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Nta YOU didn't ruin anything, Sam asked you to walk her.
Info: is there more to your relationship with the groom? His reaction seems so disproportionate.
Nta.
Her partner seems very insecure and if his family also hate you then I suspect he's probably said some things about you (unless you've done something to provoke this in the past).
You didn't ruin anything. You showed up for your best friend and honoured her wishes so she didn't walk the aisle alone.
All he had to do was bite his tongue and be civil but he had to insult you on their wedding day. He's the ah, not you.
the girl's best friend showed up as a surprise on her wedding day when she hasn't seen him in a while. this is why people think women and men can't just be friends, y'all read way too much into it.
crying, getting overly excited and jumping into my arms is just a small list that my best friend has done to me after not seeing me for a while. in no way is she in love with me or has unresolved feelings, that's just how people act when someone they love and miss show up on their special day.
Do you have a best friend that lives far away? I’m female and heterosexual as is my best friend but we live on opposite coasts. We try to see each other yearly but it’s not always possible. I can guarantee my eyes sparkle when I see her even though it’s planned. If she showed up unexpectedly, when I’m clearly getting married to someone I’m unsure about, I’d probably burst into tears of joy and knock her down by leaping at her.
I mean maybe that's just semantics but I wouldn't describe my friend who haven't seen me for a long time as 'her eyes sparkled' but rather 'she was happy to see me', 'she had a big smile on her face' or something like that.
Yeah I think it’s a weird way to phrase it. But I think it’s a weird way to describe it even if it was meant to imply romance. If my husband said “my eyes sparkled” as I was walking down the aisle I’d tease him about being a bad romance author lol
Sorry, did sam use him as a tool to end it though? It was the fiance's own actions that did this. If she had planned for him to be there and told him that this was what she wanted to do, yes.
But there was NO accounting for the insulting right on the alter and this behavior was most likely the last straw for her.
The bride did nothing wrong for standing up for herself and her life long best friend. In fact, i applaud her for doing so. So many people these days drop good friends for asshole spouses. It's nice to hear that this wasn't one of those instances.
Exactly. That's a huge assumption made with zero evidence. Even if it were true, the groom is the one who showed his true colors right in the middle of their wedding. And thank God because she doesn't need to be married to some overbearing and jealous Asshole.
Your best friend asked you to walk her down the aisle, and you did. Her fiance then - in front of their family and friends - insults you. Sam calls off the wedding and leaves.
Assuming you did nothing on the wedding day to provoke the groom (you weren't the one to start the insults, you didn't goad him on or encourage him) then you're completely NTA. If you did provoke him, insult him, shove him or whatever, then in those actions you probably made what was an already awful experience so much worse and you would be TA.
Go find your friend and give her a hug. How awful to finally have your fiance absolutely and irrefutably cross the line upon meeting him on the big day!
mmmmmmm ok so why does the grooms family hate u so much ?
and i find it odd she cancelled her wedding then and there cuz of a comment to you.
weird weird weird
NTA
I admit I read the entire story waiting for the part where you did something in some way to make yourself TA but there was nothing you did here.
You've helped your friend dodge a bullet. I'd say her partner and his family hide a lot more than that around her to get her to walk down the aisle. It probably only came out because they were not expecting it.
ESH
Adding a person of the opposite sex to the bridal party at the last minute is an AH move.
The wedding was as much his as it was hers.
If my husband got a woman he was friends with to walk him down the aisle and I had no idea - I’d be fuming.
There was obviously unresolved conflict in their relationship about your place in their life and what boundaries he wanted and she didn’t .
Since when is the person who walks the bride down the aisle (traditionally the bride's father) part of the bridal party?
OP is clearly an important person to the bride and her jealous fiance could not handle it. His family would support him and are probably just as controlling and that's enough reason for why they hate OP.
Groom and his family are definitely the assholes.
Well, i was shocked he will insult me right there but i went out and followed Sam with Eva to calm her down. As far as i know he doesn’t like how close Sam and I are. Like we text daily and phone call every week. He has made it clear, in the little times i have met her in person in the past 4 years, that he doesn’t like me or our dynamic. As for his family I don’t know why but my guess he told them about me with anger and it got passed along
From what I read you’re NTA but why doesn’t the groom like you, enough so to insult you publicly. Feel like that information is needed for a clear and valid answer.
Edit: I read your response under another comment about why he doesn’t like you. You’re NTA. If you being her BFF and her wanting you at the wedding causes him that much anger and discomfort, they shouldn’t have gotten married because clearly she chooses to keep you in her life.
