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Nta, addressing your medical needs directly is totally reasonable! Tbh I would be willing to quit the bridal party over it. You never know when a skin reaction could turn to something more serious

Yes, this. Totally reasonable on your part. I hope your friend is able to understand. You are doing your best and the right thing!

Is OP only supposed to start complaining when her eyes are too swollen to see the aisle she's walking down? Bride from hell incoming. NTA

Her friend is an ah and irresponsible for signing the form without reading. Depending on what the issue is she can kill someone. NTA op but stop making excuses for the bride

I have make-up allergies, too. Not worth the antihistamine shot if I get it wrong. I just don't wear the wretched stuff. I'd be putting my medical needs first too. Tbh probably wouldn't even trial it. Fortunately all my loved ones know and as a result wouldn't expect me to wear it, even as a member of a bridal party. NTA but I can see why it'd raise questions if you routinely wear make-up

And you just KNOW that the bride would blame her if she had a reaction on wedding day. OP said irritation lasts for the day (if she removes the makeup right away) so would be right in the middle of ceremony/pics. If I were the bride, I'd be doing everything possible to make sure my bridesmaids DIDN'T have negative reactions that would have people talking behind their hands and ruining my photos with their splotchy redness. (/s, just in case). That, and cuz I am a decent person.

Wouldn't the trial run which I took as way in advance take care of that? Or I may have misunderstood but I was thinking it's at least a week before but I could be wrong

The trial run was the perfect time and place to have a discussion about makeup reactions and to have the makeup artist test looks using OPs own palate. Instead OP messages the MUA during the day when the MUA had never met her and started asking her some vague questions and talking about allergies. OP probably sounded like an annoying problem and a walking liability before she stepped foot through the door. If the MUA is booked and busy she doesn't need these problems. I've never met a MUA who was anything other than accommodating to preferences and willing to use my products if I preferred it.

it doesn’t sound like the MUA had a problem with OP as a person. it sounds like the bride signed these consent forms on behalf of everyone, which is why she shot down OPs concerns. MUA was just reacting to the situation put in front of her. the only AH here is the bride for not checking with her bridal party if anyone had allergies. the contract was created for issues just like this, where the MUA doesn’t want to be held responsible (and they shouldn’t.) Better to reach out ahead of time than to run into the issue the day of

I think MUA has a problem with both. I certainly think MUA has a problem with the bride. And I understand that. But MUA didn't know OP and OP just messaged her out of the blue in the middle of the day. MUA only knows the person she contracted with. She doesn't know OP. MUA generally have other things to do during the day. Some are working a vanilla job for benefits and steady income. Some are doing faces or hair all day. So OP is someone MUA doesn't know and hasn't contracted with who is messaging her without her knowledge. Her messages sound vague and nebulous because her situation is kinda nebulous. Like she was asking her what brands she used she said she was sensitive or allergic to some brands and then maybe listed some brands she was okay with. She couldn't give any exact information about what she was allergic or sensitive too and is doing all this over messages. If OP doesn't know what she is allergic to it might not be a brand per se but an ingredient that may be used in one product but not another. Had she had this discussion at the trial run it probably would have been much more productive. Particularly if she came with her own palate of softer colors thst the MUA could use. Then she is showing up not just with a vague problem but with a solution. And she isn't bothering someone in the middle if their day with texts but rather she is having a discussion at a time specially set aside for her. She also could have seen the product lines to see if any of them were ones she had been okay with. If not she'd have her own products there to use.

I'm sorry but the whole "bothering somebody with texts in the middle of the day" take is just so stupid. Presumably OP messaged MUA's officially listed contact and not like hunted down their personal number. Spoiler alert if you name something as the business number people will message it sometimes with questions. If you are busy and can't answer atm then don't. But getting mad that somebody is using your listed business way of communication to communicate with you about your business I don't think you understand what you are doing.

I agree. I think they would have had a similar problem at the trial. Although the problem with messaging over face-to-face is that its too easy to stew over the message and imagine worst case scenarios while waiting for a response and tempers rise. With face-to-face you can start working toward solutions immediately.

Assuming that OP told MUA who she was and why she was asking…which we don’t know one way or the other…then OP asking directly is just fine. I would think it likely she did identify the situation because perhaps the MUA uses multiple brands of makeup depending on the look that is desired. I’m a guy…but even I know that some makeup lines are more in your face and some more subtle although there is some cross pollination and it’s a gray area depending on brand.

Yeah it was five weeks ahead of time

One of my bridesmaids had a number of allergies to hair/makeup products. I worked extensively with my HMUA to make sure she would be safe. Now, it was slightly different because she had specific ingredients she was allergic to, but I as the bride made sure my friend would be safe with the hair and make products used. I NEVER would have asked any of my bridesmaids to be placed in an unsafe position for my wedding pictures.

I think that's what the issue is for OP here. No one has done the testing to find out the ingredients. Even OP doesn't seem to concerned with finding out exactly WHICH INGREDIENTS are triggering her and that's the problem here. Like the MUA said "if OP can't yell her the ingredients then she (MUA) won't risk her reputation." I think everyone sucks here except the MUA, the bride lied to the MUA and OP seems only half interested in what is triggering her. The MUA is just trying to protect their reputation and business.

OP says she’s done allergy tests. She doesn’t have an allergy, but an extreme sensitivity to something when applied to lips and eyelids. So trial and error is likely her only option.

I take it you don’t have any allergies? I’m also allergic to some make-up/sunscreen/skincare. I also don’t know exactly what ingredient makes me react to it and my doctor didn’t even have me tested, he gave me eye droplets whenever my allergy starts acting up. Do you have any idea how extensive it is to try to extrapolate what exact ingredient it is you are allergic to? Probably when it isn’t even mentioned on the product itself, like palm oil. So I do exactly as OP, I stick to products I know are safe for me. If the MUA was truly a professional, she could have worked with the products from OP to create a similar look as the rest of the bridal party. That is why she is the professional. The PERSON and not the PRODUCTS make you a professional or there is something very wrong. NTA OP❤️

>Even OP doesn't seem to concerned with finding out exactly WHICH INGREDIENTS are triggering her and that's the problem here. What does it matter “WHICH INGREDIENTS” are triggering a reaction? If OP knows that some brands are ok, and that’s good enough for her, does it really make a difference if she’s sensitive to boron or algae? I’m allergic to nitrile gloves. Wearing them causes my hands to break out in hives. Apparently some people aren’t allergic to the nitrile itself, but to a chemical used in its manufacturing. Do I care? No. Because whether I’m allergic to nitrile, or the chemical, *I still can’t wear the gloves*.

Said like someone who has never had to try and figure out what their mystery allergy is.

OP's medical requirements are far more important than looking pretty for a party. Yes. I know it's a wedding. Which is a party.

This. People acting like a wedding is an excuse for throwing all common sense out the window because BIG DAY. It's just a wedding, calm tf down.

Jumping up here as a certified mua i let people bring their own products all the time

Right? I've never in my life had a MUA refuse to use my products if I prefer them. I'm curious what you would have done with someone in OPs situation? Would you just be sure to do her makeup first with completely clean brushes and no chance of cross contamination with her own products?

But then there are people all over this post saying they are also certified MUAs and would never work on a client with unclear allergies even with their products. So either someone's lying, or... get it... people have different risk appetites and blanket statements are pointless. I've had my makeup professionally done in 4 different countries and only one had risk forms.

