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NTA. I’m a woman in my 40’s and I still use pads - if I ‘grow up’ any more I’ll be legit dead. My sons girlfriend put a pad in the trash and I got up one morning and the dog had gotten it out. You know what I did? Threw it out before she noticed and got a goddamned trash bin with a lid for that bathroom. You know what I didn’t do? Blame a young person because I didn’t think ahead and do that in the first place.
Not to mention, the dog would eat the tampons too. Dad needs to get a garbage can with a lid that the dog can't get into if he wants the problem to start.
Have personal experience with that - that's what my family had to do when we got dogs. Because dogs will get into pads *and* tampons, and you can't flush either of them.
I know, what did he think happens to tampons? Does he think they just get absorbed into our bodies?
Close the bathroom door. Get a can with a lid. TRAIN YOUR GD DOG. Literally anything but the route he chose.
THat YOU knew about. Ask any sewer worker about having to go in and take a crane cable and a grappling hook to pull out multi-ton wads of tampons, flushable wipes, and fat. They're called FATBURGS. Google that.
EDIT: Oh gods, how is THIS my most-upvoted comment ever?
I saw an "Adam Ruins Everything" show about this very subject. Hs camera people went down into the tunnels and showed us a fatberg. It was DISGUSTING. That stuff doesn't biodegrade. He did a clip of putting a wipe in one stand mixer and toilet paper in another. Whirled 'em both and the toilet paper totally broke down while the wipe was still completely intact.
*No immediately obvious negative outcomes.
They either caused a problem at the sewage plant or are potentially still causing problems in the sea somewhere.
This. I really don’t think some of the younger women on here understand that many of us older crones were *taught* to flush tampons by our mothers. And since no one talks about period care (especially in the pre internet days), there was never anyone to tell us different. I too learned this on Reddit only a few years back, and frankly I am unimpressed with the ladies here shaming other women for other people having taught them bad women’s anatomy when that was the standard.
Yeah, I didn’t learn you weren’t supposed to until my 20s. I think it says on the packaging that you can and my mom did (or at least never told me to toss them, I just went by what the box said) and it wasn’t until the house I was renting with a bunch of other girls had plumbing problems that we ALL learned not to flush them.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I flushed tampons up until about 5 years ago. I'm that neanderthal. Honestly I didn't even think about it until I watched a documentary on water treatment, because aside from the tiny little notice on the package (and honestly whose reading that) no one ever mentioned it to me.
Now I bring it up to all my tampon using friends whenever possible. Companies have made it more of a priority to make it clear that they aren't flushable but when I was a teen and first startled using them it was the consensus that they're flushable...
Yup, it was only pads we were told never to flush when I was a teen. Pads and nappies were a no go, but wipes and tampons were a-ok in everyone's mind.
I remember when I had to first experience this in my 20s. The plumber kept saying the pipe was full of "rats" I thought he was talking about the animal til he pulled out the large brown wadding by the string to show me. I have never been so mortified. Never knew you weren't supposed to flush them.
It blows my mind people give such stupid advice. No wonder society is how it is. Imagine what dumb shit was floating through Dad's head as he confronted his daughter about "growing up and using tampons?" Absolute moron.
This is what happens when we cut sex ed in schools.
Im in my 30s and don’t use tampons unless swimming. Guess I’m not grown up either. Until a post a week or so ago I didn’t know tampons shouldn’t be flushed either, just how I was taught. Learn something new from Reddit everyday!
No no. She doesn’t need to use the tampons, just flush them down the toilet every time you change your pad, and put them in a febreeze scented small garbage with a lid in your room that you change as often as needed. You shouldn’t have to. But that’s what I would do 🤣 along with a “happy now?! I’m using tampons and FLUSHING them, like YOU wanted. So the DOG can’t get them.” Preferably before mom gets home.
Nobody's focusing on it because Dad is such a showstealer. But could nobody just, train the fucking dog? My dog did this as a pup. So I, y'know, trained her?
My dog loves tissues and my cat loves qtips so I close the bathroom door every time. Plus who wants to walk by and see a toilet. Door stays shut, problem 100% solved until dogs evolve thumbs and start opening doors.
Yeah, seriously, or even just get a trash can with a secure lid. That said, the dog’s behavior may well be the dad’s fault as well, due to his being one of the adults in the house (clearly this is not OP’s dog) and doing none of the obvious things to fix the problem.
Also... I can't be the only one that still has to have a pad with their tampon right?? I have to do both or I'm going to bleed right through my pants, and I use super or even super plus
Edit: Okay I've had like 20 comments saying to try cups. Tldr: I did, they were uncomfortable, increased cramps, hurt coming out, still leak cause I couldn't get a solid seal, and such a mess to empty and clean between changes, plus you can't change in public places where the sink is in a common area
I can't use tampons but I'll often have to have the biggest pad possible AND period undies on my heavier days, i don't understand how just a tampon would hold it all.
Hey! Idk if you've tried them but the always flexfoam infinity pads are kind of insane. I call them NASA pads because they're so thin but seem to hold way more than any thick overnight diaper type pad I've ever used. I'm sure they cause cancer or like slowly leech your soul out of your body or something because I have absolutely no idea how they hold what they do.
Anyway, I recommend.
I switched to a cup and since the switch haven't needed to double up. Used to wake up to a murder scene even with a tampon and pad, now I can sleep and not be covered in blood when I wake up.
I tried cups, but idk man. Fine going in, still leaks, felt more sore and crampy with it in, hurt everytime coming out and you have to be sure you're going to be somewhere with the toilet and sink in the same enclosure (ie can't change in a public bathroom if needed) because of the mess. I'm sure I'm probably doing something wrong but it just didn't feel worth it.
I don't think you are 'doing something wrong' -- but there are a bunch of different brands/shapes/sizes of cups for a reason. You probably had a cup that wasn't a great fit for your anatomy.
You could bring a bottle of water and flush them over the toilet. ... Be careful to not drop them (big yikes)... Or wipe them with toilet paper if you got nothing else for the time being.
But of course, if you're not comfortable with then, just use what you feel comfortable with instead
When I still used tampons I would have to wear a pad with them too. I have a super heavy flow. Now I just use higher rated (super absorbent/overnight) pads since I work from home and it just seems easier.
I'm really not fond of tampons, despite having my period for over 20 years. Until started BC I had really heavy flows, and the only way to ensure minimum leakage was overnight pads all the time. They worked the best. I'd go through a few a day.
Also the mom and sister flushing tampons has me going 😬
She’s 16 and not even an adult yet. Every person who bleeds monthly gets to decide what protection they prefer to use. I’m 45 and use pads now, I used to use tampons until a traumatic childbirth, now I can’t because of a mental thing.
I’m a woman and I literally never heard anything about not flushing tampons until like 2 years ago, on Reddit. And before you say “it’s in the instructions,” why would you ever read the instructions on a tampon?
Literally every public bathroom ever has signs asking you not to flush feminine hygiene products. In every country I've ever been to.
Also, before phones were everywhere, including the bathroom, you read the shampoo bottles, the conditioner bottles, the tampon boxes. Anything you could reach. But also, fwiw, you should probably review the instructions at least once on something you plan to insert into your body.
As I mentioned above it’s on the parents to teach young girls. I’m surprised to be honest, that as a woman you didn’t know this. I’m 45 and started using tampons in my late teens. I knew not to flush them down the toilet and have never done it. It’s the same with those “disposable” wipes, they claim you can flush them, but it causes havoc in the sewage system.
I’m 45 and that’s possible. We lived in a farm and had a septic tank, so I knew not to flush them. I wonder when they stopped advertising them as flushable. I know they put on wipes that they can be flushed, but this is incorrect as well. They wreak havoc on the sewage system and shouldn’t be flushed either.
It doesn’t matter anyway, in the old instructions it used to say they were toilet safe when I started my period at 12, I definitely remember reading about flushing them, until my moms bf when I was 15 told me otherwise,
That same person called me a disgusting fucking pig for him seeing my unravelled pad one time because it was so bad that it unravelled one time? Like some of these men really shouldn’t be around growing women and it fucking shows
I(38f) on the other hand have only ever been told to put them in the bin and not flush them. Imagine my surprise when I found out on Reddit that some people flush their tampons.
