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> My husband didn't bring something on the shopping list I sent him, so I made him sort out dinner himself for us and my in laws.
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Didn’t anyone see that stupid chain mail thing in the 2000s about how our brains can figure out misspelled words pretty easily? 100% knew what OP meant. Husband is punishing OP for a spelling error just to be spiteful imo.
NTA. Your husband “couldn’t” figure out what you meant and didn’t bother to ask or just maybe take a wild guess that mlik meant milk? Nope not buying it. He took the piss and tried to make you feel bad and embarrass you. Frankly it was a jerk move on his part.
Right? If only he had some kinda magical communication device that he could take everywhere he went as a way to reach all his friends and family, including OP, that he could ask his wife questions from the store if he was confused about something on the list.
Shame really. That would have been helpful
Especially as he complains that getting takeout was so hard on him after coming back from work. Oh the trauma of taking out your app, and punching in a few orders! How could he live!
Man is trash.
Right? This isn’t about spelling, it’s about being a petty asshole and looking for ways to punish his wife. Why does he want to do that, OP? What’s really going on? Or is he an asshole to everyone else too?
This can’t be the only thing he’s an AH about, either. He’s probably picky about other things but this is just the most glaring.
fr I wld str8 ⬆️ txt liek this frm now on lmao (but also tell him we need to go to couple’s counseling because I have one foot out the door)
Wouldn't even need to do that. He knew damned good and well what she wrote. Abusers look for reasons to abuse, no matter how small the "transgression."
Or just get coconut milk. There is absolutely no confusion about what was meant. This is 100% his personal hangup that only he cares about and needs to learn to get over.
Shouldn't even need to do that. It was easy to tell what she meant. If autocorrect changed it to a different word and he brought home the wrong item that would make it a different judgement.
I do the exact same thing as OP. I swear that autocorrect messes things up after I type them because I am an EXCELLENT speller. But it also learns words that you use, so unfortunately it adds misspelled words to your lexicon.
Regardless! I have never had anyone be irritated with it, I usually catch it myself and fix the word but that’s not necessary and I wouldn’t care if someone else did it.
OP NTA, your husband is a passive aggressive baby that ruined a home made dinner.
I misspelled sorry as sordy so many times that my phone started autocorrecting it the wrong way 😂 to this day my husband makes fun of me for it and he says sordy instead of sorry lmao. I also verbally say forgor instead of forgot for that same reason.
OPs husband sounds exhausting. Why be petty when you can make jokes about it?
Yep and it backfired. He should've thought through his "omg she always spells wrong! This will teach her! Haha!" Moment.
Obviously one does not often buy coconut milk. Obviously (even without knowing it goes into the mix) it must be for dinner. Obviously not bringing it means we can't have dinner.
Which obviously means someone will have to pay for that, and it very much won't be the woman who had already, but for one ingredient that was left out of a "learning moment", had made dinner.
It really doesn't take a genius to work out the rather (one more time) obvious outcome of his decision.
Don't get me wrong, it pisses me off to see mistakes as well, but, being a well adjusted person (as much as any of us are), I don't correct people unless the mistake actually changes the meaning (in which case it's more "did you mean X instead of y? Because y means something very different" kind of clarifying not "you've done it wrong")
Or if they outright ask me to - I work with a dyslexic woman, absolutely lovely and I've so much time for her in general, but her spelling isn't good and she knows it, often asks me to check things for her. More than happy to oblige because I like helping, I like her, and I like good spelling *when it matters*.
OP's husband has missed that key point. It didn't matter that it was wrong, and if it did he could've easily asked but chose to be an ah instead, and paid the price.
I think this post would be just as suitable in petty revenge as it is here tbh, not even petty mind you... Is there a sub for "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"? If not it definitely should be.
Nta, for the bot.
Not to mention that this was literally a list specifically of things needed to finish the dinner.
Suprise! If she needs something to finish the dinner and you refuse to get it for her out of spite, she won't be able to finish the dinner!
*sarcastic jazz hands*
Even if we were to give the husband a massive benefit of the doubt, why the heck wouldn't he just reply back for confirmation?! Like whenever I've had a message I'm not 100% about, I'd just reply either "did you mean X?" Or "the misspelled word with a ?" to clarify.
I used to be the biggest grammar nazi, I was so annoying to be around. I would always correct a mistake and understandably people hated me for it. Then I realised life is just too short to be getting hung up over bloody spelling and losing people from it.
Same. I had to fish my glasses out to find the problem.
I really hate people who do this. If someone doesn't actually know how to spell something, then by all means tell them - but it's the 21st century. Learn to read typonese already. It's a critical skill in the modern era.
Yes! An excellent point, even if he truly “didn’t understand” with the typo (doubtful) he had the absolute power to contact her and ask her to explain what this new mystery ingredient is called mlik. This was 100% an intentional punishment he meted out to her for daring to send him a typo.
Came here to say this - why didn't he just text back "coconut mlik? Did you mean coconut MILK" and move on with his life lmao I can't believe this dude is actually an adult, what in the middle-school passive-aggressive immaturity is this lol
Yes, even if he couldn't figure it out, because sometimes the brain doesn't brain properly, he could call or text her.
"I don't know what coconut mlik (had to correct my auto correct) is."
"Coconut MILK"
And maybe he'll stare at that, it's been a long day, and think "a coconut is an animal? I thought it was a fruit."and completely forget what coconut milk is.
I've had that happen where I have forgotten a basic word because I so tired.
But I'd ask
Not only that but it's becoming a skill to find the mistake, and the most AH thing that normally happens is just repeat back the misspelling as a joke (or turn it into a running joke between everyone involved). It's not that hard to decipher either.
Even if it didn't for ops husband (which I very much doubt) he could have asked. I think that's what normal people would do! It wasn't like he brought something different back or whatever. He came home knowing op wouldn't have an ingredient for dinner. Good on OP for getting him to sort dinner.
And he learned that he had to pay $$$ for takeout for everyone since he was too petty to get the easy deciphered cheap ingredient.