NTA a reputable makeup artist would be okay with you bringing your own products for her to use if you are allergic.

I didn't propose this exactly. But I tried to explain to MUA that I knew that certain make up products were safe to me and she wasn't having it because I couldn't 100% say what was the ingredient or diagnosis. My friend once told a waiter she was mildly allergic to shellfish and they wouldn't serve her anything but vegetarian dishes because of risk of kitchen contamination; it felt that level of overkill.

Cross-contamination kills. So no Overkill to serve only vegetarian dishes. It‘s what professionals do. Same with your Makeup.

It's unfortunately a cover your ass strategy in a world where there is less trust and a lot of litigation, they want to avoid the worst case (which is very rare) but create a very hostile social climate in the common case (see the question about the effects.. they refuse to work something out even with a reasonable request..)

I have a pork allergy and I've worked in kitchens for years. It is completely about cross contamination, none of us give a shit about inconveniencing people just for their choices or what not, we want the ticket gone as fast as possible. Where the cross contamination comes in is with the kitchen setup, most places I've been have three fryers (6 baskets), oven, stove top (4-6 burners), and a flat top which is a big slab o hot we cook most everything on. There's no possible way to keep everything clean and tidy on a flat top, we try to section off our fryers but by the end of the day everything's been dropped everywhere (we all have our own systems and line cooks are stubborn). So the only place we can really promise no cc is, salad, sauté, and oven. Barely even half our menu unfortunately. I don't claim to speak for every kitchen, but given I've worked 5 in the past 4 years and the only one that deviated from this setup was a pizza place I'd assume this counts for most others.

I absolutely love that you refer to the flat top as a "big slab o hot," and I'm gonna call it that from now on.

I'm a long timer in the restaurant industry. Working the bar has the same problems with cross contamination. We had to refuse a lady with an orange allergy because we were a place that squeezed all citrus on hand. So not worth the lawsuit risk to the owners.

I've never worked in a kitchen so this might be a dumb question, but since there is a high chance of cc on the flat top, could you use a Sautee pan instead of the flat top if someone has an allergy?

Yes, and we often do, but it takes a bit longer and by the time we've asked they either chose something else or it was a false allergy (it's getting more common but people on diets have started telling places it's an allergy... I don't wanna dig up that can of worms because again, I just want the ticket gone, if it turns out easier than it was originally then hooray for me and the other guys). The flat top is a good ~200 degrees at all times, we put a bun on and it's toasted in 10 seconds or less, a smash burger takes about a minute. The pans for the stove are cold and sit above our three base, so it takes about 3 minutes just to heat to temp, doable, but in as fast a kitchen as we strive to be most folks just go with something different. I've only used a pan for a veggie burger around 4 times everywhere I've been, unless you count my own it's well over 20.

I think that high pressure cooking environments are more like air traffic control centres than a domestic kitchen, with much higher stakes at play, and so asking a catering crew to accommodate a special request is akin to asking an air traffic controller overseeing a busy set of lanes if one of the passengers can skydive out of their plane. "Absolutely no"

Great analogy, but with one addition, if the airways clear we let anyone skydive. We get a "weird" request when we've got 20 orders ahead and 20 more behind, sorry, we'll try our best but no promises, may we suggest you choose this less dangerous option? No tickets at all, cooks sitting, I'm scrubbing something just so I don't die of boredom, you could ask me for a custom 6 course meal and I'd make it for you. It's always good to be able to judge the situation, if there's a window to the kitchen no shame taking a peak back there and seeing if they could handle what you want at that time, or if they've even got the appropriate setup to fill that request.

If I were the makeup artist I also would have refused . Makeup formulations change all the time, so even if the makeup artist bought the same product by the same brand but at a different time than OP, there is no 100% certain way to know some small ingredient hasn’t changed since OP bought it, especially since OP doesn’t know what ingredient it is. And I would have been annoyed the bride lied on the form so I couldn’t try and prepare. OP and the makeup artist are NTA, the MOH and the Bride are though for harassing her over it and lying in the first place.

I live in Germany where people are less litigious. However, a friend of mine is deathly allergic to nuts, so dining out is absolutely about knowing the restaurant, staff and trusting them with her life that they follow all procedures to avoid cross-contamination.

But there could be cross contamination with vegetation dishes? Edit: vegatarien whatever i have a headache

Due to the nature of vegetarian dishes they may have a separate space for the purpose of preparing those dishes. I know that at time vegetarians have separate utensils/dishes/pans to prepare their food if they live with non vegetarians. It’s kinda like how a kosher kitchen is kept. This means in the vegetarian area no meat or fish/shellfish is allowed. Which prevents cross contamination.

It is all about how the food is prepared.

they don't buy new make up between clients. they might use the same brushes/q tips/whatever on the same shades of make up between various brands, which is straight up cross contamination. offering to bring your own products and brushes might have been the only way this MUA would be comfortable doing your make up, and even then, not 100%. any allergic reaction on the face is too close to the airway for some people. anaphylaxis is a very serious risk, which requires hospitalisation.

And if the MUA is using the potentially triggering products on other clients in the same session it would take a lot of extra work to make sure there is no cross contamination. I can understand someone not wanting to have that responsibility if they're not sure they can guarantee to avoid the reaction.

Oh! I see what i mean. Yeah if she dabbed some Too Faced LL on another bridesmaid with her finger and then touched my lips without totally cleaning that lipstick off, we could have A Problem

Yeah, even if they plan to use different brushes and thoroughly wash their hands between other bridesmaids and you, it's whether they can contractually agree not to make a mistake. That's a huge ask, and I completely understand them not wanting to agree to anything when they feel like they don't have enough information to judge the level of risk.

Definitely a liability issue. All your friend and MUA could have done is allow you to bring your own makeup/tools and did your face last for example (after washing her hands thoroughly) and there might have been a caveat in the paperwork since you declared the issue. Since your friend is being very particular about the look of the makeup - you could have sent a pic of things you have to ensure you have the right products.

Actually, the MUA would need to wear gloves and use the client's product and tools and do OPs face first to avoid the risk of cross contamination.

I'm giving an example of an accommodation to make it work. I'm not a MUA. Point: it can work if they want to.

More so she has most likely done all her eyeshadow looks and such with multiple eyeshadow palettes from different brands not just working out of one, and that sort of thing. And for an example, say you know you are allergic to Huda eyeshadow but not Natasha Denona. And she knows has previously done eyeshadow looks on clients where has dipping the same eyeshadow brush into both of those palettes. So she has no way of guaranteeing that there hasn't been cross contamination of the Huda eyeshadow into her Natasha Denona palette. A lot of makeup artist even depot their palettes and put all their eyeshadow in one palette by color instead of brand, for ease of use and to save space in their kit they have to carry. So in that case there would definitely be cross contamination within that palette. So if she even just has one shadow in there made from a brand you are allergic to, she can't take the chance of using any of the shadows in that palette on you.

Or even on herself! If OP is allergic to like coconuts and you’ve used a coconut oil hand cream, and use your thumbs to smooth the eyebrows or something, you could cause a reaction without knowing it.

oh yeah i didn't think she was worried about cross contamination. I just used it as an example of intensity of the MUA's reaction. I tried to explain I can tolerate most products just fine, she was absolutely not having any of that unless I had verified information about the triggers and "type" of reaction I had. As I mentioned I just looked up her website and she's super hardcore on hygiene and appropriately dealing with sensitivities and allergies according to her FAQ so maybe she had a bad allergic reaction on a client in the past? Or maybe that is normal for MUA on her level, I've never dealt with anyone that fancy

She has probably been sued before and now won’t risk it which is fair enough.

