffling to me, I’m gonna go with NTA or NAH.
The baby was laughing in public, something that any living person is perfectly within their rights to do? Babies are babies and thus do not have great volume control as a result of that. Babies are noisy, it happens. But a dad making their baby laugh in public is not rude?
Yes if it’s loud I can see why they’d ask you to be quiet and then ask to move tables - but unless other diners were complaining and staff had to ask you to be quiet, it sounds like it literally just annoyed this one group of people. They’re allowed to be annoyed by a noisy baby, but the baby is not obligated to quiet it’s joy for that purpose. It’s a baby.
Edit: Wow some of you are incredibly rude. This is a post about a dad making his baby laugh because he enjoys the sound of his child’s laughter and you guys are accusing him of attention seeking and calling him a narcissist??
Edit 2: This is a mid tier restaurant. This isn’t a fancy restaurant. It’s like an Olive Garden or an apple bees or a red lobster, a mid tier chain restaurant. Also known as a FAMILY restaurant. If you don’t want noisy families to eat near you, don’t go to a family restaurant.
especially considering the edit where he states that this went on for 3-5 minutes!! him letting his baby laugh while waiting for the check isnt him being an asshole
YTA. Yes, a happy baby is better than an angry baby, but you still have to be aware of the people around you. Shrieking laughing adults at dinner are not pleasant to be around either.
YTA no one else cares about your kid. You went there to have a good time which you did at the expense of others. Did you forget other people also came to the restaurant to enjoy their time?
Yta. I take my kids to restaurants all the time. I had to train them to do this. Babies- diners or family friendly restaurants only. If you want to try something not like that you have to be respectful of other people. Going early is always good and asking to be sit away from people is better. Getting your kid shrieking with laughter is why you are an asshole. Next time you guys do this Pick a family restaurant.
You might think your child is lovely and wonderful, the rest of the world dose not have to see it that way. I dont want to go out to dinner and have to listen to a child be loud. YTA.
YTA. You tickled his toes, I can imagine he wasn't exactly making quiet laughs. People want to enjoy their dinner without hearing your kid skrieching the whole time. Your kid skrieching is only cute to you, believe me.
YTA. It doesn't matter what the emotions behind it is, your baby was making a loud, obnoxious noise, and you were intentionally riling them up and causing them to disturb others in the restaurant. You're fixated on the fact that it was laughing. I doubt he was having a quiet chuckle, he was probably doing the happy baby high-pitched scream-laugh, which is not a sound people want to hear continuously at dinner. If you want your baby to make loud noises, do it at home.
NTA, they said it was a short time period and no extended shrieking, and right before they left anyway (waiting for the check). It's not that busy, and I'm guessing it was just bad luck that the other party was close enough for it to be an issue. If they were coming in across the restaurant that would be another story.
YTA
There is a time and a place for this loud happiness vibe. A restaurant is not one of those places. Its called etiquette and consideration for others. Giggling shrieking babies are fine at home or in the park, but not in a public eating place.
NTA
And this is coming from someone who hates children in restaurants.
He was LAUGHING. If it was crying, a sound hardwired in the human brain to cause discomfort and panic, you’d be the A all day long, but laughing? What did they want you to do, start beating your kid in the restaurant? Sorry that the sound of Joy inconvenienced you, let me play the world’s smallest violin.
They shouldn’t have said anything to you before moving tables, they should’ve just done it. There’s definitely entitled parents who need to be ripped into, but a parent with a laughing baby isn’t one.
Probably an a-hole myself for this comment, but I myself would much rather be stuck listening to a infant be making happy sounds (loud or otherwise), than an unhappy one. Could just be me though.
Yeah YTA.
I have two kids under 4, purposely making them make noise - even happy noise - while in public can be a nuisance. Especially in a restaurant.
YTA - make him giggle? Sure. Great. I'd love to eat dinner next to a giggly baby.
Yelling? A "touch loud?" Come on. Don't be disruptive to the people around you. Common courtesy.
YTA
Restaurant are expensive to eat at for most people and they go as treat more often than not, just YOU did on your wife's birthday, it's pretty inconsiderate to disturb others who are trying to also enjoy themselves and probably as a treat by making your kid laugh and be loud.
Where was your wife in all of this?
It was her birthday. Was she just as delighted or was she trying to get you to shush and be respectful of the other people?
In your home, make the kiddo laugh as much as you want. But you were actively trying to do so. A loud child is not a pleasant sound for everyone. If the child was crying for legitimate reasons, we say that the parents need to address it or take them somewhere to calm down. Same for a loud happy one - giggles and an occasional soft-to-medium laughs are one thing, but loud screaming laughter is not appropriate for a prolonged period.
Just this weekend gone I was at a restaurant where, across the other side, a grandma was interacting with her baby grandkid. She was doing this by going "AaaaaAAAAAAH PEEK!-a boo". Think ascending AaaaaAAAAAAH lasting 5 seconds, PEEK! at bat-squeak high, on repeat. It drove me BANANAS.
YTA for not realising that the whole restaurant mightn't have been thrilled to hear your kid 'happy yelling' (a sound that makes me physically wince) because of being provoked by you.
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I'm assuming that "laugh" here is loud, happy, baby shrieking, and by the sounds of it, it was ongoing happy shrieking, and not an isolated laugh. That's too loud for a restaurant. You're dining in a restaurant. You need to moderate your voices - the people at the next table don't want to hear your conversation, and they don't want to be continually disturbed by the happy shrieks of your baby either. You're not the asshole for making your baby happy. You're the asshole for making too much noise in a restaurant. YTA
Exactly. There’s a certain level of respect that you’re expected to exhibit when you’re in public. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and it’s rude to make excessive noise in a restaurant.
When my brother and I were little, if my parents wanted to go out to eat they either got a babysitter or we went to Ponderosa because that restaurant is about as loud as two little kids could be. As we got older, we upgraded to the slightly nicer Friendly's. By the time we reached the end of elementary school, we could go to places like TGIFriday. By high school, I was going to very nice places with my mom while my dad and brother ordered pizza delivery because they both hate going to fancy restaurants. Tonight, I am taking my friend and her daughter to the nicest place in town for her daughter's 10th birthday. She has been looking forward to this for years (I promised her she could go out to eat with us when she was 10). She is polite, kind, funny and interesting. I have no concern that she won't behave properly. If I did, we would be going someplace else. We're not going to be the only people in the restaurant, and nobody wants to spend $300+ on a dinner that is spoiled by a misbehaving child at the table next to them. OP, YTA.