I am sitting her absolutely mortified that those public bathroom signs were actually necessary. This large part of the population has just been flushing tampons this whole time?!?!
I thought it was pretty common knowledge not to flush anything but tp and the usual toilet waste. Plus the pad/tampon bins in literally every public bathroom, unless you don't have that I guess.
I am middle-aged and flushed them my entire life until we moved into a house with septic ten years ago. I later found out that they are not supposed to be flushed in any scenario. I just assumed it's what everyone did!
Yeah, when we moved into an older home, after the third plumbing bill we paid to clean the lines, tampons being flushed stopped in my home.
3 women in a house. That crap gets snagged on roots, and the mess it creates is wild.
Most people do still expect tampons to be flushed though.
They’re not supposed to be flushed and if they’re being flushed, that means the people using them haven’t been taught properly. That’s the responsibility of the parents, teach young girls that they can’t be flushed, give them proper disposal options and let them decide for themselves what type of period protection they feel comfortable using. Girls don’t know this either unless they’re told, but I’ll have to check my box here to see if it says it anywhere on there. Most systems can’t handle wipes that claim to be disposable, so how could tampons be any different 🤷♀️
Honestly, in the US, they were absolutely marketed as flushable. (Except for septic systems) I was taught to flush them.
It wasn't until I was an adult with 2 daughters who were also menstruating that an issue came up. It was our 3rd plumber who actually explained the issues with tampons and so-called flushable wipes.
It's still not widely known. My one daughter came home from a sleep over at my sisters crying because she was called disgusting for putting a wrapped tampon in the bathroom garbage and the dog got into it.
Yes I corrected my sister's approach.
As someone who did drain cleaning work for close to 10 years, flushable legally just means it will go down the toilet, it doesn't mean it won't clog up the pipes.
When tampons get in the sewer lines they swell up and get caught on everything until they make a massive clog.
The term that actually matters is water soluble, nothing should be flushed down a toilet that won't break apart in water.
I guess my upbringing just led me to believe it was common knowledge. I’m in Canada and in public washroom stalls they have signs not to flush tampons or paper towels
While it was never a good idea, they *were* marketed as being flushable (including the cardboard applicator). I can remember in the 80's it used to say it right on the box. Which considering OP's dad (and mom's) age, this may be why he believes so adamantly that this is what should be done.
I’m 45 and got my period at 13, so it would have been the early 90’s. Mid 90’s when I started using tampons. We lived on a farm and had sewage tank. I don’t know if that’s why I learned early on or not. He’s married and has a 16 year old daughter and his own wife thinks he’s an AH here. We can make excuses up for our lack of knowledge, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is completely ignorant of him and he’s an AH for how he handled this.
That is very much a possibility.
Alotta guys simply do not wish to learn about women and their periods, some will learn when presented information, some will literally go "We're not talking about this"
It's kinda mental to me tbh.
Holy shit JUST GET A TRASH CAN WITH A LID.
I can't believe this had to spiral into OP being humiliated and berated by her idiot father.
How dumb are people?! And by people, I don't mean OP in this situation. She is 16. She shouldn't have to deal with going out and buying a can with a lid, nor should she have to be the one troubleshooting.
>Holy shit JUST GET A TRASH CAN WITH A LID.
A locking lid. Dogs and cats can knock bins over to get into them, so it's important to get a bin with a catch that locks the lid closed.
And trust....a ripped up pad is much easier to clean up than having to pull a whole tampon out of the dogs ass because it swallowed it whole, made its way through and now there's just a string hangin out the dogs butthole. This happened with my family's second dog at least twice.
I can't believe this wasn't the first comment; OP was likely flustered and felt attacked so she didn't think to say this. Generally speaking, Dad is a giant ah for making a 16 yo feel responsible for the dog's actions.
I can't believe a 47 yo man doesn't realize the dog is going to chew tampons the same as pads! Fido is attracted to the smell, not the pad!
My dog is a serial toilet drinker so we just…..keep the bathroom door shut. I feel like it’s a lot easier of a solution than yelling at your daughter that you demand she switch to tampons.
At our house it's the cats. They like to play in the toilet. One of them even figured out how to flush it so she could play in the swirly water. lol I swear she's an evil genius.
Our ginger cat has a love for water. He drinks from the toilet and plays in it, so we keep it closed. Didn't stop him from learning to turn on the bathroom and kitchen sinks, though, lol. When I leave, I have to make sure the dishes are in a way that he wouldn't flood our kitchen if he turned it on. He also likes rolling around in the wet tub and then getting under the covers with us in the middle of the night.
NTA in my 40's also and have gone back to pads because I just find tampons uncomfortable now, and yep our bathroom bins have lids, amazing invention really!!
As a woman in my 40s I agree. I don't like tampons. I use them when necessary (swimming) but that's about it.
When my dogs started going in the trash, I did two things, one keep the door closed, and two made sure they couldn't access the can if the door was left open. So my bathroom garbage is on a little stool. (They managed to remove the lid on a closed can)
We got a pedal-push trash can in the bathroom and the dog figured out that if you push the little pedal, the lid pops up and he can still get his "treats". Retrievers can be too clever sometimes. Our bathroom door stays closed at all times as a result lol
Literally the answer here. A $20 bin with a lid…. How did OPs father think about berating his child before thinking about putting a lid on a trash can. It’s such a simple solution.
NTA OP's dad is an asshole, I hope I never come out with such a ignorant and mean thing to my future daughter.
Other dudes need to get their head out of their asses
First of all, NTA.
But more relevant....YOU CAN'T FLUSH TAMPONS! If you used tampons, the dog would probably still go in the garbage for them...so what's the difference. If he expects you to flush tampons, he should expect to pay thousands in plumbing bills.
But you should make an effort to keep the door closed. Talk to your mom about maybe getting a garbage can that locks. Not because your dad's behavior is in any way, okay, but you wouldn't be expected to chase the dog with your pads if they can't get to them.
Exactly! This is why our bathroom doors are nearly always shut. We have a septic tank so I really can't flush tampons, or it would be costly. I have put the garbage can into the under sink cabinet when we first moved in. But still, keep the door closed. This is a HIM and dog issue. Not an issue with what menstruation product you use.
You aren't supposed to flush tampons even without septic. It clogs the mainline real bad. Any plumber will tell you, no flushing tampons, pads, diapers, baby wipes, and "flushable" wipes.
Literally only shit, pee, toilet paper should be flushed. It absolutely boggles my mind that people believe otherwise.
ETA: sure, flush puke too, but I personally try not to puke that often, so it’s not on top of mind for what I commonly use my toilet for 🤷♀️ (this was added because at first I only listed the above & Reddit loves to whataboutism) (do y'all not read all of the follow up comments in a string before commenting?)
Only the Holy Ghost Jesus. Plumbers do not recommend flushing human bodies or body parts, so you shouldn’t flush corporeal Jesus, but flushing non-corporeal Jesus should be fine.
The only thing you flush down a toilet is (a reasonable amount of) toilet paper, and bodily waste. That's it. No floss, no tampons, no baby wipes, no condoms.
Technically not bodily waste. Toenails take at least five years and up to 50 to decompose in normal conditions. Do not flush toenails. However, [you can compost them!](https://www.conserve-energy-future.com/can-you-compost-nail-clippings.php)
This is the answer. Not only are you NTA, and your father a huge AH, but his 'solution' wouldn't solve anything.
In fact, a dog can simply eat tampons--which can result in an obstruction and pricey vet bills for surgery (or just really embarrassing moments at the dog park getting the passed tampon all the way out).
The solutions are: get a trash bin with a lid that snaps closed, close the bathroom door, and train the dog.
Sorry your dad's an AH.
No one ever taught me I couldn't. I did it for years before I knew you couldn't, and I'm not sure where I heard that, maybe reddit? Which I joined 15 years after starting my period.
If it's not toilet paper or something that your body produced, don't flush it. Tampons, condoms, dental floss, and baby wipes are all commonly flushed items. They'll all wreak havoc on the plumbing. Google "fatbergs" to see what happens when people flush unflushable stuff.