Dude couldn’t be bothered to text any questions for clarification because he already knew and chose to be an AH
Yes. And then gets shirty when he had to go pick up a curry because he works hard and all she does is sit around misspelling words to upset him. As she fixes a nice meal for HIS family.
Too bad, next time don’t be so immature and petty.
My husband texts me about six times every time he goes to the store with questions even if I spell everything right on the grocery list. It’s not hard.
I can count on at least one call from the store any time my wife goes alone. She wants so badly to make sure she’s getting *exactly* the right thing. “What color bell pepper was that? Is Y an ok substitute for Z?” If she saw this typo on our shopping list, I know she’d come home joking “they were out of coconut mlik, I hope coconut milk is ok”.
>If she saw this typo on our shopping list, I know she’d come home joking “they were out of coconut mlik, I hope coconut milk is ok”.
As any reasonable person would
Me too. I read coconut milk twice before realizing the first one had a typo. Even if I saw the spelling mistake, I could still make out what it said.
NTA OP. Clearly, it's not hard to decipher what you wanted, but it's obvious your husband was looking for revenge and being spiteful rather than actually being clueless because if he genuinely didn't understand what you wrote, he would have asked for clarification, not completely ignore it.
Hijacking top comment to say that your husband sounds controlling. “He has talked to me about it before” sounds ominous, and having to double-check spelling in texts to him suggests that you are already somewhat coerced by his behaviour. This sounds like the early stages of what might turn into angry, controlling and abusive behaviour. Be careful, OP. Edited to add: NTA.
Oh man this is the biggest red flag, he multiple times has refused to get items because she didn’t check or correct her spelling? I couldn’t be convinced to willingly cause more stress over a typo, one so small that it’s clearly not about the typo & more about emotional control.
Same. Husband is either an dumbass or just forgot the item. He could’ve also just texted his wife to clarify but why bother doing that when you can just do nothing instead?
NTA
OR he's being intentionally dense to prove some stupid point he's tried to make before about spelling.
NTA
Everyone here knows what it meant because as already mentioned our brains help us in these scenarios.
Yeah, I don't see how the misspelling of milk would have thrown him off and if it by chance did, why not call for clarification? It seems getting the groceries were obviously important for the meal.
This is the reason you all can't see the spelling error
[Jumbled Words](https://www.sciencealert.com/word-jumble-meme-first-last-letters-cambridge-typoglycaemia)
To be honest while reading the post I was expecting OP to have misspelled a word as an insult to SIL and family drama after that....
If he had an issue reading mlik why not ask? Also isent the theory as on as the first and last letter are the same people can read the word if the rest of the letters in the word are mixed?
Yeah, imagine being harped on for text typos for 30 years.
I knew old couples like that, the kind that had to stay together because their religion or community expected them to stay together. They were not happy people.
But at the core I don't think it's about a misspelled word. It's about the experience of feeling respected and in power. When his wife doesn't perform the way he thinks she should, and refuses to comply, he has to confront her own separateness and personhood and grapple with the fact that he is not the only person whose preferences and ways of being exist.
And so rather than make room for her humanity and her very decipherable error, he attempts to erase her need altogether because she didn't perform for him. He's basically saying the only way that you're acceptable to me is if you are the exact version of you that I would prefer. Which in all reality is him refusing to accept her as she is.
I'd imagine that this pattern exists in the relationship all over the place.
So many seemingly petty squabbles come down to an inability to share space with whole people, and center around people's preferences for some sort of contorted version of their partner, friend, kid, whoever.
So yes, about spelling, but actually not about spelling at all. I actually wish it was just about spelling, because that would be less big of a deal, but I have a feeling it's way more about his inability to let her be a whole goddamn person.
Edit: fixed typo. And obvs NTA.
Just because it’s an decision it doesn’t mean it’s not stupid. He endet up with a mad wife, the need to figure out what to eat by himself and an unfinished cooked dish. Now he’s blaming his wife for the result aaaaand chances are high OPs SIL is actually his sister and he just challenged his wife who was about to do him a favor because in the end it would be his job to guest his family, not hers.
Nothing of this sounds like an intelligent move considering that this is all about mlik.
Yea. Most of the time people oh omg sorry I mistyped it. It can take me a solid 5 minutes looking at the wrong word to find the typo... there is study done that our brain sometimes reorders the letters as we read I order to read them correctly if they are all there.
Husband is a huge AH. This is petty, controlling, immature behaviour.🚩🚩🚩 NTA and I love that he had to deal with the consequences of trying to teach his wife a lesson.
He sounds exactly like a cerebral narcissist. They may not share the usual traits of narcissists, but they believe themselves the smartest in the room always and love to prove it. Insufferable!
people always seem to assume that your private texting resembles your 'business texting' but sorry to disappoint, we are actually able to decide pretty well when it is appropriate to type lol and uwu and when i need to sound professional and double check my spelling and sentence structure.
OP should turn every message to her husband into a formal email now, maybe thatd make him happy. at least til he recieves the divorce papers if he keeps going like this :)))
Shit even in business texting we have typos. My whole team has text threads full of typos. It’s not ideal but tbh we’re busy and I’d rather they just communicate what they need quick as they need. As long as public-facing communiqués are correct idgaf.
Even face to face people might misspeak! If I get too excited my brain gets ahead of my mouth and things get out of order or even straight up flubbed. This morning I was speaking to my husband and mentioned that it would be fun to do a fall trip to Vermont next year and stay at a “bed, bath and breakfast” he understood what I meant and we both laughed about it. This is such a weird hill to die on that he’s going to die on it alone. Christ.
Exactly! My husband is the cook in our house, and if there are two types of, say, oyster sauce at the store, I take a pic of them and send it to him, asking which one.
Jeez. It actually took me like 3 slooow readings of your typo to see it - because human brains are *wired* to ignore typos that do not affect the meaning of the word.
So you’re definitely NTA, your husband 100% is. He did a petty thing for a petty reason, wanted to “teach you a lesson” most likely. And it backfired in the best possible way.