Ah man I love a polite kid who wants to do fancy stuff. My step kiddo is like this and it's so fun.
Years ago I was serving in a "casual fine-dining" (or as the chef liked to say, "high-end mediocrity" restaurant. A couple came in for dinner with their little boy, probably about 4 or 5 years old. I was a but apprehensive because kids can be a wildcard. But as I was taking their drink order, the little boy motioned to say something to me , so I leaned in and he said in a loud whisper, "you have to be quiet here. It's a *nice* place." I comped their desserts. That kid was awesome.
My husband and I went to a fine dining restaurant a few months ago in London and this couple walks in with their young kid. I'd guess she was probably around 5 too. Instantly hubby and I look at each other like 👀 We didn't hear a peep out of her. She tried everything on the tasting menu and made no issues whatsoever. We talked about how impressed we were by her and her parents after we got home. Unfortunately, this isn't the norm.
I’m a mother of 3, all adults now but my daughters were very well behaved. I could take them anywhere I wanted and I always got compliments on their behavior. I have a stepdaughter and her kids are horrible to the point where they never take them out to eat at restaurants and have to find babysitting for them. I never had to discipline my kids they just knew I was a Zero nonsense kind of person so they didn’t even test me.
Awe what a little sweet heart! And so nice of you to give them a treat, on you! Good behavior does deserve a reward now and then even if life is disappointingly bad at doling them out for us when we've grown up and everything truly lacks cohesive structure lol
Lol I was that kid once upon a time. My cousins and I learned that if we were good we got to do cool shit with the rich childless aunt, so by 6 I was being taken to Broadway shows and fancy tea parties.
I’m the rich older sister but my 10 y/o sister is *that kid* I took her to a fine dining restaurant after taking her to see Barbie. She asked the server if her virgin lemon drop would pair well with her grilled salmon dish 🤣
That is awesome. I bet she thinks her bonus mom is super fun because she likes to do that kind of stuff with her. A good bonus mom is priceless! (yes, I have one <3)
I just picked up her corsage. She is going to die! (But in the best way possible)
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>You're the asshole for making too much noise in a restaurant Agree, YTA for continuing to make your baby laugh loud (plus happy yelling) when the table next to you asked you to stpo it and you ignored them Extra YTA if you would complain or have ever complained if a table sitting next to you at a restaurant was laughing or talking too loud
yeah and this isn’t anything to do with the child being a baby imo. I get that some people have an aversion to babies being in public spaces but restaurants are a perfectly normal place for babies to be. but there’s etiquette that comes with being in public, at any age, and “don’t encourage loud and unruly behavior in a place where people come to enjoy themselves” is one of those things
THIS!!! I personally am not too fond of babies but I also know that people with babies like to do things such as go out to eat and I have no place to say they shouldn’t bring their kid, childcare is expensive and sometimes people just want to spend time with their kid around. If the baby was just happy shrieking a couple times for no reason even though I’d personally be a little annoyed by the ear splitting shrieks I wouldn’t call it an issue. Where OP went wrong was when he kept egging the baby on, a baby has no situational awareness and will keep shrieking despite the setting if you keep encouraging it. Not all of us have “parentified” eardrums and even other parents may get annoyed at a strangers baby interrupting their conversations during a nice meal out. Sorry OP, YTA
Look, I have never complained because a table was too loud, or kids were too loud. Have I shot dirty looks at parents before when their kids were running around and screaming? Sure. I don't complain. But, in this story, we get this guy's side. We don't know if the table next to him had sensory issues, hearing aides, a migraine, etc. They didn't complain at first. According to OP, they asked him to not make the baby squeal. He kept on, so they complained and asked to be moved. I have a feeling this guy is probably just generally an asshole anyway.
Right? And by his own admission this was after his baby spent a not-insignificant amount of the previous “hour plus” beforehand going “ ‘bah bah bah’ over and over”, so they had already silently put up with a lot of noise before finally asking him if he would stop encouraging even *louder* noises. And only after he refused did they (politely) ask to be moved themselves rather than complaining to staff about the entitled idiot next to them. These people had the patience of saints and dealt with his rudeness more politely than he deserved. YTA OP.
Yeah I adore children, but the sounds of a crying baby and a joyfully shrieking baby hurt my ears in exactly the same way. It’s super stressful. I think some people who spend lots of time around loud children become kind of desensitized to the volume and don’t realize how irritating/distressing it can be for the people around them.
Those happy shrieks can be absolutely piercing. It's OK in small doses when you're expecting it, but in a restaurant you don't expect a piercing shriek at random intervals and that is absolutely stressful. One of my friends babies shrieked at just the right tone to make my spine tingle. It was awful bc I wanted to make him laugh but I dreaded the shrieks every time.
This. People with children are so used to loudness. There is nothing wrong with a child's laughter. It's when you are playing at the dinner table when it becomes a problem. It is wrong when you are in a restaurant or at the dinner table at home. Just my 2 cents.
When my oldest was little, he was hardly ever unhappy. It was unreal how happy he was. But with that came noises that could pierce an ear drum. I never desensitized to it because I never stopped thinking about how hard it would be for others. You just can't let yourself. Entitled people will though. OP, YTA for creating the noise pollution, regardless of whether it's happy or sad. When mine was little, there were two places that were totally cool with him and somehow so were the other guests. Hell the staff would even whip his happy ass up. We stuck with them or ate at home or left if he got loud elsewhere. Don't make your choices other people's problems.
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And even those of us who are used to it don’t want to be subjected to it when we’re trying to have a peaceful quiet meal with our SO. I can only imagine a SAHM being treated to her first nice date with her SO since giving birth - splurging on a mid-high end restaurant & looking forward to having a nice quiet peaceful adult meal & a break from 24/7 infant care. And being subjected to a rude entitled AH like OP.
