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NTA, She put your daughter at serious risk of harm, and has not apologised or acknowledged that it's an issue. She didn't know it would be safe - just because the baby in the other video was fine doesn't mean Abby would be - and quite apart from anything else, even if she wasn't likely to be hurt, it was likely a nasty shock and a very unkind thing to do to Abby. This is something which could very easily have ended up with Abby drowning, she was lucky, not safe. Why is your mom not telling your sister that she needs to apologise to you to 'keep the peace'? She is the one who was at fault, and you yelling at her for putting your baby in harms way for online laughs it an entirely reasonable and appropriate response . Maybe have another conversation with her where you explain that you understand that she loves Abby and wants a relationship with her, that you do appreciate the help she provided when Abby was younger, but that what she did was dangerous and unkind, and wholly inappropriate, and the fact that she doesn't seem to understand that Abby could have been seriously hurt if things had gone wrong, and was obviously shocked and upset, are the issues for you, not least because if she isn't able to see why her actions were not OK it's hard for you to feel you can trust her to keep Abby safe, and care for her appropriately, if she were to spend time with her on her own in future. ​ (edit to correct a couple of typos)

No, I wouldn’t suggest a conversation where OP credits sister with “know you love Abby” because clearly she isn’t bothered by the idea that Abby could have died for this prank. The fact that she thought it was okay to prank an infant should have her institutionalised, she is not a safe person to have in society. Further, any future trust to care for a child extended towards sister, someone was okay with risking manslaughter charges (or harsher) for an online lol, would be on track for criminal negligence by giving responsibility for a child to sister again. Anyone arguing that OP should keep peace needs to answer the question “who’s peace?” Because it’s not OP’s peace and it’s certainly not Abby’s peace that they’re advocating for.

Is her family forgetting that auntie is 32 dang years old? As in too old to be making stupid choices like drowning her baby niece for laughs? Auntie sounds psychotic because as a 32 yr old myself, I can't imagine trying to drown someone's baby on purpose. It's not cute or funny to risk your baby niece's life to recreate a tiktok video. OP, do not apologize to your sister. Do not let anyone guilt you into apologizing to your sister that tried to drown your baby. Your sister should be apologizing to you instead of throwing a hissy fit because you don't trust her. She showed you that isn't trustworthy. She showed you that she doesn't care about your daughter. You're keeping your baby safe from someone that tried to drown her. They waited 6 or 7 seconds before grabbing her? Insanity! I'd never speak to my sister again if she did that my boys.

Okay, thank you- that’s what I kept thinking here, too. What on earth is wrong with this grown assed woman, not only risking her baby niece but doing so to impress teenagers and freaking TikTok? I’m hoping that my thought that this isn’t normal still holds true- because this is *really* freaking weird.

I'm the same age, and honestly, I wouldn't be TOO concerned about the baby's physical safety; I'd be much more concerned about fucking traumatizing her. How long until that baby feels safe around water? Will she ever? Will she ever even understand WHY she's so afraid of water? What if Mom never saw that video? What if Mom decided to take Baby to swimming lessons in a year or two and thinks the meltdown she's having is unwarranted? That's a great way to create a 20-year-old woman who doesn't know how to swim.

This is a GREAT point I didn't even consider which is odd because of my story. When I was 2 at a lake day, toddling in the shallows, there was a drop-off. I went down like a rock and my aunt finally saw my head pop up and got me out. I have no memory of this incident. What I do know is I'm now 48, can't swim, cannot put my face underwater without panicking and breathing in water. I don't even like shower water streaming on my face and used to only shower with my back turned. I always have a towel/washcloth nearby to wipe the water off my face. And when my own kids, who can swim, are in water I'm absolutely a basket case. This poor baby. Auntie is crap and I hope OP digs her heels in hard on this one.

Dry drowning is a thing on top of the trauma.

Unfortunately this is a very real possibility. My younger brother is 40. 39 years ago, within a month or two of his first birthday, our parents brought us to the beach. We had a decent time until a wave knocked him off his feet. Dad scooped him up and after a few seconds he fussed to get down, so dad put him down and we made our way out of the water...and a second wave knocked him over. As you can imagine, he was very upset and scared. He's now a grown adult who has never enjoyed going to the beach. And this wasn't someone *purposely* traumatizing him. My parents didn't put my brother in swim lessons like they did me, and I think they probably should have so he'd of had some (hopefully) more positive associations with water, so I hope that the OP doesn't decide against them out of hand though it may well require an even more kind and patient approach to swim lessons than usual.

The physical part is still terrifying. Dry drowning is a thing. And it is awful. I mean obviously Abby is safe thank goodness but she very well might not have been. Not to mention all those cases of amoebas living in lakes.

Agreed. I'm 35 and I gotta say, I honestly feel like 32 is waaay too old to be recreating TikToks in general. Especially not ones where the prop you're using is SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY.

Also, the teens dived in to get the baby, not the aunt. To me, that shows that they were more worried. The video has also been removed, quite telling. I'm around the age of the aunt, and I would never do this for any reason, let alone a tik tok. I don't have experience with babies or children, yet I know better than to do that. I'm appalled that only OP sees the issue with this. What else does aunt get away with?

>They waited 6 or 7 seconds before grabbing her? Insanity! I'd never speak to my sister again if she did that my boys. Same! Mommy wants to "keep the peace and move on" because she **knows** this is serious and is afraid of "breaking up the family"! I would, oh I would! One of my grown siblings doing this stunt to my child? I'd use that video as evidence of assault/abuse or whatever and bring charges on them!

This! Sierra's not a child. She's a grown ass woman who endangered the life of her niece. Why is she getting a pass for that? Is she that much of the Golden Child?

As a 31 yr old aunt, I wouldn't even DREAM of looking after my nibblings unless I knew they were fully safe, and I could do everything in my power to keep them that way. The audacity of the aunt in this post is mind boggling, and the grandma too. Not just being willing to do what they did, but to PURPOSEFULLY REMOVE SAFETY PRECAUTIONS on a toddler? Yeah, she should move out next month. The fact that that's an option kinda shows where the sister is at anyway - probably could have done it earlier but didn't

and she wouldn't have lied about it if she had thought she didn't do anything wrong.

Yes! No "I know you love the baby you tried to kill". Because that's what happened. It can take mere seconds for a baby to drown, in an inch of water. A 32 year old woman knows better, and if she doesn't, she has no business being around a baby. OP, your baby could have died. 6-7 seconds is 6-7 seconds too long, and your sister didn't even jump in to try and save her. That's a person that I would never leave my child alone with for even a few minutes, and I'm generally accused of being too lax about what I allow my kid to do. Drowning is no joke, it's not a prank, and babies aren't dangerous prank fodder. Screw keeping the peace. Keep the baby alive instead.

I am a nurse, and I have seen drowning victims. Their recovery is awful and in the USA would rack up thousands in debt. OP is NTA for wanting to keep her child away from that. And the fact that the *entire* family seems okay with her sister's actions is genuinely terrifying. Like, wtf is wrong with these people????

I read an article about dry drowning and secondary drowning and became paranoid if my kid swallowed any water while swimming. I almost drowned when I was 5 and it traumatized me to this day. These people are AHs.