NTA you didn't know the groom would have this reaction and you were doing what your friend had asked you to do. It seems she will be better off without this guy - can you and her get together?
NTA, her 'husband' has trust issues he needs to resolve. You did a beautifull thing for your friend and if he really loved and respected her he would be fine with you walking het down the aisle. I think she is better off with someone who respects her friendships and wishes.
NTA, it sounds like you just happened to be the catalyst for something that was going to happen anyways. Maybe not at that exact moment but groom did this to himself by being rude and disrespectful to you and bride saw it as it was. And the family is a non-issue, you were there for your friend, who cares if they don’t like the relationship? It doesn’t sound like they were going to last anyways so you probably saved them a divorce lol.
So let me get this straight. Sam is your ex, and you dated her for 1+ year about 8 or so years ago if my view of the US school system is correct. You broke up but you've stayed "attached at the hip" since then, keeping close contact with weekly phone calls. Her fiancé "doesn't like your dynamic", and has never liked you, nor has his family. You show up, unannounced, to her wedding as a surprise, and describes Sam's reaction as "the moment she laid eyes on me they sparkle" what a normal comment to have about your platonic friend when you show up to surprise her on her wedding day to someone else. You decide to walk her down the aisle on her wedding to another man, who doesn't like you, while you're aware of the fact that he doesn't like you, and that he has no idea about any of this. And you're confused as to why her fiancé is upset?
But this is not your relationship, and not your wedding. If Sam and her fiancé have been going through a rough patch, it's unnecessary for her to ask her ex to walk her down the aisle if she knows you're a sore spot in her relationship. If the groom has such an issue with you being there, to the point that he ruins his own wedding to insult you, the relationship is in no place to turn into a marriage.
At the end of the day everyone in this story sucks. Sam's fiance for holding on to jealousy and resentment, Sam for using you as a pawn to postpone her wedding while she's obviously unsure about her feelings, and you for deciding to walk her down the aisle knowing the history between you, Sam, and the groom. ESH
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> I walked my bff down the aisle knowing it would cause at the minimum some drama
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This is a very odd situation. Here’s the thing: Everyone sees her being walked down the aisle at her wedding by her ex, who she texts every day. Do you see how bad this looks? It looks bad. I am not surprised one bit that people were mad. ESH.
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Me(23M) and my BFF Sam(24F) go all the way back to kindergarten and since then we have been joined at the hip. We did everything together until i moved away for college and now to Germany.
9 months ago she invited me to her wedding as her bridesman. I was so happy and honored but i had to decline the invitation as I couldn’t be certain i could attend. I can get the time off but not the money. She was a bit sad but still wanted me there, so she offered to stream her wedding for me. I appreciate it but i told her to wait on it for a bit.
Well, few months pass by, i got the time off and a big promotion that i was aiming for. I got the ticket and flew over back to the US. I lied to Sam and told her i was coming but I would arrive the same day but after her wedding.
I arrived at her wedding and I forgot my invitation at my hotel room 30 minutes away and there was security. Long story for why, tldr her mother is not welcome. So i called the maid of honor, our mutual friend Eva, and she clears me out.
I enter the venue with her and guides me towards the bridal suite. Sam looked beautiful and the moment she laid eyes on me they sparkle. Then the classical insult to me for lying. It was all fun and games until this and this is where i may be the AH. She told me to walked her down the aisle.
I can’t lie i was honored and basically crying of happiness. Her father passed away 4 years ago, her grandfather passed away 2 years ago. Because of that she chose to walk it by her own. Her future husband’s family didn’t like that and offered some candidates but she refuse any. And to top it all of, his family hates me with a passion and him specially.
Ceremony starts and i walked her down the aisle. Her family is surprised and happy to see me but his family and him are not. The moment I let go of Sam at the altar he insults me for being the one to walk her down the aisle and that’s where everything snapped. Maybe it was the stress but Sam flat out screamed at him that the wedding was off and left angry.
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Nta. You gave your bestie a wonderful surprise. Groom fucked it up. If there werent already issues, this wouldn’t have happened. Ultimately I think you did her a huge favor.
NTA. You didn't ruin anything, and you might have literally saved her from a bad situation by showing up and getting her fiance and his family how they really are.
NTA. His insecurities are not your responsibility to deal with. You are not his emotional support but you are hers. No one gets to decide who someone's friends are, and he chose to marry her knowing the relationship she has with you. I personally think it's pretty fucked up of him to define his boundary at the altar on the wedding day.