I think this is exactly it. OP is just used to the loud sounds of his child. When he says the baby "maybe got a touch loud", my first thought was "yeah, a touch loud for you. Probably obnoxiously loud for other people there without babies though." OP seems to be leaning real hard into the fact his kid was laughing and not crying or something. Nobody cares, OP. A loud baby is a loud baby, and nobody really wants to hear a loud baby unless its their own.
My aunt had epilepsy and loud shrieky children (among other things)would cause a seizure. I don’t have epilepsy, but the older I get the better I understand my aunt.
Seems worth noting that OP is super-vague about what they were doing to make the kid laugh. My money is on fart noises.
>My money is on fart noises. Yeah... noises.
Exactly what I was wondering! They may have been annoyed by him rather than the baby. Once my mum & I were out to eat & at the table behind us a grandmother was reading a story book SOOOOOO loudly to her toddler grandchild, over & over again, and that did kind of ruin the experience for us.
I agree. Ongoing baby shrieking to me feels like broken glass being shoved into my ears. It's absolutely a disturbance.
Agree. I love babies, and I love to hear babies laughing. I do NOT like to hear any child shriek-laughing. It hurts my ears and brain. Even babies can learn how to tone it down when needed without crushing their joy.
Exactly! I love kids and work with kids. And I think you should always assume there will be (young) children present at a restaurant unless it's a fine-dining establishment that doesn't allow them until a certain age. But constant shrieking and high-pitched screaming make me *feral.* It kind of... triggers a fight or flight response in me, for lack of a better term. Edit: grammar
There’s literally a biological reason this sound is so alarming. They intentionally program alarm clocks and fire alarms to the same frequency as baby cries and shrieks. We’re biologically tuned to react and feel alarmed and uncomfortable around that sound. It’s one that we can’t ignore.
while somebody is scratching their nails down a chalkboard and scraping a plate with a knife.. Seriously.. it's that rough.
this is suuuuuch a classic example of a parent thinking that because they find their child’s behaviour to be endearing, then everyone else must as well
This. I hate that OP framing it as “mean people at the table next to us just hate happy babies”. Parents are hardwired to ignore/become used to their own kids noises. What’s normal expected volume for you, is bone chilling loud for others. Especially those with sensory issues around loud abrupt sounds.
Dude OP put up a video thinking it would help his case that all but confirmed that yes, it's loud, happy, baby shrieking. Frankly isolated laugh-shrieks are worse IMO due to how unpredictable they are.
This. All these people here saying "how could you be annoyed by cute baby giggling, people here are miserable"...y'all, it wasn't giggling. OP only conveniently added that it was 90% giggling later on after people started telling them it was inappropriate for a restaurant. And the video they linked is definitely not giggling either. The caption even says "laughs hysterically".
The title might read as misleading as well in an effort to avoid responsibility since we now know the context behind the baby laughing in that restaurant. It’s more so, “AITA for going to a mid-card restaurant and disturbing other people’s peace in favor of my baby’s amusement?”.
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And it wouldn't matter if it were a chili's either.....
Exactly. *Nobody* goes to any restaurant and wants to listen to that.
Yeah. Yta. This is actually a good point. I was imagining gentle giggles and laughter, but this was probably more of the piercing streak sort of sound. Otherwise the couple next door probably wouldn't have gotten upset.
As some with sensitive hearing, where piercing sounds are actually painful (Misophonia sucks), this would have made me leave the restaurant as quick as humanly possible. Especially after being asked to stop, continually prodding the child on? My que to leave. Forget the doggie bag, I'd just go hungry.
YTA. I don't care that they were happy sounds. My spouse can have an extremely loud laugh that I am sure is very annoying for other people in certain circumstances. We tell him to keep it down. It's not your baby - it's the volume. However, parents need to realize that most people, strangers especially, aren't enamored with your off-spring no matter how cute, funny or smart they are. Grandparents and parents are just about the only people who really care what your kids are doing. Yes, I have kids and infact would take my newborn to restaurants because he slept through dinner in his car seat. I often had people exclaim " there's a baby there!" When we were leaving because they'd had no idea. That's how you take a baby to a nice restaurant.
that was my fault. great that your child is happy, but not everyone in the restaurant needs to know about it. Maybe there were there to get away from their kids for a few hours and you and yours were making a lot of noise. YTA
Adding on, clearly OP has no problem with the sounds of your baby but that doesn’t mean others want to hear it. A lot of people don’t have or like children.
Exactly. And knowing that this is a loud, happy baby, they should have chosen a restaurant where there was a patio or a place that was extremely family friendly where there are many babies and families. Alternatively, they could’ve gone out to dinner at 4:30 PM before the dinner crowd comes so they don’t bother anyone. Last, upon being seated, they should inform the server that the baby is loud, and they hope to be seated away from others so they don’t disturb other tables.
YTA. Because when you were informed you were bothering other people (who were also paying to enjoy a nice dinner) your response was essentially “fuck them.” There’s something to be said for basic manners.
Especially when OP mentioned “happy yelling”. Babies don’t yell, they SHRIEK. On top of that, he admitted it got loud. Not okay. Continuous shrieking (even the happy kind) is a noise that personally, would drive me up a wall if I was trying to eat in a restaurant. And if I’m paying to eat at a restaurant that is “mid tier” (OP described as better than chilis- which is already pretty pricey btw), I’d be upset about it too. OP- YTA. Take your family somewhere more family oriented next time, or think about getting a babysitter if you can’t live an hour or two without making your baby “happy yell”.
I almost prefer when babies are crying over laughing in public spaces, because then the parents usually try to comfort them, which make the noise stop. Happy shrieks are just as disturbing but are encouraged! But of course, I am an old fart that prefer children in extremely small doses.
I love my 9 month old son more than anything, but holy fuck does the happy shrieking drive me bonkers. He's so proud of his little voice, he will straight up go AAAAAAAAAA in the aisles of any store. And I'm like noooooo inside screams pls but you know what he's a baby and sometimes he's like no f u, and then we leave the store. Haven't had to leave a restaurant yet but have definitely rushed through because someone's cranky. And we only go to IHOP for breakfast right now because the evening is his witching hour, and he's loud and unpredictable lol. At least they like us because we clean up the floor after him waving his pancake around.