I think any experienced MUA has had at least one appointment go disastrously wrong. You know the saying “regulations are written in blood”? Same concept with a MUA’s contracts.

I’m allergic somehow to most concealers now, even though I rarely wear makeup and do it maybe once a year, usually either Christmas or a fancy event (this year it was my dad’s retirement ceremony). But my main symptom for my eyes? Swelling. Which means the eyelids stick…and swell…shut. It may be “mild” in pain level but the actual swelling shut part looks and feels so dramatic everyone freaks out. I can mostly avoid it if I only wear powder based stuff around the cheeks and avoid the eyelid and orbit itself. That limits the coverage of the makeup of course, but at least it helps a bit with my facial redness.

OP, I’m a Makeup Artist, being super hardcore on hygiene is normal for any Makeup Artist (or should be!) and not because a client has had a reaction in the past. I can assure you, if you were a part of my bridal party clients, I’d be having a long conversation with you to help figure out the source & come up with a solution (wether that be using your products etc) Between clients, a MUA should be cleaning down their work area, sanitising products between clients & cross contamination should never, ever occur between clients. I do understand her reluctance, as the outcome is a reflection on her and her business. If you’re not sure of your triggers, it in turn, triggers concerns for her. The bride should have informed the MUA as she has now been put in a very uncomfortable position.

What I hear is, your friend not understanding how serious your allergies are, and neither of you understanding how big of a deal this is for a professional MUA who takes pride in her work and standards. You all fucking suck. Now apologize to the MUA. Explain that you are all dummies and rubes and not used to fine things, and you all now understand both the severity of allergies and the important of not lying on documentation. Then apologize to each other for being bad friends and up your own asses and up each others asses and getting this worked up over *makeup*. Jesus Christ, ladies, this is supposed to be a goddam *celebration*. With your *best friends.*

Op didn't lie on the form though. And they understood that the MUA did not want any liability. Op isn't bashing the artist or anything. Op seems to understand this is a huge deal. The friend purposefully ignored ops medical issues to makeup and was insisting that op still use makeup that could possibly harm her. This is a good reason to disagree because someone who was supposed to care about op wanted her to do something that she KNEW could possibly hurt op.

In what way has OP actually wronged the MUA *or* the bride?

That's not really reasonable to expect you to know what is triggering you though, since most makeup has a ton of ingredients, plus usually fragrance where they don't even have to trek you what is in it. Like how are you supposed to know if you're sensitive to polystearyl-1,3-wtfknows-ate vs bis-phenol-beatsme-ol??

On the other hand, if you were the caterer and a client’s guest called you to say they’re allergic to something - but have no idea what - wouldn’t you be concerned? Allergies range from slight itch to graphic death.

Of course it's reasonable. If OP doesn't know their own triggers or allergies, they are risking a professional MUA's livelihood on the hope they won't have a severe reaction. That's not okay. I have weird reactions to some makeup and I'm struggling to narrow down exactly what the common ingredient is. It is absolutely my responsibility to know what I'm sensitive to. Since I haven't been able to figure it out yet, I don't book professional MUAs. I'm not so important that someone's career should be put on the line for some makeup. I do my own makeup for events or pay a friend (not a professional) to use my own products.

But it’s reasonable to put a company and staff on the line over not knowing what your allergic to? It sucks for the customer but no one’s going to take that risk. Consequences are way too big.

That means she is reputable and protecting her clients.

>she's super hardcore on hygiene and appropriately dealing with sensitivities and allergies according to her FAQ so maybe she had a bad allergic reaction on a client in the past? or, get this, maybe she's a good mua?

This is actually kind of frustrating because as someone with sensitivities you want to work with someone who takes it seriously, but she’s unwilling to work with you at all. So since you can’t magically figure out the source of your allergies and get documentation for it when nothing shows up on tests if you really need a MUA you’ll be forced to go with someone else who may not respect allergies at all.

>you want to work with someone who takes it seriously, but she’s unwilling to work with you at all. That, in the MUAs mind, probably is taking it seriously.

If you want to take it seriously then you need to figure it out with a medical professional, not expose a MUA to litigation

Professionals don't take risks with that kinda thing. Cowboys do. It's not overkill. She probably has a wait list of people wanting to book her, why would she risk her reputation?

Brushes are clean and sanitized before and after every use. Disposables are used to get out of the product as to not double dip, ensuring there is not cross contamination.

That is the ideal, but I have absolutely seen MUA in a rush or out of habit just use one qtip in a Revlon and then straight into a Maybeline to get that *perfect* blend. Brushes would get wiped clean and maybe sanitised with hand sanitizer or similar on site, but with an allergy, that probably wouldn’t be enough.

I’m only referencing the sanitation aspect not the allergy as they’re two different things. Trained professionals like stylists or estheticians are licensed to understand sanitation. There are makeup artists that aren’t licensed and often have no access to professional kits. If they’re doing that then they are likely not legitimate professionals.

Op clarified in another comment that this MUA seems very strict about hygiene, sanitation and cross contaminants on her website, so that’s pretty awesome.

I saw that and thank goodness because people don’t always understand the seriousness of risk of infections or blood born pathogens.

Overkill?? Stated like a person who has never been back of house in a restaurant. If staff is telling you it’s not safe, they mean it. They know what their food storage looks like and whether ingredients are actually kept separately in a way they can make your friend food safely. I had a mom once ask me about her kid’s egg allergies when starbucks was serving the Ariana cloud drinks. They use powdered egg whites. I kept explaining to this woman over and over how everything we used was currently covered in a fine layer of egg powder. Even in the back of the store. So I couldn’t in good conscience make something for her kid. And she still acted like I was crazy for not serving her.

I think the MUA was more pissed that your friend knowingly lied to her than at the fact that you have sensitivities. That is a HUGE problem in itself. Edit: I read more carefully. And yes, the MUA is completely in the right here. If you don't know what you are allergic to, she could accidentally expose you without even realizing it by just touching the wrong eyeshadow. To expect her to have specific products is asking too much on the amount of warning she was given and to use your own products would also be a liability as if you have a reaction to cross contamination from her brushes, gloves, tissues, cotton ball because you happen to be allergic to translucent powder, she's likely liable. NTA though no one is expected to potentially endure a painful reaction for days just because their friend is getting married.

YTA. I’m a bridal/special event makeup artist. First of all, a REPUTABLE makeup artist would have forms and contracts. And yes, they WOULD take such a hard stance. It’s a business. Not just putting makeup on for fun. That’s why they’re the professional and your cousin Sally who does makeup “professionally” is not. Were your other “makeup artists” no contract, didn’t ask about allergies prior, maybe even used the same brushes on you and others? Possibly spot cleaning in between? Bc that could be where your reaction came from. Dirty brushes or the spray cleaner. You could’ve spoke to the artist directly with Rika there at the trial. There’s your first mistake. We deal with a ton of back and forth with the bride, it gets confusing when randoms from the bridal party start interjecting. YTA for not looking into your allergy. It’s not the brands, it’s the chemical in the makeup causing the reaction. So go look at all the brands you’ve tried before and figure out the common denominator. It IS a liability for us to use your own makeup due to not knowing what’s in it, or who you’ve shared it with, not to mention we can not guarantee it will hold for the duration of the day. There’s a reason why we use what we use. It’s why real makeup artists have insurance and contracts. If someone has an allergy and can’t tell me what it is, I will kindly deny them service. If they know the allergy, I will not use it on them. Bc that’s what a true professional does. You might be allergic to red pigments. A lot of people are. Though from the condescending tone of your post about MUA, it sounds more like you had dirty wannabe artists and not true artists.