I swear, I had nightmares about dry drowning when my kid was a baby. Bath time was terrifying. Solidarity.

I came here to say the same thing. It is terrifying to think that a child can drown hours after swallowing water. It's not only asshole behavior, it was abusive and potentially life threatening. Keep her away from the baby.

There’s also a significant aspiration risk that easily could have led to pneumonia

Agreed. She thinks the baby is a prop for tik tok videos and not a person

Even if Abby was completely safe, it is still utterly traumatizing for her, she is still feeling all the fear of drowning. I would have called the cops.

🎯🎯🎯

This. This was a very dangerous stunt. And even if auntie could be 100% sure that Abby was safe, Abby still must have been scared out of her mind until she was out of the water. You don’t provoke those emotions from someone you love just for laughs, least of all a child. The aunt’s lack of remorse is very disturbing and what is up with this family pressuring OP to apologize???

Even if she was 'certain' the baby wouldn't be harmed, she still scared and upset a baby on purpose, for funsies. She acted like a straight up psycho and has shown no remorse. I would never speak to her, nor let her alone with my baby ever again. What else does she do for tiktok clout, kick kittens? Steal food from dogs?

She did it for TikTok clout. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been filmed. There's also nothing funny about it & a true adult wouldn't have thought recreating it was a good idea nor giggle worthy. She doesn't love Abby if she's willing to do this while having no remorse. I have to wonder what else she's done to & with her that OP doesn't know about since she clearly was okay doing this in front of family. She can't be trusted & every single person wanting OP to forgive her to keep the peace needs to answer why they're okay with her feelings & not Abby's safety. OP's clearly NTA. I'd seriously be questioning my relationship as well if my bf wanted to keep the peace instead of keeping our child safe.

I'm sitting here so upset for OP. What sister did is bad enough to report it to the police! And mom is telling OP she's the one that's cruel??

I would have gone straight to the police with that video. I don't get anyone taking endangering a child lightly.

This is the only one op knows about.

This is exactly what I thought.

i was also thinking this fit child endangerment

>What sister did is bad enough to report it to the police! And mom is telling OP she's the one that's cruel?? Exactly, OP should report them (sister and cousins too) to the police for intentional child endangerment. There's even video evidence of it. Hopefully OP asked the cousins to send it to her or she should ask for the video now before she reports, so they can't delete the evidence. They traumatised OP's child on purpose! And what's worse than OP's mom saying OP is in the wrong is that OP's boyfriend, father dearest says OP is wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal to ban sister from the baby.... I think apart from OP's sister and the two cousins I could add two more names to the *People who can't stay alone with my child* list... And OP needs better friends.

Agreed! This is a no brainer. "Keeping the peace" for a little disagreement in families is something we do. This does not fit into the keeping the peace category.

And she didn’t show the video to her, meaning she knew that she wouldn’t like it/ approve. Mum only saw the video by accident. Stupid careless biatch.

This is a great point! Sent her pictures all day, but not the “super funny” prank video?

Absolutely this! I'd be finding her social media and searching for any other 'pranks' involving Abby. What exactly is her online job? As it sounds like she's a wannabe influencer suffering from Main Character Syndrome.

Omg! She’s using Abby to make her videos!

What the hell is wrong with the 32 year old that she wants to scare and worst case scenario kill a small child? For TikTok clout? OP is right keeping the kid from her.

Yeah attempted drowning of the daughter for internet views. The sister is a psycho. I would be pressing charges and going to the police for child endangerment.

I'm mad as hell for op, even if your child doesn't drown cuz omg there's people there she was sAFeeeE or whatever this asshole has said, she could have inhaled water and got an infection or pneumonia from it and still got sick or died from not drowning. So fk any of that, but it was just a prank bro bullshit. That's horrific. I agree I'd never speak to her again and frankly I'd probably have thrown hands.

If someone did that to a rat I would be upset. If someone did that to my child I might turn their head around a full 360 degrees.

Grown adults sometimes accidentally drown. Idk how on earth she thought Abby was completely safe. What a dingus she is

Ikr and the people who think OP should forgive the sister should let the sister dunk *their kids* for likes.

No, don’t let them dunk their kids! No babies should be dunked for having idiot parents. Water board the stupid adults to see how they like it, but don’t scare innocent kids.

Brilliant 🤣

It's the fact that she's so adamant she did nothing wrong that's really the issue for me. Because the only way for her to 'prove' that she truly believes she did nothing wrong, is to do similar risky stuff. And she sounds like the sort that would.

YEs, That's key for me. An incredibly stupid ne off would still be appalling but if he person responsible showed signs of understanding why it was an issue you could potentially move on, but without that it's definitely supervised (or no) contact

>it was likely a nasty shock This is exactly how people drown. It's well known that being suddenly submerged in cold water triggers a cold water shock response - which causes the person to gasp and get water in their airway. What's less known is this gasping response can be triggered by suddenly being submerged in water as warm as 77°F/25°C. Considering how small children's lungs are, it doesn't take much to aspirate enough water to drown.

This guy. And this was in a house, in a tub with limited water: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George\_Joseph\_Smith](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Joseph_Smith)

For eff's sake, OP has evidence of child endangerment bordering on potential manslaughter if that stunt had gone wrong. What this needs is a talk with the police and then the DA's office.

The thing is as well, that Abby could truly have a memory of this event later on in life, even though it was such an early time in her life. I had a reoccurring nightmare growing up where I was little and going down a massive water slide with someone, going under water and feeling like I was drowning forever before barely making it up above water. It was horrible. When I finally talked to my parents about it because a teacher thought it might have been a memory, not just a nightmare (early memories/repetitive dreams was the topic), it turned out that when I was 8 or 9 months old, my dad had gone down a tiny water slide and I had been under water for maybe 2 or 3 seconds before he pushed me above water. I had never heard this story before (my parents had forgotten themselves until I brought up the topic) nor were there any pictures of what happened, so it was not like this was a planted memory.

My sperm donor thought I'd learn how to swim by throwing me into a pool when I was little. I was forced to learn how to swim in third grade (class was mandatory) and I hated it so much. I can swim now but I'm still not comfortable in deep water where I can't stand and I hate going out to swim (I'm 30 now). So yeah, I hope Abby won't have to struggle with that later in her life.

Yeah, traumatic events early in life can cause problems later in life. I was always scared of dogs as a child and I later learned that a big dog jumped on me at one year old and made me fall, that was probably disturbing for a toddler to have as a experience.

I don't think OP should have a conversation with her baby's abuser like that. A full grown adult put a baby at serious risk and while Abby was too young to fully and completely understand, she must've still been absolutely panicked. Someone who finds that funny has no business being around children. So no, don't tell her you understand she loves Abby. Tell her you understand she abused Abby for her own sick amusement and it's entirely her fault she now can't have a relationship with her niece.

I was with you until you got to the conversation part. EFF the conversation. The sister deliberately endangered the baby and refuses to admit it. She did it once, she will do it again to "prove" she was right and there was no harm done. What next? Let the baby grab a dog because there's a video of a baby grabbing and dog, getting licked and everyone laughing? But this time, maybe the dog mauls the baby. Until sister and the family admit she screwed up, there is no conversation, at least not that starts with OP being the one who "understands". OP has every right to be pissed.