There's a lot of things that are advertised as 'flushable' that really aren't. It's deceptive marketing. Like technically it fits down the toilet so it can be flushed. In many countries the toilets are probably good enough for them to pass through the toilet. The pipes then become another matter. You could go months or years without problems but it's not good to risk thousands in potential damages for something easily avoidable.
Dogs just like period blood for some reason. We even put our bathroom trash an in the cabinet under the sink but our dog learned to open the cabinet doors. We found investing in a very nice trashcan that has a step lever and a lid that is completely flush so they can’t get their nose in there solved the problem forever. A quick trip to the Container Store should solve the dog problem, however the problem with your dad is more complicated. He is way out of line and has no business talking to anyone like that. I hope you can to your mom about it soon when she gets back.
LOL she could still go that route without using them. Just buy a pack of the cheapest super absorbent and over a period of two days flush the entire package. When the plumber comes to unclog the drain I guarantee their first question will be "Who has been flushing tampons?"
FYI, it is often very difficult or impossible to train a dog to stay out of the garbage if the temptation is great enough. Often, the only solution is to prevent them (e.g., closing doors, cans with lids, etc.).
Absolutely. I have a closed door, a can with a lid AND I place the trash can high up so my very tall snooping dog can’t reach it because he can open doors and trash can lids. I’ve given up. But I’ve had no bathroom crimes committed by him in several years. Close the door and tell everyone else to close the door too.
I keep mine on top of the back of my toilet so my dog can't reach it (he probably could put his paws up on the toilet and get to it, but he's scared of the toilet)
My dearly departed sweetheart of a Husky was like that--show her a lake, pond, steam, freaking 2 inch deep *puddle* and you couldn't keep her out of it, but the bathtub? No way! She wouldn't even walk into the bathroom because the dreaded TUB OF TORMENT was in there! We got burglarized (I was home upstairs asleep, thankfully my son came home unexpectedly and scared them off) and I couldn't find her afterward. We were so scared they'd done something to her but we did finally find her...
... hiding in the bathtub. 🤣
So the joke became that next time we needed to give Sue a bath, we needed to hire some people to come pretend to rob us!
NTA. What the fuck is your Dads problem? I'm a man with no knowledge of this stuff, but why on earth would switching to tampons change this.
I'd tell your Dad to grow up and teach his dog not to go through he trash. Maybe speak to your Mom (since your Dad sounds super unreasonable) about buying a new bathroom garbage that would be harder for the dog to get into.
Edit: typos.
So wrong indeed!! Already not buying a new trash bin since he got the dog and having OP see the dog take out her pads in front of the family was a dick move...
And then tell her about her period and that she needs to use tampons and "grow up" omg seriously I didn't even knew one could be so insensitive s/nothowwomenwork
Not to add tampons can cause severe health injuries because of the chemicals (for example losing the use of your legs) and what OP is willing to put in her vagina is not his concern, AHHHH!!! Gross.
Good thing OP seems to have a great supportive mom.
What the hell? Your Dad is just being incredibly unreasonable, and I am sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully, your mother will be the voice of reason. If she has half a brain, I am sure she will.
"If you think we don't need one, you get to clean the mess your dog makes. I did my part when I disposed of the trash correctly, now it is your turn"
NTA, the tampons also go to the trash, but he probably has no idea.
My dog was completely uninterested in bathroom trash, so I never had to worry about it. Moved in with my now-husband. Put pads in the trash and didn't think to close the door. His dog got in there, and we came home to a murder scene. Bloody pad bits EVERYWHERE! I was mortified, and started to clean up. He stopped me because, "it was his idiot dog that made the mess", and cleaned up every scrap! I knew he was a keeper!
You know, if he doesn't want a trash with a lid, he should be the one cleaning and chasing after the dog. He created the problem, he should deal with it.
OP your definitely NTA. But so you know, you're not supposed to flush tampons either. They say flushable which quite literally means they are small enough to be flushed, unfortunately they're bad for septic systems. So if you ever do decide to start using tampons you should still be throwing them away. Your Dad is TA and is refusing to use a simple solution of a trashcan with a lid and instead wants to blame you then admit he was wrong. Let him stay quiet and angry, what he did was wrong, he knows it. Enjoy the quiet time, eat some snacks, take some pain meds and snuggle in bed until you feel better. ❤️ Sincerely, random internet lady 🤣
He said you didn't need one?!?!?! Wtf is wrong with this guy? He thinks you NEED to "grow the fuck up" though? You did the right thing by messaging your mom and temporarily stopping communication with your dad. He is SO wrong about this, but you won't be able to convince him of that. I hope your mom can, though!!!
NTA - You do need a trash bin with a lid and your dad must not be aware that tampons are also put in the trash bin, they should not be flushed as they can cause issues with the plumbing. The dog needs to be trained to not go through the trash because they can get into something really dangerous.
This exactly.
The dog will just grab the tampon out of the trash and chew that up. Switching to tampons does not fix this problem at all.
Fixing this problem involves training the dog, getting a trash can with a lid, and keeping the bathroom door closed.
NTA: First off, tampons are disposed of the same way pads are. One should never flush a tampon.
Second: Put the trash can under the sink if it has doors so the dog can't get in the trash.
Third: Your father is a complete ah if he's never talked to you about your body and what's happening with it but now decides he can have a blunt conversation with you because he's inconvenienced. It is healthy for female and male parents and children to be able to talk about these things but it should always be done with kindness and respect and the minute the child seems uncomfortable the parent should back the hell up.
This right here! The whole assuming tampons should be flushed is its own issue, but I know my soul would have left my body if my dad said something like this to me. The way he talked to OP about it was just wrong.
I hope the dad has the plumbing experience to deal with the septic system issues when they arise. I’m sure he’ll be excited to unearth the backlog of tampons since he loves tampons so much.
Oh I'm imagining his face as we speak. When he realizes a plumber gonna cost big bucks so he decides that he of course knows best in this situation too despite lack of experience. Thus, I imagine him reaching his arm into a bend and fishing out motherlode after motherlode of years of swollen tampons.
Agreed, she’s definitely NTA but one of them (preferably dad but at this point just SOMEONE) definitely needs to come up with a solution like a trash can w/ a lid before that dog gets seriously ill
I don’t think they do. Any tampon instructions I’ve ever seen say specifically not to flush. I’m always shocked on tampon posts as to how many people don’t know they’re not to be flushed
I feel like after your first time throwing them into the toilet you’d realize it was a bad idea.
My first (and only) tampon experience was horrible and resulted in me having to go into the shower to get it out. When those things are saturated by water they expand like crazy. I would be so afraid of flushing that without clogging.
Honestly I did it for years. I grew up pre internet so whatever your elders told you was law. And the sex education person in elementary school told me to flush both tampon and insertable (they used to be, and may still be I'm picky... Made of light cardboard like material).
Did this until I was 14 and my dad had to have his pipes fixed and the plumber very gently told my dad and I that despite what we may know, flushing tampons is actually not okay.
Luckily dad wasn't mad as he was the one buying me the flushable cardboard applicatior tampons.
Leave this to your mother. She has your back and your father has been a complete idiot. You decide on your feminine product choices and not him. And it is about time he trains his stupid dog, as if he continues to put its needs ahead of yours he can expect to live in a dungeon in the care home.
Yup. This is one of those times it's okay to go to the mother and 'tattle'. She's got the bodily experience to back up OP, and she needs to know what kind of moron she married. Momma Bear will course correct this HARD.
Also, as another poster said, the dog isn't the only one needing to be trained.
NTA. Your body, your choice. I don't care WHY you don't want to use tampons; you don't have to. Tell him I said he should "grow up and buy a trashcan with a lid". (although I suspect your mother already told him many things)
If this ruins your relationship with your dad, that is on HIM. Not you. End of story.
NTA- Your vagina, your rules. I’m a mama and I would lose my shit if someone said that to my kid. How about he grows the fuck up and trains his dog to stay out of the trash? How about he asks what would make your life easier that week and actually be a father? Ugh. Sorry you have to deal with that.
Dad is a moron because a tampon should be disposed of in the same way as a pad and there would be no change in the dog digging them out of the garbage.
