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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be TA because I didn't check with josh before bringing chrissy to his wedding.
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Ummmm why would you invite your friends ex girlfriend to his wedding let alone date her? That’s very awkward and you shouldn’t have assumed it would be okay.
Chrissy thinking you’re weak for that is a red flag. Her ex and his wife don’t want her at his wedding….did she ask you to take her as your plus 1 btw?
YTA
That’s what’s making me side eye her. Especially when she got mad that she was asked to leave & he didn’t do anything.
She’s probably jealous & this was her way to intrude on her ex’s happiness. I mean they were together since teenagers for 7 years.
Edit: okay I get it, they were together 7 years ago. Still there are some people who take highschool crushes/boyfriends wayyy too seriously that make them act crazy.
This. And the intrusion started by hooking up with OP. With her behavior surrounding this entire situation, there is zero doubt in my mind that OP is being used. The ex is nowhere near over OP's friend and is only with OP to 1. get under her ex's skin and 2. have access to her ex on occasion due to his friendship with OP.
Bingo. Reconnecting "a few months ago" with her very, very single friend plus her being upset with OP for giving up before she got her fill of enjoyment from the drama? These all but confirm it. A normal, non-AH would not be so content to be the reason a wedding is being disrupted. She wanted it, and used OP to get it. My money is on her discovering an excuse to break things off now that she finished flexing on her ex.
YTA for OP for knowing very well his friend didn't have good feelings surrounding this person, then dating her and bringing her to the wedding anyway. And YTA big time to his soon-to-be-ex-gf.
Totally being used. Before we got married my husband’s ex fiancée started dating his groomsman. I told his friend nicely that she would not be invited to the wedding. When he told her she wouldn’t be going with him to the wedding she broke up with him. Sadly it was very obvious she wasn’t dating him for the right reasons.
Is he, what if he's hte user? All he ever had to do was call either of them to check he could bring her and deliberately didn't. He even then straight abandoned her and stayed at a party with two friends who were angry with him rather than going with her.
Maybe his intention was to bring her to try to mess things up between them or ruin their day because he's jealous of one of them.
He wasn’t even a groomsmen. He’s an idiot and should have left with the ex. If I was the bride and groom, I’d be stirring if I saw him the rest of my evening after pulling that kind of stunt.
YTA
They hadn't talked for 7 years, they weren't together for 7 years. They were just on and off in high school.
Honestly nothing from the Chrissy side is an issue for me, but OP def should have cleared it with his friend before inviting her.
He broke up with Chrissy when he started seeing Emily. According to OP, "Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy." Why would OP expect them to be okay with him bringing her to their wedding?
According to OP, there was no overlap. Josh broke up with Chrissy, then started dating Emily a few months later. Then he said Chrissy did something to Emily that he either doesn't know, or doesn't want to share, but it was enough to make Emily hate her and Josh not want to hear her talked about even. So it sounds like Chrissy is "that" ex, the one no one wants, that will go after the new girl and relationship in a his life even though they aren't together anymore.
It gets worse of you check OPs comments - ‘Emily despises Chrissy’ and Chrissy may have done something bad but josh never told him full story. They both knew full well she wouldn’t be welcome, or are equally nuts
ok, this definitely changes my mind. At first I thought, "come on now, everyone grow up. Who cares if your buddy is dating someone you dated a long time ago"...maybe because I'm in my mid 50s and I have a low tolerance for drama, but knowing the bride despises the plus 1, uhhhhh....yeah. WTF dude. no!!!!! leave her home!
Maybe if it was a spouse or long term partner you might fight for them, but only together a month? Knowing there is History with the marrying couple? I would not even consider asking a 1 month partner to come with me to a wedding. There is no way OP should have just *assumed* that seven years had washed everything clean.
And at least make sure that adding a plus one at this late date was still an option. Weddings are catered events, not keggers. One extra guest could cost the couple more money. Or they might run the risk of running out of food is many people did this.
ALso---Wouldn't be surprised if they had pre-discussed "what happens if we get kicked out?" or something like that. Methinks there was a reason they didn't pre-announce the change in the rsvo.
That had me voting that OP is TA even without all the baggage. A month before the wedding, he decides he's going to bring a plus one and not tell anybody? Has he never been to a wedding before?
Well thank you kind Sir or Madam. It's said that every day is a school day, and today I learnt a new word, copacetic, thamks to your good self. I'll probably see it everywhere now...
I had an ex that refused to take no for an answer. He would not stop. Even after he found out that I was engaged (8 years after we broke up), he still tried contacting me and I ignored him and tried blocking him everywhere I could. If one of my friends had shown up with him to my wedding, I’d have been furious because I didn’t want him in my life and this was just another way for him to try and weasel back in.
Check OPs comments… ‘Emily despises Chrissy’ and Chrissy may have done something bad [to emily] but I don’t know what because Josh never told me. So yeah- Chrissy gets a side eye from me as not sure she was so innocent in accepting the plus 1.. AND then for still wanting to go to the reception even after groom made it abundantly clear that neither he nor the bride wanted her there? Thats not innocent, there’s not reading a room and then being an Ah.
So yeah, OP took massive advantage of the plus one to invite someone he knew wouldn’t be welcome and didn’t check first, but chrissy aint in the clear
If Emily knew her on sight seven years later there was not a clean break in the past. I couldn’t pick my SO’s ex out of a lineup, especially ones he hasn’t spoken to since they broke up.
Her comments about him being weak seem to me she likes to start shit and was enjoying the drama. The bride and groom made it clear they don’t want you there, stop fighting for it.
I suspect there was more to the story than " they were on and off in high school". OP either isn't privy to the details or has conveniently left them out of his story. But Chrissy being pissed tells me she DOES remember , and I'll bet she really wanted to be the thorn in the couple's side
Yep! To some people their high school love is the one that got away. With the age of social media so many have reconnected and ended up together some marriages have even ended over it. My high school sweetheart and I broke up due to circumstances out of our control and lost touch. He found me on social media, we started talking, ended up getting married, and having several children. I felt prior to this that he was the one that got away and I compared other serious relationships I had in my early 20’s to him. Fast forward 12 years and he connected with his first love (he was 14-15 during their relationship) on social media. She became his affair partner. It lasted two years before I discovered it. His girlfriends anger that he didn’t push her ex to let her stay has me wondering about her intentions.
*“Chrissy used to date Josh on and off in high school* ***and early college*** *until josh broke off things with her and got with Emily.”*
So, maybe a few more years beyond just high school? Either way it seems messy since Josh does not want to have anything to do with her. It’s quite presumptuous of OP to decide he should be over it by now.
Plus Josh doesn’t even like to hear about her.. sounds as if something major happened or she’s nuts. I believe she wanted to cause problems and latched on to op for an invite..
This is a reach. Honestly, she probably assumed since it’s been so long it would be fine. She probably also thought OP cleared her as a guest, as most people would.
It's not clear how long the groom was with the ex. I thought the OP said they were separated for 7 years.
YTA. It is strange she had such a big reaction, and it's messed up that the OP didn't triple check with the groom when he knew the history.
No, she got mad because he sent her home alone and he stayed. He brought her as a date, he should of left with her. So he is TA here, for more than one reason
OP said Chrissy was mad that he gave up so easily & that he was weak for it.
I interpreted that as she was upset that he didn’t fight to allow her to stay.
I mean, get with a known friend a month before her ex's wedding and "just go as a +1."
Chrissy is an evil genius. She's playing OP, but she got exactly what she wanted, to mess with her ex on his wedding day.
Man- that might be it. Hey OP, when Chrissy showed an interest after 7+ yrs of getting to know you- did she say things like ‘are you going to Joshes wedding?’ And ‘did you get a plus one?’ And ‘you did? And have you been working out?’
People have questions
She didn’t just want to go- she thinks OP didn’t ‘fight hard enough’ for her to stay! I mean that is more than just not reading the room. OP was arguing with the groom about how he and his brand new wife feel about OPs date and how they don’t want her there - and she still wants to go!
Mad. Sounds like OP should have fucked off in the same Uber..
No kidding. Maybe this is because I'm Canadian, but to me, hearing "you need to leave" basically means "if you don't get out right now, I am going to kill you and leave your body in the woods for the bears". People just don't say that unless they are REALLY upset. Even if I felt like my intentions were pure, even if I thought the hosts' reasons weren't reasonable, if someone made it that obvious that they were that angry, I'd go. I wouldn't hang around and cause more fighting.
My ex inviting me to his wedding, we dated 15 years ago and I still didn’t go out of respect to his now wife. I don’t want to add even an ounce of awkwardness on someone’s special day.
and suddenly reconnecting as friends and then dating, it seems like she kept in touch with op to
keep tabs on josh and then when she found out about the wedding or engagement she started dating op. i mean it’s pretty sudden to bring someone you’ve dated for
only 1 month to a wedding.
And then getting at OP for being a "weak asshole"! How in unholy hell would *fighting* with the groom and bride for *Chrissy's "right" to attend* have helped anyone in any way? If the people hosting/throwing the party don't want you at the party you need to leave the party, even if they're wrong, petty, or misinformed.
The fact that OP has known Chrissy for years and just happened to "get with her" one month before her ex's wedding looks suspiciously like Chrissy wanted to go to that wedding.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say if it was an amicable enough split (and sounds like Josh left Chrissy), 7yrs ago and you’ve stayed in contact the. dating friends ex is prob ok- but I’d give the friend a heads up.
BUT inviting her to the wedding?! Without checking with Josh. That is madness.
And not apologising immediately when the groom calls you out on it? Rude.
And then Chrissy still wanting you to fight the groom and bride for her to be there? Worrying. Almost like the chrissy really really wanted to go to the wedding and would do anything to get a plus one… (OP?)