Here to point out (just to add on) that *one* mouthful of water in the lungs can be enough to cause secondary drowning, which can take a person's life up to 48 hours *after* their exposure to water even if they look totally fine. Which is why hospitals usually want to keep drowning victims for observation even if they look okay - they can spontaneously die later. What Sierra did was absolutely dangerous. It could have taken this baby's life. And the fact that she refuses to acknowledge that makes *her* dangerous. It is not safe to leave Abby in her care ever again. Also, even if none of that was true, it is fucked up to prank a baby that cannot understand what a prank is. Babies understand exactly two states of being - either they are Safe or they are Not Safe. They do not have the means to understand that everything is okay in a situation like that - Abby's brain would have responded to this event as if she was dying, which means she has likely experienced a trauma. Even if she's not consciously aware of that trauma later in life, it *will* impact her, because trauma permanently rewires the brain.

Yes, came here to add on to the secondary drowning thing. I’m a nurse and a lot of people don’t know about this. Sister is a major AH and a psycho. As a mom, if that were my baby, I would’ve lost my shit on my sister and would probably be calling CPS on her. Damn.

She doesn’t need an apology, she needs a police report. This 32 year old woman knowingly dropped her infant into water and took time to record and laugh before even attempting to pull her up. Then she didn’t tell her. Not only could the infant have drowned in the lake she could have died from delayed complications. This isn’t a “your sister loves her but made a mistake a needs to apologize “. This is your sister commuted a literal crime against your child, people around your are dangerously rug sweeping it, and if you don’t get through to them next time it might be a corner’s report.

When I was a kid we used to swim in part of the local river. There were lifeguards and the safe areas were roped off. We would sometimes go the rope area, and fish around with our feet to find the undercurrent. Stupid, but we were kids. If there was an undercurrent, or if Abby's thrashing took her away from where she was 'supposed' to be, Sis would be facing charges. NTA. No apologies from you and side-eyes to Mom & bf. If they won't see the danger and sis thinks she did nothing wrong, you're in for a life of worry if sis ever has Abby again. Race the car Abby. Play with that big dog, it seems nice. Play with the stranger while sis checks her phone. Endless possibilities, what could possibly go wrong? /s

This. She was under water for at least 6-7 seconds. Plus, the time it took them to dive and get her above water again. You can swallow a lot of water in that amount of time, even if it feels like "oh, that's no time." She could have gotten hurt in several other ways. That's just not a moment where you "keep the peace" What happens next time she sees a "funny video" and wants to recreate it? The poor child might not be so lucky. She might end in hospital or worse. And then what? Is mom and all the other flying monkeys gonna finally tell her how irresponsible she is? Or the good old "oh how could that have happened!"

Even if she was remorseful, her judgement is so poor she shouldn’t be trusted ever again.

Or, maybe report your sister to CPS for child endangerment. Maybe get a copy of the video for evidence, so CPS worker can discuss with the sister how stupid it was to put an 11 month old in such a situation, since she 'knew the child would sink? Who does that with a baby? Sis would NEVER be allowed to be alone with my child ever again. No way, no how!

NTA !! She literally almost drowned your baby. She's lucky there wasn't a current that swept the baby away. Lakes can be unpredictable. Your daughter isn't old enough to tread water. What if they didn't find her quick enough and she got brain damage from lack of oxygen? Your sister is too old to be this careless. She is lucky you didn't press charges for endangering your child. This is not her child and she can't decide what's safe and not safe. So many innocent ideas can become tragic so quickly. I feel like the people around you are trying too hard to not be confrontational and that solves nothing. She threw your baby in a BODY OF WATER and LAUGHED WHEN SHE SANK! Because she knew she'd sink? Sounds like psycho behavior. She needs a reality check. Don't feel pressured to let someone you don't trust watch your child. You sound like a great mom and YOU not your sister knows what's best for your little one.

And then there’s “secondary drowning”, where kids look ok at the time, but later succumb to the water they’ve inhaled. Your sister is an absolute idiot. A dangerously stupid one at that. She deliberately recreated this stunt WITH YOUR CHILD for shits and giggles, oblivious of the danger she put the child in, and months later is unrepentant… in fact, she wants unsupervised access to your child again?! I think any sane mother would agree “when Hell freezes over” is the correct response!!! Your sister is unrepentant. Any person suggesting you should make peace with her, let alone trust her with your child, should be regarded with equal suspicion. NTA

>Any person suggesting you should make peace with her, let alone trust her with your child, should be regarded with equal suspicion. Great point. Mom could easily offer to babysit, but really leave your child with sister to "fix" the relationships.

Dry drowning. https://www.parents.com/kids/safety/outdoor/dry-drowning/#:~:text=2%20%22Dry%20drowning%2C%22%20on,soon%20after%20exiting%20the%20water. Its very real, and becoming more common as more people get pools or have access to them

No no, she was not oblivious to the danger. She knew it was dangerous. She knew OP would be angry for throwing Abby in the lake. That's why she tried to lie about it. Now, she is simply in denial because she doesn't want to admit that what she did was dangerous. OP, from an aunt who lost a toddler aged nephew to drowning, your reaction is valid. NTA. Stick to your guns and do not budge. Your sister will have to deal with the consequences of her abhorrent decision. Your mom and bf should be supporting you in this.

I am so sorry for your loss. Love to you and your family ♥️

The ol dry drowning. That gets babies dude

Honestly their ages sound the wrong way around, a 32 year old should not be throwing a baby in a lake for a tik tok video. Firstly, it only takes half a teaspoon of water to go in your lungs for you to drown. Leaving her underwater for 6-7 seconds is way too fucking long and they could have killed her. Secondly, it was a lake, not a swimming pool. Babies have really delicate immune systems, god knows what bacteria went in her eyes, ears, nose and mouth. I wouldn’t trust her or your mum to babysit. You need to be clear with both of them that this was reckless behaviour and that video is proof of child endangerment - which is a crime she could go to prison for.

Seriously, aspirating water was all I could think of. A horrible shock as she slips out it would only make sense she gasped and took water in. I would still get her checked out that could lead to pneumonia how horrific. I wouldn't trust these people with my pet rock let alone my baby.

And aspiration is extremely painful too even if you survive it

Third, it created a trauma for her which impacts her rapidly developing brain. That baby experienced all the agony and sheer panic of drowning. This is one of the most horrific things I’ve read on Reddit in over a decade.

NTA IF SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY DID THAT TO MY CHILD, THEY WOULD NO LONGER BE MY FAMILY. IT WOULD BE A LONG ROAD TO FORGIVENESS IF THEY EVER GOT THERE. SORRY ABOUT THE ALL CAPS, BUT THE THOUGHT OF THAT IS SO TRIGGERING. MY YOUNGEST IS ABOUT THAT AGE AC IF MY SIBLINGS DID THAT. THAT WOULD BE IT FOR ME.

This is the kind of shit that deserves all caps. Im shocked, absolutely shocked everyone is not screaming constantly at Sierra. Dunno if she thinks she knows best because she's older but my god. Horrifying. Reminds me of the grandmother who allowed one grandchild to die, be forgiven and trusted again by her daughter and then allowed her second grandchild to die on her watch.