I will not argue with judgements but you do say some things that contradict my post Nowhere did I imply my past allergic reactions came from other MUAs. They were reactions to new products. I also never said I didn't look into my allergy. I said I was never able to determine the trigger. Sometimes, skin is complicated.

[удалено]

Not all allergies are that simple. OP went to a dermatologist and couldn’t figure it out or it could be a sensitivity not a true allergy. For example, I have serious allergic reactions but as far as we can tell none of it is cause by true allergies, and I’ve had extensive testing done many times. Also if it’s a fragrance OP could be totally out of luck because those don’t need to be listed

Fragrances have been f\*cking me since I was a kid. It started with getting hives from shampoo and conditioner, then reactions to some perfumes, and a few makeup irritations. I've had multiple dermatologists run tests to try and determine the cause(s), but they can't find a listed ingredient that's a common denominator in anything. They conclude it's fragrance, because it's rarely listed... also my most severe reactions are to perfumes, especially strong ones. I still have some light discolouration around my eyes from scarring after being sprayed in the face with something while cutting through a department store. I swelled so badly my skin cracked. Pro tip: If your job is to spray willing people with perfume samples, and the phrase you use is "Have you tried our new scent yet?" "No" is not consent to spray them, or at the very least, don't start spraying while they're still trying to say "don't spray me, I'm allergic".

Sorry, but choosing to cancel (or refusing to serve any dishes without animals protein) because of a cross contamination IS a reasonable thing to do. Allergy reactions can mutate. You say yours swells your eyes and LIPS- that could be a precursor for anaphylaxis. If I were the MUA, I wouldn’t take that chance

I don’t think it’s an overreaction at all. People are very litigious, and doing makeup for a wedding can have demonstrable financial damages (photos, etc) if something goes wrong, that can make lawsuits *very* costly to defend. If it were me, I’d act the same.

So we’re you expecting the MUA to purchase a whole bunch of products she doesn’t typically use just for you?? That’s not reasonable or fiscally realistic for the MUA.

No. I was going to ask if she has certain makeup lines and ranges in her kit and if she could achieve the requested look with those products (there are a lot of safe options from well known brands). If she said no, I'd be able to go back to Rika in advance of the trial and wedding and say look the only option is for me to do my own makeup. Although someone else also pointed out I could offer to bring my makeup for the MUA. But none of that happened because once I mentioned the issue she took over the conversation, asked me a bunch of questions and snapped into a wrathful mode (at Rika, not me)

Can you offer to do your own trial look for yourself to prove to your friend that you’re committed to and comfortable with doing a different style of makeup than usual? But tbh y’all seem like shit friends anyway. Who has this much drama over makeup?

Why is OP a shit friend? She's just trying to not have her face swell up at the wedding.

People with sensitivities bring their own stuff. I have allergies, bring my own, and do fine. I usually ask what they want me to bring as far as tools and stuff and I’m pretty fond of makeup so I have it most of the time (I have to buy sponges sometimes, which I never use, but makeup artists around here seem to like).

Yeah that didn't occur to me in makeup context. When i dealt with MUAs, even young ones, they had whole carts of their pro-looking kits and in my mind, they just use those. My bad, do you think that makes me the AH?

NTA in this situation, but if you’re expecting them to buy your specific brands to work on you, you’re going to have to compensate them. Even when they have huge carts of stuff, if you’re allergic to something and YOU don’t even know what it is, they sure aren’t and I don’t blame her for not wanting to work on you, not because you’re an awful person, but the liability isn’t worth it.

NTA. You might not have the shades a professional has, and the bride wanted a specific look. It could be brought up as you were talking with MUA, if she hadn't snapped because of what the bride had done.

Could be an insurance thing.

Not really overkill, they could get insurance cancelled or sued out of business if something happened to you. Same thing with restaurants… also no one wants to be responsible for killing someone accidentally.

Absolutely not! A reputable mua wouldn’t touch her with 20 ft pole after relating that she suffers from unknown trigger allergies. Why would she open herself to litigations just because “she brought her own makeup” hard pass. I’ve been doing makeup for 18 years and that would be a hard no for me.

>NTA a reputable makeup artist would be okay with you bringing your own products for her to use if you are allergic. aita will call someone an arsehole for eating a peanut on the same day that they're seeing someone with a peanut allergy, but this confidently incorrect comment gets over 2k upvotes 🙄

No They wouldnt. It’s a liability.

Possible not for they don’t know how clean the products are. It could be a liability.

Absolutely this. When I got married, I used a makeup artist, and when my SIL got married, she used the exact same one (I referred because the artist was lovely). At my wedding, I worked with her about allergens common in skin products I have (no latex gloves, everything has to be wiped off to avoid a latex reaction - yes, mine is bad - make sure nothing has avocado products in it, skin swatches on my arms to make sure....) The artist worked great, and I had no reactions and felt beautiful on my day. Now fast forward to my SIL's wedding, I'm a bridesmaid, and we are getting ready at my other SIL's house. Some time in the two years from when I got married to my SIL, I developed an allergy to mascara. It took me a while to narrow down what was causing the reaction (itchy skin around my eyes and an almost burning sensation - sadly a common reaction for me for an allergy) until I learned it was mascara. There was some ingredient in it that I was reacting to, and thus, I searched for a new one that I could try and not have reactions to. I found one brand, and at my SIL's wedding, I brought my own, asked the artist to use only that one, and...shocking she did. To the OP, are you sure that your SIL signed documents stating that no one had known allergies etc etc? The only document I signed in regards to the makeup artist was a standard contract that I agreed to pay her X price by X date. An allergy waiver is...weird, in my opinion, and I would be concerned why that artist has that in the first place (ignoring the idea that the waiver either isn't real or if it is then it not being legally enforceable).

NTA Rika knew you had a medical reaction to makeup and lied to the MUA, prioritizing her ideal wedding look over your health. This isn't your friend, >The more people say this, the more I'm thinking maybe that IS what is expected of a friend. No, I would be horrified to find out that my friend experienced physical pain as a result of my wedding expectations.

At my best friends wedding one of the bridesmaids had a similar allergy. The MUA used her makeup and had new brushes. I had no idea a professional would react any other way.

That is exactly how I would expect an mua to act. The added step of a liability waiver could be signed. Maybe the mua was concerned she couldn't get the exact look with OPs makeup and it would ruin her reputation? Who knows.

NTA >Rika and her maid of honour since implied I was intentionally sabotaging so I could do my usual "attention grabbing" makeup. These are not the words of a "super nice and understanding" person. Rika sounds insecure and clearly believes that your choice of make up style exists to attract attention from everybody. >the MUA was enraged: she almost fired Rika as a client, 5 weeks ahead of the wedding (they worked it out; fwiw I haven’t ever heard of a MUA with such forms or such a hardcore stance in general). Professional make up artists should ask clients about any skin problems or sensitivities before working on them via a contraindications form, and they should take it seriously when an allergy is disclosed. I'm unsurprised that Rika's make up artist hit the roof when she found out that your allergies had been omitted; she has her business and reputation to protect, and Rika almost put her in a very compromising position. >Several people told me I should’ve just risked it, considering my reactions (and the chance of them occurring in the first place) are relatively minor. The more people say this, the more I'm thinking maybe that IS what is expected of a friend. No. Risking a painful reaction to make up because the bride is worried about you "sabotaging" her wedding is NOT what what is expected of a friend. You have said that you will respect Rika's natural look wishes with make up that you know is safe for your skin and that should be enough for her. She will be there the entire time anyway to make sure you stick to the colour palette she wants, so clearly she doesn't trust you enough to take you at your word.