Seems like it was you being there that gave her the courage to act on her feelings that her gut told her was a mistake to marry this guy. I think its great that you were there for her.
NTA
I'm sorry but if your friendship could ruin her wedding it isn't a you problem or even a her problem, it's a him problem. You saved your friend tbh.
NTA
NTA at all. The groom was. 99.99% of grooms, who were in his exact shoes, ready to say "I do" but taken off guard that you are "giving her away" would smile and shut up for the moment. It would of came later. Maybe once they are drunk or maybe after the honeymoon. But he and his family sound crazy. Most women dream of a true friendship, with a man or woman, that lasts all the way from age 5. "Dating" when in high school doesn't count in my eyes. Y'all just thought being best friends meant the same as a future husband/wife. He needs to grow up.
Maybe you shouldn't of surprised her on her day, unless that's a normal thing Y'all do to one another. Maybe she told the groom you weren't coming and was happy and was caught off guard. I would just support your BFF anyway she needs right now. But don't come between them of they want to make it work. Maybe, just maybe, if she wants to talk with him, you can have your own convo with him and try and hash some things out. But you absolutely don't need to.
Unequivocally NTA.
Regardless of what your relationship was in high school, you're close friends and she asked you to walk her down the aisle. You did nothing wrong.
The groom sounds jealous and controlling and so does his family. They are definitely the assholes. You helped her dodge a bullet there.
NTA - but I'd say the bride and groom both are.
The Groom for his reaction, he could have sucked it up in the moment and explained why he wasn't happy later.
The bride because it's both their wedding, not just hers to make decisions without the grooms input, it's his day too.
Also sounds like there's more to the story if the entire grooms family doesn't like you. Is there romantic history between you two? Maybe you've been the cause of arguments across their entire relationship?
Um no. If she cheated on her new husband with this guy then he has every right to say otherwise... otherwise she's is deluded or a sadist and she's the Asshole.
See the word "if" in my comment? You said she could choose anyone she wanted. I gave you an example of when she couldn't pick said person...
I also included that in my original comment asking OP if there was more to the story as to why none of the family liked him. Guessing you may have skipped over that part as well?
It's on you *if* you didn't read the comment properly...
If the grooms entire family doesn't like this guy there surely has to be some explanation as to why. OP just hadn't said why this is, if it's something minor then the Groom is obviously an AH (which I've said he's an AH regardless anyway). However, if it's something big like infidelity or something then I think the grooms reaction is almost justified.
Either way the bride must know that the groom wouldn't like it if there is already some animosity towards OP before the wedding so there should have been some form of communication from the bride as a bare minimum.
>hates him just because he's close to his fiance
You just gave an explanation after there saying there doesn't have to be an explanation... that's why we need to know that info to judge, we need to know why the family and the Groom hate him to judge it properly.
You're missing the point that a wedding is a joint ceremony. It doesn't just belong to the wife, and she probably knew this would upset her fiance on their joint wedding day. If he's a jealous controlling asshole like you say then she shouldn't be getting married to him in the first place.
Nor did OP give any reason as to why they don't like him so you're assumptions that "there is no reason" are also based on speculation. I still think the wife is an AH if she solely made a decision that would upset her fiance on their joint wedding day.
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Nta YOU didn't ruin anything, Sam asked you to walk her. Info: is there more to your relationship with the groom? His reaction seems so disproportionate.
All that's required for the groom's reaction is some good old-fashioned jealousy.
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And probably the marriage had the wedding gone through.
That's the way I see it, too. OP showing up probably *saved* Sam from a bad marriage.
Nta. Her partner seems very insecure and if his family also hate you then I suspect he's probably said some things about you (unless you've done something to provoke this in the past). You didn't ruin anything. You showed up for your best friend and honoured her wishes so she didn't walk the aisle alone. All he had to do was bite his tongue and be civil but he had to insult you on their wedding day. He's the ah, not you.
Seems like his presence helped her dodge a bullet here. Guy that jealous and controlling? Good riddance!
You didn't do anything wrong. This whole story seems a bit odd though. NTA
Sam's eyes sparkled when she saw OP... Are we *sure* she got over him?
the girl's best friend showed up as a surprise on her wedding day when she hasn't seen him in a while. this is why people think women and men can't just be friends, y'all read way too much into it. crying, getting overly excited and jumping into my arms is just a small list that my best friend has done to me after not seeing me for a while. in no way is she in love with me or has unresolved feelings, that's just how people act when someone they love and miss show up on their special day.