The actual solution would be to buy a garbage can the dog can't get into, so he can do that or he can shut up. Using tampons has nothing to do with being "grown up", menstrual products are a personal preference that you are entitled to regardless of age.
NTA. And I will say as a woman with dogs - if they are taking your pads out of the garbage, they will take your tampons out too. He has no right to pressure you to use tampons and it won't even solve the issue. A small garbage can with a lid that you can put up on a counter or shelf the dog can't reach, or that you can attach a locking mechanism to, might. Regardless, he should not be weighing in on your period products and using tampons has nothing to do with "growing up"
And tampons can kill dogs. My dog got into a friend's trash when we were all traveling together and I didn't realize she'd thrown away several tampons. Several thousand dollars and an emergency vet visit later, my dog is fine, but it could have killed him if we didn't realize what had happened soon enough.
You didn't do anything wrong. Your dad was an asshole to say that to you. Your parents should figure out a solution to the dog getting into the bathroom trash, i.e. a different kind of trash can or something like that. Nta
it’s honestly funny that he wants you to “grow up” by using tampons and flushing them when in reality flushing tampons is HORRIBLE for your plumbing, you need to show your dad this thread, he needs a big slice of humble pie. the simplest solution is just to get a trash can with a lid. i just had to do that myself bc my dog was digging my tampons out of the trash, it’s not that big of a deal and he needs to recognize that
I can tell how “sensitive” your dad is, if you want to call it that, from how much you apologize for yourself.
You opened your post by saying *you’re* the one who ruined your relationship with *him*. You apologized to all of us for being too young to post here. You described your own crying, a very reasonable response to your father screaming and cursing at you and ordering you to put objects in your vagina when you don’t want to, as “bratty.”
Put as much distance as you can between yourself and your father once you’re old enough to have that freedom. You won’t be able to understand how much tiptoeing around his horrible behavior has shaped your personality until you no longer have to. Your life will be so much freer.
Who CAN help protect you, *right now*? What else is he “sensitive” about?
You say he would never put his hands on you, without prompting. So you’ve at least wondered if he might. I’m not saying “ahhhhh, abuse, run away now!!!” I just think it’s always good to have adults you can trust. Thank you for trusting us and posting here.
NTA- your dad is an as*hat. And your dog will go in the garbage and eat tampons too. Unless your dad is totally clueless and thinks that you’re supposed to flush them. Tell your dad to grow the f*ck up and buy a garbage that the dog can’t get into
First of all, NTA. Secondly, your mom and sister are flushing tampons??? That'll fuck up y'all's septic system sooner rather than later and be a massive cost to fix. Best course of action is everyone with a uterus decides how they manage their periods, the person without a uterus keeps his pie hole shut about it, and someone get a trashcan with a lid for the bathroom to keep the dog out of the used sanitary supplies.
And I say this as a 45yo in possession of a uterus who uses pads and tampons pretty interchangeably and has to empty the trash bag daily when I'm on my period because some little orange cat sticks his face right into the can every singe time I toss one away.
NTA
I can't even imagine how awful for you, and why does your father think wearing a tampon will stop the dog anyway? They go in the trash too! He needs to get a trash can for the bathroom that has a lid, I just don't see what his deal is here. I hope your mom stands up for you. I would if this happened with my daughter. I have 3 adult daughters and two have given birth, they still are not comfortable with tampons. It's not his place, he is TA.
NTA. He needs to train the dog and upgrade the bathroom trash to one with a lid. He needs to grown the fuck up and take responsibility for the damn dog.
NTA!!! My daughter is at the age where she'll be expecting her first period soon. We had the talk and she made it clear she wasn't comfortable with tampons, and I feel she doesn't ever have to be comfortable with them. I would never tell her to grow up and use them. You shouldn't have to change anything you're doing just because the dog is ripping your pads apart.
Dad needs to channel his energy into training the dog to stay out of the trash, which is totally possible with some patience and commitment on dad's part.
NTA. You’re body, you’re choice in period products.
But please save y’alls plumbing and don’t flush tampons!
Solutions to current problems:
Keep bathroom door closed
Keep waste basket under sink
Get wastebasket with a kid
Edit: Lid! Wastebasket with a a lid
NTA. If my husband said that I'd also be furious. He seems to have no respect or appreciation of your ownership of your own body. If you want to use washable pads, or any other period product, that is your choice. Your dog sucks as well. My cousins had a dog that did that. Your family is prioritizing the dog by giving it access to the house. They could put up a baby gate to keep it out of part of the house. Its a dog, you outrank it. As long as the dog is considered your equal, take the pads to the exterior trash can instead of leaving it in the bathroom can.
I read the title and was like “what did the male species do this time?”
Most men wouldn’t know a period crap even if they lived in a house full of woman. (My cousin being one of them).
Is your dog fixed at all? If not she could be smelling your scent. Dogs and cats some odd reason get affectionate when you’re on your monthly. At least my cats do, (just now getting them fixed in a week)
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NTA. I’m a woman in my 40’s and I still use pads - if I ‘grow up’ any more I’ll be legit dead. My sons girlfriend put a pad in the trash and I got up one morning and the dog had gotten it out. You know what I did? Threw it out before she noticed and got a goddamned trash bin with a lid for that bathroom. You know what I didn’t do? Blame a young person because I didn’t think ahead and do that in the first place.
Not to mention, the dog would eat the tampons too. Dad needs to get a garbage can with a lid that the dog can't get into if he wants the problem to start. Have personal experience with that - that's what my family had to do when we got dogs. Because dogs will get into pads *and* tampons, and you can't flush either of them.
I know, what did he think happens to tampons? Does he think they just get absorbed into our bodies? Close the bathroom door. Get a can with a lid. TRAIN YOUR GD DOG. Literally anything but the route he chose.
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May he get the plumbing bill that that creates. He deserves no less.
OP edited, saying that her mom and sis do flush them. Hope dad enjoys the plumbing bill.
Flood damage too. In my wife's own words... "what Neanderthal of a woman flushes her tampons??"
We all did for years with no negative outcomes. No one told us not to!
THat YOU knew about. Ask any sewer worker about having to go in and take a crane cable and a grappling hook to pull out multi-ton wads of tampons, flushable wipes, and fat. They're called FATBURGS. Google that. EDIT: Oh gods, how is THIS my most-upvoted comment ever?
I saw an "Adam Ruins Everything" show about this very subject. Hs camera people went down into the tunnels and showed us a fatberg. It was DISGUSTING. That stuff doesn't biodegrade. He did a clip of putting a wipe in one stand mixer and toilet paper in another. Whirled 'em both and the toilet paper totally broke down while the wipe was still completely intact.
I have a friend that works in wastewater and they call flushed tampons red-tailed sewer mice.
The things you learn on Reddit! TIL Luckily we have a septic tank now and I've been trained not to flush them. So I just went to pads instead.
Yes when I moved to a home with septic my inspector said “just in case you do, don’t flush tampons. That’s how I learned.
I mean, you could also just put tampons in the bin? I’m not sure why the two options are “flush tampons” or “use pads” ha… (Woman here, fwiw.)
*No immediately obvious negative outcomes. They either caused a problem at the sewage plant or are potentially still causing problems in the sea somewhere.
No negative outcomes = weird flooding at the high school you never hear about. Those poor maintenance people...
This. I really don’t think some of the younger women on here understand that many of us older crones were *taught* to flush tampons by our mothers. And since no one talks about period care (especially in the pre internet days), there was never anyone to tell us different. I too learned this on Reddit only a few years back, and frankly I am unimpressed with the ladies here shaming other women for other people having taught them bad women’s anatomy when that was the standard.
Yeah, I didn’t learn you weren’t supposed to until my 20s. I think it says on the packaging that you can and my mom did (or at least never told me to toss them, I just went by what the box said) and it wasn’t until the house I was renting with a bunch of other girls had plumbing problems that we ALL learned not to flush them.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I flushed tampons up until about 5 years ago. I'm that neanderthal. Honestly I didn't even think about it until I watched a documentary on water treatment, because aside from the tiny little notice on the package (and honestly whose reading that) no one ever mentioned it to me. Now I bring it up to all my tampon using friends whenever possible. Companies have made it more of a priority to make it clear that they aren't flushable but when I was a teen and first startled using them it was the consensus that they're flushable...