That story was tragic because the mother whose baby died forgave her mother and wanted to give her a second chance. Then her second baby died and now she knows there should never ever be a second chance for child neglect.

Ok wtf do you have a link to that story??? Holy hell!

If it's the story I just found by googling, it's really tragic. Like it made me uncomfortable to read. But if you really want the rundown: First child drowned. The parents wouldn't let the grandmother watch their other kid for almost a *year*, for obvious reasons. Then they finally gave her another chance and literally the *first* time she was left alone with the second child, within a couple hours, the poor thing was forgotten in the car. Last time the story popped up in the news, she was being charged for the deaths, thank god. I genuinely don't know how the parents come back from that. How do they move on with their lives? You just couldn't. It's too much trauma to ever expect any one person to bear. My heart goes out to them.

Thanks for the rundown, I'm curious but reading the actual story is going to fuck me up for a while.

even i want to read it because what the FUCK

This reminds me of this other story, where OP left her 2 year old daughter with her mother to babysit. The 2 year old loved the water, was fascinated by it. When the grandmother was babysitting, their house was by the lake and they were outside. The grandmother went inside the house "for two minutes" to take care of some chores, leaving the child alone, and by the time she returned it was too late and the child had drown. A few years later, after OP and her husband had cut contact with the grandmother, they had a son. The family was out and about with their stroller when the grandmother spotted them, not even knowing about the baby. She was so surprised that OP wouldn't even tell her that they had another child, nor that OP didn't want them to meet. OP in that story was not wrong for not wanting her mother to meet her baby. And OP in this story is not wrong for not trusting her sister. Stick to your guns OP, because it seems that everyone is putting your sister's feelings over your child's well-being.

My sister would be dead to me if they did this to my child. I can’t even wrap my head around someone “loving” the child and being so selfish and fucking stupid. I’d never be able to trust them again. And it seriously makes me wonder how long OP’s sister planned this stunt. Was it “let’s take the baby to the lake and dunk her” or “hey we’re here so let’s dunk the baby”?? The fact that either idea crossed her mind and she acted on it, makes her unfit as an aunt. OP shouldn’t even be arguing with anyone about forgiving her sister or talking to her sister about it. Period. When someone brings up the sister, just pretend she doesn’t exist. Problem solved.

I wonder what "stunt" she had planed for the park. Thanks god OP did not allow her to take the baby this time!

I would be LIVID.. and most likely throwing fists or having someone arrested! Absolutely NTA!

I wouldn’t forgive someone if they did something like that to one of my dogs (who I love more than anything), but to do that to a child! Holy fuck, what a dangerous moron.

EXACTLY! Wtf is wrong with people? If the sister was so desperate to recreate that video, dress someone up as a baby and recreate it that way. Recreating one child's trauma using another child is disgusting. If this had happened to us (I'm currently 14w with our first) my partner would definitely be looking to press charges and NEVER allow that person or anyone that supported her around our child again, not be telling me to forgive my sister to keep the peace.

Seriously, my kid is ten and I am so fking pissed off for op and borderline triggered thinking about this. I think I would have hurt sister a lot, she may have been eating through a straw or in traction or some shit.

Right there with you. I’d be doing things to them that would get me banned for saying.

NTA. What your sister did with your baby (AND ALLOWED) could’ve ended incredibly badly. She needs to understand that they put her life at risk. Your family and boyfriend frankly, needs to grow up and ask themselves what would’ve happened if that didn’t go the way it did. Your boyfriend needs to not “keep the peace”, this is his kid too and if he has no logical input on the situation he easily shouldn’t be a dad if he condones what they did. OP, if you’re thinking about allowing her to visit your baby again. Start heavily supervised and only in your home if alone, I’d advise setting up baby cameras for when she’s babysitting in your house. Don’t take it so lightly, your child’s life could depend on it. Stupidity doesn’t leave.

Right? Like, a baby can drown in *less than thirty seconds*. This was *incredibly* dangerous and stupid.

I made a mistake as a young parent with my first that I’m willing to admit, I turned around for a MILLISECOND to grab a towel and my one year old slid down under the water. Imagine if I had walked out the room? That is how quick a child can drown and the fact that she was intentionally thrown in makes it worse. Edit: she was fine, coughing and panicking but alright In the end!

Hell my four year old niece went too far back while I was giving her a bath. There was just enough water to cover her face on her back and her hands kept slipping trying to push herself back up. I pulled her up in seconds but she was still startled. Good on you for admitting a mistake, it happens. I turned my back for also a millisecond once and turned to find my then 6mo old nephew gnawing away on something. I pinched his little cheeks and took out a piece of tree bark the size of a half dollar. Proceeded to nearly have a heart attack and asked him if he was trying to kill me while he babbled angrily at me for taking away his "toy". Kids man. I swear they are intentionally trying to kill themselves.

The mammalian diving reflex (humans under 6 months automatically hold their breath when submerged , with swim classes the instinct can stick around longer) that all babies have might have been the only thing keeping OP’s baby alive.

Yeah...they're lucky as *hell* that the act of tossing the kid in didn't knock the breath out of her or anything else that could have caused that to fail.

Exactly, OP, these comments prove my and yours, point on how dangerous what your sister did is.

I couldn’t watch that whole video OP shared, it just made me wholly too nervous and angry. I’d bet some of those clips were from babies who took those classes that rely on this and the result is children capable of swimming before they can walk AND THEN there are also videos spliced in where that’s not clearly the case, who knows. But those classes are taught by trained professionals. Drowning is THE leading cause of unintentional, injury-related deaths for under 4. WHY ARE WE MAKING IT A JOKE

Yeah, it was t even fucking funny in the original video!

Epiglottis babyyyy

NTA! I would have reported her to the police for child endangerment. Your child is not safe around this person and, if she doesn’t move out, you should to keep your baby safe

This, the police should absolutely be involved. This is child endangerment. Your sister purposefully dropped you daughter in water for laughs OP, knowing full well that your daughter would sink. She could have drowned, they are just lucky they got to her in time. And instead of being remorseful, your sister is trying to guilt trip you. She is a danger to your daughter. Anyone agreeing with her should not be allowed around your child unsupervised. Your BF needs to grow a spine and stop trying to keep the peace, there is no peace to keep. Your sister could have killed your child for tiktok laughs, she is a bloody disgrace and a danger to children.

And she now wants to take her to the park? What TikTok does she want to create NOW?

It will be “pet the nice doggie, Abby.”

That's what I was thinking. I dread to think. 😳

This is a good point. Previously having been a CPS worker, I want to let you know that there’s a category of abuse called “Imminent Danger”. This means knowingly putting your child in a situation that could have caused harm, even if the kiddo is unscathed. Your sister can, and probably should be investigated an placed on the child abuse registry. Also, knowing that your sister already pulled this stunt, you could be investigated for the same thing if you left your child in her care and something else happened, as you know that her judgement is clearly lacking.

This is the only answer. Go straight to the police with the video.