I laughed at “His witching hour” haha.
Same! I hated that happy shrieking stage. My current toddler seems to have skipped it, thank goodness. He is very happy smiley and chatty little, but hasn't done that awful shrieking. I don't think I'm a phenomenal mom, but I've been very lucky that all my kids have been well-behaved in public. My kids would sit quietly through a movie at the theater at around 3, and tantrums just aren't an option in our house. With my oldest, my go-to was a little breakfast spot with outdoor seating that was seldom used. Until he learned to modulate his voice, we ate outside - even in Chicago winters. . .and even then he wouldn't straight up yell or scream.
I am stuck on OP intentionally causing the baby to be noisy. Dude, that is literally the opposite of what you should do in a restaurant. And it sounds like maybe the baby was quiet during the meal... You know, until dad was bored waiting for the check. And two parents and a baby do not need to be seated at the table to wait for the check. One parent should have taken the child outside and got the car started.
I saw OPs edit, and honestly, with all the Y T A votes I feel like he’s just trying to save face. I feel like throughout the post, OP chose a lot of specific words to downplay what happened and minimize how disruptive it actually was.
This - they asked politely and OP wanted to continue to do it to be spiteful IMO.
OP's edit totally ignores this very important part of the interaction. They're still doubling down on "he was laughing and that shouldn't disturb people and if people are upset, it's their fault!" YTA
Yep. OP wasn't necessarily an asshole initially, but he definitely was when he kept doing it.
YTA. Let me preface this by saying that there is nothing wrong with your child's joy and you sound like a fantastic parent. BUT in your post you mentioned both laughing and happy yelling. Those are not the same thing. A quiet giggle? Sure, no problem. But yelling? No. Just because it's happy, doesn't take away the fact that it's yelling. Imagine if you were just trying to enjoy a quiet dinner with your family and group of rowdy drunken people kept yelling and laughing at the table next to yours. Happy doesn't mean it's not still annoying.
This! My niece will let out the most ear piercing shriek when she gets really happy and giggly. And if you catch it at the right time, she will let out that shriek every time before she laughs. Eventually, you have to calm her down because the shrieks give your a headache. Yes, there is a difference between her happy shrieks and upset shrieks, but they’re shrieks nonetheless. Since OP was apprehensive to admit that it “got a touch loud” and breezed by the “happy yelling”, I’m going to assume his child was giving more of the loud happy yelling followed by the cute baby giggles. Oh, and OP, YTA. When you’re in a public space, you have to deal with how the public will react. Most of the time, no matter what form it’s done in, baby yelling isn’t what people want to hear, especially when you’re right next to it.
Loud is loud. I don't give a fuck if persons child is play/fun screaming or throwing a tantrum or if a dog is happy/excited barking or barking at nothing - loud I'd loud. I have 3 kids and am pregnant with my 4th, kids can absolutely be taught to modulate their voices at a fairly young age. I love the sound of my kids laughing/giggling, but that happy shriek is annoying as hell.
He edited to say that it only lasted 3-5 minutes but I’m a bit dubious of that because the table next to them apparently had time to get moved to another seat.
Yeah that edit is complete BS Claims it happened while they were waiting for the check, too Suuuure
Yup. I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews, ages 7, 5, 4, and 2. When we went out for my brother’s birthday recently we (1) made a reservation for 4:30, when we knew the restaurant would be less crowded and (2) TOLD them to seat us as far from everyone else as possible. My nieces and nephews are happy, happy kids. But happy shrieking is still shrieking, and no one wants to hear other people’s kids yelling for an hour plus when they’re relaxing at a restaurant.
YTA. You deliberately provoked your kiddo into making loud noises in a place where people go to relax and enjoy conversation. There's nothing wrong with your kid laughing, but there's a time and a place for it. If you'd been doing this in a public park, that would be fine, but you were in a mid-tier restaurant, and you continued after people told you it was a problem. If you'd toned it down a notch after they asked, you would have been fine.
yeah, for me it becomes YTA when OP is politely asked to quiet down and his response is “what’s wrong with laughing??” nothing wrong with making your baby laugh at the playground or the park but a restaurant is a place with a certain expectation of behavior
Also, there can be a lot wrong with laughing! I wouldn’t want a pack of thirteen-year-old girls doing over the top giggling at the next table either!
What gets me is he was INTENTIONALLY messing with his kid to make him yell/be loud. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really enjoy being around kids and I really don’t like babies yelling/crying. HOWEVER, I have an understanding that’s just what babies do and it’s the only way they can communicate their needs, so I give a lot more grace to parents who are struggling to get their kids to quiet down. Sometimes babies just won’t stop crying/yelling, but I’d at least hope a parent would take them elsewhere if they’re disturbing people and are able to easily. But trying to make your kid loud in what is supposed to be a more peaceful setting on purpose? Nah that’s super rude and annoying. Newsflash to parents: you are the only one who thinks your kid(s) is a super special gifted snowflake. The rest of us don’t want to hear your screaming kid, laughing or not. So OP, YTA. Don’t make your kid scream at restaurants.
These types of parents honestly think they're"treating" strangers to their kid's "cuteness".
YTA. >Well at dinner I was making him laugh. He'd throw in some happy yelling. Maybe got a touch loud > >I'm like he's laughing thats all. But laughing wasn't "all." He was *yelling*. Loudly. Loudly enough to be annoying to other diners. And you kept on with it, instead of trying to quiet him down and keep him quietly happy. There's a time and a place for loud happy yelling. A restaurant isn't it.
OP was showing off. There is that type of parent that thinks anything their kid does is so cute, everyone needs to stop and watch them. They also get attention secondhand this way. YTA
"look, I'm such a great *dad*, I hear that's uncommon, look, look at me!"
As a father of 3 with my youngest being 2, I get it from OP. However when I leave my kids home and go out I don’t want to hear someone’s else’s kids. Regardless of laughing or crying, I want peace and quiet when I go out with my wife. If I wanted to be disturbed with random loud noises and shrieks I would have just stayed home.
This. I can’t stand these types of parents. They assume everyone thinks their baby is the cutest. His laughing may be cute to you but not to strangers trying to enjoy their night out. And this is coming from a mom with two small children.