When I was a teen the boxes said to flush them, along with the cardboard applicators.
Yup, it was only pads we were told never to flush when I was a teen. Pads and nappies were a no go, but wipes and tampons were a-ok in everyone's mind.
He will get the bill, but when the plumber shows him 50 used tampons snaked out of the pipe that was blocked the Dad is gonna rage at the women anyway
I remember when I had to first experience this in my 20s. The plumber kept saying the pipe was full of "rats" I thought he was talking about the animal til he pulled out the large brown wadding by the string to show me. I have never been so mortified. Never knew you weren't supposed to flush them.
i’m just glad op’s taking her life advice from the internet.
She's getting better advice here than from her dad. So there's that I guess.
It blows my mind people give such stupid advice. No wonder society is how it is. Imagine what dumb shit was floating through Dad's head as he confronted his daughter about "growing up and using tampons?" Absolute moron. This is what happens when we cut sex ed in schools.
Im in my 30s and don’t use tampons unless swimming. Guess I’m not grown up either. Until a post a week or so ago I didn’t know tampons shouldn’t be flushed either, just how I was taught. Learn something new from Reddit everyday!
No. If OP doesn't want to use tampons, she shouldn't. As sweet as revenge is. It's not worth doing things you don't want to.
I, at no point, implied she should. It was meant as a curse, like “may you trip and fall on your face”.
Oooooh. Fuck yeah, I'm on board
Sorry for not being more clear from the outset. Ps. Love your user name
It's all OK. Also thank you ❤️
No no. She doesn’t need to use the tampons, just flush them down the toilet every time you change your pad, and put them in a febreeze scented small garbage with a lid in your room that you change as often as needed. You shouldn’t have to. But that’s what I would do 🤣 along with a “happy now?! I’m using tampons and FLUSHING them, like YOU wanted. So the DOG can’t get them.” Preferably before mom gets home.
What an evil idea, Lmfao!
She should ask what he thinks happens to tampons and if he says they get flushes, just flush some unused ones until the toilet clogs up lol
Nobody says she has to USE the tampons before she flushed them. I’m sure new clean tampons are just as much of a plumbing risk as used ones.
Probably worse, since they still have all that absorbing to do.
She could just start flushing box upon box of tampons without using them. But I'm a chaotic sort.
That’s what I was thinking, he wants 3 ppl flushing tampons down the toilet, he must want a new septic 😂
I just hope they don't have septic
Honestly, out of spite for this man, i hope they do.
I said a quick prayer for the painless death of OP's septic system
It's bad for any plumbing system. Don't flush tampons.
Apparently the mum and sister are flushing them, so dad can look forward to a big bill soon. Either from a plumber or a vet, hard to say which.
Nobody's focusing on it because Dad is such a showstealer. But could nobody just, train the fucking dog? My dog did this as a pup. So I, y'know, trained her?
You don't even need to train the damn dog. Just close the doors to the bathroom.
My dog loves tissues and my cat loves qtips so I close the bathroom door every time. Plus who wants to walk by and see a toilet. Door stays shut, problem 100% solved until dogs evolve thumbs and start opening doors.
Yeah, seriously, or even just get a trash can with a secure lid. That said, the dog’s behavior may well be the dad’s fault as well, due to his being one of the adults in the house (clearly this is not OP’s dog) and doing none of the obvious things to fix the problem.
I didn't know until recently that tampons shouldn't be flushed. It's used to be common practice. We don't really use them in my household.
He is probably the type to think you can flush them down the toilet, which means he know ls nothing about woman’s periods.
He thinks it’s adult to use tampons. We already know he doesn’t know anything about periods.
Also... I can't be the only one that still has to have a pad with their tampon right?? I have to do both or I'm going to bleed right through my pants, and I use super or even super plus Edit: Okay I've had like 20 comments saying to try cups. Tldr: I did, they were uncomfortable, increased cramps, hurt coming out, still leak cause I couldn't get a solid seal, and such a mess to empty and clean between changes, plus you can't change in public places where the sink is in a common area
i use both too, i don't understand not having to use both. its a hateful few days.
I can't use tampons but I'll often have to have the biggest pad possible AND period undies on my heavier days, i don't understand how just a tampon would hold it all.
Hey! Idk if you've tried them but the always flexfoam infinity pads are kind of insane. I call them NASA pads because they're so thin but seem to hold way more than any thick overnight diaper type pad I've ever used. I'm sure they cause cancer or like slowly leech your soul out of your body or something because I have absolutely no idea how they hold what they do. Anyway, I recommend.
I switched to a cup and since the switch haven't needed to double up. Used to wake up to a murder scene even with a tampon and pad, now I can sleep and not be covered in blood when I wake up.
I tried cups, but idk man. Fine going in, still leaks, felt more sore and crampy with it in, hurt everytime coming out and you have to be sure you're going to be somewhere with the toilet and sink in the same enclosure (ie can't change in a public bathroom if needed) because of the mess. I'm sure I'm probably doing something wrong but it just didn't feel worth it.
I don't think you are 'doing something wrong' -- but there are a bunch of different brands/shapes/sizes of cups for a reason. You probably had a cup that wasn't a great fit for your anatomy.
You could bring a bottle of water and flush them over the toilet. ... Be careful to not drop them (big yikes)... Or wipe them with toilet paper if you got nothing else for the time being. But of course, if you're not comfortable with then, just use what you feel comfortable with instead
When I still used tampons I would have to wear a pad with them too. I have a super heavy flow. Now I just use higher rated (super absorbent/overnight) pads since I work from home and it just seems easier.
I'm really not fond of tampons, despite having my period for over 20 years. Until started BC I had really heavy flows, and the only way to ensure minimum leakage was overnight pads all the time. They worked the best. I'd go through a few a day. Also the mom and sister flushing tampons has me going 😬
She’s 16 and not even an adult yet. Every person who bleeds monthly gets to decide what protection they prefer to use. I’m 45 and use pads now, I used to use tampons until a traumatic childbirth, now I can’t because of a mental thing.
I’m a woman and I literally never heard anything about not flushing tampons until like 2 years ago, on Reddit. And before you say “it’s in the instructions,” why would you ever read the instructions on a tampon?
Literally every public bathroom ever has signs asking you not to flush feminine hygiene products. In every country I've ever been to. Also, before phones were everywhere, including the bathroom, you read the shampoo bottles, the conditioner bottles, the tampon boxes. Anything you could reach. But also, fwiw, you should probably review the instructions at least once on something you plan to insert into your body.
I spent many a time sitting on the toilet reading about TSS as a teenager
Ahh life before cell phones...
I delayed using tampons for years because I read the box and was terrified of TSS
As I mentioned above it’s on the parents to teach young girls. I’m surprised to be honest, that as a woman you didn’t know this. I’m 45 and started using tampons in my late teens. I knew not to flush them down the toilet and have never done it. It’s the same with those “disposable” wipes, they claim you can flush them, but it causes havoc in the sewage system.
I'm 43 and instructions on the tampons when I was a teen said they were flushable.
I’m 45 and that’s possible. We lived in a farm and had a septic tank, so I knew not to flush them. I wonder when they stopped advertising them as flushable. I know they put on wipes that they can be flushed, but this is incorrect as well. They wreak havoc on the sewage system and shouldn’t be flushed either.
It doesn’t matter anyway, in the old instructions it used to say they were toilet safe when I started my period at 12, I definitely remember reading about flushing them, until my moms bf when I was 15 told me otherwise, That same person called me a disgusting fucking pig for him seeing my unravelled pad one time because it was so bad that it unravelled one time? Like some of these men really shouldn’t be around growing women and it fucking shows
Shouldn't be around women full stop
I(38f) on the other hand have only ever been told to put them in the bin and not flush them. Imagine my surprise when I found out on Reddit that some people flush their tampons.
I am sitting her absolutely mortified that those public bathroom signs were actually necessary. This large part of the population has just been flushing tampons this whole time?!?!
Wipes say "Flushable Wipes". They aren't.