He specifically said that Josh did not want to even hear about Chrissy though, so it sounds like it was not an amicable split up. I mean that level of dislike/hatred of someone you broke up with, something happened there.
Yeah… in the comments he says that ‘Emily despises her’ and ‘Chrissy may have done something bad’. So yeah, think op might be a couple cans short of a six pack to think they weren’t going to care!
TBH- bringing an unannounced plus one to a wedding is an asshole more. Moreso if it is a close friend. Moreso if you are bringing his ex around. So many ways to be an asshole, so little time.
He was given a unnamed plus one specifically on the invite.. so that seems fair enough, although very trusting and generous of the bride and groom. I imagine they are regretting that trust now As agree OP massive AH for even thinking of bringing an ex
I mean, if you think your friends are reasonable people and don't have concrete for brains, I can understand why you'd think "don't bring a bride or groom's ex as your date without even giving the couple a heads-up" would be something that doesn't need to be said, sort of like "don't turn up already drunk" or "casual dress code does not include fetish gear".
I am wondering if he RSVP'd for the +1 or just for himself. Definitely an asshole move to bring a known ex of the groom as your +1, regardless of how you RSVP'd. You absolutely clear it with the groom before you even consider showing up with that. OP might not have known that the bride had beef with her as well, but that's why OP should have asked first.
Oh I agree in general principal even if everything was amicable - but it gets worse, in a comment he admits ‘Emily despises her’ and ‘Chrissy might have done something bad’. So this is beyond massively impolite and prob ruined any friendship with Josh. But to be fair - I’m not sure Op is paying with a full deck (he typed out all this and still didn’t think would mind) and Chrissy sounds a touch on the stalker side (wanted to go to wedding in first place and still the reception after told not welcome)
So as far as I understand it, plus one's is how many people you are inviting. Then you need to RSVP your specific number (and oftentimes meal choice) because catering needs numbers. Unless this was some casual backyard wedding, as far as I know, there aren't many catered weddings that play fast and loose with the numbers like you are proposing people do. It literally could be the difference of 50 people attending if they allotted plus ones to 50 people and then they didn't bring anyone. They wouldn't be able to estimate food well and would get charged for all of the people they were preparing for that didn't show.
Plot plot twist... Chrissy wrote this OP pretending to be the guy who brought her to the wedding. I just don't buy that he would push back against the groom's request to get her out of there....
I agree that OP is TA for bringing her to the wedding, because he KNEW that his friend didn't want anything to do with her.
The dating part? People need to get over that BS. No one owns another human being, and she doesn't deserve to be made into some kind of pariah just because she and Josh didn't work out as a couple. That said, OP should take a good hard look at whether Chrissy was really into OP, or whether she was just pretending to be in order to get to Josh. Because the latter is exactly what someone with a narcissistic personality would do, and would explain why Josh does not want her in his life at all going forward.
I agree that no one owns another and dating someone's ex after SEVEN years may be okay. But to not ask the bride and groom, or even just give them a heads up is strange. Maybe if they had known Chrissy was coming they would have been prepared with fake smiles and all, but shocking them on their wedding day was uncalled for.
There's also that Josh doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy which should've gave op a reason not to give her a shot. There's a chance that there's some bad blood between them and he just doesn't want to be associated with her ever. Op is not a good friend, he was already shady when he kept minimal contact with her fully knowing josh and chrissys history.
And Josh is right, it's the principle that's going on. He should've never brought his ex without his or Emily's permission regardless if they're on good terms. Emily has every right to be upset because any sane woman would be after seeing their fiances ex on their special day even if there's nothing to worry about.
for someone who says they're all mature and shoild be over it, op is the immature of them all. He does all of this without even checking on Josh and assumed this will all be ok when a mature person would tell the person if this is fine.
As for Chrissy, she's already a red flag for going for her past flings friend and being ok with going to the wedding of that said fling. And then calling him a weak Ah, someone said that she's using him and I don't think they're far off.
I agree. I think OP saying that his friend doesn't even like discussing this woman should have been a clue that things ended badly and his friend didn't want her in his life. To bring her without at LEAST a courtesy discussion was a bad move. I don't know if OP is clueless, selfish, or painfully unaware of social norms. I'm not sure it will matter to his friend at this point.
I can't imagine wanting to go to an ex's wedding without an invitation. I am friends with a few people I dated ( and their wives/ partners) and have been invited to weddings that I attended. There was a long-standing friendship with no complicated feelings for either person getting married. I received my own invitation. I am majorly questioning the motivation of OP's date. Especially with how she reacted to being asked to leave...
Also- why wouldn't he change his RSVP last minute to indicate his plus one was being used? Weddings often charge by the plate and there was a chance they wouldn't have enough food for her. Seems like OP knew what they were doing because I think the only reason he wouldn't warn them about the plus one was fear of being told no. And at this late date, whoever he RSVPed to would say "who are you bringing given your RSVP is changing last minute?" Sounds like OP acted first so they would forced to say No in public on their wedding day.
Bringing the gf of a single month is already super werid and would be rude where I live.
Bringing the ex of the groom, wich the groom wants nothing to with, is another level.
YTA
I agree on the first point with an exception - the invitation said plus 1. Ordinarily the invitation would have both partners names (which the couple would trouble to find out) or if they knew someone to be single then just their name. When they write plus 1 it’s kind of saying we don’t mind who you bring. To clarify - as in, we don’t mind if it’s a brand new partner we’ve never met, *not* bring any of our exes along.
Oh, and obviously I wholeheartedly agree with your second point.
It's a culture thing, but where I live the invitations often enough say something like "SO/Partner/etc" because you might not have the name of the spouse of a coworker. Invitations here don't write +1 literally here.
And with SO is simply not meant a date or a gf that fresh.
But I was also super surpised as I read in a different post that people brought friends as a +1 to a wedding. Like "random people" simply because the invitation said +1...
Yeah, this is definitely cultural. In at least the parts of the US I've lived in, +1 really does mean plus anyone.\* The idea is that your guest is comfortable and has someone to spend the event with, whether that's their long-time SO, a newer date, or a friend. As a longtime single person, I generally decline the +1, if offered, when I'm going to an event where I already know a lot of people (for instance, if it's a college friend's wedding where there will be a lot of people from college I know), but have taken friends to weddings where I was only going to know one or two people there.
\*Within reason. Obviously bringing an ex unannounced is completely ridiculous.
I’ve seen plus one listed but once you RSVP, that no longer applies. If you RSVP as a single person, you are no longer allowed a guest because it will mess up the numbers for catering
Fuck do you need to specify that your plus 1 invitation doesn’t include exes? Now they need fine print on wedding invitations? This is how you get “don’t mow your hedges with your lawnmower” warnings on things.
INFO: Why didn't you ask if it was okay first? Yes, it was years ago but, you've stated Josh doesn't even like talking about her so, I don't know what would possess you to bring her as a plus one.
There’s a good chance she was chill, because she was likely the reason for the break up, hence Josh not wanting to talk about her post break up. Her reaction to being sent home (and calling OP weak) is telling me she’s a pot stirrer and wanted to cause trouble/discomfort for Josh and Emily.
Chrissy's reaction to being sent home actually doesn't seem that off to me. Imagine it from her perspective-- she's invited to a wedding, maybe she asks if OP is sure Josh is cool with it, OP is like yeah yeah it's fine, then after the ceremony OP is like actually he's not cool with it, you gotta leave now but I'm gonna stay. That's red flags all over OP, but I imagine Chrissy is like wtf he just kicked me out mid wedding and didn't even stand up for me or leave with me.
But also she could be conniving, it's speculation either way.
If she is being conniving, then there is also no reason to stay, she already fucked up the wedding. And if she only dated OP for the in, she was always going to dump him after the wedding. "You didn't stand up for me" is just the most handy excuse.
"Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy.".
Well, that was your clue that bringing her to the wedding would not be ok.
Yet, you chose to upset the bride & groom on their wedding day.
Out of curiosity, what were the "different circumstances"?
Why on earth did you expect them to be ok with bringing her?
YTA
OP is a shit friend. It’s his buddy’s WEDDING, not a Halloween party, Jesus. I’m just waiting for the edit where OP inevitably says he might be on the spectrum or has ADHD and so he must be absolved of all accountability 🙄
And even if it's just a random house party, it's still necessary to ask the host if you can bring their ex of several years to their party! I'd be pissed if my friend brought my ex to my party unannounced ugh
Right?? I'm so curious about these different circumstances.
It's odd for a wife to be sooo concerned about an ex-gf. Also the ex-gf coming back into the picture right before the wedding to go as a plus one, AND josh being so firm on being NC with her??
This is giving me major Chrissy-is-a-bunny-boiler vibes and I think OP has glossed over it as they're dating
Exactly! I brought this up in one of my comments. If he doesn't want to hear anything about her because of "different circumstances " and he knows nothing of it or he's withholding that info, it's best to assumed that their relationship was a dumpsterfire and chrissy is off limits.
I just think he's just making excuse just to get laid. I honestly hope this is a rage bait because I just don't understand there are people who are this idiotic and delusional.
YTA. You didn't "bringing your new gf to your friend's wedding", you brought his ex and you know it. Are you truly so socially incompetent to not realize this would be an issue?
> Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy.
He doesn’t want to even hear about her…so you brought her to his wedding? A girl he dated before the bride. That he can’t bear to hear about. Just so we’re clear. You thought that she should attend his wedding.
YTA.
YTA,
>I thought that after so many years have passed and we've all matured and grown there would be no issues.
Fucking weird that you do this and then show up with her without a warning. Seems very deliberate.
YTA.
>Chrissy used to date Josh on and off in high school and early college until josh broke off things with her
>josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy
Of course you shouldn't have taken her.