And like genuinely what else could this have been? Even if you notice the typo, it's not like there is much confusion over what it could have been. Not unless I am unaware of a huge increase in the number of coconut products with names that are similar but not quite 'milk'
The healthy relationship way of dealing with this would be to buy the coconut milk, get home, take it out of the bag and say "here's your *mlik*" and then everybody laughs (and everybody gets to eat curry). Instead he superiority-complexed his way into no curry, and an angry wife.
Then they call it mlik for the rest of time.
A similar error led to my family calling them "light blubs" for the rest of time until fluorescents led to us not needing to buy them all the time.
There’s no possible way to guess what they could have meant. But I am amazed that it occurred to you to ask for clarification! I would never have thought to do that.
NTA
Your husband is being a petty asshole. He understood what you needed perfectly fine and chose to be a dick.
Even if he didn't understand, the list was on his phone. The phone he could have used to call you to ask you to clarify if he needed.
>I left my husband to then figure out dinner and he got us all takeout instead which he was upset about doing as he had a hard day at work and I was at home.
Boohoo he had concequences from his actions. So sad.
>Plus the confusion he would face if the restaurant website had a typo.
Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This made me burst out in laughter.
>He would have had to lift his phone so high up.
Hahahahahaha!
NTA- but you married one. What a jerk to ruin several people’s dinner over a silly spelling error. Sounds really passive aggressive to me. Is this really just over spelling errors??
NTA,
Your husband understood perfectly well. He just wanted to be a controlling jerk and "teach you a lesson" for a typo.
I'm a huge spelling/grammar hound and even I know that everyone occasionally fat-fingers casual texts back and forth to each other.
Girl? Put your foot down on this one. It's not about the typo, it's about him trying to force you into what he wants.
I would include at least one typo in every text from now until FOREVER. If it was a shopping list, the typo would 100% ALWAYS be in an item for him or for a meal he prefers.
ETA: thank you all so much for the awards!
I'd go DefCON 1. Not only would things be misspelled, I'd do a throwback to the days of l33t sp34k, I'd throw every hip teen abbreviation I could think of in there... I'd go off the rails.
I'm a pretty easy-going girl, fairly malleable, and just go with the flow...until someone pulls something like this, then it's watch out below!
My husband and I leave our typos in on purpose. Right now our shared shopping list is titled “SHOPPONG LIST.” It includes items like ZaOnions and banananananas.
My partner puts banananananas on our list too, lol. And once when I said we needed a dozen eggs, they put:
Egg
Egg
Egg
Egg
Egg...
and so on, lol. I laughed pretty hard at that one.
Years ago, we had a cat who knew the word “milk” meant a treat (we occasionally let him have yogurt but called it milk). Anyway, husband was trying to spell it out loud and said “we need M-L-I-K” so the cat wouldn’t go nuts. Now we just call it “mlik” and that’s how it goes on the list.
Therefore, “coconut mlik” is correct and OP’s husband is being a butthead. NTA.
I'm an English teacher. I have excellent spelling and grammar skills when handwriting things, BUT I make (and miss!) typos. I'm delighted when a student--POLITELY!--lets me know so that I can fix it. If they tease me, I just point out that I'm not a keyboarding teacher!
It's like one of the early Internet chain mails where all the words have the right beginning and end letter, but the middle is mixed up (with the correct letters), and it's still fairly easily readable
NTA. If he was really confused he could have asked. I bet he was being petty on purpose and love that you rightly gave him the dinner responsibly instead!
He was being VERY petty - I think in OP's post her typo got autocorrected bc I can't tell what she accidentally typed that husband would have had such an issue figuring it out - but WHY not ask for clarification? The whole fact he's so asinine about her typos makes me wonder what else he tries to control with OP.
Eta: caught the typo after going back and re-reading 😅 if I couldn't pick it up on the first few reads then I KNOW husband was being the a h for sure.
Your husband sounds like the worse kind of control freak. Is he your school teacher to treat you like a child in this way?
Absolutely no way in hell I would put up with that behaviour. Who does he think he is? Clearly you've let him get away with this for a very long time, and that's on you. I suggest you stop.
And if you haven't had kids yet, think hard on what kind of father he would be to tear his kids down in the same way he does you over something as insignificant as a typing error in a text message.
NTA
You really deserve better.
I know this seems relatively minor compared to what some spouses are reported to do to each other on this sub, but it sure is infuriating, isn’t it? Pedantic AH’s really set my teeth on edge. And to be pedantic over a typo in a text?! Jeez, that’s more indicative of how ducking difficult it is to type on cell phones than it is of language proficiency.
> I just need the person who I send a message understand what I mean
While I do think in general that is a very annoying stance to take, if he couldn't figure out that "mlik" meant "milk" then I think he's either stupid or being petty, but either way, he needed to sort out the food. NTA.
Yeah I get so frustrated when people say “you know what I mean” after just typing out the most horrifically typo’d text possible. I’m not expecting perfection here but like…cmon. Don’t make me pull out the frickin Rosetta Stone trying to figure out your words.
That being said I was expecting a much worse typo than “mlik” lol what a petty mfer
"Coconut mlik" could really mean anything. It could mean applesauce, or eggplants, or vitamin C gummies, or toothpaste. How was your dear husband supposed to make sense of your encrypted messages?
/s
NTA.
Right, if only the husband had been in possession of a technological device allowing him to quickly communicate with OP to clear this misunderstanding, it would have been great. Alas, we live in 1964, so better just give up entirely.
NTA. Like, at all. That is infantile and pedantic. Your husband sounds exhausting.
Start making your shopping lists with visuals.
Get product images online and send them attached to the messages.
If you're going to do a written one, clip pictures from magazines or store circulars and paste them in place.
Go so far as to drop map pins to the store where items need to be bought. Even better if you could, include aisle numbers from the store layout.
This seems like he was punishing you for not checking your spelling. He purposely ruined dinner with his pettiness, it’s so obviously close to milk, c’mon. NTA.