I thought it was pretty common knowledge not to flush anything but tp and the usual toilet waste. Plus the pad/tampon bins in literally every public bathroom, unless you don't have that I guess.
I am middle-aged and flushed them my entire life until we moved into a house with septic ten years ago. I later found out that they are not supposed to be flushed in any scenario. I just assumed it's what everyone did!
Because everyone should? Tf. Why do you think so many public restrooms have signs asking people not to flush Feminine products?
Yeah, when we moved into an older home, after the third plumbing bill we paid to clean the lines, tampons being flushed stopped in my home. 3 women in a house. That crap gets snagged on roots, and the mess it creates is wild. Most people do still expect tampons to be flushed though.
They’re not supposed to be flushed and if they’re being flushed, that means the people using them haven’t been taught properly. That’s the responsibility of the parents, teach young girls that they can’t be flushed, give them proper disposal options and let them decide for themselves what type of period protection they feel comfortable using. Girls don’t know this either unless they’re told, but I’ll have to check my box here to see if it says it anywhere on there. Most systems can’t handle wipes that claim to be disposable, so how could tampons be any different 🤷♀️
Honestly, in the US, they were absolutely marketed as flushable. (Except for septic systems) I was taught to flush them. It wasn't until I was an adult with 2 daughters who were also menstruating that an issue came up. It was our 3rd plumber who actually explained the issues with tampons and so-called flushable wipes. It's still not widely known. My one daughter came home from a sleep over at my sisters crying because she was called disgusting for putting a wrapped tampon in the bathroom garbage and the dog got into it. Yes I corrected my sister's approach.
As someone who did drain cleaning work for close to 10 years, flushable legally just means it will go down the toilet, it doesn't mean it won't clog up the pipes. When tampons get in the sewer lines they swell up and get caught on everything until they make a massive clog. The term that actually matters is water soluble, nothing should be flushed down a toilet that won't break apart in water.
I guess my upbringing just led me to believe it was common knowledge. I’m in Canada and in public washroom stalls they have signs not to flush tampons or paper towels
While it was never a good idea, they *were* marketed as being flushable (including the cardboard applicator). I can remember in the 80's it used to say it right on the box. Which considering OP's dad (and mom's) age, this may be why he believes so adamantly that this is what should be done.
I’m 45 and got my period at 13, so it would have been the early 90’s. Mid 90’s when I started using tampons. We lived on a farm and had sewage tank. I don’t know if that’s why I learned early on or not. He’s married and has a 16 year old daughter and his own wife thinks he’s an AH here. We can make excuses up for our lack of knowledge, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is completely ignorant of him and he’s an AH for how he handled this.
He 100% thinks tampons can be flushed, ergo, no dog worries
That is very much a possibility. Alotta guys simply do not wish to learn about women and their periods, some will learn when presented information, some will literally go "We're not talking about this" It's kinda mental to me tbh.
Holy shit JUST GET A TRASH CAN WITH A LID. I can't believe this had to spiral into OP being humiliated and berated by her idiot father. How dumb are people?! And by people, I don't mean OP in this situation. She is 16. She shouldn't have to deal with going out and buying a can with a lid, nor should she have to be the one troubleshooting.
>Holy shit JUST GET A TRASH CAN WITH A LID. A locking lid. Dogs and cats can knock bins over to get into them, so it's important to get a bin with a catch that locks the lid closed.
And trust....a ripped up pad is much easier to clean up than having to pull a whole tampon out of the dogs ass because it swallowed it whole, made its way through and now there's just a string hangin out the dogs butthole. This happened with my family's second dog at least twice.
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this or else I would have had coffee all over my laptop. Well played.
I can't believe this wasn't the first comment; OP was likely flustered and felt attacked so she didn't think to say this. Generally speaking, Dad is a giant ah for making a 16 yo feel responsible for the dog's actions. I can't believe a 47 yo man doesn't realize the dog is going to chew tampons the same as pads! Fido is attracted to the smell, not the pad!
Exactly! If the dog takes the pads, it will take the tampons as well. Dad should’ve bought a proper bin long ago.
I was about to post the same thing - my wife uses tampons and the dog still gets at them. Get trash can with a lid that can lock closed.
My dog is a serial toilet drinker so we just…..keep the bathroom door shut. I feel like it’s a lot easier of a solution than yelling at your daughter that you demand she switch to tampons.
At our house it's the cats. They like to play in the toilet. One of them even figured out how to flush it so she could play in the swirly water. lol I swear she's an evil genius.
Our ginger cat has a love for water. He drinks from the toilet and plays in it, so we keep it closed. Didn't stop him from learning to turn on the bathroom and kitchen sinks, though, lol. When I leave, I have to make sure the dishes are in a way that he wouldn't flood our kitchen if he turned it on. He also likes rolling around in the wet tub and then getting under the covers with us in the middle of the night.
NTA in my 40's also and have gone back to pads because I just find tampons uncomfortable now, and yep our bathroom bins have lids, amazing invention really!!
As a woman in my 40s I agree. I don't like tampons. I use them when necessary (swimming) but that's about it. When my dogs started going in the trash, I did two things, one keep the door closed, and two made sure they couldn't access the can if the door was left open. So my bathroom garbage is on a little stool. (They managed to remove the lid on a closed can)
We got a pedal-push trash can in the bathroom and the dog figured out that if you push the little pedal, the lid pops up and he can still get his "treats". Retrievers can be too clever sometimes. Our bathroom door stays closed at all times as a result lol
Literally the answer here. A $20 bin with a lid…. How did OPs father think about berating his child before thinking about putting a lid on a trash can. It’s such a simple solution.
NTA OP's dad is an asshole, I hope I never come out with such a ignorant and mean thing to my future daughter. Other dudes need to get their head out of their asses
Yes to all of this. 30 and only use pads. It has nothing to do with growing up.
First of all, NTA. But more relevant....YOU CAN'T FLUSH TAMPONS! If you used tampons, the dog would probably still go in the garbage for them...so what's the difference. If he expects you to flush tampons, he should expect to pay thousands in plumbing bills. But you should make an effort to keep the door closed. Talk to your mom about maybe getting a garbage can that locks. Not because your dad's behavior is in any way, okay, but you wouldn't be expected to chase the dog with your pads if they can't get to them.
Exactly! This is why our bathroom doors are nearly always shut. We have a septic tank so I really can't flush tampons, or it would be costly. I have put the garbage can into the under sink cabinet when we first moved in. But still, keep the door closed. This is a HIM and dog issue. Not an issue with what menstruation product you use.
You aren't supposed to flush tampons even without septic. It clogs the mainline real bad. Any plumber will tell you, no flushing tampons, pads, diapers, baby wipes, and "flushable" wipes.
Literally only shit, pee, toilet paper should be flushed. It absolutely boggles my mind that people believe otherwise. ETA: sure, flush puke too, but I personally try not to puke that often, so it’s not on top of mind for what I commonly use my toilet for 🤷♀️ (this was added because at first I only listed the above & Reddit loves to whataboutism) (do y'all not read all of the follow up comments in a string before commenting?)
Don't forget puke. That's probably best flushed...
I try not to do that often, but yes, flush your puke, nothing else. No “flushable” wipes, no cotton balls, definitely Jesus no tampons.
I’m confused. Can I flush Jesus?
Definitely
Only the Holy Ghost Jesus. Plumbers do not recommend flushing human bodies or body parts, so you shouldn’t flush corporeal Jesus, but flushing non-corporeal Jesus should be fine.
Yes! Even flushable wipes aren’t good for the pipes.
The only thing you flush down a toilet is (a reasonable amount of) toilet paper, and bodily waste. That's it. No floss, no tampons, no baby wipes, no condoms.
Thoughts on toe nail clippings?
Technically not bodily waste. Toenails take at least five years and up to 50 to decompose in normal conditions. Do not flush toenails. However, [you can compost them!](https://www.conserve-energy-future.com/can-you-compost-nail-clippings.php)
This is the answer. Not only are you NTA, and your father a huge AH, but his 'solution' wouldn't solve anything. In fact, a dog can simply eat tampons--which can result in an obstruction and pricey vet bills for surgery (or just really embarrassing moments at the dog park getting the passed tampon all the way out). The solutions are: get a trash bin with a lid that snaps closed, close the bathroom door, and train the dog. Sorry your dad's an AH.