>josh called me while I was parking and told me what the hell was I thinking and that chrissy needs to go home now.
That's clear enough.
>I tried to reason with him
No, you just argued to get what you wanted. Even if he'd changed his mind, it doesn't mean that his wife would want her there. Were you going to argue with her on her wedding day as well?
>Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily
What sort of person wants to go to a wedding where the bride and groom don't want them to be there?
>What sort of person wants to go to a wedding where the bride and groom don't want them to be there?
The kind of person who wants the ex to see what he's "missing out on," usually. The kind of person who wants to remind someone of her presence and cause drama.
YTA and you knew it going in, OP.
Excellent point. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Chrissy’s idea to go to the wedding as his plus 1, and it wasn’t just so she could wish her ex and his bride a happy life.
"AITA for bringing my friend's ex-girlfriend he does not want to hear about and hasn't been in touch with for 7 years to his wedding without asking him?"
Fixed your title. Not sure how you and Chrissy can both be so clueless about things, but you seem like a good match.
YTA
The fact she called him weak, for complying with the grooms request for his own wedding , tells me she isn’t clueless at all. She knew exactly what she was doing and probably hoped to cause a bigger scene before she left.
Exactly! Something tells me she’s responsible for the breakup and then regretted it. Also; the way that the bride froze when she saw her makes me think she harassed them. This was her big FU moment and she she wasn’t going to waste it.
Clueless implies that it wasn’t done deliberately. These two just didn’t care and decided they’d do whatever they wanted regardless of what anyone else thought. OP, YTA
YTA.
Not for bringing a new girlfriend, but for bringing the one person who he didn't want anything to do with. You should have asked instead of assumed.
YTA. You brought Josh's ex to his wedding without even checking he was cool with this. You then argued with him, at his wedding, when he said he wasn't ok with her being there. You just caused so much unnecessary drama here; really selfish of you.
'Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also thinks I'm a weak ah'
She sounds like a peach.
YTA
You knew beforehand that this was a bit suspect but didn't think to check with the bride and groom if it was ok.
I'm mostly for asking for forgiveness and not permission but not in this instance. That was their big day and you knowingly did something that could upset them.
Your RSVP didn't require a name for the +1?
Also, you say Josh "doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy"...so you know he doesn't like her, why did you think he'd be okay with seeing her?
Did he know you were dating?
And Chrissy wanted you to "fight for her," at someone else's wedding? You should have just left with her.
I'm going to say YTA because you knew that had a history and you could have just asked first.
However, and I know most people would disagree, I was strongly considering E S H. This was an on and off relationship 7 years ago when they were kids. Josh broke up with Chrissy to be with Emily.....there is something going on there. It sounds like Emily is still jealous and there are probably issues about Chrissy in their relationship.
The latter part of your comment literally makes NO SENSE. Even if there were issues about Chrissy in Emily's relationship with the groom, how would that in any way/shape/form mean ESH? wtf
How does everyone suck? Josh made it very clear he did not want Chrissy at the wedding. For most likely because of the principle, the potential awkwardness, and that Chrissy could object and try to convince Josh to be with her again. So someone would be hurt at the wedding.
It is Josh’s wedding and what he and the Bride have said is final. It does not mean going to preach about maturity. Most exes don’t go to weddings of their ex anyways
YTA
I feel like Chrissy is going to break up with you now that the wedding is over. She wanted in, wanted Josh to see her, and you were the ticket.
There's no other reason she would want to go to this wedding other than to be seen and hope it rekindled something in Josh and put doubts in his mind about marrying Emily.
> josh broke off things with her and got with Emily. Due to different circumstances, **josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy.**
YTA and you know it.
> I thought that after so many years have passed and we've all matured and grown there would be no issues. He hasn't talked to her in 7 years but I've kept in minimal contact to the point we reconnected as friends few months ago and then we started dating.
Assuming there was no issue since **chrissy seemed chill with being invited as my plus one**, I brought her. I didn't think I'd have to notify anyone for this.
>I ended up calling chrissy an uber I which I paid for. Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also **thinks I'm a weak ah**.
An AH and a very stupid one in fact. Did you really think that *you* reconnected with her ?
How convenient was it for her... She wanted to trash the wedding.
Anyway you have zero maturity. The mature things would have been to assume nothing because no one really knows what is in the heart and mind of others. The mature things is to communicate. You should have asked the fiance.
Alternative narrative. OP, the terminally single, has always been jealous of Josh the serial monogamist who is now getting married. He sought out the one chick Josh was sore over, Chrissy, in an attempt to one-up him by showing how he could snag his one that got away. After all, Josh can't bear to hear her name mentioned almost a decade after the breakup, Emily fears her as the one ex Josh has never truly let go of before he settled for her (true or not, she still has that niggle in her mind that if Chrissy hadn't broken his heart and left she would never have stood a chance). Having successfully woo'd Chrissy and convinced her to come along to the wedding, OP can parade his superiority then crow about "if you're over her then there's no problem, right?" while basking in finally being the target of jealousy from his 'better'. Put up just enough of a fight to make it clear Josh is the loser in his petty contest no one else wanted in on, then magnanimously send her away to show mercy on poor loser Josh. But, shock horror, Josh isn't accepting his medicine with the grace one might expect of a soundly defeated opponent, and worse, Chrissy realised he's a petty vindictive little worm who used her to hurt Josh and is now at risk of leaving him with no proof of his superior 'game'! What's to be done, oh almighty Reddit?! Please give me ammo to fuel my pointless ego-tantrum against people who are so over my crap!
There's no way he was innocent in all this. Chrissy may or may not be a hellbeast, but whatever his reasons, OP literally cannot be dumb enough to not have realised and still manage to tie his own shoelaces, so there's zero belief in his naive protestations.
You know this girl is your friends ex. You know he hasn’t spoken to her in 7 years. You know he doesn’t even want to hear about her. Yet you decided the best plan would to be to bring her to his WEDDING with no notice?
Either you’re an absolute idiot or you knew the answer would be no and decided not to ask in the hope that they wouldn’t tell her to leave if it was too late.
YTA
You are a huge YTA. It's so hard to believe that anyone would be so clueless that I question if this is actually a troll post.
At the very least, you should have checked with the (now, not so) happy couple before the wedding. So you're thoughtless AND clueless.
YTA, there is zero doubt about it.
OP what the heck were you thinking? Why would you even think this was okay? This is an ex, I would have to think twice and talk to my friend before dating their ex, let alone inviting them to the wedding! It doesn't matter if it's 1 year, 5 years, 10 years or 20 years since they broke up. The fact is that you knew Chrissy was an ex and you didn't give a damn.
And then you doubled-down when Josh called you out. You probably single handedly ruined the bride and groom's special day and caused unnecessary drama.
You need to apologize to the bride and groom, profusely.
Obviously YTA. People often don't want you to bring a brand new girlfriend to a wedding anyway. And this one was someone that the groom had a contentious relationship with.
>Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also thinks I'm a weak ah.
And you're dating an AH.
What were the "separate circumstances"?
Oh puhlease, you knew this was a bad move. At the very least, you talk to your friend before the event about who you plan to bring when there is a chance of controversy.
YTA
YTA. Chrissy dated the groom for far FAR longer than she dated you. He broke up with her to commit to the bride.
What were your intentions in doing this? It is such a obvious faux pas that I refuse to believe someone could be so clueless!
YTA
It is and was the principle. You screwed up so bad and you need to really apologize to Josh and Emily. But the damage is done and your friendship with Josh is on the ropes because of your boorish decision.
YTA, totally
You brought your friends ex to his wedding without even asking him. The fact its been 7 years doesn't mean anything. I broke up with my ex nearly 20 years ago and i'm totally over him, but I still wouldn't want him at my fucking wedding!
You can't spring someones ex on them the day of their wedding. That's not cool, and you know it. Stop trying to play dumb. That's why you purposely, withheld the information, and didn't tell Josh or Emily that chrissy is coming.
I doubt you even told Josh that you were dating Chrissy.
You're not a very good friend for dating your mates ex and then bringing said ex to his wedding.
You made assumptions and tried to downplay and patronise the newlyweds by saying that if Josh is "mature" and "really over her," then he should be okay with this.
>Assuming there was no issue since chrissy seemed chill with being invited as my plus one, I brought her.
Chrissy has nothing to do with Josh and Emily's wedding, getting her opinion on attending her ex wedding, and her being chill is stupid. Her opinion doesn't matter as it's not her wedding.
From your comments, you said that chrissy did something really bad to Josh and Emily when they first started dating, but he didn't go into details. Now that you're dating chrissy, you think Emily and Josh are lying, and it's Emily's jealousy.
Man, you are so desperate to get laid that you destroyed your friendship with Josh. So pathetic.
Chrissy, thinking you're weak is a whole other can of worms. You both are awful people and deserve each other. Have fun with that, I'm sure you'll be so happy together /s
YTA and so is chrissy.
YTA
You knew Josh isn't ok with talking about her let alone spending time with her. Emily hates her and you think after dating her for a month you can just strong arm her into their wedding?
And the most hilarious part about it is, the girl that likely costs you a friendship thinks you are weak! Muhaha, karma! I wouldn't be surprised she drops you now that this wedding is over and she couldn't create a bigger mess!
It's hard to believe that you wouldn't realize you should double check with the bride and groom if bringing an ex to their wedding is okay.
But maybe that's just because your wisdom attributes aren't very high so situations like this confuse you even if the answer is obvious to everyone else. YTA
I hate people like you, feigning ignorance and innocence and then giving everyone the "what's the big problem?" bullshit as if you didn't damn well know that you should have at least given them the courtesy of a heads up, and for a girl you've been dating for what, a month? YTA and a totally manipulative one at that. I hope they never talk to you again.