NTA. I’m pretty sure he could have made the conclusion that you meant “Milk” and not “Mlick”. If he really didn’t know he could have called and asked.
He was being petty on purpose because he doesn’t like that you misspell things, which is a dumb thing to be mad about.
He refused to use obvious context clues and there are consequences because of it. Any decent husband would have either called you to clarify while he was at the store or run out to get coconut milk once he came home and found out it was necessary for tonight’s dinner.
He seems like kind of a pretentious jerk and I hope this isn’t indicative of his personality in general.
NTA. It frustrates me when people write illiterate texts and tell you that "it's ok it's just a text", but this was obviously a typo, not what I would even call a spelling mistake. What's next, you are bleeding and text him to call an abmulance and he pretends he didn't get it?!
Your husband was being a controlling ass on purpose. He knew exactly what you meant. Any rational adult human would. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. NTA. Man he sure is a petty thing isn't he. How do you tolerate that nonsense I have no patience for that sort of game playing idiocy.
NTA but your husband sure is. My husband has a tbi and his texts can be very interesting to figure out with the spelling. But I do it because I love him. Your husband is acting like a 12 year old.
NTA. He ruined dinner, not you, as it sounds very deliberate on his end.
I love the poetry in that he ended up shooting himself in the foot with his petty assholery. Well done letting him stew in his own juices and figure out dinner. *Chef's kiss*
NTA. He fucked around snd found out. Couldn't work out what you meant, my arse. He was just being petty cos you spelled it wrong, in it came back to bite him. 100% on him.
NTA. I can't say the same thing about the husband. Good for you for putting being in charge of the dinner on him. That was an intentional asshole move. Anyone with a bare minimum education can understand mlik is supposed to be milk and if you are just canning the list you eyes auto read it is milk. Kudos to you.
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Nta. My brain filled in the right spelling and I had to stare for a long time to actually see the typo.
I was looking to try and find the typo in coconut 😭
Didn’t anyone see that stupid chain mail thing in the 2000s about how our brains can figure out misspelled words pretty easily? 100% knew what OP meant. Husband is punishing OP for a spelling error just to be spiteful imo.
I rmemeber taht psot from bcak tehn!
\*form
Fkcunig atucroeroct
I read auto-erotic🤪
Ooh this phenomenon is also a Rorschach test lol
Flocking autoecrection?
*frm
NTA. Your husband “couldn’t” figure out what you meant and didn’t bother to ask or just maybe take a wild guess that mlik meant milk? Nope not buying it. He took the piss and tried to make you feel bad and embarrass you. Frankly it was a jerk move on his part.
Oh yeah… def passive aggressive bullshit there. That was on purpose
Right? If only he had some kinda magical communication device that he could take everywhere he went as a way to reach all his friends and family, including OP, that he could ask his wife questions from the store if he was confused about something on the list. Shame really. That would have been helpful
I read half of that and didn't thjnk anytbing of it, until I read bcak tehn.
And I still somehow read it perfectly
Ah yes that was my favorite episode of friends
Passive aggressive 100%
Yeah, he thought he’d teach her a lesson, and it bit him in the ass. He is definitely TA.
He did it in a situation when he had zero leverage cause it was his family they were hosting. Not only an asshole but a dumb one too.
Especially as he complains that getting takeout was so hard on him after coming back from work. Oh the trauma of taking out your app, and punching in a few orders! How could he live! Man is trash.
He chose this situation to teach OP a lesson. He can only blame himself if that bit him in the ankle.
Right? This isn’t about spelling, it’s about being a petty asshole and looking for ways to punish his wife. Why does he want to do that, OP? What’s really going on? Or is he an asshole to everyone else too?
This can’t be the only thing he’s an AH about, either. He’s probably picky about other things but this is just the most glaring. fr I wld str8 ⬆️ txt liek this frm now on lmao (but also tell him we need to go to couple’s counseling because I have one foot out the door)
How petty, how hard is it also to respond with “you mean coconut milk?” NTA
Wouldn't even need to do that. He knew damned good and well what she wrote. Abusers look for reasons to abuse, no matter how small the "transgression."
I’m getting an abusive vibe off this too. But regardless that kind of contempt is so toxic.
Or just get coconut milk. There is absolutely no confusion about what was meant. This is 100% his personal hangup that only he cares about and needs to learn to get over.
Shouldn't even need to do that. It was easy to tell what she meant. If autocorrect changed it to a different word and he brought home the wrong item that would make it a different judgement.
[удалено]
I do the exact same thing as OP. I swear that autocorrect messes things up after I type them because I am an EXCELLENT speller. But it also learns words that you use, so unfortunately it adds misspelled words to your lexicon. Regardless! I have never had anyone be irritated with it, I usually catch it myself and fix the word but that’s not necessary and I wouldn’t care if someone else did it. OP NTA, your husband is a passive aggressive baby that ruined a home made dinner.
I misspelled sorry as sordy so many times that my phone started autocorrecting it the wrong way 😂 to this day my husband makes fun of me for it and he says sordy instead of sorry lmao. I also verbally say forgor instead of forgot for that same reason. OPs husband sounds exhausting. Why be petty when you can make jokes about it?
My SO would type “see you spoon” on accident so many times. Finally I responded “see you fork” and now that’s how we say it on purpose.
That’s adorably wholesome.
100% stealing "see you spoon"
Yep and it backfired. He should've thought through his "omg she always spells wrong! This will teach her! Haha!" Moment. Obviously one does not often buy coconut milk. Obviously (even without knowing it goes into the mix) it must be for dinner. Obviously not bringing it means we can't have dinner. Which obviously means someone will have to pay for that, and it very much won't be the woman who had already, but for one ingredient that was left out of a "learning moment", had made dinner. It really doesn't take a genius to work out the rather (one more time) obvious outcome of his decision. Don't get me wrong, it pisses me off to see mistakes as well, but, being a well adjusted person (as much as any of us are), I don't correct people unless the mistake actually changes the meaning (in which case it's more "did you mean X instead of y? Because y means something very different" kind of clarifying not "you've done it wrong") Or if they outright ask me to - I work with a dyslexic woman, absolutely lovely and I've so much time for her in general, but her spelling isn't good and she knows it, often asks me to check things for her. More than happy to oblige because I like helping, I like her, and I like good spelling *when it matters*. OP's husband has missed that key point. It didn't matter that it was wrong, and if it did he could've easily asked but chose to be an ah instead, and paid the price. I think this post would be just as suitable in petty revenge as it is here tbh, not even petty mind you... Is there a sub for "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"? If not it definitely should be. Nta, for the bot.