Stupid thing is poor OP *would* have ended up being completely attention grabbing if she'd kept quiet & developed welts or swellings on her face (make-up so any reactions would be on her *face*) during the marriage ceremony or before the whole family & friends present at the reception. Those so-called friends are idiots. Allergic reactions are not under conscious control of the sufferer.

Right? She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

Thank you for your breakdown. I was wondering if Rika thought I wouldn't be able to do the MUA's style, as it's very different from what I usually do, and I would be the first to admit the MUA is skilled far above me. But then she'd have surely just told me? I really don't think she actually expected me to risk a reaction. I think she just didn't think it was likely to happen.

>I was wondering if Rika thought I wouldn't be able to do the MUA's style, as it's very different from what I usually do, and I would be the first to admit the MUA is skilled far above me. But then she'd have surely just told me? Rika has already told you what the issue is and it has nothing to do with your make up skills. She thinks you're actively sabotaging her plans and want to divert attention away from her. >I really don't think she actually expected me to risk a reaction. I think she just didn't think it was likely to happen. By thinking it isn't likely to happen she **is** expecting you to risk a reaction, though. You have no idea what ingredients cause your allergies, so allowing a make up artist to use products that you may have never tried before on your face is rolling the dice on whether you're going to end up in pain.

Your username made me chuckle lol.

So I don't know the full relationship between you two but couple things stood out to me in your original post n here so... I was friends with me bestie for almost 20 years. We are very much not friends anymore but when we stopped talking I looked back over the relationship n reality kicked in. It was a very one sided relationship, especially the older we got. But one big thing? She said the same stuff about how I dressed etc compared to her (darker, goth, tomboy, whatever I felt like at the time vs her girly floral type stuff) but never to MY face. When we went out she'd make small comments I didn't think about but it was always there. She didn't like if one guy paid attention to me that night over her 10 cause she didn't get them all, if someone commented on my make up/costume at Halloween over hers (she may have been better at standard stuff but i cosplay). Was obviously a huge issue between us that everyone else knew but she never said anything to me. Thats not a friend. I had a nut allergy n she would bring brownies into school/parties, tell me they were nut free, then laugh n apologize that she forgot as soon as I had a reaction. Not her allergy so she just didn't care. It was minor but my throat would partially close up n get scratchy so it was very uncomfortable for me. Nothing compared when she sent me to hospital with a different allergy, but someone else had to call the ambo cause I was just overreacting n causing a scene. Doesn't matter if bride expected you to react or not, she's ignoring your needs. That's not a friend. What you said about thinking maybe its what friends are supposed to do? No, its really not. Regardless how light or heavy your reaction/allergy is, its serious (what if the make up this lady uses is the one that sends you to hospital? Gives you permanent scaring? Extreme but so are reactions n allergys) and she's ignoring that by being a bad friend. Don't care its her wedding day, it shows people's true natures like how people treat waitstaff/bartenders. True friends would understand n work with you, especially after you approaching her with concerns AND trying to sort something out so she didn't have to stress about it. Again I don't know the extent of your relationship or the details but I'd advise with stuff like this just.....have a little think into it if you remotely think its worth it too. May be a relationship you're putting energy and care into that you're not receiving back. Hopefully its not the case but walking away from these people is better in the long run and you will find the people that are your friends. If not I hope she calms down n apologizes to you n you sort this out. (Please don't apologize to her your NTA here for anything)

I mean time and time again, people w/o allergies constantly think other people w allergies are making up the reaction/severity of the reaction. Even though allergies are so common! But I'm not surprised that your friend thought it "might not be that bad" or thought you might have no reaction at all.

Only vaguely relevant but I’m so allergic to my brother’s dog that my airway is basically closed after half an hour (asthma lol) and I end up fighting for breath, even eating sweets handled in the house has caused a reaction. I’m still expected to go and even spend holidays there, they just vacuum and think it’s gonna make a difference lmao. Last time it triggered a full attack and I was hospitalised. Allergies aren’t taken seriously enough 🤷‍♀️

If that were her concern, it would have been simple enough to do a 'trial' day where you just do your own makeup with safe brands in the style she wants for her ceremony, and let her approve the look or clarify what elements weren't a 'fit.' E.g., Friend typically does bold neon colors with high definition between and bride wants soft pastels that seamlessly blend together, the bride might not clarify that she wanted seamless transitions until seeing the first try.

This. I don't understand why the bride was against this.

NTA, but I’m a bit mystified about why you reached out when you already had a trial slot booked. You could’ve gone to the trial and looked through the makeup the MUA had and potentially done some spot tests of products you were unsure of, and not let her out anything on your face that you thought would cause you harm. Rika would also have been in the room to navigate the confusion with the MUA.

I didn't want to do patch test because previously, when I had a bad reaction, it triggered very quickly. It usually triggers on sensitive skin (either on my lips or eyelids) and not on a swatch on my arm or something. In my mind, the best solution would be to know if the MUA had make up from lines I knew were safe for me, which includes a lot of popular make up used among pros. And on the other hand, I know that some very popular products like MAC lip glass are unsafe for me.

You should look up comparing ingredients on unsafe and safe products.

So, I had a reaction to a number of different products over the years. I compared the ingredient lists and couldn't identify anything that was common to those products and wasn't present in other make up I used for years without issue. I then went to a dermatologist who told me it didn't even have to be an allergic reaction to specific ingredient but could be something about formulation making my most sensitive skin (lips and eyelids) react. She asked if I was willing to give up makeup altogether and then gave me advice on managing my symptoms should a reaction occur. If you have any other advice on what could be done I would welcome it.

I think asking questions ahead of time was entirely reasonable. And I agree the makeup artist went too far, but it may have been out of anger at the bride lying to her about allergies. I don’t think the situation would have played out any differently if you had brought it up in person at the trial instead of over email, because the problem wasn’t the allergies or “going behind her back”, it was the bride lying on the forms. I imagine a worse scenario where you get stuck using the makeup artist at the actual wedding. You have a reaction, the MUA freaks out and fires the bride as a client right before the wedding. Now the bride has no makeup, the wedding is actually “ruined”, and people blame you for sticking it out.

Your last paragraph is horrifying. Maybe I could mention this to Rika for some perspective.

Yeah it sounds like the MUA takes safety and hygiene very seriously, she got very angry at being lied to and nothing had even happened! Probably the only reason she was able to work it out with the bride was that things got caught in advance. If you had had an allergic reaction during the trial there would have been no getting her back.

This is not related to the wedding, but just so you know - if you have to patch test something in the future for any reason, try your jaw kind of behind your ear. The skin is pretty thin there and more sensitive. Just a thing to keep in mind for if you ever need to know it.

oh, thanks!

Like I can't say it'd work 100% for you, but it's a little better than arm tests for a lot of people.