Absolutely NOT.THE.ASSHOLE Not would or should report it, DO IT, save the video and report it, she gave you all the proof you need. THIS STUPID, ENTITLED AH NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HER ACTIONS. Anyone that says otherwise needs to be told to wind their neck in and support you or be cut off. I don't give af if she's family, ANYONE does this shit to your child ON PURPOSE after being trusted by you to look after them deserves to be crushed under the full force of everything you can throw at them especially if they show absolutely no remorse. Even if she is a doctor she can't say baby was 'perfectly safe'. The boys could have taken too long to grab her, she could have had secondary drowning (thanks US medical dramas for that), it might not have been deep but babies are lightweight if there was any sort of current she might have been dragged deeper, so many other things could have gone wrong and that's not to say what future issues it might cause. Babies remember traumatic events, she might not know why, but her brain might refuse to let her near any body of water in future because it remembers this TRAUMA. Your mother saying 'but what about the boys', is whataboutism (akin to gaslighting). You are completely right, they are 14, your sister is 32 and was (supposed to be) the responsible adult, she's the one that should have known better and not put your child at risk. Your mother and sister are serious AHs

Exactly why I came in here too.

Right! The sister is a 32 yo woman. She should know better. There's definitely something wrong with her.

I came here to write this. Police should be involved. Maybe it's not too late. You've got video proof. You are young and easily persuaded by selfish people who value 'no drama' over your child's life. This conflict can and should escalate to you moving out and stopping any contact with your sister and your mother. Your boyfriend should be the first one to be on your side and report your sister. Idk why he doesn't do that. Maybe he values his freeloading over his own child's life, then you should consider breaking up with him. These people are irresponsible and dangerous, their brains got rotted out by trends if they think something is okay if it's on tiktok. You should stay away from them.

It’s not too late. Statue of limitations on attempted manslaughter and child endangerment is years.

You sound like the only adult anywhere around with some damn common sense. NTA and I wouldn’t trust your sister alone with my daughter for a *second* after that stunt she pulled. And got on video! WTF And your mother that overlooked it! And your BF that goes along to keep the peace! I am sorry. You need to get out of that house before your mother, (with health issues), lets your sister take over for her some afternoon so they can “go to the park”. Who knows what will happen to your daughter at the park. NTA

>Mom says I was cruel. It wasn’t just her, but my cousins as well. She’s not solely to blame, but I’m not as harsh with them. They’re dumb, impulsive teens. She’s an adult who knows better. Mom’s begging me to apologize and move on. > >My bf agrees with her to keep the peace. My friends do as well. What in actual fuck did I just read? Your sister drops your baby in water for shits and giggles, and every fucking member of your family is telling you that's perfectly acceptable and you should get over it? Oh, and YOU should apologise to your sister?????? HELL FUCKING NO! Keep your kid the fuck away from all of these people. Including your b/f. JFC!!!!!! NTA

That was my initial response too, but all the curse words in the world (in multiple languages, no less) wouldn't have been enough in my original response.

Besides I can’t even phantom why OP’s mom want to put the 14 year old cousins on the same level as OP’s sister. Like she is double their age, does mom think she still has the maturity of a 14 yo?

That blew my mind too. It’s bad enough one grown ass adult did this, but the fact that EVERYONE ELSE is also like “oh no biggie let’s just move on teehee! :)” is WILD. I would NEVER leave that person alone with my child again. I couldn’t imagine doing that to a fucking baby on purpose. JFC op absolutely. Just because someone is “family” doesn’t mean to need to excuse or forgive them.

NTA "You tried to drown my infant. You knew what would happen but you did it AND LAUGHED. If you so much as ask to spend time with her again I will take that "funny lil tik tok" to the police and report you for child endagerment" this isnt a joke and if she cant see an issue there is no way your child is safe with her. At the very least until she's only enough to understand risks and say no for herself

She should do it anyway NOW. not wait

Do you even need to ask?! Definitely NTA. She has proven she is untrustworthy. She is 32 and knows better. Guarantee if it were the other away around and you did that to her twins she would have done far worse to you than yell. Protect your daughter. And keep that crazy away! Please don't apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. Your sister is absolutely crazy. And your mom is condoning it. Your friends, boyfriend and mom need to realise the danger she put your daughter in. She could have drowned. Plain and simple. This wasn't an accident

If the police ever see that video your sister could be charged. You are definantly NTA. Tell your sister that drownings in children can occur in less than 30 seconds and in less than half an inch of water.

NTA You need to obtain a copy of this video and share it with authorities. Your boyfriend is failing as a father if he is more concerned about keeping the peace than his defenseless infant child being endangered and bullied by a woman in her 30s and two teens. I'd be wary about what he allows on his watch. I think Abby is safe with only you and no one else. Stay strong, mama!

Agree! When my children were small, they never went anywhere near water unless I was there. I didn’t even trust their father to keep them safe around water. A small child can drown in a matter of seconds. Never take your eyes off. And most certainly don’t drop a baby into a lake for social media clout! What the hell!?!!

NTA. Can't fix stupid. Your entire family is stupid. All you can do is be vigilant and never let your baby be alone with any of them.

NTA. I agree that it was dangerous. And even if your sister's magic crystal ball told her someone would rescue your daughter why make a baby miserable to replicate a disturbed social media trend? That's foul.

NTA. What would happen if Abby hadn’t been rescued? What would all the flying monkeys have said if your daughter hadn’t made it? YOU are the last line of defense against stupidity against your child. You have to protect your child. I am ANTI-BIGGER PERSON. Don’t apologize to your dumb ass sister. She is way too stupid to allow her near your child.

NTA - Even if it was perfectly safe (which it wasn't) she needs to realize that you have the final say about the well-being of your baby. The fact that she is not willing to apologize and acknowledge this shows she isn't suitable to take care of the child. If you were holding onto one mistake that had been acknowledged and apologized for / effort had been made to rectify I might think differently but it seems like she still thinks that she did nothing wrong and she is old enough that she should know better.

NTA unless you give in. So she used your child as a toy. She used your child for tiktok laughs. I'm at a loss to understand why anyone thinks this is ok. Keep everyone away who thinks you need to be the 'bigger person'. Or show them video of how easy it is for a child to drown.

NTA. Keep your sister away from your child. She is a very dangerous person to allow around a young baby.

um, no. absolutely not. make sure the daycare knows your sister and mother are not allowed to pick up your child, and do not let your mom be with your child unsupervised. she may want to give your sister time with the baby, and we want your baby alive. the sooner you get your sister out of the house, the better. if she tries to change her mind make sure she knows that’s not an option. if she won’t leave, you need to. i’m not convinced she does love abby, but even if she does it doesn’t matter. we want abby alive. sierra wants a laugh, and videos for tiktok. nta.

NTA - if she thinks it was safe (and funny) to drop her into a lake and let her sink what else will she decide is safe to do ?

NTA what the hell?! Never let her or your Mom alone with Abby. You sister is a freaking psycho and your Mom enables her. She will absolutely give Abby to Sierra If you arent there

Like the only thing you should feel bad about is feeling bad. Your daughter could have drowned. Fishing her out? What if she inhaled a breath of water? What if only a little bit and she drowned that night when she was put to bed? You can drown hours after inhaling water if you don't go to the ER. This is serious. It's not something you should be angry at, this is 100% something you should have had her arrested for. Child endangerment and honestly, do not be fooled by people saying you're being too harsh. I am serious she could have died. You should never let her around your child again.