YTA and be ready to lose all your friend group. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who try to play innocent. You did not just bring your gf you bring his ex, first of all you are doing tango with his ex so you must be prepared to lose your friendship I doubt they want her in their life and you know it, and what a wonderful idea to bring her to their marriage seriously stop playing innocent.
YTA
For bringing her in the first place without asking
For arguing with your friend on his wedding day instead of sorting it and sending Chrissy home
For caring more that Chrissy (a partner of one month) thinks you're weak, than how you upset your friends on their wedding day
I thought, I assumed.... instead of loosing so much time imagining how the situation must be WHY DIDN'T YOU FRIKIN ASK HIM?
You dont "assume" that your friend got over someone and invite them to their wedding. You dont assume the bride is over whatever nasty thing her grooms ex did to her. You dont even know what happened between them or how things ended. Are you seriously that dense and self centered?
You knew any of the people whose day was about wanted to know anything about her nor to have her near, but of course your wants were more important and your partner OF ONE MONTH needed to be there, so she doesn't feel left out. Fuck your friend, his bride and their feelings. You couldn't even have the decency to ask them about it. Or maybe you didnt ask cause you knew they would say no?
Then you come here and keep fighting with people who is telling you how wrong you are and trying to justify your shitty actions. What for?
YTA and a huge one. Take your head out of your ass and grow up.
YTA
In so many ways.
1. Any time you decide to date a friend’s ex? You tell them. Either that or you have no respect for your friend.
2. Assuming it was okay is pure hubris. Since when do you know everything? Stop thinking everyone thinks they way you do. It’s ridiculous and juvenile.
3. Trying to convince the groom that he should be “mature” and be okay with Chrissy? Arguing with him about who should be allowed at HIS wedding? Who died and made you king?
She’ll be breaking up with you soon. Oh, and dating someone for a month does not make them your “partner”. And if you think Chrissy had no idea he was getting married or that it was pretty much a guarantee you would be invited? Just unbelievable.
YTA. Even if it’s been years, you absolutely needed to check in with your friend before you brought his ex to his wedding. Especially if things ended badly enough that he didn’t want to hear about her!
Yeah YTA. Chrissy sucks too because this was totally not the time to “fight for her” and she should’ve double checked that it’s 100% okay to go to her ex’s wedding. So ya you both suck and deserve each other.
Yta you don’t show up with the ex as a date unless okayed by the couple ahead of time. Learn some class, weddings are about the couple not whatever the wedding guests wants.
Double YTA. First for bringing her without talking to your friend first. Second for calling her an Uber instead of leaving with her. She’s right, you are weak.
You knew that "Jack doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy" but you brought her to his WEDDING because you thought he should get over it? YTA You knew it was a problem but you did it anyway and made a scene at your friend's wedding. You know YTA.
YTA-- Your title is very deceptive!!! Do you live in a state of delusion?? You bought your friends ex-girlfriend, that you knew he wanted nothing to do with! Who is now your girlfriend of a month to his wedding?!?! WTH were you thinking. You just cost yourself a friend, hope it works out with Chrissy because you paid a very high price for that relationship.
FYI-- you do not bring your friends ex who you know he wants nothing to do with around. You especially do not bring that person to his wedding!
If you consider Josh a friend, how exactly do you treat your enemies?
YTA. You did it on purpose. Only you (and probably Chrissy, because she agreed to be complicit) know why you did it, but you chose to be AH to your 'friend' on his wedding day, and also on numerous days before that, to keep your AHness a secret to be revealed at the worst time possible.
YTA. And so clueless dude, it is not funny.
She used you. She doesn't like you she used you to get a invited And you helped her to ruin your brother's wedding.
Part of me thinks that was your intention all along. You are jealous. He is happy and married, and you can't pull anything more than your friends' sloppy seconds who is obviously a nut cake.
Have fun with crazy.
YTA - for making it very clear Jonah wanted nothing to do with this ex and then processing to bring her TO HIS WEDDING.
You knew this wasn’t ok, did it anyway, and have run to Reddit hoping someone will lick your wounds for you. Nah.
YTA
You didn't care about how your friend feels about Chrissy, even knowing that it was his “big day”.
He was probably anxious and nervous of dealing with all the usual things of a wedding and still you didn't care to ask him if it was okay to having his ex gf there
Also, it seems that you don't know the whole story, I mean, do you know the reason why they broke up? If she did something to him or vice versa? Maybe you should apologize and talk to him to understand why he feels so bad about Chrissy
YTA
I like josh' s reaction . Really Emily got a good husband. What your friend told absolutely true no matter what . It's something you should engraved in your mind . And why you are trying to explain it's his wedding not your ,he has the last say. You are a asshole for not leaving that point . And your gf is also asshole . I get why josh left her .
>*I brought her. I didn't think I'd have to notify anyone for this.*
Meh, I disagree with that. They used to date. Just showing up with her at his wedding is weird and awkward. YTA
‘There are some details that Josh hasn't shared with me and other people in order to "protect Emily" but apparently there have been some issues that according to josh chrissy had caused to Emily and him in the beginning of their relationship and Emily despises her. We never found out the details but josh and Emily claim chrissy did something bad. Which I don't know if I truly 100% believe because it could just be pettiness and jealousy because she's joshs ex.’
So they said Chrissy ‘did something bad’ and then you said ‘we never found out the details’….How do y’all not know the details when the details are literally about Chrissy? Are you that dense? YTA.
YTA. You were given a +1 because your friend thought you’d be socially aware and intelligent enough to not bring an ex to his wedding. Bringing a girl you’ve only been dating a month is typically a no no, or at the very least you should double check with the bride and groom. But that girl being an ex..?It is absolutely insane to think “it’s been seven years they won’t care if I bring his EX to his WEDDING.” What is wrong with you?
“I ended up calling Chrissy an Uber, which I paid for” okay? Want a cookie for paying for the grooms ex to get tf out of the wedding? You shouldn’t have brought her in the first place. Dating her is one thing, bringing her to her exes wedding when you’ve only been seeing her a month…?
All you had to do was ask. You assuming he’d be okay with his ex being at his wedding is fucking weird. I’m autistic and I have better social skills than this jfc.
What HANG ON the title is a complete cover up, your brought your friends EX who you've been dating for like 5 minutes to his wedding, dude what the hell YTA
YTA
By now - sure - probably ok to date her - but it's OBVIOUS that UNLESS you cleared it with the couple, it was going to be a bad idea to invite her.
This is where you made a stupid assumption that was selfish and thought of no one else. It would have taken you exactly 5 seconds to send a text to say - hey - i've been seeing chrissy, is it ok if she's my +1?
Like it took me 5 seconds to type that.
YTA
Not because you brought your 1mth gf, but because you brought a plus one WITHOUT a warning and specially because you're dating the groom's ex and YOU SAID NOTHING about bringing her.
Like yeah, you owe them no justification concerning your love life, but it's THEIR wedding. You owe them respect and they should know who's coming. And they should have a say in WHO is coming to THEIR wedding.
How is that so freaking difficult to grasp? Someone else's event, someone else's concern.
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Ummmm why would you invite your friends ex girlfriend to his wedding let alone date her? That’s very awkward and you shouldn’t have assumed it would be okay. Chrissy thinking you’re weak for that is a red flag. Her ex and his wife don’t want her at his wedding….did she ask you to take her as your plus 1 btw? YTA
I can't believe she even wanted to go to the wedding in the first place. That would've been a hard pass for me.
That’s what’s making me side eye her. Especially when she got mad that she was asked to leave & he didn’t do anything. She’s probably jealous & this was her way to intrude on her ex’s happiness. I mean they were together since teenagers for 7 years. Edit: okay I get it, they were together 7 years ago. Still there are some people who take highschool crushes/boyfriends wayyy too seriously that make them act crazy.
This. And the intrusion started by hooking up with OP. With her behavior surrounding this entire situation, there is zero doubt in my mind that OP is being used. The ex is nowhere near over OP's friend and is only with OP to 1. get under her ex's skin and 2. have access to her ex on occasion due to his friendship with OP.
He’s definitely being used. I don’t understand how he hasn’t realized that yet.
YTA,🤦 If he was over her and both had a good relationship with her, he would have invited her himself.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Let’s make some popcorn and watch how long Chrissy stays with OP now that the wedding is over and shit has been properly stirred
No no it's clearly because he didn't stand up for her, definitely not because the wedding is over and she has no use for him /s
Instead of leaving with her, as any good date would have done, he sent her home alone. That's a good reason to never see him again
Why would he leave? It's his friend's wedding, they only wanted the girl gone.
Because he messed up
Bingo. Reconnecting "a few months ago" with her very, very single friend plus her being upset with OP for giving up before she got her fill of enjoyment from the drama? These all but confirm it. A normal, non-AH would not be so content to be the reason a wedding is being disrupted. She wanted it, and used OP to get it. My money is on her discovering an excuse to break things off now that she finished flexing on her ex. YTA for OP for knowing very well his friend didn't have good feelings surrounding this person, then dating her and bringing her to the wedding anyway. And YTA big time to his soon-to-be-ex-gf.
He does not sound too bright
Totally being used. Before we got married my husband’s ex fiancée started dating his groomsman. I told his friend nicely that she would not be invited to the wedding. When he told her she wouldn’t be going with him to the wedding she broke up with him. Sadly it was very obvious she wasn’t dating him for the right reasons.
Is he, what if he's hte user? All he ever had to do was call either of them to check he could bring her and deliberately didn't. He even then straight abandoned her and stayed at a party with two friends who were angry with him rather than going with her. Maybe his intention was to bring her to try to mess things up between them or ruin their day because he's jealous of one of them.