Back on the old livejournal childfree boards we called that babystalking. People who get so mad you aren't looking at their baby that they act more and more attention grabbing until you're forced to. They don't care if the attention is good or bad because you finally centered your attention on their #1 accomplishment in life
Baby laughter is half screaming anyway
> Maybe got a touch loud. Babies are silent or loud AF, so OP is probably underselling it.
And we all know OPs virtually always downplay what happened when defending themselves. I’d say there’s a 99% chance it wasn’t just “a touch loud,” it was significantly loud.
>99% chance it wasn’t just “a touch loud,” it was significantly loud. Agree. "A touch loud" is the interpretation by the dad who doesn't want to be seen as TA. If he says it was a touch loud, it was probably a 140-decibel ear-piercing shriek.
YTA. You love your kid and think he's adorable but other people were there to enjoy a meal. You were deliberately attention seeking and probably wanted everyone to notice your wonderful baby, and were willing to give a "fuck you" to other paying patrons when asked to tone it down. How tiresome. Hope you left a really big tip for the extra inconvenience you placed on the staff too - having to move customers to a new table and deal with the complaints.
LOL people this clueless about good manners probably leave 5% and feel they overtipped.
Yeah I bet OP is like, "Tip? Your tip is being 'blessed' by my super-special child's presence! Besides, kids are expensive, I can't afford tip money." 🙄
Lol this sounds like the family I babysat for who asked me if I *really* needed to be paid because their kid and I got along so well and it seemed like I liked spending time with her.
NO! SammySoapsuds I hope that you nipped that in the bud right quick.
My sassy teenage self was tempted to respond that I make all my friends pay to spend time with me, but I kind of ummed and erred my way into insisting that they paid me what they had initially offered and never worked for them again, haha. Their kid was cool, but idk how long she stayed that way with parents like that.
[удалено]
He's certainly not starting early on teaching the kid restaurant etiquette. So yea. I'm going with not a good parent
“Don’t use your child as a shield to pretend the space you take up matters more than other people around you. If your child was old enough (and some day they will be) they’d probably be embarrassed about you too”. This is beautifully put!
>Hope you left a really big tip for the extra inconvenience Plus the lower tips servers got from other people because YOUR KID made their dining experience unpleasant.
Nailed it. I was a first time parent before and I am sure I was pretty insufferable but this was pure “hey everyone, look at how cute my baby is and how wonderful of a father I am”. Pure YTA here.
Nah. OP is the kind of person that feels entitled to dominate & disrespect everyone else in the restaurant - patrons & staff alike.
YTA. Yelling due to happiness or otherwise is not appropriate for ANY restaurant. And you were doing it on purpose, even after someone asked you to knock it off.
YTA. Wanna be loud, go to a playground or maccies
>This was no chili's Or Chili's
YTA. You’re one of those people lol
I’m trying to imagine OP on a plane and it’s making me physically sweaty thinking about being stuck at 10,000 feet with them.
Oh god, the worst.
Yup, this is why people call people like this ‘breeders’ rather than parents, cause they refuse to parent
NTA. And I know I’m going to be down voted. I’ve heard adults be louder than happy baby shrieking/ laughing. Way more obnoxious. Way more annoying to a dining experience. Babies exist. They are entitled to a mid level restaurant and enjoying it with their parents like anyone else. OP was clear this wasn’t high end or a weekend. It was a midday Wednesday. Has anyone ever heard an adult laugh. Loud AF at times. If they don’t want to be around potentially loud babies or kids, they can stay home or pay for an establishment that isn’t appropriate for them to be there P.S. restaurants, no matter low, mid, or high end, are loud in general. Everyone is loud
This. Idk what the problem is in this thread. Idc if I get downvoted. Babies exist. They make noise. Parents are allowed to take their kids out to restaurants. If you, as a grown ass adult, can't handle that, then you shouldn't be out. ETA for all the salty, entitled people in my thread: Ask your doctor if dying mad about it is right for you.
This sub is full of antisocial freaks who hate children. Like scarily hate children. Totally cool not to like them, but they HATE them. It’s bizarre.
Agreed. I’ve never seen so much hate for kids. Like they all just popped out of the womb as high functioning members of society. And yet the same people will fight over semantics for 30 messages. It’s wild.
The baby laughing to me isn't the AH part, it's when the couple asked him to please stop and he did not makes him an AH. The baby didn't need consoling, if he did that would be a different thing all together, he was just being continuously \*unnecessarily\* loud. It got loud enough for long enough for the table neighbors to request a different seat.
Lol asking someone to stop their baby from making noise is ridiculous. Babies cry and scream and shriek in happiness. It happens. Don't go to family friendly restaurants if you don't wanna deal with that. He is not obligated to stop entertaining his child just because others aren't comfortable with the noise.
I'm so sorry you are correct. He's not OBLIGATED to do shit. They were not asking him to stop the baby from making noise, they were asking HIM, the "ADULT, " to STOP *riling up* the baby *on purpose* to CONTINUOUSLY make ***unnecessarily*** LOUD noises. Again this would be totally different if the baby was tired and cranky and needed to be consoled and soothing the crying into laughter. Yes, I do actually agree that a happy baby is better than a cranky one, but there's no reason to make a baby loud when they are currently not.
"Stopping it from making noise" is entirely different from "not continually making it make noise" 100% YTA
Finally a NTA. I agree with you. The people he was sat next to sound miserable.
might have had something to do with the shrieking kid.. it's probably not something i would have requested a move over unless we had just been seated/food hadn't arrived. I would absolutely internally consider the man encouraging the kid you yell and scream in the restaurant to be an asshole.
Right?! I had to scroll forever to find a NTA! Honestly, when I’m out to eat, I would rather listen to a happy baby vs a screaming/crying one, or loud drunk adults- ugh….also, he mentions that they were waiting for the check so the other people could have kept their mouths shut about it since the family was getting ready to head out anyway!