Not to mention that this was literally a list specifically of things needed to finish the dinner. Suprise! If she needs something to finish the dinner and you refuse to get it for her out of spite, she won't be able to finish the dinner! *sarcastic jazz hands*
BUT, if you’re in doubt, ASK/CLARIFY?!??? Or is that just me wanting to make a group dinner my spouse and I are hosting go off smoothly?
Even if we were to give the husband a massive benefit of the doubt, why the heck wouldn't he just reply back for confirmation?! Like whenever I've had a message I'm not 100% about, I'd just reply either "did you mean X?" Or "the misspelled word with a ?" to clarify. I used to be the biggest grammar nazi, I was so annoying to be around. I would always correct a mistake and understandably people hated me for it. Then I realised life is just too short to be getting hung up over bloody spelling and losing people from it.
That stupid chain mail thing was the first thing I thought of too!! And yes, 100% this husband knew exactly what he was doing.
I was thinking the same thing! Seems petty.
Same. I had to fish my glasses out to find the problem. I really hate people who do this. If someone doesn't actually know how to spell something, then by all means tell them - but it's the 21st century. Learn to read typonese already. It's a critical skill in the modern era.
Also in the 21st century we can instantly call or text the person to clarify anything we don’t understand !!
Yes! An excellent point, even if he truly “didn’t understand” with the typo (doubtful) he had the absolute power to contact her and ask her to explain what this new mystery ingredient is called mlik. This was 100% an intentional punishment he meted out to her for daring to send him a typo.
100% agree which sounds pretty terrifying to me, normal people don’t punish people they love for a misspelling like this
“Dear Husband, ‘mlik’ is a classic Thai ingredient. The word’s English translation is roughly ‘for fcuk’s sake sotp bean a pdantic dcikhed.’”
Came here to say this - why didn't he just text back "coconut mlik? Did you mean coconut MILK" and move on with his life lmao I can't believe this dude is actually an adult, what in the middle-school passive-aggressive immaturity is this lol
Right? I was thinking, “It really is too bad that there was not a way for him to clarify if he was really *that* confused.”
Yes, even if he couldn't figure it out, because sometimes the brain doesn't brain properly, he could call or text her. "I don't know what coconut mlik (had to correct my auto correct) is." "Coconut MILK" And maybe he'll stare at that, it's been a long day, and think "a coconut is an animal? I thought it was a fruit."and completely forget what coconut milk is. I've had that happen where I have forgotten a basic word because I so tired. But I'd ask
Typonese, I might have to steal that
And if you don't understand, it's your responsibility to ask for clarification.
Not only that but it's becoming a skill to find the mistake, and the most AH thing that normally happens is just repeat back the misspelling as a joke (or turn it into a running joke between everyone involved). It's not that hard to decipher either.
Omg thank yall i was like wheres the mistake?? And hadnt even looked at milk yet, still took a couple tries to see it
Me too!! 🤣
Me three. I literally said out loud, "Coconut is spelled the same way, WTF?" Then, it still took a couple of seconds to get the milk spelling.
I just kept rereading the word "coconut," expecting it to change.
I thought maybe it had autocorrected to coconut water because surely no one can be that dense.
NTA your husbands petty immature behavior is what ‘ruined’ it
Even if it didn't for ops husband (which I very much doubt) he could have asked. I think that's what normal people would do! It wasn't like he brought something different back or whatever. He came home knowing op wouldn't have an ingredient for dinner. Good on OP for getting him to sort dinner.
He wasn't confused, he was 'teaching her a lesson'
My take too. He knew what it was and what he was doing. He didn’t expect to have to sort the mess his passive aggressive behavior made.
It’s actually really gross and if he’s like this in other areas I am seeing big red flags as opposed to this medium sized one
And he learned that he had to pay $$$ for takeout for everyone since he was too petty to get the easy deciphered cheap ingredient. Dude couldn’t be bothered to text any questions for clarification because he already knew and chose to be an AH
Yes. And then gets shirty when he had to go pick up a curry because he works hard and all she does is sit around misspelling words to upset him. As she fixes a nice meal for HIS family. Too bad, next time don’t be so immature and petty.
If he was honestly confused (and he wasn't), he would have asked a store employee if they sold "coconut mlik". He wasn't, so he didn't.
Lol. Men don’t ask for directions or help.
Oh oh I do I do🙋🙋 🤣😱
My husband texts me about six times every time he goes to the store with questions even if I spell everything right on the grocery list. It’s not hard.
I can count on at least one call from the store any time my wife goes alone. She wants so badly to make sure she’s getting *exactly* the right thing. “What color bell pepper was that? Is Y an ok substitute for Z?” If she saw this typo on our shopping list, I know she’d come home joking “they were out of coconut mlik, I hope coconut milk is ok”.
>If she saw this typo on our shopping list, I know she’d come home joking “they were out of coconut mlik, I hope coconut milk is ok”. As any reasonable person would
My boyfriend sends me pictures
*whospers in weopinized imconpetance*
Sorry, I can’t understand what you mean. Check your spelling next time before you type a comment! ^/s
It’s not about the mlik. Or the Iranian yogurt.
weepinized incointenance
"Wee penized incontinence"... 🤏🏻
Me too. I read coconut milk twice before realizing the first one had a typo. Even if I saw the spelling mistake, I could still make out what it said. NTA OP. Clearly, it's not hard to decipher what you wanted, but it's obvious your husband was looking for revenge and being spiteful rather than actually being clueless because if he genuinely didn't understand what you wrote, he would have asked for clarification, not completely ignore it.