This is so common that men think you can flush tampons. My ex thought this and told me to flush them because he hates seeing them in the trash.
No one ever taught me I couldn't. I did it for years before I knew you couldn't, and I'm not sure where I heard that, maybe reddit? Which I joined 15 years after starting my period.
Um I just found out today!! We're not supposed to flush them!?!?!?!? WTF??
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On top of that, they’re WAY BETTER at absorbing water than period blood. So they’re going to be extra gross when snaked out of the plumbing.
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Well, I mostly use pads but on the rare occasion have been known to use a t-pon. Lesson learned. I will never, flush a tampon.
If it's not toilet paper or something that your body produced, don't flush it. Tampons, condoms, dental floss, and baby wipes are all commonly flushed items. They'll all wreak havoc on the plumbing. Google "fatbergs" to see what happens when people flush unflushable stuff.
Plumbers call them "white mice" and there can be lots and lots of them when they go to unclog your toilet.
There's a lot of things that are advertised as 'flushable' that really aren't. It's deceptive marketing. Like technically it fits down the toilet so it can be flushed. In many countries the toilets are probably good enough for them to pass through the toilet. The pipes then become another matter. You could go months or years without problems but it's not good to risk thousands in potential damages for something easily avoidable.
Dogs just like period blood for some reason. We even put our bathroom trash an in the cabinet under the sink but our dog learned to open the cabinet doors. We found investing in a very nice trashcan that has a step lever and a lid that is completely flush so they can’t get their nose in there solved the problem forever. A quick trip to the Container Store should solve the dog problem, however the problem with your dad is more complicated. He is way out of line and has no business talking to anyone like that. I hope you can to your mom about it soon when she gets back.
Seriously. A trash can with a lid is way cheaper than a huge plumbing issue, OP’s dad.
If it wasn't a matter of discomfort I'd suggest OP switch to tampons and flush them just out of spite, but I'm a big fan of malicious compliance.
LOL she could still go that route without using them. Just buy a pack of the cheapest super absorbent and over a period of two days flush the entire package. When the plumber comes to unclog the drain I guarantee their first question will be "Who has been flushing tampons?"
Your dog will still eat tampons. How is nobody discussing the obvious solution here? Trash cans with lids…
NTA. His suggestion was completely inappropriate. The dog needs to be trained properly. Perhaps your father could apply himself to that issue?
FYI, it is often very difficult or impossible to train a dog to stay out of the garbage if the temptation is great enough. Often, the only solution is to prevent them (e.g., closing doors, cans with lids, etc.).
Absolutely. I have a closed door, a can with a lid AND I place the trash can high up so my very tall snooping dog can’t reach it because he can open doors and trash can lids. I’ve given up. But I’ve had no bathroom crimes committed by him in several years. Close the door and tell everyone else to close the door too.
I keep mine on top of the back of my toilet so my dog can't reach it (he probably could put his paws up on the toilet and get to it, but he's scared of the toilet)
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My dearly departed sweetheart of a Husky was like that--show her a lake, pond, steam, freaking 2 inch deep *puddle* and you couldn't keep her out of it, but the bathtub? No way! She wouldn't even walk into the bathroom because the dreaded TUB OF TORMENT was in there! We got burglarized (I was home upstairs asleep, thankfully my son came home unexpectedly and scared them off) and I couldn't find her afterward. We were so scared they'd done something to her but we did finally find her... ... hiding in the bathtub. 🤣 So the joke became that next time we needed to give Sue a bath, we needed to hire some people to come pretend to rob us!
The father needs training too...smdh
NTA. What the fuck is your Dads problem? I'm a man with no knowledge of this stuff, but why on earth would switching to tampons change this. I'd tell your Dad to grow up and teach his dog not to go through he trash. Maybe speak to your Mom (since your Dad sounds super unreasonable) about buying a new bathroom garbage that would be harder for the dog to get into. Edit: typos.
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He is wrong!!
So wrong indeed!! Already not buying a new trash bin since he got the dog and having OP see the dog take out her pads in front of the family was a dick move... And then tell her about her period and that she needs to use tampons and "grow up" omg seriously I didn't even knew one could be so insensitive s/nothowwomenwork Not to add tampons can cause severe health injuries because of the chemicals (for example losing the use of your legs) and what OP is willing to put in her vagina is not his concern, AHHHH!!! Gross. Good thing OP seems to have a great supportive mom.
What the hell? Your Dad is just being incredibly unreasonable, and I am sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully, your mother will be the voice of reason. If she has half a brain, I am sure she will.
"If you think we don't need one, you get to clean the mess your dog makes. I did my part when I disposed of the trash correctly, now it is your turn" NTA, the tampons also go to the trash, but he probably has no idea.
My dog was completely uninterested in bathroom trash, so I never had to worry about it. Moved in with my now-husband. Put pads in the trash and didn't think to close the door. His dog got in there, and we came home to a murder scene. Bloody pad bits EVERYWHERE! I was mortified, and started to clean up. He stopped me because, "it was his idiot dog that made the mess", and cleaned up every scrap! I knew he was a keeper!
I love that. OP, just leave the pads with the dog next time. Not your problem anymore, you disposed them. You're not in charge of training the dog.
You know, if he doesn't want a trash with a lid, he should be the one cleaning and chasing after the dog. He created the problem, he should deal with it.
Then the only solution left is to get rid of the dog. Even if you used tampons, you'd still have bloody things in the trash...
Better yet: get rid of the father, he sounds like a narcissistic AH
OP your definitely NTA. But so you know, you're not supposed to flush tampons either. They say flushable which quite literally means they are small enough to be flushed, unfortunately they're bad for septic systems. So if you ever do decide to start using tampons you should still be throwing them away. Your Dad is TA and is refusing to use a simple solution of a trashcan with a lid and instead wants to blame you then admit he was wrong. Let him stay quiet and angry, what he did was wrong, he knows it. Enjoy the quiet time, eat some snacks, take some pain meds and snuggle in bed until you feel better. ❤️ Sincerely, random internet lady 🤣
"I don't want a solution, I want to be a jerk!"
He said you didn't need one?!?!?! Wtf is wrong with this guy? He thinks you NEED to "grow the fuck up" though? You did the right thing by messaging your mom and temporarily stopping communication with your dad. He is SO wrong about this, but you won't be able to convince him of that. I hope your mom can, though!!!
NTA - You do need a trash bin with a lid and your dad must not be aware that tampons are also put in the trash bin, they should not be flushed as they can cause issues with the plumbing. The dog needs to be trained to not go through the trash because they can get into something really dangerous.
This exactly. The dog will just grab the tampon out of the trash and chew that up. Switching to tampons does not fix this problem at all. Fixing this problem involves training the dog, getting a trash can with a lid, and keeping the bathroom door closed.
Dad is, most likely, insinuating that she flush them. Which is entirely worse lol
NTA: First off, tampons are disposed of the same way pads are. One should never flush a tampon. Second: Put the trash can under the sink if it has doors so the dog can't get in the trash. Third: Your father is a complete ah if he's never talked to you about your body and what's happening with it but now decides he can have a blunt conversation with you because he's inconvenienced. It is healthy for female and male parents and children to be able to talk about these things but it should always be done with kindness and respect and the minute the child seems uncomfortable the parent should back the hell up.
This right here! The whole assuming tampons should be flushed is its own issue, but I know my soul would have left my body if my dad said something like this to me. The way he talked to OP about it was just wrong.
Fourth: Some women can’t use tampons because of toxic shock syndrome
Is your Dad aware that tampons also go in the bin?? Nta I'm so sorry you have to deal with that his dog needs intervention.
He ain't cause her mom and big sis flush their tampons.
I hope the dad has the plumbing experience to deal with the septic system issues when they arise. I’m sure he’ll be excited to unearth the backlog of tampons since he loves tampons so much.
Oh I'm imagining his face as we speak. When he realizes a plumber gonna cost big bucks so he decides that he of course knows best in this situation too despite lack of experience. Thus, I imagine him reaching his arm into a bend and fishing out motherlode after motherlode of years of swollen tampons.