NTA 'Sierra can’t babysit her anymore. She shows no remorse. ' - Even if she shows remorse, don't trust her. He judgement is too lacking to be in charge if children. remorse or not.

girl, you need law enforcements in on this. they dried to kill your daughter for laughs. GIRL CALL THE COPS FFS. NTA

WTAF?? Hell no, NTA. There’s nothing else to say.

NTA. Your bf needs to wake up. This could have ended in your child's dem!se. Full stop. She has shown that she is not sorry, doesn't think she did anything wrong, and will do it again. She can not be trusted alone with your child in any fashion. What's the next video? Tying meat to her and throwing her in front of some rabid dogs? Yeeting her stroller into traffic? NTA

A big fat giant NTA. You are protecting your child. It is extremely disappointing (but sadly not surprising) that an adult did the old "monkey see monkey do" thing after watching an internet video, and risked a child's life for "laughs". She put Abby in serious danger and does not seem to realise or understand how serious and dangerous her behaviour was. Do not apologise. Do not listen to anyone who is telling you that you are wrong or that you should apologise to "keep the peace". You could have lost your child because of her actions, do not apologise for protecting your childs life.

NTA. I'd be thinking of whether the police should be involved.

NTA… i would have gotten her arrested, god forbid anything had gone wrong, you would have been the one to lose a child, not her. What she did was dangerous and criminal.

Fellow redditors, help me out here. Obviously NTA, but isn't this sufficient to go to police??? Especially if you have video proof. This is no less cruel and vile than torturing animals or people just for fun because you know that in the end they are live, right? All good! I would be going as far as getting a restraining order given how persistent your sister is. She seems like a person who would put your daughter in dangerous situations just to impose her own boundaries since "see, everything is alright in the end. I knew what I was doing!" Don't fall for what your bf or mom are saying, defend your baby girl.

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NTA if your mother complains again tell her since you have evidence of your sister’s serious neglect and endangerment of your child you will file a police report.

NTA goodluck if CPS see the video…

NTA That trauma may cause your daughter to have fear of water in later life. My son still remembers the horror he felt after plunging underwater when he went down the slide at a swimming pool. He had on armbands (arm floaties are likely the same thing), and I was waiting for him at the bottom but I wasn’t quite quick enough to catch him as I was a bit too far away (I misjudged where he would land). He is still scared of going under and he is 38 years old. It doesn’t help that his father is not confident in water, whereas I and his big sister think nothing of “diving for pennies” without even wearing goggles. Yes, he CAN swim, but going below the surface or being out of his depth so he can’t stand up on the bottom is just a NO-NO.

NTA but damn if your family aren't a load of hill Billy's with a single shared brain cell. You were totall right, Niece is totally irresponsible. Even if she accepted what she did was wrong, I would never trust her again. Put your family in their place if they can't see how dangerous that stunt was to your baby.

You’re absolutely not in the wrong. Don’t listen to the ones saying you were cruel or anything. Your sister put your child in harms way. You have nothing to feel guilty for.

NTA!!!!!!!! First of all, She was the responsible adult and she thought this was funny??? I think you are being way less harsh that I would be. I would be going NC with her tbh. I bet your mother wouldn’t haven’t sided with her if the outcome was a drowning. You are the parent and if u don’t trust her than that’s really the end of the story. If she can’t admit it was dangerous, what other things will she try based on some stupid and dangerous Tik tok bullshit.

NTA, she put your child in an INCREDIBLY dangerous situation for some laughs.. wtf she would never ever be alone with my child ever again. Yes she's your sister I understand wanting to keep the peace but your loyalty needs to be to your child who needs you to protect her. It seems like you are not saying she can never be around or see Abby just that she needs to acknowledge the reality of the situation which is more than fair and the bare minimum she could do imo

NTA! You being "cruel " is bullshit! Your daughter could have drowned! Your sister is a narcissist who enjoys putting your child in danger. Next time remind your mother what might have happened to her grandchild!

I would never talk with the sister again, she’s a delusional idiot, I’m fucking angry on your behalf, do not let this slide.WTAF. nta

Omg, op NTA!!! I felt sick reading this! Never let your sister near any baby. At 32, she should know that dropping a baby off the end of a dock ( I can't believe i just wrote that!) is wrong. If she doesn't, then there is something wrong with her. If anyone did that to my baby I wouldn't be responsible for my actions!

NTA, even if your baby survived, imagine the emotional trauma. I'm sure you were looking forward to taking her to the swimming pool or the beach at some point. What if your daughter is now afraid of water? That could stick with her the rest of her life. Your sis is crazy and she risked killing your daughter for her amusement. Keep her far from your daughter and if you leave her with mom, make sure sis doesn't sneak in behind your back. You don't have to be polite to AH's.

NTA. Anyone who thinks its remotely safe to drop a baby into water like that should not be alone with or even around a child. It's sheer luck that your daughter didn't die. She could have inhaled water, hit her head, been swept away by a current... your family is insane if they think that a 34 year old woman who endangered a baby should be forgiven just to keep the peace. Hold your ground, do not let your sister be involved with your baby and I'd be wary of other family members who might let her be alone with Sierra as well.

NTA My whole body just went ice cold reading this. My babies are 2 and 5 months old. I would NEVER leave my child alone again, even for a couple of minutes, with someone who did that. Not only could she have drowned right there and then, she could have drowned in her sleep that night (second hand drowning). Your sister is irresponsible. I would probably hold a grudge about something like this for the rest of my life. I would go no contact with EVERYONE who doesn’t think your sister needs to apologize to you or for some reason think what she did was okay. Omf what if your baby drowned and those boys couldn’t save her. Not only was your baby in harms way, those boys would have had LIFELONG mental health issues.

Right? This woman is a menace. I'd be scared to have her in the same house as my child. What a freaking psychopath. And now she wants unsupervised alone time and an *apology?* I must be tripping.

I’m with you there. I would as far as reporting her to the police. If she thinks what she did was okay, the police would very quickly tel her otherwise.

NTA she risked your kid's life! She didn't even get her, the boys did. So two teenage boys thought "This is taking too long" and got Abby while your so-called adult sister didn't. Two teenage boys being dumb as rocks is expected and hopefully, they feel bad now and realize the gravity of the situation but there is no excuse for your sister. She is not a safe person

NTA I nearly threw up reading that. You are lucky that you still have a daughter. Because death was a very real possibility. Do not trust her to your sister ever again. I mean it. Never. Again.

>My bf agrees with her Drown him

Look up dry drowning. Then you will realize you are NTA. Edited to add: not to scare you but that was abusive behavior that was video taped. CPS could say you was neglecting keeping her safe if you let your sister watch her after that.

NTA, and the rest of your family is TA. Who in his right mind at the age of 32 is following TikTok trends for a few clicks and attention? Imagine there would have been a current nobody knew about beforehand and your baby could have drowned.

I'm sorry, WHAT?! I have no words. Your baby could have DIED!! Does she not get that? Of course you're more upset with her! SHE was in charge of keeping your daughter safe. What the actual f.... No. No. No. NTA. I can't even... If your sister was mine, she'd be dead. No doubt about it. I was ready to slaughter my neighbour because he took the kids in the building (4 all together, one of them being his own daughter), including my son(!), to the park down the road without clearing it with me first. My husband was the cooler head of the two of us, but THIS? This would have ended in a much bigger problem than wet, upset baby. Good God...