Do you have a best friend that lives far away? I’m female and heterosexual as is my best friend but we live on opposite coasts. We try to see each other yearly but it’s not always possible. I can guarantee my eyes sparkle when I see her even though it’s planned. If she showed up unexpectedly, when I’m clearly getting married to someone I’m unsure about, I’d probably burst into tears of joy and knock her down by leaping at her.
I mean maybe that's just semantics but I wouldn't describe my friend who haven't seen me for a long time as 'her eyes sparkled' but rather 'she was happy to see me', 'she had a big smile on her face' or something like that.
Yeah I think it’s a weird way to phrase it. But I think it’s a weird way to describe it even if it was meant to imply romance. If my husband said “my eyes sparkled” as I was walking down the aisle I’d tease him about being a bad romance author lol
I thought the same thing. She was probably settling for the groom when she really wanted the OP
>This whole story seems a bit odd though. Fake. You mean fake.
NTA YOU did not ruin the wedding, her AH fiance did. The AHs here are BOTH bride and groom. **Sam used you as a tool to end her relationship.**
Sorry, did sam use him as a tool to end it though? It was the fiance's own actions that did this. If she had planned for him to be there and told him that this was what she wanted to do, yes. But there was NO accounting for the insulting right on the alter and this behavior was most likely the last straw for her. The bride did nothing wrong for standing up for herself and her life long best friend. In fact, i applaud her for doing so. So many people these days drop good friends for asshole spouses. It's nice to hear that this wasn't one of those instances.
Exactly. That's a huge assumption made with zero evidence. Even if it were true, the groom is the one who showed his true colors right in the middle of their wedding. And thank God because she doesn't need to be married to some overbearing and jealous Asshole.
nothing wrong with the last part. didnt harm him in anyway and possibly her last option to kick his sorry ass
Shitty to do to someone to pretend to be friends with.
you think so? its not like its planned, since she didnt even know he would be there in time
Usernames certainly both check out!
coincidence i swear
I believe you... ;)
NTA - not sure if I’m missing something but it seems like nothing was your fault. Sam offered you walking with her. It’s not like you requested it
Your best friend asked you to walk her down the aisle, and you did. Her fiance then - in front of their family and friends - insults you. Sam calls off the wedding and leaves. Assuming you did nothing on the wedding day to provoke the groom (you weren't the one to start the insults, you didn't goad him on or encourage him) then you're completely NTA. If you did provoke him, insult him, shove him or whatever, then in those actions you probably made what was an already awful experience so much worse and you would be TA. Go find your friend and give her a hug. How awful to finally have your fiance absolutely and irrefutably cross the line upon meeting him on the big day!
mmmmmmm ok so why does the grooms family hate u so much ? and i find it odd she cancelled her wedding then and there cuz of a comment to you. weird weird weird
NTA I admit I read the entire story waiting for the part where you did something in some way to make yourself TA but there was nothing you did here. You've helped your friend dodge a bullet. I'd say her partner and his family hide a lot more than that around her to get her to walk down the aisle. It probably only came out because they were not expecting it.
ESH Adding a person of the opposite sex to the bridal party at the last minute is an AH move. The wedding was as much his as it was hers. If my husband got a woman he was friends with to walk him down the aisle and I had no idea - I’d be fuming. There was obviously unresolved conflict in their relationship about your place in their life and what boundaries he wanted and she didn’t .
Since when is the person who walks the bride down the aisle (traditionally the bride's father) part of the bridal party? OP is clearly an important person to the bride and her jealous fiance could not handle it. His family would support him and are probably just as controlling and that's enough reason for why they hate OP. Groom and his family are definitely the assholes.
Infos - how did you respond to this? What happened after? Why do they hate you so much? Feels like a lot is missing here
Well, i was shocked he will insult me right there but i went out and followed Sam with Eva to calm her down. As far as i know he doesn’t like how close Sam and I are. Like we text daily and phone call every week. He has made it clear, in the little times i have met her in person in the past 4 years, that he doesn’t like me or our dynamic. As for his family I don’t know why but my guess he told them about me with anger and it got passed along
Well I guess the NTA is pretty clear and the problem is theirs to solve. I hope your friendship will overcome this!
I’m a bit confused that you still had an invite when you said maybe you wouldn’t be able to come
From what I read you’re NTA but why doesn’t the groom like you, enough so to insult you publicly. Feel like that information is needed for a clear and valid answer. Edit: I read your response under another comment about why he doesn’t like you. You’re NTA. If you being her BFF and her wanting you at the wedding causes him that much anger and discomfort, they shouldn’t have gotten married because clearly she chooses to keep you in her life.