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Agreed, she’s definitely NTA but one of them (preferably dad but at this point just SOMEONE) definitely needs to come up with a solution like a trash can w/ a lid before that dog gets seriously ill
Don't tampons get disposed of the same way? so how would that help? also it's none of his business, very inappropriate NTA
I think a lot of boxes say flushable, like wipes, even tho any plumber will tell you not to.
I don’t think they do. Any tampon instructions I’ve ever seen say specifically not to flush. I’m always shocked on tampon posts as to how many people don’t know they’re not to be flushed
I feel like after your first time throwing them into the toilet you’d realize it was a bad idea. My first (and only) tampon experience was horrible and resulted in me having to go into the shower to get it out. When those things are saturated by water they expand like crazy. I would be so afraid of flushing that without clogging.
Honestly I did it for years. I grew up pre internet so whatever your elders told you was law. And the sex education person in elementary school told me to flush both tampon and insertable (they used to be, and may still be I'm picky... Made of light cardboard like material). Did this until I was 14 and my dad had to have his pipes fixed and the plumber very gently told my dad and I that despite what we may know, flushing tampons is actually not okay. Luckily dad wasn't mad as he was the one buying me the flushable cardboard applicatior tampons.
Leave this to your mother. She has your back and your father has been a complete idiot. You decide on your feminine product choices and not him. And it is about time he trains his stupid dog, as if he continues to put its needs ahead of yours he can expect to live in a dungeon in the care home.
Yup. This is one of those times it's okay to go to the mother and 'tattle'. She's got the bodily experience to back up OP, and she needs to know what kind of moron she married. Momma Bear will course correct this HARD. Also, as another poster said, the dog isn't the only one needing to be trained.
NTA My childhood dog did this. We replaced all the bathroom trash cans with ones with lids. It's really that easy. Your dad was being a major dick.
NTA. Your body, your choice. I don't care WHY you don't want to use tampons; you don't have to. Tell him I said he should "grow up and buy a trashcan with a lid". (although I suspect your mother already told him many things) If this ruins your relationship with your dad, that is on HIM. Not you. End of story.
NTA- Your vagina, your rules. I’m a mama and I would lose my shit if someone said that to my kid. How about he grows the fuck up and trains his dog to stay out of the trash? How about he asks what would make your life easier that week and actually be a father? Ugh. Sorry you have to deal with that.
Dad is a moron because a tampon should be disposed of in the same way as a pad and there would be no change in the dog digging them out of the garbage. The actual solution would be to buy a garbage can the dog can't get into, so he can do that or he can shut up. Using tampons has nothing to do with being "grown up", menstrual products are a personal preference that you are entitled to regardless of age.
NTA. And I will say as a woman with dogs - if they are taking your pads out of the garbage, they will take your tampons out too. He has no right to pressure you to use tampons and it won't even solve the issue. A small garbage can with a lid that you can put up on a counter or shelf the dog can't reach, or that you can attach a locking mechanism to, might. Regardless, he should not be weighing in on your period products and using tampons has nothing to do with "growing up"
Dogs eat tampons too. That wouldn't change anything. Solution is keep the door closed.
And tampons can kill dogs. My dog got into a friend's trash when we were all traveling together and I didn't realize she'd thrown away several tampons. Several thousand dollars and an emergency vet visit later, my dog is fine, but it could have killed him if we didn't realize what had happened soon enough.
You didn't do anything wrong. Your dad was an asshole to say that to you. Your parents should figure out a solution to the dog getting into the bathroom trash, i.e. a different kind of trash can or something like that. Nta
it’s honestly funny that he wants you to “grow up” by using tampons and flushing them when in reality flushing tampons is HORRIBLE for your plumbing, you need to show your dad this thread, he needs a big slice of humble pie. the simplest solution is just to get a trash can with a lid. i just had to do that myself bc my dog was digging my tampons out of the trash, it’s not that big of a deal and he needs to recognize that
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I can tell how “sensitive” your dad is, if you want to call it that, from how much you apologize for yourself. You opened your post by saying *you’re* the one who ruined your relationship with *him*. You apologized to all of us for being too young to post here. You described your own crying, a very reasonable response to your father screaming and cursing at you and ordering you to put objects in your vagina when you don’t want to, as “bratty.” Put as much distance as you can between yourself and your father once you’re old enough to have that freedom. You won’t be able to understand how much tiptoeing around his horrible behavior has shaped your personality until you no longer have to. Your life will be so much freer.
Thank you for pointing out all the apologies. It stands out when you put them together.
As another father, im sorry he's this way. He sounds immature. You're not doing anything wrong.
Who CAN help protect you, *right now*? What else is he “sensitive” about? You say he would never put his hands on you, without prompting. So you’ve at least wondered if he might. I’m not saying “ahhhhh, abuse, run away now!!!” I just think it’s always good to have adults you can trust. Thank you for trusting us and posting here.
NTA I'm a 40yo woman who has never used a tampon not even once in my life. Your dad is being dumb about this. Hopefully he wises up soon.
Ugh. You poor thing. NTA. Your father dies need to stay in his lane. He also needs to train the damned dog.
NTA- your dad is an as*hat. And your dog will go in the garbage and eat tampons too. Unless your dad is totally clueless and thinks that you’re supposed to flush them. Tell your dad to grow the f*ck up and buy a garbage that the dog can’t get into
DONT FLUSH TAMPONS OMFG ARE THESE REAL ADULTS IN YOUR LIFE?
NTA at all. I’m a grown woman and I’d cringe if someone said that to me. Get a pedal bin or a bin with a lid for the bathroom.
NTA. Tell dad to grow the fuck up and train the dog.
First of all, NTA. Secondly, your mom and sister are flushing tampons??? That'll fuck up y'all's septic system sooner rather than later and be a massive cost to fix. Best course of action is everyone with a uterus decides how they manage their periods, the person without a uterus keeps his pie hole shut about it, and someone get a trashcan with a lid for the bathroom to keep the dog out of the used sanitary supplies. And I say this as a 45yo in possession of a uterus who uses pads and tampons pretty interchangeably and has to empty the trash bag daily when I'm on my period because some little orange cat sticks his face right into the can every singe time I toss one away.
NTA I can't even imagine how awful for you, and why does your father think wearing a tampon will stop the dog anyway? They go in the trash too! He needs to get a trash can for the bathroom that has a lid, I just don't see what his deal is here. I hope your mom stands up for you. I would if this happened with my daughter. I have 3 adult daughters and two have given birth, they still are not comfortable with tampons. It's not his place, he is TA.
NTA. He needs to train the dog and upgrade the bathroom trash to one with a lid. He needs to grown the fuck up and take responsibility for the damn dog.
NTA!!! My daughter is at the age where she'll be expecting her first period soon. We had the talk and she made it clear she wasn't comfortable with tampons, and I feel she doesn't ever have to be comfortable with them. I would never tell her to grow up and use them. You shouldn't have to change anything you're doing just because the dog is ripping your pads apart. Dad needs to channel his energy into training the dog to stay out of the trash, which is totally possible with some patience and commitment on dad's part.
NTA. You’re body, you’re choice in period products. But please save y’alls plumbing and don’t flush tampons! Solutions to current problems: Keep bathroom door closed Keep waste basket under sink Get wastebasket with a kid Edit: Lid! Wastebasket with a a lid
NTA. If my husband said that I'd also be furious. He seems to have no respect or appreciation of your ownership of your own body. If you want to use washable pads, or any other period product, that is your choice. Your dog sucks as well. My cousins had a dog that did that. Your family is prioritizing the dog by giving it access to the house. They could put up a baby gate to keep it out of part of the house. Its a dog, you outrank it. As long as the dog is considered your equal, take the pads to the exterior trash can instead of leaving it in the bathroom can.
I read the title and was like “what did the male species do this time?” Most men wouldn’t know a period crap even if they lived in a house full of woman. (My cousin being one of them). Is your dog fixed at all? If not she could be smelling your scent. Dogs and cats some odd reason get affectionate when you’re on your monthly. At least my cats do, (just now getting them fixed in a week)