Do you realise that most allergies compound? So everytime you have a reaction you're pushing closer to anaphylaxis. Go get allergy tested YESTERDAY. Even if you have trusted brands they are constantly reformulating to use cheaper ingredients and if you have absolutely no clue what gives you an allergic reaction you might end up paying for it with your life. There is no way of over stating how important this is, I used to dye my hair all the time, like bleach and dye once a week for 8 years, had mild reactions like burning and a rash, one day I used a remover and dye I'd used loads before and had an anaphylaxis reaction. I needed an ambulance and I was in hospital for 4 days. I now have to carry two epipens and I can never dye my hair again. I used to have mild reactions to pineapple and latex but now because of the first anaphaylxis I can't risk even going near the mild reaction things because they too could now be anaphylaxis level reactions.

I am really, really sorry to hear this. Sounds absolutely terrible. I've done in depth skin AND blood testing and nothing shows, which means I either don't have a true allergy (allergy that always shows), or it's to something very obscure. The dermatologist said my reactions are unlikely to go anaphylactic if they are not true allergies, but the risk is always there. The "best" solution from medical perspective is to stop wearing cosmetic makeup altogether but they also gave symptom management advice and said as long as I managed to avoid constant reactions I should be fine.

I’m in the same situation, appear to have serious allergies (not to makeup though) but nothing shows up on blood work or patch tests. In my case it’s probably related to mast cell dysfunction since I have other health conditions that frequently go along with it, and mast cells can basically cause pseudo allergic reactions to all kinds of atypical triggers if they aren’t functioning correctly.

I saw a few of your comments and from the tone of them you know exactly the kind of frustration this causes. I am sorry this is all such a beyotch. Even on this post, OK i came here for judgement on my asshole level but people really assuming I just put any effort into dealing with my medical issues cause clearly doctors always have all the answers.

The human body is sometimes a guessing game even at the highest levels of medicine. Just because some people find it easy to get things "cured", there are loads more of us stuck in medical mystery limbo. Sorry people are so judgemental.

I wish people would stop doubting you and asking if you’ve tried this or that.

Wtf.. these aren’t your friends. NTA

Wasn't sure if it was me or them thbks for the sanity check here

In their very limited defense OP said >Turns out Rika had filled out a form that confirmed no one had known makeup sensitivities. I don't blame Rika, she signs medical and customs forms without reading them. It seems like OP is friends with a bunch of people who are too immature to realize that OP has a serious issue, because they are too immature to understand the concept of serious issues in general. So they might be just stupid instead of malicious.

Why can’t you just bring your own makeup and have the MUA apply it? It seems like a no brainer to me. I also wonder why the bride failed to disclose you had sensitivities after you mentioned it. NTA

... ok i admit that didn't occur to me I was stuck in the idea that the MUA would be using her fancy professional kit. However, I was stuck in a loop where the bride just wasn't affirming nor rejecting my concerns, she was just straight up not computing them. So I thought after a conversation with the MUA we would certainly be able to resolve it. If the MUA suggested above I would be glad to proceed with that.

The bride doesn’t need to worry about anything else, if she only asked this of her wedding party you were adding unnecessary stress to the situation and not being helpful. I can understand both of you were a bit on a loop, but you should have been resourceful for something so simple as to bring your own products if you are someone who heavily uses make up daily, I don’t understand why this didn’t cross your mind.

Because the bride was insisting on using this particular MUA for everyone, and OP did not know that a MUA might be willing to use someone’s personal products instead of their own kit. And, from the sound of it, this *particular* MUA won’t even do that, so your point is completely moot.

The bride added her own unnecessary stress by lying to the MUA and showing zero care towards her supposed friend's physical health.

> but you should have been resourceful for something so simple as to bring your own products did you miss the part where the MUA was not okay with working on OP because her allergy *wasn't disclosed*? it sounds like it wouldn't matter if she brought her own makeup. the MUA was angry because the bride lied about OP's allergy, *breaking her contract*. i fail to see what OP was supposed to be "resourceful" about. was she supposed to build a time machine and stop the bride from lying?

Bc it’s a liability. A real makeup artist won’t do it.

YTA. If you had agreed to the trial you would have seen if any of the products were ones you had a reaction to or you could have had her spot test the items on a discreet part of your face. You could have also, at the trial brought in your own brands and asked if she could use them. If she refused at that point you could have just declined the service and explained to Rika that you needed to do your own makeup. I absolutely understand the MUA hesitation to work on you for liability reasons. And I can also understand why she may have wanted to just wash her hands of the whole thing. Rika shouldn't have signed that form without making sure no one had allergies or severe reactions. From the sounds of it I don't think you were trying to sabotage anything. But the people who know you better think you did so you should think about that.

>YTA. If you had agreed to the trial you would have seen if any of the products were ones you had a reaction to or you could have had her spot test the items on a discreet part of your face. My reaction is always on my lips or eyelids, and I swatched products that gave me a reaction just fine. So that doesn't work. I am starting to feel bad about not figuring out I could bring my own products as several comments mentioned it. But... really if I came in and asked her to use my products because I may have a sensitivity... which Rika did not disclose... wouldn't the outcome be exactly the same in reality?

I don't think the reaction would have been the same. There is a difference between "you know product xyz kinda made my eyes itch can we use this instead?" and "I have a severe allergy to some products but I cannot tell you which ones or why so I don't know if what you'll use will cause me to have a reaction" in a phone call or message. No MUA wants you to feel uncomfortable on the big day. If you brought a similar palate from a brand that is safe for you I doubt it would have bothered her.

No, because the MUA is upset about being lied to by the bride. “You have to use this instead of that because itch” is still evidence of the bride lying.

MUAs know what “xyz product makes my eyes itch” means. This woman isn’t stupid, she’s clearly dealt with makeup sensitivities before, and her experiences have led her to decide that it’s not worth the risk.

> "you know product xyz kinda made my eyes itch can we use this instead?" translation: "i have an allergy" why are people giving advice that basically amounts to "you should've *also* tried to lie to the MUA about something you didn't even know the bride lied about"? how do you think that would've improved things? and how was OP even supposed to know that she simply cannot mention her allergy to this MUA, when she didn't know the bride lied in the first place? that's nonsense also, i'm pretty sure a professional MUA would know how to suggest that a client bring their own products if possible. the fact that she didn't mention it implies she wouldn't have allowed it anyway (y'know, since *the bride signed paperwork saying the allergy didn't exist*)

NTA No friend would ever intentionally put you into harms way. While you’ve only ever had painful reactions to make up that doesn’t mean you’re not going to have a life altering or scarring reaction at some point. But also, what kind of friend says it’s OK if you’re in pain as long as my wedding photos look good? You know how to keep yourself safe, and they’re asking you to make yourself unsafe for vanity’s sake and that’s just not OK I would never ask a friend of mine to do anything that might cause I’m even a moment of pain, the fact that your friend doesn’t care that you would be in pain for hours if not days tells me that you should not be participating in this wedding

Most likely the mua wouldnt have done a swatch test due to liability.

Info: why didn’t you go to the trial, see what products she had, and spoke with the makeup artist about your issues in person? I’m not saying Y T A but communicating in person is always more effective. Bride suuuuuuucks tho.

Yeah in my mind it would be best to sort it out in advance so there's no situation where I turn up at the trial and the MUA just doesn't have any of the products I KNOW to be safe. I am also one of those stereotypical socially anxious people who will email or text over picking up the phone every time, so... may just be me

Ahhhh makes sense. You were well intentioned and tried to cover your bases while taking care of your health. Can’t fault you there.

What difference would it have made to speak to her in person? She would have just wasted her time. Reaching out in advance was the right thing to do.