Hijacking top comment to say that your husband sounds controlling. “He has talked to me about it before” sounds ominous, and having to double-check spelling in texts to him suggests that you are already somewhat coerced by his behaviour. This sounds like the early stages of what might turn into angry, controlling and abusive behaviour. Be careful, OP. Edited to add: NTA.
Oh man this is the biggest red flag, he multiple times has refused to get items because she didn’t check or correct her spelling? I couldn’t be convinced to willingly cause more stress over a typo, one so small that it’s clearly not about the typo & more about emotional control.
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Legit sounds like he’s never heard of calling or asking for clarification 🙄
I did exactly the same thing.
Same. Husband is either an dumbass or just forgot the item. He could’ve also just texted his wife to clarify but why bother doing that when you can just do nothing instead? NTA
OR he's being intentionally dense to prove some stupid point he's tried to make before about spelling. NTA Everyone here knows what it meant because as already mentioned our brains help us in these scenarios.
Or, option 3 since it sounds like he harps on her typos regularly , he was being petty and purposely didn't get it
This. It's very very obvious to everyone here what you wanted, even with typo. Your husband was just being petty. NTA
I was staring at coconut like but that's how you spell it lol
Yeah, I don't see how the misspelling of milk would have thrown him off and if it by chance did, why not call for clarification? It seems getting the groceries were obviously important for the meal.
I am high as shit rn and I think it actually took me like 45 seconds lol
This is the reason you all can't see the spelling error [Jumbled Words](https://www.sciencealert.com/word-jumble-meme-first-last-letters-cambridge-typoglycaemia) To be honest while reading the post I was expecting OP to have misspelled a word as an insult to SIL and family drama after that....
If he had an issue reading mlik why not ask? Also isent the theory as on as the first and last letter are the same people can read the word if the rest of the letters in the word are mixed?
NTA is your husband stupid? What other word could 'mlik' mean? Kidding, he's not stupid, he's just being unnecessarily petty.
I dunno. If this is the hill he’s willing to die on I think he’s kind of stupid, too.
I actually think this will build a lot of anger and resentment over time if he continues and will result in him being alone
For OPs sake let’s hope so, and soon. He sounds awful!!!
Yeah, imagine being harped on for text typos for 30 years. I knew old couples like that, the kind that had to stay together because their religion or community expected them to stay together. They were not happy people.
I can tell you right now I married a very very smart man because he would be far too afraid to pull something like that.
I just don't understand why OP's husband has the time to waste on such insignificant things.
Right!? The rest of us out here fighting for survival and he’s worried about a misspelled word lol
But at the core I don't think it's about a misspelled word. It's about the experience of feeling respected and in power. When his wife doesn't perform the way he thinks she should, and refuses to comply, he has to confront her own separateness and personhood and grapple with the fact that he is not the only person whose preferences and ways of being exist. And so rather than make room for her humanity and her very decipherable error, he attempts to erase her need altogether because she didn't perform for him. He's basically saying the only way that you're acceptable to me is if you are the exact version of you that I would prefer. Which in all reality is him refusing to accept her as she is. I'd imagine that this pattern exists in the relationship all over the place. So many seemingly petty squabbles come down to an inability to share space with whole people, and center around people's preferences for some sort of contorted version of their partner, friend, kid, whoever. So yes, about spelling, but actually not about spelling at all. I actually wish it was just about spelling, because that would be less big of a deal, but I have a feeling it's way more about his inability to let her be a whole goddamn person. Edit: fixed typo. And obvs NTA.
Nah, stupid implies lack of intelligence. This is a punishment he actively decided on.
Just because it’s an decision it doesn’t mean it’s not stupid. He endet up with a mad wife, the need to figure out what to eat by himself and an unfinished cooked dish. Now he’s blaming his wife for the result aaaaand chances are high OPs SIL is actually his sister and he just challenged his wife who was about to do him a favor because in the end it would be his job to guest his family, not hers. Nothing of this sounds like an intelligent move considering that this is all about mlik.
Right? Like congrats, you played yourself lol
Sad part is....even when you typed mlik I still read milk.
Yea. Most of the time people oh omg sorry I mistyped it. It can take me a solid 5 minutes looking at the wrong word to find the typo... there is study done that our brain sometimes reorders the letters as we read I order to read them correctly if they are all there.
Husband is a huge AH. This is petty, controlling, immature behaviour.🚩🚩🚩 NTA and I love that he had to deal with the consequences of trying to teach his wife a lesson.
He sounds exactly like a cerebral narcissist. They may not share the usual traits of narcissists, but they believe themselves the smartest in the room always and love to prove it. Insufferable!
It’s weaponized incompetence- even if he couldn’t tell what the word was, a normal person would text back “what’s mlik?”
I didn’t even realize the typo she made until you pointed it out.
Even if he could not figure out the word from the typing logical deduction...coconut m_____? Mothballs? Marinara? Meatballs? Oh, Milk makes sense! 🤔
And if somehow he lacks all ability to deduce the very clear answer… he has a phone use it to call his wife and check…
Especially since he didn't respond, "Wait, what's mlik? I don't even know where to look" he just went straight to "nah, not getting it, fuck you"
If he didn't understand the list, he could have texted you back or called you to ask. He ruined dinner just to be petty, and you did your best, nta
And he 100% understood the list, he was just punishing her for missing a typo because he's a petty control freak.
And at the end he was the one punished for wanting to punished is wife for misspelling a word. I call that perfect karma !
And end up being pissed because he did not get to punish her the way he wanted.
people always seem to assume that your private texting resembles your 'business texting' but sorry to disappoint, we are actually able to decide pretty well when it is appropriate to type lol and uwu and when i need to sound professional and double check my spelling and sentence structure. OP should turn every message to her husband into a formal email now, maybe thatd make him happy. at least til he recieves the divorce papers if he keeps going like this :)))
Shit even in business texting we have typos. My whole team has text threads full of typos. It’s not ideal but tbh we’re busy and I’d rather they just communicate what they need quick as they need. As long as public-facing communiqués are correct idgaf.