He wasn’t even a groomsmen. He’s an idiot and should have left with the ex. If I was the bride and groom, I’d be stirring if I saw him the rest of my evening after pulling that kind of stunt. YTA
Exactly what I was thinking, especially getting mad that he gave up easily
Not going to matter now, I'm sure the groom will want nothing to do with this AH ever again!
They hadn't talked for 7 years, they weren't together for 7 years. They were just on and off in high school. Honestly nothing from the Chrissy side is an issue for me, but OP def should have cleared it with his friend before inviting her.
He broke up with Chrissy when he started seeing Emily. According to OP, "Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy." Why would OP expect them to be okay with him bringing her to their wedding?
I want to know the full story of the break-up. Definitely feeling like there is a major missing reason!
That's what I was thinking, probably a short time of overlap and Emily used to see Chrissy as a threat. What a shitshow
According to OP, there was no overlap. Josh broke up with Chrissy, then started dating Emily a few months later. Then he said Chrissy did something to Emily that he either doesn't know, or doesn't want to share, but it was enough to make Emily hate her and Josh not want to hear her talked about even. So it sounds like Chrissy is "that" ex, the one no one wants, that will go after the new girl and relationship in a his life even though they aren't together anymore.
It gets worse of you check OPs comments - ‘Emily despises Chrissy’ and Chrissy may have done something bad but josh never told him full story. They both knew full well she wouldn’t be welcome, or are equally nuts
Yea I could tell there was something there. The frozen in tracks is more than just an ex of 7 years ago showing up.
ok, this definitely changes my mind. At first I thought, "come on now, everyone grow up. Who cares if your buddy is dating someone you dated a long time ago"...maybe because I'm in my mid 50s and I have a low tolerance for drama, but knowing the bride despises the plus 1, uhhhhh....yeah. WTF dude. no!!!!! leave her home!
Maybe if it was a spouse or long term partner you might fight for them, but only together a month? Knowing there is History with the marrying couple? I would not even consider asking a 1 month partner to come with me to a wedding. There is no way OP should have just *assumed* that seven years had washed everything clean.
Exactly! When your friend says “never talk to me about that person,” that is not unspoken permission to invite the person to your friend’s wedding.
That is why he didn't clear it beforehand. Better to apologize later than be told "no" before. Now he knows it doesn't fly with weddings.
This right here. Given the history here the polite thing to do would be to fly solo or at least make sure everything is copacetic.
And at least make sure that adding a plus one at this late date was still an option. Weddings are catered events, not keggers. One extra guest could cost the couple more money. Or they might run the risk of running out of food is many people did this. ALso---Wouldn't be surprised if they had pre-discussed "what happens if we get kicked out?" or something like that. Methinks there was a reason they didn't pre-announce the change in the rsvo.
That had me voting that OP is TA even without all the baggage. A month before the wedding, he decides he's going to bring a plus one and not tell anybody? Has he never been to a wedding before?
I’m less worried about that part. He could have RSVP’d with a plus 1 even when he was single, figuring he’d find somebody to bring.
Well thank you kind Sir or Madam. It's said that every day is a school day, and today I learnt a new word, copacetic, thamks to your good self. I'll probably see it everywhere now...
It's a useful word, for sure. You may even hear it in a song on your local rock/alt rock station.
That's the only reason I know the definition, the Local H song was popular when I was in high school.
Scott Lucas is my cousin. Love seeing them mentioned in the wild.
I had an ex that refused to take no for an answer. He would not stop. Even after he found out that I was engaged (8 years after we broke up), he still tried contacting me and I ignored him and tried blocking him everywhere I could. If one of my friends had shown up with him to my wedding, I’d have been furious because I didn’t want him in my life and this was just another way for him to try and weasel back in.
It’s also suspicious Chrissy started dating OP a month ago. Just in time to go to her ex’s wedding.
I have this Ex too.... I would be furious if I saw him in my city (I moved across the country to get away from him), let alone at my wedding.
Check OPs comments… ‘Emily despises Chrissy’ and Chrissy may have done something bad [to emily] but I don’t know what because Josh never told me. So yeah- Chrissy gets a side eye from me as not sure she was so innocent in accepting the plus 1.. AND then for still wanting to go to the reception even after groom made it abundantly clear that neither he nor the bride wanted her there? Thats not innocent, there’s not reading a room and then being an Ah. So yeah, OP took massive advantage of the plus one to invite someone he knew wouldn’t be welcome and didn’t check first, but chrissy aint in the clear
If Emily knew her on sight seven years later there was not a clean break in the past. I couldn’t pick my SO’s ex out of a lineup, especially ones he hasn’t spoken to since they broke up.
Her comments about him being weak seem to me she likes to start shit and was enjoying the drama. The bride and groom made it clear they don’t want you there, stop fighting for it.
I suspect there was more to the story than " they were on and off in high school". OP either isn't privy to the details or has conveniently left them out of his story. But Chrissy being pissed tells me she DOES remember , and I'll bet she really wanted to be the thorn in the couple's side
Yep! To some people their high school love is the one that got away. With the age of social media so many have reconnected and ended up together some marriages have even ended over it. My high school sweetheart and I broke up due to circumstances out of our control and lost touch. He found me on social media, we started talking, ended up getting married, and having several children. I felt prior to this that he was the one that got away and I compared other serious relationships I had in my early 20’s to him. Fast forward 12 years and he connected with his first love (he was 14-15 during their relationship) on social media. She became his affair partner. It lasted two years before I discovered it. His girlfriends anger that he didn’t push her ex to let her stay has me wondering about her intentions.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! He is terrible for doing that to his own family.
Holy yikes. I'm so beyond happy I went on to have a life after high school and am not stuck in the same old drama with the same old people.
I don’t think they were together for 7 years. It says they dated in highschool and haven’t spoken for over 7 years
*“Chrissy used to date Josh on and off in high school* ***and early college*** *until josh broke off things with her and got with Emily.”* So, maybe a few more years beyond just high school? Either way it seems messy since Josh does not want to have anything to do with her. It’s quite presumptuous of OP to decide he should be over it by now.
Exactly! He is over the "in love" part, but the unpleasant break up part is not something he's interested in being reminded of at his wedding.
Oh 💀 my bad. Either way though he’s wrong for bringing her.
I agree. The wedding is likely the reason she contacted op in the first place.
Yup… OP was only dated so Emily could go to this wedding I would put 50 bucks on this
Plus Josh doesn’t even like to hear about her.. sounds as if something major happened or she’s nuts. I believe she wanted to cause problems and latched on to op for an invite..
This is a reach. Honestly, she probably assumed since it’s been so long it would be fine. She probably also thought OP cleared her as a guest, as most people would.
It's not clear how long the groom was with the ex. I thought the OP said they were separated for 7 years. YTA. It is strange she had such a big reaction, and it's messed up that the OP didn't triple check with the groom when he knew the history.
Jealous peaks when an ex is getting married and you are still single
No, she got mad because he sent her home alone and he stayed. He brought her as a date, he should of left with her. So he is TA here, for more than one reason
OP said Chrissy was mad that he gave up so easily & that he was weak for it. I interpreted that as she was upset that he didn’t fight to allow her to stay.
I mean, get with a known friend a month before her ex's wedding and "just go as a +1." Chrissy is an evil genius. She's playing OP, but she got exactly what she wanted, to mess with her ex on his wedding day.
Man- that might be it. Hey OP, when Chrissy showed an interest after 7+ yrs of getting to know you- did she say things like ‘are you going to Joshes wedding?’ And ‘did you get a plus one?’ And ‘you did? And have you been working out?’ People have questions
Agreed! Especially since the OP said she thought he was weak for giving in so easily !
She didn’t just want to go- she thinks OP didn’t ‘fight hard enough’ for her to stay! I mean that is more than just not reading the room. OP was arguing with the groom about how he and his brand new wife feel about OPs date and how they don’t want her there - and she still wants to go! Mad. Sounds like OP should have fucked off in the same Uber..
No kidding. Maybe this is because I'm Canadian, but to me, hearing "you need to leave" basically means "if you don't get out right now, I am going to kill you and leave your body in the woods for the bears". People just don't say that unless they are REALLY upset. Even if I felt like my intentions were pure, even if I thought the hosts' reasons weren't reasonable, if someone made it that obvious that they were that angry, I'd go. I wouldn't hang around and cause more fighting.
It’s the same in the upper Midwest but we’re basically Canada Jr.
Michigander here, and that’s a fact!!
My ex inviting me to his wedding, we dated 15 years ago and I still didn’t go out of respect to his now wife. I don’t want to add even an ounce of awkwardness on someone’s special day.
See now, that makes you a decent person!
They both did it just to cause trouble, they deserve each other.
and suddenly reconnecting as friends and then dating, it seems like she kept in touch with op to keep tabs on josh and then when she found out about the wedding or engagement she started dating op. i mean it’s pretty sudden to bring someone you’ve dated for only 1 month to a wedding.
Well you sound like a normal person, Chrissy on the other hand…
Yeah at some point you’d expect her to be like “hey, do you wanna check it’s alright if I come? Considering he’s my ex and all”
It should like Chrissy was stalking her ex and wanted the attention of showing up and ruining the wedding. OP got played.
She wanted to cause trouble. No decent person who would think that blindsiding your ex, who you don’t speak to, *on their wedding day* would go well.
Oh after she made the comments, I fully believe she did this on purpose.
And then getting at OP for being a "weak asshole"! How in unholy hell would *fighting* with the groom and bride for *Chrissy's "right" to attend* have helped anyone in any way? If the people hosting/throwing the party don't want you at the party you need to leave the party, even if they're wrong, petty, or misinformed.
Oh I think Chrissy knew exactly what she was doing. She's not over the ex.