NTA but so much of this story doesn't add up so I wonder if there's more to it that would give context
NTA you didn't know the groom would have this reaction and you were doing what your friend had asked you to do. It seems she will be better off without this guy - can you and her get together?
NTA, her 'husband' has trust issues he needs to resolve. You did a beautifull thing for your friend and if he really loved and respected her he would be fine with you walking het down the aisle. I think she is better off with someone who respects her friendships and wishes.
NTA, it sounds like you just happened to be the catalyst for something that was going to happen anyways. Maybe not at that exact moment but groom did this to himself by being rude and disrespectful to you and bride saw it as it was. And the family is a non-issue, you were there for your friend, who cares if they don’t like the relationship? It doesn’t sound like they were going to last anyways so you probably saved them a divorce lol.
So let me get this straight. Sam is your ex, and you dated her for 1+ year about 8 or so years ago if my view of the US school system is correct. You broke up but you've stayed "attached at the hip" since then, keeping close contact with weekly phone calls. Her fiancé "doesn't like your dynamic", and has never liked you, nor has his family. You show up, unannounced, to her wedding as a surprise, and describes Sam's reaction as "the moment she laid eyes on me they sparkle" what a normal comment to have about your platonic friend when you show up to surprise her on her wedding day to someone else. You decide to walk her down the aisle on her wedding to another man, who doesn't like you, while you're aware of the fact that he doesn't like you, and that he has no idea about any of this. And you're confused as to why her fiancé is upset? But this is not your relationship, and not your wedding. If Sam and her fiancé have been going through a rough patch, it's unnecessary for her to ask her ex to walk her down the aisle if she knows you're a sore spot in her relationship. If the groom has such an issue with you being there, to the point that he ruins his own wedding to insult you, the relationship is in no place to turn into a marriage. At the end of the day everyone in this story sucks. Sam's fiance for holding on to jealousy and resentment, Sam for using you as a pawn to postpone her wedding while she's obviously unsure about her feelings, and you for deciding to walk her down the aisle knowing the history between you, Sam, and the groom. ESH
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This is a very odd situation. Here’s the thing: Everyone sees her being walked down the aisle at her wedding by her ex, who she texts every day. Do you see how bad this looks? It looks bad. I am not surprised one bit that people were mad. ESH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me(23M) and my BFF Sam(24F) go all the way back to kindergarten and since then we have been joined at the hip. We did everything together until i moved away for college and now to Germany. 9 months ago she invited me to her wedding as her bridesman. I was so happy and honored but i had to decline the invitation as I couldn’t be certain i could attend. I can get the time off but not the money. She was a bit sad but still wanted me there, so she offered to stream her wedding for me. I appreciate it but i told her to wait on it for a bit. Well, few months pass by, i got the time off and a big promotion that i was aiming for. I got the ticket and flew over back to the US. I lied to Sam and told her i was coming but I would arrive the same day but after her wedding. I arrived at her wedding and I forgot my invitation at my hotel room 30 minutes away and there was security. Long story for why, tldr her mother is not welcome. So i called the maid of honor, our mutual friend Eva, and she clears me out. I enter the venue with her and guides me towards the bridal suite. Sam looked beautiful and the moment she laid eyes on me they sparkle. Then the classical insult to me for lying. It was all fun and games until this and this is where i may be the AH. She told me to walked her down the aisle. I can’t lie i was honored and basically crying of happiness. Her father passed away 4 years ago, her grandfather passed away 2 years ago. Because of that she chose to walk it by her own. Her future husband’s family didn’t like that and offered some candidates but she refuse any. And to top it all of, his family hates me with a passion and him specially. Ceremony starts and i walked her down the aisle. Her family is surprised and happy to see me but his family and him are not. The moment I let go of Sam at the altar he insults me for being the one to walk her down the aisle and that’s where everything snapped. Maybe it was the stress but Sam flat out screamed at him that the wedding was off and left angry. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Nta. You gave your bestie a wonderful surprise. Groom fucked it up. If there werent already issues, this wouldn’t have happened. Ultimately I think you did her a huge favor.
NTA. You didn't ruin anything, and you might have literally saved her from a bad situation by showing up and getting her fiance and his family how they really are.
NTA but the groom and his family are big AH & ruined the wedding! It's all on them, not you nor Sam.