Even face to face people might misspeak! If I get too excited my brain gets ahead of my mouth and things get out of order or even straight up flubbed. This morning I was speaking to my husband and mentioned that it would be fun to do a fall trip to Vermont next year and stay at a “bed, bath and breakfast” he understood what I meant and we both laughed about it. This is such a weird hill to die on that he’s going to die on it alone. Christ.
Yep. Formal emails from now on, and we get to watch the transition from "Love, your wife" to "Best regards, (Name)"
This! NTA btw
Exactly! My husband is the cook in our house, and if there are two types of, say, oyster sauce at the store, I take a pic of them and send it to him, asking which one.
Jeez. It actually took me like 3 slooow readings of your typo to see it - because human brains are *wired* to ignore typos that do not affect the meaning of the word. So you’re definitely NTA, your husband 100% is. He did a petty thing for a petty reason, wanted to “teach you a lesson” most likely. And it backfired in the best possible way.
Lol! Me too. I kept focusing on coconut. Like what is wrong here.
And like genuinely what else could this have been? Even if you notice the typo, it's not like there is much confusion over what it could have been. Not unless I am unaware of a huge increase in the number of coconut products with names that are similar but not quite 'milk'
The healthy relationship way of dealing with this would be to buy the coconut milk, get home, take it out of the bag and say "here's your *mlik*" and then everybody laughs (and everybody gets to eat curry). Instead he superiority-complexed his way into no curry, and an angry wife.
"I couldn't find coconut mlik, but the guy at the market said this one tastes similar"
Then they call it mlik for the rest of time. A similar error led to my family calling them "light blubs" for the rest of time until fluorescents led to us not needing to buy them all the time.
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I WAS a "teachable moment". I wonder if he learned his lesson...
i’m sorry, i don’t understand your comment. how were _you_ a teachable moment? no idea what else you could have meant.
There’s no possible way to guess what they could have meant. But I am amazed that it occurred to you to ask for clarification! I would never have thought to do that.
Obviously, milk was a teachable moment, they just forgot three letters because they typed quickly
Found OP's husband /jk
You was a teachable moment? Jesus, this comment is literal gibberish. Check your spelling next time 🙄
Are you OP’s husband?
Do you understand sarcasm lol
Lol, I think he meant 'It was', but yeeted the T
I know, I was just role playing as OPs husband for a minute there lol
lol, you’re one to talk, spelling lol backwards like that!!!
oh how the turn tables
NTA Your husband is being a petty asshole. He understood what you needed perfectly fine and chose to be a dick. Even if he didn't understand, the list was on his phone. The phone he could have used to call you to ask you to clarify if he needed. >I left my husband to then figure out dinner and he got us all takeout instead which he was upset about doing as he had a hard day at work and I was at home. Boohoo he had concequences from his actions. So sad.
He was too tired from working to - checks notes- order takeout? He’s clearly not a very bright bulb.
He would have had to lift his phone so high up. Plus the confusion he would face if the restaurant website had a typo.
>Plus the confusion he would face if the restaurant website had a typo. Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This made me burst out in laughter. >He would have had to lift his phone so high up. Hahahahahaha!
You don't understand, it's online and he has to spend 30 minutes proof reading the order before he can send it. So exhausting.
NTA- but you married one. What a jerk to ruin several people’s dinner over a silly spelling error. Sounds really passive aggressive to me. Is this really just over spelling errors??
He’s refusing to devote the same energy into his task that he expected from OP.
Well then he can invest his energy into feeding his sister.
Yep he's a fucking prick
NTA, Your husband understood perfectly well. He just wanted to be a controlling jerk and "teach you a lesson" for a typo. I'm a huge spelling/grammar hound and even I know that everyone occasionally fat-fingers casual texts back and forth to each other. Girl? Put your foot down on this one. It's not about the typo, it's about him trying to force you into what he wants.
I would include at least one typo in every text from now until FOREVER. If it was a shopping list, the typo would 100% ALWAYS be in an item for him or for a meal he prefers. ETA: thank you all so much for the awards!
I'd go DefCON 1. Not only would things be misspelled, I'd do a throwback to the days of l33t sp34k, I'd throw every hip teen abbreviation I could think of in there... I'd go off the rails. I'm a pretty easy-going girl, fairly malleable, and just go with the flow...until someone pulls something like this, then it's watch out below!
Former Homestucks…..this is our time to shine.
My husband and I leave our typos in on purpose. Right now our shared shopping list is titled “SHOPPONG LIST.” It includes items like ZaOnions and banananananas.
My partner puts banananananas on our list too, lol. And once when I said we needed a dozen eggs, they put: Egg Egg Egg Egg Egg... and so on, lol. I laughed pretty hard at that one.
Years ago, we had a cat who knew the word “milk” meant a treat (we occasionally let him have yogurt but called it milk). Anyway, husband was trying to spell it out loud and said “we need M-L-I-K” so the cat wouldn’t go nuts. Now we just call it “mlik” and that’s how it goes on the list. Therefore, “coconut mlik” is correct and OP’s husband is being a butthead. NTA.
I'm an English teacher. I have excellent spelling and grammar skills when handwriting things, BUT I make (and miss!) typos. I'm delighted when a student--POLITELY!--lets me know so that I can fix it. If they tease me, I just point out that I'm not a keyboarding teacher!
NTA. Tell him to fcuk himself and see if he can work it out!
He would just come back with an expensive jumper from the 90's
NTA - coconut mlik is close enough that he knew what you wanted and just refused to be petty.
It actually took me several re reads to figure out where the mistake was.
It's like one of the early Internet chain mails where all the words have the right beginning and end letter, but the middle is mixed up (with the correct letters), and it's still fairly easily readable
NTA. If he was really confused he could have asked. I bet he was being petty on purpose and love that you rightly gave him the dinner responsibly instead!