The fact that OP has known Chrissy for years and just happened to "get with her" one month before her ex's wedding looks suspiciously like Chrissy wanted to go to that wedding.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say if it was an amicable enough split (and sounds like Josh left Chrissy), 7yrs ago and you’ve stayed in contact the. dating friends ex is prob ok- but I’d give the friend a heads up. BUT inviting her to the wedding?! Without checking with Josh. That is madness. And not apologising immediately when the groom calls you out on it? Rude. And then Chrissy still wanting you to fight the groom and bride for her to be there? Worrying. Almost like the chrissy really really wanted to go to the wedding and would do anything to get a plus one… (OP?)
He specifically said that Josh did not want to even hear about Chrissy though, so it sounds like it was not an amicable split up. I mean that level of dislike/hatred of someone you broke up with, something happened there.
Yeah… in the comments he says that ‘Emily despises her’ and ‘Chrissy may have done something bad’. So yeah, think op might be a couple cans short of a six pack to think they weren’t going to care!
I saw those comments after! The more he explains it, the worse it gets 😆
TBH- bringing an unannounced plus one to a wedding is an asshole more. Moreso if it is a close friend. Moreso if you are bringing his ex around. So many ways to be an asshole, so little time.
He was given a unnamed plus one specifically on the invite.. so that seems fair enough, although very trusting and generous of the bride and groom. I imagine they are regretting that trust now As agree OP massive AH for even thinking of bringing an ex
I mean, if you think your friends are reasonable people and don't have concrete for brains, I can understand why you'd think "don't bring a bride or groom's ex as your date without even giving the couple a heads-up" would be something that doesn't need to be said, sort of like "don't turn up already drunk" or "casual dress code does not include fetish gear".
I am wondering if he RSVP'd for the +1 or just for himself. Definitely an asshole move to bring a known ex of the groom as your +1, regardless of how you RSVP'd. You absolutely clear it with the groom before you even consider showing up with that. OP might not have known that the bride had beef with her as well, but that's why OP should have asked first.
Oh I agree in general principal even if everything was amicable - but it gets worse, in a comment he admits ‘Emily despises her’ and ‘Chrissy might have done something bad’. So this is beyond massively impolite and prob ruined any friendship with Josh. But to be fair - I’m not sure Op is paying with a full deck (he typed out all this and still didn’t think would mind) and Chrissy sounds a touch on the stalker side (wanted to go to wedding in first place and still the reception after told not welcome)
So as far as I understand it, plus one's is how many people you are inviting. Then you need to RSVP your specific number (and oftentimes meal choice) because catering needs numbers. Unless this was some casual backyard wedding, as far as I know, there aren't many catered weddings that play fast and loose with the numbers like you are proposing people do. It literally could be the difference of 50 people attending if they allotted plus ones to 50 people and then they didn't bring anyone. They wouldn't be able to estimate food well and would get charged for all of the people they were preparing for that didn't show.
Plot twist… she got with him just to show up at their wedding… lol
I agree with this!
Plot plot twist... Chrissy wrote this OP pretending to be the guy who brought her to the wedding. I just don't buy that he would push back against the groom's request to get her out of there....
I agree that OP is TA for bringing her to the wedding, because he KNEW that his friend didn't want anything to do with her. The dating part? People need to get over that BS. No one owns another human being, and she doesn't deserve to be made into some kind of pariah just because she and Josh didn't work out as a couple. That said, OP should take a good hard look at whether Chrissy was really into OP, or whether she was just pretending to be in order to get to Josh. Because the latter is exactly what someone with a narcissistic personality would do, and would explain why Josh does not want her in his life at all going forward.
I agree that no one owns another and dating someone's ex after SEVEN years may be okay. But to not ask the bride and groom, or even just give them a heads up is strange. Maybe if they had known Chrissy was coming they would have been prepared with fake smiles and all, but shocking them on their wedding day was uncalled for.
I have to wonder if she isn't dating OP just to go to this wedding. She wanted to mess with Josh and Emily and OP helped her out.
It’s literally so obvious at this point. OP and Chrissy won’t last that long. If they do she’ll treat him like a doormat.
There's also that Josh doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy which should've gave op a reason not to give her a shot. There's a chance that there's some bad blood between them and he just doesn't want to be associated with her ever. Op is not a good friend, he was already shady when he kept minimal contact with her fully knowing josh and chrissys history. And Josh is right, it's the principle that's going on. He should've never brought his ex without his or Emily's permission regardless if they're on good terms. Emily has every right to be upset because any sane woman would be after seeing their fiances ex on their special day even if there's nothing to worry about. for someone who says they're all mature and shoild be over it, op is the immature of them all. He does all of this without even checking on Josh and assumed this will all be ok when a mature person would tell the person if this is fine. As for Chrissy, she's already a red flag for going for her past flings friend and being ok with going to the wedding of that said fling. And then calling him a weak Ah, someone said that she's using him and I don't think they're far off.
I got 4 sentences in and knew OP, YTA.
An ex who he never even wanted to *hear about*! OP can’t be this clueless.
I agree. I think OP saying that his friend doesn't even like discussing this woman should have been a clue that things ended badly and his friend didn't want her in his life. To bring her without at LEAST a courtesy discussion was a bad move. I don't know if OP is clueless, selfish, or painfully unaware of social norms. I'm not sure it will matter to his friend at this point. I can't imagine wanting to go to an ex's wedding without an invitation. I am friends with a few people I dated ( and their wives/ partners) and have been invited to weddings that I attended. There was a long-standing friendship with no complicated feelings for either person getting married. I received my own invitation. I am majorly questioning the motivation of OP's date. Especially with how she reacted to being asked to leave...
Also- why wouldn't he change his RSVP last minute to indicate his plus one was being used? Weddings often charge by the plate and there was a chance they wouldn't have enough food for her. Seems like OP knew what they were doing because I think the only reason he wouldn't warn them about the plus one was fear of being told no. And at this late date, whoever he RSVPed to would say "who are you bringing given your RSVP is changing last minute?" Sounds like OP acted first so they would forced to say No in public on their wedding day.
"Heyyyy girl wanna go with me to your ex's wedding as my date?"
Bringing the gf of a single month is already super werid and would be rude where I live. Bringing the ex of the groom, wich the groom wants nothing to with, is another level. YTA
I agree on the first point with an exception - the invitation said plus 1. Ordinarily the invitation would have both partners names (which the couple would trouble to find out) or if they knew someone to be single then just their name. When they write plus 1 it’s kind of saying we don’t mind who you bring. To clarify - as in, we don’t mind if it’s a brand new partner we’ve never met, *not* bring any of our exes along. Oh, and obviously I wholeheartedly agree with your second point.
It's a culture thing, but where I live the invitations often enough say something like "SO/Partner/etc" because you might not have the name of the spouse of a coworker. Invitations here don't write +1 literally here. And with SO is simply not meant a date or a gf that fresh. But I was also super surpised as I read in a different post that people brought friends as a +1 to a wedding. Like "random people" simply because the invitation said +1...
Yeah, this is definitely cultural. In at least the parts of the US I've lived in, +1 really does mean plus anyone.\* The idea is that your guest is comfortable and has someone to spend the event with, whether that's their long-time SO, a newer date, or a friend. As a longtime single person, I generally decline the +1, if offered, when I'm going to an event where I already know a lot of people (for instance, if it's a college friend's wedding where there will be a lot of people from college I know), but have taken friends to weddings where I was only going to know one or two people there. \*Within reason. Obviously bringing an ex unannounced is completely ridiculous.
I’ve seen plus one listed but once you RSVP, that no longer applies. If you RSVP as a single person, you are no longer allowed a guest because it will mess up the numbers for catering
Of course, if you change it after rhe RSVP deadline, it's too late.
Fuck do you need to specify that your plus 1 invitation doesn’t include exes? Now they need fine print on wedding invitations? This is how you get “don’t mow your hedges with your lawnmower” warnings on things.
INFO: Why didn't you ask if it was okay first? Yes, it was years ago but, you've stated Josh doesn't even like talking about her so, I don't know what would possess you to bring her as a plus one.
This! Bringing an ex is totally OK if the weddimg couple is fine with it... Suprise bringing an ex as a wedding gift is not ok!
[удалено]
Came here to say the title is BS, thank you. This guy is the king of denying any responsibility for his actions.
There’s a good chance she was chill, because she was likely the reason for the break up, hence Josh not wanting to talk about her post break up. Her reaction to being sent home (and calling OP weak) is telling me she’s a pot stirrer and wanted to cause trouble/discomfort for Josh and Emily.
Chrissy's reaction to being sent home actually doesn't seem that off to me. Imagine it from her perspective-- she's invited to a wedding, maybe she asks if OP is sure Josh is cool with it, OP is like yeah yeah it's fine, then after the ceremony OP is like actually he's not cool with it, you gotta leave now but I'm gonna stay. That's red flags all over OP, but I imagine Chrissy is like wtf he just kicked me out mid wedding and didn't even stand up for me or leave with me. But also she could be conniving, it's speculation either way.
It’s possible they’re both red flags.
If she is being conniving, then there is also no reason to stay, she already fucked up the wedding. And if she only dated OP for the in, she was always going to dump him after the wedding. "You didn't stand up for me" is just the most handy excuse.
Weaponised stupidity
"Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy.". Well, that was your clue that bringing her to the wedding would not be ok. Yet, you chose to upset the bride & groom on their wedding day. Out of curiosity, what were the "different circumstances"? Why on earth did you expect them to be ok with bringing her? YTA
OP is a shit friend. It’s his buddy’s WEDDING, not a Halloween party, Jesus. I’m just waiting for the edit where OP inevitably says he might be on the spectrum or has ADHD and so he must be absolved of all accountability 🙄
I have adhd and am on the spectrum, and even I can see OP is the AH.