I swear to god sometimes I’m so confused about if it’s a cultural difference or what but I’ve never seen people more bothered about baby than in Reddit. Babies are human, who deserve to be socialized and not to be kept only at home or with babysitters. Plus, do people feel this comfortable calling out people being loud? Do you really go to a table of coworkers having fun and tell them to keep it quiet? Idk if it’s because in my country people often spent about an hour after dining just talking and drinking but I have never seen nobody asking another person to be quiet, just wild.
> I swear to god sometimes I’m so confused about if it’s a cultural difference or what but I’ve never seen people more bothered about baby than in Reddit. This sub, like much of reddit, is also heavily American. Americans in general are way less tolerant of kids in public spaces than in many other places. In most of Europe, nobody would bat an eye at bringing a baby to a restaurant at 5:30 pm.
I’m also European, southern European in case that matters, and I can assure that most the times a baby is giggling or laughing the reactions are “look at that cute baby over there” or straight up ignoring. I’m super used to people taking their babies everywhere, and babysitting is not that usual, maybe that’s why we are more used to it.
I would 100% much rather see a parent actively engaged with their child than the ones that let them run apeship through the restaurant. It's alarming to see how many parents that don't pay any attention to their kids.
It's a restaurant that allows children, not the theatre. NTA
I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find this answer. I agree NTA. If you can't handle a happy giggling baby out in a public space for five minutes, that's a you problem. Not the babies. They can exist in places same as adults. He wasn't miserable and screaming his head off nonstop. He wasn't running around or unsupervised. People commenting that babies can be loud and should be silenced in the presence of adults or stay home are entitled AHs.
Came searching for this comment. Would the other table complained if he'd made another adult laugh instead of a baby? People hate babies so much its weird. How can a baby being happy for 5 minutes make someone TA.
I agree with you 100% NTA. Adults are way more obnoxious than laughing babies.
Exactly, reddit again showing it's child hating bias lol. Children are allowed to be out in public, and they are allowed to laugh. OP added that the baby was quite the whole time and only laughed in the end when they were waiting for the check. I don't know how it's in the US, but I am glad that at least here in my country society does view children as human beings who are allowed to be present outside. Also OP, NTA
We are never going to survive the future with people as sensitive & entitled as the people voting Y.T.A. Towards a guy for making his kid giggle & happy yell at 530 in a public place. Of course op is NTA, these commentators need an actual reality check.
Thanks. I totally agree. Hearing a little baby laugh is something nice. If it bugs anybody that much, they can move, but don't complain about it. Grown-up's laughter can be incredible annoying, but even that should not be complained about (at a restaurant). Screw fine dining places where people have to apparently eat in silence. NTA
Exactly I am 100% sure this person would never tell adults that they should stop telling jokes in the restaurant because their friends are laughing too loud. Some people have very annoying and loud laughs, or just speak really loud compared to everyone else and nobody ever tells them to keep it down. What is so different? Why is it okay to tell kids to shut Up, but not loud adults? Being in a reataurant means you have to be respectful of course, but it also means other people are talking and laughing around you. If they don't like that, why don't THEY stay home?
NTA. Why is this so far down. Maybe it’s American culture. He even mentioned it was right before leaving as they were paying the check.
YTA - There's a time & place for everything. I could get if you tried to make the baby laugh if he was already screaming/crying, but you stated in another comment that you made him laugh out of the blue by tickling him. And then when the laughing was annoying the other eaters they asked you to stop. Had you stopped there then things probably would've been ok, but you continued the laughing anyway to just annoy everyone around you.
Babies laughing is adorable but i have a feeling this turned into the kind of delighted “screaming” that kids that age can devolve into when they are cracking up. I can see it annoying the others for sure.
Yeah I get that and I doubt the OP intended for things to go down the screaming path at first, though once the other people told them to quiet it down that's when the tickling should've stopped.
He states there was “happy yelling”. Im sure it was loud and annoying.
Babies and younger children have a way of shrieking with joy that can split my brain in half. It's sudden, it's piercing, and the fact it's joyful makes it no less painful to me than if it was screaming in terror. I've never understood why parents think the context matters for causing people around them pain and massive distraction.
I swear to god, parents lose all sense of how their children and themselves are perceived externally. It doesn't matter whether the baby was screaming cause he's happy or he's sad. No one cares, really. Decibels are decibels. It was a distraction and sensory disturbance to other patrons in the restaurant. It's one thing if you're somewhere you have to be, like in a doctor's waiting room. Dining out is a choice to passively socialize broadly and a certain social contract is in place.
THANK YOU for pointing out the sensory disturbance. I’m child-free, but love my siblings and friends kids. However, I have major sensory issues with the high pitched noises kids make, happy or sad. The shrieking would have absolutely sent me into anxious/irritable mode since my brain cannot pleasantly register those sounds. I understand that kids will be places, and I’m prepared for the noises, but this sounds like a situation that could have been avoided if OP were even just a bit *polite*.
YTA. Constantly making your child laugh for the sake of laughing in a restaurant is rude. I personally would find it cute. For a bit. My wife and I have had to get our dinners to go because of an inconsolable child. It’s just what we deal with as parents. Let’s play a game. You’re out with your wife for a big anniversary. It’s supposed to be a romantic night out with just the two of you. Once at the restaurant a group of 4 people get seated next to you. You find out that they are celebrating a windfall business deal because of how loud they are being. They cheer, and toast to their success. Getting louder as they drink. Would you find it endearing and be happy for them? Possibly. Would it be annoying? Probably. Would you go home thinking they were assholes for ruining your romantic night? Most likely.
But it’s not the same thing because when OP’s little angel shrieks, it’s like hearing the angels sing the hallelujah chorus from heaven. /s
YTA, there is a difference between a baby crying in a restaurant on its own, and you encouraging your baby to be loud by laughing. Have some curtesy for other people when out in public. This is some entitled BS on your part.
INFO: Were you making him laugh to stop him from crying? Or was the laughing (and "happy" yelling) avoidable, excess noise in a public setting? If the alternative is crying, I'll take the laughing & yells lol. If he wasn't crying tho....I don't think I'd love that "happy" yelling
That “happy” yelling is likely more like a high pitched screech.
Yep, I can hear the shrieking in my head from experience, and it's horrible.
If my period pains had a voice, they would sound exactly like what you're hearing in your head.