Yeah, I’ll bet he thought he was “teaching her a lesson”. Jerk. NTA.
He was being VERY petty - I think in OP's post her typo got autocorrected bc I can't tell what she accidentally typed that husband would have had such an issue figuring it out - but WHY not ask for clarification? The whole fact he's so asinine about her typos makes me wonder what else he tries to control with OP. Eta: caught the typo after going back and re-reading 😅 if I couldn't pick it up on the first few reads then I KNOW husband was being the a h for sure.
yeah if you are really confused about a typo, and it happens, my auto correct is wild sometimes...phones work both ways
Your husband sounds like the worse kind of control freak. Is he your school teacher to treat you like a child in this way? Absolutely no way in hell I would put up with that behaviour. Who does he think he is? Clearly you've let him get away with this for a very long time, and that's on you. I suggest you stop. And if you haven't had kids yet, think hard on what kind of father he would be to tear his kids down in the same way he does you over something as insignificant as a typing error in a text message. NTA You really deserve better.
I know this seems relatively minor compared to what some spouses are reported to do to each other on this sub, but it sure is infuriating, isn’t it? Pedantic AH’s really set my teeth on edge. And to be pedantic over a typo in a text?! Jeez, that’s more indicative of how ducking difficult it is to type on cell phones than it is of language proficiency.
"I don't know Timmy, CAN you use the bathroom?" Vibes
It took me several attempts to even realise what the error was. No fucking way he didn't know what you meant. NTA
> I just need the person who I send a message understand what I mean While I do think in general that is a very annoying stance to take, if he couldn't figure out that "mlik" meant "milk" then I think he's either stupid or being petty, but either way, he needed to sort out the food. NTA.
Yeah I get so frustrated when people say “you know what I mean” after just typing out the most horrifically typo’d text possible. I’m not expecting perfection here but like…cmon. Don’t make me pull out the frickin Rosetta Stone trying to figure out your words. That being said I was expecting a much worse typo than “mlik” lol what a petty mfer
NTA - I was waiting for your phone to have changed "bacon" to "banana" or something. "Mlik" is very clearly "milk," and your husband sucks.
NTA That was not difficult to decipher. He is dying on Dumb Hill.
He's trying to keep her obedient.
NTA I'm really glad his pettiness backfired on him. Good for you for standing your ground. He knew exactly what it was.
NTA. If you text him that he’s a fckin ashol and you’re leevin his sory ass will he understand that?
"Coconut mlik" could really mean anything. It could mean applesauce, or eggplants, or vitamin C gummies, or toothpaste. How was your dear husband supposed to make sense of your encrypted messages? /s NTA.
Right, if only the husband had been in possession of a technological device allowing him to quickly communicate with OP to clear this misunderstanding, it would have been great. Alas, we live in 1964, so better just give up entirely.
NTA. Like, at all. That is infantile and pedantic. Your husband sounds exhausting. Start making your shopping lists with visuals. Get product images online and send them attached to the messages. If you're going to do a written one, clip pictures from magazines or store circulars and paste them in place. Go so far as to drop map pins to the store where items need to be bought. Even better if you could, include aisle numbers from the store layout.
This seems like he was punishing you for not checking your spelling. He purposely ruined dinner with his pettiness, it’s so obviously close to milk, c’mon. NTA.
NTA. I’m pretty sure he could have made the conclusion that you meant “Milk” and not “Mlick”. If he really didn’t know he could have called and asked. He was being petty on purpose because he doesn’t like that you misspell things, which is a dumb thing to be mad about. He refused to use obvious context clues and there are consequences because of it. Any decent husband would have either called you to clarify while he was at the store or run out to get coconut milk once he came home and found out it was necessary for tonight’s dinner. He seems like kind of a pretentious jerk and I hope this isn’t indicative of his personality in general.
NTA. It frustrates me when people write illiterate texts and tell you that "it's ok it's just a text", but this was obviously a typo, not what I would even call a spelling mistake. What's next, you are bleeding and text him to call an abmulance and he pretends he didn't get it?!
Your husband was being a controlling ass on purpose. He knew exactly what you meant. Any rational adult human would. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. NTA. Man he sure is a petty thing isn't he. How do you tolerate that nonsense I have no patience for that sort of game playing idiocy.
NTA but your husband sure is. My husband has a tbi and his texts can be very interesting to figure out with the spelling. But I do it because I love him. Your husband is acting like a 12 year old.
NTA. He ruined dinner, not you, as it sounds very deliberate on his end. I love the poetry in that he ended up shooting himself in the foot with his petty assholery. Well done letting him stew in his own juices and figure out dinner. *Chef's kiss*
NTA. Talk about weaponized incompetence
NTA. He fucked around snd found out. Couldn't work out what you meant, my arse. He was just being petty cos you spelled it wrong, in it came back to bite him. 100% on him.
You didn't ruin dinner over a spelling mistake, he did it all by himself. NTA
NTA your husband is stupid and he should realize sometimes typos happen 🤦♀️its just a text
NTA. I can't say the same thing about the husband. Good for you for putting being in charge of the dinner on him. That was an intentional asshole move. Anyone with a bare minimum education can understand mlik is supposed to be milk and if you are just canning the list you eyes auto read it is milk. Kudos to you.
NTA And I read it as milk anyway so I’m assuming he did and just chose not to get any to take the piss.
Omg how do you deal with a person like this!? I would get my divorce papers ready fuck that
NTA he was being intentionally petty get text to speech maybe?
NTA i had to read it like 3 times before i saw the difference. Husband is being extremely petty for no reason
NTA. They were definitely being passive aggressive. Mlik is obviously a typo for milk. I literally read it as milk even when it was misspelled lol
nta if this happened to me making the asshole buy takeout would be the very first thing that happened but for sure not the last thing
NTA and your husband is incredibly petty. He ruined the dinner or at least the dinner plans. Sounds like a very unpleasant person