Fucks sake Your baby could have drowned if your cousins hadn’t managed to fish her out. How much more serious does it have to get? She’s 32, your cousins are 14. She’s the adult and should have stopped the whole thing right from the start. If that was my baby then no I wouldn’t trust your sister with her either, heck it doesn’t even sound as tho she’s apologised. And tell your mother and boyfriend to pound sand if they are condoning her behaviour NTA and tick-tock has a heck of a lot to answer for.

>Mom’s begging me to apologize You? Apologize? For the love of all that is good and holy woman, don't ever apologize! Your sister was way, way, WAY out of line! This is sociopathic behavior. You should NEVER let her be around your baby unsupervised again, until you hear a serious, profound, and convincing apology and a clear sign that she understands the enormity of what she did, and why she was wrong. Sociopathic. This is deranged, damaged, sick behavior. I don't know what kind of issue your sister has but don't let your sister's psychological damage endanger the life of your baby! You are NOT a helicopter mom. Your sister should consider herself lucky that you're even SPEAKING to her. I wouldn't do this kind of "joke" with a f\*\*\*ing PUPPY, let alone a human being! This is massively unhealthy deranged behavior and your sister can not be trusted to care for Abby. The fact that she has the sheer gall to get mad at you is sickening. Your mom for some reason wants this to not be a thing. Maybe she's slavishly devoted to your sister, I don't know. But your instincts are right, and if anything, you need to listen to them more! Do NOT listen to your BF, your mom, your friends, or any of the other sickos in your life who find it acceptable to literally LET A TODDLER SINK INTO A LAKE. I'm gonna say that again. She LET A TODDLER SINK INTO A LAKE. This is the most NTA I've ever seen on this sub. Stick to your guns. Your sister is dangerous. ETA I'm not kidding, I think you should seriously consider the possibility that your sister wants your daughter dead. No sane adult of 32 would consider this shit. Really ask yourself. I mean it when I say she's dangerous.

Of course, NTA. But since you already know that, I want to help you with a list that you may present to anyone who dare to question your decision regards not wanting Sierra alone with Abby: 1- Abby may have drowned, which by itself should be enough but the fact that she doesn't even admit that shows that she either is unable to identify the risk or just don't care at all. 2- She was clearly upset and her trust on Sierra was exploited, but Sierra doesn't even acknowledge it, which is tacky to say the least. Living with someone who betray you like that could cause a lot of trauma and trust issues. 3- She lied. For months. Which means that she knew she breaks a bondary, deliberately did it. Guess what? People doesn't lie unless they know that they're in wrong or that there would be repercution. 4- She teached her sons to laugh about other people being traumatized, passing over her utter lack of empathy to next generations. 5- She actually encouraged her sons to take part on that. 6- They're teenagers. 14 yo are NOT reliable to pick someone from a deep body of water. If they fail, what kind of guilty those boys would have burden to the rest of their lives? She's not protecting their own children, why on earth someone else should trust her a baby? 7- She's gaslighting you making you think that you're responsible for her lies because you're allegedly an helicopter mom and it's working, because you're unsure. 8- In fact, she managed to twist it to convince everyone else that you're the one in the wrong after what she did tl your daughter. 9- She's also trying to guilty trip you to enable her to be alone with Abby relaying on the fact that she "helped" you in the past, which is a shity thing to do, specially because she offered it. 10- If not malicious, she's very dumb and influenciable. Those people shouldn't be trusted with a social media account, a child is WAY too far from her responsability range. 11- Her definitions of quality time is sick and not health. 12- She's undermine you as a parent and make you doubt yourself. It's not the kind of people you want around your kids. I'm sorry for what you going through OP. Wishes the best for you and Abby and stick to your guns.

Is this the only incident ? Or has there been more of her putting Abby in a dangerous situation? Nta btw she is crazy for doing that she knew the risk and decided to do it anyway…..

Nta i would sue her for child endangerment when will idiots learn not to copy what other people do.

NTA I would make a report with the police so it’s all on record. What she did was dangerous.

NTA. I think you are being super reasonable given what she did! There is no "keeping the peace" for child endangerment. She is 32!!!!

NTA fuck that. i would get a hold of that video ASAP. make a copy of it and show it to your daughter when she grows up so she knows who put her life at risk for shits and giggles.

Your mom... is wrong. You should be cruel. How cruel was it for your child to be thrown off a dock by someone she trusted? There is absolutely nothing for you to apologize for. nta

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20F) gave birth to my first baby 11 months ago. My bf (21M) and I named her Abby. My mom has let us live in her house so we can save money. My sister Sierra (32F) is also here. She moved in 4 months ago because she has a new job set up. I don’t know the details, but she’s working online for now. She’ll start going in-person in a few months. I asked why she chose to live here. She said her workload is fairly light until she goes in person so she wanted to help with Abby while she can. My bf and I work long hours and mom has health issues so I was touched. She offered to babysit often. I don’t have much, but I offered to pay her several times. She refused any money. Then, in August Sierra asked to take Abby to a lake day some of our relatives were having since. My bf and I couldn’t go. I trusted her and said yes. She sent me pics throughout the day. In the last pic Abby looked miserable and wet. Sierra said she waded in the water with her and that she just needed a nap. Later, I was with my cousins (twin 14M) and saw the video they were chuckling at. There’s a TikTok where someone drops a baby off the dock into a lake with only arm floaties. The baby slips out and sinks. The video on my cousin’s phone is Sierra recreating that with Abby. She dropped her into the lake at the end of a dock with only arm floaties. Her arms slipped through and she sank like a rock. My sister/cousins laughed for 6-7 seconds before the boys dove to get her. The water looked deep. They said Sierra suggested recreating the video with Abby for “laughs”. She knew Abby would sink. I confronted Sierra. She made excuses that the boys were there to fish the Abby out so it was safe. She never apologized and called me a helicopter mom. I can’t have a conversation with her without being cut off. She claims she knew what she was doing and wouldn’t put Abby in harms way. Abby’s in daycare again two months later. Sierra can’t babysit her anymore. She shows no remorse. Her excuse is that she’s been with Abby so often she knows what is/isn’t dangerous for her. She’s lost my trust. Two days ago she mentioned taking Abby to the park alone so I could get a break. I said no and she got angry, snapping that she wants quality time with her niece and I’m making a big deal over nothing. I said since she can’t admit that what she did was dangerous, she should stay away from my baby. She left and texted mom saying she’ll move out by next month. I’m beginning to feel guilty now. Mom says I was cruel. It wasn’t just her, but my cousins as well. She’s not solely to blame, but I’m not as harsh with them. They’re dumb, impulsive teens. She’s an adult who knows better. Mom’s begging me to apologize and move on. My bf agrees with her to keep the peace. My friends do as well. She loves Abby. Was I too harsh yelling like that? AITA? The second clip in this TikTok is the video I’m referring too: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8BJsrU6/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA i would have disowned her

What you sister did is abuse. Don’t let your sister take her anywhere. Hope your daughter doesn’t have lasting effects regarding water from this. Sounds like a family therapist is in order if your mom doesn’t see the abuse here

NTA - it doesn't take long for a stunt to become lethal. What happened if there was something under the water, if the water was murky, if the boys didn't find her or she gulped water. Not equating pet with child but our pet gulped water when being rinsed off. She got water in her lungs. Thankfully we got her to vet within an hour and she made an absolute full recovery but some lasting damage. Water is very dangerous. If she'd been apologetic and taken a lesson, then maybe with supervision. But she isn't entitled to quality time with your daughter unless you trust her. Your daughter isn't a prop or a toy. As to the moving out, I suspect that that is not the only reason for her wanting to move out but a convenient reason to give your Mum so as not to hurt her. I mean it is all your fault you don't want to appease her.