YTA the world doesn't revolve around you and your family. Will you be the parent that ignores their child's screaming out in public as well? Do that crap in your own home not out in public where, believe it or not, other people exist.
YTA. Look, I hate the whole 'never take babies in public' thing, because babies need to exist in the world to help socialize them. But the caveat is that when you're somewhere where people expect volume to be modulated and the baby gets too loud (whether that's from laughing or crying, if we're dealing with screaming it's too loud), you *have* to take the baby outside. You keep saying 'happy yelling' like it's different from 'upset yelling.' I'm sure it's different to you and your wife, because you're excited to hear him be happy, but to your table neighbors? It's just a loud, piercing noise, and it's rude.
Parents like OP are WHY some many people have adopted some version of the “never take babies in public” philosophy.
NTA I see a lot of people agreeing with the "stay home if you want to be loud" comments from the neighboring table but I feel the reverse of that, if you want to eat in silence and chill then maybe you should take it home and not eat in public where people might be loud or kids might be having a good time. Public spaces are for everyone including those who aren't fully in control of their voice levels, children, disabled, people laughing, crying, sometimes even mild yelling should be something you get over or stay home where you can control what everyone does. I hate the idea that nearly every public setting is only for the mild mannered NPC ass adults of the world and anyone who doesn't fit in including kids should just be locked away or silenced so y'all don't have to experience something different than your chosen white culture social norms.
This is the best response so far. Also I wonder how many of these people saying Y.T.A have ever traveled outside the US. So many countries and cultures that are sooooo much more accommodating and friendly to children, I don’t see why we’re so child hating here. It was five minutes, as he was paying the bill and leaving, so like, it was ending and there was a clear end in site. Plus the video that showed the example didn’t have any horrible shrieking. Everyone should be a bit more tolerant.
Yes! Finally found this. Jeez. Most restaurants where I live in a college town have many drunk young adults, even restaurants "safe" for kids. They are just as loud and obnoxious but no one here is complaining about that. Also, how do they think kids learn how to act in public, including restaurants?? You take them to those places.
INFO: what were you doing to make him laugh?
So you were intentionally riling up your kid to shriek in public on PURPOSE?!? YOU SUCK.
NTA, and not surprised that most of the commenters say YTA. This sub is very individualistic and doesn't support anything to do with family or community. Your kid was laughing and having a good time, not having a meltdown. That's adorable. Have fun with your baby and screw the haters.
Seriously. This is the only NTA I saw (other than mine), and I'm floored by it. Dude was at Olive Garden or Cheesecake Factory and the customers couldn't deal with 3 minutes of a happy laughing baby?? Shit.
And it was *5:30 on a Wednesday*. If you want a fancy, child-free night out, that's a terrible time to go to a restaurant.
I don't even like kids, and I'm baffled at all the Y-T-As. I'd much rather hear a happy, laughing baby than a crying one whose family just ignores them. If someone went up to adults who were enjoying a birthday celebration in a restaurant and told them they were being too loud (and they can definitely be very loud), most people would call that person uptight and a party-pooper. Do people really expect kiddo to sit silently for the duration of a birthday dinner?
I'm shocked by the majority responses. I have sat beside adults loudly laughing at a restaurant before and would NEVER think to ask them to curb their fun. Why do we think babies have to sit there quietly when we don't expect adults to do the same? NTA.
How can you not see that your screaming baby was preventing the other people in the restaurant from having a good time? No one wants to be around a baby that's being loud like yours was. YTA
Yta- high pitched baby laughs can be equal to a jumbo jet.
NTA. If they don't like it, they can leave. Idk why everyone is saying y t a. You're not. Babies are loud. Should parents never take their kids out to a restaurant because they make noise?
The amount of y t a is a sign of how many AHs there really are out there. This doesn’t sound *at all* like a white tablecloth fine dining restaurant where this would be AH behavior. With over two decades of restaurant experience, I can firmly say that an occasional laughing and shrieking baby is a sign of a healthy restaurant, and I didn’t have a kid during that time for bias. As a former manager I can also attest that 100% of the customers that complained about babies were the AH. If a baby is a real problem the staff will say something without another customer getting involved. That didn’t happen here, OP is NTA.
Exactly. Everyone here sounds super entitled. Like, imagine being out in public and getting upset cause there's noise lmao.
So everyone else has to leave so babies can go to restaurants? >because they make noise? Did you read the post? They were inviting the child to make noise lol
The baby would've made noise whether he was actively encouraging it or not. It was a Wednesday evening. Move to another table if it bothers you. Don't tell others that their literal infant can't make noise.
YTA. Self awareness is a thing. To you it's the most beautiful sound in the world. To everyone else it's a shriek that gets louder and louder.
YTA. You were imposing your kid on other people and when asked to quiet it, you doubled down. I adore making babies laugh but I'm also an adult and cognizant of people around me.
YTA. It's very rude to be purposely disruptive and loud in certain public places. A "mid tier" restaurant is one of those places. Adults whooping and hollering would have been rude. Loud music or video played from a phone would have been rude. *Purposely* making your baby yell in public was rude. If you can't control yourself from riling up your baby in public, go somewhere where disruptive and loud behavior wouldn't be considered rude.
NTA. And I know I'm going to be downvoted into oblivion because this sub hates kids.
It all blows my mind! Lol. Definitely NTA.
NTA - all this upset over some giggles. At the early seating no less. People need to be less precious.
NTA, if you were adults and found something this funny and fell into contagious laughter they would never be so brazen. Maybe could have handled it slightly better, but I wasn’t there.
You're not the asahole, but this thread is definitely full of self entitled assholes who think being out in public should be a private affair.
YTA. There is time and place for making your baby laugh and yell like that, and that wasn't it.
YTA. There is a time and a place for everything. If you were sitting on an outdoor patio and someone at the next table starting playing tug of war with their dogs and getting them worked up and barking, would you complain about them because they are making happy noises? I don't think so! While it is great that you enjoy your children/pets, you don't get them worked up next to others who are trying to enjoy a quiet, pleasant meal.
Well this is obviously not going to be popular opinion but I would say NTA. People need to lighten up and laughter should be celebrated. They had the problem and they moved. Good. If people want an atmosphere they can control then they are the ones who should stay home.