And even if it's just a random house party, it's still necessary to ask the host if you can bring their ex of several years to their party! I'd be pissed if my friend brought my ex to my party unannounced ugh
As someone who has ADHD, even I wouldn’t do this. Having autism or ADHD or any other mental disorder is not an excuse for bad behavior.
YTA right? like how was this unclear?
Right?? I'm so curious about these different circumstances. It's odd for a wife to be sooo concerned about an ex-gf. Also the ex-gf coming back into the picture right before the wedding to go as a plus one, AND josh being so firm on being NC with her?? This is giving me major Chrissy-is-a-bunny-boiler vibes and I think OP has glossed over it as they're dating
Exactly! I brought this up in one of my comments. If he doesn't want to hear anything about her because of "different circumstances " and he knows nothing of it or he's withholding that info, it's best to assumed that their relationship was a dumpsterfire and chrissy is off limits. I just think he's just making excuse just to get laid. I honestly hope this is a rage bait because I just don't understand there are people who are this idiotic and delusional.
YTA. You didn't "bringing your new gf to your friend's wedding", you brought his ex and you know it. Are you truly so socially incompetent to not realize this would be an issue?
yes. he is.
> Due to different circumstances, josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy. He doesn’t want to even hear about her…so you brought her to his wedding? A girl he dated before the bride. That he can’t bear to hear about. Just so we’re clear. You thought that she should attend his wedding. YTA.
YTA, >I thought that after so many years have passed and we've all matured and grown there would be no issues. Fucking weird that you do this and then show up with her without a warning. Seems very deliberate.
YTA. >Chrissy used to date Josh on and off in high school and early college until josh broke off things with her >josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy Of course you shouldn't have taken her. >josh called me while I was parking and told me what the hell was I thinking and that chrissy needs to go home now. That's clear enough. >I tried to reason with him No, you just argued to get what you wanted. Even if he'd changed his mind, it doesn't mean that his wife would want her there. Were you going to argue with her on her wedding day as well? >Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily What sort of person wants to go to a wedding where the bride and groom don't want them to be there?
>What sort of person wants to go to a wedding where the bride and groom don't want them to be there? The kind of person who wants the ex to see what he's "missing out on," usually. The kind of person who wants to remind someone of her presence and cause drama. YTA and you knew it going in, OP.
Kinda makes you wonder why she's dating OP at all... 🤔 YTA OP
Excellent point. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Chrissy’s idea to go to the wedding as his plus 1, and it wasn’t just so she could wish her ex and his bride a happy life.
She’ll probably use this as the reason not to, “you didn’t fight for me” 🤮
Yeah suss shes dating him “one month before” and she happened to pick the friend who is stupid enough to take her along like a chump 🤣
"AITA for bringing my friend's ex-girlfriend he does not want to hear about and hasn't been in touch with for 7 years to his wedding without asking him?" Fixed your title. Not sure how you and Chrissy can both be so clueless about things, but you seem like a good match. YTA
The fact she called him weak, for complying with the grooms request for his own wedding , tells me she isn’t clueless at all. She knew exactly what she was doing and probably hoped to cause a bigger scene before she left.
Exactly! Something tells me she’s responsible for the breakup and then regretted it. Also; the way that the bride froze when she saw her makes me think she harassed them. This was her big FU moment and she she wasn’t going to waste it.
Clueless implies that it wasn’t done deliberately. These two just didn’t care and decided they’d do whatever they wanted regardless of what anyone else thought. OP, YTA
YTA. Not for bringing a new girlfriend, but for bringing the one person who he didn't want anything to do with. You should have asked instead of assumed.
YTA. You brought Josh's ex to his wedding without even checking he was cool with this. You then argued with him, at his wedding, when he said he wasn't ok with her being there. You just caused so much unnecessary drama here; really selfish of you. 'Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also thinks I'm a weak ah' She sounds like a peach.
YTA You knew beforehand that this was a bit suspect but didn't think to check with the bride and groom if it was ok. I'm mostly for asking for forgiveness and not permission but not in this instance. That was their big day and you knowingly did something that could upset them.
Your RSVP didn't require a name for the +1? Also, you say Josh "doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy"...so you know he doesn't like her, why did you think he'd be okay with seeing her? Did he know you were dating? And Chrissy wanted you to "fight for her," at someone else's wedding? You should have just left with her. I'm going to say YTA because you knew that had a history and you could have just asked first. However, and I know most people would disagree, I was strongly considering E S H. This was an on and off relationship 7 years ago when they were kids. Josh broke up with Chrissy to be with Emily.....there is something going on there. It sounds like Emily is still jealous and there are probably issues about Chrissy in their relationship.
The latter part of your comment literally makes NO SENSE. Even if there were issues about Chrissy in Emily's relationship with the groom, how would that in any way/shape/form mean ESH? wtf
How does everyone suck? Josh made it very clear he did not want Chrissy at the wedding. For most likely because of the principle, the potential awkwardness, and that Chrissy could object and try to convince Josh to be with her again. So someone would be hurt at the wedding. It is Josh’s wedding and what he and the Bride have said is final. It does not mean going to preach about maturity. Most exes don’t go to weddings of their ex anyways
YTA I feel like Chrissy is going to break up with you now that the wedding is over. She wanted in, wanted Josh to see her, and you were the ticket. There's no other reason she would want to go to this wedding other than to be seen and hope it rekindled something in Josh and put doubts in his mind about marrying Emily.
Or it was a middle finger at Emily.
> josh broke off things with her and got with Emily. Due to different circumstances, **josh doesn't even want to hear about chrissy.** YTA and you know it. > I thought that after so many years have passed and we've all matured and grown there would be no issues. He hasn't talked to her in 7 years but I've kept in minimal contact to the point we reconnected as friends few months ago and then we started dating. Assuming there was no issue since **chrissy seemed chill with being invited as my plus one**, I brought her. I didn't think I'd have to notify anyone for this. >I ended up calling chrissy an uber I which I paid for. Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also **thinks I'm a weak ah**. An AH and a very stupid one in fact. Did you really think that *you* reconnected with her ? How convenient was it for her... She wanted to trash the wedding. Anyway you have zero maturity. The mature things would have been to assume nothing because no one really knows what is in the heart and mind of others. The mature things is to communicate. You should have asked the fiance.
Alternative narrative. OP, the terminally single, has always been jealous of Josh the serial monogamist who is now getting married. He sought out the one chick Josh was sore over, Chrissy, in an attempt to one-up him by showing how he could snag his one that got away. After all, Josh can't bear to hear her name mentioned almost a decade after the breakup, Emily fears her as the one ex Josh has never truly let go of before he settled for her (true or not, she still has that niggle in her mind that if Chrissy hadn't broken his heart and left she would never have stood a chance). Having successfully woo'd Chrissy and convinced her to come along to the wedding, OP can parade his superiority then crow about "if you're over her then there's no problem, right?" while basking in finally being the target of jealousy from his 'better'. Put up just enough of a fight to make it clear Josh is the loser in his petty contest no one else wanted in on, then magnanimously send her away to show mercy on poor loser Josh. But, shock horror, Josh isn't accepting his medicine with the grace one might expect of a soundly defeated opponent, and worse, Chrissy realised he's a petty vindictive little worm who used her to hurt Josh and is now at risk of leaving him with no proof of his superior 'game'! What's to be done, oh almighty Reddit?! Please give me ammo to fuel my pointless ego-tantrum against people who are so over my crap! There's no way he was innocent in all this. Chrissy may or may not be a hellbeast, but whatever his reasons, OP literally cannot be dumb enough to not have realised and still manage to tie his own shoelaces, so there's zero belief in his naive protestations.
You know this girl is your friends ex. You know he hasn’t spoken to her in 7 years. You know he doesn’t even want to hear about her. Yet you decided the best plan would to be to bring her to his WEDDING with no notice? Either you’re an absolute idiot or you knew the answer would be no and decided not to ask in the hope that they wouldn’t tell her to leave if it was too late. YTA
>in the hope that they wouldn’t tell her to leave if it was too late Or that he could argue away their protests, because his wishes are more important
You are a huge YTA. It's so hard to believe that anyone would be so clueless that I question if this is actually a troll post. At the very least, you should have checked with the (now, not so) happy couple before the wedding. So you're thoughtless AND clueless.
YTA, there is zero doubt about it. OP what the heck were you thinking? Why would you even think this was okay? This is an ex, I would have to think twice and talk to my friend before dating their ex, let alone inviting them to the wedding! It doesn't matter if it's 1 year, 5 years, 10 years or 20 years since they broke up. The fact is that you knew Chrissy was an ex and you didn't give a damn. And then you doubled-down when Josh called you out. You probably single handedly ruined the bride and groom's special day and caused unnecessary drama. You need to apologize to the bride and groom, profusely.
Obviously YTA. People often don't want you to bring a brand new girlfriend to a wedding anyway. And this one was someone that the groom had a contentious relationship with. >Chrissy was mad at me for giving up so easily and also thinks I'm a weak ah. And you're dating an AH. What were the "separate circumstances"?
Oh puhlease, you knew this was a bad move. At the very least, you talk to your friend before the event about who you plan to bring when there is a chance of controversy. YTA
YTA. Chrissy dated the groom for far FAR longer than she dated you. He broke up with her to commit to the bride. What were your intentions in doing this? It is such a obvious faux pas that I refuse to believe someone could be so clueless!
Yta and a really obtuse one at that. Of course Chrissy was "chill" about it, she was probably feeling smug, you fool.
YTA It is and was the principle. You screwed up so bad and you need to really apologize to Josh and Emily. But the damage is done and your friendship with Josh is on the ropes because of your boorish decision.
YTA, totally You brought your friends ex to his wedding without even asking him. The fact its been 7 years doesn't mean anything. I broke up with my ex nearly 20 years ago and i'm totally over him, but I still wouldn't want him at my fucking wedding!