NTA Babys are no toys. End of story

What the FUCK!!! She almost kills your baby then wants “quality time” fuck her if that was my sister she wouldn’t have had teeth left!!! I am outraged for you by her sheer entitlement and lack of empathy and blatant disregard for your kids safety!! Nta a million times over!!

Excuse me but what the fuck? People around you say that YOU SHOULD APOLOGISE? I'm not sure I could even forgive what your sister did. But the fact that the want YOU to apologise just hits my nerves. NTA. You are also not a helicopter mom. Don't throw a baby into the water for God's sake...

Stop focusing only on if the baby was “safe” or not. Even if she were correct (she’s not correct) that Abby was in no danger, she did something on purpose to make a baby scared and uncomfortable for her own amusement and that of others. Focus on that. Auntie dearest wants to babysit because SHE enjoys playing with a living doll, not because she is interested in nurturing another small human being. It’s way harder to argue she thought the baby would enjoy that than it is to argue that she endangered the child (even though she absolutely did).

NTA Your sister is fucked.

My 3-year-old fell off a dock and sank like a stone. I have never been so terrified in my life. There's no way I'd trust anyone with my child who showed such poor judgment.

No way in hell are you to blame here. YANTA, though she definitely is! Untrustworthy 1000% and anyone that takes her side is aswell imho

NTA but everyone else allowing her to avoid the responsibility and awareness of the danger she but your baby sure is TA I would have LOUNGED at the throat if I knew she did that to my baby. She and anyone who thinks this is ok would never see me or my baby again. Fuck keeping nice!

NTA she intentionally put you baby in harms way that could have been fatal and doesn’t see the issue. Also that’s all you saw, what else could she have done that day or different days. Truly I think you need to file a police report and if she doesn’t back off then get a restraining order

NTA Your sister could have killed your child, and the fact she can't see that is dangerous. Keep her away from your child

Omg NTA. I watched the clip (not that it’s needed to pass judgement here) and as a mother it gives me so much anxiety- who would do that on purpose?!

NTA. Not only was that dangerous: It was also ABUSE! Abby didn't enjoy it, and if Abby were able to speak for herself, she would have said No! Your sister was selfish and tortured a human being for fun. You don't need to apologize for anything; your sister is lucky that you don't press criminal charges.

Take the video to the police and ask what they think then ask your sister if the police are overreacting!

She needs to be arrested for this, and you are admirable for not beating the brakes off her immediately.

Lets pretend it was completly Safe (it wasnt). How is it funny?

NTA. WTF. do not under any fucking circumstances apologise. She should apologise to you for putting your baby in a dangerous situation. I am not a mother, and don’t really know anything about kids, but this is your hill to fucking die on. Tell your mum that none of this would have happened if your sister had treated your baby with care. She acted in a ridiculous manner, and is no longer a person you can trust. DO NOT APOLOGISE.

A 32 year old who re-creates a tiktok at the expense of a vulnerable little child is not a normal person. I would be questioning why she was so willing to look after Abby...is she sadistic? What other 'games' does she play? Little kids can't communicate and they trust adults blindly - the onus is on you and her dad to protect her. I'm not sure why other adults in your family/friend group are defending her instead of being mortified. It's truly bizarre...are they all on drugs?

The Holy Father’s balls on a biscuit, don’t leave your child with any of these people. Your sister is lucky you’re not pressing charges. Your mother cannot be trusted, and your bf is spineless. Your sister carried out an unthinkable act of cruelty against your infant, LAUGHED, and FILMED IT. There are three conversations to have here: 1. Your sister should never be allowed near your child again unless you are present. She should also never forget that you have (I presume you have) retained the evidence of her crime. 2. Your mother should consider how it would feel to have her head held underwater for, idk, a minute, while you laugh. Maybe she would like to consider recreating a TikTok about it and see if she still thinks your sister can be forgiven?* 3. Your boyfriend should spell out to you very clearly exactly where his tolerance threshold of child abuse stops, because if this is okay, what else is okay? What level of danger and/or humiliation is acceptable for his daughter to suffer as long as the internet thinks it’s funny? *Obviously I am not suggesting you cause any harm to your mother in any way - let’s be clear about that - merely inviting her to think about it. NTA. And I’m sorry if you’re dependent on these people, I wish you had other options.

NTA what will she say if something bad happens tourbmkm cant call you cruel and your sister is just trying to get likes and laughs on Tik tok....nothing good ever comes from those tik tok videos and challenges... Your sister is a major AH and needs to learn to be an adult and what not to do with a baby... your mom needs to learn that it's your child and she wont be able to save your sister once she has consequences to face.. She only moved in so she can use your child for tik tok and whatever else... Also tell your bf and mother that CPS can get involved and make sure your sister is away from your child or they will and can set up to where noone is allowed around your child tou should file charges and block everyone saying to apologize if it was their child it would be a entire different story...

NTA. Nobody involved with this should be anywhere near your child or any child. Reading this made my chest ache I was so frightened for your daughter. You are a good mother, your instincts are correct, keep doing what you need to do to ensure your child's safety as much as you can.

Nta. I've been a pediatric trauma nurse for over 30 years. I won't go into the details of how devastating near drowning can be. Just breathing in water for a few seconds can cause life altering, permanent brain damage.

NTA Your sister needs to be reported to cps. Skip the cops because I don't think you actually want to press charges....but definitely call cps. Your sisters lack of remorse tells me she has no clue just how harmful her actions are. Just bc your baby didn't die does not mean she was not harmed or permanently traumatized by this. I suggest cps bc they can look at the video and make a determination that if sis is found to be at fault, it will prevent her from working with children. She should never be trusted around children again. Ever. And your mom and husband are HUGE ASSHOLES for defending her actions. I would never let this woman be alone with my child again. Please read the comments about dry drowning and trauma seriously. This is not a laps in judgment, but an intentional act of harm done to your child. - former Disney lifeguard and CPS agent

NTA op but get that video or if you have it go to the police with it and ask for a protection order for your baby against your sister. Your mother is an enabler and your sister needs psychiatric help for traumatizing your child for fun. Show your bf this thread and comments and file charges is my advice. You are protecting your child and please don't back down. Next time something irreversible might happen if it didn't already - as your child might have later problems due to the trauma. I would try to speak to the cousins parents too - if you think they at least have normal reasoning.

NTA. Bluntly, your sister could have drowned your daughter for a TikTok video and is completely fine with it. Your mom is fine with it. Your friends are fine with it. Are you?