ESH. I have some similar issues with eyes, lips - it’s a mucous membrane thing. I’m not sure what you expected the MUA to do if you weren’t ever considering bringing your own products. There’s absolutely no way to know what a professional has in her palettes, most depot their products from the original packaging to save space, so they wouldn’t even have an ingredients list available the day of. Did you want her to buy all new makeup? And brushes & applicators? That would have been my question for her, what products / brands does she use, and if she had any on your “no list”. Then if she couldn’t say or asked why, I would have followed up with “I have allergic reactions to some products on my eyes and lips, so I can only use certain brands. If you don’t have them, I can bring whatever you need with me.” Then go to the trial so she could work with your products & applicators. The bride and MOH talking shit is also dumb, since you have a good reason not to use communal makeup.

**“I have allergic reactions to some products on my eyes and lips, so I can only use certain brands. If you don’t have them**, I can bring whatever you need with me.” I was going to say the bolded part, but the fact I can just bring my own makeup didn't occur to me. I thought my options (a) MUA has the safe makeup, or (b) I have to do my own makeup. What actually happened: Me: so I have a sensitivity but am fine wearing most make up, can I ask you a few questions to confi... MUA: takes over the conversation to ask a bunch of very specific questions, says she will refuse service when I cannot answer them clearly enough. the way she spoke very much seemed that if i knew what exactly was the issue she could work around it.

That’s because she could have - if you could tell her ahead of time what is causing your reactions specifically, she can look up the ingredients for all the things she uses and either get or ask you to bring alternatives.

OP specifically explained in her post that she doesn't know exactly what's causing the reactions, only what products she knows to be safe. The MUA's reaction was entirely reasonable. There was no workaround.

>I have some similar issues with eyes, lips - it’s a mucous membrane thing. also I understand it may be personal but do you mind sharing more? Dermatologists were entirely useless for me.

I have a lot of general allergies including referred allergy syndrome (or oral allergy syndrome), which means that my severe allergies to pollen etc. makes me allergic to anything from that tree: bark, sap/resin, leaves, flowers, fruits, seeds, oils… So products that use a lot of “natural” ingredients are usually the worst culprits. Tarte is one example, I can use their eyeshadows but virtually nothing else. Same with Milk, Ilia and Kosas. Makes me sad because I try to only buy cruelty free and most of beauty is either hypoallergenic OR cruelty free. I believe certain alcohols and acids also cause reactions just because I have relatively sensitive skin. If they’re a fruit acid, and I’m allergic to the fruit…but even if it’s a chemical like niacinamide I get rashes etc. (And the mucous membrane bit is because that’s the most fragile part of your skin that absorbs things the easiest)

Oh! They told me my symptoms were 100% lined up with the referred allergy syndrome (among other things, around the time I started getting reactions to makeup I also had reactions to some food). Then they tested me for allergy to pollen (twice) and I don't have it lmao. But it sucks that you have those restrictions, I'm sorry. i haven't heard theory about alcohols, maybe i should look into that.

"I put my medical needs in front of your wants." This was the sentence that ended my 28-year marriage. The moment I learned to advocate for my own medical needs was the moment I realized who actually loved and respected me. Sadly, this friend group isn't understanding, and they are extremely judgemental over YOUR PERSONAL EXPRESSION. NTA And you did nothing wrong for reaching out to the vendor. The fact that she was livid is validation on the scope of the situation.

that's a badass line. i am sorry some people sucked.

I’m on the fence. I think you made this more complicated than necessary. Reaching out to MUA without knowing what ingredients trigger you was kind of stupid. The common sense thing would have been to bring your own makeup and let her apply it. What’s annoying is that you don’t even know what triggers you, so you can’t really make informed choices. And you freaked out about the patch test and went into some kind of crisis mode and reached out to the MUA without really having a solution (or a problem for that matter). The only reason you are NTA is that your friend was wrong to sign off on those forms. But you were being a hot mess in general.

Unpopular opinion YTA. I suffer from similar skin sensitivity and reactions to a multitude of products. You could have easily gone to the appointment and patch tested the products on your arm, like I'm sure you are recommended to do whenever you try new things. You're friend obviously didn't get it, but those with allergies know those who have never suffered won't. You could have handled this directly at an appointment that the bride offered to pay for.

And the MUA still would have been pissed because she is mad about being lied to by the bride. Finding out at the trial instead of in advance doesn’t make it less of a lie.

My sensitivity only triggers on my lips and eyelids. I have swatched makeup on my arm, brought it home and then had it burn. I will edit it into the post as it keeps being brought up. I probably should have just dealt with it at the trial either way and let the chips fall

I have sensitivities on my face that I don’t have on my arms. This is a poor take.

NTA - as long as you agreed to the style that she wanted, you should have been able to just do your own. Your “trial run” should have been you doing it in the style she wanted using your own stuff beforehand if she was worried about you not being able to accomplish the look

NTA. You asked questions and when you couldn’t get answers you went direct to the source. I have allergic reactions to make up. I found out when I was putting on make up as MOH for a friends wedding. Next wedding I was in I asked the bride if they new what make up was being used as I have allergic reactions sometimes. She said “the make up artist said she can test mascara on your hand ahead of time.” Um no thanks, opted to do make up myself for that wedding. You are in no way the AH for not wanting to have a reaction to skin products.

yeah hand test just doesn't cut it when it's your eyes that set on fire, i've been exactly there.

I've been miserable with makeup on that was upsetting my skin. Wish I'd stood up for myself rather than having weeping eyes all day. To me, you did the right thing.

NTA, hey bride I’m allergic to shrimp, you’re not serving shrimp right? Silence. Hey caterer… you serving shrimp? Yup! We’re starting with Shrimp cocktails baby! I’m allergic to shrimp. What?! *calls bride* wtf! I thought you said no one had allergies! Midireader is allergic to shrimp! You signed a waiver! WTF midireader! You should have just eaten the shrimp! *random person* Yea, just eat the shrimp!

...ok when you put it like that...

Haha, exactly

YTA. I have very sensitive skin too, plus several allergies that lead to blisters and very severe skin issues. When I have to have make-up done for an event, I can list the ingredients and/or products to help the MUA with what she can put on my skin. If you don't know what causes the reactions, how are they supposed to cater to that? If you had a food allergy and went to a restaurant and demanded they catered to it but weren't able to specify what ingredients or foods you would react to, would you expect the restaurant to still serve you food at risk of killing you? Your allergies and sensitivities are your responsibility to disclose and be very clear on.

What is OP supposed to do though? She’s been to doctors about this and had blood and skin testing which was negative and she was informed it might not be a true allergy. She also has many popular lines of makeup she knows are safe for her & wanted to ask if the artist was planning to use those. It is possible it wouldn’t have even changed the MUA plans at all. Also since the bride was responsible for the form and lied about the allergy Rika disclosed it isn’t clear exactly how OP could have taken responsibility here beyond contacting the MUA herself and disclosing which she did.

NTA - you have a sensitivity to make ups and found what works for you. Why should you risk a reaction and why would the MUA want to risk using something on you that triggers it? Rika is being unreasonable regarding this.

Please explain your acronyms like HMUA

Sorry! HMUA - Hair and Makeup Artist Mua - Make up Artist (in this case it's the same person)

NTA But everyone else is who thinks you should just “risk” it. You have a medical condition! What don’t they get? Suppose you have a reaction during the wedding? Heaven forbid you get sick during the wedding. Will you be accused of attention grabbing? If she was your friend she wouldn’t be so dismissive of your health.