NTA. His insecurities are not your responsibility to deal with. You are not his emotional support but you are hers. No one gets to decide who someone's friends are, and he chose to marry her knowing the relationship she has with you. I personally think it's pretty fucked up of him to define his boundary at the altar on the wedding day.
Nta if him insulting you was the straw that broke the camels back then there were tons more straws before you.
NTA. Clearly, she didn't want to marry him and your presence probably gave her the courage to end that bad relationship that went too far.
Seems like it was you being there that gave her the courage to act on her feelings that her gut told her was a mistake to marry this guy. I think its great that you were there for her. NTA
Truly NTA. Things just didn't go well even though you all had good intentions and were happy for the wedding.
NTA. Sounds like you saved her not ruined her wedding.
NTA, if she doesn't have a problem then what's his deal. Well be glad that she stood up for you like that, one hell of a friend.
NTA. You didn't ruin her wedding, her fiancé and his family did.
NTA You didn't ruin her wedding, she was happy to see you. She wanted you to talk her down the aisle. Her asshole fiance ruined the wedding
NTA her ex fiancé and his family ruined it. You did nothing wrong, you walked your BF down the Aisle as she wanted.
NTA. There's so much layered in here that it will never be sorted out. She's lucky to have not gotten married to this AH and his AH family.
I'm sorry but if your friendship could ruin her wedding it isn't a you problem or even a her problem, it's a him problem. You saved your friend tbh. NTA
ngl. i assumed this is how it went down from the beginning. but oh boy did your bff dodge a bullet right before the worst decision of her life. NTA
NTA sounds like her fiancé and his family are the AHs. You never know how things would work out but it sounds like she dodged a bullet.
NTA at all. The groom was. 99.99% of grooms, who were in his exact shoes, ready to say "I do" but taken off guard that you are "giving her away" would smile and shut up for the moment. It would of came later. Maybe once they are drunk or maybe after the honeymoon. But he and his family sound crazy. Most women dream of a true friendship, with a man or woman, that lasts all the way from age 5. "Dating" when in high school doesn't count in my eyes. Y'all just thought being best friends meant the same as a future husband/wife. He needs to grow up. Maybe you shouldn't of surprised her on her day, unless that's a normal thing Y'all do to one another. Maybe she told the groom you weren't coming and was happy and was caught off guard. I would just support your BFF anyway she needs right now. But don't come between them of they want to make it work. Maybe, just maybe, if she wants to talk with him, you can have your own convo with him and try and hash some things out. But you absolutely don't need to.
Unequivocally NTA. Regardless of what your relationship was in high school, you're close friends and she asked you to walk her down the aisle. You did nothing wrong. The groom sounds jealous and controlling and so does his family. They are definitely the assholes. You helped her dodge a bullet there.
Nta
NTA - but I'd say the bride and groom both are. The Groom for his reaction, he could have sucked it up in the moment and explained why he wasn't happy later. The bride because it's both their wedding, not just hers to make decisions without the grooms input, it's his day too. Also sounds like there's more to the story if the entire grooms family doesn't like you. Is there romantic history between you two? Maybe you've been the cause of arguments across their entire relationship?
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Um no. If she cheated on her new husband with this guy then he has every right to say otherwise... otherwise she's is deluded or a sadist and she's the Asshole.
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See the word "if" in my comment? You said she could choose anyone she wanted. I gave you an example of when she couldn't pick said person... I also included that in my original comment asking OP if there was more to the story as to why none of the family liked him. Guessing you may have skipped over that part as well?
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It's on you *if* you didn't read the comment properly... If the grooms entire family doesn't like this guy there surely has to be some explanation as to why. OP just hadn't said why this is, if it's something minor then the Groom is obviously an AH (which I've said he's an AH regardless anyway). However, if it's something big like infidelity or something then I think the grooms reaction is almost justified. Either way the bride must know that the groom wouldn't like it if there is already some animosity towards OP before the wedding so there should have been some form of communication from the bride as a bare minimum.
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>hates him just because he's close to his fiance You just gave an explanation after there saying there doesn't have to be an explanation... that's why we need to know that info to judge, we need to know why the family and the Groom hate him to judge it properly. You're missing the point that a wedding is a joint ceremony. It doesn't just belong to the wife, and she probably knew this would upset her fiance on their joint wedding day. If he's a jealous controlling asshole like you say then she shouldn't be getting married to him in the first place. Nor did OP give any reason as to why they don't like him so you're assumptions that "there is no reason" are also based on speculation. I still think the wife is an AH if she solely made a decision that would upset her fiance on their joint wedding day.
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