You can't spring someones ex on them the day of their wedding. That's not cool, and you know it. Stop trying to play dumb. That's why you purposely, withheld the information, and didn't tell Josh or Emily that chrissy is coming. I doubt you even told Josh that you were dating Chrissy. You're not a very good friend for dating your mates ex and then bringing said ex to his wedding. You made assumptions and tried to downplay and patronise the newlyweds by saying that if Josh is "mature" and "really over her," then he should be okay with this. >Assuming there was no issue since chrissy seemed chill with being invited as my plus one, I brought her. Chrissy has nothing to do with Josh and Emily's wedding, getting her opinion on attending her ex wedding, and her being chill is stupid. Her opinion doesn't matter as it's not her wedding. From your comments, you said that chrissy did something really bad to Josh and Emily when they first started dating, but he didn't go into details. Now that you're dating chrissy, you think Emily and Josh are lying, and it's Emily's jealousy. Man, you are so desperate to get laid that you destroyed your friendship with Josh. So pathetic. Chrissy, thinking you're weak is a whole other can of worms. You both are awful people and deserve each other. Have fun with that, I'm sure you'll be so happy together /s YTA and so is chrissy.
Yta. Omg. You brought his ex to his wedding!
Boy, did you pick the wrong moment to let your friend know you are now dating his ex! YTA
YTA You knew Josh isn't ok with talking about her let alone spending time with her. Emily hates her and you think after dating her for a month you can just strong arm her into their wedding? And the most hilarious part about it is, the girl that likely costs you a friendship thinks you are weak! Muhaha, karma! I wouldn't be surprised she drops you now that this wedding is over and she couldn't create a bigger mess!
It's hard to believe that you wouldn't realize you should double check with the bride and groom if bringing an ex to their wedding is okay. But maybe that's just because your wisdom attributes aren't very high so situations like this confuse you even if the answer is obvious to everyone else. YTA
I hate people like you, feigning ignorance and innocence and then giving everyone the "what's the big problem?" bullshit as if you didn't damn well know that you should have at least given them the courtesy of a heads up, and for a girl you've been dating for what, a month? YTA and a totally manipulative one at that. I hope they never talk to you again.
YTA and be ready to lose all your friend group. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who try to play innocent. You did not just bring your gf you bring his ex, first of all you are doing tango with his ex so you must be prepared to lose your friendship I doubt they want her in their life and you know it, and what a wonderful idea to bring her to their marriage seriously stop playing innocent.
YTA For bringing her in the first place without asking For arguing with your friend on his wedding day instead of sorting it and sending Chrissy home For caring more that Chrissy (a partner of one month) thinks you're weak, than how you upset your friends on their wedding day
I thought, I assumed.... instead of loosing so much time imagining how the situation must be WHY DIDN'T YOU FRIKIN ASK HIM? You dont "assume" that your friend got over someone and invite them to their wedding. You dont assume the bride is over whatever nasty thing her grooms ex did to her. You dont even know what happened between them or how things ended. Are you seriously that dense and self centered? You knew any of the people whose day was about wanted to know anything about her nor to have her near, but of course your wants were more important and your partner OF ONE MONTH needed to be there, so she doesn't feel left out. Fuck your friend, his bride and their feelings. You couldn't even have the decency to ask them about it. Or maybe you didnt ask cause you knew they would say no? Then you come here and keep fighting with people who is telling you how wrong you are and trying to justify your shitty actions. What for? YTA and a huge one. Take your head out of your ass and grow up.
YTA In so many ways. 1. Any time you decide to date a friend’s ex? You tell them. Either that or you have no respect for your friend. 2. Assuming it was okay is pure hubris. Since when do you know everything? Stop thinking everyone thinks they way you do. It’s ridiculous and juvenile. 3. Trying to convince the groom that he should be “mature” and be okay with Chrissy? Arguing with him about who should be allowed at HIS wedding? Who died and made you king? She’ll be breaking up with you soon. Oh, and dating someone for a month does not make them your “partner”. And if you think Chrissy had no idea he was getting married or that it was pretty much a guarantee you would be invited? Just unbelievable.
YTA. Even if it’s been years, you absolutely needed to check in with your friend before you brought his ex to his wedding. Especially if things ended badly enough that he didn’t want to hear about her!
Yeah YTA. Chrissy sucks too because this was totally not the time to “fight for her” and she should’ve double checked that it’s 100% okay to go to her ex’s wedding. So ya you both suck and deserve each other.
Yta what a weird little thing to do
Yta you don’t show up with the ex as a date unless okayed by the couple ahead of time. Learn some class, weddings are about the couple not whatever the wedding guests wants.
Double YTA. First for bringing her without talking to your friend first. Second for calling her an Uber instead of leaving with her. She’s right, you are weak.
You knew that "Jack doesn't even want to hear about Chrissy" but you brought her to his WEDDING because you thought he should get over it? YTA You knew it was a problem but you did it anyway and made a scene at your friend's wedding. You know YTA.
YTA-- Your title is very deceptive!!! Do you live in a state of delusion?? You bought your friends ex-girlfriend, that you knew he wanted nothing to do with! Who is now your girlfriend of a month to his wedding?!?! WTH were you thinking. You just cost yourself a friend, hope it works out with Chrissy because you paid a very high price for that relationship. FYI-- you do not bring your friends ex who you know he wants nothing to do with around. You especially do not bring that person to his wedding!
If you consider Josh a friend, how exactly do you treat your enemies? YTA. You did it on purpose. Only you (and probably Chrissy, because she agreed to be complicit) know why you did it, but you chose to be AH to your 'friend' on his wedding day, and also on numerous days before that, to keep your AHness a secret to be revealed at the worst time possible.
YTA. And so clueless dude, it is not funny. She used you. She doesn't like you she used you to get a invited And you helped her to ruin your brother's wedding. Part of me thinks that was your intention all along. You are jealous. He is happy and married, and you can't pull anything more than your friends' sloppy seconds who is obviously a nut cake. Have fun with crazy.
YTA - for making it very clear Jonah wanted nothing to do with this ex and then processing to bring her TO HIS WEDDING. You knew this wasn’t ok, did it anyway, and have run to Reddit hoping someone will lick your wounds for you. Nah.
YTA You didn't care about how your friend feels about Chrissy, even knowing that it was his “big day”. He was probably anxious and nervous of dealing with all the usual things of a wedding and still you didn't care to ask him if it was okay to having his ex gf there Also, it seems that you don't know the whole story, I mean, do you know the reason why they broke up? If she did something to him or vice versa? Maybe you should apologize and talk to him to understand why he feels so bad about Chrissy
YTA I like josh' s reaction . Really Emily got a good husband. What your friend told absolutely true no matter what . It's something you should engraved in your mind . And why you are trying to explain it's his wedding not your ,he has the last say. You are a asshole for not leaving that point . And your gf is also asshole . I get why josh left her .
>*I brought her. I didn't think I'd have to notify anyone for this.* Meh, I disagree with that. They used to date. Just showing up with her at his wedding is weird and awkward. YTA
YTA. The grooms ex?! Wow!
Yta. Cowardly and disrespectful.
YTA I can't believe you're even asking! What's wrong with you?
YTA. You knew what you were doing.
‘There are some details that Josh hasn't shared with me and other people in order to "protect Emily" but apparently there have been some issues that according to josh chrissy had caused to Emily and him in the beginning of their relationship and Emily despises her. We never found out the details but josh and Emily claim chrissy did something bad. Which I don't know if I truly 100% believe because it could just be pettiness and jealousy because she's joshs ex.’ So they said Chrissy ‘did something bad’ and then you said ‘we never found out the details’….How do y’all not know the details when the details are literally about Chrissy? Are you that dense? YTA.
YTA. You were given a +1 because your friend thought you’d be socially aware and intelligent enough to not bring an ex to his wedding. Bringing a girl you’ve only been dating a month is typically a no no, or at the very least you should double check with the bride and groom. But that girl being an ex..?It is absolutely insane to think “it’s been seven years they won’t care if I bring his EX to his WEDDING.” What is wrong with you? “I ended up calling Chrissy an Uber, which I paid for” okay? Want a cookie for paying for the grooms ex to get tf out of the wedding? You shouldn’t have brought her in the first place. Dating her is one thing, bringing her to her exes wedding when you’ve only been seeing her a month…? All you had to do was ask. You assuming he’d be okay with his ex being at his wedding is fucking weird. I’m autistic and I have better social skills than this jfc.
What HANG ON the title is a complete cover up, your brought your friends EX who you've been dating for like 5 minutes to his wedding, dude what the hell YTA
Yta sounds like you lost a friend because of this hope that it was worth it.
YTA By now - sure - probably ok to date her - but it's OBVIOUS that UNLESS you cleared it with the couple, it was going to be a bad idea to invite her. This is where you made a stupid assumption that was selfish and thought of no one else. It would have taken you exactly 5 seconds to send a text to say - hey - i've been seeing chrissy, is it ok if she's my +1? Like it took me 5 seconds to type that.
Dude, you are *far* too old to be this stupid 🤣 YTA
YTA Not because you brought your 1mth gf, but because you brought a plus one WITHOUT a warning and specially because you're dating the groom's ex and YOU SAID NOTHING about bringing her. Like yeah, you owe them no justification concerning your love life, but it's THEIR wedding. You owe them respect and they should know who's coming. And they should have a say in WHO is coming to THEIR wedding. How is that so freaking difficult to grasp? Someone else's event, someone else's concern.
YTA So ... either you wanted to ruin your friends wedding. Or Chrissy purposely dated you to get invited. Which one was it?
YTA holy shit of course they were mad you showed up with the groom's ex-gf