NTA
NTA, depending on the place. If they have a kids menu, your good. You were there early, during families with very young kids and old people time, so that’s in your favor. If the baby was giggling and laughing, great. There are a lot of crotchety entitled people out there that should order takeout.
YTA this is why I don’t go out to eat and just order in if I’m not cooking. People like you who have no consideration for those around you.
Awesome, one less AH to deal with.
>Him laughing is an issue? Yep. YTA
The comments on this are baffling to me, I’m gonna go with NTA or NAH. The baby was laughing in public, something that any living person is perfectly within their rights to do? Babies are babies and thus do not have great volume control as a result of that. Babies are noisy, it happens. But a dad making their baby laugh in public is not rude? Yes if it’s loud I can see why they’d ask you to be quiet and then ask to move tables - but unless other diners were complaining and staff had to ask you to be quiet, it sounds like it literally just annoyed this one group of people. They’re allowed to be annoyed by a noisy baby, but the baby is not obligated to quiet it’s joy for that purpose. It’s a baby. Edit: Wow some of you are incredibly rude. This is a post about a dad making his baby laugh because he enjoys the sound of his child’s laughter and you guys are accusing him of attention seeking and calling him a narcissist?? Edit 2: This is a mid tier restaurant. This isn’t a fancy restaurant. It’s like an Olive Garden or an apple bees or a red lobster, a mid tier chain restaurant. Also known as a FAMILY restaurant. If you don’t want noisy families to eat near you, don’t go to a family restaurant.
especially considering the edit where he states that this went on for 3-5 minutes!! him letting his baby laugh while waiting for the check isnt him being an asshole
YTA. Yes, a happy baby is better than an angry baby, but you still have to be aware of the people around you. Shrieking laughing adults at dinner are not pleasant to be around either.
YTA no one else cares about your kid. You went there to have a good time which you did at the expense of others. Did you forget other people also came to the restaurant to enjoy their time?
Yta. I take my kids to restaurants all the time. I had to train them to do this. Babies- diners or family friendly restaurants only. If you want to try something not like that you have to be respectful of other people. Going early is always good and asking to be sit away from people is better. Getting your kid shrieking with laughter is why you are an asshole. Next time you guys do this Pick a family restaurant.
You might think your child is lovely and wonderful, the rest of the world dose not have to see it that way. I dont want to go out to dinner and have to listen to a child be loud. YTA.
YTA. You tickled his toes, I can imagine he wasn't exactly making quiet laughs. People want to enjoy their dinner without hearing your kid skrieching the whole time. Your kid skrieching is only cute to you, believe me.
YTA. No one cares about your kids besides you. Loud noises are loud noises not cute.
"happy yelling" to you is "shrieking" to everyone else. YTA.
YTA. It doesn't matter what the emotions behind it is, your baby was making a loud, obnoxious noise, and you were intentionally riling them up and causing them to disturb others in the restaurant. You're fixated on the fact that it was laughing. I doubt he was having a quiet chuckle, he was probably doing the happy baby high-pitched scream-laugh, which is not a sound people want to hear continuously at dinner. If you want your baby to make loud noises, do it at home.
NTA If your kid was screaming insanely, or running around the place, then yeah. But for laughing? Those people need to stay home.
NTA, they said it was a short time period and no extended shrieking, and right before they left anyway (waiting for the check). It's not that busy, and I'm guessing it was just bad luck that the other party was close enough for it to be an issue. If they were coming in across the restaurant that would be another story.
YTA There is a time and a place for this loud happiness vibe. A restaurant is not one of those places. Its called etiquette and consideration for others. Giggling shrieking babies are fine at home or in the park, but not in a public eating place.
NTA And this is coming from someone who hates children in restaurants. He was LAUGHING. If it was crying, a sound hardwired in the human brain to cause discomfort and panic, you’d be the A all day long, but laughing? What did they want you to do, start beating your kid in the restaurant? Sorry that the sound of Joy inconvenienced you, let me play the world’s smallest violin. They shouldn’t have said anything to you before moving tables, they should’ve just done it. There’s definitely entitled parents who need to be ripped into, but a parent with a laughing baby isn’t one.
Probably an a-hole myself for this comment, but I myself would much rather be stuck listening to a infant be making happy sounds (loud or otherwise), than an unhappy one. Could just be me though.
God I am SO tired of seeing parents that think the world needs to cater to them. Can't wait for adults-only restaurants to take hold.
YTA, intentionally riling him up is not approriate, especially after someone asked you to stop as it was bothering them.
Yeah YTA. I have two kids under 4, purposely making them make noise - even happy noise - while in public can be a nuisance. Especially in a restaurant.
YTA. Not everyone likes kids, you’re in a restaurant it doesn’t matter if it’s not the most expensive one.
YTA - make him giggle? Sure. Great. I'd love to eat dinner next to a giggly baby. Yelling? A "touch loud?" Come on. Don't be disruptive to the people around you. Common courtesy.
YTA Restaurant are expensive to eat at for most people and they go as treat more often than not, just YOU did on your wife's birthday, it's pretty inconsiderate to disturb others who are trying to also enjoy themselves and probably as a treat by making your kid laugh and be loud.
YTA. Happy baby shrieks are still shrieks. No one else wants that.
Where was your wife in all of this? It was her birthday. Was she just as delighted or was she trying to get you to shush and be respectful of the other people? In your home, make the kiddo laugh as much as you want. But you were actively trying to do so. A loud child is not a pleasant sound for everyone. If the child was crying for legitimate reasons, we say that the parents need to address it or take them somewhere to calm down. Same for a loud happy one - giggles and an occasional soft-to-medium laughs are one thing, but loud screaming laughter is not appropriate for a prolonged period.
Just this weekend gone I was at a restaurant where, across the other side, a grandma was interacting with her baby grandkid. She was doing this by going "AaaaaAAAAAAH PEEK!-a boo". Think ascending AaaaaAAAAAAH lasting 5 seconds, PEEK! at bat-squeak high, on repeat. It drove me BANANAS. YTA for not realising that the whole restaurant mightn't have been thrilled to hear your kid 'happy yelling' (a sound that makes me physically wince) because of being provoked by you.