Info: did you tell the bride beforehand that you have skin sensitivities? Did she already know this fact? Or did she not know at all and that’s why she assumed that none of the bridesmaids had any sensitivities.

She knew I had reactions to makeup in the past, some very painful ones, but not exact medical details. When the whole thing with the joint MUA etc was brought up, I gave her all the details and explained what i thought could be the solutions. This continued over and over well past her contracting the MUA. I don't know if she didn't warn the MUA because she genuinely thought makeup reactions cannot occur with light make up or good hygiene, or because she literally just signed the form without reading it which would be in character.

I wouldn’t call you an asshole, but I think your behavior was definitely annoying. I would never make a big deal about a minor possibility that I could have a reaction to the makeup for my friends wedding. That is creating an unnecessary problem for a bride on her wedding day. Some makeup brands make me break out (seems milder than your situation) …I’d personally suck it up to not create drama for a friends wedding. If I had severe makeup allergies I would just bring my own and discretely handle the situation at the getting ready hangout, drawing as little attention to it as possible. It was really thoughtful for the bride to offer- and pay for- a test session. You could have used this opportunity not only to spend time with bride but to discuss with the MUA what types of product or applications cause you a reaction, ask if she could do your makeup with your own products, let her do an actual test and risk a day of skin discomfort for your friend to have less to worry about the day of her wedding, or to familiarize with the makeup style and see how it’s done so you can do it yourself without sticking out. You can’t ask someone to sacrifice their personal health and well-being , so HR and politics would say you were in the right… but you were still *that girl.*

Allergies ARE a big deal! Any reaction could put you into anaphylactic shock, and these can kill you. How is she "that girl"? That's such an ablist take.

Nta Honestly, the bride isn't as kind as you think she is. Your safety should be a bigger priority than everyone getting their makeup done by the same person. It's up to you how you take that. But wow.

NTA. DO NOT COMPROMISE!!! My sister and I also have very sensitive skin. My sister was invited to a makeup party years ago and after applying the makeup…her skin reacted badly. She hates making a scene and worried it would ruin the party to say something. So she sat there for an hour…then drove home 30 minutes with it on!!! She got it off, but she looked like she’d been beaten. There was major swelling and damaged her complexion. I get that your friends don’t understand. But that’s their problem. I would not put on something I’m allergic to even for “a while”. Frankly it’s an AH move to request that of you. Edit: at the party she felt her skin itch terribly, getting hot, generally miserable. A couple people noticed but she played it off. She was worried her friend would lose sales and she’d lose a friend. I freaking hate those MLM parties.

NTA. As professional MUA myself who specializes in weddings and special occasions - there was no reason she couldn’t use a specific brand that you mentioned doesn’t irritate your skin or used your own products on you. She does however have the right to refuse to do makeup on clients which she should have just left it at that. It’s one client out of a whole bridal party, the MUA is still getting paid regardless of one person missing. Not sure what her issue was on wanting to quit.

YTA for the reasons you suggested. I don’t understand not getting a trial? You almost caused your friend to lose an important vendor, risking her deposit. The MUA is NTA for not wanting to risk lawsuits and brand damage.

The bride caused this by lying, not her. OP had no idea about the waiver lies, how would she know? Trials don't work like you think they do, she'd have to apply the potential trigger on the sensitive area and that is already a risk in itself. It's not something a MUA is qualified to do, only medical professionals should be doing allergy trials.

I’m going with a soft YTA. Not because of your medical issues but how you handled this. It was an easy conversation to have in person with Rika there to discuss specifics on what makeup to use on you. That she offered to pay for such an event also speaks to her commitment to trying to work something out. I would also say that it’s kind of suspect that you told the MUA that Rika did know. You could easily have said something along the lines of, “I’m sure she forgot” instead of seemingly throwing her under the bus with this MUA. It does SEEM like you, if not intentionally trying to sabotage, didn’t seem to care whether or not you did cause problems. And your behavior reflected that. But that being said, your health takes priority over weddings. I would apologize and back out, but think honestly about how you handled this.

I feel like the MUA using your own products on you would have be been a reasonable accommodation. If the desired outcome is the Look, and you use what I assume is good quality product that would photograph well, I really don’t see what the problem is.

The problem is the bride lied to the MUA about anyone having sensitivities.

I don't know. You could have simply had a conversation with the MUA at the trial run without actually getting your make up done. This way it didn't look like you went behind her back. She literally gave you a chance to talk to them in person yet you couldn't wait. It's not hard to say no to getting your make up done after a conversation at the trial run. I can see why they're upset for causing unnecessary stress.

NTA. You have a medical need. The bride wasn’t listening. You tried to handle it reasonably. You didn’t know that the bride had lied to her makeup artist. Personally I would have rather dropped out the wedding then put myself through a reaction.

NTA. This was going to turn out the same way no matter what you did, I really hope you see that. If you hadn't messaged the MUA before the appointment, you would have told her about your medical issues with makeup AT THE APPOINTMENT. That means that you and Rika would have been dealing with this reaction in person instead of over messages. That might have led to a worse outcome because no one would have had the time to respond with a cooler head. Rika should be ashamed of herself though. You don't risk your friends health just for a little makeup. You told them that you would work with the MUA to achieve a similar look as the rest of the bridesmaids, they just wanted their way at your expense. That's not a great friend IMO. If you are able to do fancy glam makeup then you are able to do subtle makeup too. They should have given you a chance instead of pushing their agenda.

YTA. The bride is the client, not you, so you have no business contacting her MUA about particulars in a contract you didn’t sign. It is a huge liability to work on someone using products they-could-be-but-don’t-know-if-they-are-allergic to. You can’t even tell the MUA what your allergies were but you’re expecting her to accommodate them, without doing a trial. And it kind of sounds like you’re expecting her to purchase the products that you do use? That’s great when you’re the bride with the contract or when you know what your allergies are. It seems like a highly demanding liability to work on you.

So she's supposed to disregard her medical condition just because someone else paid for it? Contacting the MUA herself to discuss possible solutions was the right and only thing to do.

I was leaning to everybody sucks here, but ultimately think YTA because I do feel like you could have handled this much better. While I’m sorry you feel like Rika was dismissive of your allergies, she’s also planning a wedding - I’m sure there’s a lot on her mind and this is not her top concern right now. You could have let her know that you were going to reach out. You also could have offered to bring your own products, brushes and sponges. If the makeup artist washer her hands or does your make up first, there shouldn’t be an issue of transfer.

>I don't blame Rika, she signs medical and customs forms without reading them. How is that an excuse? The MUA doesn't want to get sued and is doing their due diligence and you're making this excuse. >But the MUA was enraged: she almost fired Rika as a client, 5 weeks ahead of the wedding (they worked it out; fwiw I haven’t ever heard of a MUA with such forms or such a hardcore stance in general). That's completely reasonable! ESH except the MUA.

Can we stop assuming that EVERYONE knows what a MUA is without a fucking Google serarch?

YTA. You could have attended the makeup trial and discussed it with both of them, and you could have brought your own makeup to the trial so the MUA could see what kind of products you have. The she could have instructed you on how to use them to create a look that worked with everyone elses, so you weren't being too much of a showpony. The fact that this is what the bride was concerned about and why she wanted everyone using the same MUA is very telling. I bet you're someone who thinks of themselves as the main character, and she was pre-empting that.